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April 12, 2011

Pricing for notary work: different strokes for different folks

Pricing for notary work – different strokes for different folks
 
Notaries argue endlessly about what to charge and what others should charge.
Some notaries wish that there could be a set fee in the industry for certain jobs.  That is not legal or possible.  Other notaries complain when low-ball signing companies offer them work for $40 or $50 which is better than nothing.  Many notaries complain that they did lots of work and didn’t get paid, which is a very serious issue.  So, what should you charge and why?
 
What fancy signers do
I know of many signers who will not leave the house for less than a particular set fee.  One notary public I know will not leave the house for less than $150, while others will not leave for less than $125.  They figure that they have to put up with getting dressed nicely, traffic, borrowers who want to take forever reading, lenders, and then trying to get paid.  It’s just not worth it for less.  But, these notaries have something that some of the rest of us don’t always have:  something to keep them busy during the rest of their time when they are not doing notaries.  If you rely exclusively on mobile notary and signing agent work to keep you busy, you have to take almost every job that comes your way. If you sell insurance, real estate, or have some other type of job, then you can pick and choose what type of notary work you do.  If the company has a bad reputation, or doesn’t pay enough, or if the job is even one mile outside of your coverage area, you have the luxury of saying no.
 
Additionally, many high-priced signers will not leave the house to notarize single documents for less than $50 travel fee no matter how close the job is.  Finding notaries who are available, close, and answer their phone is hard, so you can often get high travel fees if people can find you.
 
FYI: Notaries who are in the high price range generally have experience and finesse to back up their high prices. They are normally very reliable, well trained, well dressed, and have good business skills.  Those of us who don’t have all of our skill sets polished will have trouble commanding such high prices for signings.
 
What desperate signers do
Anyone who is not a convicted felon can be a mobile notary .  This profession is open  and easy to get into which means that there will be a lot of competition and a lot of newbies who will do anything to get work.  Some people become mobile notaries who are successful in what they do, but prefer the free lifestyle. Others get into this because they have mouths to feed, and this is the only way they can think of to sustain themselves.  Desperate signers are often new in the business, lacking experience, and are poorly trained.  They will often not be certified by 123notary, or NNA.  They will not know what they can get away with charging, and the quality of their work?  Who knows?  Desperate signers will work for $40 per signing, do fax backs, drive long distances paying a lot for gas, and then often not even get paid.  We wish these desperate types would consult us.  We would tell them to research all companies before working for them.  No matter how hungry you are, working for somoene who won’t pay you doesn’t make sense. You would be better off at home twiddling your thumbs.
 
What makes sense
We have another notary blog entry that goes over the components in price computations.  Its very complicated and goes over many factors. The biggest factor is how desperate you are.  If you don’t have enough work, then you need to become a regular for more companies.  It makes sense to accept lower paying work until your schedule is filled slightly more than you can comfortably handle.  Once you reach that threshold, then raise your minimum a notch or tighten your radius a notch.  Supply and demand is the ultimate deciding factor in what you charge.  No set fee schedule or recommendation from a friend can help you here.
 
Should I mention what I charge in my profile?
As a general rule, we say no.  Notaries change their pricing all the time, and with all the variables, you would have to write a novel to document exactly what you charge. Its easier if someone just calls and asks.  The low-ball companies call (bother) everyone, so you won’t be left out by them. The high-payers start with the top of the list and gravitate towards elite certified folks.  Changing your notes section to include fees doesn’t get you at the top of the list or elite certified, and won’t increase your business by much if at all.  Companies who know what you charge will still bother you to offer you jobs at half of what you charge. 
 
Marketing Marketing Marketing
The main thing to remember is to market yourself well. If you have a bigger net, you catch more fish, and then you keep the ones you like.  Even if you are busy, having more offers doesn’t hurt.  If you can take more jobs from companies you like, and decline jobs from companies who are less than your favorites, that is a beneficial way to go.

Tweets:
(1) Notaries argue endlessly about what to charge & what others should charge. Here’s what the pros do!
(2) How much is it worth to get dressed nicely, deal w/traffic, wait for borrowers who want to take forever, lenders & then try to get paid?
(3) The notary profession is easy to get into which means there’ll be lots of low priced competition!
 
