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October 18, 2024

Common Notary Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Practice

Filed under: Notary Public 101 — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

As a mobile notary, your success depends on accuracy, attention to detail, and adherence to legal standards. Even small mistakes can have serious consequences, including legal issues or damage to your reputation. Awareness of the common errors notaries make and how to avoid them will help protect your business and ensure you maintain high professionalism. Below are some of the most common mistakes notaries make and how to avoid them in practice.

Failure to Properly Identify Signers

One of the most important tasks for notaries is verifying the identity of the signer. Accepting expired or invalid IDs or relying on personal knowledge can result in fraudulent activity and legal disputes.

How to Avoid:

Always ensure the signer presents a valid, government-issued photo ID. If the ID is expired or inadequate, proceed once proper identification is provided. Even when you know the person, following identification rules to protect your practice is essential.

Poor Record-Keeping

Maintaining a thorough notary journal is essential, even if it’s not required in your state. Failing to document notarizations properly can expose you to legal challenges.

How to Avoid:

Record every notarization in a journal, noting the date, document type, signer’s information, and any additional details. This documentation protects you if a notarized document is ever questioned, ensuring you have an official record to back you up.

Overstepping Notary Authority

Notaries sometimes offer legal advice or explanations that are beyond their legal authority. This can lead to legal repercussions and harm your reputation.

How to Avoid:

Stay within your role of confirming the identity of signers and witnessing signatures. If a client has questions about the legal content of a document, refer them to an attorney. Never interpret documents or provide legal guidance.

Incorrect Notarial Certificates

Using the wrong notarial certificate or failing to complete it correctly can invalidate the notarization. This is one of the most common mistakes notaries make, and learning to avoid it in practice is essential for ensuring your notarizations are legally binding.

How to Avoid:

Before notarizing, ensure you’re using the correct certificate (acknowledgment, jurat, etc.) and fill out all the necessary fields, including the date, signer’s name, and notary seal. Taking time to double-check your work will prevent unnecessary mistakes.

Failure to Keep Up with State Laws

Notary laws vary by state, and they frequently change. Not staying current with these regulations can lead to compliance issues, potentially resulting in legal trouble or loss of commission.

How to Avoid:

Attend training sessions or subscribe to notary newsletters to stay informed about your state’s laws. Regularly update your knowledge to ensure compliance with current regulations.

Lack of Insurance and Bonds

Having the right insurance or bonds can protect you from financial risks. Even a minor error can lead to claims that could harm your business.

How to Avoid:

Invest in errors and omissions (E&O) insurance, even if it’s not mandatory in your state. This coverage protects you from financial claims in the event of a mistake. Additionally, ensure that you meet any bond requirements in your state.

Notarizing Incomplete Documents

Notarizing documents with blank spaces or incomplete information can lead to legal complications and potential fraud. This is a common mistake that can have serious consequences.

How to Avoid:

Only notarize a document that contains blank spaces or is complete. Review the document thoroughly before notarizing, and ask the signer to fill out any missing information. If you’re unsure, pause the notarization and seek clarification.

Safeguarding Your Practice

Avoiding these common mistakes notaries make and how to avoid them in practice is essential for protecting your business and maintaining a good reputation. Correctly identifying signers, keeping accurate records, staying updated on laws, and following best practices can ensure your mobile notary business runs smoothly without unnecessary risk. For more helpful suggestions, check out these marketing tips for mobile notary services.

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February 2, 2024

Common Notary Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

In the realm of legal transactions, the role of a notary is paramount. Whether you’re a homeowner finalizing the purchase of your dream home or a business owner executing critical contracts, the presence of a notary ensures the legality and integrity of these important moments. However, notaries are human and, like anyone, can make mistakes. Recognizing and avoiding common notary mistakes is key to ensuring that your transactions proceed without a hitch. Let’s dive into some of these pitfalls and how to avoid them.

1. Failing to Identify Signatories Properly

One of the most critical roles of a notary is to verify the parties’ identity in a transaction. Common mistakes include not checking identification thoroughly or accepting expired IDs. To avoid this, always insist on current, government-issued identification with a photo, signature, and physical description.

2. Neglecting to Record Entries in the Notary Journal

A notary’s journal is an official record of notarial acts and protects the notary and the signatories. Skipping entries or not detailing the transaction accurately is a mistake that can lead to legal complications. Ensure every act is recorded promptly and in detail.

3. Improper Use of Notary Seals

The misuse or improper storage of notary seals can lead to unauthorized use and fraud. Notaries must secure their seals and only use them when performing an official act. Remember, your seal is your responsibility.

