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January 29, 2022

My date with Jeremy

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Twitter 2011,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 11:19 pm

This article was originally published in 2013.

He was striking and utterly took my breath away–like a traffic accident. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had deep, penetrating gray eyes that seemed to notice everything. His shirt was the color of numbers.

We got out of the car at the restaurant. He took the ticket stub the valet handed him and scrutinized the numbers. “These add up to 33, an excellent number for business,” Jeremy noted. “I hope my good fortune extends to this restaurant as well. Let’s go in and see what’s on the menu.”

The sign above the entrance said Le Jurat.

“How did you pick this restaurant?” I asked.

“I have an algorithm for restaurants,” Jeremy said, opening the door for me.

“How chivalrous!” I replied. I was in awe of him, and I didn’t know what else to say.

“I assess the restaurant according to reviews, how they answer the phone, and zip code… and then I try the food,” he explained. “I test the food before bringing a friend here. Sometimes the reviews don’t match the quality of the service provider. In my opinion, good reviews don’t necessarily translate to good service–but I don’t know if you subscribe to that opinion, Sealia.”

As we were being taken to our table, a woman with frizzed red hair like the bride of Frankenstein ran up to Jeremy, tapped him on the shoulder, and demanded–“My password! I need my password! I can’t get in to update my page!”

Jeremy looked her in the eye and said sternly, “I’m having dinner. I emailed you your password three times in the last few months. You need to request it by email. Not now.”

I wondered exactly what the woman was talking about…and whether this man ever had any time to himself.

The decor of Le Jurat was elegant, parchment beige with traces of pink and gold, and there was no waiting line, yet the restaurant was full–an amazing combination for a Saturday night in Los Angeles. On all the tables, a little sign next to the placemats read, “Customers who subscribe to our newsletter have sworn by us…” The music playing in the background was “I Swear” by John Michael Montgomery…

“When I was choosing restaurants,” Jeremy said slyly, “it was a choice between this place and a Christian Korean place called the Hyung Moon Temple where the signature dish was Stained Glass Noodles.”

I laughed. “So tell me about this business of yours,” I asked. “What exactly do you do for notaries?”

“I provide advertising, education, and entertainment for notaries–visit us on Facebook! I also use algorithms to assess the notaries’ performance and knowledge.”

“I didn’t know Al Gore had rhythm,” I smiled and nodded.

“I didn’t know he had rhythm, either.” His phone rang. “123notary, this is Jeremy” he stated automatically.

“It’s Vicki from Hyung Moon,” he said aloud; “Sorry, Vicki, I have to cancel…I will not be able to make it this evening. I wish to rescind.”

He hung up quietly and said, “I kind of double booked…”

He was just about to smile again when the phone rang–again.

“Hullo,” screeched a voice.

“123notary, this is Jeremy.”

“Are you a notorizor?”

“I used to be a notary but I’m not anymore. Please look on 123notary. I’m the site administrator. Please call a notary on the site. Have a nice night. Goodbye.”

Again the phone rang,
but this time, he glanced at the number and said, “I’m not going to answer now because I’m with you, but I’ll have to call them back in exactly one hour and 56 minutes. That will be the best time to speak with this person who wants to take a phone test. I remember their number and the exact time they said would be optimal to call. That gives us enough time to have our meal and a dessert…before we go to FedEx to finalize the date,” he said, focusing on a tiny spot on the tablecloth.

“FedEx?” I said. “Why FedEx?”

“That’s where my dates always end–at a FedEx drop box.”

We tried to catch the waiter’s attention. “Hey–the waiter didn’t even acknowledge us!” Jeremy quipped. “Do you think our waiter will personally appear before us? I would like to order the Soup du Jurat…and a Certified Angus Burger…I like this restaurant because it’s 24 hours…although they don’t answer the phone after 11…if you want late-night service you have to call before 11… ”

I decided on the Rack of Lamb. “Is that a dual rack or a single?” I asked the waiter, who had finally appeared.

“Well, technically it’s a single rack….but we put in a separator program…so the legal size chops can go on a legal-sized plate.”

“If I don’t like the entree, do I have the right to cancel?” Jeremy demanded.

Finally the waiter delivered the food–and not a minute too soon.

“This lamb is delicious!” I said.

Jeremy ate his certified burger. “This stuff is as good as Kobe beef!” he replied.

“So what is it really like running 123notary?” I asked.

“It’s like dealing with a series of situations that never end,” he said.

“So it’s like marriage,” I said.

“That’s a good analogy. Trying to get people to do what they’re supposed to is like separating ribs. I need people to answer their phone, or write their Notes. They don’t all do it.”

“So it’s like a cross between babysitting and marriage…”

“Another good analogy! We’re really on the same page here. Would you like to have dessert at Le Venue down the street?”

“I’d love to!”

“Waiter, would you bring our settlement statement? Was my appetizer amortized over the life of the dinner?”

The waiter brought the check.

“When is my first payment due?” asked Jeremy.

“In five minutes,” the waiter answered. “The term of your loan is 45 minutes–with no accrued interest. The final payment is due tonight as well.”