You might also like:

Pricing formulas for mobile notary work. 
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=pricing\

Price Formulas and Time Spent
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=588

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April 8, 2011

Idaho Acknowledgment Certificates

Here is a sample Idaho Acknowledgment Certificate.

State of Idaho
County of _____________

This record was acknowledged before me on _____________(date) by______________(name[s] of individual[s]).

_________________________ (Signature of notary public)

(Stamp)

My commission expires: _________

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Notarizing a kidnapper

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 6:50 am

Notarizing a potential kidnapper

I had no evidence either way, I was just doing my job.  It was a dark night in Rosemead, CA, when I had just finished notarizing a grant deed for some old customers of mine when the phone rang. It was a company that I enjoyed working for that I hadn’t heard from for a while. They had a notarization for me in the neighboring city of Monterey Park. That is usually a safe place to be at night. What they didn’t tell me was that the client was a suspected kidnapper. I guess the company company who dispatched this job to me doesn’t include “Are you a kidnapper” on the list of questions they ask clients. I tried to call the location before I went there, but the phone number was incorrect. It was close, so I wasn’t too concerned. It was only ten minutes away, and practically on my way home. When I got to the venue, it was a run down motel with only six units. I was to go to unit #5. I knocked on the door, and a very nervous and agitated man in his 30’s answered the door. He seemed very bony, like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. His eyes were wild and deep set, and he was very frenetic. As I looked around the smoke filled room I noticed that there were seven people in the two room suite which included a kitchenette. Two elderly ladies were in a bed. I asked him who he needed to have notarized. He said he needed a power of attorney from his mom. His mother only had a thirty year old Mexican passport. Nobody else in the room had ID to be a credible witness except for the man I was working with who was the beneficiary. I told him that I couldn’t legally notarize his mother under those circumstances. Then, he pleaded with me and offered me lots of cash which he had laying on the table next to his overflowing ashtray, half empty beer bottles, and packs of cigarettes. Then he told me about the family feud he was in and how he was accused of kidnapping his mother. At that point, I started getting nervous. I told him that he should consult a lawyer. He said he was running out of cash and couldn’t afford to see a lawyer. They seemed like they were on the run. I told him I couldn’t legally help him. He continued to plead looking very desperate and distraught. Finally I had to apologize and leave.

This was one of the spookiest notary calls I have ever gone out on.  I just wonder what their real situation was, and if they were really running for the law.  There is no way to know. You can’t question someone in that condition or they might lose their cool. I guess they were probably illegal judging from the lack of proper identification. Thank god nothing happened.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of Mafia related posts about the Notary profession
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20352

Psych Episode about a Notary. Did the body die from food poisoning or was it murder?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19397

Flashpoint – Notary job for a hostage with a multi-million dollar contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18798

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April 6, 2011

The Jeremy Diet

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:01 am

The Jeremy Diet’s intention is to have all of the necessary nutrition you need in a day by eating sensible and hopefully yummy foods. It should be low in processed sugar, and high in vegetables, having enough protein, fiber, omega 3, K2, b12, and other essentials.

Here is my idea of a good daily diet program.

FIBER:
To live a long life, it is suggested that you consume a lot of fiber, enough so you have two bowel movements per day. Fiber helps to clean out your intestines so that toxins exit your system quickly. The following are good sources of fiber.

Psyllium husk: This adds bulk to your bowel movements. It is sold as a capsule in drug stores. It might slightly dehydrate as well, so drink lots of water if you consume this product.

Bran: Many cereals are made from bran or include bran in them

Berries: Berries have more fiber than any other whole food, especiallyblack berries

Fruits & Vegetables in general

Whole Grains

OMEGA-3
The best source of Omega three would be salmon, trout, halibut, and tuna. But, other fish have it too, but in smaller amounts. You can look up omega three content of the various fish online. Milk also has omega 3 in smaller amounts. Flax seeds have large amounts of Omega three. Walnuts have it too, but also have a lot of Omega 6 . The ratio of omega 3 to 6 in walnuts is about 1:4 which is fine, but it will not raise your overall ratio of Omega 3 to above 1:4. Fish and flax seeds will raise your overall Omega 3 to 6 ratio to a more healthy level. Omega 3 is good for your brain, and also decreases inflammation which can cause muscle pain and diseases.

