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January 29, 2011

He stopped advertising with us because he got too much business?

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 9:47 am

I rarely have situations like this. But, once in a while I call one of the more seasoned Notaries and they don’t want to advertise for various reasons. It takes a long time in this business to get so much business that you don’t need to advertise. Normally those people have been doing this at least fifteen years before they are in that type of situation. Yes folks, it does take a long time to get established as a Notary Public. I only was a signing agent for six years, so I never got fully established.

In any case, when I called this person, he said that he used to be a corporate executive vice president of a corporation. He quit his job to become a Notary Public. He got so much business from our site that he couldn’t advertise any more because he couldn’t handle all of the calls.

However, business dropped so much in the last year, that he wanted to continue advertising and I was able to sell him an upgrade. He still gets lots of work, but from people who don’t pay him enough and he wants to attract some higher paying clients. Don’t we all? In any case, it was nice to get such a serous and fun client back. But, I am amazed that in 2018 he is getting six or more jobs per day, almost every day?

If you want to know a good background for being a successful mobile notary, try being a vice president of a business. That will make you sharp on being business-like. He also gave me the oddest compliment. He liked that I spoke in complete sentences which made me start to wonder…. Do other people use partial sentences? Don’t know. Doesn’t matter. Never thought about that.

In any case, if you want to get too much business, advertise on 123notary. But… make sure you have reviews. Reviews are a magnet on any site to get more positive attention.

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The Middle – Sue calls the notary about an Occupancy Affidavit

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 8:16 am

FRANKIE: We need a Notary for some dumb paper about our house. I can’t believe we need this! What a headache.

MIKE: I don’t even remember what a notary is. I wonder who could fill me in.

BRICK: Hmmm, I could look that up and tell you about it.

SUE: Oh, that’s so exciting. We’re being notarized! I don’t even know what that means, but I’m so excited. What is a Notary?

AXL: Who cares about some dumb notary. It’s probably a loser job for people who couldn’t make it doing a real job.

FRANKIE: Axl! Now, can’t you learn to be respectful about what people do? And by the way, with your grades, you’re not going to end up being anything wonderful until you clean up your act mister.

MIKE: We told him dozens of time. He’ll listen one day. It might be too late by then, but he’ll eventually listen.

BRICK: Hmmm, it says here that a Notary Public is an ancient profession that started in the Roman empire, and was used to protect the integrity of critical documents affecting business, property, other agreements, and more.

SUE: That’s so interesting! We’re going to do something the Romans did! Can I wear a toga when the Notary comes?

FRANKIE: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Although, maybe it depends on who the notary is and if he wants to stay for drinks after the notarization.

BRICK: Let’s see. It also says that in modern America, notaries are used to verify that the person signing a document is the person they claim to be by checking their identification, taking thumbprints for critical documents, and making document signers sign their journal, and also sometimes sign documents in their presence. This is very interesting. I think I’d like to take out a few books from the library on the subject.

MIKE: Now Brick, you already have more than a dozen late books from the library. Do you think you could return those before you get any more books?

BRICK: I could, but I’m not done reading those yet.

AXL: I think he’ll need to get a paper route just to pay for all of the late fines for all of the dumb books he reads.

FRANKIE: Well at least he has a high level of reading comprehension which is more than I can say for you. For your information, Brick has a reading ability six years ahead of his grade level.

AXL: Yeah, but have you ever seen him try to throw a football? To say he throws like a girl would be an compliment!

MIKE: Now, now. You and Brick are just different, and that’s okay — providing you do your homework, and put on a shirt.

AXL: Whatever…

SUE: So, when is the notary coming?

FRANKIE: I haven’t set up the appointment yet. It’s just for one document — the Occupancy Affidavit. It just says that we live in the house.

AXL: And you need an Affidavit for that? How lame!

BRICK: Let me know if I can help in any way. This whole notarization process fascinates me. If I stay up until midnight, I can finish my other books and then get a few books on notarization tomorrow from the library.

