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August 9, 2024

Maximizing Earnings: The Most Profitable Loan Signings

Filed under: Signing Tips — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

In today’s fast-paced real estate and business environment, loan signings are crucial in helping homeowners and business owners secure the funds they need to achieve their goals. Understanding the most profitable loan signings can significantly impact your financial success. This article will explore the key factors that make certain loan signings more profitable and how to maximize your earnings through these opportunities.

Understanding Loan Signings

Loan signings are formal meetings where borrowers sign the documents necessary to complete a loan transaction. These meetings involve the borrower, the lender, and often a notary public, who verifies the parties’ identities and ensures the documents are signed correctly. The profitability of a loan signing can vary based on several factors, including the loan amount, complexity, and type.

Types of Profitable Loan Signings

  1. Home Purchase Loan Signings
  2. Home purchase loan signings are among the most profitable because they typically involve large sums of money. These transactions often require comprehensive documentation and multiple signings, leading to higher fees for notaries. The complexity of the process, along with the significant investment, makes these signings lucrative opportunities for those involved.
  3. Refinance Loan Signings
  4. Refinancing a home loan can be attractive for homeowners looking to take advantage of lower interest rates or better terms. The demand for refinance loan signings has increased in recent years, and notaries can benefit from the steady stream of business. While these signings may be smaller than home purchase transactions, they often occur more frequently, providing consistent income.
  5. Commercial Loan Signings
  6. Business owners seeking to expand operations or invest in new projects often require commercial loans. These signings can be exceptionally profitable due to the substantial amounts involved. The documentation for commercial loans can be more complex, resulting in higher fees for those facilitating the process.
  7. Reverse Mortgage Loan Signings
  8. Reverse mortgages are specialized loans for homeowners aged 62 and older, allowing them to convert part of their home equity into cash. These signings often involve detailed documentation and explanations, resulting in higher earnings for notaries and professionals.

Strategies for Maximizing Earnings

  1. Specialize in High-Value Transactions
  2. Focusing on high-value transactions such as home purchases and commercial loan signings can significantly increase your earnings. Specializing in these areas may require additional training and expertise, but the potential financial rewards make it worthwhile.
  3. Build Relationships with Lenders and Real Estate Agents
  4. Establishing strong connections with lenders, real estate agents, and title companies can lead to a steady stream of business. Networking within these industries will position you as a trusted professional, ensuring you are called upon for the most profitable loan signings.
  5. Enhance Your Skill Set
  6. Improving your skills and knowledge in the loan signing process will set you apart from the competition. Consider obtaining certifications or attending workshops to stay updated on industry trends and best practices. Additional services, such as using an inkless embosser for document verification, can also enhance your value.
  7. Provide Exceptional Customer Service
  8. Delivering outstanding customer service is key to building a successful loan signing business. Ensuring a smooth and efficient signing process will lead to repeat business and referrals, further increasing profitability.

Challenges to Consider

While the potential for profitability is high in the loan signing business, there are challenges to be aware of. Competition can be fierce, and market fluctuations may impact the demand for certain loan signings. Staying adaptable and continuously seeking ways to improve your services will help you navigate these challenges effectively.

Unlocking the Potential of Profitable Loan Signings

Understanding the dynamics of the most profitable loan signings is essential for homeowners and business owners looking to maximize their earnings. By focusing on high-value transactions, building strong industry relationships, enhancing your skills, and providing exceptional service, you can unlock the full potential of this lucrative field. Whether you’re a homeowner refinancing your property or a business owner seeking capital for growth, the right loan signing opportunities can lead to significant financial success.

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January 30, 2022

Don’t park in the driveway?

Filed under: Etiquette,Popular on Facebook (A little) — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 8:37 am

This article was originally published many years ago.

Don’t Park in the Driveway?
 
This sounds like a dull topic, but the type of responses we get, keep getting better by the day. This issue is the least clear cut, and most confusing issue that notaries face.  Yet, so few notaries ever have this issue cross their mind. 
 
Don’t Park in the Driveway.
Its rude and unprofessional to park in the driveway.  You are leaking fluids on someone’s driveway, preventing them and their family from parking there, and potentially blocking someone.  But, sometimes, there are situations where you should park in the driveway.  You could make several Seinfeld episodes out of this topic.  There is a general rule, and there are dozens of exceptions.
 