K2
Vitamin K2 is less known and is responsible for transporting calcium from the arteries where it clogs things up and depositing calcium in your bones and teeth where it is needed. K2 can be found in: Goose & Duck liver, Natto (Japanese fermented soy beans), certain European cheeses (look them up), and certain types of eggs.

COFFEE & TEA
Coffee, black tea and green tea all contain different types of antioxidants. Chai tea from India comes with spices in it such as cloves, cardamom and ginger which are also loaded with antioxidants.

NUTS
Walnuts: Have half an ounce of Walnuts for Omega 3. It is also good for protein, and good for the brain, liver and kidneys. Almonds: Half an ounce of Almonds for protein, and vitamin E plus other minerals.

CHOCOLATE
Small quantities of dark chocolate (with no alkaline or milk products) are the highest source of antioxidants.

PROTEIN
Wild Salmon – low in fat, high in Omega 3, protein, high in vitamin D, B12, and other nutrients. Sustainably farmed salmon from a reputable source that does not use chemicals is a reasonable alternative.

Tempe: Although salmon tends to lower triglycerides and increase good cholesterol which lowers bad cholesterol, it is good to be vegetarian on some days to keep the overall cholesterol low so you don’t need lipitor.

Beans & Rice: Beans and rice or beans and corn have protein, but not enough for your daily requirement unless that is all you eat. But, to supplement a low meat intensive diet, some beans and rice are good.

Tofu is also a source of protein.

Milk or Yogurt: A glass of milk daily is a good source of protein and calcium.

Nuts: As mentioned in the nut category which I kept separate, nuts have about 4 grams of protein per ounce. A human needs about 50-60 grams of protein per day, so nut protein is a supplement and is not a good main source of protein.

Meat: Meat tends to be high in cholesterol. Bison, rabbit and turkey breast meat are lower in cholesterol. Lamb and chicken with skin on it tend to be higher in cholesterol. Meat is healthy, but should be eaten in moderation as it can lead to clogged arteries and can be somewhat toxic.

FRUITS
It is good to have a few items of fruit per day. Apples are healthy for your liver and intestine primarily, but are good overall. Oranges are good for C and B vitamins and nourish the heart energy in your body. Bananas nourish the intestines and have lots of potasium. Other fruits are good too.

BERRIES
I’m putting this in a separate category from fruits. Berries are good for keeping arteries clean of plaque. They are also beneficial to the kidneys and bladder especially cranberries. You can have berry juice. But, fresh whole berries are better as they have more enzymes when fresh plus they are the highest fiber whole food available. Blackberries are higher in fiber than any other whole food. You can also have berries in smoothies mixed with yogurt or other dairy.

ANTI-OXIDANTS
Antioxidants are critical as they help to keep your body from aging and help to prevent cancer.
Chocolate: Small quantities of dark chocolate (with no alkaline or milk products) are the highest source of antioxidants.
Berries
Tomatoes
Soy
Nuts
Lemons and lemon peel especially (detoxifying)
Wine – particularly red wine which is higher in resveratrol,
especially particular brands

KIDNEYS & BLADDER
Berries: (mentioned above) nourish the kidneys and bladder. It is good
to have a mix of berries as they all have different antioxidants. Cranberries are one of the most potent berries for the bladder and kidneys and should be a staple. But, pure cranberry juice is more potent than mixed and try to avoid products with high fructose corn syrup.

Mushrooms: Shitake mushrooms are anti-cancer and good for kidney health in general. Other types of mushrooms are also good for the kidney.

Bananas: Bananas nourish kidney qi as well.

Lamb: Lamb is high in cholesterol but has been known to boost kidney qi if eaten regularly.

LIVER & GALL BLADDER
To nourish the liver, you need foods like kale, spinach, Swiss Chard, daikon, romaine lettuce, beets, seaweed, cherries, celery, and apples. In general, dark green foods nourish the liver and are high in minerals and vitamin K. They also boost your metabolism if you want to lose weight. But, there are foods of other colors that are very purifying and nourishing for the liver. Since the liver is your body’s toxicity processing plant and nutrition storage depot, it is imperative that you keep the liver clean otherwise one day it might not be able to do its job effectively which could cause damage to other body parts such as your eyes, or your legs.

