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January 8, 2011

10 reasons why the State Notary divisions should be nationalized.

Filed under: Public Interest — admin @ 1:23 am

Normally I am in favor of state rights. But, as far as Notary Public issues are concerned, the states are not doing a good job except for California for whom I would give a C. Here are some compelling reasons why the notary divisions should be nationalized.

1. Education
Most states either do not have educational programs for Notaries, or don’t have very good educational programs. The state notary handbooks have a variety of laws and practices, but do not generally spell out exactly how to interpret or apply laws or what to do in particular situations that arise regularly that could cause confusion or danger. Some states have too many laws which make it hard to learn them all. While other states have too few laws. If we would have just the right amount of laws, and those laws would be nationalized, and well taught, there would be a higher percent of highly informed Notaries who do their job correctly at all times which is my goal.

2. Testing
Not all states have a Notary Test. Those that do have a Notary test normally have a multiple choice written test. Testing people on nitpicky legal issues is fine and dandy, but if a Notary cannot fill in a journal or forms correctly then what good are they? Hands on testing and testing people to see how they handle curve-balls such as legal requests that seem illegal or illegal requests that seem legal is absolutely necessary in my opinion.

3. Auditing
Notaries get away with all sorts of mischief in all states. Most Notaries not only omit legally required Oaths, but claim not to understand my instructions when I ask them to give me an Oath on a document. Many Notaries do not keep their journal correctly which is a danger to society. If there is identity theft, the journal is the only means to know what happened at a transaction and the journal thumbprint is the only way the FBI can catch the bad guys in many cases. Notaries nationwide need to be checked up upon once or twice a year to make sure they are not doing anything wrong. For the government to have time to check up on everyone, there needs to be fewer Notaries otherwise the job would take too long.

4. Standardization of Notary Acts
There are many variations on Notary Acts from state to state. It can be confusing for interstate transactions and for people who run nationwide Notary associations. It is easier if there are standardized acts nationwide and standardized laws.

5. Thumbprinting
Many Notaries on 123notary helped the FBI catch some awful criminals who did Ponzi schemes, identity theft and more. It was the thumbprint that was the critical piece of evidence that helped catch the bad guys. Most Notaries outside of CA feel they should not have to take thumbprints. Having national laws requiring thumbprints is the only way to safeguard society from cons.

6. Quality Standards
Before a prospective Notary takes a course, they should take a quick IQ test and personality test to see if they are well adjusted to be a Notary Public. Someone with an IQ of 100-120 who is anal, picky, has tremendous integrity, and follows the law to the letter and fills out forms correctly every time would be the ideal candidate to be a Notary. People who have screws loose are dangerous as Notaries because they will accept illegal requests becuase they can’t keep the law straight in their head. I find this out during testing as my over the phone test asks people which situations are acceptable to notarize and more than half of our Notaries decline legal requests while accepting illegal requests. Quality control is easier on a national level to make sure all Notaries know what they are doing to a T.

7. Notary Fees
Most states have ridiculously low Notary Fees. To attract good Notaries, Notary fees need to be at least $20 for the first Notary act and at least $40 for a travel fee for jobs more than 25 minutes away. Notaries in states that pay 50 cents for a Notary act tend not to be very good Notaries. Can you imagine why?

My recommendations

1. Four days of Notary education training that covers laws, processes, identifying people, administering Oaths, form filling, journals, and dealing with legal vs. illegal requests. One day of training is not enough to do a thorough job of covering all the bases here. Additionally, a refresher course for a few hours once or twice a year might help keep knowledge solidly in a Notary’s head as well.

2. A written and hands on test that could be one on one makes sense. What good is knowing the law if you don’t know how to fill in necessary forms?

3. Higher fees to become a Notary. To weed out applicants that are not serious, higher fees and more days of school will weed out people who don’t absolutely want to become a Notary Public.

4. The government should check up on Notaries at least once per year to make sure they are not skimping on responsibilities or accepting illegal requests. An undercover government worker could coerce the Notary to do something illegal to see if the Notary would comply and then fine the Notary if the Notary complied.

5. State websites (taken over by the Feds) should spell out all Notary situations and applications of laws. Identification standards should be the most emphasized as that is a huge area of contention. Names on ID’s do not always exactly match names on documents and formal standards for handling every type of mismatch should be documented on websites.

6. Most states do not make it clear that an Acknowledged signature can be signed (in 44 states) prior to appearing before the Notary Public. Most Notaries are falsely under the impression that they need to witness acknowledged signatures. What good are laws if the laws are not clearly explained? This is the most clear cut example of a law that is misinterpreted more than it is correctly interpreted. Thank God I went to a good Notary school when I became a Notary!

