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January 21, 2011

Big Bang Theory: Notarizing a discovery about string theory

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 11:06 am

RAJ: We have to get our latest discovery notarized.

SHELDON: How can you notarize a discovery?

LEONARD: Well, perhaps we should patent it at least. To be on the safe side.

RAJ: Yeah, there are people out there who steal inventions all the time.

SHELDON: Our’s hasn’t even been thoroughly tested. And it is so complicated that even we don’t understand it. So, how is a patent thief supposed to understand it?

RAJ: I was so paranoid I didn’t think that part over. But, our “lost electron syndrome” discovery is so critical, maybe to be safe.

PENNY: Oh, I’m sure your electron will show up somewhere. They always do.

SHELDON: Penny, I don’t know if you realize how important our discovery is. We’ve been reading for decades about how Newtonian Physics has been questioned, and how matter can really be created and destroyed. However, very few physicists have actually seen actual matter disappear, especially under the circumstances that we did. We added emotion to our physics experiment. We played happy music and started dancing around the room all joyfully. And an electron disappeared. I counted them — I know.

PENNY: You counted electrons? I should try that!

RAJ: Yeah, I think she should. It’s a good idea. I do that sometimes when I’m bored, or want to practice my powers of observation. I’m calling the Notary… (ring ring)

NOTARY: Arnie’s Notary, Arnie speaking, may I help you?

RAJ: Hello Arnie. You see, we have this discovery we need notarized. How do we exactly get this done?

NOTARY: You need a statement and an ID. The statement is up to you. It must be written up, and include the name of the signer in it if you require an Acknowledged signature. Or you can do a sworn Oath with a Jurat statement. It’s up to you.

RAJ: Either way. I’ll type one up now.

(10 minutes later)

RAJ: Hello Mr. Arnie. Yes, I typed up the document about the discovery. I would like us all to sign it, so I included all of our three names in the text of the document and also in the signature area. And, yes, we all have ID’s, although we seem to be missing an electron.

NOTARY: Oh, no wonder. The funniest thing happened to me yesterday. After a busy day of notarizing, I was watching TV, and you’d never believe what happened?

RAJ: So tell me?

NOTARY: An electron just showed up out of nowhere.

RAJ: Nowhere? An electron. Hold on. Let me get Sheldon. He says he was watching TV and an electron appeared out of nowhere.

SHELDON: Well, do you think it was our electron?

RAJ: How can you tell one electron from another?

NOTARY: Well, I asked the electron for identication just like I do with everyone else. But, it just whizzed around. To me they all look the same.

LEON: Fascinating. That might be our electron.

RAJ: Maybe we should put up a flyer in the halls saying, “Lost electron. Reward if found.”

NOTARY: Before you do that, I’ll be down at your lab to notarize your statement. $30 travel fee and $10 per signature. Cash only! Pay the travel fee up front just in case your ID’s are missing just like your marble.. I mean your electrons.

SHELDON: Oh, one more thing. We’ll have to put you in a bio-hazard suit before entering the lab.

NOTARY: My fee schedule specifically mentions that I charge $5 extra for each time I put on a bio-hazard outfit, but removal is at no cost as a courtesy to the client.

SHELDON: Deal.

PENNY: Oh, this is so exciting. Can I put on a bio-hazard suit too?

LEON: I don’t think they come in matching colors.

PENNY: Then never mind.

.

You might also like:

Big Bang Theory: Feeling in control Notarizing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15150

The Middle: Sue calls a Notary about an Occupancy Affidavit
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=the-middle

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January 13, 2011

The journals with check boxes? What does Jeremy say?

Filed under: Journals — admin @ 11:27 pm

Don’t use it!
Any time you check a box rather than writing something in by hand, you are risking making a mistake. You are dealing with legal documents here. Being a Notary is not the same as working for the circus. The consequences for a mistake could end you up in court.

Additionally, many document names have variations. If you check the box for an Errors and Omissions document where the real name is Errors and Omissions Compliance Agreement, you did not reference the correct document.

The more serious problem with check boxes is that many Notaries feel that the laws affecting proper journal filling procedure suddently change the minute you use the check box journal. Many Notaries feel you no longer have to obey the one document per entry law or principle. Not true! The principle is still the same. The signer or borrower has to sign for each journal entry and for each document in a separate journal entry — no exceptions and don’t cry about how much longer it will take you. You are Notaries, not clowns!

My suggestion is to use the regular NNA soft cover Official Journal of Notarial Acts. It is good for any type of Notary act, has room for a thumbprint, notes about the signer, room for credible witnesses, etc. It was all I ever needed and I went through about six dozen in my career.

I first saw a real journal with check boxes recently when Carmen showed me hers. She fills hers out by hand instead of checking boxes by the way (which is correct). However, the journal doesn’t mention that many choices of documents (only about 18) so if yours is a variation on a name of a document or not on the list you still need to write it by hand. The check boxes only encourage bad bookkeeping. So, no more check boxes. We don’t like it. It is not professional, safe or a good practice!

