You searched for notary seal - Page 2 of 28 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

February 9, 2024

Notary Efficiency 101: Organizational Tips for Success

Filed under: General Articles — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 5:12 pm

In our modern world, efficiency is crucial, particularly for notaries who have an essential role in verifying documents for individuals and businesses. Having a tidy workspace can significantly improve your accuracy and productivity when dealing with legal documents, real estate transactions, or business contracts. In this article, we will discuss effective organization tips for notary to declutter your workspace and notarize with unparalleled efficiency.

Declutter Your Workspace

A cluttered workspace can lead to mistakes, lost documents, and unnecessary stress. Begin by minimizing physical clutter. Keep only the essentials on your desk: your notary seal, stamp, journal, and current documents. Utilize filing systems for completed and pending documents to avoid mix-ups and ensure easy access. Digital clutter can be just as problematic, so organize your digital files with clear naming conventions and back them up regularly to prevent data loss.

Streamline Your Processes

To achieve efficiency in notarization, it is essential to have streamlined processes. One of the key organization tips for a notary is to create a checklist for each type of notarization service you offer. This ensures that no step is overlooked and can speed up the process for you and your clients. In addition to this, it would be helpful to consider using scheduling software to manage appointments. This reduces the risk of double bookings and helps allocate your time effectively.

Invest in the Right Tools

The right tools can make a world of difference in your notary practice. A high-quality scanner and printer are indispensable for creating clear copies of documents. Digital tools like electronic notary platforms can also streamline the notarization process, allowing for remote notarizations, which can expand your client base. Furthermore, ensure your mobile devices are equipped with secure, encrypted apps for managing emails and documents on the go.

Stay Informed and Educated

Staying up-to-date with the latest notary laws and best practices is crucial for efficient service. Regularly attend workshops, webinars, and training sessions. This enhances your knowledge and ensures compliance with state laws and regulations. Moreover, joining notary associations can provide valuable resources and a network of peers for advice and support.

Prioritize Security

Security is of utmost importance in notary work. Use special software to keep digital files safe and lock paper documents in a secure cabinet. When sending papers, it’s crucial to ensure their safety. Many people inquire about the safety of FedEx drop boxes, and it’s always advisable to use trusted ways to send important documents. To get useful tips on sending documents safely, you can read about whether FedEx drop boxes are safe.

Communication is Key

Effective communication with your clients can greatly enhance your efficiency. Set clear expectations regarding the notarization process, required documents, and fees. This reduces confusion and last-minute scrambles. Furthermore, be responsive to calls and emails, as timely communication can prevent delays and foster trust with your clients.

Unlocking Notary Efficiency

Adopting these organization tips for notary practices can significantly declutter your workspace and streamline your notarization processes. From decluttering and investing in the right tools to prioritizing security and maintaining effective communication, each strategy is pivotal in enhancing your efficiency and reliability as a notary. Remember, an organized notary is a successful notary, ensuring smooth transactions for homeowners and business owners alike. Embrace these tips, and watch your notary practice thrive in productivity and professionalism.

Share
>

February 2, 2024

Common Notary Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

In the realm of legal transactions, the role of a notary is paramount. Whether you’re a homeowner finalizing the purchase of your dream home or a business owner executing critical contracts, the presence of a notary ensures the legality and integrity of these important moments. However, notaries are human and, like anyone, can make mistakes. Recognizing and avoiding common notary mistakes is key to ensuring that your transactions proceed without a hitch. Let’s dive into some of these pitfalls and how to avoid them.

1. Failing to Identify Signatories Properly

One of the most critical roles of a notary is to verify the parties’ identity in a transaction. Common mistakes include not checking identification thoroughly or accepting expired IDs. To avoid this, always insist on current, government-issued identification with a photo, signature, and physical description.

2. Neglecting to Record Entries in the Notary Journal

A notary’s journal is an official record of notarial acts and protects the notary and the signatories. Skipping entries or not detailing the transaction accurately is a mistake that can lead to legal complications. Ensure every act is recorded promptly and in detail.

3. Improper Use of Notary Seals

The misuse or improper storage of notary seals can lead to unauthorized use and fraud. Notaries must secure their seals and only use them when performing an official act. Remember, your seal is your responsibility.

4. Overstepping Notarial Boundaries

Notaries are not legal advisors. Offering legal advice or explaining the contents of a document oversteps the boundaries of the notary’s role and can lead to legal repercussions. If asked for advice, the best practice is to direct the individual to seek legal counsel.

5. Incomplete or Incorrect Notarization

Missing information, such as the date, location of notarization, or signatory details, can invalidate a document. Likewise, using the wrong notarial certificate or wording can lead to a document being challenged. Always double-check your work for completeness and accuracy.