4. Overstepping Notarial Boundaries

Notaries are not legal advisors. Offering legal advice or explaining the contents of a document oversteps the boundaries of the notary’s role and can lead to legal repercussions. If asked for advice, the best practice is to direct the individual to seek legal counsel.

5. Incomplete or Incorrect Notarization

Missing information, such as the date, location of notarization, or signatory details, can invalidate a document. Likewise, using the wrong notarial certificate or wording can lead to a document being challenged. Always double-check your work for completeness and accuracy.

6. Not Understanding State-Specific Laws

Notary laws vary from state to state, and not being up-to-date with your state’s requirements can lead to mistakes. Continuous education and reference to state notary manuals are essential to stay compliant.

7. Ignoring the Signer’s Willingness and Awareness

A notary must ensure that signers are willing and aware of what they are signing, free from coercion or impairment. Ignoring signs of reluctance or confusion can question the validity of the notarization.

How to Avoid These Mistakes

Avoiding these common notary mistakes starts with education and diligence. Stay informed about your state’s notary laws, attend refresher courses, and always adhere to the best practices of your profession. Furthermore, utilize resources like the FedEx drop-off service for secure document handling, ensuring that your notarial acts are completed with legal integrity and efficiency.

Ensuring Legal Integrity in Every Transaction

Elevating your notarial expertise involves being vigilant about common notary mistakes and taking proactive steps to avoid them. By thoroughly verifying identities, meticulously maintaining your notary journal, correctly using your notary seal, staying within your legal boundaries, ensuring the completeness and accuracy of every notarization, understanding state-specific laws, and respecting the signer’s willingness and awareness, you safeguard the legal integrity of every transaction. Homeowners and business owners alike depend on this diligence for the seamless execution of their most critical documents. Remember, knowledge and attentiveness are your best tools for avoiding these pitfalls and upholding the trust placed in you as a notary.

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February 4, 2020

Cleaning up common mistakes in your profile’s notes section

Filed under: Your Notes Section — admin @ 10:56 pm

When I look over notes sections of our higher level members, I like to make suggestions that can help them appear in a more positive light to the users. There are a bunch of common mistakes people make. I want to go over those mistakes.

1. Real Estate Experience
It is common for those with Real Estate experience to claim that they have real estate experience the therefor they understand the documents. In real life, people who I quiz with Real Estate experience do not know their documents that well. If you want to prove knowledge, then please pass our certification test which is really hard. Another mistake people make is to put lots of information about their Real Estate career in the top of their notes section. This is a Notary directory, so please put notary achievements at the top of your listing and mention your Real Estate experience in the middle or bottom of your notes section as an additional point.

2. Mortgage Experience
Many of our members have some type of Mortgage experience. If you are a current Mortgage Broker, you might be seen as competition and people might not want to hire you. However, the mistake many Notaries name is to claim that they have “x” amount of years in the “Mortgage Industry.” They often do not disclose what job titles they had in the industry or what their tasks were. People who use our site reward those who give specifics and give you a clear idea of who you are, what you have done, and what you know how to do. Additionally, using the “x” number of years is a bad idea, because you might have a listing with us for ten or twenty years and you have to keep updating your # of years every year. It is easier to say, “Notary since 1986.” or “Mortgage Appraiser since 2009.” You could say, “I was a Mortgage Broker from 2004 to 2015.” which clears up when you did it, how long, and that you no longer do it which might com as a relief.

3. Business Experience
Many Notaries have run a business before. They put, “Former business owner.” In their notes. This is horrible. It doesn’t say what type of business you ran, what position you had, what your responsibilities were, or what time period you did it. Be specific and understand that the reader doesn’t know if you had a business collecting hub caps or if you ran a fortune 500 company. You need to specify!

4. Types of Loans
It is common for Notaries to say, “I know how to sign every type of loan.” This is bad, because there are so many types of financial packages that few notaries have signed them all. Just make a detailed list of the loans you have signed, i.e.: I have signed purchases, sales, refinances, FHA, VA, conventional, unconventional, conforming, modification, reverse mortgages, and debt consolidations. I suggest having another list of common documents that you have signed. If the user has one of the types of loans on your list, he is more likely to hire you than some other character who makes vague claims or no claims about their loan experience.