.

You might also like:

Notary Public 101 – Journals
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19511

Do Notary Journals need to be kept under lock and key?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2461

What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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January 11, 2011

Scribbles: A Notary Comedy Club

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 12:09 am

Improv; or could be like a class; hecklers

HOST: To get a spot at the Notary comedy club you have to sign up to do a spot and have a Notary witness your signature!

JOHNNIE: Well, do you have a witness protection program?

SALLY: Why, did you witness the wrong Will and get into trouble?

JOHNNIE: I was just thinking. What if an evil son of a Billionaire, had an older guy forge the signature of his father at a Will signing, and you were the witness? You might be oblivious to the entire situation until the rest of the family comes after you. Then, you’ll need a witness protection program.

SALLY: Oh, so you’re not joking. I thought this was a comedy club!

HECKLER: That’s not funny, you should be entered into the witless protection program.

HOST: Welcome to Scribbles, how’s everyone doing? I can attest to the fact that you are going to have a great time tonight, but don’t make me swear under Oath by it. At Scribbles, you won’t see us kill a joke, but we will execute a document! This next performer has won approval in Notary comedy clubs across the country.

SALLY: Hi, my name is Sally. I am proud to say that I come pre-approved, but they claim that they still need to run my credit. And I pre-disapprove of that. I strongly believe in the concept of joke recycling. You know, my seal doesn’t have an expiration date, it just says, “better if used by Feb 17th, 2014.”

HECKLER: Hey I heard that before!

SALLY: Yes, that is because I recycled that joke. I think it’s such a shame to let a perfectly good joke end up in the trash when you could recycle or reuse it. That makes such a difference for the environment, at least in comedic circles. There’s just one thing. How come nobody recycles my jokes?

HECKLER: Because your jokes aren’t funny!

JAKE: Hi, I’m Jake. I’m also a Notarial comic. Hey you in the front.

GUY IN FRONT: Who me?

JAKE: Yeah you! Is that an Affidavit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

GUY IN FRONT: It must be an Affidavit because I’m not happy to see you!

JAKE: Hey, I’m not exactly doing cartwheels looking at your ugly face either, buddy! Speaking of barely credible witnesses, I had a signing company tell me that they would be paying me on Tuesday the 29th. Unfortunately, when I looked at my calendar this year, there is no February 29th.

This a great crowd! So, has anyone done any good Oaths recently?

GUY IN FRONT: Funny you should mention that.

HECKLER: That’s the first time he was funny all night!

GUY IN FRONT: I have a lot of Vietnamese clients. You know if you have a guy name Tan, you can say Tan the man. But, I recently had a client named Tran the Dan/Ann who was swearing that he was a man.

HECKLER: Well, I bet Tran was happy to see you.

HOST: It’s time for our next Notary who will think he’s not getting any respect unless you fulfill your 2 drink minimum.

RODNEY: You know, I think you should change that to a two Jurat minimum. A Jurat sounds a lot more credible than a drink, plus you can’t spill it no matter how hard you try. I just went to a Notary comedy club where they don’t charge a fixed fee at the door, but they charge by the laugh. $2 per laugh with a five laugh minimum. Putting laugh minimums aside, I just did a Notary act that didn’t get me any respect. No respect at all! An 80 year old woman asked me to do a Deed… It was the dirty Deed!

AUDIENCE: Ewwwww!

RODNEY: I just did a loan signing that doesn’t get me any respect. The credible witnesses didn’t look believable, the signer was two hours late, and the hostess didn’t offer me any cool-aid. Then the signer’s kid told me he couldn’t wait until my commission expired. What a family! No respect. No respect at all!

My wife’s idea of a civil action is telling me that I’m only “kind of” ugly!

I had to put my last property into Escrow. It wasn’t until the next day that Title’s in my wife’s name… as she calls herself, my much better half. And all these years I thought she had Subpoena envy.

HOST: Thanks a bunch. You’ve been a great crowd. Next week, make sure to attend our all you can laugh comedy buffet.

.

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Notaries in Cuba — the clock stops in this comedy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16115

Jeremy’s bucket list
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7035

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January 10, 2011

Notary Cheers Part 2: Sammy gets a name change notarized

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , — admin @ 7:12 am

Please read the part 1 of this blog entry so you are aware of the context. Sam has to run to the county clerk to get his name change form, so that he can check into a hotel room anonymously with his girlfriend without a paper trail leading back to him. Diane needs to have an Oath for Carla stating that she will stay out of Carla’s hair in exchange for a shift switch.

DIANE: Sam, where are you going?

SAM: I’m running late. I need to get to the County Clerk’s office and get back here for my next shift.

DIANE: Just eat something and run over there. It’s only a fifteen minute walk. And it’s sunny today.

CARLA: Yeah, it’s sunny now. But, it’ll be a lot sunnier if certain people swear they’ll stay out of my hair, and get that Oath notarized.