HEART
Tomatoes, oranges, red bell peppers, rare or medium rare beef, and chocolate are excellent foods that nourish the heart. If your heart is weak or if you have a heart condition, it is good to eat these types of foods daily.

STOMACH & SPLEEN
Both of these organs correspond to the earth element. However the foods that nourish these organs are not identical. Potatoes, peanuts, and lemons nourish the stomach. But, Carrots, ginger, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, and dark yellow or orange foods nourish the spleen. The earthy orange foods normally have high amounts of vitamin A

INTESTINES & LUNGS
To nourish the intestines you need foods corresponding to the metal element such as bananas, cabbage, broccoli, cruciferous vegetables in general (look that one up), onions, garlic, mango, celery. It is also recommended to have cereals high in fiber that might include bran. Psillium husk is a great fiber supplement that is excellent for adding bulk to your bowel movements and helps to scrape the walls of your intestine which need to be cleaned of hardened fecal matter.

Good bacteria vs. bad
Your intestines have billions of bacteria floating around. It is critical to understand this. Good bacteria aids in proper digestion. But, bad bacteria makes you crave sugar which is not healthy for you. Bad bacteria grows faster than good bacteria. Chlorine (bleach), and antibiotics in food or medicine kill all of your bacteria. So, when your bacteria grows back, it will be mostly bad bacteria. Foods that feed your bacteria are called prebiotics and include fermented foods such as:

Yogurt & Kefir
Wine
Pickles
Kombucha
Miso Soup – A Japanese soup made with fermented soy.
Natto
Kim Chi (korean pickled spicy cabbage with garlic)
Dosa (South Indian pancake made with fermented rice and bean flour.)
Uttapam (Another south indian pancake made with fermented rice flour.)

Fermented foods are found throughout the world. So, to get a good variety, it is good to familiarize yourself with some foreign foods.

SPICES
It is generally good for your circulation, liver health, and overall health to have spices in your cooking. There are many spices, particularly in Indian cooking.

OILS
There are different oils out there and much debate as to which oils are good for you and which are bad. In my opinion, fats should be consumed sparingly.
Vegetable oil: This is a processed oil loaded with omega 6 which
causes inflammation which leads to disease.
Olive Oil: A natural unprocessed oil. But, not ideal to cook with. Better if had raw on salads, etc.
Coconut oil: A natural minimally processed oil good for cooking.
Butter: High in cholesterol, but a natural form of grease.
Pork Fat: High in cholesterol, but natural grease.
Avocados & Raw Nuts: A source of healthy fats. But, consume in moderation.

SWEETENERS
There are many sweeteners out there. Which ones are healthier? It is hard to say. But, less processed sweeteners seem more healthy to me. Kane sugar: Popular in health food stores as an added sugar in packaged products.

High fructose corn syrup: a highly processed sweetener that I recommend avoiding if at all possible.

Sugar found in fruit: Fine, but don’t over do it. If having fruit juice it is possible to get too much sugar, but it is hard to overdose if eating whole foods as God intended us to eat.

Stevia: Not sure, see what the internet says about this. I believe it is a leaf.
Others: Not sure. I am not educated in this matter and cannot comment.

—————————————————————————-
—————————————————————————-

SUGGESTED DIET

1. The antioxidant snack – have once per day (good for heart & kidneys)
(1/2) an ounce of Walnuts
(1/2) an ounce of Almonds (raw is better)
1 ounce of dark chocolate
Berries: fresh or dried, or berry juice.
These foods taste good together.

2. Fresh juice (good for liver & intestines)
Spinach or Kale
Apple
Lemon
Celery

3. Stir Fry, Curry, or Soup
Cabbage, kale, or other vegetables cooked up with a little meat. Barley is good in soups too.

4. Fish
It is good to have fish a few times per week to get your omegas.

5. Cereal
Cereals are a great way to get fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is quick and convenient. Just don’t get an overly sweetened cereal.

6. Fresh Fruit
Fruit is easy and you don’t have to cook it. Whole fruit is better than fruit juice as it contains fiber and because it is fresh. But, if you can’t get fresh fruit conveniently, juice is a good way to get nutrition. You can get some of your fruit nutrition from real fruit and some from bottled juice.