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January 6, 2011

The curse of the Notary mummy

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:28 am

A few years back, and Egyptologist went to Giza to do some research one some new findings. There were mummies buried in a chamber far deeper in the pyramid that had never been discovered before. The maps of the interior of the pyramid did not include this room and it was discovered using sound technology. The sound technology spotted (perhaps heard would be a better word since it is sound technology) a hollow area far within the ten thousand year old pyramid.

The historian was from America and was very logical. He didn’t believe in curses. After all, we all know that couldn’t possibly be real. So, he ignored the warnings from his Egyptian colleagues and went into the chamber — alone!!! He discovered all types of artifacts and encrypted messages written in hyroglyphics on the wall. It reminded him of his last trip to Hunan Garden where the bill was written in hyroglypics. There was a bird character, some people walking like Egyptians pointing their hands forward, a paper, and then a notary seal. Oh my God. Our historian had discovered an ancient Egyptian Notary Public.

Then he looked further. There were pictographs of the king asking him to administer an Oath. But the Notary said, “Sorry, my state doesn’t require Oaths.” Maybe that’s how the Notary died. He was so poorly trained, that the king or Pharoah had him put to death to teach a lesson to the other Notaries. The other Notaries said, “That’s so unfair—o!” In any case, the Notary must have either been high ranking in the dynasty he lived in or have been from a prominent family to be mummified. Enbalming don’t come cheap, and neither does space in a pyramid. I tried looking up rooms in pyramids on Craig’s list and the prices were astronomical.

In any case, this dumb Egyptologist took the liberty to open the casket and try to move the mummy. Immediately his lamp flickered, his electronic devices suddenly failed. He was all alone, in the dark and screamed — help!!!! Luckily, he was able to feel his way out of the room, down the hall and to his awaiting comrades who were down the hall. His colleagues warned him that terrible things would happen because of what he had done, but he didn’t believe them. After all, this was just a coincidence, right?

Nothing bad happened to that historian. However, many people working for signing companies who don’t pay Notaries reported having dreams of mummies coming unenbalmed following them around. Perhaps the mummy in question did not get paid by ancient Egyptian signing companies and wanted revenge on signing companies, but not on archeologists (hmm). One reported that it was hard to breath and felt something pressing on her chest. Another felt something touching her at night that wasn’t there. Finally the signing companies started to talk to each other. They decided they were being haunted by the spirit of the Notary mummy. Something had to be done. So, finally after a few years of discussions and talking to people in Cairo, they decided to have someone go back into that pyramid into the forbidding chamber and close that casket once and for all.

But, the person chosen to close the casket decided that the mummy would feel much happier if he put a Notary journal in the casket with him to take to the afterlife. They put the journal in, closed the casket, and moved it back to where it had originally been. Then the dreams continued. The mummy said, “My state doesn’t require journals!” People in five different signing companies had this dream.

Finally, they called a Shaman in to solve this for good. The Shaman had a clever plan. He had someone imposter the mummy’s Notary seal, and the mummy’s spirit was called into Notary Court in heaven. The judge asked for evidence of the transaction that the notary allegedly notarized. The Notary explained that his state didn’t require a journal. The judge sentenced him to 100 years in spirit jail. Kind of a harsh sentence, but the bad dreams stopped, and everyone was happy. The Shaman made out well as he got free notary service for life and after-life which was all fine and dandy until he asked for an Oath and the notary said, “Sorry, my state doesn’t require Oaths. Then the Shaman looked up their state handbook, found out that they do indeed do Oaths in the Notary’s state, reported the Notary to the Secretary of State, and the Notary got busted.

To be safe, the shaman decided to put some ancient egyptian money in the casket where the mummy with a note in hyroglyphics that said it was from that ancient Egyptian company that never paid him. The note said — payment plus 3000 years worth of interest.

And so ends the saga of the Notary mummy.
The moral of the story is — never trust a dead Notary who doesn’t keep a journal.

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Alice in Notary Wonderland

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Alice C Butterfield. Little Alice loved to wander around her rich Aunt’s palacial estate. But, she had a habit of sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. Alice would always criticize people for doing the wrong thing. Her aunt didn’t signal a turn once. Alice could not keep her mouth shut and pointed it out. Her uncle Fred inflated a deduction on his taxes which Alice pointed out. How could a nine year old girl know so much about taxes. I guess curiousity knows no bounds.

Alice was sitting near the river with her sister reading a dull book with no pictures. Then, she noticed a rabbit wearing a top coat. She follows the rabbit down a hole, and then falls a very long way down. When she hits bottom she is in a room with many locked doors. But, there is a small bottle on the table with a small note saying, “drink me.” She drinks the contents of the bottle and then shrinks to a very small size.

