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January 22, 2011

Cattle call Notary offers

Cattle Call Notary Offers
Do you Moo? Actually it’s more of a sheep call than a cattle call. Cattle are rather large and both genders can be a handful when riled, ask any cowhand. I would have preferred to title this blog “Sheep Call Notary Offers”, but the commonly used term will suffice, and it worked to get your attention; as you can’t deny that you are indeed reading this. Sheep are wonderful animals, so gentle and trusting. They baaahh a bit when you shear their wool, but that’s the extent of their complaining. Unlike cattle that like to roam individually, the sheep tend to herd together; they are so easy to manage! I’m sure some are aware of “leg of lamb” and “mutton chops”, but they choose to ignore their ultimate fate.

I just received still another of the Sheep Call notary offers. It has the usual “we pay xx$”; really? I love our free market democratic form of government. There is nothing wrong with some firm sending me a solicitation to buy their product for xx$. But the reverse offends me. By reverse I am referring to solicitation for my services that try to price set for me. They got it back asswards. It is the seller who sets the price and the payment terms. With my notary services I, not they, am the seller. I set the price and payment terms. To put it bluntly, it’s my way or the highway.

My name is http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com not “Undisclosed Recipients”. My self image, regular readers already know this; is more like a Lion than a Lamb. Many prefer to deal with docile manipulateable sheep. I know, when the rent is due you are against the wall and tend to shed your Lion’s attire for a cloak of wool. The callers are very astute at voice reading and want to be able to control their notary. Sometimes to a level of detail that goes beyond the offensive. If you absolutely must “play lamb” for a while, so be it. But work quickly at formulating a plan that allows you to shed the wool and return to Lion attire.

Back to the offensive solicitations. My general response is to state my fee and that I am available for the assignment. I add that PayPal payment is required prior to printing the edoc. That is a real “turn off” to the bottom fisher. Actually I find my response much more efficient than asking for an “unsubscribe”. I don’t want to be bothered, or offended by receiving such tripe. Truth to tell, sometimes I step a bit “over the line” in my response. I have a cute cartoon graphic called KMA.JPG. Sometimes I send it as a response to cattle calls. The acronym’s first letter stands for the word “kiss”. If you want a copy just send me an email. It would be great if all notaries sent the soon to be infamous kma.jpg in response to these lowballers.

Sure we are all notaries. But, poise, character, image, and deportment differentiate us. Your feeling of self worth, backed by your training and skills are what sets you apart. The fact that you are a member of 123notary.com is a strong indication that you, unlike most notaries; really know what you are doing. There is a good chance that your 123notary.com listing is the reason that you were included in the email directed to the flock of sheep. But, show them wrong!

Frankie Valie and the Four Seasons recorded “Walk Like A Man” (or Woman) and that is what you should be doing. Cattle / Sheep call emails are mass attempts to demean notaries. They are an offer for bottom dollar, collection grief, late docs and an extended lesson in being micro managed. The only thing these people deserve is what the herd leaves behind when it passes.

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Definition of Oath

This article deals with Oaths in general as well as how Oaths are significant in the Notary Profession.

What is an Oath?
An Oath is a solemn and formal statement of fact or promise that is worded in a sacred or official way. An Oath is a formalized vow normally taken before others in a formal situation.

Types of Oaths
It is common for people to take an Oath or swear under Oath when becoming a public official which would be called being sworn into office. People also take Oaths when they get married or when they are sworn into court as a defendant, plaintiff, Attorney, witness or juror. People take an Oath of citizenship when becoming a citizen. Those in the medical profession take a hippocratic Oath. But, zookeepers do not need to take a rhinocratic Oath contrary to popular belief.

Hand Gestures
It is common in the United States for people to raise their right hand with their palm facing forward at the beginning of an Oath proceeding. Different parts of the world might have different hand gestures or no hand gestures.

Some People Refuse Oaths
Some Christians refuse to swear under Oath as they always tell the truth (or claim to.) They seem to not understand that the purpose of the Oath is not to prove to themselves that they are telling the truth, but to impress upon others that they are — while the others might not have the same opinion as to the integrity of the affiant. The Notary profession now allows for Affirmations instead of Oaths for those religious people who don’t believe in oaths.