6. Not Understanding State-Specific Laws

Notary laws vary from state to state, and not being up-to-date with your state’s requirements can lead to mistakes. Continuous education and reference to state notary manuals are essential to stay compliant.

7. Ignoring the Signer’s Willingness and Awareness

A notary must ensure that signers are willing and aware of what they are signing, free from coercion or impairment. Ignoring signs of reluctance or confusion can question the validity of the notarization.

How to Avoid These Mistakes

Avoiding these common notary mistakes starts with education and diligence. Stay informed about your state’s notary laws, attend refresher courses, and always adhere to the best practices of your profession. Furthermore, utilize resources like the FedEx drop-off service for secure document handling, ensuring that your notarial acts are completed with legal integrity and efficiency.

Ensuring Legal Integrity in Every Transaction

Elevating your notarial expertise involves being vigilant about common notary mistakes and taking proactive steps to avoid them. By thoroughly verifying identities, meticulously maintaining your notary journal, correctly using your notary seal, staying within your legal boundaries, ensuring the completeness and accuracy of every notarization, understanding state-specific laws, and respecting the signer’s willingness and awareness, you safeguard the legal integrity of every transaction. Homeowners and business owners alike depend on this diligence for the seamless execution of their most critical documents. Remember, knowledge and attentiveness are your best tools for avoiding these pitfalls and upholding the trust placed in you as a notary.

Share
>

May 19, 2023

Mobile Notary Etiquette Tips

Filed under: Etiquette — Tags: , — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

Mobile notaries are professionals who play a crucial role in facilitating the signing of legal documents. They travel to their client’s locations to witness and notarize documents, saving clients the hassle of traveling to a notary public office. As a mobile notary, it is essential to maintain a high level of professionalism. In this article, we will share some tried and true mobile notary etiquette tips that will help ensure the notarization process runs smoothly.

Dress Professionally

As a mobile notary, it is important to dress professionally when meeting clients. This creates a good first impression and sets the tone for notarization. Dressing in business attire and wearing a name badge is recommended to identify yourself as a notary. Dressing professionally is one of the most important mobile notary etiquette tips you should follow.

Be Punctual

Clients appreciate punctuality, and it is a sign of professionalism. As a mobile notary, ensure you arrive at the scheduled time or a few minutes early to avoid delays and inconveniences.

Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is key in any professional setting. When dealing with clients, it is important to communicate clearly and concisely, using simple language they can understand. Listen attentively to their concerns and address them appropriately.

Bring Necessary Supplies

Ensure you have all the necessary supplies for the notarization process, such as a notary journal, seal, stamp, and pen. Also, ensure these supplies are in good condition and comply with the relevant state laws and regulations.

Check Client Identification

Before notarizing any document, verifying the client’s identity is important. Ask for a government-issued ID such as a driver’s license, passport, or state ID. Check that the ID is not expired and that the name and photo match the client.

Stay Impartial

As a notary, it is important to remain impartial and not take sides in any transaction. Your role is to witness and notarize the document, not to provide legal advice or express personal opinions.

Maintain Confidentiality

Clients trust notaries to keep their information confidential. Ensure that any personal information the client provides is kept confidential and not shared with any third party.

Explain the Notarization Process

Clients may need to be more familiar with the notarization process, so it is important to explain it to them. Let them know what they need to do, what you will do, and what to expect after completing the notarization process.

Be Flexible

Mobile notaries often work with clients who have busy schedules. Therefore, it is important to be flexible and accommodate the client’s schedule as much as possible. This may involve working outside regular business hours or traveling to remote locations.

Keep Accurate Records

As a notary, you must keep accurate records of all notarized documents. Ensure you complete the notary journal, including the client’s name, date, type of document, and any other relevant information. Also, ensure that you keep the journal in a safe and secure location.

Proper Etiquette Will Improve Your Reputation

In conclusion, mobile notaries play a crucial role in facilitating the signing of legal documents. To maintain high professionalism and etiquette, it is important to dress professionally, be punctual, remain impartial, maintain confidentiality, and be flexible. By following these mobile notary etiquette tips, notaries can provide exceptional services to their clients and build long-lasting relationships. For more notary tips, check out this article on how to be a successful mobile notary.

Share
>

February 3, 2023

10 Mobile Notary Safety Tips for Beginners

Filed under: General Articles — Tags: , , , , — Tom Wilkins @ 8:00 am

Becoming a notary in your state can be a lucrative career path for entrepreneurs and those who want to help their communities. Mobile notary services have become quite popular in recent years. Experienced notaries know that mobile services expand business opportunities. Still, they also know that there are specific safety guidelines that mobile notaries need to pay attention to while on the go.