Then, she saw a small document sitting on the table that she didn’t notice before that says, “notarize me.” Next to the document, there was a small stamp as well. Since Alice was a bookworm, she was well acquainted with the responsibilities of a Notary Public. She knew that a signer would have to appear before her that would produce identification. But, around there, the signer might be an animal wearing human clothing. So, Alice waited and waited, hoping for her signer to come by. After what seemed like a very long time there was a knock on the door. But, which door. There were dozens of doors, each one a different size. There were doors on the ceiling, doors on the floors, walls, and everywhere you looked. There were even doors within doors within doors. Then she heard a voice. “Over here!”

Alice opened a little door and a little mouse with a walking stick appeared. “I’ve been trying to get notarized for years, but can never find a Notary my size. Then, I heard that someone shrunk you and that you could do the job. Can you Notarize me?” Alice replied, “But, I’m not commissioned in the United Kingdom.” Then the mouse explained that in their jurisdiction, any human could execute Notary functions providing they checked ID. So, Alice checked the mouse’s ID and it read, Edgar J Mouse. Alice Notarized him. Then Alice asked, “How will you pay me for my services?” The mouse replied, “Here, I brought you some cheese I stole from a mousetrap.”

Alice ate the cheese. And then she started growing and growing and growing until her head hit the ceiling. “Curiouser and curiouser”, exclaimed Alice. Then, Alice swam down a river of her own tears. She was so sad that she shrank and then grew and didn’t know where she was. So, she swam until she found that little mouse giving a lecture on William the Conqueror.

Alice met a caterpillar who said, “Explain yourself.” Alice said that she couldn’t explain herself because she wasn’t herself. Then the caterpillar said, “Well, what self does your ID say you are? Alice replied, “Alice Butterfield, but I’m really Alice C Butterfield.” Then the caterpillar said, “If you were really Alice C Butterfield, then your ID would reflect that name. It’s time to make a visit to the DMV not isn’t it?”

Alice wandered on until she saw a Cheshire cat that directed her to March Hare’s house. Alice continued on her aimless journey until she became the guest at a mad tea party along with the Hare.

MARCH HARE: Notarize this signature

ALICE: But, this is a blank document with you signature. It wasn’t very civil of you to ask me to notarize something that doesn’t even exist!

MARCH HARE: Well, it wasn’t very civil of you to invite yourself to our tea party at our table.

ALICE: I didn’t know it was your table.

MARCH HARE: Do you say what you mean?

ALICE: Well, I mean what I say.

MARCH HARE: Well then notarize my signature for today’s date. Does your watch have the date?

ALICE: Well no.

MARCH HARE: How about the year?

ALICE: Well the year doesn’t change too quickly so it doesn’t need to tell the year.

MARCH HARE: I think the year just changed. There it goes again. Notarize me for 1899.

ALICE: Why 1899?

MARCH HARE: Why not? Every year is the same around here. Why should it make a difference. That’s why we don’t hurry. Time doesn’t matter.

ALICE: But, time does matter. You have to beat time.

MARCH HARE: Time might not take to kindly if you beat it, but hurry up before it turns 1901. I want to be notarized this century.

ALICE: How can the year change multiple times within the time-frame of one afternoon?

Then Alice found a tree with a door in it. She went through the door and into a long hall. She ended up at a palace run by a very angry queen.

QUEEN: Who are you?

ALICE: I am Alice.

QUEEN: What I mean is what does it say on your commission?

ALICE: Alice C Butterfield, but my ID only says Alice Butterfield.

QUEEN: Nonsense! And when is our commission expiration date?

ALICE: 1897, but now it is 1901.

QUEEN: Actually it was 1901 a few hours ago, now it is 1905. It will continue being 1905 until sunset and then tomorrow morning it will be 1896 which will give you a few days to complete any necessary notarizations.

ALICE: But, I thought time always moved forwards.

QUEEN: Why should it. Do you always move forwards?

ALICE: Hmm, I never thought about it like that.

QUEEN: Well I don’t like your middle name. Off with your middle initial.

KING: But, she is just a child.

QUEEN: I hate C’s. They are so mediocre. And off with their heads — of the gardeners. They fowled up my rose bush. It took years to grow it and then it shrank. Hmm. Perhaps because time moved backwards. Here is my signature. Study it intently, and then notarize it.

CAT: So, how do you like the queen’s signature

ALICE: Well actually, not at all. It’s extremely (noticing that the queen was right behind her) — likely to win.

EXECUTIONER: I can’t cut off a head unless it has a body attached to it.

ALICE: And what if you cut off the wrong head? Shouldn’t you check the ID?

QUEEN: The ID of the head or the ID of the body?

CAT: Is there more than one? (grinning)

ALICE: And what if the ID expired, after all it must be 1910 by now and the DMV has ID’s expire after only four years in England these days.

QUEEN: Yes, but if the ID shows a physical likeness, then it should be okay.

ALICE: To make sure the ID isn’t fake, you could ask them what their date of birth is and then confirm the date with teh ID.

