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February 3, 2011

Modern Family: An Affidavit of Citizenship & Affidavit of Domicile Notarized

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , , — admin @ 8:51 am

GLORIA: Jay, you know what I have a craving for? And before I answer that, get your mind out of the gutter.

JAY: Not everything I think about is in the gutter, especially when you ask me to do chores like cleaning the gutter.

GLORIA: I was thinking, I would be nice if invite everybody to have dinner with us?

JAY: Well, what would we cook?

GLORIA: No, I don’t want to cook. I want to go and introduce everybody to my culture.

JAY: I think you’re doing a good job of that already. Remember when Jesse knocked on our door last night at 10:15 and you answered the door waving a machete at him?

GLORIA: Well, it was after 10pm, and you can never be too careful! But, I want to invite everyone to go with us to a restaurant from my country.

JAY: Last time we went to one of those places, the food kept repeating on me.

GLORIA: That is because you are not used to it. I have been living in your country for years, and I feel like I am drowning in your culture. I would just like that for two hours, we immerse ourselves in my culture.

JAY: Honey, they way you are built, you can’t possibly drown.

GLORIA: Ah-ha-ha, very funny. So, when can we invite everybody?

JAY: Well, don’t we have to pick a restaurant first?

GLORIA: There is one problem with that. All of the Columbian restaurants that I really like are back in my country.

JAY: Well, we’re going to have to find something a little closer than that. How about Acapulco?

GLORIA: You are right. Acaupulco is much closer than Bogota.

JAY: No, not the city, the restaurant. They’re the most famous Latin restaurant in town.

GLORIA: You’ve been married to me for all these years and you don’t know the difference between Mexican food and Columbian food?

JAY: I didn’t know there was going to be a test. But, honestly, I need to get a few documents notarized before I do anything else.

GLORIA: Oh, come on. When was the last time we did anything fun?

JAY: Okay, you can pick a restaurant and invite people. In the mean time, I’ll get those documents ready.

GLORIA: Can you get one neutarized for me too? My Affidavit of Citizenship?

JAY: I don’t think that even a document can feel neutered around you. You can come with me. But, you have to personally appear before the notary.

GLORIA: Why does everything have to be so personal. Can’t you appear on my behalf neutered?

JAY: Just invite everybody and we’ll go to the Notary in an hour. Just make sure you have your document and your ID. My Attorney drafted it for you, right?

GLORIA: I think I have it, but I don’t understand it.

JAY: I told you he was a good lawyer! Even I don’t understand half of what he writes!

(meanwhile — Gloria decides on a restaurant based on where she has been with a few friends in the past)

GLORIA: (calls Eric & Jesse) Hi, Eric. I am inviting everyone to have food from my country tomorrow night. Would you and Eric like to come? We would meet at our house, and squeeze into one SUV.

ERIC: I would love to. I love trying food from other countries. It’s so exciting, but I’m not sure we’ll all fit in your car.

GLORIA: Oh, don’t worry about it. That adds to the experience, because that’s how we travel in my country.

ERIC: Well, that might work if I brought my clown outfit.

GLORIA: Okay, thanks. I have to call Claire and Phil now.

(ring ring)

CLAIRE: Hello?

GLORIA: Oh hi Claire. We wanted to invite everybody to go out to Columbian food with us tomorrow night. Do you think that would work?

CLAIRE: Sounds like a possibility. Let me run it by Phil. I’ll call him at the office and let you know.

GLORIA: But, let me know in the next two hours, because we need to know how many people are coming.

CLAIRE: (calling Phil) Honey, how would you like to go to a Columbian restaurant tomorrow with the gang?

PHIL: Ooh, that sounds like a lot of something I want to get out of.

CLAIRE: I’ll tell her we’re busy.

(Claire leaves a message for Gloria to let her know that they’ll be busy.)

GLORIA: Okay Honey, I found my Affidavit, and my ID and I’m ready to be neutered!

JAY: You neuter a cat, you notarize a document.

GLORIA: Don’t be silly, the cat would be licking that Notary seal the whole time.

JAY: Unfortunately, his website says that he leaves at 4:45, and we don’t have time to get there today. We can either call a mobile notary that we found on 123notary.com. They charge an arm and a leg. Or, we can go tomorrow afternoon.

(The next day — Jay & Gloria arrive at the Notary office. But, there is an unexpected delay, because there are several people lined up to see the Notary. After ten minutes, the door opens, and Claire walks out.)

GLORIA: Oh hi Claire. I didn’t know you weren’t a citizen.

