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February 15, 2015

Point (1) Deed of Trust; Story: Marcy Becomes a Notary!

Filed under: (2) Technical and Legal — Tags: 30 point course, Deed of Trust, Housewife becomes a Notary — admin @ 5:38 am

Marcy the housewife becomes a Notary!

Marcy was a normal Midwestern housewife. She enjoyed all of the normal aspects of life. She had a small child, her first. She enjoyed the local festivals, corn mazes, county fairs, and married life as well. But, her family seemed to always be behind the eight-ball financially. What was Marcy to do? She tried temping for a while, but that didn’t pan out. Then, she tried being a substitute teacher since she liked kids, but the assignments weren’t regular enough. She had tried all her options and couldn’t think of anything else to do. So, she went next door to Patricia’s house to see if Patricia had any helpful words. Patricia was known in the neighborhood as the go to person if you had a problem. She could help anyone out of any slump and knew the right thing to say in any situation. Marcy picked the wrong day to go to Patricia for help. Of all the days in the year, this was the worst possible day.

Marcy went over and knocked on the door. Patricia answered, but said she was waiting for someone. Then, a nicely dressed guy showed up with a briefcase. What could he be here for thought Marcy? “Oh, this is the mobile notary for my loan documents,” announced Patricia. Marcy said, “Okay, I’ll bother you another time.” Patricia asked her to come back the next day.

Marcy returned the next day. Patricia had only one thing to say: “You could totally do this!” “Do what?” “Be a mobile notary — you’d love it!” “I would?” “Yup!” It is odd how people become mobile notaries. It often happens when they or a friend have a loan that needs to get signed. Then the career opportunity light bulb flashes in their head, and the rest is history.

Marcy marched down to the county recorder’s office, filled out the paperwork, waited a few weeks to get her commission, seal, journal and forms, and she was in business! She was officially a state commissioned Notary Public and a mobile notary because she drove to her appointments. Just one small thing… She didn’t have any appointments. So Marcy went back to Patricia again to ask for help. Patricia suggested calling the notary who had helped them. Maybe he would know how to get work. Except they would be competition for him. Oooh. A touchy subject. Should they call? I guess it couldn’t hurt. In the worst case scenario, he would just decline to help them. After talking to Tom, he recommended calling 123notary and Notary Rotary. Those were the two most reputable sources of notary work at the time. That sounded easy enough. So, Marcy got herself listed on 123notary.com and the calls started coming in. (Obviously Marcy didn’t show up in 2014 because not so many calls came in that year!)

Marcy purchased the 123notary loan signing course. She didn’t study it that hard in the beginning, because she didn’t realize how important the information in it was. She decided to learn the hard way. You’ll see when you read the stories of all the trouble she got herself into.

Point (1) The Deed of Trust — Quick Facts!

(1) The Deed of Trust is the security instrument. BTW: The term Instrument means document.

(2) The Deed of Trust must be notarized. Make sure you have thumbprints in your journal for any deed.

(3) The Deed of Trust is recorded with the county recorder of the county where the property is located. The people at the County Recorders Office can often be picky and will not tolerate: cross-outs, smudgy or light seal impressions, or incomplete notarizations. Some recorders are pickier than others, so assume that they will all be very picky. If your notarization is rejected by the County Clerk, someone will have to notarize it all over again, and the borrower could experience a costly delay in their loan.

(4) As a general rule, the borrower must sign the Deed of Trust as their name appears on Title. If you use a Signature Affidavit, you might be able to have them sign in a different way, although the loan might be rejected by the Lender, in which case you might have to start all over again after a redraw.

(5) It is often required for the borrower to initial each page of the Deed of Trust

(6) The Deed of Trust is referred to as The Mortgage in many states, which is similar in essence, although there are some legal differences between the two documents which we will not discuss here.

The Deed of Trust states:

(a) The loan amount

(b) Who the lender is (and their contact information)

(d) The location and description of the property.

(e) When the loan matures (or when the loan expires: e.g., 05-31-2031)

(f) Who the trustors and trustees are

(g) The loan is secured by the property.