5. Number of Loans
Some Notaries who are smart keep their number of loans signed statistics up to date regularly. Others say that they have signed two hundred plus loans. Two hundred plus is not a number by the way. Two hundred is a number. Since the information is not date stamped, (hmm, perhaps I should add that as a feature to my directory) there is no way to know how accurate the information still is. Number of loans signed is a good indication of how much experience you have, and is much more helpful than how many years of experience you have. You might have one month of experience and have signed 200 loans, or you might have twenty years of experience only having signed one loan per year which would be 20 loans. Think about it.

6. Omitting to read through our thorough guides
123notary has published many point by point tutorials on how to write a good notes section, what buzzwords to add, which to omit, what to say and how to say it. By not spending at least two hours reading our comprehensive guides, taking notes, and writing a well organized and thorough notes section – you are losing business. We will even clean up your notes for free upon request, but we get very few requests.

7. Unique catchy phrases
It is hard to teach someone how to write a catchy phrase. I created some articles with the best phrases I could find. It takes time and thought to create a one liner. However, readers are so bored reading through notes sections that if you can write something spicy, they might like it, and they might call you first. So, put some time into thinking up something catchy to say, and see how people react. You might need to modify what you put at a later date.

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December 4, 2016

Power of Attorney – Notary Processing Mistakes

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,Popular on Facebook (comments),Popular on Linked In — Tags: , — admin @ 9:20 pm

Playing Lawyer

You’re going there to notarize, that’s what you do. The caller asked you to bring some blank copies of a “standard” Power of Attorney. I think not. There many different formats to the Power of Attorney document. Selecting, as when you provide a document; could probably be interpreted as the Illegal Practice of Law. You don’t know their requirements, but you happen to have some documents titled Power of Attorney – a recipe for disaster. We notarize upon proof and oath; it’s their responsibility to know what they are signing. That applies to Principal, Agent, Monitor and Successor Agent.

Fuzzy Job Specifications

I need my signature notarized on a Power of Attorney form. Do you accept that sole statement? Does the caller have the form(s)? Is the caller the Principal granting the powers? Will there be Agent(s) and Successor Agent(s). You probably inquired about the ID that will be presented by the caller – but do you know anything about the ID status of others to be notarized? Will all parties be present when you arrive, or will there be a lengthy wait for a tardy Agent? The caller mentioned “a” Power of Attorney form, that’s true enough – but are ten more duplicates awaiting you? Did you schedule this as a “quick one” with your next assignment very soon?

Accepting Risk

You want to avoid accepting risk. One tool is having the assignment prepaid. A more important tool is communication with your client. Stress that the signature(s) of the Principal, Agent and Successor Agent must have proper supporting ID, and that the name on the ID must match the name to be notarized on the Power of Attorney. I make it very clear: “If any person to be notarized has an ID issue that precludes notarization; you will get my sincere regrets, but not a refund”. Hospital jobs have access concerns when the Principal is the patient.

Not Sharing your Knowledge

Many are new to using a Power of Attorney. They often assume a photocopy will be accepted and that they need only one original. That is often not the case. Offer duplicates for a modest fee. Blank areas might require a N/A. Use your embosser – it’s required to submit the document to Federal Courts, and might be required if the document leaves the state where notarized. Clients can forget that most Power of Attorney documents require the authority of Agent, and Successor Agent to be specified. This is usually done by the Principal initialing various “right granting” sections giving authority to one or more Agents, and, or, Successor Agents – easy to overlook.

It’s also easy to overlook the “Separately” initial area. When there is more than one Agent or Successor Agent; the common document default is that they must act in unison. Often, the independent ability of these agents is desired; this requires initials in the appropriate area.

Disorderly Processing

In our signings we complete one document then move on to the next one. Processing a stack of identical Power of Attorney documents is best handled differently. I prefer the “same thing over and over” approach. An entry on the first copy is propagated to the remaining copies. Then the next entry is made in a similar manner. This is easier for all involved as they, after the first two or three; are “familiar” with “what goes where”. After ID checking, and notary oath administration(s) – the notarizations can proceed in a similar manner. Mentally tie to giving the oath asking the affiants if they returned their ID to a safe place. This avoids being called to return their ID when they misplaced it – this happened to me a few times.

The Introduction to the Power of Attorney, New York Statutory Short Form

CAUTION TO THE PRINCIPAL: Your Power of Attorney is an important document. As the “principal,” you give the person whom you choose (your “agent”) authority to spend your money and sell or dispose of your property during your lifetime without telling you. You do not lose your authority to act even though you have given your agent similar authority.

When your agent exercises this authority, he or she must act according to any instructions you have provided or, where there are no specific instructions, in your best interest. “Important Information for the Agent” at the end of this document describes your agent’s responsibilities.