(1) I’m confused, isn’t that what driveways are for?  No! The driveway is for the borrower to park in, not the signing agent.  You are a guest, and not the resident.  Don’t park there without permission, and don’t ask permission unlesss you really have to.
 
(2) In regards to “Don’t park in the driveway”, please be aware that many gated communities have banned on-street parking. Check with the homeowner if street parking is allowed when you make the confirmation call. (This is true especially in Florida.)
 
(3) In regards to “Don’t park in the driveway”……where I live most of the time that is ONLY place to park. When I was a new signing agent, that piece of information caused me a lot of stress, but have since realized that I have to do what I have to do. I try not to block in vehicles, but that isn’t always possible.
 
(4) If there is a snow storm, you need to park in the driveway, otherwise the snow plow will cover your car with snow.
 
(5) In rural communities, driveways might be more than a half a mile long, so it behooves you to park in the driveway in such a situation. In winter, it wouldn’t be safe to walk up such a long driveway.
 
(6) Some notaries say, they always park in driveways taking care not to block someone in and never had any trouble. Other notaries say that they would never park in someone’s driveway no matter what.
 
(7) One lady says that a customer complained that she parked in the street instead of the driveway.
 
(8) There might be signs on the street not allowing street parking. That means you are forced to park on the driveway.
 
(9) In some neighborhoods the streets are very narrow, making it a better choice to park in the driveway.
 
The bottom line is that if you value etiquette and manners, and take them to the highest level, just ask where the borrower would like you to park, and then everyone will love you, and might even love your leaking coolant too!

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January 28, 2022

Bartender Notary: A reverse mortgage on the rocks!

Filed under: Humorous Posts,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:54 pm

This was originally published in 2013.

Signing with the Bartender-Notary: Reverse Mortgage on the Rocks

The bartender notary knocks on the door. “Hi, I’m the bartender notary. I’m here to do your signing.”
“Sure, come right in,” says Joe the borrower.

They go to the dining room table to do the signing. The bartender notary looks around and says, “Hey, isn’t that a wet bar in the back of your living room?”
“Yes.”
“Would you mind if we sat over there?; I would feel much more comfortable sitting over there,” the bartender notary says.
Joe goes behind the bar and asks, “Where am I supposed to sit?”
“No, I’m the bartender so I go behind the bar. you sit on the stool on the other side,” the notary insists.

“Aren’t we gonna do the signing?” asks Joe.
The notary opens his briefcase and takes out a few flasks of non-alcoholic drinks, a tall glass, and a little umbrella. “I’m frustrated, because , when I go to signings, no one ever offers me a drink…maybe after half an hour they might offer me some tap water if I’m lucky…So I decided to turn the tables around…or the counters, as the case may be…and offer the signers a drink. I make my own orange-cranberry spritzer…would you like one of those…or would you like a virgin lemonade? I’ve got everything except ice.”

“Make me a strawberry lime spritzer…and can you muddle the fruits a little? Wait—” says Joe. “Aren’t we supposed to be doing a signing?”
“I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before we do the signing.”
“Ok, I’ll play along,” says Joe.

“How about those Dodgers, Joe? Who are they gonna trade?”
“Well, right now, I’m ready to trade notaries—if we don’t get started with the signing right away.”
“Ok, let’s do the signing,” the notary shrugs.
“Actually,” Joe says, “my reverse mortgage was on the rocks since the beginning of the application process, so I decided to go for a refinance– straight up.”

“Ok,” the notary says.“Your first document is a Deed of Trust. May I see some ID, sir?”
The borrower says, “What, I don’t look over 21?”
“Just a precaution, sir.”

The bartender notary opens his journal and begins to record the types of documents, the patron-borrower’s ID, and the types of drinks served at the signing.

The notary says, “This is your Deed of Trust. Your loan amount is right here; please initial all pages of the document and sign on the last page.”

They get to the Note; the notary says, “This is your Note. Your interest rate is 4.5%. The last loan I signed was an adjustable rate mortgage. I asked the borrower if he would like his interest rate shaken or stirred when the adjustment date comes in two years. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t think it was very funny. I’m lucky he didn’t trade me. Maybe it was how I said it…”

Then the notary asks, “So how’s the wife treating you?”
“Oh, I canned her years ago… I have a girlfriend,” says Joe.
“Do you think she will be in need of a bartender-notary anytime soon?”
“No she lives in an apartment. She won’t need to refinance anything in this lifetime.”