(h) A Description of the Property

The Deed of Trust also mentions that the borrower has to pay taxes, principle, interest, late charges, etc. It doesn’t list figures other than the loan amount, but those will be in the note and/or other documents. Deeds of trust usually range from being 2 to 30 pages. Various other terms and explanations are in this instrument, however, those terms are not of much importance to the Signing Agent.

Riders. The Deed of Trust could come with various riders. We will not discuss the riders in this section since they are numerous and self explanitory. There are little check boxes in the Deed of Trust that will indicate which riders would be included.

You might also like:
30 Point Course Table of Contents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14233

Point (2) The Note
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14270

Deed of Trust (glossary entry)
http://www.123notary.com/deed-of-trust.asp

Comments (2)

August 6, 2019

I Bounced Trustee signing – Refunded – 15 Min after docs arrived

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 9:08 pm

I Bounced Trustee signing – Refunded – 15 Min after docs arrived
I asked the all purpose question – Is there anything else I will be asked to do other than print, go, legally notarize, ship, report completion. They said “that’s it”. They sent my standard PayPal fee in 5 minutes.

When the doc arrived there was a requirement to scan and email two of the pages; OK, I’ll live with it. Even though it requires finding a parking spot, scan, email, and back out to ship. But, as they paid so quickly – I just said to myself “such is life”. But, it gets worse, as usual with my telling a lot worse.

Postdate not Backdate.
Along with the scan and email was a statement from title that I could ignore the fact that the docs were dated for the day after the notarization was scheduled. That was on the Mortgage. Borrower was predated as (no changes) signing on the 5th, the witnesses (another surprise) date the actual 4th as do I. That sure would look strange. I check with American Society of Notaries – that’s prohibited. Strike One.

Notary notarize thy self
There were two documents for notary only signatures that called for venue, stamped and seal. The first had me swear to the validity of the attached borrower ID copy – also prohibited by ASN. The second asked me to “verify” that the correct person signed, again sworn by me. Strike Two.

The closing Affidavit
The borrower signed over the words “Minnie Mouse, Trustee” – but in the notary section after the before me was “Minnie Mouse, followed by a lengthy description of the trust details”. They did include a copy of the trust (to reassure me?). Thus I was providing the trust details that the affiant did not swear to! It was the same situation for several other documents. Strike Three.

Let me outta here
Fortunately they sent the docs on Tuesday, at 7PM with the task scheduled for Thursday at 3PM, about two days later. Of course nobody at title was there to answer the phone. How I wished I had asked for the person who gave me the assignment to provide their cell number. I sent emails only stating that I had issues with the documents and also processed a complete PayPal refund. I had not printed the docs as it is my custom to review the PDFs on screen to be sure I would be able to accept the task. I also sent screen images of the ASN site showing that the specifics mentioned above were prohibited notary functions.

Lessons Learned
During “first contact” I was given the choice of them emailing the doc to me or they would ship the package to the borrower. Always have the doc emailed to you – so you can take a look at it and not wind up in a situation where you must decline to proceed and also want a trip fee. That would make for everyone involved to be unhappy. Look carefully at those notary sections, they are your statement. The fact that they sent me the Trust is meaningless; the notarized document must be able to “stand on its own”. Years later if there is litigation would you have the Trust document? Has it been revoked? Are you qualified to determine if it is valid? I am only allowed in the notary section to have the name as on ID.

What to do
Run away from questionable jobs. Your defense attorney would cost you a lot more than the tiny notary fee. Don’t count on E&O to step in when your actions are clearly improper – Dump the illegal tasks!

You might also like:

Good Deed Bad Deed
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16285

The 123notary elite certification study guide
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20118

Comments (0)

April 19, 2016

Good Deed Bad Deed

Filed under: (4) Documents,Ken Edelstein,Popular on Facebook (A little),Popular on Facebook (shares) — Tags: Deed of Trust, Grant Deed, Quit Claim Deed, Warranty Deed — admin @ 2:49 am

A deed is a document that transfers ownership of real estate from grantor to grantee. As there are usually two parties involved, the grantee wants to “receive the most” and the grantor wants to “give the least”. For this reason there is a gradient of “what is given”, ranging from virtually nothing being assured, to virtually absolute assurance going to the grantee.