“Is my APR different from my rate?”

“They are the same–due to the fact that we are not adding finance charges to your transaction,” the waiter explained.

“I see your point.”

“There are no points– because points would be considered finance charges–and no origination fee,” concluded the waiter.

“This conversation is completely irrelevant, considering there is no security instrument,” said Jeremy.

The waiter returned with the credit card statement.

“What color ink would you like me to sign with, black or blue?”

“Either. Just as long as you are personally appearing before me, I can accept your signature…but I could give you an oath…because I saw you were raising your right hand as you were trying to hail me,” the waiter replied.

“Shall we leave?” I asked Jeremy.

“Let’s go,” he said.

We walked down the street to Le Venue, a Restaurant for Notaries, for dessert.

“What county are we in?” Jeremy asked the hostess.

“Why do you need to know?”

“You always need to know what county you’re in when you fill out a venue. You’re not a notary, are you?” Jeremy told the hostess.

“Is everyone here a notary?” he asked the waiter.

“Pretty much…except the hostess,” the waiter replied.

I noticed the placemats read, “State of California…”

We looked at the menu anyway, even though we were only there for dessert…and saw “Roast Seal with Ink.”

Jeremy considered the mousse for dessert…

“What county is the mousse from?” Jeremy asked.

“It’s not from a county, it’s from a province, sir” the waiter replied.

“Can we get an Alaskan mousse?” …

“How about this dessert made with oreo cookies– what a great raised seal they have!” I suggested.

“Does the seal on the embossed cookie have an expiration date?” Jeremy asked.

“It doesn’t expire until 2015,” the waiter attested.

“How about the analytics dessert? It’s a graph… It’s in the form of a pie graph…”

“Oh, I can’t eat a whole pie…” I said.

“Well, most of the pieces are missing…the anayltics weren’t very good…” Jeremy pointed out.

Jeremy got the mousse, and I asked for the Locus Sigilli Sundae.

“Today is Friday. Do you serve the sundae today–or only on Sundays and federal holidays?”

“We serve this sundae with the oreos every day, sir,” the waiter replied.

The food was perfect.

“I can’t finish my dessert,” I said. Can you finish it for me?” I asked.

“I think we have to get a power of attorney for me to finish your dessert,” Jeremy replied.

On the way out, he went up to the hostess and asked, “Can you validate us?”

“You’re a very nice person,” she told him, smiling.

“No, I mean stamp our parking receipt…Can I stamp it myself? I’m a notary; that’s my thing. Can I backdate it? We’ve been here quite a while…”

“No, sorry sir, we don’t allow that…”

“I enjoyed eating the date stamped on my oreos…” I said, wondering what to expect next.

“I enjoyed eating my mousse…but I would have enjoyed it more if the antlers hadn’t been crushed by the car that hit it in the dark, ” Jeremy laughed. “Can I take you home?” Jeremy asked softly.

“No….just drop me off at the FedEx drop box.”

Tweets:
(1) “Waiter, would you bring our settlement statement? Was my appetizer amortized over the life of the dinner?”
(2) The waiter brought the check. “When is my first payment due?” asked Jeremy.
(3) “Does the seal on the embossed oreo cookie have an expiration date?” Jeremy asked.
(4) The notary asked, “Can I get an Alaskan moose with Russian dressing. They’re our next door neighbors!”
(5) Running 123notary is more like babysitting than you think,
“Did you update your listing? Did you update your notes? Did you renew yet?”
(6) “FedEx?” I said. “Why FedEx?” “That’s where my dates always end–at a FedEx drop box.”
(7) Running 123notary is like a cross between babysitting & a marriage. A bunch of situations that never end!

You might also like:

My 2nd date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7074

What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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June 18, 2021

12 ways to negatively advertise yourself and fail as a mobile notary

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 8:51 am

Notaries hire us to advertise them and promote them by virtue of listing them. But, many notaries do counterproductive things with their advertising. Let’s take a closer look.

YOUR BUSINESS NAME
1. Have a generic sounding business name like “Nationwide Notary Service” , “Statewide Signing Service”, or “Illinois Notary Service.” You will get confused with a lot of others and not stand out. Or just don’t have a business name at all.

REVIEWS
2. Don’t ask for reviews — ever… And make sure your work isn’t that great, which will alleviate the risk of getting a positive review. Or you could try to get negative reviews.

PHONE ETIQUETTE
3. Never answer your phone, and if you do, make sure to have screaming kids in the background, try to sound muffled, don’t speak into the phone, and don’t be polite. Never announce who you are when you answer your phone — make them guess.

4. Give roundabout answers to questions via phone and insert lots of unasked for information which you think makes you look knowledgeable, but to them makes you look like an annoying novice who won’t stop talking.

YOUR NOTES SECTION
5. Use baseless cliche adjectives to describe yourself like “responsible” and “reliable”

6. Leave your notes section blank on your 123notary listing profile.

7. Ramble on and on in your notes section without letting people know your credentials or what you know how to do.

YOUR PROFILE
8. Don’t fill in your # of loans signed on your profile. Let people guess and when they ask, say, “lots” rather than giving them actual tangible information such as an actual number.