If you’re considering offering field service as a notary, below are ten mobile notary safety tips for beginners:

1. Always verify the identity of the signer before conducting any notarization

As a notary, it’s your responsibility to know who you’re dealing with, but this can be especially difficult when providing mobile notary services. You may be called to various locations with multiple people present, so verify the identification of all signers. You can do this by checking state-issued ID cards, driver’s licenses, military ID cards, or other forms of acceptable official identification.

2. Ensure the document being notarized is legitimate and that all information is filled out correctly

Documents you notarize need to be validated as legitimate before completing the notarization process. Different documents may require more intensive verification than others, so always ensure you know what documents you’ll be dealing with before heading to a notary job. This will allow you to be prepared if certain documents need additional verification to be performed beforehand.

3. Always use a tamper-evident seal or stamp on the document

The seal or stamp you use should include some tamper-evident features. Consider taking photos of any seal you place upon documents within the bounds of the laws that govern notary services in your state. This can be helpful if evidence needs to be provided later to verify the original marking.

4. Keep a detailed journal of all notarizations performed

It’s also a good idea to keep a detailed journal of each day’s service calls. Each entry should include the date, time, and location of services performed, and you should also consider including contact information for any parties with whom you have contact. Your journal entries can help if you need to verify information in the future, and it can also be helpful if you bill customers instead of collecting payment at the time of service.

5. Be aware of your surroundings and stay alert for any suspicious activity

Among other mobile notary safety tips for beginners, it’s vital to be aware of your surroundings when in the field. Pay attention to suspicious activity, and always put your safety and security first. No job is worth your life, so pay attention to potential threats in the area. You can also research locations online before arriving to get a better understanding of an area’s layout.

6. Use a GPS-enabled device to track your location

In keeping with the above, ensure GPS tracking is enabled on your smartphone or a dedicated GPS unit in your vehicle. These devices help you find locations faster, but they can also be used to provide important information to authorities if you can’t be contacted after responding to a service call. It’s also recommended to share your schedule with a trusted friend, family member, or colleague and check in with this person throughout your work day.

7. Do not carry large amounts of cash or valuables with you

You only carry small amounts if you accept cash payments as a mobile notary service provider. If you have a busy day, plan some time between service calls to deposit cash at your bank. In the unlikely event that you get robbed, or you lose the cash on your person, you’ll be thankful that you didn’t carry a large sum of money. You can also limit the amount of jewelry you wear to service calls to minimize your risk of being robbed.

8. Be familiar with the notary laws and regulations in your state and adhere to them at all times

As a mobile notary, you have unique obligations and responsibilities. Your role is recognized by authorities to serve the public with integrity; to do this, you need to know the laws that govern notary services in your state. These laws may include regulations about what documents you can notarize, where notarizations must occur, whether multiple witnesses must be present, and more.

9. Keep your notary commission and identification with you at all times

Mobile notary professionals must always keep their commissions and IDs on them. Having these documents with you is important if a customer asks to see them, but you may also be asked to provide them to authorities. In addition, providing mobile notary services often means going into unfamiliar areas, so it’s wise to have records available to show that you belong in places where you don’t live.

10. Use a secure method of payment and avoid accepting cash

Accepting cash is convenient and quick, but it can also be a liability for mobile notaries. Instead of accepting cash transactions, consider using a digital point-of-sale system. Today’s point-of-sale systems integrate with the web through smartphones, allowing you to accept cards and digital payments without having to handle paper money.

Mobile Notary Safety Tips to Protect You and Your Clients

Remember, as a mobile notary, you are responsible for the safety of yourself and others. By following these ten mobile notary safety tips for beginners, you can help ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone involved in the transaction.

Share
>

January 27, 2023

How to Start a Mobile Notary Business in 2023

Filed under: General Articles — Tags: , — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 pm

Starting a mobile notary business in 2023 is a great way to provide valuable service to your community while running a successful and profitable business. As a mobile notary, you can work from anywhere, set your own schedule, and serve many clients.

Get Commissioned

The first thing you will need to do to start a mobile notary business is to become a commissioned notary public. This typically involves passing a background check, taking a notary education course, and passing a notary exam. Once you are a commissioned notary public, you will need to purchase a surety bond, a type of insurance that protects your clients in case of errors or omissions on your part.

Create a Business Plan

Next, you’ll need to create a business plan. As a notary or signing agent, you know that success in your business requires more than just showing up on time and having the right documents. Taking the extra step to create a mobile notary business plan can go a long way toward helping you achieve your goals and make your work even more successful. There is much to consider, from generating leads to determining pricing structures when writing up your plan.