7. Bottled Juice
If you want to nourish all of your organs in one meal, juice is an easy way to do it as it is easy to refrigerate and you can mix different juices together. Orange juice for heart, berry juices for kidneys, carrot for vitamin A, and green juices or apple for liver. For intestines it seems better to have cruciferous vegetables.

8. Sushi
Sushi is a nice way to get different types of fish, vegetables, and rice. I have natto sushi as well for my K2.

9. Other
In general, any type of fruit or vegetable is good, and it is good to get a variety and mix them up. Certain foods I think should be eaten daily like nuts, berries, and dark chocolate. But, other foods can be mixed up.

FOODS TO AVOID

Avoid overly sugary cereals, pastry, processed foods, processed oils, and processed proteins. Eat real food.

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April 3, 2011

Blaming the government for the will of the people & Covid Karma

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:01 am

Originally posted in September, 2020

I have been so upset with the government for allowing our constitutional rights to be betrayed for light and transient cause — a fake pandemic with fake death statistics where hospitals get paid extra if they say a death is Covid19 related.

But, the people want this, at least in California. In Georgia people want to go out with their guns and protect their church. In California people want to sit, do nothing and behave as if we are in grave danger from some fake emergency that requires the shutting down of most aspects of society and then lots of nagging and other unnecessary restrictions.

I still have not seen anyone even cough and only heard of one person who knows someone who I have met who died. One person dying is not a pandemic. If this were a real pandemic, you would see people dying in mass on the street, overflowing hospitals, and real panic.

But, what type of karma would a person have for wanting to put their neighbor out of a job? That could kill their neighbor. No work means no money. That can lead to evictions and starvation. If you encourage your governor to shut everything down, are you responsible if your neighbor dies?

The interesting thing is that most of the people out of work in California like the idea of being out of work and like the idea of saving themselves from the inescapable clutches of this mystery Covid19 that I had not seen a single soul have. So, can I say that they are “doing it to themselves?” Putting themselves out of work?

Some people are just so dumb. They don’t realize there is a problem until it hits them in the face. Do we have to wait until people are dying on the street because they were evicted in mass? Do we have to wait until people die of starvation in their apartments? The economy might bounce back in Republican states, but the air is so clean in Los Angeles that the economy cannot be functioning at more than 40% at best.

Let me sum it up for dummies.
Not working >> Not having money >> Getting evicted >> Starving in the street.

Now, if the government gives you a temporary hand out to tide you over, but your job doesn’t rematerialize magically when the government check dries out — the eviction and starvation is temporarily delayed by a few weeks.

It is kind of like staying at home doesn’t save you from Covid, it just delays how fast you are likely to get it by a few weeks. It doesn’t prevent you from getting it.

Vitamin D prevents Covid.
Having a job prevents evictions.
We would all be so much better off taking vitamin D pills, A, C, veggies and keeping going to work. But the damage is already done. We did it to ourselves. This is our karma.

All I can say is thank God I have a job. When my site went down for 7.5 days I began to see how hopeless it might be for the others who don’t have work. But, I cried not having work. People in my part of town don’t seem the slightest bit upset that most people aren’t working. Are they insane? Or do they just had bad karma.

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Notarizing an arsonist who blew his fingers off

It was just another afternoon, when I got a call for a notary job from an attorney in downtown Los Angeles. I was to meet the attorney at “Twin Towers” which is our most famous local jail to do the job. When I arrived, he was there on time in the waiting room. The room was filled with Los Angeles’ finest looking women, who apparently won’t date you unless you are a criminal. We had to fill out a small form and give it to the lobby guard. We then went through security and I took out all of the contents of my pockets: cell phone, wallet, coins, jacket, bag, belt, shoes, etc. The guards and parking attendants all knew me because I was a regular. They always went through my bag and asked about all of my various stamps, staplers, staples ( which are considered to be deadly weapons in a prison ), etc. They took my stapler apart to inspect its interior. Luckily I wasn’t strip searched. The guards often missed the refill staples in my which could be dangerous if they got in the wrong hands. Staples can be used to pick locks, and can even be a deadly weapon. Even a small piece of paper can be made into an instrument of death by jailbirds — so I hear.