9. Only work two days a week, and only three hours on each day.

10. Only serve your home county and refuse to go anywhere else for any price.

KNOWLEDGE & CERTIFICATIONS

11. Don’t get any. Or at a minimum, don’t get certified by any agency with tough testing standards. Why bother?

12. Make sure you don’t know your notary knowledge at all. That way you can ensure that you will make Notary mistakes, get in lots of trouble and lose clients.

SUMMARY
If you follow all of my tips, I guarantee that you will do really poorly in your business unless you have a very loyal following already. On the other hand, do the opposite, and you might do well. In addition to these tips, if you send back packages late, or in incomplete form, and speak in a rude way to clients, that will enhance your ability to fail in business. Once again, do the opposite and you might succeed.

I wrote this article in jest, but the reality is that most Notaries are not doing everything, or even half of everything they need to do to succeed. Making it as a mobile notary is not a matter of luck. There is a checklist of things you need to do: Notes, Reviews, Certifications, Notes, Business Name, Phone Etiquette, Notary Skills, etc.

The good news is that we have many articles and even free courses on our blog for ALL of these points. And you can become an expert with n

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April 12, 2021

10 things you need to know as a Signing Agent

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 7:28 am

Most people are confused when they begin their career as a Notary signing agent. They don’t know what they need to learn or do, or how to get clients. Those in the business for many years have the opposite problem. They think they know everything while they know very little — at least when I test them. Here is what I think Notaries should learn and how to learn it.

1. Be a good Notary. What does that entail?
You need to know the rules for each notary act and how to fill out forms. You also need to know how to administer Oaths correctly and few Notaries do this well or take it seriously. You can lose your commission if a judge finds out you didn’t give an Oath on any particular Affidavit, Jurat or sworn statement that you notarized. It is easy to learn how to do this, but few make it their business to know their job. Read your state’s notary manual regularly. You can also read blogs from NNA, 123notary or other Notary agencies. But, your state notary division is gospel, and the agencies are sometimes wrong — so treat their information as commentary. Keeping a journal is also imperative, because when you are in court, and 15% of serious Notaries end up before a judge sooner or later, your journal is your only evidence. The more thoroughly you keep your journal, the happier the judge will be with you. If you identify someone incorrectly or carelessly you might be empowering an imposter to steal a house from someone or commit fraud. We teach all of these points on our blog on Notary Public 101.

Summary of point 1.
Understanding All applicable Notary Acts, Identification procedures, Journal procedure, and Oaths are the bedrock of being a good Notary.

2. Understand The Right to Cancel
Residential owner occupied Refinances typically have a Right to Rescind document. Understanding how to date this document properly is not rocket science, but experienced Notaries flake and goof and get the dates wrong when I test them on a regular basis. It is not rocket sciencem, and no, the NASA website doesn’t cover this, it is a matter of counting to three and not counting Sundays or Federal Holidays.

3. Understand FAQ’s about loan signing.
When is my first payment due?
Where is my rate, APR?
Do I have a prepayment penalty and where is it?
Where are my closing costs and fees itemized?
Do I have to send a check or other documents not included in the package?
How long can I read my borrower’s copies before rescinding
How do I cancel my loan?

Many Notaries feel that they need to be experts at all of the documents. As a general rule, you should know the difference between the Correction Agreement LPOA and a Compliance Agreement, although there are so many variations in these documents that they are all different and you have to read each one — but, being familiar and knowledgeable about these document variations pays off as this is a FAQ that people are concerned about. Most loan signing courses go over this information and you should memorize this as people at signings will ask about it.

4. Understanding Reverse Mortgages, TRID, Helocs, Purchases, etc.
LSS’s course seems to do the best job teaching these types of loans (or documents) that are new in popularity over the last few years. Most signing courses were written ten or twenty years ago when Reverse Mortgages either didn’t exist or were not a popular item. Since as a Notary, you are not allowed to explain the terms of a person’s loan, but only allowed to help signers find information within the loan, it is NOT critical to understand these loans or documents, but make you look good if you did. So consider point four to be a plus, but not a necessity.

5. Explain or don’t explain
In our various blog courses we go over point by point what a Notary should explain or not explain. The 30 point course discusses this in detail. This is critical because otherwise you might get yourself in trouble talking about what you have no business of talking about. Or you might talk about something you know nothing about. Or, you might not answer a question which you should know the answer and express the answer about. Boy, this is complicated.

6. How to find new clients
There are many ways. We write about this in the marketing section of our blog, but you might have to scroll.

7. How to background screen clients
Not all clients are pleasant or pay on time. Use the 123notary or Notary Rotary forum to see which companies are worth working for. Please be informed that in the last two years there has been a drastic decline in forum commentary on our forum and on NotaryRotary’s, although theirs is much more well trafficked than ours. There is less quantity of reliable information about the various signing companies. But, still do your research.