CLIFF: (snickering under his breath) Who wouldn’t want to stay out of that Brillo Pad?

CARLA: (yanking on Cliff’s hair, causing him to wince) At least my hair isn’t about to be yanked out!

DIANE: Can’t you two save your antics for the playground?

CARLA: Relax. I’m not about to let your hair fall out. The bleach you’re overusing beat me to it.

DIANE: It’s not bleach. It’s the sun! Sam, I will get the Oath notarized at 8pm tonight. Scout’s honor! (raising her right hand)

SAM: Better not swear to the Notary it’s the sun. (Gang, except for Diane, chuckles) Gotta go.

Sam walks down to the County Clerk. The line isn’t that bad. Finally, it’s his turn.

CLERK: Purpose of ya’ visit sir?

SAM: I’m gonna need a name change form.

CLERK: Are ya’ sure you wanna change ya’ name? “Sam” sounds pretty good to me. Why ah’ you doin’ this?

SAM: I need to check into a hotel with my new girlfriend, but she’s married, and… I don’t want a paper trail leading back to me. It’s a long story.

CLERK: This never came from me — and I’m not recommendin’ it neitha’, but the easiest way to sneak around isn’t to change your name. It’s to get a fake ID.

SAM: A fake ID?

CLERK: Shhhh. I’m supposed to have ethics, so I can’t recommend doin’ that, but if you change ya’ name, there ah’ strings attached. A fake ID might get you in a little trouble, but you ahn’t hurting anyone, so the cops will go easy on you.

SAM: Can I change my name back if the relationship doesn’t work out?

CLERK: I’m known in town as the most helpful guy eva’ to work in a gova’ment office. I’ll tell ya’ one thing. You can do name variations too. Fa’ loan documents, they have a signature affidavit and AKA statement where you list all the names you’ve been known by in the past. You could get a name variation, and have an ID that represents one of ya’ names.

SAM: Wow. And I thought counting the notches on my bedpost was complicated. But I think I’m catching on. I like this. So, um, how do I do a variation?

CLERK: Here’s a form. By havin’ this form, you can get a second state issued ID, not a driver’s license but a state ID. It’s all legal ya’ see. That document is all ya’ need. For an alias, address, legally, you will need to open a post office box. But, the box would be traceable to your current name. Get the form notarized, then get the mail box, and then get ya’ ID — in that order, otha’wise you’ll screw the whole thing up!

SAM: I like that. Thanks a bunch. You saved my life and my relationship.

CLERK: What number notch will that be?

SAM: I can’t count that high.

Back at Cheers…

DIANE: I’m done typing up my official Oath. I, Diane Chambers of sound mind and body, residing at 54 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108, solemnly swear that I will not get in Carla’s proverbial hair. I will not bother her, harass her, nor will I nag her for any light and transient reasons, or even serious reasons for that matter. I included room for a signature, a date, and notarial verbiage.

CLIFF: I think there’s one thing you forgot, there Diane. You’re swearing never to bother her again for the rest of your life. That’s kind of a long time. After all, you’re still kind of a spring chicken.

DIANE: Thank you, Cliff. I think.

CARLA: Since when do spring chickens have barely visible breasts?

SAM: I’m back and I’m about to fill out the name variation document. Oh, and Carla, Diane happens to be very sensitive about her age — so mum’s the word.

WOODY: Mum’s the word, Sam? That’s what I call my mom, and she’s way older than Miss Chambers.

DIANE: You heard Woody, Sam. Pick another word.

SAM: How’s about “ageless”?

DIANE: No, Sam! That’s how they refer to people who already are old!

SAM: Okay, I’ll stick with “annoying.”

EVERYBODY: Norm!!!

WOODY: How’s it hangin’, Mr. Peterson?

NORM: According to Vera, it’s “barely.” Hey, Sammy, did you get that paperwork?

SAM: It’s all complete! And soon to be notarized!

NOTARY: I’m going to need a beer. Sorry I’m late. I kept looking for the bar where everybody knows my name.

DIANE: And we’re always glad you came.

CARLA: Please, don’t start singing.

DIANE: Here is my Oath verbiage — verbatum!

NOTARY: There’s nothing I love more than a prepared customer except for two things.

SAM: That high I can count. What?

NOTARY: A beautiful woman, and a cold one, but not necessarily in that order.

CARLA: (slamming Diane) Don’t you mean one thing?

CLIFF: Isn’t it, uh, illegal to notarize under the influence? It’s a little known fact that in ‘62 a notary who had a taste of the sauce mistakenly notarized JFK’s letter to Marilyn Manson instead of Marilyn Monroe.

NOTARY: It’s only illegal if your signer is intoxicated. You can be drunk, although it is highly discouraged in the Notary community. There is no law against it. The signer has to be of sound mind to be notarized, otherwise they might sign all their money away to a con-man, or worse.

CARLA: What could be worse than that?