Your agent can act on your behalf only after signing the Power of Attorney before a notary public.

You can request information from your agent at any time. If you are revoking a prior Power of Attorney, you should provide written notice of the revocation to your prior agent(s) and to any third parties who may have acted upon it, including the financial institutions where your accounts are located.

You can revoke or terminate your Power of Attorney at any time for any reason as long as you are of sound mind. If you are no longer of sound mind, a court can remove an agent for acting improperly.

Your agent cannot make health care decisions for you. You may execute a “Health Care Proxy” to do this.

If there is anything about this document that you do not understand, you should ask a lawyer of your own choosing to explain it to you

Have you asked the Principal, Agent, Monitor, and Successor Agent – if they have read and understood the disclosures, usually on the first page of the Power of Attorney document?

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You might also like:

How do you get a Power of Attorney Document?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20785

Index of posts about Power of Attorney
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20255

Index of information about documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

Penalties for Notary misconduct, fraud and failure of duty
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

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November 15, 2013

Common Mistakes with: 1003, Crossing out, RTC, TIL & APR

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Notary Mistakes — Tags: , , , — admin @ 12:23 am

The problem with the signing agent industry is that education is simply not taken seriously. Newer signing agents will take a certification course somewhere, pass by the skin of their teeth, and then say, “I’m done learning”. The effect is that their brain turns off, and there is no more curiousity to learn or thirst for knowledge.

123notary offers a lot of information in the blog which is free, not to mention a plethora of signing courses and new testing systems that are currently being experimented with. Please take advantage of the information that is out there for best results.

Here are some common mistakes that are really dumb that newer signing agents do.

(1) Call the lender about the 1003
The 1003 is always wrong. It is not a final document by the way. The natural order of documents in terms of the finality of information starts with the 1003 which is an application. This application is typed up by minimum wage workers who systematically make mistakes, and the lenders as a group seem to think it is okay to make mistakes on loan documents for loans of half a million dollars. First of all it is NOT okay, secondly it upsets borrowers, and thirdly, it leaves signing agents in a perceived quandary. They think they need to call the lender if information in this document is wrong. This is the one document you can do cross outs on. It doesn’t matter. The next version of information about names and numbers would be the Good Faith Estimate. It is once again a preliminary document and just an estimate. The final document with numbers is the HUD-1 Settlement Statement. If there is an error here — then it is time to call the lender and perhaps even redraw the documents or just cancel the entire loan process

(2) Just cross out and initial
Many lenders have low standards. We live in a world where standards are pathetically low. Just because a handful, or more than a handful of the lenders you work with have low standards doesn’t mean that you should. There exists a concept called “Best Practices”, and that concept involves not making a mess unless you really are compelled to. If names are wrong on documents AND THE LENDER IS NOT AVAILABLE (which is the norm), you can initial under the last few letters of the last name. This is clean, and the processor can cross-out after the fact or do whatever they like. YOU are not compelled to cross out. Just leave a voice mail for the lender to let them know what you did and why. If there are errors on the notary certificates, once again crossing things out is unprofessional and messy. Keep in mind these are LEGAL documents and making a mess on a legally binding document seems very questionable at best. It is cleaner to get a loose acknowledgment, staple it and start fresh without the cross outs. So, when do you need to cross things out? On the right to cancel if you need to change dates, and there is no borrower copy with the dates left blank — THEN, and only then in my experience are you compelled to cross out the old date and write in a new date and have the borrowers initial

(3) RTC
Guess what. The day of the signing is NOT included in the (3) days to rescind. Many newer notaries don’t know this. The reach for their rescission calendar because they can not think on their own. Learn to calculate, learn to count, and learn to think. Learn when the Federal holidays happen and learn to calculate rescission dates when a signing happens right before a Federal holiday.

(4) TIL
Many signers think that there is detailed information about the prepayment penalty on the TIL. Wrong. The TIL states that you will, won’t, or might have a prepayment penalty. That is not what I consider detailed, that is merely a tidbit of information.

(5) APR
Few if any newer signing agents, or even experienced signing agents can discuss the APR and sound professional doing so. Learn and memorize a professional sounding definition of this figure so that when asked, you will be able to answer FLUENTLY, even in your sleep.

You might also like:

How do you explain the APR to a non-borrowing spouse?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4455

Minimum competency guide discusses RTC, APR, Journals & more
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4337

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April 21, 2013

Mistakes notaries make w/ Title Companies

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Notary Mistakes,Popular on Facebook (very),SEO — admin @ 2:35 am

Notaries all want Title Company business, but not all of them get it. Why?