Quit Claim Deed – used to transfer whatever ownership the grantor may have, possibly none whatsoever due to a title flaw. Grantee has no recourse. It’s also used to change vesting errors when a spelling error is in the vesting. It makes no warranty whatsoever.

Fiduciary Deed – issued by an agent (trustee, guardian, executor) acting in official capacity. Only the authority of the agent is warranted, think Quit Claim by other than “owner”. Often used by estates, trusts, sheriffs sales.

Bargain and Sale Deed – similar to Quit Claim, but the property is being sold rather than just relinquished. It does not guarantee that sellers’ ownership of the property is free and clear. Often used to transfer court seized property where the title chain is uncertain.

Trust Deed / Deed of Trust – used to secure a mortgage or note. It gives the trustee (typically the bank) the right to sell the property if the borrower defaults.

Grant Deed – provides assurance that the grantor owns the property and has not previously sold the property. And that there are no liens or encumbrances (made by the grantor) unless disclosed in the deed. Essentially saying the property is free of debt (of or by the grantor).

Special/Limited Warranty Deed – the grantor warrants clear title except for issues that existed prior to the grantor taking possession or are mentioned in the deed. Essentially the grantor is giving assurance that they did nothing to hinder clear title transfer. But, issues typically unknown to seller regarding title are not covered. Usually title insurance is required with the S/L WD to obtain bank approval for loans.

General Warranty Deed – Grantor conveys, without limitation, all of their right, title and interest to the property. Guaranteeing they are the rightful owner, property is free and clear of all encumbrances and debt (unless mentioned in deed). A key provision is that the grantor warrants the entire title chain, including issues prior to their taking possession to be clear, similar to title insurance. Grantor warrants having current title and possession.

Thus at one end of the spectrum is the quit claim deed, essentially saying “if it’s mine, it’s yours”; to the general warranty deed. With the GWD giving assurances as to clear ownership and the “Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment”. The COQE assuring the grantee will not be disturbed or dispossessed by a party having a lien or superior title. As is so often the case with legal documents, the devil is in the details. Fortunately, the title of the deed can quickly eliminate formats that are undesired. However, deeds are usually associated with purchases involving large sums of money, often the largest single purchase in a person’s lifetime. Many review the HUD, TIL, Note and Mortgage very carefully. But, they assume “a deed is a deed”. It’s best to have a skilled real estate attorney explain the deed prior to signing this important document.

You might also like:

The Closing Disclosure
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=closing-disclosure

The Signature Affidavit
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=signature-affidavit

The Compliance Agreement
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=compliance-agreement

Our string on Power of Attorney posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=power-of-attorney

The Deed of Trust
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=deed-of-trust

Affidavits — in general
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=affidavit

Index of information about documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

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March 1, 2015

Point (5) HUD (6) Occupancy (7) Deeds; The Value Menu BACKUP checked

Filed under: (2) Technical and Legal — Tags: 30 point course, HUD Settlement Statement, Occupancy Affidavit, Quitclaim Deeds — admin @ 12:00 am

I get paid enough to get something on the Value Menu

His name was Chester. He had been a Notary for years and he had seen it all. People liked hiring Chester, because he was on time, knowledgeable, and had quite a sense of humor. Unfortunately, a good sense of humor can be like a double edged sword. Not everyone will like your jokes. Chester was good at introducing the documents, and answering all questions.

CHESTER: Hi, my name is Chester. I’m going to be your Notary Signing Agent today. I am here to supervise the signing of these documents. If you have general questions about the documents, or what information is in which document, I am happy to answer. However, if you have specific questions pertaining to your loan, I will most likely refer those questions to your Lender.

ELLEN: Got it.

(ring-ring)

ELLEN: Hello? You want to speak to the man of the house? You must have the wrong number!