QUEEN: You are a crafty one aren’t you.

ALICE: Besides, beheading someone is so extreme. Why not just cut off part of their name, initial, or a Jr. or Sr. at the end of their name. That will teach them a lesson.

QUEEN: Yes, I rather like that. John W. Smith will have to live the rest of his life being John Smith. I like this. That is much more fun than beheading someone. Off with their initials!

ALICE: But, you shouldn’t remove an initial without a porpoise.

QUEEN: Well we shall have that decided in court.

(in court)

RABBIT: I submit my evidence that the gardner did not submit evidence that he ruined the rose bushes. Someone wrote a statement about the rose bushes, but it wasn’t signed.

ALICE: Yes, if it wasn’t signed, then how will we know who wrote it.

QUEEN: Well, as long as my roses are ruined, what difference does it make?

CHESHIRE CAT: Perhaps we should do a handwriting analysis.

KNAVE: We could go back into time and have him sign it. Time is supposed to roll back tonight.

ALICE: But, there’s no meaning in this.

KING: So, if there is no meaning, then why look for a meaning?

(later that night)

ALICE: If you sign this document, they will know you ruined the rose bushes

GARDENER: Yes, but now that time has rolled back, I can change my statement and then sign it.

ALICE: That is a good idea. And it will be 1897 after midnight, so my commission will be in effect then.

GARDENER: Here is my statement and my signature. Please notarize it.

ALICE: Gladly. But, the stamp I am using is one I used when I was two inches tall.

GARDENER: That’s no problem. I’ll just make my signature extra small to match. Here.

ALICE: I’ll deliver this to the queen in the morning.

QUEEN: Yes, the statement is excellent. He did not ruin my roses, or so he claims. But, that poses a new problem. Who shall I behead?

SISTER: Wake up Alice

ALICE: Oh, I have had such a curious dream. There was this mad queen who went around beheading people and a cat, and a lizard, plus a March Hare. But, none of it was real.

SISTER: What is that in your pocket? It seems to be leaking a black fluid…

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The Notary can be named as a suspect if their record keeping is flawed

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — admin @ 1:07 am

I test Notaries by phone daily to see if they are fit to be on my site. The results of the testing are that I have to accept people who shouldn’t be Notaries just because I’m desperate for people in certain remote areas. However, bad Notarial record keeping is not only a headache for me during testing. It is dangerous for society and for the Notary as well. Failing to keep thumbprints makes it impossible for the FBI to catch identity thieves. ID’s can be falsified, so without hard evidence like a thumbprint, you cannot catch the bad guys. However, there’s more.

When the FBI interviews a Notary during an identity fraud case, the Notary is considered a suspect. After all, they were involved in the transaction. You might not think of yourself as a suspect, but the Feds do, because it would be easy for you to be involved, especially if you don’t keep your books correctly.

If your books are filled out with one journal entry per person per document, and each entry is signed and with a thumbprint — that is thorough bookkeeping. Less than 10% of Notaries nationwide keep their journal completely correctly. Here are some ways you could make yourself look more suspicious and perhaps end up in court for a long time.

1. If you put multiple documents in each journal entry, the signer or FBI could claim that you added extra documents AFTER the signing to defraud the signer. You cannot prove that you did not add those documents after the signing, so your hands are tied. This is why you have the signed sign off for each document which you cannot do unless there is a separate journal entry for each document.

2. If you put “loan docs” in a journal entry without specifying the exact names of the loan documents in separate journal entries, you could be accused of forging signatures on additional documents. Since you didn’t record which exact documents you notarized, you could claim anything and there is no evidence one way or the other to prove your innocence.

3. If you use one journal entry for more than one signer you create a mess as multiple signers would have to sign a journal entry where their ID information probably would not fit.

4. If you simply do not keep a journal as it is not required by law in your state you could be easily considered a suspect in identity theft and would have zero evidence to prove your innocence.

5. If you keep proper journal entries, but refuse to thumbprint the signer on a Deed or Power of Attorney (serious documents that affect people’s lives and property) you could be accused of concealing the signer’s true identity if they used a false identification card forged in China ($200 market price by the way.)

6. If you think an ID is the real person because the ID looks like him. Consider that in Iraq, ISIS kills people and sells their passports to other people who look similar for about 1200 Euros.

7. There are corrupt people at the DMV who make falsified driver’s licenses which look real because they are real, but with falsified information. Those bad people normally get caught eventually, but have a good run for a while creating all types of chaos in society. Many were charging $500 for a false ID so I heard.

If you keep proper journal entries and thumbprints, it will be more clear to investigators and judges that you take identifying signers very seriously and cover your tracks in case there is any hanky panky. ID’s can be forged, but you cannot forge a thumbprint unless you wear a latex pad on your thumb with someone else’s prints which the Notary would easily detect. Cover your tracks, and your court cases will be dismissed faster based on the experiences of the Notaries on our site!