NOTARY: They might sign their money over to their greedy family. It happened to me once notarizing an elderly lady who was in a hospital. They drugged her right before the signing. I had to go to court on that one and testify that she looked a bit out of it although I hadn’t been informed that she’d been medicated. I could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble on that one.

NORM: Good thing you didn’t. But isn’t it true that if you didn’t know the signer was medicated, you’re off the hook even if they seemed like they might have been medicated but didn’t make it too obvious?

NOTARY: (To Woody) One Sam Adams please. In these hospital signings, you can never be too careful. Even if you’re off the hook, that day you spend in court is enough to frazzle even the most diligent of notaries!

WOODY: See, that’s where you and I are different. I can be too careful. Like when I was too careful about not stepping on a crack that could break my mum’s back.

CLIFF: What happened, Woody?

WOODY: I accidentally stepped on her toe instead.

SAM: If I were a Notary, I’d look them over from head to toe. Make sure they seem “sound” to me.

CLIFF: That’s what he does with every female under 35 who waltzes in here. He’s good at that.

NOTARY: Okay, I feel ready. I’ll finish the other half of my beer after Diane’s docs. I’ll put the beer to the right — no breathing on it, and your docs to the left. Let’s see if the table is nice and dry?

DIANE: Oh, I brought a clip-board for that. I don’t want my documents touching that petri dish of a bar.

NOTARY: Can I see your ID ma’am?

DIANE: Oh, here it is.

NOTARY: Hmmm. (loudly) 1947, what? You don’t look a day over 35. How could this be….

CLIFF: The secret’s out! The cat’s out of the bag!

CARLA: So the stick is old enough to run for President! I knew that makeup was covering up your “gravitas.”

DIANE: Hear me now, Carla! And hear me, everyone! I am far too young to be President!

CLIFF: You can run for leader of the free world if you’re 35, Diane.

NORM: Wow, Sammy. Who knew you liked older women?

They all laugh.

DIANE: (to Notary) Some things are supposed to be private! One’s age… hair color…

NOTARY: I’m so sorry.

DIANE: Oh well. (sniffle) At least, we can get this form notarized.

NOTARY: Do you solemnly swear that you agree to the terms in this document, and that you will not get in Carla’s hair?

DIANE: As things happen to currently stand, very “solemnly.” (raising her right hand and looking dismally at the floor) Yes, I do (sniffle)

NORM: I now pronounce you Notary, and wife!

CLIFF: I’ll drink to that!

SAM: What about my form?

NOTARY: Let me have the other half of my beer.

NORM: Now that she said I do, your other half is right there!

DIANE: You know I’m still with Frasier, Norman.

NORM: Don’t worry. We won’t tell him you’re robbing the cradle.

DIANE: In answer to “how’s it hangin’,” “it” is about to be your neck!

NOTARY: Okay, I’m ready for Sam. Bring it over. No spilling drinks on the documents people! I mean that!

SAM: Here it is.

NOTARY: Okay, now for this signature, you sign your name as Sam, but on this next signature, you sign as John Doe. Do you think you can do that?

SAM: I’m not great at remembering names. But, sure, I think I can handle it…

NOTARY: Your notarization is complete Mr. Doe.

SAM: Sweet!!! I’ll tell Veronica!

CLIFF: Just don’t tell her husband your old name. Or your new name’ll be “mud.”

NORM: So, what do we owe you?

DIANE: No, you don’t have to do that.

NORM: It’s the least we can do after the humiliation and grief we’ve caused you.

NOTARY: I’ll tell you what. Another beer, and $30. We’ll call it even.

SAM: I’ve never said this to anyone, but, you’re my kind of Notary.

NOTARY: Do you really mean that?

SAM: I do.

NORM: Now, it’s a threesome! Sammy said, “I do” too!

You might also like:

Part 1 of Notary Cheers: Sammy gets a name change notarized!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

Seinfeld Episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6616

Two and a half notaries: Detering notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

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January 9, 2011

Notary Hotel 2 — the sequel

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 3:08 am

Welcome to The Notary Hotel, for all things notarial.

Customer: “Wow, this hotel is so notarial, even the notepad comes with Jurat wording!”
Reception: “We cater to a very specific market over here.”
Customer: “That is great, but honestly, at one of those other Notary Hotels, there were ink stains on the wash cloth!”
Reception: “Oh, I’m very sorry to hear about that. That must be the hotel on the other side of town that is currently out of commission, right?”
Customer: “That’s the one, but I don’t like to mention names!”
Reception: “I understand”
Customer: “And they were annoying too. Each room had a fax machine, so they could fax the bill to you, and they required three dozen fax backs before they would let you check out!”
Reception: “Sounds like that other notary hotel, or the Notel, as we call it was owned by a signing service.”
Customer: “Tell me about it.”
Reception: “We are notarial, but in a good way over here, well at least we like to think we are. You’ll enjoy our notarial breakfast. You get an embossed waffle. Instead of having the regular grid, you will get a huge impression of a circular embossed notary seal. Instead of an expiration date on the seal, we say — best if consumed before 6-01-2014 — for example.
Customer: “I’m hungry already.