CHESTER: Let’s open the package here. Okay, this is the Deed of Trust. This document includes a property address, the amount of the loan, and ties your property as collateral for the loan. Additionally, it states the expiration date of the loan in 2045.

ELLEN: Right after the war of 2045. How convenient. I heard the war was going to end in June, and my loan expires right in July! Perfect! We’ll have two things to celibrate.

CHESTER: I didn’t know a war was scheduled.

ELLEN: Oh, that’s the new thing. Instead of going at it right away, people are so busy these days that they don’t have time for wars, unless they are scheduled at least twenty years in advance. I even have an app for that. It’s called — schedule my war. It has a D-day add-on too! Pretty cool. Looking forward to it.

CHESTER: And I thought that I was usually the funny one at signings. Now, this document is The Note. It has your payment amounts, if there is a prepayment penalty it will discuss that, and it has your Rate, and the amount of the loan.

ELLEN: My rate? My rate is by the word. Yeah. I charge by the word when I write material. But, my manager says that I should charge by the laugh. I get one rate for my initial time telling the jokes and then residuals. We do that at clubs too. Instead of a $30 cover charge, we have a laughometer strapped to each person. We charge them based on how many times they laughed and how hard they laughed. One guy had to Mortgage his house to pay his bill the last time I was on stage. Oh! Only 4.5% Cool! I won’t have to Mortgage my house to pay that. Did I say that? Oh — I AM Mortgaging my house and as a result will have to pay that. Got it!

Chester’s signing with Ellen went well. She would have appreciated his jokes if she hadn’t kept him laughing with her own jokes. But, Chester’s next signing didn’t work as well. The problem happened when he got to the HUD.

SAM: And who did you say you worked for again? You’re a subcontractor, right?

CHESTER: I subcontract for H&B Lending, over $40 billion served (lended)

SAM: I’m loving it! Don’t I deserve a break today?

CHESTER: Give ME a break, that ad is 40 years old! And this next document is the HUD. The HUD itemizes all of the expenses related to your loan.

SAM: Let me read that. Hmmm. On this line it says that the Notary fee is $250. How much of that do you get?

CHESTER: Oh, enough to get something on the value menu at McDonalds.

SAM: Okay, that’s not funny. Get out of my house! You damn Notary!

Point (5) The HUD Settlement Statement
This document is often faxed or emailed at the last minute as Lenders often do not have their act together and need to make last minute changes to documents. Without the HUD, the loan cannot close.

The Settlement Statement or HUD contains information about fees and payoffs. Here, you can check to see what the Notary fee is and compare that to what you are being paid. Do not discuss these numbers with the borrower because it is between them and the Lender, and they are both relying on you for confidentiality. If the borrower already paid an appraisal fee out of their pocket and they are being charged again, for example, have them talk it over with the Lender. Don’t try to answer whether or not they will be reimbursed for certain fees; just have them speak to the Lender. If the Lender is not available, let them know that they have several days to talk to the Lender while they have the right to rescission (the right to cancel). The above situation with appraisal fees happens frequently.

There are several other documents that are similar to the HUD such: as the “Estimated Closing Statement” and the “Good Faith Estimate”. These documents were often drafted earlier in the loan process and don’t always reflect final numbers.

Seasoned Notaries often know what piece of information is on each line of the HUD and have the structure of the document memorized.

Point (6) The Occupancy Affidavit

There are different variations to this document; sometimes it is called ‘Occupancy Affidavit and Financial Status’. The purpose of this document is for the borrower to state that they live in the subject property (which means the house they are borrowing money on). In addition, it asks the borrower to state that they haven’t had any sudden financial changes — for example, unemployment or bankruptcy. Keep your eyes open; if you don’t check which variation of the Occupancy Affidavit you are dealing with, you might make a fool of yourself (a fool and his money are soon parted.) This document is usually notarized.

Point (7) Grant & Quitclaim Deeds

There are four major reasons to have a Grant Deed.

(1) To transfer property in a sale of property

(2) To take someone’s name off of a deed so they won’t be liable for a loan when the other owners want to borrow money.