CLAIRE: What are you talking about? We’re having a permission to travel slip notarized for our daughter to go to Acapulco.

GLORIA: Funny you should mention that because I asked Jay permission to go anywhere but Acapulco.

JESSE & ERIC: Well look whose here! We just got our Affidavit of Domicile notarized!

JAY: We weren’t expecting to see you here. The line for the notary was longer than the line to the woman’s bathroom.

GLORIA: Funny you should notice that!

ERIC: These days, with the ambiguousness of the gender symbols on the bathroom doors, who can tell which is which?

GLORIA: So, are we all ready for a wonderful dinner? We’ll drive you all.

JESSE: (to Eric) What did you get us into?

ERIC: Well, up until now, you always enjoyed being in tight places.

JESSE: (whispering in an agitated voice) Where is she taking us?

ERIC: (softly in a positive excited voice) She’s taking us to have Colombian food!

JESSE: I can’t eat that. Especially in a public place where people might notice if I …. where people without colds have enhanced olfactory senses… hmmm?

ERIC: I’m getting the picture. So, just have a salad. This is a big night for Gloria.

CLAIRE: Didn’t you get our message? We have other plans tonight.

GLORIA: Oh that is too bad. We’ve been looking forward to this for such a long time.

PHIL: I guess we could go. That scrabble game we planned can wait.

GLORIA: Oh good. Meet us at our house at 6pm sharp.

(All six of them squeeze in the SUV. Eric & Jay in the front, and everyone else in back.)

JESSE: Gee, I haven’t been paying attention for the last fifteen minutes. But, by chance, would we happen to be in South Central right now?

JAY: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at Acapulco anymore. Don’t worry, it’s right off the highway and has secured parking. At least that’s what their website says.

CLAIRE: You mean you’ve never been there before? I tend to lose my appetite when I’m fearing for my life. This is one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the entire city!

GLORIA: In my country, this would be the good part of town.

JESSE: I really feel like we are in danger here.

GLORIA: Oh don’t worry, if anything happens, I have my machete.

JAY: And she knows how to use it! Hey, the restaurant is not where Google maps says it is. We’re lost!

GLORIA: I’ll just ask those guys over there? Pull over!!! (to guys) Hey guys, do you know where Casa Medellin is? I was there four months ago, and it isn’t here any more.

NEIGHBORHOOD GUYS: Hi bonita. Que quiere? (Translation: Hi beautiful, what do you need)

JESSE: (Elbows eric & whispers) There are eight of them, they’re all huge, have neck tattoos, and they look like they are in MS 13, the Salvadorean gang.

ERIC: No dummy, these are the guys who took out MS 13.

CLAIRE: I think I got the wrong document notarized. It should have been my Will.

GLORIA: Hola guapo. Donde esta Casa Medellin? Es circa de aqui? (Translation: Hi handsome, where is Casa Medellin?)

NEIGHBORHOOD GUYS: They moved. (making a hand gesture of cutting his throat)

JAY: Oh good!

GLORIA: Where did they move to?

NEIGHBORHOOD GUYS: Oh, just two blocks up and around the corner.

GLORIA: Oh, that’s really close. Thank you…

(During dessert)

GLORIA: (Toasting) Thank you everybody. This was the best meal I ever had, and with the best people I’ve ever known. Thank you for making me feel so at home. I feel so at home in this type of environment.

FRIENDS: Home! Great idea.

.

You might also like:

Affidavit of Support and direct communication with the signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7084

Notarizing your foreign language document!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2768

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February 1, 2011

How to get paid by out of biz signing companies!

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Popular on Linked In,Tips for Getting Paid — Tags: , , — admin @ 8:55 am

Many notaries ask us how they can get paid by signing companies. Dealing with signing companies can be tricky. But, there are some basic rules of thumb you need to understand.

(1) You need to screen companies before you work for them.
That way you avoid the really bad ones and cut your losses. No notary gets paid 100% of the time, but if you avoid bad companies, you will raise your percentage for how often you get paid. Notary Rotary and 123notary have excellent resources in our lists of signing companies and the forum. You can read the gossip about hundreds of companies before you get involved. Stick you toe in before you jump if you don’t want to get in trouble!

(2) Don’t give too much credit to companies
Notaries get in trouble when they let a company rack up a huge bill. You need to keep track of the payment regularity for each company who you work for. If someone is delinquent on even one payment, don’t work for them until they clear that up. You need to keep your personal records for all signing companies on your person at all times just in case they call offering you work. I wouldn’t offer more than $400 credit to companies with a good rating on our list of signing companies. Don’t offer more than $200 credit to others who are either not ranked, or have mediocre rankings. If they want more work from you, they can paypal you funds up front or pay faster. No money, no honey!