SUE: Can I help? I could call the notary and set up the appointment. Is that okay?

FRANKIE: I don’t see why not. Just make sure you confirm all the details with me.

SUE: (ring-ring) Hello? Like, are you a Notary Republic?

NOTARY: Well, uh, I’m a Notary Public. I haven’t declared statehood yet.

SUE: Ohhh… this is so exciting… Oh, sorry. Yes, well, my family needs a particular Real Estate document… a very official Real Estate document notarized. Can you come and help us in your very official capacity with our official document?

NOTARY: I officially can.

SUE: (putting hand on the mouthpiece) Oh, he can! He can! (taking hand off mouthpiece) That’s great. Can you come tomorrow?

NOTARY: Yes, I can… officially that is.

SUE: Great. see you then!

NOTARY: Wait a second. Don’t go yet. My fee is $50 including travel. I need to know the document being signed, who the signers are, your address, and if the signers are of sound mind and body.

SUE: Well, not everybody in this house is of sound mind and body, but the ones signing are! Mom and dad will be the signers and our address is 15 Bloomington Lane, Orson, Indiana. Just go to the cornfield, and turn left. You can’t miss it.

NOTARY: Tell mom and dad to have their current identifications ready for the signing. I’ll be there at 7pm!

SUE: Great! (hangs up) He’s coming! He’s coming! Tomorrow at 7pm. This is so cool. I’m telling all my friends at school.

FRANKIE: Just don’t get too excited if he’s cute, deal?

SUE: Deal, deal deal and a half!

FRANKIE: And you Brick, during the signing, please don’t bury your head in one of your books. Try to be what we like to call, “interactive!”

BRICK: Hmm? What?

FRANKIE: Never mind!

.

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Two notaries assigned the same job?

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular Overall 2011,Posts With Many Comments — Tags: , , , — admin @ 7:16 am

Two notaries assigned the same job?
 
There I was, a California notary public in Tustin, CA. I had driven down from Los Angeles to sign a loan for a nice couple in Orange County, California. We were signing away, when lo and behold:  The notary showed up.  He asked, “Who are you?”.  I then proclaimed, “I am the notary”.  Then, he said, “That’s impossible, I’m the notary!”.  “No you’re not!”.  “Yes I am”.  “Am NOT!”. “AM TOO!…”  Okay, let’s be honest, the “am not am too” part never happened.  I’m embelleshing this signing agent dialogue. The couple was just staring in confusion.  The wife was displaying the exact same mannerisms as a cat watching a dangling string.  He head rotated to the left and looked at me, then head rotated to the right and looked at the other notary, then back at me, and back at him…. Hmmm.  What is going on?
 
The Signing company hired two notaries?
How could they! After all of my hard work, they would have the gaul to… Oh… wait a minute, let me call them and straighten the whole thing out. 
 
Ring Ring…..
 
Me – Hello, may I speak to Mary please, this is Jeremy your California notary for the Anderson Signing in Tustin. 
Mary – Hi, this is Mary! 
Me – Hi, Mary, it seems that you hired two notaries for the same job. 
Mary – What? We would never do that
Me – Odd, because as we speak, there is another notary here.  Or, should I say, “A Notarial Triangle”
Mary – Hmmm… Let me call the Title company.
………… ten minutes later
Mary – I found out what happened
Me – Please do tell?
Mary – The title company hired two signing companies to handle this California notary job, and the OTHER signing company sent that OTHER California notary out.
Me – Mmmm.  So, which signing company was SUPPOSED to be responsible for the job.
Mary – We are.  The title company cancelled with the other signing company, but apparantly, they didn’t cancel with the notary.
Me – Oh, no they didn’t!!!
Mary – Oh, yes they did.
Me – This has never happened in my career to date.  And I hope it never happens again. Just make sure that I’m the one who gets paid, although the other one should get a travel fee, don’t you agree?
Mary – Thats between him and the OTHER signing company.
Me – I KNEW there had to be another signing company. I could just tell from the way he was looking at me.
 