The hallway of doom
Then, after security, it was time to traverse the hallway of doom. Each step down that lifeless  foreboding hallway had an echo and the distant sounds of metal doors clanking shut pervaded this ominous stretch of endless corridor. It twisted and turned at forty-five degree angles for hundreds of feet. The walls were made of cement bricks and there is always a stark and desolate feeling. For those of you who have never done a jail job before, there is always an ominous long hallway. Every jail has one, or at least should have one just to set the mood. If you go often enough, you will no longer notice the feeling of dread, apprehension, or the echo that each footstep makes on your seemingly endless journey to the elevator. Think of what it feels like to go down that hallway all alone on your first visit!

The elevator
Then, after what seemed like an eternity, we finally got to the elevator. We used the intercom to get permission to visit the fifth floor. We waited for what seemed to the lawyer to be like an attorney-ty. I mean, an eternity. We finally got to the fifth floor. We had to ask the guard to get Gary so we could notarize his signature.

Meeting the inmate
I noticed that Gary had been in an accident. His face was cut up and he was missing parts of his fingers. He had a hobby of making explosives and he had accidentally blown up his apartment and lost one eye, and several fingertips in the process. Terrifying!  But, he was a very gentle soul, kind at heart. He had only nice things to say about the guards. Not surprisingly, I had a bit of trouble getting the required thumbprint. I took a fingerprint of an index finger instead of a thumbprint and made a notation in my journal of which finger on what hand I used.  Then we notarized one or two documents.  We left after that.  They attorney had Gary’s identification.

I went to see the same inmate two months later with the same attorney. The inmate was looking much better. The cuts and scratches were mostly healed. Unfortunately, his fingers hadn’t grown back.

Meeting the jurors by coincidence.
The real irony took place eight months later when I went to notarize two Asian-American residents of West Hollywood. I thought I was just going for a regular notary job. They said they needed documents notarized regarding a court case. They said the case was about a guy who blew up his apartment. I said, “His name wouldn’t happen to be Gary?”.

Their jaws dropped.

.

You might also like:

A notary caught some frauds who stole credit info while at a hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20090

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April 2, 2011

Wyoming Acknowledgment Certificate

Here is an example of a Wyoming Notary Acknowledgment Form

State of Wyoming
County of ____________________

This instrument entitled _____________________________ was acknowledged before me on ______ (date) being acknowledged ____________________________ by ____________________ (Name of Person) .

(Seal)

________________________________________
Signature of Notarial Officer

________________________________________
Title (e.g. Notary Public) OR Rank (Rank if officer in active military)

My commission expires: __________________________________

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April 1, 2011

The Judge, The Jury & Waiting Room

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:28 am

I am always upset when I have to do jury duty. I like being on a jury, but all the waiting time, delays, and inefficiencies drive me up the wall. Most of all, I don’t like being held captive for an indefinite period of time. I have things to do and I lack patience.

I think that for a jury to give someone “justice” they should not only be impartial, but intellectually capable of understanding a complicated case with conflicting information. Additionally, they should have the discipline to go through all aspects of the case during deliberation point by point in a meticulous way. When I was on a case, the other people did not want to discuss the case during deliberation. They all made up their mind within one second just like that. I was a bit offended, but what could I do. I wanted to discuss the benefit of the doubt, but they wanted to vote guilty as they had no doubts.

For a jury to be a good one, people should be tested to see if they are really impartial and can make fair decisions. Most people cannot. Most people don’t have the patience to sit in court for days and sort complicated issues out. But, what if juries were trained and selected so that only people who were fair and disciplined could be on a jury. And what if those people were paid as well? This is not the same as being a professional juror, but a screened juror. Just my idea.

THE STORY
A judge had to be in court by 11am for his case. He went to the gas station. It was closed, and there was a sign on the front saying, “closed for jury duty.” A guy cleaning up in the back called the clerk for the judge. The clerk was in the court building but in the waiting room doing nothing. The judge was out of gas and needed help. He needed to be towed to the next closest gas station, but the tow truck only took cash. So, the judge went to the bank, but the bank had a line 80 people long because most of the tellers were on jury duty. The manager at the bank called the tellers on the judge’s behalf only to find that they were also in the waiting room and not on a case. Finally the judge called the tow truck company and told them he could not get cash in time. They said it did not matter anyway because they were short staffed as their main driver was doing jury duty, but once again not on a case as he was in the waiting room.