Affirmations
An Affirmation is a formal statement that currently carries the same and identical weight and meaning as an Oath. A Notary Public can swear someone in using an Affirmation instead of an Oath merely by substituting verbiage. Instead of saying, “Do you solemnly swear that this document is true and correct?” you could say, “Do you solemnly affirm that this document is true and correct?”

Affiant
An affiant is the person who swears under Oath typically in a written statement called an Affidavit.

Affidavit
An Affidavit is a written document, often a legal document where the Affiant swears before a Notary Public as to the truthfulness of the document.

Jurat
A Jurat is an official Notary act where the affiant swears under Oath to the truthfulness of a written statement or document. Some Jurats have handwritten statements written by the signer who is also the affiant. Others are drafted up by an Attorney, government or professional agency.

Notarial Oath
Jurats are not the only Notary act that can have an Oath. Notaries use Oaths in many aspects of their work. Notaries take an Oath of Office to get sworn into duty when their commission begins. Notaries routinely swear in Credible Witnesses who are used to identify a signer who doesn’t have identification. Notaries swear in Subscribing Witnesses as well who witness people signing a document. There are also just plain Oaths that Notaries administer. The Oath might not be written or recorded. If Notary administers an Oath, they should indicate in their journal that they gave an Oath regarding a particular subject and have the Oath taker (affiant) sign the journal in that corresponding entry.

Acknowledgments with Oaths
Acknowledged signatures normally do not have Oaths, but they could have an accompanying Oath. Acknowledgments allow the signer to sign before they see the Notary Public. However, the Oath would have to be taken in the presence of a Notary Public.

Oaths in Mortgage Loan Signings
Mortgage loan signings normally contain several affidavits such as the Signature Affidavit which requires a sworn Oath. So, if you perform Loan Signings, be prepared to be an expert at the art of Oath giving.

Question
If Physicians take a Hippocratic Oath, what type of profession would take a Rhinocratic Oath?

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Subscribing witnesses explained
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January 21, 2011

Notary Pick Up Lines Part 2

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 10:40 am

This one was written by a guest blogger.
It is rated (R), so if you are tight on morality, please skip on to the next one!

You get my stamp of approval that’ll never expire.

Lien on me, baby.

After impressing my notary seal to this document, I’d rather impress you.

How ‘bout affix-up? (or… How ‘bout an affix-up?)

Let’s talk dirty and swear under oath.

What do you say we change the venue to my place?

If you look at another notary’s writs, I’ll get subpoenas-envy.

Is that an embosser in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? (off the old come-on first made famous by Mae West that’s lived ever since, “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”)

After acknowledging you signed a document, feel like acknowledging my existence?

While you certify that date, how ‘bout certifying our date?

I affirm under penalty of law you’re hot.

Why bear witness to documents when we can bear each other’s souls?

It’s a crime if you don’t go out with me, punishable by the death of my social life.

Forget power of attorney. Right now I’m thinking about the power of that blouse (you’re wearing).

Come witness our initials in that tree.

There’s no statute of limitation to how much I want you (right now).

Hi. If I’m bothering you, it’s just a duress rehearsal.

(some slightly edgier ones…)

After you sign the deed, how ‘bout we do that other deed? (the proverbial “dirty deed” as in screw.)

This is just my notary public façade. Wait till you see my privates.

I’m state-approved. Care for a drink? I’m also state of intoxication-approved.

Are you as loose as that certificate? (re: “loose certificate”)

My seal isn’t the only thing that’s raised right now.

.

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January 20, 2011

Go to jail, but DO collect $100

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 1:19 am

Go to Jail, but DO collect $100
As a notary on official business, not to become a “resident”. I’ve been to several jails. They, so far, have shared a virtually identical routine. Oops, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. First, you need the assignment. In your profile on 123notary.com did you check the box for Jail Signings. You can access that part of your profile by selecting “Edit Additional Info”. While there glance at your commission expiration date – often overlooked, it needs to be kept current. OK, now you do qualify to show in a search for Jail.