“So waddaya think–those interest rates—are they gonna go up or down?” asks the bartender notary.
“Oh, the Fed’s gotta keep it about the same—or you notaries will all be out of a job!”

“Next, we are going to look at the TIL. This is your Truth in Lending disclosure. Your APR is right here. So are we going into Iran? Whaddaya think the chances are that we invade Iran?”
Joe the signer looks at the TIL and says, “I’d give it about a 4.97%… Hey, I thought we’re not supposed to talk about politics at the signing?”
“That’s my trademark, I have to talk about politics because I’m the bartender notary… that’s what bartenders talk about. Would you like some bar snacks? We have peanuts, wasabi chips … Did you hear about LAX Vineyards new wine blend? It’s a cross between a cab, a merlot, and a shuttle. It’s very popular with bartenders. Did you hear about the wine documentary from Ireland? It’s called Cork Uncorked… There’s a special kind of wine for a signing… Did you hear about the Reverse Mortgage Cabernet? It’s rich in tannins and has two subtle notes…black cherry, and a hint of cocoa…and a smooth finish…assuming that we don’t have to call the lender.”

Joe asks, “What’s next?”
“The next document is your HUD.”

They go to the HUD. Joe the borrower asks, “Oh, so is my strawberry lime spritzer documented in the HUD?”
“Yeah, I think it’s right there under the termite inspection…Let’s just sign the rest of these documents; I have to close up soon…Last call,” says the notary.

They finish signing the rest of the documents.

The notary takes the borrower’s copy of the Deed of Trust and places it next to the signed Deed of Trust. Joe looks at it and says, “There are two Deeds of Trust. I’m seeing double. I thought that strawberry lime spritzer was non-alcoholic…”

“No! These are your borrower’s copies. Are you gonna be ok—or should I call you a cab?”
Joe: “I’m already home…I live here.”

Tweets:
(1) I’m frustrated because when I go to signings, nobody ever offers me a drink!
(2) Bartender notary prefers to do his signings sitting on stools near the wet-bar.
(3) I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before signing.”

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January 16, 2022

Quiz: You know you’re a good Notary when you…

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Linked In,Popular Overall — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 9:54 am

What type of Notary are you? A good one or a bad one? I’m not sure who created the questions for, “You know you’re a redneck if you…”
So, I’ll create my own version of this satirical banter, and come up with my own version for Notaries that will have some technical merit.

You know you’re a bad Notary when you…

(1) Do you fail to call the borrower to confirm the appointment that signing company set, and just show up?
If you don’t call and make sure that all parties involved (watch out for spousal signatures) will be there and on time, with a current ID with matching names — you might be in for some wasted time. If you don’t get the documents signed, you might not get paid. You might waste two hours for nothing because you don’t think you “need” to call the borrowers, or because you were asked not to. It is your appointment and your responsibility!

(2) Do you send loose certificates in the mail?
Lenders and Title companies are notorious for asking notaries to break the law and send loose certiifcates. In some states it is a Misdemeanor if you ask a Notary to do something illegal. Report all illegal requests to your State Notary Division immediately. No second chances!

(3) Do you fail to get certified by all agencies that you purchase “effective” advertising from? Or do you say, I don’t “need” your certification because I’m already “certified” without even disclosing the name of the organization who certified you? There is no such thing as just being “certified” as notary certification is not regulated by any government.

(4) Do you say, “I have my Notary” when you really mean you have your Notary Commission?

(5) Do you fail to use a Notary Journal or Seal simply because your state doesn’t require it? What happens if an investigator asks about a potentially fraudulent transaction you were involved in and you have no evidence for the court? The court case might be really long and you might get in really big trouble.

(6) Do you fail to keep thumbprints of signers in your journal because your state doesn’t require it?
Guess what? You might end up in court if you don’t take thumbprints, especially on transactions affecting high dollar figures such as properties.

(7) Do you fail to administer Oaths to credible witnesses or for Jurats because you are not well enough trained to know how, or even to know that you are required? Or, perhaps you don’t even know what a credible witness even is. Better look this up in your state Notary handbook.

You know you’re a good Notary when…

(1) The hair on your neck stand up straight when you see someone try to sign with a middle initial that doesn’t exist on their identification.

(2) You use an inked seal and an embosser with a raised non-inked seal to make it detectable if pages are swapped or photocopied.