So, jokes aside, the other notary left, we finished the signing.  Into the UPS box it went, and off I went on my merry way out of what we affectionally call, “The OC”, and back up the 5 Freeway, or is it the 405 — its been so long I can’t even remember, through Anaheim, Downey, Commerce, and back to Los Angeles where I logged in my transaction and faxed a bill to the signing company.
 
The End!

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Flipping cars: ride with a quick-thinking WV Notary

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 3:23 am

One successful West Virginia notary public explains, “I do a lot of car title work for guys who flip cars. You know, buy them and then sell them quickly for a profit. I notarize all the documents that need to be done. A lot of people do this part-time to earn extra money. They buy cars from private people or even from auctions. They know about cars, and they know how to repair them. But they don’t know about fraud, ” explains the WV notary. “Through all my dealings with young men in this business, I have learned how dirty the used car market is and how to recognize a fake check or a counterfeit money order. Fraud is also a big business, particularly when people are out of work” she comments.

“One time,” says our bright-eyed West Virginia notary, “this gung-ho young man called me and told me he had just sold a car for $3000. Wanted me to notarize the car title so he could turn the title over to the buyer. In West Virginia, you have to notarize the car title. I met him a few minutes after his call. Anyway, in this situation, the seller had just given the car to the buyer a few minutes before. Oops.”

“This young man named Chris, the seller, showed me three money orders for $1000 each. I questioned that. Why would a buyer give him three separate money orders? I told the seller and suggested he wait before cashing them. He needed a ride home. When I gave him a ride home, we passed a bank. I asked Chris, ‘Let’s just stop for a bit. I know someone at this bank. My friend the manager knows all about counterfeit money and fraud, and has testified as an expert witness,’ I told him.”

“I took the money orders into the bank and showed them to the manager, who happened to be filling in for a teller that day. She touched one of the money orders and said they were fake! ‘Rub this circle, ‘ she said, pointing to a place on the face of the money order. ‘It did not turn white.’ She explained that it did not use the proper ink and chemical process and showed me it was also missing a line and some hidden text next to a watermark. The ‘buyer’ had probably gotten the counterfeit money orders off the Internet, where there is also additional information about the counterfeit money order scam,” explained our West Virginia notary.

“I went back to the car. Then, I called the buyer and told him my husband worked for the sheriff: ‘If you don’t return the car, you’ll have a whole batch of police on your back and worse. Fraud is a federal offense…’ Then I rattled off the penalties, which I happened to remember He got mad and tried to lie, but I told him to hold the BS and told him where to meet us off the Interstate. He was only 5 minutes away. We recovered the car!” smiles our West Virginia notary. “Over the past few years, I have done a lot of notary work for this young man. And– he is going to write me a review–not that I understand how that will help me,” she adds.

Over the past few years, this notary has kept in touch with Chris, who has provided her with a lot of referrals. Her husband the sheriff? That was a bluff; but by standing her ground and using her righteous indignation and knowledge, this notary did a good deed and also upheld the law. Pretty good for a morning’s work!

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January 28, 2011

Tomorrow’s Notary Publics

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 10:59 pm

no·ta·ry public

noun \ˈnō-tə-rē-\
plural notaries public

————————————

The kids who grow up to become doctors or lawyers have it easy. Oh sure, they have to get into med school or law school. They have to avoid getting thrown out of med school or law school. Physicians have to breathe the germs of sick people. Lawyers have to address curmudgeons as “Your honor” if the curmudgeon is wearing a robe. (Unless it’s Hugh Hefner wearing a robe.) But all of this is a cakewalk compared to growing up to become a notary public. You can study pre-law or pre-med. Pre-notary public? Dream on.

Kids who become doctors or lawyers are conditioned to become doctors or lawyers. Their parents and teachers dangle those career carrots from an early age, encouraging any signs of medical or legal predispositions. What are the signs of a budding notary public prodigy?

“Hello, class. I’m your teacher, Ms. Morrison.”