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January 5, 2011

Psychically channeling Putin for Notary advice

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 10:15 am

I run a Notary directory, but I also know how to channel spirits and living entities. I might not be great at it, but get great business advice from doing exactly that. But, I decided to channel Putin as he is a very strategic guy. Here is how the channeling interview went.

JEREMY: Hello, Mr. Putin, how are things?

PUTIN: eh.. okay!

JEREMY: I wanted to ask you a few things about the Notary industry. You see, in America which seems intent on disintegrating into a third world country as fast as possible, we have some backwards things going on in the Notary industry.

PUTIN: Yes, tell me…

JEREMY: Well, you know during the cold war in Russia, you would hire someone to clean the gutter, and someone else to watch the guy cleaning the gutter, and a third guy to watch the guy watching the guy who was cleaning the gutter, etc. The problem was that the government pretended to pay, and the workers pretended to work. Communism might function better as an economic model if people had a reason to get up in the morning.

PUTIN: Have you tried Russian coffee?

JEREMY: No, is that a reason to get up in the morning?

PUTIN: No, it is a reason to not get up in the morning. It’s horrible. Stick with Starbucks double shots. Yummy.

JEREMY: I think you should drink one while riding a horse without a shirt on. That image works for you.

PUTIN: Thanks. I take pride in being shirtless, among other things.

JEREMY: Yes, it looks good, plus you rack up a lot less of a laundry bill.

PUTIN: Oh, I don’t have to worry about that. The government pays mine.

JEREMY: Oh, well in that case, maybe you should wear two shirts simultaneously. Or wear one, and then immediately change into another.

PUTIN: Yes, I tried that. That reminds me of a line from Coming To America, where the African king said, “I once tied my own shoes… I assure you that the experience is over-rated.”

JEREMY: Good point. In any case, The Notary divisions are not watching the Notaries, except a little in California. And nobody is watching the Notary divisions. If we had an effective set of checks and balances, who should watch the Notary divisions which are state run?

PUTIN: The Feds.

JEREMY: And who should watch the Feds?

PUTIN: We should.

JEREMY: So, if there is a problem in a Notary division, will you write a letter to your pal Donald?

PUTIN: Actually, we did, but we did not get paid due to budget cuts. I blame it on the Republican party.

JEREMY: So our government pretends to pay you and you pretend to watch them?

PUTIN: No, we watch them, we just don’t provide services with the information we get when we watch them. But, we try to learn military secrets and find out who is cheating on their wives.

JEREMY: What a comforting thought — not. But, last month, I had a dream that someone in the CIA was concerned that you were not spying on them enough. Fred at the CIA got so concerned in fact that he wrote you a letter asking you if something was wrong.

PUTIN: Oh, yes, well , um, we do our best. You cannot ask for more than that.

JEREMY: Good point. In any case, my opinion on your idea to slowly grow your empire is as follows. Taking over Ukraine will cause tremendous unrest. And what’s the point? It is just another place just like the seemingly infinite land you already have. It might better to save your money and just buy a Greek island. They are broke and could use the money, and you guys could use a place that is warm.

PUTIN: Yes, but that would not involve a show of force, so where is the pleasure in that?

JEREMY: Well maybe you could have some other type of controversy with the Greeks about their debts where you could strong-arm them and show your superiority without any actual violence.

PUTIN: Actually, I like that. I will think about that. I am a little distracted. My friend is teaching some Shostakovich to his child in the next room. He keeps saying, “No, no, even though it sounds wrong, it’s still not right.”

.

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January 4, 2011

Comedy Central Notary Roast

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:29 pm

JEREMY: Welcome to the first Comedy Central Notary Roast. World class comedians are about to “pay tribute to” our Notary of the hour, Alex!

Welcome an old hand at roasting, and I do mean old, ladies and gentlemen, the mouth that roared, but never bored, Don Rickles.

DON RICKLES: Thank you for that incredible honor. A sign your career is in the dumper – when you’re trashing a notary instead of what you usually do – ignoring one. “Sign”. That’s Alex’s idea of a good time. Dreamt big, huh, Alex? What’s the matter – being a lawn jockey was already taken? But no, without notaries, where would this country be? Beating the Chinese, that’s where we’d be. A lot of help you’ve been, you dumb hocky puck. I kid Alex, but all kidding aside, the next time I need something certified, I’ll be sure to give you a call. Am I allowed to certify that you’re boring, or do I need my seal for that? (BARKING LIKE A SEAL)

JEREMY: Thank you, Don RIckles! That man always makes me laugh. But then again, so does diphtheria. And now, speaking of diseases, please welcome the woman who’s been sanitized for our protection, except when it comes to her mouth… Amy Schumer!