Can you expedite my express-o?
Reception: “Then, you’ll enjoy a cup or two of our signature French roast coffee — but, you don’t have to notarize the signature.”
Customer: “Great, because I don’t feel comfortable with foreign language notarizations.”
Reception: “Oh no, it’s not a French language roast, the coffee is English speaking, and so is the signature.”
Customer: “In that case, that will be fine. I prefer espresso though.”
Reception: “Well, since we are a boutique hotel, we can make espresso upon special request.”
Customer: “Can you expedite my express-o? No pun intended.”
Reception: “And over here, instead of paying by the night, you can stay for a pre-arranged number of days, weeks or months — we call that period of time a commission!”
Customer: “Boy, you guys are just too notarial. Next thing you know, I’ll have to take a proctored test to stay here.”

What type of Notelarization?
Reception: “Well, we test you in other less pronounced ways — to make sure you know what you’re doing. Can you sign the register please, I mean the journal? We like our guests to sign it. We’re a bit old fashioned.”
Customer: “So, where you do you want me to sign it?”
Reception: “That was part of the test. You are the notary, you are supposed to know. You sign in the signature section!”
Customer: “Right… what was I thinking. I’ve been doing this job for twenty years and still have to be reminded! I’ll put the type of Notelarization as well — acknowledged overnight stay.”
Reception: “Super. Let me check your ID, to make sure the name matches the one in the journal. Your ID says, Ralph E Emerson, and you signed Ralph Wemerson? Am I missing something?”
Customer: “Well, over time, my E became sideways and began to look more like a W. You understand, right?”
Reception: “Well, at least it’s not like Wang Zhu Ming from China who signed in Chinese characters.”
Customer: “That’s nothing, I had an Egyptian who signed in hieroglyphics once, or at least it looked that way!”

Standards at the Notary Hotel
Reception: “At our Notel, we have standards. If any of the maids fails to abide by the following regulations, their commissions can be suspended, revoked, or terminated.”

(1) Failure to require the guest to sign for their food delivered during room service
(2) Failure to administer an Oath for the late night lasagna Jurat
(3) Failure to honor the 3 minute right to rescind on midnight tacos

Affidavit of Maid Services must be signed at the door. The date and time must be documented as well, along with an indication of the type of maid-torial act. For example, they could acknowledge that they made up the room.

Customer: “It sounds wonderful. This Notel operates for the benefit of the customer. What about late night pay-per-flick. Is there a rescission period for that if I don’t like the movie?”
Reception: “Yes, you can mail, or fax your…”
Customer: “Stop right there, did you say fax? I’m out of here!”
Reception: “No wait… come back…”

You might also like:

Notary Hotel 1
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

Cheers: Sammy gets a name change form notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

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January 8, 2011

Scary results when a notary uses our letter from hell

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Popular on Twitter 2011,Tips for Getting Paid — Tags: , , — admin @ 2:23 am

Scary results when a notary used our letter from hell 

We get complaints from notaries every single day who are not getting paid on time, or not getting paid at all.  Since I care deeply about this situation, I have networked with Carmen (who I work with), and a few other very seasoned notaries to create a system for getting paid which is almost foolproof.  Nothing is perfect, but this system is as good as it gets.
 
Please visit
How to make sure you get paid signing agent  
Our system starts with the notary background checking ALL companies they work for.  Asking for references, and checking the company on the BBB website is a must.  If you already accepted the job, you could cancel if they have a margin of a few hours.  Otherwise, take your chances.  Keeping faxes and work orders in order is critical, and keeping the stub from company checks is a life and death issue. This is all talked about in detail on the how to make sure you get paid page. Notaries need to fax fills regularly with all pertinent information on the fax.  But, if you did everything right and STILL didn’t get paid — there is the template of our demand letter.
 
A notary used our demand letter, and the company threatened her with a LAW SUIT!!!
Oh my gosh!  Is it really true?  Actually, the notary only sent a “watered down” version of our template letter, but the reaction was almost postal…  The notary stated that they repeatedly contacted the company by phone and email, but never got paid for various jobs done. Then, the notary said that they would take the following actions by a particular date if not paid:

a.         Notify the Attorney General of the details and circumstances of the occurrence.
b.         Notify the Secretary of the State of Texas to look into the matter
c.         Notify other notaries public of the details of non-payment.
d.         Register the details of the occurrence with the BBB.
 