Invest in the Proper Tools & Equipment

Once your business plan is complete, you must invest in the necessary equipment and supplies to run your mobile notary business. This includes a professional-grade seal and stamp, a journal to record your notarial acts, and a reliable means of transportation to travel to your clients. You will also want to invest in a good-quality printer, scanner, and computer to handle all the paperwork required to do your job.

Market Your Notary Business

Marketing is essential when you start a mobile notary business to ensure a steady stream of clients. You will need to create a website and social media presence to showcase your services and offer discounts and promotions to attract new clients. You should also consider networking with other notaries, real estate agents, attorneys, and other professionals who can refer clients to you.

Ongoing Education

Another important aspect of starting a mobile notary business is to stay up-to-date with the laws and regulations regarding notary services in your state. Each state has different rules and regulations regarding notaries, so it is important to stay informed and comply with all applicable laws. You should also consider joining a professional organization, such as the National Notary Association, which can provide you with training and resources to help you run your business.

How Much Will You Charge for Your Services?

Finally, it’s important to have a clear pricing strategy for your mobile notary business. You will want to research the going rates for mobile notary services in your area and set your prices accordingly. You may also want to offer package deals or volume discounts to attract repeat clients.

Create Your Own Success in 2023

In summary, starting a mobile notary business in 2023 is a great way to provide a valuable service to your community while also running a successful and profitable business. The key steps are to become a commissioned notary public, invest in the necessary equipment and supplies, market your business effectively, stay up-to-date with laws and regulations, and have a clear pricing strategy. With the right approach and hard work, you can start a mobile notary business that will provide a steady income for Notaries/Signings for years to come.

Share
>

January 23, 2022

The Notary, The Mafia & The Fedex Drop Box

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Drama & Tragedy,Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (A little),Popular on Twitter 2011,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , — admin @ 12:03 am

This was originally published many years ago.

An uneventful signing
It was a gray Monday afternoon in the first week of November. Kary went to her signing with the Thompsons. They signed the documents without too much reading or complaining. Kary had one other signing after that. When all was done, she made her way to the Fedex drop box. She had a habit of always going to that same drop box. It was near her home, and it felt like a safe place to go at night, being a single woman.

Luckily for her she was nowhere near the San Diego mayor’s office.

The Sopranos were en route to the same location she was
This poor woman’s luck — she ran into someone who was still mourning the loss of the great James Gandolfini AKA Tony Soprano. He was such a fan of the show that he decided to pull a mafioso type move on this poor unexpecting woman. This thug Tony Baritone had been in the drug trade for years, but wanted to step it up a notch. His old M.O. was meeting for the swap in a dark alley, giving them the briefcase, taking the package — you know the drill. But, he wanted to do it more like they do in the movies this time. This was his first attempt at simulating the panache of his television alter-ego.

Just about to drop the FedEx and…
So, this woman was just about to drop her package in the box. Her finger was on the handle of the box. She noticed a large garbage backing up about 50 feet away. She disregarded the truck whose distinctive oder was wafting her way. She put the Fedex in the Fedex drop box, and then proceded back to her car. The garbage truck nearly ran her car off the road as she left her parking space. It was so abrupt, she stopped the car to get out and see what this maniac’s problem was.

The garbage truck backed up
The truck had backed up almost into the Fedex box, and had jaws that clamped the Fedex drop box and tore it from its bearings and lifted it into the truck. The woman started screaming, “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”

Blonde #2 appears
Then another blonde lady appeared out of nowhere who looked almost exactly like the notary. She was the same age, same hair color, and same height, and also had a Fedex package that she wanted to drop. The other lady looked very puzzled. She said to herself, “Wait a second, my instructions were to put the Fedex in the drop box and leave — but, that truck just took the Fedex drop box away!” Blonde #2 (also an unnatural blonde) was unbeknowingly carrying $10,000,000 in drug money that she was to deposit in the Fedex box — which was to be removed by the garbage truck. But, their plan got foiled.

We have to get rid of the witness
The driver said to his friend, “We have two problems — the money is not in the Fedex Box, AND, there’s a witness. We need to get rid of the witness, but I can’t tell them apart.”
His friend said,“You have to look for the roots, real blondes have roots — our blond is a real blonde!”
Driver: “No she ain’t, I’ve seen the broad before, she has a different hairstyle every several months”
Friend: “So, you can tell the two chicks apart!”
Driver: “Not from this distance without my glasses. Let’s get my money first. The broad with the package has the money.”