As Ms. Morrison writes her name on the board, all of her students slavishly continue to zone in on their handheld devices, except for one pimply kid she notices “witnessing” her signature.

“Young man, have you ever thought of becoming a notary public? You just might have the right stuff!”

A teacher’s seal of approval one day. A notary public’s seal of approval years later.

Doctors and lawyers have role models: Doogie Howser … Dr. Oz … Dr. Dre … Perry Mason. OJ’s lawyers. (Not the ones who got him off for murder. The ones who got him locked up for sports memorabilia.) Most notaries are forbidden from offering legal advice or preparing legal documents. Remember L.A. Law? Remember L.A. Notary Public? Me neither.

“Tonight, on L.A. Notary Public, Ted affixes a certificate!”

Wait… sounds likes last week’s L.A. Notary Public. What do you expect? He’s a notary public!

Kids want to grow up to become firemen … astronauts … rock stars… glorified karaoke contestants who follow in the footsteps of American Idol, Carrie Underwood, and dodge the footsteps of American idle, Lee DeWyze. Remember Lee? Me neither.

As The Lone Ranger rides again, kids continue to play “cowboys and Indians.” No child on record has been caught playing “notary publics and document holders.”

Presuming notary publics reproduce future generations of notary publics, how can we help ensure their not so livelihoods latch onto enough sex appeal to generate the action required to reproduce future generations? Dim the lights…

“I’m Ryan Seacrest… and this… is American Notary Public!”

Randy Jackson: “Yo, what’s your name?”

Bill Dudley: “Bill Dudley.”

Randy Jackson: “Are you the next American Notary Public?”

Bill Dudley: “Definitely.”

Randy Jackson: “Okay, dawg, do your thing.”

Bill Dudley: “Can I have your autograph?”

Randy hands Bill a piece of paper with his autograph. Bill stamps said piece of paper.

Randy Jackson: “Bill Dudley’s in it to win it!”

*

Andy Cowan is an award-winning writer, producer and performer, whose credits include “Cheers,” “Seinfeld” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” He can be reached through his website, http://upanddownguys.com

Tweets:
(1) You can study pre-law or pre-med. Pre-notary public? Dream on.
(2) What are the signs of a budding notary public prodigy?
(3) “Young man, have you ever thought of becoming a notary public? You just might have the right stuff!”
(4) Kids play “cowboys and Indians.” No child on record has been caught playing “notary publics and document holders.”

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Notary Airport

Filed under: General Stories,Popular on Facebook (shares),Popular on Linked In — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 11:55 am

NOTARY: One day there will be a Notary Airport

SAM: When pigs can fly.

NOTARY: Well actually, it will be seals flying. The airplanes will look like giant seals, whiskers and all.

SAM: Maybe they should make a Notary submarine that looks like a seal instead of a flying seal.

NOTARY: The good part is that when Notarizations are done on the plane, the prices will be sky high!

SAM: Yeah, and if you notarize in the air, you can join the Notary mile high club.

NOTARY: Yes, but wait until you find out what the airport layout will look like….

The terminals will be shaped like Notary seals. Each terminal will have a coffee house and bar with a Notary bartender. The newpaper store will sell NNA’s newsletter in addition to the Wall Street Journal. The parking lot will have a special section for Notaries that is closest to where the shuttle picks you up. And when you go to check in your bags, they make you sign the journal and thumbprint. How cool is that?

Scene from aiport security.

OFFICER: Sir, please remove any metal objects from your pockets and step forward slowly.

SAM: Okay… should I take off my belt too?

OFFICER: Just wait for us to put on the saxophone music before you do that please sir.

SAM: Got it.

OFFICER: Our scanner found a metal object in your bag that resembles an embosser?

SAM: Is that a problem, officer?

OFFICER: Well, not necessarily. Is this a registered embosser?

SAM: Does it need to be?

OFFICER: Step to the side sir.

SAM: Uh-oh.

OFFICER: I’m going to need to pat you down. Please stand still.

SAM: Wow, you’re good at that.

