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September 1, 2017

The new travel ban on Notaries from 7 countries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:47 am

Constitutional or not, there has been a new travel ban on Notaries from seven countries.

El Salvador
Due to the cartel violence, Notaries are not allowed to travel to or from El Salvador, but Mexico is not on the list because the Zetas cartel bribed Washington.

Canada
A travel ban to Notaries going to Canada has also been enacted due to an incident where a Notary botched a notarization at a hockey game and then made a cheesy joke about how Canadians say, “It’s aboot time eh?”

Somalia
Somali Notaries were banned from going to Somalia because one was caught trying to spread Sharia law in Minnesota. But, refugees can still come here if they go via neighboring Kenya where there is also a growing refugee crisis.

Syria
Syria is on the list because too many Notaries complained that half of the ID’s they got from Syria were either falsified, or stolen. A simple thumbprint on the passport would solve a lot of this problem.

Israel (not included in the 7 banned by Washington)
Israel was also on the list because the head Rabbi didn’t want anyone flying on the Sabbath which is from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. So, to be on the safe side, they decided not to let Israeli Notaries fly to America period! But, this decision was made by Israel, and not by Washington and therefor cannot be counted in the seven.

Korea
Korean Notaries were also banned because a Korean Notary was on their way to an appointment in Jeremy’s neighborhood in Los Angeles, but driving the wrong way on a one-way road on a circular route around a water fountain in Park La Brea. Authorities have identified this lady as Park Chong-He (who is a she, not a he) who is now classified as a vehicular terrorist who would be better off Park(ed) rather than driving. No kidding, this happened yesterday afternoon.

Andorra
Andorra was on the list too not for typical reasons, but because authorities can’t find it on a map. It is allegedly a tiny city state scrunched between France and Spain, but the zoom feature on Google maps wasn’t working on their computer, so they decided to ban it anyway.

Belgium
Although not an Islamic country and not a country with an Islamic majority, it was banned as a safety precaution and to send a message to Belguim. Belgium is now known as a country that harbors terrorists and whose police force is too inept to identify and prosecute dangerous members of society. The police claim they are too busy and there are too many people on their suspect list. Meanwhile, after the deadly Paris attack done by Belgian residents, France insists on keeping an open border with Belgium. It reminds me of 2006 as I freely drove from country to country within Europe without so much as a welcome from anyone other than the Swiss authorities. The only thought that went through my head is that this openness is a huge hole in security and dangerous. It could lead to huge problems down the road — and it has in the last eleven years since my visit.

Meanwhile, the ban on Notaries was temporarily overturn by Supreme Court Judges as of January 2017. We’ll see if the ban on traveling Notaries gets put back into effect. The court overturned the executive order because it was discriminatory towards countries with weak police departments, towards countries that lacked common sense, and towards bad drivers and therefor deemed unconstitutional. So, now a newer draft of the travel ban is in the making.

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