NOTARY: I”m here to notarize your application.
DOMINITRIX: Oh, you must be my 4:30.
NOTARY: Excuse you me?
DOMINITRIX: Sit over there!
NOTARY: Okay.
So, the notary sits in a bench surrounded on both side by whips hanging from a board and bizarre outfits on the other side hanging on hangers. He is perplexed as he has never been to a place like this before.
DOMINTRIX: You have been very very bad. Come with me.
NOTARY: No you see, I don’t backdate — I’m not bad.
DOMINITRIX: Okay, please bend over.
NOTARY: Excuse me? You see, I’m the Notary. I’m not your client of whatever it is that you do here.
DOMINITRIX: Oh…. misunderstanding. I thought you were Frank, my 4:30 appointment. He’s the one who has been bad. Can I give you a sample anyway?
NOTARY: A sample of what dare I ask?
DOMINITRIX: Of my work. Frank looks like he is either late or not coming at all. Why don’t we notarize my form first.
NOTARY: Your ID please….. And please sign my journal here. Please sign on the x.
DOMINITRIX: I have my own X over there. But, it is not for signing, unless you want it to be.
NOTARY: Good God, what do you use that for?
DOMINITRIX: That is for restraining people.
NOTARY: I see. Hold on… Okay, your form has been notarized. That will be $50 for travel and my notary services.
DOMINTRIX: So, would you like a sample now that we are done and I have a little free time.
NOTARY: Am I going to regret this?
DOMINITRIX: Yes, but not that much. First of all, we need a safe word.
NOTARY: Okay, how about Locus Sigilli.
DOMINITRIX: Location of the stamp? How do you know Latin? That is what I studied at school.
NOTARY: It is a Notary term or “terminus notarius.”
DOMINTRIX: Now you are talking fake Latin.
NOTARY: Better than pig Latin.
DOMINITRIX: Good point. Okay, I am going to restrain you to this device. It any of my work gets to be too much, just say the safe word.
NOTARY: Deal…
So, the dominitrix proceeded to whip the Notary with over a dozen different whips, floggers, crops, and paddles and then tried to force the notary to admit to forging a signature. The Notary refused to admit it no matter how horrible the punishment was. At the end of the sample session which only lasted five minutes the dominitrix asked why he would not admit to forging the signature. The Notary said because if someone had forged the signature it would have been a client. The dominitrix admitted that he was making sense.
DOMINITRIX: One more thing.
NOTARY: Let me guess. You also do weddings and bar-mitzvahs?
DOMINITRIX: No… don’t forget your seal and journal.
NOTARY: Oh yeah… In any case…. have a nice day and most of all — don’t be bad!