(3) You take copious notes in your journal about the signers, what went on in the signing, and the building / neighborhood where the signing took place to job your memory should you ever be summoned into court.

(4) You sell your car, and buy a few top spots on 123notary.com!

There are many other technical points and best practices that we could address, but for this hopefully entertaining blog entry — that’s all folks!

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January 13, 2022

A notary gets sued, but E&O won’t help out!

Filed under: Business Tips,Drama & Tragedy,Legal Issues,Ninja Theme Articles — Tags: , — admin @ 9:19 am

This was originally published many years ago.

We had a notary public whose name will remain anonymous. I will not disclose her location either. But, she is being sued because a lender pulled a fast one on a borrower. The borrower is suing everyone connected to the loan. But, the borrower should know that the notary public has nothing to do with the loan, doesn’t know the lender, and doesn’t benefit from the loan other than to collect their small fee.

The story gets worse though. This notary’s E&O insurance policy wouldn’t help out with any of the legal expenses, or potential damages simply because they claim that the notary never made a clerical error which is true.

The notary public went to get legal counsel, and a neighbor / friend of the notary public offered to help at a discounted rate. But, the discounted estimate for the entire case was $30,000. It doesn’t make sense to me why a notary should pay $30,000 to defend themself from a false accusation.

In any case, we should pray for this notary public, so that she can get off the hook of being falsely accused. She did nothing wrong and shouldn’t suffer like this.

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January 2, 2022

Welcome to the Notary Hotel

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Linked In,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 8:04 pm

Originally posted many years ago

Welcome to the Notary Hotel.

Borrower: “Hello, I’d like to file a formal complaint. The notary didn’t come with a complimentary continental breakfast!”
Clerk: “Sorry about that, but breakfast is only from 6am to 9am weekdays and from 7am to 10am on weekends.”
Borrower: “Also, the notary didn’t sanitize my thumb after thumb printing me!”
Clerk: “Oh, really, I’ll have to write that notary up!”
Borrower: “Aren’t I supposed to get a mint on the top of my loan document stack?”
Clerk: “Hmm, that is part of the Notary Hotel’s branding. I’m really sorry about that.”
Borrower: “Also, the Notary didn’t observe the don’t disturb sign while I was reading the Settlement Statement!”
Clerk: “Oh brother, it’s time we fire that Notary!”
Borrower: “I asked the Notary to give my wife a wake up call when the signing was finished. She fell asleep halfway through the Affidavit of Occupancy.”
Clerk: “It is safe to assume that the Notary failed to give you your complimentary wake up call. Tell me, was there anything good about your signing?”
Borrower: “Well, the Notary gave me some lemongrass moisturizer and a shower cap! I enjoyed those.”
Clerk: “So, there is a silver lining on the cloud next to every shower-head!”
Borrower: “The Notary wanted to kick us out three minutes before check out time while I was reading the automatic payment transfer authorization.”
Clerk: “I’ll add that comment to your file.”
Borrower: “At least I was given two hours of free wi-fi during my stay!”

Clerk: “Did you try out our unique cable T.V. system? You can get 328 complimentary channels including — the signing channel!”
Borrower: “You make me feel like I really missed out!”
Clerk: “Next week we’re having a special. Sign a line of credit while you’re in line for Belgian waffles.”
Borrower: “Oh, you’re going to make waffles for us?”
Clerk: “Not exactly, you stand in line so you can make them yourself. When you think about it, we should be paying you to stay here and stand in line so many times. You stand in line to check in, check out, use the shower for the “equity pool,” and also to make waffles! We’re going to have to do something about those lines!”
Borrower: “You’ve got a point there!”
Clerk: “I’m sorry you had a negative experience. To make it up to you, next time you stay with us, we’ll let you upgrade at no cost to one of our signature rooms, if one is available at the time of your stay!”
Borrower: “If a signature room is not available, I’ll assume that you’ll give me an upgrade to an ‘initial’ room, a condensed version of the same thing?”
Clerk: “Actually, I never thought of that, but we do have digital signature rooms that are also often available. Instead of having a key to the room, you get a password. The welcome mat is a huge signature scanning pad — you’ll love it. Digital Signature rooms come with virtual windows with views of anyplace in the world. The cable T.V. is also very different. Instead of paper-view, it comes with paperless-view because it’s digital.