AMY SCHUMER: Thank you! Don, I don’t care how old you are, I’d still do you. Then again, I’d do a banana. So nice to be here honoring Alex. Notaries are so hot! But don’t make me swear to that under penalty of perjury. Then again I &$%!! swear all the time. Alex, show me your seal, and I’ll show you my seal of approval. Oh no, Alex is having a heart attack! I guess the excitement of hearing the first woman in history come on to a notary was too much for him. Oh, never mind. It’s not a heart attack after all. He’s clutching the pen in his pocket protector, not his heart. Alex, let your hair down and leave the work at your office! Your office – that’s your car, right? Oh, it’s his home. Well, at least you can afford a car/home. It’s a rental? Sorry Alex. I’ll stick with the banana.

JEREMY: Thank you, Amy Schumer! You remind me of Times Square on New Year’s Eve… trashy. And now let’s give it up for… Chris Rock!

CHRIS ROCK: I’m not surprised to see that Alex ain’t black. I don’t know too many brothers who are notaries. We’re great at having people sign stuff if it’s graffiti on a honkey’s wall. Whereas Alex here, he’s the real deal. Who was your idol growing up? Mine was Richard Pryor, Johnny Carson, Bill Cosby. Two out of three ain’t bad. Alex’s was the credible witness who provides a way to positively identify a signer who lacks satisfactory identification documents. Alex, you’re livin’ the dream. If you’re lucky, one day, you’ll get to watch paint dry. What do you learn at notary public school anyway? Can you learn how to whup somebody’s ass? If not, what good is it?

JEREMY: Thank you, Chris Rock. And last but not least, let’s welcome him while he isn’t in a car getting coffee… Jerry Seinfeld!

JERRY SEINFELD: Who better than I, Jerry Seinfeld, to close this roast? My show was about nothing. And this man, Alex, is clearly… about nothing. Some parents want their kids to grow up to be doctors… lawyers…entrepreneurs. Alex’s parents wanted him to show him a sign of wanting to grow up to be a doctor… a lawyer… an entrepreneur. And Alex, a man who clearly thinks inside, not outside, of the box, took his parents literally. I’ll show you a sign… Here’s a sign, or signing. There’s a signing. Mom, dad, I want to be a notary public! Of course, his folks said, “Can’t you be a notary private? We’d rather not have the neighbors find out.”

JEREMY: Ladies and gentleman… the notary of the hour… welcome… Alex!

ALEX, THE NOTARY: Wow, this has been unbelievable. Jerry, your signature is the funniest one I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of funny signatures. Chris, I know plenty of black notaries. Or maybe they’re white guys covered up with ink. Amy, I’m thrilled you were flirting with me. Then again, no one ever has before, so I don’t actually know what flirting looks like. And Don Rickles, you are my hero. I’m a notary, so that’s not saying much. Thanks everybody… SIGNING off!

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January 3, 2011

The Starbucks notary wises up!

Our notary got stood up at Starbucks the other day, and did what Bostonians call “wising up”. The next night, our notary friend was too tired to travel, unless the price was right. But, he got a call.

9pm… ring ring.
Notary service

Hi, my name is Jim, are you a “notary republic?”
A republic is a country. I am not a country, I am a notary, and I am open to the public — and the public is you
Oh… (long pause). Can you notarize a document?
Yes, that is what I do.
I don’t want to pay a travel fee.
No problem. Meet me at my local Starbucks. Can you come right now?
Sure… Where are you?

I’m in Glendale, how far are you from Glendale?
About 20 minutes.

Great, meet me at 9:20… I can’t schedule after that in case I get a paying job with a travel fee. If I schedule later than that, I might have to give up a $100 job in order to accomodate your $10 job. Understand?
Sure, I guess.

9:15… ring ring
Notary: Hi Jim
Customer: It is not Jim, I am Samuel. We need a notary tonight in Burbank. We are going on a trip and need travel documents. We can pay you $100 travel fee if you can do two signatures included.

Notary: Speak of the devil, I just told my last client that I might get a $100 job tonight. It is the power of positive thinking. Tomorrow night I am going to tell everyone that I might get a $200 job.
Customer: Why stop at $200 — go for $300, just as long as I am not paying!

Notary: So, when do you need service by?
Customer: We are leaving at 11pm, so get over here as soon as you can.
Notary: I have a 9:20pm appointment at Starbucks. If he doesn’t show up on time, I’ll just come on over and should be there before 10pm. If he shows up, I’ll tell him that his appointment is 10 minutes and that I have to run, in which case I’ll be there around 10pm.
Customer: Super.