(3) Visit our resources page.
There is a “how to make sure you get paid” page in our resources page. In that page there is a letter from hell which is a template for a demand letter. It works most of the time. But, if the company is out of business, even our demand letter might not work. Don’t get strung along to that point. Settle your finances quickly so that you don’t end up with a company owing you $3000 who is out of business. Keep track, and stay out of trouble.
http://www.123notary.com/notary-public.asp

(4) Your attitude makes a big difference
When I talk to notaries who have trouble getting paid, I notice a few things. First of all, all notaries have trouble getting paid from time to time. But, if a company is low on funds and can only pay a few of the notaries they owe money to, they will pay the ones they intend on using in the future. If you are a bad notary, or are a headache to deal with, you are LESS likely to get paid. Keep that in mind. Be pleasant and professional. One guy who didn’t get paid interrupted me each sentence. I couldn’t finish my thought without being interrupted. No wonder he didn’t get paid. The signing company must have gotten complaints about him. That is not a legitimate excuse not to pay him, but signing companies typically don’t care about what is legitimate or not! They do what they feel like.

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January 31, 2011

Jeremy’s visit to hell

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:08 am

I asked my guru if I could see heaven.
He said that a person’s spiritual condition dictates whether or not they can be let into heaven. After 25 years of meditation, that is not enough. So, for the rest of you who do not engage in regular tything and devoted prayer multiple times a day, heaven is definitely out of the question. But, you will likely end up in Notary Purgatory where your commission will never expire. I wanted to see the mansions, the halls of records, or at least something that looks like heaven. Sylvia Brown and Jesus hyped the place up and got me all curious. Hmm.

Is there Starbucks in heaven?
If I could live in heaven I would want a mansion to share with some nice people in a huge network of gardens where I could get my divine Starbucks without getting in a car. I would want lots of hiking and things to do. My last request for heaven would be Notaries who administer Oaths, and administer them correctly. However, in heaven, people are honest which defeats the whole purpose of having Notaries in the first place. Hmm once again.

The evil spirits
An angel named Michael recruited me and taught me how to fight evil spirits. Every time I go to Arizona, the evil spirits harass me and do damage to my psychological state, my nervous system, and try to intimidate me as well using their methods. Unfortunately I am able to sense these evil entities and have been since about 2005. The evil spirits did some temporary brain damage to me in 2009 which resulted in severe paranoia, but did not affect my work. In 2016 I started receiving training on how to fight evil spirits. Since I am able to see when nobody else can that is 80% of the battle right there. It is called astral vision (look it up in your astral dictionary.) In late 2017 after a trip to central Eastern Arizona which is littered with BBQ joints and evil spirits who would love to make burnt ends out of me, I was marked. Being marked by evil spirits involves them dumping a bucket of astral matter on your head and body. This subtle matter makes you visible to spirits from far away like a homing beacon. These spirits would otherwise not notice me. In any case, I was being bombarded with spirits night and day. I was waking up in the middle of the night in terror. It is hard to fight back when you are so out of it that you see blurry and are not at all on the ball. In any case, the angels decided that the attacks were good for my learning to fight back, but they would end this by disguising me astrally which worked for the most part. But, before I was disguised, the angels had to escort me to a place that I had never been.

Hell
Hell is a place that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists all believe in. Their ideas about hell might vary, and Buddhists believe in multiple heavens and hells. I think that the Buddhist version is still overly simplified as humans don’t really know how many realms of existence there are in the astral plains.

In any case, I was expecting to see the bosses of corrupt signing companies having a party with all the money they saved from not paying people. This was not the case. There must be a separate hell for them. In any case, during my sleep, some angels decided that I needed a quick visit to hell. So, I went in my spirit body and descended down by floating while being escorted by the protection of angels. Here is what I saw.

There were 50 foot tall conical trellises that got wider as they got higher. These conical structures were made of poles that were covered with embers and littered with human souls that were confined to this inferno. The trellises were open on the top and you could float in, but attached to the ember ridden ground at the bottom. The ground was covered with reddish-black embers and hills as far as I could see into the horizon.

The purpose of the visit was to get “marked” with some of the astral smell or vibration by the boss of the evil spirits who were bothering me. This boss lived on the other side in hell, but had command of spirits on earth. Sounds scary. It is similar to gang bosses who are in jail yet call the shots as to who gets hit.