The mafia chases the blonde
So, the driver and his friend jump out of the truck (which is parked in the middle of the boulevard) and run towards the blonde with the Fedex. The irony is that she doesn’t know that they are the intended recipients of the package because her instructions were only to “Put the Fedex in the drop box”. So, she runs away from these scary people — who are actually her boyfriend’s best friends, and the ones who gave the $10,000 to her boyfriend to pay her to do the drop. Meanwhile the notary lady decides to chase after these scumbags to get them to give her package back.

She loses them and then finds them
In the heat of the chase, she loses them, and then finds them again. The other blonde escapes from these thugs, finds the drop box in the back of the garbage truck, puts it in, and runs away. Meanwhile, notary lady catches up to the thugs, and throws her embosser at them — leaving a raised seal of disapproval (in the form of a bruise) on the now unconscious mafia garbage truck driver’s left temple. The irony of the story is that the character with the concealed weapon is not one the mafia characters, but is the notary who was carrying a stainless steel embosser.

The Notary recovers the loan docs
After that, the driver’s friend ran away and the notary proceeded to the unattended garbage truck to pick up her package. She picked up the highest package in the box in such a hurry, she didn’t realize that she had picked up $10,000,000 in dirty drug money. She gets in her car and drives off with her “loan docs” finally in her possession again. She calls the signing company and lets them know about the problem. Then, she proceeds to her nearest staffed Fedex station — where there won’t be any garbage trucks (let’s hope). She pats the package in glee to have gotten it back after a small altercation. But, she notices a distinct bulge in the package that didn’t feel like loan documents.

But, what she had was not really the loan docs after all
The five seconds after she realized that her loan documents were not in her possession, she saw a large garbage truck driving down the street.

Mental note to self: “Take out the garbage”

Tweets:
(1) A notary bumps into Toni Baratone at a FedEx drop box
(2) The garbage truck tore the FedEx drop box from its bearings and took it away!
(3) “We need to get rid of the witness, but I can’t tell the 2 blondes apart”
(4) The Notary takes $10 million in drug money to the Title company by accident.

You might also like:

The Flo-tary and the name your price tool
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16194

Notary aptitude test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15853

Don’t put the FedEx in the drop box
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2831

More on Snapdocs, the Uber of the Notary industry
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16236

My interpretation of how the Notary industry went South
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16500

Share
>

January 16, 2022

Quiz: You know you’re a good Notary when you…

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Linked In,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 9:54 am

What type of Notary are you? A good one or a bad one? I’m not sure who created the questions for, “You know you’re a redneck if you…”
So, I’ll create my own version of this satirical banter, and come up with my own version for Notaries that will have some technical merit.

You know you’re a bad Notary when you…

(1) Do you fail to call the borrower to confirm the appointment that signing company set, and just show up?
If you don’t call and make sure that all parties involved (watch out for spousal signatures) will be there and on time, with a current ID with matching names — you might be in for some wasted time. If you don’t get the documents signed, you might not get paid. You might waste two hours for nothing because you don’t think you “need” to call the borrowers, or because you were asked not to. It is your appointment and your responsibility!

(2) Do you send loose certificates in the mail?
Lenders and Title companies are notorious for asking notaries to break the law and send loose certiifcates. In some states it is a Misdemeanor if you ask a Notary to do something illegal. Report all illegal requests to your State Notary Division immediately. No second chances!

(3) Do you fail to get certified by all agencies that you purchase “effective” advertising from? Or do you say, I don’t “need” your certification because I’m already “certified” without even disclosing the name of the organization who certified you? There is no such thing as just being “certified” as notary certification is not regulated by any government.

(4) Do you say, “I have my Notary” when you really mean you have your Notary Commission?

(5) Do you fail to use a Notary Journal or Seal simply because your state doesn’t require it? What happens if an investigator asks about a potentially fraudulent transaction you were involved in and you have no evidence for the court? The court case might be really long and you might get in really big trouble.

(6) Do you fail to keep thumbprints of signers in your journal because your state doesn’t require it?
Guess what? You might end up in court if you don’t take thumbprints, especially on transactions affecting high dollar figures such as properties.

(7) Do you fail to administer Oaths to credible witnesses or for Jurats because you are not well enough trained to know how, or even to know that you are required? Or, perhaps you don’t even know what a credible witness even is. Better look this up in your state Notary handbook.

You know you’re a good Notary when…

(1) The hair on your neck stand up straight when you see someone try to sign with a middle initial that doesn’t exist on their identification.

(2) You use an inked seal and an embosser with a raised non-inked seal to make it detectable if pages are swapped or photocopied.