Borrower: “The other thing that I didn’t understand is that my room key was in the shape of a stamp. Instead of swiping it in a reader like other hotels, I had to affix a digital stamp of my seal on what looked like a scanner. Very perplexing. My notary seal digital key also had commission room number 314 an expiration date of 11am the next morning. I guess that is check out time.”
Clerk: “Well, we like to maintain a notary theme at all times. After all, this is the Notary Hotel. Just thank god we don’t have eight digit commission room numbers on the digital seal!”

For those of you who want to visit the Notary Hotel, we have all the amenities. Swimming “equity pools”, business centers, tennis, movies, and of course an endless supply of complimentary blue pens. All you have to do is fax us an order confirmation and sign in once you arrive! Some people stay here their entire commissions!

Tweets:
(1) The Notary Hotel: Does my notarization come w/a wake up call?
(2) The Notary Hotel is so comfortable, some notaries stay there their entire commission.
(3) Their signing took place at The Notary Hotel & the wife requested a wakeup call after the signing was done.
(4) At The Notary Hotel: they didn’t observe the don’t disturb sign while I was reading the Settlement Statement!
(5) At The Notary Hotel, Showtime & HBO are free, but the Signing Channel costs $40 (not including fax backs)
(6) Check out the digital signature rooms at The Notary Hotel

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January 1, 2022

Who is the authority at a Notary Loan Signing?

Filed under: Loan Signing 101 — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:13 pm

Originally published several years ago.

Notary Public Authority

We often ask questions about authority to signing agents, and the results are horrifying. Most Notaries do not know who is in charge of what. So, this article will sum it up clearly.

Notary Public
A Notary Public is a state appointed state official who is paid by customers, but whose “boss” or authority is the state Notary division. Many Notaries Public seem to be confused as to who their boss is, the one paying them or the one commissioning them. The problem is further complicated by the fact that the ones paying them often pay them for more than just Notary services as travel, pick up, drop off, and supervision of non-notarized signatures and packages seem to be part of the deal if you are a Signing Agent.

The Notary is the sole authority regarding what goes in a Notary certificate such as an Acknowledgment, Jurat, etc., what goes in the journal, what is allowed or not allowed, and how a notarization should be done.

It is common that Notaries have questions during a loan signing and direct those questions to the Lender or Title representative. This is okay for Title or Lending questions, but not for Notary questions where the Notary may only turn for help to their state Notary division, official Notary handbook, or perhaps the NNA hotline.

Notaries should NOT ask the Lender for Notary advice because:
1. The Lender is probably not a Notary
2. If the Lender is a Notary they might be in a different state
3. If the Lender is a Notary and in the same state they might not be knowledgeable.
4. If the Lender is a Notary, in the same state, and knowledgeable, they might (are likely to) give you advice that would make the job go more smoothly for them, yet have tremendous liability for you.
5. You are the one appointed to the job, so even if the person you are asking for advice is a Notary, they are not the one whose commission number gets put on the certificate, and you are the one going to jail if something goes wrong. Therefor, you have to know your laws and what you can and cannot do, etc.

Who can initial and where?
Any initials on a Notary certificate are done exclusively by the Notary Public. It looks like tampering if the borrower or anyone else makes marks on a Notary certificate. The borrower may initial documents, but not the Notary certificate or Notary section in or attached to a notarized document

The Lender
The Lender is the “boss” of what happens with loan documents. If the Lender authorizes a change, initialing, cross outs, etc., on an actual loan document that is NOT in the notary section, that is up to them and they are the authority on that matter, not the Notary. The minute the issue becomes with a Notary certificate, then the authority swings over to the Notary (even if the Notary doesn’t have a clue what to do.)

The Title Officer
The appointed Title company might be a good source of information about how to handle any issues that might come up with Title documents or recorded documents. You can ask them if you have questions, but don’t let them answer Notary questions.

Issues of Preference can be asked to the Lender
Sometimes there is more than one legal way to handle a situation. If there is an error on a preprinted Acknowledgment, and your state allows a choice of crossing out & initialing vs. using a fresh Acknowledgment form, you have a choice. The Notary has the right to make that choice on his/her own and choose the option that he/she feels is more prudent or ask the Lender. However, this is a situation where the Notary can ask the Lender not for advice, but for preference. If the Lender would prefer a loose Acknowledgment stapled on to the document rather than crossing out & initialing the original form, the Notary can proceed accordingly.