8. How to collect from clients
Some people don’t pay on time, so you have to know how to keep records, how to bill people, and how to threaten them the right way if they keep you waiting for payment. We go over this in our courses.

9. Where to learn about general information
You should read the various blogs out there. NNA and 123notary have interesting blogs where you can learn and source information from antiquated entries on particular topics.

10. How to handle tricky situations
In Notary Public 101 we go over many sticky situations and explain how to think about them and how to handle them. Understanding this content makes you a more confident, trustworthy and safe Notary! It’s like a vaccine made out of knowledge!

Further Reading
As a general rule, I recommend getting certified by various entities, not just one. I recommend Notary Public 101 and the 30 Point Course in our blog as well as reading our blog articles about marketing and notarial issues in particular. LSS offers a very practical course that is more sensitive to what is going on in the industry now. Notary2Pro seems to churn out the best trained Notaries of any certification. 123notary has the hardest certification test and passing it will prove yourself better than the other certifications.

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December 28, 2020

Money and the Notary

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 12:49 pm

Background
In my youth, quite some time ago; I met with Ben Franklin at Fraunces Tavern in lower Manhattan in the colony of New York. He told me that the phrase ‘A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned’ means that it is as useful to save money that you already have as it is to earn more. I found this inspirational, and was causative to this blog entry.

Pennies Saved
Saving money is a double edged situation. Of course you get to keep the cash by not spending it and add to your personal wealth. Naturally this assumes those who you trusted to make a payment to you actually do. Personally, I follow mom’s advice to not trust strangers and most often require PayPal in advance. But I digress. It’s nice to accumulate wealth for needs unanticipated; as well as the anticipation of becoming “elderly”, sick or disabled. Thus Ben was quite correct, simply put: it’s nice to keep those pennies.

However there is the other edge: wise spending. We enjoy choices, many choices vie for our pennies. A quality smart phone that can run wayz (a cell phone based GPS navigation aid) will save fuel and often travel time. Hoarding all income is impractical, if not impossible. The pennies not saved; in effect invested, can yield many more pennies. Mobile Notaries with quality equipment; and, of course the skills to deploy them often prosper. Misers rarely flourish.

Pennies Earned
Pardon the repetition; earning money is also double edged. Multiple dichotomies exist. One can do ten jobs for twenty five dollars each, or five jobs for fifty dollars each. Sure that is an over simplification of the lowballer. However the concept is a valid one. Similarly, the complex and lengthy to process tasks are generally the most lucrative. To get them you need a lot of skill, advanced education; and a reputation of excellence. Notaries compete rather than cooperate. There are many chasing the same few assignments. What to do? The simplest, albeit harshest solution; would be for the near failing, to seek other employment.

John Houseman for Smith Barney, said, “They make money the old fashioned way… they earn it,” Do you really do everything in your power to, in every case; do all that you can to earn your fee? Some do, but many do not. Most of us have probably received a “clean up” assignment. That is one where our employer stresses the need for accuracy and that they probably would “lose their client” if the job was re-botched.

A Closing saved is a Closing earned
A perfect error free package is a joy to receive. All the right boxes were checked and the fill in information was properly entered. Of course the signatures, initials and notarizations were a joy to behold. No need to call anyone, it was done, and done completely right the first time. They are not going to call Ghost Busters Notary for the next job – they call the provider of perfection.

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November 21, 2020

What are dangerous places for a Notary to be?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 8:25 am

Female Notaries think a lot more about safety than males do. But, even big strong guys can get into danger. If someone is crazy, they might attack anyone, even a big strong guy with a military background.

People’s houses at night.
Going to people’s houses sounds scary. But, in real life, if they have been screened for a Mortgage, they do not stand much of a chance of being dangerous, at least in my experience. However, their neighborhood might not be good at night.

On the other hand, going to a house for a single document might be dangerous. You don’t know who these people are, they have not been screened, and you might be going there at night.

Realistically, the danger is more than you will get into a car accident or bitten by a dog than have an incident with a crazy human being. In my twenty years in this industry I have heard of one Notary getting pushed down some stairs. That is out of 60,000 Notaries on hundreds of millions of assignments.

You might be okay at the house but run into gangs at the local gas station – it happened to me, and we covered it. I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two.

You might be at a tenement building and some rowdy intoxicated people might be outside. I have heard of this happening once in The Bronx. You could also get harassed by hoodlums on your way back to your car. It might be time to have the appointment at a Starbucks in a better neighborhood. But, it’s up to you.

Nursing homes
If you notarize at nursing homes, your chance of ending up in court is high. That is another type of danger.

Cafes
Some Notaries might notarize at a cafe late at night. Our local taco place is notorious for having crazy people, arguments, and police. The problem is that the police don’t seem to be there at the same time as the crazy people. Just because you are at a “safe” neutral location doesn’t mean a meth addict won’t walk in and start trouble. Being afraid of your clients is a legitimate fear, but the real danger is more likely from a drug addict, bad driver, or inclement weather.

Jails
Many Notaries are afraid to notarize at a jail. That is the safest place to notarize because the bad guys are on the OTHER side of the bars and there is tight security and check points.