(3) You take copious notes in your journal about the signers, what went on in the signing, and the building / neighborhood where the signing took place to job your memory should you ever be summoned into court.

(4) You sell your car, and buy a few top spots on 123notary.com!

There are many other technical points and best practices that we could address, but for this hopefully entertaining blog entry — that’s all folks!

.

You might also like:

You know you’re a Notary Public when… (36 examples)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16038

Honey, you can kiss my app!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14902

Notary aptitude test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15853

Share
>

January 14, 2022

Psych Notary Episode

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (some),Popular Overall,Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 11:54 pm

This was originally published many years ago.

There is a sit-com on Ion television that you can sometimes get on other cable stations called Psych. It’s about a psychic Shawn Spencer and his sidekick Burton Guster. In any case, the psychic is a fake half the time who sees real clues that nobody else saw him see and then pretends to have a vision.

In this episode, a Notary is found dead and his stamp is found missing. The detectives arrive on the scene.

LASSITER: The body is dead — and it’s cold. It could have been lying here for a good seven to ten hours in my estimate. The cause of death seems unclear.

JULES: Let’s take the body to the lab and see if there is any sign of food poisoning. The victim seems to be a Notary Public, and you know how those type of people are — you know — eating on the road on the run.

SHAWN: You’re right. He might have eaten a poisoned fish filet or….wait a second, I’m getting something… (puts his right two fingers to his head) This MAN, did not die from accidental food poisoning (pause)… he was murdered.

LASSITER: You and your unsubstantiated hunches. I just can’t stand it. And what’s worse is that you’re right more than half the time.

SHAWN: Some people say that I’m talented. Oh, and I’m sorry about your tragic breakup.

LASSITER: Yeah… so am I. I really fell for her.

SHAWN: Don’t despair Lassie, there are other fish in the sea… and coral, particularly Staghorn coral.. and sometimes Pillar coral, and it really sucks when that filmy type of algae gets stuck on the coral.. hmmm. I wonder how that happens. But, I digress. My point is that I’m sure you’ll find someone else.

GUS: Yeah… You’ll find someone. Algae on coral? Ain’t no algae on coral.

SHAWN: I’ve seen it. At least half a dozen times.

GUS: Where?

SHAWN: Snorkeling

GUS: Since when do you snorkel?

SHAWN: I snorkel… Why, you didn’t think I snorkeled? I’m a snorkeler. And I can communicate with fish too. Watch this (puts face near the fish tank and blows bubbles in the air) bubble bubble bubble… See. I told you. I am all about the sea.

JULES: Well, we’ll have to inspect the scene thoroughly and then round up some suspects. Hmm. It seems that this man is a Notary, yet his Notary seal seems to be missing. Perhaps this Notary was murdered to cover up a botched notarization.

LASSITER: Or perhaps the Notary had an exclusive contract with his boss, and his boss found out….

SHAWN: That the Notary was cheating on him… I think you’re projecting, Lassie. Your ex-girlfriend.

LASSITER: She never cheated on me! She was arrested for conspiracy.

SHAWN: Sure she didn’t. I understand. We need to know who the last one who was in the room was — and that man (or woman) will be… the killer.

GUS: What if there were two of them.

SHAWN: Okay… I’m getting something. (puts right fingers to side of head). I know who the killer is… or should I say… “Killizz”

LASSITER: According to this security footage, a well known gangster named Tommy Walker was the last man to come here.

SHAWN: Wait a second, I recognize those finger tattoos. Put them all together, one one hand is says love, and on the other hand’s fingers it says hate. And mom told me not to use four letter words. The killer had a document missing a page and the Notary refused to sign it. So, the killer murdered the Notary, stole the Notary’s stamp and backdated the notarization so that it would APPEAR to have been done long before the murder even though it would not be recorded until after because of some last minute travel arrangements gone bad.

JULES: How do you come up with this?

SHAWN: I have a natural gift.

(Meanwhile the main suspect Tommy Walker, a hardened criminal is at home eating fruit loops and watching the muffets when our dynamic team of sleuths barges in)

LASSITER: (pointing gun) You’re under arrest for the Murder of John Q Smith, Notary Public at large.

TOMMY: I didn’t kill him. He just died shortly after our Notary appointment.

SHAWN: Ah-ha, but your Notary appointment yielded no actual notarization. Or did it. Wait a second… I”m getting something (see’s notarized form in the bag) I see a … win a trip for two to Disney Land…

GUS: Shawn!

SHAWN: Oh, sorry, no… check right behind the Disneyland document and you will find the incriminating document. Yes… A falsified Power of Attorney with a classic missing page… The NNA warns people about that type of situation.