OFFICER: I know… I get that a lot. I used to be a Priest for 30 years, a ballet teacher for 3 years, plus I worked in the airport for 4 years.

SAM: Oh, it all adds up now. Now I know why that comes so naturally to you. The embosser was authorized by my state. I have the paperwork at home.

OFFICER: Great. Let me just check your commission number on our computer system… Uh huh. Okay, no unauthorized used on our database. The waiting areas are in front of you or have a drink at the flying embosser. Just don’t use your embosser under the influence of alcohol or heavy medication per airport regulations. If you get bored in the waiting room, you can read Notary Handbooks from all 50 states plus DC.

SAM: I’ll get bored, but not that bored. Thanks.

OFFICER: And may God bless you — if there is a God.

SAM: Some Priest you are/were.

OFFICER: Well, I stopped being a Priest because I stopped believing in God.

SAM: Hmm. Well, I stopped being a Mortgage Broker in 2009 because I lost interest.

OFFICER: Forgive me father for I have rescinded — that was a good one! I’m just kidding, I still believe in God, I quit the church to run for the senate because things at the church got too — political.

SAM: Gotcha!

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Seinfeld: George’s parents get a vow renewal

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 11:09 am

Frank & Estelle: George’s parents get a notarized vow renewal.

FRANK: It says here that a Notary can perform a Wedding and that such a Notary licensed to do such an act is referred to as a Wedding Officient.

ESTELLE: Read the fine print where it says that Notary’s can only perform such act in Maine, South Carolina and Florida.

GEORGE: Don’t you guys have a condo you can stay at down in Florida? You could have it done there.

FRANK: We’re not going all the way down to Florida now. We are just getting a vow renewal notarized. Anyone can do that. It is just a glorified Oath.

GEORGE: What’s the point? You’re happily married. You nag each other about everything. What could be better? I would say, if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

ESTELLE: It’s for sentimental reasons. We can get all dressed up in our wedding outfits, appear before a Notary, and state our vows again. How romantic.

GEORGE: (mumbling something) Sounds… great… I guess.

(back in the city)

KRAMER: You’re never going to believe this. I’m getting a second job as a riding instructor! It’s a great way to meet women. I never knew how much women loved horses until I went to this ranch. Gidde up!

GEORGE: Second job? What’s your first job? Since when do you work?

KRAMER: I’m a pastry taster. I’m a trained connoisseur. They call me the sommelier of pastry in the Village.

JERRY: (Rolling his eyes around.) Well, if they pay you… So, George, what’s new with you?

GEORGE: My parents.

JERRY: Oh… (unenthusiastically) What about them?

GEORGE: They’re getting this vow renewal thing done. I don’t really understand what it’s about. I referred them to this guy I know who is a Notary who can do the job.

KRAMER: Oh, that’s wonderful! I’d like to have that done too — if I were married. I’d do it every year!

JERRY: I don’t understand what the big deal is about. But, if they want it, they want it.

(back in the parent’s home)

NOTARY: May I see the document and your ID please?

FRANK: We don’t have a document.

NOTARY: You dragged me all the way out here without a document?

GEORGE: The document dad, you’ve gotta have a document. You told me you would write one up.

ESTELLE: Well, we didn’t think over what we were going to say. We were spending too much time on our outfits. How do we look? Does this dress make me look fat?

GEORGE: No, not a bit mom.

NOTARY: Well, you’ve gotta have a document, or at least some wording that I can perform an Oath on.

FRANK: You mean we invited twelve of our closest friends, spent 98 dollars and 12 cents on hors d’ouvres, and we can’t get notarized without a document?

GEORGE: You gotta have a document. And preferably current identification too.

ESTELLE: I don’t need identification. I don’t drive.

NOTARY: This is going to be a long day. I charge a travel fee plus waiting time you know.

FRANK: And we owe him this too. We — are unprepared!

ESTELLE: I guess your training in the army has worn off.

FRANK: You can say that again!

GEORGE: Well, why don’t we just write a little something up now. Do you have any paper?