The Street
If you notarize on your trunk on the street, you could get hit by a car. I had to park illegally and made the signer come out to sign on my trunk. They complained. I said that this is the only way I could do it otherwise I would have to leave as there was no place to park.

General Tips
It is generally a good idea to be aware of high risk individuals. Those who seem intoxicated or who are acting unusually. People might seem agitated, angry, or afraid for example. Additionally, people might get upset if you refuse to do an illegal notarization and that could trigger a situation. Other people might get upset that their rate is higher than expected. You need to know what to say and how to handle these types of situations. Personally, I have been to about 6000 total signings two thirds of which were loans. I have never been in a dangerous situation. The only disconcerting situations I have had involved animals and gang bangers who were “around” when I went to bad areas to do signings. But, these dogs and gangsters didn’t actually actively do anything to threaten me — I just felt threatened by their presence. Maybe I am worried about nothing. Maybe I overreact to certain things because I am not from that type of neighborhood and because I don’t like dogs.

As a rule, use your senses, and if you feel something is not right, step out. Also, make sure you know your escape route, because there is a small possibility you might need to use it.

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August 23, 2019

More on bad boy Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:49 pm

I wrote a blog article about the difference between bad boy Notaries and “nice” Notaries. It seems that “nice” Notaries are basically not nice at all, but a bunch of losers who want to attain other’s positive opinion and never assert themselves. The intrinsic meaning of “nice” means that you care for others which is very different from caring about how others think of you which is selfish in a lame sort of a way.

Here are some more things a bad boy Notary could do.

1. The “nice” guy Notary arrives in his Toyota Corolla or Honda, parks on the street even if he has to walk three blocks.
The bad boy Notary arrives at the signing driving a Harley. Of course, if the Harley was really noisy that would add to the bad boy appeal.

2. The ‘nice” guy Notary read copious reviews on buying the most sensible laser printer on the market, yet ends up with one that is broken half the time and works at the speed of a snail because his budget was too small. The bad boy Notary invests in a mega printer that spits out 40 pages per minute (on a bad minute) and never breaks, and also has a three year guarantee. When the bad boy Notary introduces his printer he says, and I quote, “check out this bad boy.”

3. The “nice” guy Notary neatly stacks the blank pages (if any) in the stack of loan documents. The bad boy Notary
makes spitballs out of the blank pages in the stack of loan documents, or makes paper airplanes. Japanese bad boys prefer to do origami with the blank pages and show off their Yakuza tattoos and explain the story of each tattoo. The bad boy notary could also play hang man with customers using blank pages (and even hang them if they lose.)

4. The “nice” guy Notary refuses to answer phone calls during the signing because he feels it might upset the client. The bad boy Notary realizes that he will miss his next job assignment as well as tomorrow’s job assignments if he misses phone calls, texts and emails, so he is watching them like a hawk. Moreover, he is concerned that his various lady friends might call while at the signing and he definitely doesn’t want to miss their calls.

5. The “nice” guy Notary explains to the borrower why page three on the 1003 is left blank and then gets funny looks. The bad boy Notary plays tic tac toe with the customer using page three of the 1003. Sounds kind of lame, but is a way to use the page that says, “this page intentionally left blank.”

6. The “nice” guy Notary invests big bucks going to all of the NNA conferences, learns some, and makes a handful of connections that he could have made by making a few phone calls. The bad boy Notary reads Jeremy’s blog and masters the materials in the free courses, gets a few mentors by networking with Jeremy, Carmen and the other more experienced people in the industry, AND, writes sarcastic and mildly inappropriate responses to Jeremy’s blogs… (hmmm, sounds like Ken.)

7. The “nice” guy Notary let’s his customers rack up a huge bill without complaining. After all, he is afraid that they will stop sending business his way. The bad boy Notary has a credit limit with customers which he expects them to honor. If the don’t he will cancel a job at the last minute and send a text saying, “Paypal what you owe me or find another Notary, punk!” Ouch! Once again, sounds a little like Ken, except Ken asks to be paid up front as a standard business practice. I wonder if Ken wears a leather jacket? Ken also doesn’t call people punks… he calls them turkeys instead. (gobble gobble.)

8. The “nice” guy Notary wants to attracts any client he can and is afraid to lose any client. The bad boy Notary realizes that there are some people with more time than money, and others with more money and less time — he prefers the latter and charges them appropriately. If the client is not in a position to pay big and pay fast, bad boy Notary doesn’t have a use for them.

9. The “nice” guy Notary carries pepper spray in the car just in case. Better safe than sorry. The bad boy Notary carries pepper spray in the car, on his person, a gun, has a knife collection and a club. After all, you never know what is coming. Additionally, bad boy Notary always sits closest to the door not because he is afraid — he is just thinking ahead of the game just in case something happens. You always have to have an escape plan.