JULES: Oh my God Shawn. You’re right. This Notarization was dated several days ago, but the ink is still fresh.

SHAWN: Caught… in the act. And… we happen to have access to this Notary’s Notary journal which has no record of your transaction on May 5th, “el cinco de Mayo” of the Power of Attorney in question. Which proves that either the Notary kept lousy records, or that you faked the notarization. We’ll have to take the form to the lab so that Woody can inspect the ink for aging.

TOMMY: Okay, I did it. I stole the Notary’s seal, but I didn’t kill him. The killer

SHAWN: Or “Killizz”

TOMMY: is STILL at large. We’ll have to wait for the autopsy. In the mean time… hello travelocity.

JULES: Not so fast. We have the right to detain you until we resolve this.

GUS: Good thing this Notary kept good records because many Notaries on 123notary don’t think they need to keep a journal since their state doesn’t require it. And the ones in California who are required, don’t understand that each document and signature require their own journal entry. You can’t just put them all on the same line and expect that to be a legal record.

SHAWN: How do you know all this?

GUS: Because I used to be a commissioned Notary Public for the state of California, County of Santa Barbara — thank you very much for asking.

SHAWN: Oh cool, so can you notarize my stuffed penguin I’ve had since childhood?

GUS: You never had a stuffed penguin.

SHAWN : Did too, you just never saw it.

GUS: Where did you keep it?

LASSITER: Gentlemen, let’s be done with this inconsequential rambling and get to the task at hand. We need to take Tommy into custody and then question him. Meanwhile, we need to see Woody to see what the autopsy reveals.

WOODY: Hmmm, I’ve checked the body thoroughly and it seems that the Notary was administered a tiny amount of poison that would make him drowsy for just the amount of time it would take Tommy to borrow the Notary’s seal, stamp a document, return the seal and then leave. Tommy probably figured the Notary wouldn’t suspect a thing. HOWEVER, since the Notary had an allergy to some of the chemicals in the poison, the Notary died on the spot. Although the death was accidental, the poisoning was not.

LASSITER: Involuntary manslaughter. Tommy will get a much shorter sentence. A petty crime gone wrong.

SHAWN: Couldn’t the Notary die on an x, or on a dotted line instead of on the spot. Wouldn’t that be cooler.

GUS: Shawn! A notary can’t die on an x marks the spot. That’s ridiculous. He could die on a chair.

SHAWN: Or a gezebo. Or … wait a second, or a pagoda. But, that would probably only be a Japanese Notary.

GUS: Unless it was an American tourist Notary who was on vacation in a place where there are pagodas.

SHAWN: True, but would the American Notary carry their seal with them to Osaka to a pagoda and then just die there?

GUS: I don’t know. But, the Notary seal might drop out of his bag while he was bowing. When Americans bow, they bow too low. Japanese bow just a little bit — just the right amount.

SHAWN: How do you know so much about bowing?

GUS: I studied Hokkaido style karate — that is how I know. And if you studied that too, the knowledge would come from within you.

SHAWN: Right now the only thing coming from within me is an intense desire to eat a pineapple. Wanna share one?

GUS: Okay!

LASSITER: You guys are both insane. But, we cracked the case and we can all go home now, except for Tommy who’s going to do some real time.

SHAWN: Yes, unless he also finds a way to backdate his prison sentence!

.

You might also like:

Best Virtual Comedy Compilation Updated 2018
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

See our string of Psych episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=psych

Psychic – Notary Psychic Tarot Card Reading
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19126

Suicide – Notary Suicide Hotline
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6995

Share
>

January 3, 2022

Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , , — admin @ 8:03 pm

Originally published many years ago

Notary reviews vs. Movie reviews

Imagine what the world would be like if Notaries got reviews similar to movie reviews. The world would be a much more interesting place for one! But, would it get too zany?

(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) The notarization was good, but the popcorn needed more butter (sorry for the corny joke)
(3) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(4) Some reviews spoil the movie — read the spoiler alert.
(5) I didn’t like the ending to the signing. Too predictable.
(6) The guy in front of me wouldn’t take off his hat throughout the entire signing
(7) There was a lot of character development the minute we got to explaining the APR.
(8) The Notary gave an award winning performance.
(9) The actor who played the Notary was such a natural it would be an easy mistake to take him for a real Notary!
(10) The notary had to go back to his trailer so that “make up” could do some touch ups on his seal, because his seal was beginning to smudge.
(11) I hate it when people talk during the signing, especially during the critical parts.
(12) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.
(13) The notary dimmed the lights as I was reading the details on my Settlement Statement. Luckily I brought a flashlight!
(14) The suspense hit its apex when the Notary couldn’t reach the Lender by cell phone. I never expected that!