FRANK: I have this expensive party napkin your mother forced me to buy at the party store. Each one cost 77 cents if I calculate correctly.

GEORGE: Well, then it will be a very expensive Oath. Better yet, let me call Kramer… (ring ring)

KRAMER: You need a wedding vow renewal Oath? Just look one up on Google. They have tons of them there. Whoa horsy.

GEORGE: You’re talking on the phone while you’re riding?

KRAMER: There’s no law against it. You should just avoid texting while galloping. They have a thing about that over here on the ranch.

GEORGE: You just be careful. And could you bring us over some leftover pastries while you’re at your 1st job?

KRAMER: You got it.

FRANK: This vow you printed out is perfect.

ESTELLE: I’ll start.

Good evening everyone. All of you look terrific. My name is Estelle, and before me is a New York State Notary Public, but not a wedding officiant. We gather here to renew our life-cycle celebrant. It is my honor to be present at this vow renewal. Before we begin, please make sure to turn your phone ringers on full blast, so if someone’s phone rings, we know who to blame. Please rise.

One of the wonderful things about vow renewals is that they also serve as a multi-family reunion. Let us honor the parents in this event… Unfortunately, they couldn’t make it. Let us honor the children in this event.

Now, Groom and Groom, I now ask that we read this excerpt from Plato’s symposium… Groom and Groom? Georgie.. where did you get this script from?

GEORGE: The internet mom. I thought we were in a hurry, so I got the first script I could get my hands on.

FRANK: No problem, just have the Notary read it, and where it says Groom and Groom, change it to Bride and Groom, or Groom and Bridge. Whichever he likes better.

(10 minutes later)

NOTARY: Please raise your right hands — So, do you Frank take Estelle as your renewed Bride, and to honor her and cherish her forever and ever and ever, so long as you shall both live?

FRANK: Even into the afterlife — if there is one.

NOTARY: And do you Estelle, take Frank as your renewed Groom, and will honor, cherish, obey, and love him so long as you both shall life?

ESTELLE: I do, but he is supposed to obey me, and I’m not so sure about all of this afterlife mumbo-jumbo.

NOTARY: I now pronounce you renewed husband and wife. You may kiss the other Groom… I mean the Bride. Boy, this script keeps you on your toes!

ESTELLE: Now, it’s cake time! We had our cake made to look like a Jurat. Guess what piece you are getting Mr. Notary?

NOTARY: Ummm

ESTELLE: You get the Venue!

NOTARY: Oh… It’s wonderful, but I think the county is Queens here not New York.

ESTELLE: Once you’ve had a few shots of rum, you won’t know the difference. Drink up!

.

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George Lopez Notary Public

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 10:10 am

GEORGE: Hey Angie, I think we need a Notary for Carmen’s report card.

ANGIE: Okay, I can call one. Can you use the online yellow pages.

GEORGE: I prefer the paginas amarillos, but I’ll settle for whatever I can get.

ANGIE: If you use the paginas amarillos, you will get a Notario Publico. I’m not sure if that’s even legal.

GEORGE: Just as long as it’s barely legal. You know what I mean. Like that swim suit you wore last year.

ANGIE: Hey, I like that swim suit.

GEORGE: Me too!

ERNIE: Hey guys. I overheard you need a Notary to notarize a swim suit? That’s going to be one very small notarization in two pieces.

ANGIE: You can’t notarize a swim suit.

GEORGE: I know, there would be hardly anything to notarize, in your case.

ERNIE: You know, I just had lunch. I saw some old ladies eating potatoes. How pathetic, you know?

GEORGE: I know. You saw mamas eating papas.

CARMEN: Very funny. Like cannibalism. Like the time I went to have Japanese food at a cannibalistic restaurant where the first item on the menu was Raw Men.

GEORGE: Hey Carmen, you are too young to be eating raw men. At least cook them first and get some frijoles tambien!

CARMEN: For your information, my report card cannot be notarized. We need your signature on a document saying that you saw my report card.