Afterwards
After I woke up the following morning I had to call the psychic to figure out what had happened and the angels explained it to me. Being marked with a subtle impression of the most evil entities sent a message out to the other evil spirits not to mess with me. It’s a little like wearing gang colors, or spending enough time in a bad neighborhood until you have their vibration and callousness. The spirits bothered me a lot less after my visit to hell which was only about half a minute. I have not been back since, and hope I never see the place again. Since them, the angels tried a much more reliable strategy of shielding me from the evil spirits by cloaking me astrally which was 99% effective (until I visited Riverside, CA for Mexican food.)

My message to Notaries is that heaven and hell are real. you might never see them in your physical incarnations, but they exist. And if you don’t do a good job as a Notary you might end up in Notary hell where demons burn you alive every day for all the sins you committed as Notaries Public. I’m not sure what happens to bad Secretaries of State who let Notaries run wild doing illegal things, but they might join you in Notary Hell.

.

You might also like:

Notary Hell… “Yeah, but its’ a dry heat.”

Notary Hell – “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat”

Compilation of posts about Notary heaven, hell and purgatory

Notary comedy articles about Heaven & Hell

What are Jeremy’s favorite Blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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January 30, 2011

Decline Profitable Junk Work

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 10:52 am

Decline Profitable Junk Work
Some may feel “work is work” and take all they can get. Mobile notaries are not hobbyists; we do the work for the money. Some are able to charge more, for the same work, some less. Without a scheduling conflict, we want to “book” that work. Of course it has to be legal. But not all legal work is useful to our callers. Sometimes we know the end product, though legal, will be junk.

Case in point to illustrate: my late night caller has an emergency. They have an appointment with the Immigration folks in downtown Manhattan at Federal Plaza. They just noticed the requirement that their documents must be notarized. Routine so far, but a little probing uncovered the real facts. One of the documents is a birth certificate from China. The other is a divorce certificate, also from China. NY State law regarding “vital records” permits me to notarize as long as those types of documents did not originate in NY State. There are slightly different procedures for processing a photocopy; different from processing an original document.

I learn the birth certificate is in the Chinese language, and is original. Some specific wording is required, but it’s perfectly proper to notarize the signature of the person named on the document. But, will it be useful for their intended purpose? Frankly, I really don’t know. I suspect they will have to have the document translated by a licensed translator. The translator’s signature will be notarized, attesting to training and accuracy of translation. Atop that would go the caller’s statement as to being the rightful possessor of the document. But, I’m not sure. I explain this to the caller and suggest they contact the authorities as to specific requirements. I could have accepted the assignment; but I feel they would be walking in with notarized junk without the translation.

The divorce decree was even worse. Again, it was in Chinese; but this time the document was not an original, only a photocopy. Similarly, I could legally notarize the photocopy; again using NY State mandated verbiage for photocopies. But the acceptability for purpose is, IMHO, unlikely.

As practicing professionals we know a lot more about notary law than the general public. We also know a bit about bureaucratic processing requirements. Of course we don’t know “everything” but we should know the limits of our knowledge. When I am sure, or almost sure, the work product will meet the client needs it’s a go. But, as is often the case, I am unsure. When I express my doubts they usually ask “what do you think”. That’s calling for my opinion, or to phrase it a bit more honestly – for me to guess. I don’t like to guess, preferring to refer them to the proper authorities to ask their “how should I proceed” question. Also, answering “how should I proceed” comes very close to “playing lawyer”. That must be totally avoided.

Would it matter if the caller told me they were affluent, and wanted to “try” using my notary work; not caring if it was rejected? Sure, if they, knowing my concerns, wanted to “throw money at the project” – I would be happy to oblige. It has to be their informed decision based on whatever knowledge I can provide as to the likelihood of success. I’ve done many “let’s try it and see what happens” jobs. Rarely do I learn the outcome. I don’t know if my caller was pent house or poor house; nor does it matter to me. Ethical notaries will Decline Profitable Junk Work. But, will allow the client to overrule the notary when clients are making an informed decision.

.

You might also like:

The art of the decline to new notary jobs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15783

The right to decline notarization
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14664

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January 28, 2011

Don’t be intimidated

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 9:18 am

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU AS NOTARIES HEARD THE FOLLOWING?
Don’t be intimidated. Know the laws and stand your ground. Be an empowered Notary!

