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September 17, 2015

A Notary Runs for President

Filed under: Andy Cowan,General Stories — Tags: , — admin @ 12:15 am

2016 flash! NOTARY running for president

Today, after consulting with my family, and the ink manufacturers who are secretly funding my campaign, I am proud to announce my candidacy for President of The United States.

When I veto a bill, letting Congress witness my signature will be a piece of cake.

Not only will I take the oath of office. I’ll be able to administer it.

If we ever have to invade Iran, I promise to unveil the ultimate secret weapon – the ink bomb. Or… the red tape bomb. A similar weapon was allegedly detonated in Washington many years ago.

Anyone can enter our borders as long as we thumbprint them and give them an annual background check.

I will appoint Supreme Court Justices who take the money out of politics and put it where it belongs – toner.

I will discourage climate change, because it can make it difficult getting to your appointment on time.

I will raise the minimum wage to $100 per signing or $16 an hour, plus mileage. Actual mileage may vary.

Notaries will be needed to administer a program to rebuild the infrastructure, but the notaries won’t get paid until the program funds are released.

If your treasury bill doesn’t get paid on time, I promise you can just fax us another invoice

And finally, if you have any doubts about my competency, check my reviews on 123Notary.com.


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