10. The “nice” guy Notary always brags that he knows what he is doing and talks endlessly about his “experience.” The bad boy Notary is certified five times over and keeps his cool when talking to clients. He answers questions the way they were ask, and doesn’t try to insert little self-promoting statements into the conversation when unnecessary. He figures if someone wants to know about his background in Escrow or the 10,000 loans he signed (or claims to have signed) they will ask. He plays it cool and gets the job, because he is very professional and not at all annoying contrary to the “nice” Notary who falls on his face trying to do a snow job or smoke screen.

So, there you have it. Nice guys finish last not because they are nice, but because they are lame and unprepared, not to mention stupid. Stay ahead of the game and be a bad boy Notary. But, perhaps without the Harley as that pointer is not that critical. However the Harley jacket has been scientifically proven to attract babes.

You might also like:

Are you a bad boy Notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22380

Ken’s take on how to be a bad boy-girl, person, Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22374

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March 24, 2019

A list of things you probably forgot to put in your notes section

Filed under: Your Notes Section — Tags: , — admin @ 4:34 am

Most Notaries write a notes section for their listing on 123notary. However, many do not know what to write. Here are some things you should write about. Take this as a check list.

Experience
Write about the types of loans or documents you know how to sign. Write about the type of work you did before you were a Notary or what distinguishes your experience as a notary. How many loans as well as how many years would also help the reader get an idea of what type of experience you have. Read more by clicking the link below…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19052

Additional Information
Your certifications, courses taken, E&O, background screening, etc., Don’t forget to write about this because people do care.

Equipment
If you have special equipment, portable printers, scanners, fax machines, inverters, etc., people want to read about this. But, don’t put it up top as this is supplemental information. Experience and selling features go up top.

Special Skills
Are you bilingual? Do you visit hospitals or jails? How about a wide radius? Are you on the white glove list somewhere? Do you take credit cares or square? Put this up top as it is a selling feature.

Areas Covered
Your radius, counties or cities covered go at the bottom and there are 12 boxes to put your counties covered which includes your home county. We discourage putting zip codes as the list gets very long and messy and nobody wants to read it.

About You
This is the most misunderstood aspect of notes writing. Most people cannot write about themselves other than a long string of adjectives. Any idiot can write about how responsible and reliable they are and the more they claim these adjectives the less true I find them to be. However, describing yourself with specific facts is more helpful as well as credible. The fact you have an MBA, worked with the elderly at a nursing home for ten years or are ex-military are real facts about you. The fact you triple check your work and have your local FedEx stations memorized is fact vs. fluff.

Catchy Phrases
It is hard for most people to write a catchy phrase, but it can really pay off. People are bored with reading 1000 notes sections that all seem very similar. It sometimes looks like the same person wrote all of the notes sections on Notary Rotary… “I am reliable, background screened and have 50,000 E&O. I have signed many loans and do a lot of refinances.” After you see this a few thousand times you start seeing double. Put something unique and organized for a change. We wrote a few articles (that I linked below) on catchy phrases in notes sections and you should read those.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14690

Buzzwords to avoid
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19054

You might also like:
Examples of great notes sections
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18862

How to write a notes section
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16698

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January 15, 2019

Notary Etiquette 104 — The initial call

Filed under: Etiquette — Tags: — admin @ 11:27 am

Return to Table of Contents for – Notary Etiquette 104

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1. Introduce yourself
Introduce yourself properly by phone when you answer the initial call to hire you. “This is June of June’s Notary Service” is a lot better than, “Hullo?” High-brow clients will judge you by how you answer the phone, so answer like a professional if you want to be treated like one.

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2. Answer questions the way they were asked.
If someone asks what your hours are, tell them your beginning and ending times. Don’t say “it depends” and don’t be vague. Give them a clear picture of your availability without making them ask again. If someone asks how many loans you have signed, don’t give them a summary of your professional background, just give them a quick number. If someone asks if you are still in business, don’t tell them you are eating dinner or on vacation, just tell them that you are still in business. Just answer the question.

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3. No background noise
Screaming children, televisions, or people talking in the background sound unprofessional. You need to turn the TV off, go into the next room where there is no noise, and apologize if there is any noise. That is called being professional. If you are in a restaurant, there might not be much you can do, so at least let the caller know where you are and that you cannot do anything about the noise at least for the time being.

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4. Don’t scramble information
Asking people to repeat endlessly is horrible. If your phone is horrible, get a new one rather than accuse the other person of breaking up. If someone asks if you can do a notarization for two signers on three documents, don’t repeat it back to them as, “Okay, three signers on how many documents?” That is called scrambling information and sounds ignorant.

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5. Don’t brag
Notary Signing Agents have the desire to overprove themselves. The secret is to make a good impression by being helpful and not shoving your credentials down someone’s throat. It also makes a good impression to ask a few relevant questions about the type of signing or document. Asking a few pertinent questions looks professional. Show the world how good you are without trying. Just politely and calmly answer people’s questions and they will get the impression you are a seasoned pro and not an overanxious newbie.

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6. Act calm
Acting calm and helpful is a lot better than acting anxious and overly helpful or overly unhelpful. People get put off by desperate or unfriendly behavior. Seasoned signers normally act calm. Signers that are over-seasoned are too calm because they don’t care if they get the job because they want to retire, so don’t be too nonchalant either.