1. My lawyer said that you don’t need to attach anything. Just sign it and I will get out of your hair.
2. The other Notary I went to did not attach anything to the same document. Why are you?
3. Look, I used to be a Notary. Don’t give me a hard time.
4. I am a Lawyer…I do this for a living. Please don’t question me.
5. Look, if you don’t do it there are a hundred other notaries who will be happy to have my business.

At the end of the day, you need to be confident in the Notary Laws. Take the 123 Notary exam and be listed as an Elite Certified Notary. At the beginning of every year print out the Notary handbook with any new law and us e it as your bible and source of reference when you are questioned. It will add to your credibility and boost your own confidence when you interact with the public especially an attorney who thinks he is the repository of all knowledge and just miraculously knows more than you a licensed Notary.

I have had encounters of the worst kind with Lawyers, Doctors, Real Estate professionals and even other Notaries who have repeatedly challenged me and when they did not like what I had to say took to the internet and unfairly left me and my company bad reviews spewing the most vituperative and vile stuff. I responded in a cool and calm manner on why the reviews were without basis and let the readers decide for themselves.

Here are a few examples of things you are asked to do that you should not do under any circumstances if you want to be a trusted Notary and keep being an advocate of best notary practices.:

1. A Doctor wants you to put your seal on the photo when the Notary Laws prohibit you from doing so.
2. The name on the document does not match the name on the ID
3. An Attorney does not want you to even glance through the document to check if it is complete complaining that it is an invasion of his client’s privacy.

You are licensed and knowledgeable. Don’t let people push you around. Enjoy what you do and help people in the process.

.

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Cross out and initial, or use a fresh form?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19933

The ID says John Smith
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19953

The one Notary that used the embosser was the one Notary that…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19650

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January 27, 2011

Mobile Office: Will it void your warranty?

Filed under: Business Tips,Popular on Twitter 2011 — admin @ 10:30 am

An important upgrade to make to your mobile notary service is having a mobile office, an office in your car. This means, at the very least, having a laser printer wired into the car; for some, it can mean a laptop and a scanner as well. It is expensive to keep going home to get documents printed, and our most successful notaries these days have a mobile office. You can write it off as a business expense (IRS Publication 463), and it will help you save time and make a great impression on the borrowers. We had a forum discussion about having a mobile office in 2010 http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2770 and in 2011:

Blog posts about mobile offices
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=mobile-offices

But, here is some more information to consider.

Recently, GM dealers told a mobile notary that to wire a laser printer into the car will void the warranty. It might cause a power train failure. Wiring in a laptop or a printer could void the power train warranty by altering the engine, and a mobile office is certainly a drain on the power of the vehicle. I assume that is why one of the notaries we spoke to in 2011 described the need for an extra-powerful alternator and battery, and why he puts the laptop on battery only while printing documents.

HOWEVER, another mobile notary who has a Dodge and an extensive mobile office just told us that to avoid the warranty issue, you have to install a second battery and a second alternator– which should actually not cost you more than $150, and does not void the warranty. Get information from a shop that installs car stereos, for example, says the notary who owns a Dodge. You can also google “How to install a mobile office in your car.”

Toyota, however, has said nothing official about such installations voiding the car’s warranty– and another mobile notary just went ahead and installed a printer and laptop through a friend who works on cars. The difference is–his Toyota is out of warranty anyway.

So if your vehicle is still under warranty and you plan on installing a mobile office–check with your dealership or with corporate for the company that makes your vehicle.

Or, you could just get a custom vehicle. Just ogle these new vehicles– made for anyone who wants the ultimate mobile office: http://www.automotto.com/entry/10-cars-that-bring-your-office-to-wheels/

Tweets:
(1) Having a mobile office in your vehicle could cause a power train failure
(2) You need a 2nd battery in your car to handle a mobile office w/o warranty issues

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January 16, 2011

The Right to Decline Notarization

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Technical & Legal — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 10:25 pm

The Right to Decline Notarization
Notary must officiate on request.

The Penal Law (§195.00) provides that an officer before whom an oath or affidavit may be taken is bound to administer the same when requested, and a refusal to do so is a misdemeanor. (People v. Brooks, 1 Den. 457.)

The above is from the handbook of law provided to New York State notaries. Not much “wiggle room” there. I am writing this wondering if I just committed a crime! Of course we decline to notarize when something is “not right”, as we should. However, the issue before me is a request to officiate at the opening of a safe deposit box.