Once the call comes in, obtain the basic information; stressing the need for ID. Not just asking that it will be available; verify that your state mandated ID will be available. The jails I have visited issued a “must carry” photo ID to each inmate. I do not accept that ID. Often, you will be meeting an attorney who needs the inmate signature notarized. Once in a while an attorney will present their interpretation of what is proper ID. They tend to be good talkers. True, it’s a different environment; but you know notary law; they don’t. Have the ID issue fully handled prior to any making any commitment.

You might not be admitted. Accept that as a fact. The facility might have a rule that only the attorney and family can visit. Make it absolutely clear to your client that your fee is earned by meeting them at the facility and putting forth “best efforts” to complete the job. My visits have always been with attorneys. They say the right things to the admitting guard. But there are no guarantees; they are not (IMHO) obligated to let you in. With ID and getting in being issues, all jail Notary assignments are prepaid. Make sure to have your driver license and current proof of your notary commission.

You should prepare for your visit. What works for me is having two zip lock plastic bags. One is for what I wish to bring in, the other for what I cannot bring in. After checking in, the two bags are surrendered at the window. They are very choosey about what goes in. Your embosser will probably be forbidden, stamping device usually accepted. However, a better strategy is to go in with absolutely nothing. Do the notarizations in the lobby, after you leave the secure area. On those days I wear my Velcro closing belt, without a bit of metal. When I tell the metal detector operator it’s Velcro and has no metal; I’m usually allowed to wear it.

It’s a Jail. You will be told what to do. Avoid asking any questions and comply immediately with what you are told to do. Doors slide open and clang shut. Your photograph may be taken. Your hand might receive a visitor stamp, similar to the “paid for admission” at many events. You will be told to sit someplace and wait. They are not in a hurry. Time is what they serve, often in great quantities. Eventually, the prisoner will arrive; sometimes you will be directed to a conference room. The cardinal rule is to give nothing whatsoever to the inmate. Nothing. If you had to bring in a pen, make sure you leave with it.

ID checked, signatures given oath; take possession of the pages with the signatures witnessed. You don’t want your client accidently adding or changing documents for different ones that were also signed. Making certain to enter the correct county in the Venue; complete the process after your “release”. You should do at least one Jail “visit”; strict adherence to notary law will follow.

.

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Safe notarizing is like safe sex. Don’t have unprotected notarizations!

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 1:04 am

Can you imagine that Florida’s FAQ page forbids Notaries from requiring a journal thumbprint? The thumbprint is the one piece of evidence that can nail an identity thief and is the most compelling evidence to prove that the Notary is not in cahutz with the ring of identity thieves as well. You are protecting yourself as well as society. So, why would Florida want you to endanger everybody?

India does not require people to have seatbelts, but if you don’t use a seatbelt in India, you might end up going through a windshield onto the other side of the highway and end up with a skull fracture. The fact that India doesn’t require seatbelts doesn’t make it any more safe to go without using one.

A thumbprint is to notarizing what an airbag & seatbelt is to safe driving.
Proper identification practices like making sure the name on the document is provable based on the name on the identification document is just like wearing a seatbelt. For the most part, you don’t get into accidents. You will probably not be in a serious accident in your entire life. But, it is possible that you or a family member will be in a bad accident, and if you aren’t wearing your seat belt at that exact instant when the accident happens, you could end up dead. Not taking a journal thumbprint is like not having an airbag. If you notarize 10,000 people without incident and then customer 10,001 happens to be an identity thief, it is the thumbprint that will help the authorities catch him. If you don’t keep a thumbprint, you could end up named as a suspect in a law suit, be a witness in a long law suit and you don’t get paid for sitting in court, etc.

Heterosexual AIDS is rare in the USA, but exists.
When you have intercourse, if you sleep around, some people have diseases. You cannot know who is having an outbreak or who has a disease. People who are smart, either abstain from sleeping with people who they don’t have a serious relationship with, or use protection. It is rare in America that you would have the misfortune of having intercourse with someone hetersexual who is not an introvenous drug user who has AIDS, but it could happen in the heterosexual community. You might sleep with 10,000 heterosexuals and feel safe because nothing bad happened so far. But, with person 10,001, that person might have AIDS and give it to you. This is why you should keep a thumbprint, otherwise you might get the notarial equivalent of AIDS which is being a witness or suspect in a lengthy and expensive law suit regarding identity theft.

