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July 17, 2014

Two and a half notaries! A Notarization Experience

This is a story about a happy notary in Malibu named Charlie. He lived with his brother Sam and his brother’s son Kevin.

Charlie: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Kevin: A Notary of course — ANYTHING BUT!
Charlie: Don’t knock until you try it
Kevin: All you guys do is stamp your dumb stamp on dumb documents.
Charlie: True, but it has its perks. That’s how I met Monica!
Kevin: Good point! Charlie notarizes Monica — Ooooh!

Sam: Hey, wait a second, I was dating Monica. I REFERRED her to you!
Charlie: Correct — you WERE dating Monica. And by the time we finished the Oath verbiage, she had forgotten all about you, so help you God!
Sam: Hey, that’s not fair, I’m never referring another of my friends to you ever again.
Charlie: Relax, it was all over within days. I gave her a 3-day right to rescind our relationship, and then I didn’t call her back.
Sam: That is JUST like you.

Kevin: Hey, what’s the difference between a Notarization, and a Notarization experience?
Charlie: Oh, about $1500

Maid: Keep your ink off the counters. By the way, I’m taking three days off this week. Tell Monica I said hi.
Sam: What? I thought you said it was over?
Charlie: I never said it wasn’t. For me it’s over. For her I don’t know. By the way, who is that person who keeps calling and then keeps hanging up?
Maid: I had the number traced. It seems to be coming from Topanga. Isn’t that where Monica was from?
Charlie: Oh brother.

(ring ring)
Maid: Hey Charlie, it’s for you. It’s a customer. Natalia. She sounds nice, you better take it.
Charlie: Hey Natalia. Are you up for another notarization with Vodka?
Natalia: Am I ever. Bring your notary stamp and your notary bond with you darling.
Charlie: I’ll be right over. Oh, but this time, let’s have the vodka AFTER the signing.
Natalia: Anything you like, just as long as — you — are there!
Charlie: I figure if we can remember to do the signing first, then after we have the vodka it won’t matter what we remember, because we won’t remember!
Natalia: 8 — sharp. don’t be late!

Tweets:
(1) 2 & a half notaries: What’s the difference between a notarization and a notarization experience?
(2) 2 & a half notaries: Find out what happens when Charlie notarizes Natalia and then have vodka afterwards!

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February 24, 2014

A social media site for Notaries — Affiant

For centuries, notaries have been complaining that they were bored, and had trouble meeting friends. They frequently said that they had no friends because there was nowhere to meet people. Then, during the 60’s, there were the be ins, and the love ins and the sign ins. During that decade, the notary public community didn’t complain as much because they were too high to know the difference. But, then in the 10’s (I’m the first person to call this decade the 10’s), notaries once again felt very lonely. If only there were a solution. If only there were a social media site for notaries. Of course the real reason notaries are lonely is because they complain all the time and nobody wants to hang around with them as a result. The second reason nobody hangs around with notaries, is that most notaries don’t answer their phone (at least when we call). But, one guy came up with the solution!

Affiant — a social media site for notaries

Meet new friends on Affiant. Affiant is so good, you will SWEAR BY IT. Members on this site are called Affiants. You can not be a member unless you love the site so much that you swear by it. After all, one who is sworn in to do an Oath, be definition is an Affiant!

Notaries around the country, and even in foreign countries flocked to this new and fascinating site. There were forums, events, lectures, guest speakers and more that all coordinated on Affiant.

How do you become a member of Affiant? The sign-up procedure is easy. You need to be sworn in with a notarized Oath. The Oath verbiage reads:

“I solemnly swear that I swear by Affiant. I think Affiant is so wonderful and great, that it is the best thing that ever happened to the notary — besides 123notary — and nobody paid me to mention the 123notary part either!”

Join Affiant today!

Tweets:
(1) For centuries, notaries have been complaining that they are bored & have trouble meeting friends.
(2) During the 60’s there were the be ins, love ins and sign ins (for hippy notaries)
(3) Notaries complain they’re bored & have trouble making friends
Now there’s “Affiant,” a social media site 4notaries!
(4) Meet new friends on Affiant – a social media site for notaries. Affiant is so good, you’ll SWEAR BY IT.

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March 1, 2012

Sample Affidavits & Sample Oaths

Notaries have to perform Oaths as part of their job.  But, many have no idea how to do this. If you are notarizing an Affidavit, you generally use a Jurat form, and you need an accompanying Oath. It is an infraction of notary law to omit the Oath, so don’t forget!
 
How do you word an Oath? 

Let’s say, that you have an Affidavit about some business arrangement in front of you.  You watch the signer sign the document in front of you as is required.  Then, it is Oath time… 
 
Oaths generally begin with:
“Please raise your right hand!”
“Do you solemnly swear…”  You could begin with, “Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”
 
But, what is the purpose of the Oath about the Affidavit?  You need to have the signer swear that they understand the document, agree to the document, and will abide by the terms of the document which is usually some sort of contract.
 
When I was doing this job, my standard Oath verbiage was:
“Please raise your right hand… Do you solemnly swear that the contents of this document are true and correct, that you agree to it, and will abide by the terms in this document?”
 
The answer that I accept is a clear, “I do”.  I never accept grunts, or uhs, or ahs. People don’t always take Oaths seriously, but I do, or should I say, “I do!”.
 
If you are notarizing five affidavits for an individual, do one separate Oath for each notarized document or signature.
 
Good luck!

You might also like:

Notary Public Oath of Office Information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2545

Notarized Affidavits Information
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1963

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