The signing company got back to her and said…
 
I feel obligated at this time to inform you that Ck # 15533 for $45 cleared your bank on 7-11-11, presented on 7-8-11 for Account #134554 (for a particular name).  That was less than 13 days after i sent you the email asking you to do the notary job in the (name of town), TX area.  Your email is making libelous or slanderous threats against myself and my company for which you can be sued in civil court  (i.e. notifying others in the industry that I do not pay my bills).  I feel it is now my duty to report you to the Texas Notary Division of Austin for making such threats when I can prove that you were fully paid within 2 weeks of the service provided.  I will be forwarding a copy of this email to them immediately.   It is a shame that you did not do your own research regarding payment of this service, before making such libelous threats…. (name of owner),  (name of business)
 
My opinion
I think the notary should have listed the particular jobs that were not paid for, i.e. the names of the borrowers, loan numbers, addresses, etc. I think that the notary should have kept track of all payments and all of the check numbers of all payments in the past, so that she would know what that check was for, and if it even existed.  It is easy for signing companies to scam notaries by making up fake check numbers. Most notaries don’t keep good enough records to keep track of it all — but you have to — or you might never see your money…

Tweets:
(1) Carmen, a few seasoned notaries & I developed a fool proof method for getting paid every time no matter what!
(2) A notary used our almost foolproof letter from hell to request payment & the company threatened to sue her!
(3) Our scary demand letter threatens to report the late paying signing co to the SOS, Attorney General, DA & more!

You might also like:

Getting what is due! A clever plan!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3221

Protecting yourself with a contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2593

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10 reasons why the State Notary divisions should be nationalized.

Filed under: Public Interest — admin @ 1:23 am

Normally I am in favor of state rights. But, as far as Notary Public issues are concerned, the states are not doing a good job except for California for whom I would give a C. Here are some compelling reasons why the notary divisions should be nationalized.

1. Education
Most states either do not have educational programs for Notaries, or don’t have very good educational programs. The state notary handbooks have a variety of laws and practices, but do not generally spell out exactly how to interpret or apply laws or what to do in particular situations that arise regularly that could cause confusion or danger. Some states have too many laws which make it hard to learn them all. While other states have too few laws. If we would have just the right amount of laws, and those laws would be nationalized, and well taught, there would be a higher percent of highly informed Notaries who do their job correctly at all times which is my goal.

2. Testing
Not all states have a Notary Test. Those that do have a Notary test normally have a multiple choice written test. Testing people on nitpicky legal issues is fine and dandy, but if a Notary cannot fill in a journal or forms correctly then what good are they? Hands on testing and testing people to see how they handle curve-balls such as legal requests that seem illegal or illegal requests that seem legal is absolutely necessary in my opinion.

3. Auditing
Notaries get away with all sorts of mischief in all states. Most Notaries not only omit legally required Oaths, but claim not to understand my instructions when I ask them to give me an Oath on a document. Many Notaries do not keep their journal correctly which is a danger to society. If there is identity theft, the journal is the only means to know what happened at a transaction and the journal thumbprint is the only way the FBI can catch the bad guys in many cases. Notaries nationwide need to be checked up upon once or twice a year to make sure they are not doing anything wrong. For the government to have time to check up on everyone, there needs to be fewer Notaries otherwise the job would take too long.

4. Standardization of Notary Acts
There are many variations on Notary Acts from state to state. It can be confusing for interstate transactions and for people who run nationwide Notary associations. It is easier if there are standardized acts nationwide and standardized laws.

5. Thumbprinting
Many Notaries on 123notary helped the FBI catch some awful criminals who did Ponzi schemes, identity theft and more. It was the thumbprint that was the critical piece of evidence that helped catch the bad guys. Most Notaries outside of CA feel they should not have to take thumbprints. Having national laws requiring thumbprints is the only way to safeguard society from cons.

6. Quality Standards
Before a prospective Notary takes a course, they should take a quick IQ test and personality test to see if they are well adjusted to be a Notary Public. Someone with an IQ of 100-120 who is anal, picky, has tremendous integrity, and follows the law to the letter and fills out forms correctly every time would be the ideal candidate to be a Notary. People who have screws loose are dangerous as Notaries because they will accept illegal requests becuase they can’t keep the law straight in their head. I find this out during testing as my over the phone test asks people which situations are acceptable to notarize and more than half of our Notaries decline legal requests while accepting illegal requests. Quality control is easier on a national level to make sure all Notaries know what they are doing to a T.

7. Notary Fees
Most states have ridiculously low Notary Fees. To attract good Notaries, Notary fees need to be at least $20 for the first Notary act and at least $40 for a travel fee for jobs more than 25 minutes away. Notaries in states that pay 50 cents for a Notary act tend not to be very good Notaries. Can you imagine why?

My recommendations

1. Four days of Notary education training that covers laws, processes, identifying people, administering Oaths, form filling, journals, and dealing with legal vs. illegal requests. One day of training is not enough to do a thorough job of covering all the bases here. Additionally, a refresher course for a few hours once or twice a year might help keep knowledge solidly in a Notary’s head as well.

2. A written and hands on test that could be one on one makes sense. What good is knowing the law if you don’t know how to fill in necessary forms?

3. Higher fees to become a Notary. To weed out applicants that are not serious, higher fees and more days of school will weed out people who don’t absolutely want to become a Notary Public.