Having juries is an important part of American due process and justice. However, society suffers when services are not rendered because people are on a jury. Perhaps that is a price that society has to pay for justice. But, society also pays a price when the court system virtually hijacks people and makes them sit all day in waiting rooms — however, there is no benefit to society to force people to sit idle for hours on end. Maybe one day the court system will figure this out.

In any case, the judge had to walk to court in the rain. It took him two hours. But the time he got there it was 12:30pm. By the time he got there the jurors were all at lunch. So, he had to wait until 1:15pm to get started. Finally, 1:15 arrived, a bunch of jurors came up to see if they could be selected. However, the case involved a police officer who had been involved in some type of misconduct. The prospective jurors were interviewed briefly by an Attorney who dismissed all of them as they all had some type of bias against police officers. The moral of the story is that the jurors had their time virtually stolen from them not for jury duty but for court inefficiencies which was bad not only for them, but for their clients.

The tow truck juror gave the judge a lift to his car, and then came back with a tow truck, and then towed him to another gas station. The judge got gas, thanked everybody and then went home only to find a summons. The judge had been selected for jury duty. He would have to give up all of his cases indefinitely because he too had jury duty and would be on the hook indefinitely as they don’t accept hardship as an excuse anymore.

I hope you enjoyed my cute story. The moral of the story is to screen people over the phone or using an app rather than having people sit doing nothing all day long for no reason. I’m sure the millennials will agree with me on this issue.

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Notarizing a dominitrix

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:20 am

NOTARY: I”m here to notarize your application.

DOMINITRIX: Oh, you must be my 4:30.

NOTARY: Excuse you me?

DOMINITRIX: Sit over there!

NOTARY: Okay.

So, the notary sits in a bench surrounded on both side by whips hanging from a board and bizarre outfits on the other side hanging on hangers. He is perplexed as he has never been to a place like this before.

DOMINTRIX: You have been very very bad. Come with me.

NOTARY: No you see, I don’t backdate — I’m not bad.

DOMINITRIX: Okay, please bend over.

NOTARY: Excuse me? You see, I’m the Notary. I’m not your client of whatever it is that you do here.

DOMINITRIX: Oh…. misunderstanding. I thought you were Frank, my 4:30 appointment. He’s the one who has been bad. Can I give you a sample anyway?

NOTARY: A sample of what dare I ask?

DOMINITRIX: Of my work. Frank looks like he is either late or not coming at all. Why don’t we notarize my form first.

NOTARY: Your ID please….. And please sign my journal here. Please sign on the x.

DOMINITRIX: I have my own X over there. But, it is not for signing, unless you want it to be.

NOTARY: Good God, what do you use that for?

DOMINITRIX: That is for restraining people.

NOTARY: I see. Hold on… Okay, your form has been notarized. That will be $50 for travel and my notary services.

DOMINTRIX: So, would you like a sample now that we are done and I have a little free time.

NOTARY: Am I going to regret this?

DOMINITRIX: Yes, but not that much. First of all, we need a safe word.

NOTARY: Okay, how about Locus Sigilli.

DOMINITRIX: Location of the stamp? How do you know Latin? That is what I studied at school.

NOTARY: It is a Notary term or “terminus notarius.”

DOMINTRIX: Now you are talking fake Latin.

NOTARY: Better than pig Latin.

DOMINITRIX: Good point. Okay, I am going to restrain you to this device. It any of my work gets to be too much, just say the safe word.

NOTARY: Deal…

So, the dominitrix proceeded to whip the Notary with over a dozen different whips, floggers, crops, and paddles and then tried to force the notary to admit to forging a signature. The Notary refused to admit it no matter how horrible the punishment was. At the end of the sample session which only lasted five minutes the dominitrix asked why he would not admit to forging the signature. The Notary said because if someone had forged the signature it would have been a client. The dominitrix admitted that he was making sense.

DOMINITRIX: One more thing.

NOTARY: Let me guess. You also do weddings and bar-mitzvahs?

DOMINITRIX: No… don’t forget your seal and journal.

NOTARY: Oh yeah… In any case…. have a nice day and most of all — don’t be bad!