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7. Speak clearly and listen
There is nothing worse than a Notary who mumbles or speaks unclearly. With such Notaries you have to keep asking for clarification as to what they said. And what’s worse, when southerners say the word “bell” it sounds like “bail” and you have to ask them if they meant b.e.l.l. or b.a.i.l… Why can’t we all just be Yankees? Then, there are the Notaries who aren’t paying attention who have to ask you to repeat half of what you say. They are very unpleasant to work with, so please listen carefully when talking to clients.

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8. Confirmation calls
During the confirmation call, it is practical to ask the borrower to prepare for the signing by having a clean dining room table, have animals out of reach, children taken care of, and no noise. Make sure all parties will be there early, have identification, and have any documents or checks going back to the lender or title. It is better if the borrower leaves their outside light on so the Notary can find the house more easily.

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9. Answering machines
Your answering machine should not have unprofessional sounding music. I cannot say what unprofessional music sounds like. Some people have Vivaldi that is just too loud while others have hip hop music. Just be sensitive to how this music would sound to a hiring party and use your judgment.

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10. Grammar
Do you use bad grammar? It don’t matter. Well, actually it does. People judge you in all sorts of ways, so try to use proper grammar as that is part of etiquette.

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December 16, 2018

Beginner Notaries 103 — What beginners need to know

Filed under: Popular on Twitter,Technical & Legal — admin @ 12:44 pm

Return to Table of Contents – Beginner Notaries 103

As a beginner Notary, there is a lot you need to know. Many things that experienced Notaries take for granted might take you a year or two to find out. Here are some quick pointers that might be valuable.

1. Your Listing’s Performance.
Listings on 123notary for new Notaries can give you miracle performance. However, no matter how much you pay for a listing on 123notary, the listing will not perform well unless you have a good notes section, reviews, and it helps a lot if you are 123notary certified (especially for newer Notaries.)

2. Your Profile’s Notes Section
Listings that lack a good notes section typically get ignored as that is the first piece of information that companies look for when they are hiring. If your notes are blank, short, or incomplete, your incoming phone log from companies will be equally blank. People want to get a sense of who you are, your professional background, and your skills before they invest in a phone call. Additionally, notes sections with spelling or grammar mistakes will be a huge issue for title companies who will bypass you if they have any cause for concern. 123notary’s blog has an entire section on how to write a great notes section with dozens of unique articles.

3. Notary Reviews
Reviews are your ticket to success. Never mind how great you say you are, talk is cheap if you are complimenting yourself. But, what your customers, especially title companies say about you really matters to those thinking of hiring you. 123notary has many articles about how to get reviews, so I suggest becoming an expert on the topic.

4. Reading Suggestions
Notaries should ideally read Notary blogs, forums, visit the NNA & 123notary Facebook groups (but not the private groups), newsletters, courses, handbooks, and anything else that could be considered helpful. Getting Notary advice from semi-unemployed Notaries who frequent Facebook is a very poor idea. Get your official Notary advice only from your state Notary division and no other source otherwise you might be very sorry.

Smart Notaries and dumb notaries alike realize that they need to spend time reading to keep up. Smart Notaries get courses from helpful companies and improve their skill sets. Smart Notaries also read what other Notaries say about various signing companies as some signing companies are not the best bet to work for. Dumb Notaries spend their time gossiping with other disgruntled Notaries on various private Facebook groups that generally engage in a lot of complaining and bashing. These dumb Notaries are also dumb enough to get Notary advice from Notaries on these groups who don’t know what they are doing. It is a perfect example of what Jesus said about the blind leading the blind. Get your notary advice from your state notary division. If you get any notary advice from any other source, cross check it with your state. We teach general notary concepts here at 123notary, but we cannot say with any certainty of our principles apply to your state.

5. Experience Counts
Signing and especially Title companies typically do not want to hire someone with less than two years of experience unless they are confident about that person’s knowledge. If you have an escrow background or are certified by 123notary, that will help compensate for your lack of experience. Knowing your documents inside out will help as well which would be a side effect of our certification.

6. Low-Ball Signing Companies
Companies that hire newer signing agents are generally not fun to work for. They require fax backs, micromanage, pay poorly and might nag you a lot. They have to, otherwise they would not be able to hire beginners and provide a high level of accuracy to their clients. So, expect to be treated like a child. Once you get some experience under your belt, you might be able to start accumulating title company clients little by little. On our blog we publish a list of companies that will hire beginners. You should talk to every company on that list.

7. Getting Title Company Work
Migrating from signing companies to working for title companies (who usually pay more, but how much more depends on how the industry is doing) is something people do as they gain experience, knowledge and skill. However, most Notaries cannot work purely for title companies after two years. It sometimes takes many more years before all of your clients are high paying wonderful clients who you love working for. So, there will be a lot of paying your dues.