(3) To transfer the property to or from community property in a trust.

(4) To change someone’s name on the deed
The deed could transfer a property from “Jane F. Doe” to “Jane Doe”. This is very common for people with name variations because sometimes a loan can’t fund without the property being recorded as being owned by the owner with a particular name variation.

Quitclaim Deeds

Quitclaim Deeds are often used to take a person’s name off title. Here is some more information:

A Quitclaim Deed is a legal document which transfers a property to the buyer or owner, whatever interests in the property are held by the maker of the deed. A Quitclaim Deed does not guarantee that those interests are valid. By accepting such a deed, you accept the risk that someone may later appear with a valid claim to your property. A Grant Deed on the other hand guarantees from grantor to grantee that the title is clear. An example of a circumstance where a Quitclaim may be used is where one spouse is disclaiming any interest in property that the other spouse owns. Of the different types of deeds, the Quitclaim has the least assurance that the grantee receiving it will actually get any rights. A Quitclaim deed does not release the party quitting claim to real property from their obligations in any mortgage or other lien secured against the pertaining property.

A Quitclaim Deed is a common, but not standard document in a loan document package. Sometimes, ownership has to be transferred or someone needs to be taken off a Deed before a loan can officially go through. Quitclaim Deeds are always notarized using an Acknowledged signature and the signer must always be positively identified by the notary public for security purposes. Some states also require the notary to take fingerprints in their notary journal for Quitclaim and other deeds affecting real property.

You might also like:

30 Point Course Table of Contents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14233

30 Point Course (8-9) The 1003 & Compliance Agreement
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14335

HUD-1 Settlement Statement
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10197

I go over the HUD-1 First
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4819

The Affidavit of Occupancy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10193

Comments (1)

November 30, -0001

Point (5) HUD (6) Occupancy (7) Deeds; The Value Menu

Filed under: Loan Signing 101 — Tags: 30 point course — admin @ 12:00 am

I get paid enough to get something on the Value Menu

ELLEN: Got it.

(ring-ring)

ELLEN: Hello? You want to speak to the man of the house? You must have the wrong number!

ELLEN: Right after the war of 2045. How convenient. I heard the war was going to end in June, and my loan expires right in July! Perfect! We’ll have two things to celibrate.

CHESTER: I didn’t know a war was scheduled.

SAM: And who did you say you worked for again? You’re a subcontractor, right?

CHESTER: I subcontract for H&B Lending, over $40 billion served (lended)

SAM: I’m loving it! Don’t I deserve a break today?

CHESTER: Give ME a break, that ad is 40 years old! And this next document is the HUD. The HUD itemizes all of the expenses related to your loan.

SAM: Let me read that. Hmmm. On this line it says that the Notary fee is $250. How much of that do you get?

CHESTER: Oh, enough to get something on the value menu at McDonalds.

SAM: Okay, that’s not funny. Get out of my house! You damn Notary!

Seasoned Notaries often know what piece of information is on each line of the HUD and have the structure of the document memorized.

Point (6) The Occupancy Affidavit

Point (7) Grant & Quitclaim Deeds

There are four major reasons to have a Grant Deed.

(1) To transfer property in a sale of property

(2) To take someone’s name off of a deed so they won’t be liable for a loan when the other owners want to borrow money.

(3) To transfer the property to or from community property in a trust.

Quitclaim Deeds

Quitclaim Deeds are often used to take a person’s name off title. Here is some more information:

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August 2, 2024

How to Effectively Prepare Clients for Loan Signing Appointments

Filed under: Comprehensive Guides — Tags: Loan Signing — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

With the right approach, preparing clients for loan signing appointments can be smooth and efficient. Whether you are working with homeowners or business owners, ensuring they are well-prepared can save time and prevent potential issues. Here are some critical steps to effectively prepare clients for loan signings.

Initial Communication and Documentation

The first step is clear, thorough communication. Contact your clients well in advance of the appointment. Explain the purpose of the loan signing and what they can expect during the process. Provide a checklist of required documents, including identification, proof of income, and any other relevant paperwork. This includes business licenses, financial statements, and corporate documents for business owners.