Experience is half of the problem, and skills are the other half. But, what about the THIRD half?

Communication skills
Do you use bad grammar? Do you make spelling mistakes in your notes section?

I also make spelling mistakes. Fewer than I used to make ten years ago since I write more.

But, Title Companies will reject a notary based on these factors.

What if there is no useful information in your notes section?
Do you ramble when people talk to you, and go on and on?
Do you go off on a tangent during a conversation and not stick to the topic at hand?
Do you give dumb sounding answers to simple loan signing questions?
Is there background noise when a title company calls you?
Do you answer the phone by saying “Hullo?”
Do your children answer the phone?

Does your answering machine have unprofessional sounding music?
Does your answering machine state your name?
Is your message system full?
Do you have reviews on your profile?
Are you certified by 123notary?
Do you have a tone of voice that is uninviting?
Do you ask people to repeat what they said?

Notary: Hello?
Tammy: Hi, this is Tammy from Tammy’s Title
Notary: Who is this?
Tammy: TAMMY from Tammy’s Title
Notary: Tammy’s Title?
Tammy: Yes, Tammy’s Title! May I speak to Linda please
Notary: This is her.

Jeremy’s comment: Are you deaf? Tammy stated her personal and company name very clearly when she called you, what’s the problem. Are you not paying attention? Or, do you just not know how to respond, so you ask a stupid question? Tammy thinks you are very stupid by now. Did you know that roughly 15% of notaries ask me to repeat information that I stated very clearly? I am not sure what their problem is. If I ask a quiz question, then 80% of the notaries make me repeat the entire thing twice — but, that is more tricky, so it is allowed in that context.

BTW, it is bad etiquette to say hello when answering the phone. State who you are otherwise the other person will have to guess or ask you. Also, don’t say, “This is her” as that is bad grammar. “This is she” is correct even though it sounds strange.

To sum up the point of this article.
If you want Title companies to think well of you and hire you — don’t act stupid. Have your act in order, and be able to answer questions quickly. Be professional — otherwise they will hire someone else who is professional. Title companies pay up to $150 a pop and notaries line up for these types of jobs. Title companies have choices — you don’t!

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You might also like:

The way you treat Jeremy might be the same way you treat title
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19590

When a title company lies to you
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19349

If you contact title companies directly, what do they want?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16110

Notary Marketing 102
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19774

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December 24, 2012

I make mistakes too!

Filed under: Carmen Towles,Notary Mistakes — Tags: , — admin @ 6:57 am

The most dreaded thing happened to me after all these years. I get a call from one of my regulars of many years now asking me when I can come through. She has a fee notarizations for herself and her husband. The own an architect firm. We set up a time for the following day. I arrive about 10 minutes early which is what I always try to do. She pleasantly sits me down in our usual conference room, excuses herself and leaves briefly to get the documents. She comes back into the room and hands me one document in particular from a stack that immediately looks familiar. It was a document that I had previously notarized the week before. She goes on (while handing it to me stating that the county clerk had rejected it. I am thinking WHAT!?!?! Are you serious??…cant be so. But unfortunately is was so. It seems in my haste I had forgotten to put the ‘notary public’ after my name. (For those of you in other states this is now a mandatory requirement for all California notaries.) And of course the county clerk had rejected it. They had attached a nice little note with instructions for me to fix it. Which of course I did.

I was thinking ( and I told my client ) ‘I am so sorry, I cant imagine what was going on in my head’ to forget to do this, I assure her that after all that I certainly know better”. ‘But I am human’ as she told me. “We all make mistakes”. But this mistake in my eyes was unacceptable and now I have inconvenienced the client. They have to go back to the county clerk. So to make amends I adjusted my fee. I would have liked (at no charge) to offer to take it to the courthouse for them…but didn’t think of it until later in the day.

So remember to check your work. ALWAYS! Try not to let outside influences distract you. This can easily happen but It can cost you jobs and regular clients. I am sure they will call me back. But I really felt bad about my error. I know better but for me this was a wake up call. I was careless and did not check my work. And ultimately, I could have paid for it by losing a valuable client Or even worse yet it could have been a time sensitive document and because of my error they could have lost their valuable client and/or they could have missed a deadline and I could have gotten sued…god forbid. So don’t forget to check BEFORE you leave them. Doesn’t matter if it is one document or 20. make sure you have done your job. We can’t afford mistakes!

Until the next time, be safe!