So, the Starbucks notary meanders down to his favorite hang out spot — Starbucks — of course — isn’t it all of our favorites?
He waits until 9:20pm and then gives three minutes grace period just in case Jim didn’t synchronize his watch to nuclear time. At 9:23 Starbucks notary leaves just as he sees a nervous guy who lacked confidence driving up. Starbucks notary thought — I don’t have time for this, the guy didn’t even call to let me know he was close. So, our notary friend drives off to Burbank. Meanwhile keeping the phone by his side, he anxiously waits for his #1 client to call him and wonder where he was. But, the phone didn’t ring.

At 9:34 our speedy notary arrives at the destination at Burbank, CA. He notary bag by his side, he energetically prances towards the front door. Samual greets him with his document all ready, and five crisp new twenty dollar bills eagerly waiting to be received by our notary friend. The notary checks their identification, takes paw prints, notarizes their signatures, collected his money, and by 9:41 is ready to leave with his wallet fat with cash and then…

ring ring…
Ummm. this is Jim… didn’t we have an appointment at Starbucks?
Notary: Yes Jim, We had a 9:20 appointment and I was at Starbucks waiting for you, but you didn’t show up. I had a conflicting appointment. If I had waited for you, I would have missed my other appointment — and they were ready to go — and not late like you.

Oh… I didn’t realize I was late. I showed up at 9:24.
Notary: You didn’t confirm that you were nearby, and I had to go. But, on a brighter note, I am coming back, and I can meet you at Starbucks in about nine minutes.
Jim: I don’t think I like how this arrangement is going
Notary: Well, I am the one who kept my end of the bargain at the risk of losing a much more lucrative job. You were the one who would have made me late. Maybe it is I who should be the one who doesn’t like the arrangement — hmmm?
Jim: Never mind, I’ll just go home and get it notarized tomorrow by another “noterizer”. Good bye!
Notary: Well, you got a free travel fee out of me. I traveled from my house to Starbucks. My fee is $10 travel fee. You can mail me a check for my trouble.
Jim: No way… besides, I’m the one who did most of the driving… see-ya.

Tweets:
(1) A client wanted to save $ & agreed to meet the notary at Starbucks, but kept the notary waiting for 45 minutes.
(2) The notary waited until 9:20 for his $10 client to show, then had to run to a $100 paying gig!
(3) When you wait for a client to show up who’s late, ur held hostage w/o waiting fees or travel fees.
(4) If customers come 2u, let’em know if they don’t show up on time, they’ll only have 3 minutes grace period.

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January 1, 2011

Eyes on the Notary

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:37 am

Eyes on the Notary
Actually, they are electronic eyes. The ever present surveillance cameras are everywhere. That footage you watched on the evening news is a prime example. But, let me back up a bit, and first discuss some older technology. Pictures. On a few occasions over the years, I have been asked to permit the borrower to photograph me. I tell them it’s unnecessary, my picture is on my web site. They usually persist, perhaps wanting a photo of me in their house in case the silverware is found to be missing after my departure. Kidding aside, they want to take a picture of the notary. Often I am called the “closer” or similar; I always correct that misunderstanding.

Here in population dense Manhattan, where I live; cameras are everywhere. The police have them on high poles to record traffic infractions and the public in general. Private buildings “log” who enters; they also have cameras in front to monitor (and record) what occurs on the sidewalk. There is nothing anyone can do to avoid being recorded. I venture a guess that my license plate is recorded dozens of times going to and fro even the closest assignment. Many homes with infants have “nanny cameras” that allow mom to see and hear junior; a good use of the technology.

However, it is the surreptitious in a private home that seems to me to be going too far. Some security systems are set to record perpetually. They keep “stuff” for a week or so, and then reuse the disk space for new video. It kinda makes sense, in a home invasion you probably will not have a chance to turn on the camera. I am sure many of my, and your, signings have been recorded. Is that a good thing? My first thought is that, knowing I don’t do bad things, the video would provide to me proof of no misbehavior. But, there is always the possibility to “edit” the recording, and thus make it show a false scenario. Amazing things can be done with video editing.

As in the “arms race” where each new development is superseded by a still newer methodology; I ask if the notary should also record. I know, this is a toxic subject with no possibility of a right solution. I choose to not record signing sessions. There probably are notaries with discreet tiny tape recorders who capture the audio. They probably want to have proof that they did not “cross the line” in performing their duties to the highest standards. Claims that they “pushed” the deal, or were naughty in other respects can be defended. To my knowledge, from various notary sites, this issue has never really been discussed.

We live in a litigious world, and the tools of audio and video recordings show up in TV coverage and in courtrooms. I think the signing agent has a right to know if they are being recorded. But, it would feel awkward to ask “are you recording this signing”. In a similar manner, asking for the borrower’s permission to audio tape is equally weird. Thus, we have an interesting situation. Some homes are recording all activities without notification. And, there has to be some notaries out there who don’t ask, but proceed to record the session, again without notice or approval.