I have never participated in a safe deposit box opening. From what I understand, the notary is present and verifies the contents. It’s often a time consuming procedure. Generally it is a low paying function. I have heard that sometimes the notary is notarizing the statement as to the contents made by a bank officer. Other banks require the notary to make the statement as to the content and, as a notary, stamp and sign. That second procedure is a self notarization and illegal in New York State, and probably most other jurisdictions.

For the sake of discussion; let’s assume the procedure requested is the former, notarization of the statement by the bank officer. That’s certainly legal. The real issue is can mobile notaries legally refuse assignments? It is my understanding that a notary in a place of public accommodation (eg: at a bank) cannot refuse often saying “you must be a client of the bank”, any legal request. However, the mobile notary does not have a walk in location open to the public. Thus, IMHO the “before whom” does not exist; certainly that propinquity is not achieved “over the phone”.

One approach to avoiding unwanted situations is to price them very high. Sure, I’m available for your safe deposit box opening and my fee, with travel, is $500. But, that is a sham; and is sure to put you on the bank’s “do not call” list; possibly precluding an attractive assignment. I did not “high bid” my recent caller. I simply stated that I choose to not accept such assignments. And, that is the heart of the issue. Was declining a proper thing to do?

I have had people, despite my advertising to being a “Mobile Notary”; ring my bell and wish to enter my residence to have their document notarized. All of these have been declined. One or two were irate, and indicated that they would file formal charges against me. If they did, my licensing authorities probably dismissed their protest. I doubt there is any requirement to allow persons into my home, with the exception of Police, Fire, Building Inspectors, etc.

Unfortunately, the real issue remains, in my mind, a bit murky. Can I refuse a valid mobile notary request? If my schedule conflicts, I consider that a valid reason. But, if I am “available” do I have the right to “pick and choose” what mobile notary assignments I accept? We certainly do that all the time with Edocs from lowball disreputable callers. Many notaries do not like to notarize Power of Attorney documents. Many clients tell me their bank refused because Power of Attorney notarizations are “against bank policy”; presumably to avoid potential litigation.

Do we as individual mobile notaries have the right to refuse service to individuals for whatever reasoning we employ? The law cited above appears to require servicing all legal requests. My “not before us” is probably on weak legal grounds; I am not an attorney. How do you respond to requests that you do not wish to accept; especially those from individuals with proper ID, etc.

.

You might also like:

The art of the decline to new notary jobs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15783

Decline profitable junk work
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15495

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January 14, 2011

Don’t ask for a review at the wrong time

Filed under: Popular on Facebook (A little),Reviews — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:14 pm

Notaries are notorious for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Title companies are even worse when sending e-documents is concerned. How can the world keep spinning around on schedule while everybody on earth is so uncoordinated?

When, I lecture Notaries about how they need to ask for reviews, the timing is very important. Some ask too many people at once and then don’t do it again for three years. They’ll have three reviews on the same date that look like they wrote them. Take this advice instead. See how it’s done.

BORROWER: Gee, I love your work. You are the best Notary we’ve ever had!

NOTARY: Really? … I mean, thanks. Nobody has ever said that to me before.. I mean — I get that all the time.

BORROWER: Oh. Well, you explained everything to us nicely, showed up on time, and didn’t discuss politics like that “other” Notary who talked for two hours about how he didn’t like Obama-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. Well, it’s either that or Trump-care, whatever that is. By the way, 123notary has a review feature that’s easy to use. If others see that I have a realistic review or two on my profile, that would help so much. Would you mind writing a quick review for me? I can email you a link to my review page.

BORROWER: Sure, just don’t sell my email to an outsourced service abroad or Trump will tax you. My email is borrower2015@gmail.com

NOTARY: Got it. I will send you an email right now from my i-phone.

BORROWER: I bet Jeb Bush wants to put implants in those i-phones.

NOTARY: Actually, it is Obama who’s Obama-care manifesto of hundreds of pages who discussed implants. The senators didn’t read that part carefully or they probably wouldn’t have voted for it.

BORROWER: Between Trump and Ahmedanijan, I think we’re all doomed.

NOTARY: I agree. I just can’t believe that “other” Notary would bring up these topics at a signing though.

BORROWER: Ooops, just got an email. There it is…. let’s click on the link here. Yes, we just can’t figure out why he would be the one to bring up politics at a signing, especially at a signing where both signers have been registered democrats since we were of voting age — actually, card carrying registered democrats. Why, we wouldn’t vote for a republican if you paid us to, or offered us a break in our tax bracket. Hmmm. Let’s write something in the review. It wants my name, email, and a comment. Okay…

“Sam the Notary was excellent. He showed up on time and explained everything to us. Thank God he wasn’t like that ‘other’ Notary who showed up late and then had the audacity to discuss politics throughout the entire signing. Good God!”