Importance of Understanding the Documents

Clients should be encouraged to review all loan documents before the appointment. If possible, send them copies of the documents in advance and offer to answer any questions they might have. Highlight critical documents such as the Promissory Note, Deed of Trust, and any disclosure statements. For business owners, explain the significance of documents like the business credit report and commercial property assessments. Ensuring clients understand these documents can prevent confusion and delays during the signing.

Pre-Appointment Review

Arrange a pre-appointment review session. This can be done in person, over the phone, or via video. During this session, walk your clients through the documents and address any concerns or questions. For homeowners, clarify details about interest rates, loan terms, and payment schedules. Business owners should ensure they understand terms related to collateral, loan covenants, and financial ratios. This review session helps build confidence and reduces the likelihood of last-minute issues.

Organize and Prepare

Instruct your clients to organize their documents before the appointment. They should bring originals and copies of all necessary documents. Ensure they have valid identification, such as a driver’s license or passport. Business owners should ensure they have the appropriate authority to sign on behalf of the business, such as a resolution from the board of directors or a power of attorney.

Setting Expectations

Set clear expectations about the appointment. Explain how long it will take, who will be present, and what the process entails. Let them know they will need to read and sign several documents carefully. For homeowners, explain the importance of verifying details like property address, loan amount, and interest rate. For business owners, emphasize the need to review and understand all financial commitments and obligations.

Day of the Appointment

Remind clients to bring all required documents and identification on the appointment day. Advise them to allocate enough time for the signing, as it can take longer than expected. Ensure the signing location is comfortable and conducive to a thorough review of the documents. A quiet, well-lit space can make a significant difference.

Professionalism and Support

During the appointment, maintain a professional and supportive demeanor. Guide your clients through each document, explaining key points and answering questions. Provide clear, concise explanations for complex terms or clauses. For business owners, offer additional insights into how the loan terms might impact their operations and financial planning. This approach ensures you prepare clients for loan signings in a comprehensive manner.

Post-Signing Follow-Up

After the documents are signed, provide your clients with copies of everything they signed. Explain the next steps in the loan process, such as funding and repayment schedules. Please encourage them to reach out for questions or concerns after the appointment. Business owners offer to assist with post-signing requirements, such as updating their financial records or communicating with their accounting team. Remind them to ensure all documents are in order, including instructions on notarizing every page if their lender requires.

Get Ready for Successful Loan Signings

Adequate preparation is the key to a successful loan signing appointment. By explaining the process, gathering and reviewing documents, and creating a conducive environment, you can help your clients feel confident and prepared. Remember to notarize every page and address any questions they may have to ensure a seamless experience.

Comments (0)

January 28, 2022

Bartender Notary: A reverse mortgage on the rocks!

Filed under: Humorous Posts,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: Bartender Notary, Notary, reverse mortgage — admin @ 11:54 pm

This was originally published in 2013.

Signing with the Bartender-Notary: Reverse Mortgage on the Rocks

The bartender notary knocks on the door. “Hi, I’m the bartender notary. I’m here to do your signing.”
“Sure, come right in,” says Joe the borrower.

They go to the dining room table to do the signing. The bartender notary looks around and says, “Hey, isn’t that a wet bar in the back of your living room?”
“Yes.”
“Would you mind if we sat over there?; I would feel much more comfortable sitting over there,” the bartender notary says.
Joe goes behind the bar and asks, “Where am I supposed to sit?”
“No, I’m the bartender so I go behind the bar. you sit on the stool on the other side,” the notary insists.

“Aren’t we gonna do the signing?” asks Joe.
The notary opens his briefcase and takes out a few flasks of non-alcoholic drinks, a tall glass, and a little umbrella. “I’m frustrated, because , when I go to signings, no one ever offers me a drink…maybe after half an hour they might offer me some tap water if I’m lucky…So I decided to turn the tables around…or the counters, as the case may be…and offer the signers a drink. I make my own orange-cranberry spritzer…would you like one of those…or would you like a virgin lemonade? I’ve got everything except ice.”