ANGIE: Oh, so now we are getting technical.

CARMEN: If you don’t get technical, the notarization will not be honored or even possible.

GEORGE: Good point. Which of my ID’s should I use?

ANGIE: The one that’s not expired!

GEORGE: Oh, I better check. But, don’t we need to draft a document?

BENNY: I can draft the document. I have plenty of experience with this getting my ex-boyfriends out of jail and getting their vehicles out of impound. What does the document need to say?

ANGIE: It says right here?

GEORGE: Can I write it in Spanish and then get a certified translator?

BENNY: That’s gonna cost you, and there’s no guarantee the translation will be correct.

GEORGE: Well, what if I pretend I can’t speak English, then can the Notary still Notarize my signature?

ANGIE: I think that direct communication is required for notarizing a person’s signature in most states according to the 123notary.com blog.

GEORGE: 123notary? Well why use the paginas amarillos when we can use uno dos tres notary punto com!

VIC: It sounds more like a Cuban radio station the way you say it. It makes me want to get my congas out of the closet because they are collecting dust.

ANGIE: But, if you play them you will be raising the dust, and we wouldn’t want that!

VIC: Silence, and let the master take part in his trade…. Rumba… my boriquen rumba… ay mi dios my rumba, sumba y catumba… felices!!!!

ANGIE: What happened to ritmo cubano?

VIC: This one is Puerto Rican, just like the Notary who’s coming in five minutes. I already arranged the meeting and drafted the document. You see. I am a step ahead of you. All I ask, is that you let him lead. Notaries from San Juan are like that.

NOTARY: I’m here! Which one of you is Vic.

VIC: Me, of course, the good looking one papi.

GEORGE: I’m good looking too… most of the time, at least when I’ve had my hair done. I’m the signer, so here is my ID.

NOTARY: You don’t look like the guy in the photo.

GEORGE: Oh that’s because I had my hair done for the photo, but didn’t today. But, the eyebrows should match. See???

NOTARY: Hmm. Okay. Sign here, and then sign my journal.

GEORGE: Journal? Nobody told me anything about a journal.

NOTARY: Su firma aqui por favor!

GEORGE: Okay… ahorita!

NOTARY: Stamps the form. Here you are. Your daughter is off the hook. Your DJ, that’s another story. I know a good conga teacher not far from here.

VIC: Hey, I am practically a professional, what are you talking about? Hey, doesn’t George have to swear under Oath?

NOTARY: Not today. Maybe next time if you are lucky. Just keep your arm flexible just in case I ask you to raise your right hand.

.

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Don’t be intimidated

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 9:18 am

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU AS NOTARIES HEARD THE FOLLOWING?
Don’t be intimidated. Know the laws and stand your ground. Be an empowered Notary!

1. My lawyer said that you don’t need to attach anything. Just sign it and I will get out of your hair.
2. The other Notary I went to did not attach anything to the same document. Why are you?
3. Look, I used to be a Notary. Don’t give me a hard time.
4. I am a Lawyer…I do this for a living. Please don’t question me.
5. Look, if you don’t do it there are a hundred other notaries who will be happy to have my business.

At the end of the day, you need to be confident in the Notary Laws. Take the 123 Notary exam and be listed as an Elite Certified Notary. At the beginning of every year print out the Notary handbook with any new law and us e it as your bible and source of reference when you are questioned. It will add to your credibility and boost your own confidence when you interact with the public especially an attorney who thinks he is the repository of all knowledge and just miraculously knows more than you a licensed Notary.

I have had encounters of the worst kind with Lawyers, Doctors, Real Estate professionals and even other Notaries who have repeatedly challenged me and when they did not like what I had to say took to the internet and unfairly left me and my company bad reviews spewing the most vituperative and vile stuff. I responded in a cool and calm manner on why the reviews were without basis and let the readers decide for themselves.