8. Notary Etiquette
Most Notaries do not have good phone answering skills, nor do they have good communication skills. Having good Notary etiquette and good business skills can help you succeed. If your business skills are not completely up to par, it might be good to read our articles about etiquette and brush up. Answering the phone stating your name is a first. Answering questions the way they were asked without rambling on and on matters too. Accepting instruction from others and not engaging in bragging or whining matters a lot as well. Good etiquette will make you popular with all parties.

9. Notary Education
All Notaries need to study up and be experts at their state’s notary laws. But, knowing how to handle situations, and knowing your documents matters just as much. Reading blogs is a good way to keep informed, but there is no substitute for taking actual classes. For newer Notaries, passing our certification test is a great way to gain credibility as well.

10. Risks and Liability
It is risky being a Notary. 15% of our long term full-time Notaries have been to court at least once generally as a witness. A few Notaries even get sued or end up in legal trouble that can cost them big bucks. It behooves you to keep good records and follow Notary law to a T. Understanding Notary law is not enough. You need to know how to explain to clients what you can and cannot do as well as explain to a judge why you did what you did in a particular situation. One lady turned down a Notarization on correct grounds, got sued and lost because she could not communicate clearly to the judge what her reason was for declining the notarization. You also need to have direct communication with all signers and make sure people are aware of what they are signing, particularly if they are elderly. The Notary does not need to understand the documents, but the signers do, otherwise you might end up in court.

11. Your Attitude
Most Notaries have the attitude that they already know it all and there is nothing more that they need to know. Those who are NNA certified think of themselves as blessings to the industry. The fact is that those who have passed NNA’s test typically get very poor grades on our test. There is always more to learn in this business. It is best to stay open, assume that you do not know everything, and accept criticism from those in hiring capacities or those who run Notary agencies (like me.) You will be more popular with all parties involved if you are open to suggestion and take guidance from those who are a lot more experienced and knowledgeable than you are.

12. Advertising on 123notary.
Companies that pay well love 123notary. However, they typically only hire from the top of the list. If you are not in the top three or top five, you will probably only hear from companies that don’t pay that well. Top spots are not always available, so what should you do? Get the best spot you can, and then try to pass our certification, write a good notes section, and keep getting reviews. That way if a better spot opens up, I will be likely to give it to you rather than someone else. I give open spots to the most qualified member downline, so while you are waiting, try to work on your merit, so that you get the promotion!

13. Marketing Plan
Do you have a marketing plan? Many Notaries just wing it. That is not advisable. We suggest having a definitive, well thought out written plan. You can discuss that plan with others too for suggestions.

14. 123notary is here to help.
Smart Notaries come to us with questions, or ask for help with their notes section. We are here as a resource and much of our help is completely free. Dumb Notaries complain that we scrutinize them to maintain our standards, but smart Notaries take advantage of our free assistance. In the long run, which type of Notary do you think gets ahead?

15. Researching Signing Companies
Not all signing companies are good bets to work for. Read about them in the various forums to get more info. Additionally, Notary Rotary has something called Signing Central where you can look up ratings for the various signing companies. 123notary has a list of signing companies with reviews.

Good luck, and I hope you enjoy this short course.

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March 19, 2018

Notary Marketing 102 — About You

Filed under: Loan Signing 101 — admin @ 7:51 am

Return to Notary Marketing 102 Notes Tutorial

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This article continues the discussion about notes sections in your 123notary profile. The below information is about the upper middle of your notes section:

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2. About You
You should write what is unique about you after you finish your top section. Many Notaries do not know what to say about themselves. The point here is to write about what is different about you that stands out. If you are the same as other Notaries there might not be much to write about. Do you have unusual equipment? Do you work at a company with multiple Notaries? Do you have special training? Do you have a professional background that helps make you a better Notary such as being a Mortgage or Title worker? Some people have a police or military background that might help handling stressful situations or being more disciplined or orderly. If you are able to write a catchy phrase about your work that would be great too. Below is an itemization of what to write in the second paragraph:

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Professional Background — Write about your work experience and what you used to do for a living before you were a Notary. People want to know who you are before they call you. Whether you were an acrobat, teacher, or Joe the cable guy, put that in your profile in this section. The most valuable types of experience are Mortgage and Escrow. Real Estate is business-like, but not as related as Realtors think. Being a Paralegal or Legal Assistant helps a little as well, but not as much as people think. A background in law enforcement or the military is actually very helpful as you know how to be disciplined and deal with tough situations.

What is Unique About You — Try to think about what is unique about how you do your work. Do you triple check your work? Do you arrive early and wait? Do you have all of the Fedex stations within 100 miles memorized? Do you bring crayons and dog treats to the signing? Do you love meeting new people? This type of information means a lot to people, and you should not omit it.

Avoid Adjectives — Do not tell the world you are adjective, adjective and adjective. Anyone can claim to be responsible, reliable and professional. This counts against you if you include it, as Title companies are tired of hearing it and think it is fake. The most unreliable Notaries claim to be reliable, so by claiming you are reliable, the message received is that you are full of it.

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Additional Reading:

Unique Phrases from Notary Notes over the years
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14690

What goes where in your notes?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1076

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