GEORGE: Hey Angie, I think we need a Notary for Carmen’s report card.
ANGIE: Okay, I can call one. Can you use the online yellow pages.
GEORGE: I prefer the paginas amarillos, but I’ll settle for whatever I can get.
ANGIE: If you use the paginas amarillos, you will get a Notario Publico. I’m not sure if that’s even legal.
GEORGE: Just as long as it’s barely legal. You know what I mean. Like that swim suit you wore last year.
ANGIE: Hey, I like that swim suit.
GEORGE: Me too!
ERNIE: Hey guys. I overheard you need a Notary to notarize a swim suit? That’s going to be one very small notarization in two pieces.
ANGIE: You can’t notarize a swim suit.
GEORGE: I know, there would be hardly anything to notarize, in your case.
ERNIE: You know, I just had lunch. I saw some old ladies eating potatoes. How pathetic, you know?
GEORGE: I know. You saw mamas eating papas.
CARMEN: Very funny. Like cannibalism. Like the time I went to have Japanese food at a cannibalistic restaurant where the first item on the menu was Raw Men.
GEORGE: Hey Carmen, you are too young to be eating raw men. At least cook them first and get some frijoles tambien!
CARMEN: For your information, my report card cannot be notarized. We need your signature on a document saying that you saw my report card.
ANGIE: Oh, so now we are getting technical.
CARMEN: If you don’t get technical, the notarization will not be honored or even possible.
GEORGE: Good point. Which of my ID’s should I use?
ANGIE: The one that’s not expired!
GEORGE: Oh, I better check. But, don’t we need to draft a document?
BENNY: I can draft the document. I have plenty of experience with this getting my ex-boyfriends out of jail and getting their vehicles out of impound. What does the document need to say?
ANGIE: It says right here?
GEORGE: Can I write it in Spanish and then get a certified translator?
BENNY: That’s gonna cost you, and there’s no guarantee the translation will be correct.
GEORGE: Well, what if I pretend I can’t speak English, then can the Notary still Notarize my signature?
ANGIE: I think that direct communication is required for notarizing a person’s signature in most states according to the 123notary.com blog.
GEORGE: 123notary? Well why use the paginas amarillos when we can use uno dos tres notary punto com!
VIC: It sounds more like a Cuban radio station the way you say it. It makes me want to get my congas out of the closet because they are collecting dust.
ANGIE: But, if you play them you will be raising the dust, and we wouldn’t want that!
VIC: Silence, and let the master take part in his trade…. Rumba… my boriquen rumba… ay mi dios my rumba, sumba y catumba… felices!!!!
ANGIE: What happened to ritmo cubano?
VIC: This one is Puerto Rican, just like the Notary who’s coming in five minutes. I already arranged the meeting and drafted the document. You see. I am a step ahead of you. All I ask, is that you let him lead. Notaries from San Juan are like that.
NOTARY: I’m here! Which one of you is Vic.
VIC: Me, of course, the good looking one papi.
GEORGE: I’m good looking too… most of the time, at least when I’ve had my hair done. I’m the signer, so here is my ID.
NOTARY: You don’t look like the guy in the photo.
GEORGE: Oh that’s because I had my hair done for the photo, but didn’t today. But, the eyebrows should match. See???
NOTARY: Hmm. Okay. Sign here, and then sign my journal.
GEORGE: Journal? Nobody told me anything about a journal.
NOTARY: Su firma aqui por favor!
GEORGE: Okay… ahorita!
NOTARY: Stamps the form. Here you are. Your daughter is off the hook. Your DJ, that’s another story. I know a good conga teacher not far from here.
VIC: Hey, I am practically a professional, what are you talking about? Hey, doesn’t George have to swear under Oath?
NOTARY: Not today. Maybe next time if you are lucky. Just keep your arm flexible just in case I ask you to raise your right hand.
.
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Notary with Tourettes syndrome
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Jail Notary Jobs from A to Z
Have you ever done a jail notary?
Have you ever visited a Jail? Would you be afraid to go to one?
In reality, a jail is a very place place to visit. There are guards everywhere, and the bad guys are behind bars. Notaries make a pretty penny notarizing at jails, in fact some make so much it should be criminal to charge that much! You can charge a lot higher travel fee going to a jail because its a lot more trouble than a regular signing, and few notaries are willing to go. There is also more to know. Jail signings are usually the result of physical or online yellow page advertising, not directories that cater to loan signings ( such as ours ).
Who hires you to do a jail signing?
If you are called to do a Jail signing, it is never the inmate who calls you, but their girlfriend, family member, or attorney. The inmates don’t want to blow their (1) phone call calling a notary – and I don’t blame them. You need to arrange a time and meeting point near the jail where you are sure to be able to spot each other – at the same place at the same time. Its easy to get lost at a jail.
Idenfication for jail-birds
When you get the call, ask them if they have identification for the signer, and if they do, then have them read it to you – including the expiration date, before you book an appointment. If they don’t have ID, don’t use the jail bracelet wristband, thats not acceptable by notary standards. You might be able to use credible witnesses if you can get two of them who have ID that is current – if credible witnesses are allowed in your state. If you can’t get identification, you might be able to do a Jurat which doesn’t require identification in most states. However, California now requires ID for Jurats as well. Unfortunately, most documents such as a power of attorney or grant deed are normally done with an acknowlegment, not a jurat. But, you can attach a Jurat form and hope for the best. A recorded document might not be accepted for recording if its not done with the proper wording, but you never know.
Where do you meet your client for a jail signing?
You have to arrange to meet a stranger at the jail at a certain time. Jails are large confusing places, so it might be better to meet at a well marked street corner. If you meet in a jail, you might not know which part of the jail to meet. Waiting room? Hall to the waiting room? Front dest? Out side the bront door? IN the parking lot? Its easy for two people to be at opposite ends of the same facility or get lost. Make sure the person meeting you has a cell phone and make sure you confirm with them, otherwise you might be making a trip for nothing. Jail notaries are not for the elite of society and blowing off a notary would not ruffle the conscience of most of your potential clients for this type of job.
Logistics at the jail.
Once you are actually at the jail, you meet the client, and then fill out forms with the guards to be granted permission to enter. Make sure you know what cell the inmate is in and that they haven’t been moved. Be prepared to wait – jails have a very different sense of time from the way a busy notaries sees time. Follow the instructions for where to go, and then find a guard to bring the inmate to you once you are there. You will have to pass your journal and forms through slits with help of the guard.
You might also like:
Find a Notary who can notarize at a Los Angeles County jail
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21349
A typical botched jail job: fees at the door misunderstood
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2597
Putting hospitals & jails in your notes section on your profile
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19266