BORROWER: Okay, your review has been published. Just wait for Jeremy to approve the message and it will go live.

NOTARY: How do you know the process?

BORROWER: Well, it’s a long story. You see my psychic whose name is Sam also told us that a Notary would come to our house. Sam the psychic is also a registered democrat by the way and swears by Obama-care. Anyway, he told us the entire procedure. We were just relieved to know that a Notary who was helpful would come to rescue us. I just loved your service. In fact, I love it so much, I wish Obama would create a new system called Notary-care.

NOTARY: Hmm. That sounds good. Like a dental plan. You pay every month, get penalized if you don’t pay, and then you can use a Notary who is on the list of acceptable Notaries, but you have to make a co-payment, and fill out twenty forms. I agree. That would make the world easier, and a better place, not to mention reducing the chance of Notaries getting involved in political discussions with borrowers.

BORROWER: Yes. And you know what’s funny? The Notary before that “other” Notary also had the nerve to discuss politics with us. What is it with these people?

NOTARY: I’m not sure, but I’m going to email Jeremy to add a new field on his database. A new search function where you can choose the political affiliation of the Notary. For you, I really feel you are better off with a democrat who doesn’t discuss politics at the signing.

BORROWER: My sentiments exactly.

COMMENTARY: On the other hand, if the borrower doesn’t praise your Notary work. Don’t bother them asking for a review because it won’t happen!

.

You might also like:

123notary’s comprehensive guide to getting reviews
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16290

5 or 6 reviews doubles your business
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8484

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January 7, 2011

Rich man poor man: Market Yourself to the Wealthy

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 10:24 pm

Rich Man Poor Man

Here is some shocking news – wealthy people have an easier time paying a higher notary fee compared to poor people. Wow! Whatta surprise. Pardon my obvious statement. But I do wonder why so many notaries are struggling with signing service fees – fees paid by little entities with balance sheets that are awash in red ink. Do you have a signing service in your town? Probably not, but you do have many wealthy people whose time is very valuable. Now you know the secret of collecting those higher and much easier to earn fees. Market yourself to the wealthy. It’s that simple. It’s the opposite of going, as a notary to the poorhouse seeking clients. Who are the wealthy? You already know – but might not know just why they need you. Let’s take some time out from the signing rat race, step out of the maze and let me show you the shortcut to the cheese.

I had a fellow who gave me over 17 Apostille assignments for an adoption. He needed various doctor statements to be notarized and receive an Apostille. My fee for each, no discounting; was on the high side for an edoc job. However, the work was much quicker and cleaner. He was a –big shot – stockbroker. He worried about missing an important call and losing a commission that would have been over 6 months of earning – for me. But, not for him; he makes that much money in the course of a 15 minute phone call. I know this for a fact as he told me – while paying me – how he just made several thousand dollars. He even gave me a Franklyn for a tip!

Attorneys often receive Power of Attorney; to sign papers for their clients. The high profile client does not want to hunt for a notary. The Attorney of record, as involved in the transaction cannot notarize the client giving him the power – so an outside notary is needed. Enter the mobile notary, me, to their office. Of course they have others who usually handle this, but sometimes they are on vacation or out sick – I get the call. Doctors, will not go hunting for a notary – they like to have a card on file of a reliable notary who will go to them.

Everyday shopkeepers, who must –mind the store- often have legal documents that must be notarized. The needs vary greatly – the common thread is that their time is worth more than your time. They can pay me XX which is very much worth my while to go to them – and that XX is less than the revenue they would lose by going to find a notary. Clearly, this works best with people whose time is one of their most valuable assets. As a http://newyorkmobilenotarypublic.com I probably have more rich people here in Manhattan compared to most places. But the concept is applicable in your home town too. Give a card to the general manager of the large Big Box stores in the local shopping centers. I sure don’t have many WalMarts in Manhattan. That person is busy, very busy – and is likely to need a notary now and then but do they have your card? That person pays to save time using company money – it’s not out of the managers’ pocket – does that matter to you.

To harp on the point. Seek out the wealthy who have little time to spare and more money to spend. When you run out of wealthy prospects seek out those who can pay using –company money- to save their personal time. Trust me on this – it is very pleasant to work with these people. They are very appreciative of your services, and are willing to pay fair rates. Now compare what I have written above to a discussion with El Cheepo signing as you beg for an additional ten dollars for faxing 50 pages. Are you marketing yourself wisely to the right prospects?