15% of full-time Notaries will end up in court
Identity theft is rampant, but as a full-time Notary, you only have a roughly 15% of ever appearing before a judge or being part of any serious investigation — and that is during your career and not during any particular career. Although I have met a few Notaries who have appeared before judges twice or been investigated three times. Maybe that is their karma.

Don’t have unprotected notarizations.
What you have to understand is that when you notarize someone, you are not just notarizing them. You are notarizing them, and anyone they’ve been notarized by, and anyone they’ve been notarized by has notarized, and so on and so on. If any of them are an identity thief, you could end up with AITS (the notarial equivalent of AIDS) which is acquired identity theft syndrome. The proper use of thumbprints reduces the risk of AITS to almost zero. So, use a thumbprint and be safe. Don’t have unprotected notarizations!

Safe notarizing! Because certain things weren’t meant to be shared!
.

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13 ways to get sued as a Notary
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January 18, 2011

What Do Personal Injury Lawyers Do for Their Clients?

Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — Tags: — admin @ 10:20 pm

What Do Personal Injury Lawyers Do for Their Clients?

There is a large list of issues that require the assistance of law. So many that one lawyer can’t master how to deal in each of them. That’s how the concept of different lawyers for different types of cases came into being. One of the most widely seen issues in the United States is personal injury. So the need for personal injury lawyers was inevitable. Personal injury lawyers help people get their due right from the opposite party or insurance company when they face an accident. However, there is a lot more to the job then what a common man sees. Here I’ve shared all necessary actions taken by a personal injury lawyers for their clients.

Educates You About Your Rights
They always start with educating you about the rights you have in the matter under discussion. They are lawyers who have spent years practicing this field of law. As most clients don’t understand the depth of the situation, lawyers start by explaining how the law works. You will learn about your rights reserved by the law and your responsibilities. Once you understand the situation, you would know better if you are at right or wrong and if you should pursue that case. This education helps you make an informed decision.

Investigates the Case
Not many people know but good lawyers have to investigate the case to fully understand it. For this purpose, many lawyers visit the place of accident and discuss the incident with witnesses to form a theory on how the accident took place. Many law firms hire professionals like former police officers to investigate the case for them.

Calculates the Damages
Most people that don’t have a lot of experience of personal injury cases calculate the cost of only immediate damages. Professional personal injury lawyers have a better sense of assessment in this case due to their experience. They will calculate things like the time you had to take off from your office due to injuries, incident’s mental impact on you, harassing phone calls from bill collectors in addition to the vehicle repair and other costs. They will get you enough reimbursement that you won’t feel if the accident impacted your life in any way.

Deals with Oppositions
There is a possibility that your insurance company may pay you the due right without any issues. On the other hand, you may have to fight more than one parties in the court who might be asking you to pay for all the damages. According to lawyers at Davis Law Group, Seattle personal injury attorneys, you won’t really need a lawyer in the first case; however, things get complicated when more than one parties are involved.

Fights the Case in Court
No man without a law background can fight a case in the court against a professional lawyer. They have a lot more than just knowledge of the law. Their practice allows them to understand the situation, your mentality, and answer to every question before you tell it. You will see them using tricks to get you to say things that would weaken your case. It is said that things can get very ugly in the courtroom – they said the truth. Lawyers might even attack your personal life to make you lose temper. To beat this experience, you need another professional of the same caliber.

Please also see:
Olympia Injury Lawyers

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Notaries Without Makeup

Filed under: Andy Cowan — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:02 am

Have you ever seen shows about celebrities without makeup?
Well now there is “Notaries without Makeup.” A reality show about what Notaries are really like behind the scenes.

Meet Sylvia.