You might also like:

Tips for notaries to avoid making mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3360

How to fix notary mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2231

Common mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4553

Power of Attorney notary processing mistakes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18958

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January 17, 2012

How to fix notary mistakes

Filed under: Notary Mistakes,Technical & Legal — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 10:16 pm

How to fix notary mistakes 

Notaries often make mistakes.  Many make notary mistakes due to lack of education and lack of skill.  Those notaries will not likely catch their mistakes, and will not understand if others point out their mistakes. However, a knowledgeable notary public, will be likely to catch their own mistakes.
 
The point of having notaries in society is to have some sort of record keeping for the signing of documents, and the identifying of signers.  The notary hopefully keeps a journal (required in most states), and also fills out certificate sections, or attaches certificate forms to documents.
 
So, most notary mistakes that could be made would likely be in the journal, or certificate area.  If there is a mistake on the journal, it might be that the notary didn’t properly indicate what type of document was being notarized, or left out some critical documentation information.  Or, the signer might have “forgotten” to sign the journal which is much more serious.  If a signer forgets to sign, the notary can try to call the signer and have them come and sign the journal, or the notary can go to them.  An experienced notary wouldn’t let such a thing happen, but if there is a lot of confusion and people are in a hurry, then something could go wrong.
 
If there is a mistake in the notary certificate, then a new certificate can be made without seeing the signer, providing that the old certificate is destroyed.  You can not legally have two certificates for the same document for the same signer — unless there are two journal entries for the same signature by the same person on the same document which is very fishy indeed!
 
What about forgetting to administer an Oath to credible witnesses, or forgetting to administer an Oath for a Jurat?  In such a case, first of all, the notary could lose their commission or be fined by their state government for such a blatant infraction of notary law!  But, the notary could try to find the affiant and try to make them take their Oath after the fact.  Better late than never. I don’t think that makes it “okay”, but is better than nothing.

You might also like:

Fixing Botched Signings
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1246

Rude notaries and what they do
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2198

Penalties for Notary misconduct and fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

13 ways to get sued as a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19614

Common complaints we get about Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19399

Cross-outs as taught in the 30 point courses
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14406

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January 8, 2011

Family Guy: Peter joins ISIS by mistake & needs a notarized conversion

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 7:02 am

PETER: Hey Lois, hasn’t it been kind of a long time since we took a vacation?

LOIS: Yeah Peter, we haven’t gone anywhere since we went to Vegas. Remember when we lost all that money to those one armed bandits

(A one armed mugger snatches Lois’ purse and Brian chases him bites him and gets Lois’ purse back)

PETER: Yeah, that was fun. We won $2000 dollars and blew it all on school clothes for Meg. What a waste.

(Meg shows up wearing a hat, takes it off and puts on another expensive hat, then changes her coat, then puts on a set of boots)

MEG: Let’s go somewhere foreign!

BRIAN: Yeah, I heard that when you go to a foreign country, everything looks different and smells different, which is important to me because I’m a dog.

PETER: That’s it. We’re going to Jonah’s tomb. I’ll have Stewie book the tickets now.

STEWIE: So, who’s buried in Johah’s tomb?

CHRIS: Oooh, ooh, ooh, I know. Ulysses Grant?

STEWIE: No, dummie, Jonah’s buried in Jonah’s tomb. And by the way, where is Jonah’s tomb.

PETER: According to this cheap travel agent I hired, it’s in Iraq. I think we have a military base there. So, we’ll be safe.

LOIS: Just so long as I can get wifi. But, I heard there’s a lot of violence there. Will we be safe from danger?

PETER: Oh come on Lois, don’t you want a break from our typical boring life?

(They all get on a plane, fly, and get off in Iraq. Everyone on the plane is wearing an Islamic outfit.)

LOUDSPEAKER: Welcome to Iraq.

PETER: Hey Lois, we’re in Iraq

LOIS: I heard there’s a conflict between the Shia’s and the Sunni’s. But, how do you know which is which?

PETERS: It’s obvious. The ones with the long hair are the Shia’s and the ones wearing shorts are the Sunni’s.

STEWIE: No dummy, you can tell them apart from looking at their ID. I know that because I’m a notary!

LOIS: Peter, I don’t think anyone’s wearing shorts here. And everyone’s staring at me.

STEWIE: According to my GPS, the tomb is 70 miles Northwest. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to rent a car.

CAR RENTAL: Welcome to Rent a Humvee. Would you like bulletproof or non?

PETER: Don’t those use a lot of gas?

CAR RENTAL: Well, we got a ton of these when the US military left, and gas is only 50 cents a gallon. So, enjoy.