“Make me a strawberry lime spritzer…and can you muddle the fruits a little? Wait—” says Joe. “Aren’t we supposed to be doing a signing?”
“I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before we do the signing.”
“Ok, I’ll play along,” says Joe.

“How about those Dodgers, Joe? Who are they gonna trade?”
“Well, right now, I’m ready to trade notaries—if we don’t get started with the signing right away.”
“Ok, let’s do the signing,” the notary shrugs.
“Actually,” Joe says, “my reverse mortgage was on the rocks since the beginning of the application process, so I decided to go for a refinance– straight up.”

“Ok,” the notary says.“Your first document is a Deed of Trust. May I see some ID, sir?”
The borrower says, “What, I don’t look over 21?”
“Just a precaution, sir.”

The bartender notary opens his journal and begins to record the types of documents, the patron-borrower’s ID, and the types of drinks served at the signing.

The notary says, “This is your Deed of Trust. Your loan amount is right here; please initial all pages of the document and sign on the last page.”

They get to the Note; the notary says, “This is your Note. Your interest rate is 4.5%. The last loan I signed was an adjustable rate mortgage. I asked the borrower if he would like his interest rate shaken or stirred when the adjustment date comes in two years. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t think it was very funny. I’m lucky he didn’t trade me. Maybe it was how I said it…”

Then the notary asks, “So how’s the wife treating you?”
“Oh, I canned her years ago… I have a girlfriend,” says Joe.
“Do you think she will be in need of a bartender-notary anytime soon?”
“No she lives in an apartment. She won’t need to refinance anything in this lifetime.”

“So waddaya think–those interest rates—are they gonna go up or down?” asks the bartender notary.
“Oh, the Fed’s gotta keep it about the same—or you notaries will all be out of a job!”

“Next, we are going to look at the TIL. This is your Truth in Lending disclosure. Your APR is right here. So are we going into Iran? Whaddaya think the chances are that we invade Iran?”
Joe the signer looks at the TIL and says, “I’d give it about a 4.97%… Hey, I thought we’re not supposed to talk about politics at the signing?”
“That’s my trademark, I have to talk about politics because I’m the bartender notary… that’s what bartenders talk about. Would you like some bar snacks? We have peanuts, wasabi chips … Did you hear about LAX Vineyards new wine blend? It’s a cross between a cab, a merlot, and a shuttle. It’s very popular with bartenders. Did you hear about the wine documentary from Ireland? It’s called Cork Uncorked… There’s a special kind of wine for a signing… Did you hear about the Reverse Mortgage Cabernet? It’s rich in tannins and has two subtle notes…black cherry, and a hint of cocoa…and a smooth finish…assuming that we don’t have to call the lender.”

Joe asks, “What’s next?”
“The next document is your HUD.”

They go to the HUD. Joe the borrower asks, “Oh, so is my strawberry lime spritzer documented in the HUD?”
“Yeah, I think it’s right there under the termite inspection…Let’s just sign the rest of these documents; I have to close up soon…Last call,” says the notary.

They finish signing the rest of the documents.

The notary takes the borrower’s copy of the Deed of Trust and places it next to the signed Deed of Trust. Joe looks at it and says, “There are two Deeds of Trust. I’m seeing double. I thought that strawberry lime spritzer was non-alcoholic…”

“No! These are your borrower’s copies. Are you gonna be ok—or should I call you a cab?”
Joe: “I’m already home…I live here.”

Tweets:
(1) I’m frustrated because when I go to signings, nobody ever offers me a drink!
(2) Bartender notary prefers to do his signings sitting on stools near the wet-bar.
(3) I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before signing.”

You might also like:

Compilation of Notary Stories
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21898

Compilation of virtual comedy Notary articles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

Compilation of posts about Notary etiquette
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20505

Comments (0)

January 3, 2022

Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: notaries, Notarization, notary reviews, The Notarization — admin @ 8:03 pm

Originally published many years ago

Notary reviews vs. Movie reviews

Imagine what the world would be like if Notaries got reviews similar to movie reviews. The world would be a much more interesting place for one! But, would it get too zany?