SYLVIA: Hi, I’m Sylvia. Believe it or not, underneath this dazzling exterior, I’m just a regular person. I put my skirt on two legs at a time. Being a Notary may seem glamorous. At least if you’re Amish. But when you get down to it, it’s a lot of hard work. You have to show up for appointments, follow instructions, and deal with a lot of egos.

HOST: So, Sylvia, what was one of the worst moments you have had as a Notary?

SYLVIA: Since we Notaries are always judged by our appearances, the worst experience I had was when I had to refill my stamp’s ink, and it spilled all over my hand and my outfit. I was mortified. The blue ink clashed with my green blouse. Then, at another signing, I had to pretend the signer’s picture ID looked like him before he’d obviously aged from having to carry around such an ugly picture ID. Being a Notary is not all fun and games. There are a lot of hardships.

HOST: That was fascinating. So, what things about you are the same as say — an average person?

SYLVIA: When I get out of my glittering Notary outfit, and take off the professional makeup that I get done in the green room, I’m just a regular person. I go jogging. I have two cats and a small dog. I witness them doing their business on the front lawn. See? A notary’s work is never done. I bake cakes. I do all of the normal things that regular people with no lives do. The only real difference between me and others is that my life is incredibly exciting next to watching paint dry.

HOST: Well, that was very interesting talking to you. And we’ll be back next week with our next episode of “Notaries without Makeup!”

.

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January 17, 2011

A Massachusetts Notary Speaks Out. A coerced signature.

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 12:02 am

A few days ago I spoke to a Massachusetts Notary Public on our list. She told me that there are some strange laws out there that almost got her in trouble. She had to appear before a judge due to a Notarization gone wrong. The wife was forced to sign by the husband and she didn’t really want to. I think they were from a foreign country where men boss people around because American men know what will happen to them if they boss people around.

Unbeknownst to me, there is an unusual law in Massachusetts where for some or all Notarial acts, the Notary must ask the signer (or ask the signer to swear — forgot which) if they are signing on their own free will.

I have never heard of a signer being coerced to sign in America. In India it happens a lot when people want to steal your property.

The judge made the Notary promise to always make the signer claim that they are signing under their own free will otherwise their commission would be revoked. Yikes. But, that is not a bad law.

I wonder why we don’t have that law in California. We have all types of other nonsensical laws. Hmmm.

Acknowledged signature
Witnessed signature
Forged signature
UnCoerced signature

So, now we have a new notary act — an uncoerced signature. That should be its own act not to be confused with an acknowledged signature.

The moral of the story is, if you notarize strange foreigners where the men think that men can still act like men and get away with it, beware, they might be forcing the females to sign.

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January 15, 2011

2014 Most ACTIVE signing companies

Filed under: Popular Signing Co. Lists,Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 10:31 am

These companies were the most active in 2014 each with multiple comments in our forum.

Accurate National Signing Service
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5512

Always Signing
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6515

American Signing Connection
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2397

BNN Services
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4694

Convenient Closers
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6071

Doc Pros
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2546

e-Notaries.net
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4810

Executive Signing Agents
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2218

FASS
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2829

Field Choice
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4677

Global Notary
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2517

Land & Law Group
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6102

Loan Processing Center
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4934

LSI
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6591

Mobile Signing Solutions Corp
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4379

Mortgage Connect LP
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3430

Morttgagedocs.com
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4082

Nations Direct
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2436

Servicelink
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3537

Sign Here Ink
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6596

Signing Stream
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5872

Skye Closings
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3714

Timios Title
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4907

WFG National Title Insurance Company
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5117

.

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January 14, 2011

Seinfeld — George Needs a Notary

George is visiting his folks.

ESTELLE: Georgie, your father and I have a surprise for you.

GEORGE: Oh God.

FRANK: Your mother and I are gonna renew our vows.

GEORGE: Renew your vows? The vows you recited at your wedding? I’ve got news for you. Whatever they were, they didn’t take.

ESTELLE: Don’t get smart with us, Georgie! Your father and I want to renew the love we have for each other! And you’re giving me away.

George reacts.

Then at the coffee shop with Jerry:

JERRY: Giving her away? You should be thrilled. Just as long as you don’t have to take her back.