PETER: So, which is cheaper?

CAR RENTAL: Unarmored!

PETER: I’ll take an armored one. That way I can tell all of my buddies at the Drunken Clam that I drove an armored vehicle!

(The entire family drives up barren roads on their way to Jonah’s tomb. They quickly learn that the tomb was destroyed by ISIS recently.)

LOIS: I can’t believe they destroyed an ancient biblical tomb. What a horrible thing to do.

STEWIE: Those damn tomb-wreckers! Can’t they think of anything better to do?

LOIS: Oh look Peter, look at those hooded people waving their machetes.

PETER: Are they butchers? I could use a nice slab of meat right about now.

ISIS GUYS: Stop where you are!

LOIS: What do you want?

PETER: I’ll have some roast beef, um, make it lean, and a New York steak… or if that’s too much trouble, a Baghdad steak will do, and could you throw in a pickle!

ISIS GUYS: And what else?

PETER: Do you have any sides?

ISIS GUYS: We don’t take sides! Convert to Islam — or DIE!

STEWIE: Could you say that again, but with more emotion?

CHRIS: Are you guys hot under those hoods? How can you not sweat wearing those hoodies?

ISIS GUYS: We don’t mind being hot. We’re preparing for eternal damnation. I understand it’s very hot there. Okay… Convert to Islam — or DIE!

STEWIE: That was much better. But, could you put more emphasis on the “die” part.

ISIS GUYS: Oh, sorry. Convert to Islam — or DIE!

LOIS: They’re going to kill us.

STEWIE: No no, not if we convert.

ISIS GUY: By the way, the conversion needs to be notarized.

STEWIE: But, I can’t legally notarize my own conversion. That would be a violation of notary law.

ISIS GUY: It doesn’t matter just as long as it’s not a violation of our radical interpretation of Sharia law.

CHRIS: Does this mean that mom and Meg will have to wear a veil?

ISIS GUY: Yes!

CHRIS: Ha ha, Meg has to weir a veil.

PETER: Okay, let’s get this converting over with so I can have a sudsy beer back in the hotel room.

ISIS GUY: Beer is not allowed!

CHRIS: Unless you cut the head off.

ISIS GUY: Now repeat after me: Allahhu ackbar. La illah la ha illah la…. and put these outfits on. His and hers.

LOIS: Oh look at these beautiful silks. One size fits all. But, do you have this in pink? And do you have anything that’s more flattering to my figure?

PETER: La illah la — ha ha ha ha ha ha (fart) ooops (fart) ooops (fart) oops.

ISIS GUYS: No, you’re saying it wrong. It’s not ha ha ha ha ha ha.

PETER: No, that’s how I say it.

ISIS GUY: By the way, you are now required to officially get a notarized statement that you are changing your name from Peter to Boulos.

PETER: Fine, I was sick of my name anyway. Just call me Boulos the great!

LOIS: Peter, ask them what the machetes are for.

PETER: Why the way, we were just wondering what all of those machetes were for

ISIS GUY: Oh, these? These are for cutting off the heads of infadels!

STEWIE: Would my former nursery school teacher Rebecca be included in the definition of infidel?

ISIS GUY: Yes!

PETER: Cool, let’s get this show on the road. I want to be the first one to cut a head off. I’ll call it.

(Peter flips a coin. It lands on his hands — heads up)

ISIS GUY: It’s a deal. But, you must first become part of our militia. Try on this ski mask.

PETER: Oh, are we going skiing?

(Peter has a thought of skiing down a hill wearing a black ski mask and holding a machete, then slams into a tree)

PETER: Ahhh, I’ll pass!

ISIS GUY: Okay let’s get started. We are going to invade this village. The women stay at the camp with us! Get in the Humvee!

PETER: (cuts a guy’s head off) This is cool. (cuts another guy’s head off, blood gushing everywhere) Ah, this is pretty cool. (cuts another head off) This is kind of cool. (cuts a fourth head off) Ahh, this is getting a little boring here.

ISIS GUY: We do not do this for our enjoyment. We do it for Allah.

PETER: A-la what?

ISIS GUY: Allah

PETER: A-la-carte?

ISIS GUY: Do you dare make fun of the very great Allah?

PETER: Listen, this was really fun, and it was a long trip, and we’re going to head back to the hotel, and check out the mini-bar.

ISIS GUY: You are not going anywhere!

CHRIS: I have to go to the bathroom.

ISIS GUY: There is a rock over there. That’s the closest we have. Bring your own toilet paper.