(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) The notarization was good, but the popcorn needed more butter (sorry for the corny joke)
(3) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(4) Some reviews spoil the movie — read the spoiler alert.
(5) I didn’t like the ending to the signing. Too predictable.
(6) The guy in front of me wouldn’t take off his hat throughout the entire signing
(7) There was a lot of character development the minute we got to explaining the APR.
(8) The Notary gave an award winning performance.
(9) The actor who played the Notary was such a natural it would be an easy mistake to take him for a real Notary!
(10) The notary had to go back to his trailer so that “make up” could do some touch ups on his seal, because his seal was beginning to smudge.
(11) I hate it when people talk during the signing, especially during the critical parts.
(12) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.
(13) The notary dimmed the lights as I was reading the details on my Settlement Statement. Luckily I brought a flashlight!
(14) The suspense hit its apex when the Notary couldn’t reach the Lender by cell phone. I never expected that!

Coming attractions:
Refinance 2,
Debt Reduction Retainers — the sequel.
The Notary Games.

Tweets:
(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(3) Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews: I didn’t like the end of the signing — to predictable.
(4) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.

Comments (0)

May 28, 2021

A clown becomes a signing agent

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 6:34 am

The clown business gets slow because of Covid-19 (which is no joke) and a clown desperate for business joins 123notary. He starts getting jobs right away because his notes section is so unique with comical references and cute jokes. He goes on his first signing.

CLOWN: I’m Larry and I’m here to do your signing.

SIGNER: Oh, wonderful. Please come in Larry. Love the face paint. I think this clowning around Notary service will really take off.

CLOWN: Before we handle the Deed of Trust, I’m going to juggle the borrower copies, the main copies, and this plastic cup. This is way more entertaining than your last signer I bet.

SIGNER: Yeah. I read the reviews. “This guy is a clown!” and “He’s good at juggling appointments.” So far you didn’t botch any signings it looks like.

CLOWN: Yes, but the scheduling is hectic. Last week was like a circus going to all of my appointments. It will get worse if the interest rate becomes negative. They will pay you to borrow money.

SIGNER: Interesting. Hey look, I have my own rubber Notary stamp…. Ooops, it squirted you.

CLOWN: Hey, aren’t I supposed to do that? On the other hand, maybe that’s why you picked me. In any case, my slogan is — when it comes to getting your signing done on time, and correctly the first time — we don’t clown around.

SIGNER: I like that tiny car you have outside. How do you fit in it?

CLOWN: Oh, I fit with ten other family members. We run around the car three times before getting in. Half of my sister hangs out the window, but it’s all good. Okay, now let’s get serious… please disregard my red nose when trying to be serious. Let me clear my throat… Um-hmmm. Now, I’m serious… (honk honk). We’ll begin with the Deed of Trust, and then we have the Note. Make sure the property address is correct otherwise you might be paying for someone else your whole life.

SIGNER: Okay…

(20 minutes later)

SIGNER: We finished the package!

CLOWN: Now, since you have high ceilings, we went over that by phone, I am going to walk around the signing table on stilts…

SIGNER: Well done. BTW, Fedex is around the corner and their open until 11pm even during Covid.

CLOWN: Super. And last, but not least, a signing with me is never complete unless the signer gets a pie in the face!!!

SIGNER: Excuse me….. too late. I’ll write a review with a photo warning your other clients of what to expect from you.

CLOWN: Most of my clients are bored with their life and this is exactly what they need. Besides, you didn’t have dessert yet tonight, right?

SIGNER: And I am behind on doing the laundry, now I have one more reason to get it done and fast, not to mention take a shower.

THE WIFE: Ha ha ha… He deserves that pie. He has no sense of humor about anything. Thanks Mr. Clown Notary. Let me double check your work to make sure you didn’t clown around notarizing documents…. nope… it’s all good. I use to be a Notary myself, but not the type of Notary you are.

CLOWN: Thanks for everything. I’ll drop the package right away.

Comments (0)

November 5, 2020

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