4. The government should check up on Notaries at least once per year to make sure they are not skimping on responsibilities or accepting illegal requests. An undercover government worker could coerce the Notary to do something illegal to see if the Notary would comply and then fine the Notary if the Notary complied.

5. State websites (taken over by the Feds) should spell out all Notary situations and applications of laws. Identification standards should be the most emphasized as that is a huge area of contention. Names on ID’s do not always exactly match names on documents and formal standards for handling every type of mismatch should be documented on websites.

6. Most states do not make it clear that an Acknowledged signature can be signed (in 44 states) prior to appearing before the Notary Public. Most Notaries are falsely under the impression that they need to witness acknowledged signatures. What good are laws if the laws are not clearly explained? This is the most clear cut example of a law that is misinterpreted more than it is correctly interpreted. Thank God I went to a good Notary school when I became a Notary!

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January 7, 2011

Jeremy’s trip to Texas (yee-haw)

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:29 am

I went to Texas in November on a relocation trip. I wanted to get a sense of the various cities so I could figure out if I wanted to relocate. Needless to say, driving from Los Angeles to Texas was a lot of driving. I was anxious to get out of town. So, I got my work done as fast as possible. The minute I was done, I bolted. The first day I drove 700 miles from Los Angeles to Deming. Then from Deming to Hobbs so I could see more of Southeastern New Mexico and then the next day I got to Dallas.

My dream was to have dim sum (Chinese dumplings brought around on little carts) and sit next to a Texas millionaire who was about 65 and wearing an oversized coyboy hat who would tell me all about how he made his first million while ordering in fluent Chinese with a thick Texan drawl. No such luck. My meal in Dallas was spent sitting next to some snobby guys in their mid 30’s who looked like they were more than just friends. The entire restaurant was snobby and unfriendly. It took a few days to figure out that every Texan I met hated Dallas and thought it was snobby. But, Dallas is where the sophistication is. Can’t we have sophistication without the attitude problem? I’m not moving to this place. So, I checked out some other towns and had excellent Chinese food in Richardson and Grand Prairie.

I drove down to Houston which had a very odd Gulf of Mexico vibe even when you were 50 miles or more from the water. Other people felt it too. The road rage in Houston was bad, and I got out of there, but only after a few hours bumming around Chinatown and having some good dumplings. The next day was the Alamo. I had been there before (and didn’t forget) and loved it the second time around. I had Texas style gumbo on the riverwalk, and a great Thai massage uptown too. San Antonio is the nicest city I have seen anywhere. But, I didn’t meet my Texas millionaire there. Next was up to Austin, and I had a nice conversation with a construction worker at a taco place. He said the city did nothing but grow out of control for more than ten years and he had no time off. After that it was back to Fort Worth for a German pancake, some Cajun food and more looking around town. But, no Texas Millionaire. The next day I left Texas and it was up to Oklahoma.

The minute I crossed the border into Oklahoma I stopped for gas. There was a long line. I started chatting with a very unassuming guy who was about 65 dressed in jeans and a baseball hat plus a vest. He told me he had a house in Dallas and another in Palm Springs. He had a solid business, and worked until late in life, saved up and lived the lifestyle that he wanted. Finally — I had met my Texas millionaire! He was nice too. After that I saw a little of OKC, and then to Tulsa. I had no idea that Oklahoma was such a spiritual state. I meditated and the vibration for meditation was better there than anywhere else I have ever seen. Hiking next to a lake was spectacular too as Oklahoma is picturesque and beautiful. I had previously thought it was Texas under another name, but it is really different and so much more asthetically pleasing than Texas which is ugly in most parts (although the Eastern extreme of Texas has pretty trees).

After that I spent some time in New Mexico. I stayed in Santa Fe for a few days and then down to Roswell, Ruidoso, and Deming. I had great Mexican and Vietnamese food in Roswell and a great hike in Ruidoso. Roswell is famous for UFO landings. So I made my UFO joke.

ME: Are you going to abduct me?
GREEN GUY: No, but can you like us on Facebook?

It was hard to find healthy food in most of New Mexico. The state revolves around meat. Vegetables are just not a big thing there and that is bad. It is hard to stay healthy and not get fat, diabetes, or heart disease if you eat meat and tortillas all day long. In any case, I spent a few days in Phoenix after that where I know where to get amazing salads, and then came home feeling exhausted. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so drained. Carmen thought I was tired. But, I think that staying around oil rigs on the road was toxic. The Texas panhandle, Western Oklahoma and SE New Mexico are all being drilled up and it stinks of gas there. America is being destroyed by oil companies and the government allows this. Solar is so much of a better idea. When will we all wake up?

In any case, my trip was fruitful (but not vegetable-full) in that I learned which cities I like and which I did not. All in all, I think that moving out of Los Angeles is a bad idea as we have so much more here than any other city I have ever been to. And, I met my Texas millionaire – not where I wanted to meet him, and he wasn’t fluent in Chinese with a Texan drawl, but he was still nice.