PETER: First, can I get a notarized statement documenting that I successfully decapitated four infidels? I want to post that on my wall back home.

ISIS GUY: You are not going home. We have a jihad to fight!

PETER: I think I better call Stewie. (ring ring) Hey Stewie, they’re not letting us out of here.

STEWIE: No problem, I have a solution for this. Check out my newest invention, it is a multi-head Uzi that can shoot in three directions simultaneiously. (bang-bang-bang-bang-bang)

(Stewie kills all two hundred of the ISIS guys within two minutes, they go to the camp to get the ladies, and then go back to the hotel)

LOIS: Peter, next year, let’s go somewhere more quiet, like Afghanistan

PETER: I was thinking more along the lines of New Orleans, but I heard they have some good new channels on Kabul TV.

LOIS: Don’t you mean cable TV?

PETER: That’s what they call it over there I guess…

.

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October 25, 2024

Notary Verbiage and Wording Tips

Filed under: Notary Public 101 — Tags: — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 am

Have you ever wondered if the wording in your notarized documents could lead to costly mistakes? Homeowners and business owners must have clear and precise notary vocabulary to ensure their legal documents are correctly prepared and executed. Whether you’re managing real estate transactions, business agreements, or loan documents, using the correct language helps prevent errors, delays, and legal disputes. This guide will explore critical notary verbiage and wording tips for clear documentation to streamline your process and protect your interests.

The Importance of Clear Notary Verbiage

Clear and correct notary verbiage ensures your documents are legally binding and properly executed. Correct wording can significantly affect real estate transactions, business contracts, or loan agreements. Follow these tips to keep your documents in order and avoid complications.

Tip 1: Keep the Language Simple and Clear

One of the most essential notary verbiage and wording tips for clear documentation is to use simple, understandable language. Avoid unnecessary legal jargon that could confuse the signer and lead to errors. This helps ensure that all parties understand the document and the responsibilities involved.

  1. Avoid terms like “heretofore” or “hereinafter.”
  2. Use simple alternatives like “from this point” or “from now on.”

Tip 2: Be Specific in Names, Dates, and Phrases

Precision is crucial in notarized documents. Vague or unclear wording can cause confusion or disputes. All parties must understand the terms and conditions outlined in the document. Be as specific as possible when referring to individuals or dates.

  1. Use full legal names instead of nicknames or initials
  2. Use specific dates like “on July 15, 2024, at 10:00 AM” rather than “around this date.”
  3. Avoid phrases like “as soon as possible” or “at your earliest convenience.”

Tip 3: Review Notary Certificate Wording

The wording on notary certificates must comply with state regulations, which can vary based on the type of notarization. Double-check that your certificate includes the correct legal language for your state. If uncertain, consult your state’s notary handbook or seek legal advice to ensure compliance.

  1. For acknowledgments, ensure phrases like “personally appeared before me” are included
  2. For jurats, confirm the certificate states that the signer swore or affirmed the document in front of the notary

Tip 4: Include All Necessary Information

It’s important to ensure all essential information is on your notarized document. Failing to include the required details can result in rejection or delay. Ensure that each document requiring notarization has the correct information to avoid confusion or legal issues.

  1. Full names of all signers
  2. Notary commission number
  3. Date of notarization
  4. A complete signature block for each signer with consistent wording, such as “signed and sworn to before me on [date].”

Tip 5: Maintain Professional Language

Always use formal, professional language in your notary verbiage. Casual wording can undermine the seriousness of legal documents. Keep the tone appropriate for the legal setting. This will help maintain the integrity and importance of the document.

  1. Instead of saying “showed up,” use “personally appeared.”
  2. Avoid conversational phrases; use formal terms like “executed before me” or “acknowledged before me.”

Tip 6: Know Your State’s Notary Regulations

Since notary laws differ between states, staying updated on local regulations is essential. Some states require specific wording for particular types of documents, especially in real estate transactions. Homeowners and business owners can benefit from consulting legal experts or a trusted notary to ensure their documents meet legal standards.

  1. Review your state’s notary laws regularly to ensure compliance
  2. Use the latest required verbiage to avoid the document being invalidated

Accurate Verbiage Matters

Precise and clear notary verbiage ensures your documents are correctly executed and legally binding. By following these notary verbiage and wording tips for clear documentation, you can avoid common mistakes and ensure your documents meet all legal requirements. Staying specific, using simple language, and adhering to state regulations will help you confidently create notarized documents.

For additional tips, check out our blog on mobile notary safety tips for beginners to further enhance your notary knowledge.

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