The Borrower
The borrower has the right to sign, not sign, tell you where to park and more. Their preferences matter as well.

Your State
Your state Notary division decides what the laws are in your state, how they are explained or document in your official Notary handbook, etc. They are your boss, so you do whatever they say. Additionally, if you are weak on your Notary knowledge, that can lead to ending up in court as a witness, having your commission revoked, suspended or terminated. Additionally, it is possible to be convicted of a crime if you are thought to be involved in property related fraud, or if you filled out a form stating that an Oath was taken when in fact it was never taken which is a daily fraud that most Notaries engage in that is unacceptable.
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December 31, 2021

The future of Notary work

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 8:03 am

The way the world looks, the way things are going, it looks very bleak, but not for notarizing those who are owing (borrowers).

I looked into my crystal ball, and it was revealed to me. And no, I didn’t get the cheap kind at crystal balls for less. I saw a world of chaos, turmoil, crime, strife. Perhaps inflation would go way up, and interest rates too. People would be dying in mass from the long term side effects of the vaccine that was supposed to keep us “safe”. Where is your safety now Fred said looking down at his demised wife Sylvia lying in her grave three years after taking one of the vaccines. Did the FDA approve it? Was it tested in the long run? No, because there was no time. We had to administer it to as many young and middle aged people as possible who had a one in ten thousand or less chance of dying from Covid, and that was to keep them “safe.” They were more in danger of dying from being struck by lightning or being molested by a variety of politicians in NY or NJ whose names we won’t mention. But, I digress.

Then, it seems that God is upset with the world and upset with America. He has retracted his blessings. But, what does that mean for the Notaries of America? Is that good or bad for us they ask? Here is my thought.

Between disasters, war, vaccine related deaths, and economic chaos, there will be more people buying and selling properties. Notaries these days do lots of “buyers” and “sellers.” Foreclosures often require a notary too. Refinancing tends to be higher when interest rates are low, but in this crazy reality we are entering, people might get refinances if interest rates go up in anticipation that they would go up much more.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us other than WW3, Armageddon, The Messiah, and hopefully a store near me that sells powdered Mexican style pequin pepper (goes great in stir fries). But, I see that Notary work will be busy probably for the next ten years or more.

I believe that the angels got me into this business partly because they knew it suited me. And partly because in 2000 when they got me into this, they saw the shutdowns and quarantines coming and wanted me to have a job I could do from home so I would be economically stable. Well, I am feeling very fortunate and grateful for the good graces of these higher beings who saved my rear that time and many other times.

My only advice to you Notaries out there is:
Get more reviews
Get a catchy business name and register it.
Become an expert at writing a compelling notes section
Stay close (or closer) to God, so when he destroys the planet he’ll consider saving you as an individual even if he sacks your community (no joke).
And try the Thai green curry on Wilshire — it’s really excellent; just the right amount of spice.

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May 28, 2021

A clown becomes a signing agent

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 6:34 am

The clown business gets slow because of Covid-19 (which is no joke) and a clown desperate for business joins 123notary. He starts getting jobs right away because his notes section is so unique with comical references and cute jokes. He goes on his first signing.

CLOWN: I’m Larry and I’m here to do your signing.

SIGNER: Oh, wonderful. Please come in Larry. Love the face paint. I think this clowning around Notary service will really take off.

CLOWN: Before we handle the Deed of Trust, I’m going to juggle the borrower copies, the main copies, and this plastic cup. This is way more entertaining than your last signer I bet.

SIGNER: Yeah. I read the reviews. “This guy is a clown!” and “He’s good at juggling appointments.” So far you didn’t botch any signings it looks like.

CLOWN: Yes, but the scheduling is hectic. Last week was like a circus going to all of my appointments. It will get worse if the interest rate becomes negative. They will pay you to borrow money.

SIGNER: Interesting. Hey look, I have my own rubber Notary stamp…. Ooops, it squirted you.

CLOWN: Hey, aren’t I supposed to do that? On the other hand, maybe that’s why you picked me. In any case, my slogan is — when it comes to getting your signing done on time, and correctly the first time — we don’t clown around.

SIGNER: I like that tiny car you have outside. How do you fit in it?