GEORGE: They’re throwing a ceremony. The whole kit and caboodle.

JERRY: Notice it’s never half a kit and caboodle?

GEORGE: (annoyed) Yeah. I’ve noticed. Oh and get this – Kramer’s my father’s Best Man.

JERRY: He’s never been the best anything.

GEORGE: My folks are renewing their vows. And Ellen, who is again dumping me, keeps renewing her vow never to see me again.

Kramer enters and joins them.

GEORGE: How come you’re the Best Man?

KRAMER: I think that goes without saying.

GEORGE: This whole thing’s a joke. They’ve been at each other’s throats for forty years. How can renewing their vows change anything?

KRAMER: I’ll tell you what you should do. Bring a notary to the ceremony and have him certify the vows. That way, they’ll have to abide by them or they can be locked up for perjury.

GEORGE: (a beat) Kramer, that’s a brilliant idea.

JERRY: Careful. You could be locked up for perjury.

GEORGE: No, don’t you see? Either they’ll have to love and obey each other, and stop their incessant yelling, or they’ll be thrown in jail. Either way – I win!

Later at the renewal ceremony…

KRAMER: (to Estelle) Just look at you. You’re the picture of relative youth!

ESTELLE: Relative?

KRAMER: No, I’m just the best man, but I feel like family.

GEORGE: Where’s the notary? This has disaster written all over it, I just know it.

JERRY: Relax. You’re not losing a mother, you’re losing your mind.

NOTARY: Sorry I’m late. Half-way here, I remembered I forgot my seal.

GEORGE: You remembered you forgot your seal?

JERRY: He remembered. And he forgot. He’s Even-Steven.

NOTARY: (to Frank) Before you recite your vows, I’ll need you to sign them.

FRANK: What are you talking about? Who the hell are you?

NOTARY: Your vows. I’m the notary.

Justice of the Peace hands vows to notary.

FRANK: I didn’t order any notary.

GEORGE: I did. It’s my little gift to you. To make sure that this time… they’re official.

FRANK: What are you talking about?

GEORGE: Your vows! The love you two express for each other has to be given… the gravitas and respect it deserves. If you abide by your vows… everything will be hunky-dory.

FRANK: And what if I don’t?

GEORGE: … I’m sure they’ll let you two have conjugal visits.

FRANK: Here, give me the damn paper.

Frank signs it.

GEORGE: (to Jerry) Now I know how Carter felt when he pulled off that peace treaty.

ELAINE: Can we get this show on the road? I need to get back to de-linting sweaters for Mr. Pitt.

JERRY: He’s got you de-linting sweaters now?

ELAINE: Hey, it’s a step up from un-salting his pretzels.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: We’re gathered here today to witness the re-joining of Frank and Estelle Costanza. May I have the vows please?

Notary hands him the freshly sealed and document to refer to.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: (reading) “I, Frank Costanza, take again as my wife, Estelle Costanza…”

KRAMER: (teary-eyed) This part always gets me.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: “ … as a continual thorn in my backside…”

GEORGE: Continual thorn? Stop! Let me see that. (Grabs vows, starts reading) “…to aggravate me for the rest of my life. I, Estelle Costanza, take again as my husband, Frank Costanza, the cheapest man who doesn’t clip his ear hair I’ve ever known…” Are you nuts? You can’t recite these vows!

FRANK: Why not? They come from our hearts.

ESTELLE: Your father’s right. For a change.

NOTARY: Their new vows are on an affidavit on which they’ve already affirmed under penalty of perjury that the information is the truth. Your father signed it in my presence. Notice my seal.

GEORGE: I see your seal! Well that’s just great. Now they’re legally obligated to drive each other bonkers, along with me!

JERRY: (to notary) Question: The next time my friend here gets a Dear John letter, if your seal isn’t on it, does that mean he didn’t officially get dumped?

NOTARY: No, he’d still be dumped.

JERRY: (to George) Hey, I tried.

.

You might also like:

Seinfeld: George’s parents get a vow renewal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15132

The Seinfeld episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

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