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March 31, 2011

Things that get notaries complaints

Things that get notaries complaints
 
Complaints are taken seriously at 123notary.com.  None of the notaries on board have voiced an opinion supporting our review system which allows browsers to post legitimate complaints about notaries.  Many notaries on board feel that they have a license to cause trouble, and that I have no right to ask questions or do anything about it since they pay us for advertising. Many notaries want the right to harm others without being held accountable.  My point of view is that if you cause misconduct while on our site, ITS MY BUSINESS, and you will be held accountable. 
 
I want to take a positive approach to this problem and let the notaries know what the common things that go wrong are, so that you can avoid getting a complaint in the first place.   I’m going to list types of complaints in order of how frequently they come up.
 
(1) Rudeness
Of all the complaints we have gotten, the largest category was rudeness which includes using bad words, hostility, hanging up on people, rude tones of voice, antagonism, harrassment, and threats.  If a signing company doesn’t treat you the way you like, DON’T WORK FOR THEM.  Don’t threaten to use their fedex account.  Don’t threaten to put a lien on the borrowers house if you don’t get paid.  Don’t withold a borrower’s documents until you get paid.  Have a policy for what you accept from others.  If others violate your terms, then stop dealing with them.  Period!
 
(2) No Show no call
It amazes me that notaries think they can completely blow off a signing without even calling. Then, the excuses notaries give remind me of being a substitute teacher in eighth grade. The excuses are clevely worded so that you will feel guilty for asking them any more questions.  Heartbreaking stories, grueling conditions, family crisises, and earthshaking emergencies.  Many of these excuses are true, but there is no way to verify, because not once have I ever been offered a scan of a document that proves someone’s argument one way or the other.  If you are offered a signing and you can’t make it, call at least two hours in advance.  If you are having a family emergency, in a snow storm, in WW3, in a flood, or are almost dead, you better call otherwise you will get a complaint, and I am not too interested in the excuses.
 
(3) Notary Mistakes
Many notaries make mistakes. The good notaries triple check their work and are willing to go back if they made even one small mistake.  But, not all notaries are good notaries. Many will be unwilling to go back to an appointment a second time to fix what they did wrong.   If you make a mistake, fix it whether you get paid to or not, otherwise you will lose clients and get complaints.
 
(4) Failure to return calls or emails after a signing
This is another type of problem that people have every conceivable type of excuse for.  Personally, when I’m on vacation, I answer emails.  I had a vacation where I slept in my car, slept in a tent, and couldn’t find an internet cafe for half a day. I kept looking until I found it and answered as many emails as I could.  Signing agents will go on vacation, or say they did, and use that as an excuse not to return phone calls or emails.  I won’t accept this as an excuse.  You have to be available up to 48 hours after a job is done in case there is a problem, and the problem could very well be the fault of the title company, but you still have to be available.  No excuses.

 (5) Slandering or sabotaging companies you work for
One notary said that the terms of the loan were not good.  Another tried to sell the borrower a modification right at the signing.  A third threatened to use the lender’s Fedex account # because she said she didn’t get paid enough.  Another one sent porno spam to us and others. 
 
(6) Other types of misconduct.
Some notaries just cause a lot of various types of trouble.  Others are unwilling to fix mistakes they made.  Once in a while a signer will outsource jobs to another signer and then not pay them.  Last minute cancellations are completely unacceptable unless there is a documented health emergency or other type of uncontrollable circumstances.  One notary has a habit of double booking appointments and then trying to reschedule them at the last minute.  Two notaries walked out of an appointment.  One had a family emergency and flaked.  He forgot to even tell the borrowers who were in the other room that he was going to the hospital.
 
The moral of the story is to avoid all of these problems by being very careful to go to all your appointments, be polite even if others are not polite to you, and do a good follow up after the job is done.  I’m personally tired of all the complaints, excuses, the dramas, and irresponsibility.  We want good notaries on 123notary, and for the most part, the notaries on board are excellent. We do not want a few bad apples to cause a bad reputation for the others.

Tweets:
(1) Many notaries feel that since they pay us for advertising, we’ve no right to post bad reviews on their profile.
(2) Many notaries are rude to signing companies who manipulate them. Don’t be rude! Just don’t work for them.
(3) Many notaries just don’t answer their phone or email after a signing which can cause a nightmare.

You might also like:

Florida Notaries with complaints
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1870

A list of things that rude notaries do
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2198

Bad notary reviews and the law on the internet
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18866

13 ways to get sued as a notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19614

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