CLOWN: Oh, I fit with ten other family members. We run around the car three times before getting in. Half of my sister hangs out the window, but it’s all good. Okay, now let’s get serious… please disregard my red nose when trying to be serious. Let me clear my throat… Um-hmmm. Now, I’m serious… (honk honk). We’ll begin with the Deed of Trust, and then we have the Note. Make sure the property address is correct otherwise you might be paying for someone else your whole life.

SIGNER: Okay…

(20 minutes later)

SIGNER: We finished the package!

CLOWN: Now, since you have high ceilings, we went over that by phone, I am going to walk around the signing table on stilts…

SIGNER: Well done. BTW, Fedex is around the corner and their open until 11pm even during Covid.

CLOWN: Super. And last, but not least, a signing with me is never complete unless the signer gets a pie in the face!!!

SIGNER: Excuse me….. too late. I’ll write a review with a photo warning your other clients of what to expect from you.

CLOWN: Most of my clients are bored with their life and this is exactly what they need. Besides, you didn’t have dessert yet tonight, right?

SIGNER: And I am behind on doing the laundry, now I have one more reason to get it done and fast, not to mention take a shower.

THE WIFE: Ha ha ha… He deserves that pie. He has no sense of humor about anything. Thanks Mr. Clown Notary. Let me double check your work to make sure you didn’t clown around notarizing documents…. nope… it’s all good. I use to be a Notary myself, but not the type of Notary you are.

CLOWN: Thanks for everything. I’ll drop the package right away.

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May 26, 2021

A therapist becomes a signing agent

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 6:33 am

Jeff the therapist gets tired of dealing with insurance companies, secretaries, and the daily hassle of being a psychotherapist and longs to become a Mobile Notary. However, he seems to have trouble transitioning into his new life.

JEFF: He, my name is Jeff Winkler and I am here to facilitate the signing of your refinance. Do you have any prior medical conditions I should know about?

SIGNER: No

JEFF: Are you on any medications that could complicate our signing?

SIGNER: Ummm. Lipitor

JEFF: Oh, is your cholesterol high?

SIGNER: No, because I take Lipitor. If I didn’t take Lipitor, then my cholesterol would be high.

JEFF: I understand. Do you ever hear voices?

SIGNER: I think we all hear voices. My wife is the only big voice that I hear.

THE WIFE: I heard that!

JEFF: Great, well here is the package. Can we sit at the dining room table?

SIGNER: Fine

JEFF: Will your insurance be covering the signing?

SIGNER: I think the Notary fees is listed on the TRID or the Settlement Statement. It’s $200 and out of that I’m sure they pay you at least $35.

JEFF: Yup, sounds like your insurance company covered it and is giving the service provider their usual 20% or so for doing 99% of the work. Let’s see…. Now, here is your rate and on this other document your APR. The APR is higher than the rate, how does that make you feel?

SIGNER: It’s supposed to be higher because it incorporates fees and closing costs into the percentage plus it’s compounded.

JEFF: Aren’t I supposed to explain that to you? Maybe you should be the signing agent.

SIGNER: Does that bother you?

JEFF: No, but it perplexes me. Perhaps you have been through this several times and know the drill. I’m still fresh out of medical school with Loan Signing Systems. I just got a degree in signing from them. Was your mother also a borrower?

SIGNER: We had a loan under my father’s name as a child.

JEFF: How did that make you feel?

SIGNER: I think that is pretty standard. I was not aware of my parents’ financial arrangements.

JEFF: So you had no feelings about that. Uh-huh. I’m taking notes. Do you feel comfortable signing the entire package?

SIGNER: I’m already 90% done.

JEFF: Yes, and on this document here, you need to sign with your middle initial.

SIGNER: Yes, I will… By the way… How does that make you feel?

JEFF: I feel a sense of completeness when you use that middle initial. Something I never felt as a child.

SIGNER: I’m afraid our time is up.

JEFF: Hey! I’m supposed to say that. You’ve taken over my job as a Signing Agent AND as a therapist.

SIGNER: How does that make you feel?

JEFF: It makes my life easier and it provides comic relief?

SIGNER: Great, next time you can lie on the couch during our session. I’m doing a construction loan and I’ll request you. I run a few businesses and we are always doing signings.

JEFF: Oh, perfect. Here’s my card. I also do Weddings and Bar-Mitzvahs

SIGNER: Mazel-Tov. See you next time. There’s a Fedex station around the corner on Wilshire. It’s open late.

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