Don’t look to me for solutions, I have none. It’s a privacy issue, a subject that we deal with daily as we preserve the confidentiality of some very sensitive documents. That, we understand and are good at. But, the issue of stealth recording remains, and is rarely if ever discussed. This blog entry is to open the topic for discussion. There has to be a solution or procedure that addresses the issue. I ask for your thoughts and comments. I’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, some really smart people are reading this. Please, comment and open a dialogue on this ignored topic.

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December 5, 2010

Arizona Notary Laws vs. Other States

Arizona notary law and laws that vary from state to state. 
It’s difficult to post about notary procedure on Twitter and Facebook.  No matter how universal a notary law seems, it can differ across state boundaries and the interpretation can differ among individuals too.
 
Credible witnesses
Arizona notary law specifies the term, “Credible person” , which is a way of saying credible identifying witness.  In Arizona, one credible witness who knows the notary as well as knowing the signer may be used to identify the signer.  Different states have different rules for credible witnesses. 90% of states allow them, but some states allow two witnesses who the notary doesn’t know, while others allow only one. California allows one CW if the notary knows them OR two if the notary doesn’t know them.
 
Foreign language signers
An Arizona notary must be able to communicate directly with the signer. Many other states have this same rule.  But, there are a few states where an interpreter may be used between the notary and the signer. 
 
Marriages?
There are a few states where notaries can get a special credential such as Justice of the Peace and perform marriages.  An Arizona notary public unfortunately can not perform a marriage — at least not one that would be legally binding. So, forever hold your peace!
 
Appear before?
In Arizona’s electronic notary rules for electric notaries (which is a separate office from a regular Arizona notary), there USED TO BE conditions where the  signer can be notarized without appearing before the notary for that particular signature.  Read our blog about Arizona electronic signatures for details.  This rule has been changed and signers must appear before the notary according to

Click here
 
Arizona Notary Bond?
Arizona notary bonds must only be for $5000.  Most other states require a larger bond than that.  In California, the bond must be $15,000 for example.
 
Seals and journals
An Arizona notary must use a seal and journal.  This seems fairly elementary, but many states do not require the use of both a seal and a journal. 
 
Marriage or adoption?
Arizona notary law prohibits notarizing for anyone who you are married to or related to by adoption.
 
Legal advice?
An Arizona notary public should not give legal advice and not prepare documents for clients.  Some states prohibit the preparation of legal documents only, while AZ prohibits the preparation of any document. The prohibition of notaries from giving legal advice is standard across the board though.
 
Term
An Arizona notary commission’s term is four years.   A four year term is very common, although the number of years can really vary from state to state.

Please visit our Arizona Notary page!

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November 27, 2010

9/11 California Notary Law Changes

California Notary Law Changes 
Notary law has changed tremendously in the last few years across the nation, but the single most important event that shaped notary law was 9/11.  It took several years for the various state notary divisions to react and change their notary laws after this catastrophe, but they surely did.  Several of the terrorists were easily able to get fraudulent social security cards and drivers licenses.  The hijackers paid $100 to an illegal immigrant who had also fraudulently gotten his Virginia driver’s license — to execute the residency affidavit for the 9/11 hijackers before a Virginia notary public.  This notarized document from Virginia was sufficient proof to get a Virginia driver’s license which they needed to get on the airplanes.  The Virginia notary public involved in this transaction was prosecuted by homeland security.
 
After that incident, it was found that tens of thousands of fake Virginia identification cards and driver’s licenses were circulating, and Virginia made law changes as a reaction.  Notarized documents were no longer sufficient proof to get a driver’s license.  Virginia was not the only state to react to this catastrophe.  The California notary division, and many others reacted too.  Law changes started happeneing slowly, generally in 2005 and 2006.
 
Some of the main changes to California notary law were that personal knowledge of a signer was no longer grounds for personal knowledge.  California notaries also are responsible to make sure the document being notarized is not fraudulent.  Jurats now require being positively identified in California and almost every other state in the nation.  There are other laws that changed, but now governments are being careful about identification and preventing fraud.
 
In my personal opinion, California should never had had liberal identification standards to begin with.  The governments reaction to 9/11 is like frantically putting on your seat belt right after an accident.  The time to wear your seat belt is BEFORE an accident, which means all the time.  Additionally, the credible witness procedure in California and many other states is just as ludicrous as the personal knowledge form of identification.  If you personally know someone, how well does it mean that you know them?  There has never been a definitive standard other than that you knew them from a chain of events and people in various contexts which has several lines of text in legalese which nobody can make much sense of.   Credible witnesses do not usually know a signer well enough to identify them before a public official.  They know a signer as “Joe” their neighbor, and job could tell them his last name was Wagner, and the CW’s would swear to that before the notary when they don’t even know.  California is still careless with its notary laws in many ways.

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