You might also like:

7 ways to use Facebook to market your notary services
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=5396

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January 6, 2011

All in the Family – notarization for a drug test

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 6:27 am

EDITH: Oh Archie, you’re home.

ARCHIE: Yeah Edith I’m home. And I can do without your usual yapping. I just want to sit in my chair, have a beer, and listen to the voices in my head.

EDITH: Is my voice one of them voices?

ARCHIE: If it ever stops yapping I’ll be sure to ask.

EDITH: All right Archie. I’ll get you your beer, and your newspaper.

ARCHIE: Don’t show me the newspaper. It’s just going to be more of those hippies slamming Mr. Richard Milhouse Nixon’s integrity.

EDITH: Integrity? That was in the news? I must have missed that.

ARCHIE: All of those hippy commies and their Mary Jane they keep smoking. I’m telling you Edith. It’s turning this country into a bunch of commie pot-heads. Which is why my boss questioned my unscrutibility by making this WW2 vet take a drug test.

MICHAEL: Arch, you mean inscrutability.

ARCHIE: Inscrutability you!

GLORIA: What’s this about daddy having to take a drug test?

ARCHIE: You heard right little girl. Because your whole generation is flying around high as a kite all the time, my boss is making red blooded Americans like your daddy get neuterized drug tests.

MICHAEL: That’s pretty funny arch. When I think of dope, you are the man!

SALLY: Michael, that’s not nice.

ARCHIE: So, where am I going to find a Noterary Republic?

MICHAEL: Where people find everything instantly these days. The yellow pages.

ARCHIE: Let your fingers do the walking. That’s the only exercise a lazy guy like you gets.

MICHAEL: Oh here’s one that looks good. 123notary. We come to you. Any type of document or loan signing. My psychic said that one day, 123notary would be on this new thing call the world wide web in about twenty-five years.

ARCHIE: Tell your psychic to look into the distant future when you finally find a job.

EDITH: (calling 123notary — ring ring) Hello yes, is this 123notary?

123NOTARY: 123notary, where the peace sign comes to you!

EDITH: Archie, do you want the peace sign to come to us?

ARCHIE: What are you talking about — give me that phone. (talking to 123notary) Is this your 1234notary?

123notary: 123

ARCHIE: Whatever. Am I talking to the Noterary?

123NOTARY: One of them.

ARCHIE: I need a notary to come to 704 Hauser Street. How much do you charge?

123NOTARY: That will be 20 cents per signature plus $4 travel fee.

ARCHIE: $4 travel fee? Rake me over the coals why don’t you. I have a drug test I need notarized.

123NOTARY: Do you have the actual paperwork?

ARCHIE: No, but I’ll get it on Monday.

123NOTARY: We can’t notarize the actual test results, but we can notarize a statement from you regarding the authenticity of the test.

ARCHIE: Yeah, authenticity, whatever.

(Archie goes to the drug test)

NURSE: We just need a blood and urine sample. Could you urinate into this container? Just do your business!

ARCHIE: Aw, couldn’t you be more discreet?

NURSE: Okay. Go tinkle. Is that better?

(2 minutes later)

NURSE: Great. This is a good sample. We’ll let you know your results tomorrow. Just come in anytime after 9am.

(the next day)

ARCHIE: Hi, I need to pick up the drug test results.

NURSE: You realize these results are strictly confidential.

ARCHIE: Tell the whole world, I don’t care. I never touched drugs in my life.

NURSE: (quietly) Your test results show that you have trace amounts of marijuana in your system, but you passed.

ARCHIE: Shh. shh… shhh… Did you grab the wrong cup? How is that even possible?

NURSE: It’s very common to accidentally inhale second hand smoke and it could happen anywhere… at work, at home, or even walking down the street.

ARCHIE: I’ve never been around Mary Jane in my life.

NURSE: Don’t be so soon Mr. Bunker. Drug tests don’t lie!

(an hour later)

123NOTARY: So, you want to sign a statement saying that you never used drugs. And that you don’t know where you accidentally inhaled Marijuana.

ARCHIE: Sure, sure, whatever I need to do to expungulate the record.

123NOTARY: Sign here, and then raise your right hand and repeat after me.

(later that night, Archie confronts Michael and insists that he must have inhaled Michael’s second hand smoke, and then demanded that Michael get a drug test to prove it)

.

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