My best memory of the trip was at Eatzy’s in Dallas in the sandwich section. I told the clerk how I complimented some people on their dumplings. I said:

“Ni-men de guo tie fei chang hao.” Then I said, “How is my accent?” He said, “You need to say y’all more.” I don’t think people use the word y’all when they speak Chinese. But, since I learned in the South of China, maybe it will catch on.

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January 6, 2011

The Notary can be named as a suspect if their record keeping is flawed

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — admin @ 1:07 am

I test Notaries by phone daily to see if they are fit to be on my site. The results of the testing are that I have to accept people who shouldn’t be Notaries just because I’m desperate for people in certain remote areas. However, bad Notarial record keeping is not only a headache for me during testing. It is dangerous for society and for the Notary as well. Failing to keep thumbprints makes it impossible for the FBI to catch identity thieves. ID’s can be falsified, so without hard evidence like a thumbprint, you cannot catch the bad guys. However, there’s more.

When the FBI interviews a Notary during an identity fraud case, the Notary is considered a suspect. After all, they were involved in the transaction. You might not think of yourself as a suspect, but the Feds do, because it would be easy for you to be involved, especially if you don’t keep your books correctly.

If your books are filled out with one journal entry per person per document, and each entry is signed and with a thumbprint — that is thorough bookkeeping. Less than 10% of Notaries nationwide keep their journal completely correctly. Here are some ways you could make yourself look more suspicious and perhaps end up in court for a long time.

1. If you put multiple documents in each journal entry, the signer or FBI could claim that you added extra documents AFTER the signing to defraud the signer. You cannot prove that you did not add those documents after the signing, so your hands are tied. This is why you have the signed sign off for each document which you cannot do unless there is a separate journal entry for each document.

2. If you put “loan docs” in a journal entry without specifying the exact names of the loan documents in separate journal entries, you could be accused of forging signatures on additional documents. Since you didn’t record which exact documents you notarized, you could claim anything and there is no evidence one way or the other to prove your innocence.

3. If you use one journal entry for more than one signer you create a mess as multiple signers would have to sign a journal entry where their ID information probably would not fit.

4. If you simply do not keep a journal as it is not required by law in your state you could be easily considered a suspect in identity theft and would have zero evidence to prove your innocence.

5. If you keep proper journal entries, but refuse to thumbprint the signer on a Deed or Power of Attorney (serious documents that affect people’s lives and property) you could be accused of concealing the signer’s true identity if they used a false identification card forged in China ($200 market price by the way.)

6. If you think an ID is the real person because the ID looks like him. Consider that in Iraq, ISIS kills people and sells their passports to other people who look similar for about 1200 Euros.

7. There are corrupt people at the DMV who make falsified driver’s licenses which look real because they are real, but with falsified information. Those bad people normally get caught eventually, but have a good run for a while creating all types of chaos in society. Many were charging $500 for a false ID so I heard.

If you keep proper journal entries and thumbprints, it will be more clear to investigators and judges that you take identifying signers very seriously and cover your tracks in case there is any hanky panky. ID’s can be forged, but you cannot forge a thumbprint unless you wear a latex pad on your thumb with someone else’s prints which the Notary would easily detect. Cover your tracks, and your court cases will be dismissed faster based on the experiences of the Notaries on our site!

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You might also like:

Compilation of posts about Notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21527

10 risks to being a Mobile Notary Public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19459

What entities might want to see your journal?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20902

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January 5, 2011

Comparing journal entries to fedex signatures

Filed under: Journals — Tags: , , , , , , , , — admin @ 11:29 pm

Believe it or not, most Notaries on 123notary do not fill in their journal correctly. It is not rocket science. The rule is:

One entry per person per document.
Two people each signing three documents = SIX journal entries.
But, won’t that take too much time and use too much of your journal? It will only take a few minutes.

Let’s say that Johnny is signing ten documents that are to be Notarized. You put the date, type of notarization(s), document names, document dates, name of signer, address, ID information, notary fee, etc. Next, you draw an ARROW down for the date which remains the same for all ten entries, the name, address, and ID. Then, the signer has to sign for all ten entries. That takes less than a minute. 123notary suggests thumbprinting whether it is required by your state or not as a security measure to help the FBI when they come a knocking. They are bothering one of our Notaires as we speak (or type) and confiscated her journal. So be prepared!

What most Notaries do is one entry per person. Then, they put all the names of the documents in the document section. They have the signer sign once. This is stupid.

If Fedex delivers five packages to you do you sign once? No, you sign once per package and there is a corresponding tracking number next to your signature so you know what you are signing for. If you have a signer sign once in your journal for multiple documents, they could accuse you of having added more documents after the fact and having used them for fraudulent purposes. You would have no way to contest their accusation as the signer did not sign for any particular document.

The bottom line is to have the signer sign once for each document. That way you have proof that your work was authorized and your journal will then be up to standards. And once again, it doesn’t take more than a few mintues and it’s not rocket science.

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