Here are a few examples of things you are asked to do that you should not do under any circumstances if you want to be a trusted Notary and keep being an advocate of best notary practices.:

1. A Doctor wants you to put your seal on the photo when the Notary Laws prohibit you from doing so.
2. The name on the document does not match the name on the ID
3. An Attorney does not want you to even glance through the document to check if it is complete complaining that it is an invasion of his client’s privacy.

You are licensed and knowledgeable. Don’t let people push you around. Enjoy what you do and help people in the process.

.

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The one Notary that used the embosser was the one Notary that…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19650

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Notary Psychic Tarot Card Reading

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 8:18 am

A Notary went to see a Notary Psychic to learn how to do his job better and see what was in store for him. Here is what happened…

NOTARY: Hello. I want to know my future.

CLARA: Spoiler alert: You die.

NOTARY: My nearer future!

CLARA: I predict you are willing to pay $50 cash for this information.

NOTARY: Umm…. I’ll have to pay in you ones because I was planning on going to a strip club and then changed my mind at the last minute.

CLARA: Don’t expect me to give you a lap dance. I’ll reciprocate by stripping off the veil to your future.

NOTARY: Actually I think it’s more like a burka, but that’s fine. So, will I get many Notary clients?

CLARA: Hold on, I am looking into crystal ball. Actually I do not need ball for this one. You must to spend a few hundred to get top spot on 123notary in your local area plus have amazing notes section and many reviews from satisfied clients who tipped you with one dollar bills.

NOTARY: Okay, writing this down… Can you tell me what will happen to me this week?

CLARA: Okay, I use Notary tarot cards… Hold on… I must meditate on this. Okay… this first card has an upside down Notary seal. It indicates that something dubious will happen. Keep eyes open for fake ID from client, especially if he’s teenager asking you to buy him booze. Or is Russian client and I have many of those. But, if you have Russian client refer them to me — they spend mint on psychics.

NOTARY: Interesting. How did you get your name?

CLARA: I am Clara because I am Clara-Voyant.

NOTARY: I should have known. Then again, I’m not clairvoyant.

CLARA: I knew that. Now I get Notary Gypsy card. Notary Gypsy sees future and past, but cannot make sense of the present. This means you will be confused at present-day Notary job, who you did good work for in the past, but will give the client great advice for their future.

NOTARY: I had a client like that last week. As for my clients in the present, too confusing. What about next month?

CLARA: Let’s see. Oh… I got the commission expiration card. That means something in your career will end, but something new will begin. Maybe you’ll stop using SnapDocs and pass the 123notary certification test that you have been procrastinating about for the last several months.

NOTARY: Oh yeah, I keep procrastinating about meaning to do that. Can you look in your ball too?

CLARA: Yes. I think Coca-Cola stock will go up 2 points next week, but it’s not like I have a crystal ball… ooops, actually I do have a crystal ball — forgot! Okay, I am seeing an ancestor of yours who was a Notary in Slovakia. He wishes to guide you in your career. Ooops, it’s actually someone else’s ancestor. Damn this cheap crystal. That’s the last time I bid for a used crystal on ebay! Okay, I use my old crystal from Russia, it’s cracked, but Gypsies use it for generations. Just never mind crack on left. Okay! You will sign a Power of Attorney.

NOTARY: Duh, you don’t have to be a psychic to know that!

CLARA: I predicted you’d say that. You were a Notary in a past life in Japan. It’s the last time someone bowed to you… Wait… Wait… I’m seeing something else. You worked for the court of the emperor and pleased him. He made you to very high position. It is your destiny to rise to high position in this life too as a result of past life karma.

NOTARY: Oh! What kind of high position will I get?

CLARA: Hold on… I am seeing Attorneys… Yes… Attorneys with lots of money… and lots of power.. Wait a second, isn’t that what I just said. Power of Attorney.

NOTARY: No, you said Power of Attorney, but now you are saying Powerful Attorneys.

CLARA: What is difference?

NOTARY: Let me use your tarot card deck. Oh, what a surprise. I got the Notary card with a seal stamping a document that says, “It’s time to learn English, honey!”

.

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My bad karma from testing people by phone
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19447

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