Coming attractions:
Refinance 2,
Debt Reduction Retainers — the sequel.
The Notary Games.

Tweets:
(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(3) Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews: I didn’t like the end of the signing — to predictable.
(4) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.

Share
>

January 2, 2022

Welcome to the Notary Hotel

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Linked In,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 8:04 pm

Originally posted many years ago

Welcome to the Notary Hotel.

Borrower: “Hello, I’d like to file a formal complaint. The notary didn’t come with a complimentary continental breakfast!”
Clerk: “Sorry about that, but breakfast is only from 6am to 9am weekdays and from 7am to 10am on weekends.”
Borrower: “Also, the notary didn’t sanitize my thumb after thumb printing me!”
Clerk: “Oh, really, I’ll have to write that notary up!”
Borrower: “Aren’t I supposed to get a mint on the top of my loan document stack?”
Clerk: “Hmm, that is part of the Notary Hotel’s branding. I’m really sorry about that.”
Borrower: “Also, the Notary didn’t observe the don’t disturb sign while I was reading the Settlement Statement!”
Clerk: “Oh brother, it’s time we fire that Notary!”
Borrower: “I asked the Notary to give my wife a wake up call when the signing was finished. She fell asleep halfway through the Affidavit of Occupancy.”
Clerk: “It is safe to assume that the Notary failed to give you your complimentary wake up call. Tell me, was there anything good about your signing?”
Borrower: “Well, the Notary gave me some lemongrass moisturizer and a shower cap! I enjoyed those.”
Clerk: “So, there is a silver lining on the cloud next to every shower-head!”
Borrower: “The Notary wanted to kick us out three minutes before check out time while I was reading the automatic payment transfer authorization.”
Clerk: “I’ll add that comment to your file.”
Borrower: “At least I was given two hours of free wi-fi during my stay!”

Clerk: “Did you try out our unique cable T.V. system? You can get 328 complimentary channels including — the signing channel!”
Borrower: “You make me feel like I really missed out!”
Clerk: “Next week we’re having a special. Sign a line of credit while you’re in line for Belgian waffles.”
Borrower: “Oh, you’re going to make waffles for us?”
Clerk: “Not exactly, you stand in line so you can make them yourself. When you think about it, we should be paying you to stay here and stand in line so many times. You stand in line to check in, check out, use the shower for the “equity pool,” and also to make waffles! We’re going to have to do something about those lines!”
Borrower: “You’ve got a point there!”
Clerk: “I’m sorry you had a negative experience. To make it up to you, next time you stay with us, we’ll let you upgrade at no cost to one of our signature rooms, if one is available at the time of your stay!”
Borrower: “If a signature room is not available, I’ll assume that you’ll give me an upgrade to an ‘initial’ room, a condensed version of the same thing?”
Clerk: “Actually, I never thought of that, but we do have digital signature rooms that are also often available. Instead of having a key to the room, you get a password. The welcome mat is a huge signature scanning pad — you’ll love it. Digital Signature rooms come with virtual windows with views of anyplace in the world. The cable T.V. is also very different. Instead of paper-view, it comes with paperless-view because it’s digital.

Borrower: “The other thing that I didn’t understand is that my room key was in the shape of a stamp. Instead of swiping it in a reader like other hotels, I had to affix a digital stamp of my seal on what looked like a scanner. Very perplexing. My notary seal digital key also had commission room number 314 an expiration date of 11am the next morning. I guess that is check out time.”
Clerk: “Well, we like to maintain a notary theme at all times. After all, this is the Notary Hotel. Just thank god we don’t have eight digit commission room numbers on the digital seal!”

For those of you who want to visit the Notary Hotel, we have all the amenities. Swimming “equity pools”, business centers, tennis, movies, and of course an endless supply of complimentary blue pens. All you have to do is fax us an order confirmation and sign in once you arrive! Some people stay here their entire commissions!

Tweets:
(1) The Notary Hotel: Does my notarization come w/a wake up call?
(2) The Notary Hotel is so comfortable, some notaries stay there their entire commission.
(3) Their signing took place at The Notary Hotel & the wife requested a wakeup call after the signing was done.
(4) At The Notary Hotel: they didn’t observe the don’t disturb sign while I was reading the Settlement Statement!
(5) At The Notary Hotel, Showtime & HBO are free, but the Signing Channel costs $40 (not including fax backs)
(6) Check out the digital signature rooms at The Notary Hotel

You might also like:

The sleezy Notary Motel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16118

Notary RV Park
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16121

Notary Hotel 2 — the sequel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9887

Share
>
« Newer Posts — Older Posts »