KAMALA: I suggest a $300 minimum fee for loan signings.
RAND PAUL: If you do that, then most Notaries will be put out of work. Hiring parties will still have the right to NOT hire people…. at all.
JEREMY: Stop making sense! If everybody made sense then nothing would get done.
KAMALA: I remember that 20 years ago, there was a little girl who dreamed about being a mobile notary, and driving a Mercedes C class on her way to signings. Every night after she came home from school she would study Notary journals. She had to look up every second word because it was written in legalese. That little girl would do anything to become a successful mobile notary.
JEREMY: Let me guess — that little girl was you.
KAMALA: Hey, I’m supposed to say that.
RAND PAUL: I think the “20 years ago” part is a bit of a stretch.
KAMALA: Stay out of it!!! — I’ve still “got it” and you know it. I saw you checking me out.
JEREMY: A point well made. But, during your debate with Biden you said that you thought mobile notaries only deserved $150 minimum fee. Why a sudden change in heart?
KAMALA: It was a debate…. (pause)… It was a deBATE… (pause). It was a debate!!!! It was a debate…………………………………… ha ha ha ha ha!!! It was a debate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAND PAUL: Isn’t she supposed to say that exactly 12 times?
JEREMY: Does Joe check you out too?
KAMALA: (frustrated look). None of your business!!!!!!
JEREMY: You can buy a lot of masala dosa with $300 per signing. But, the price of sambar is going up.
KAMALA: Not if you make it yourself. And I know where to buy the best ingredients!
TUCKER CARLSON: It looks like you are creating an elite class of Notaries who get all the work while everyone else starves. Is that the goal of socialism? It’s sure not my goal.
KAMALA: No!!! I just want people to get paid what they deserve.
JEREMY: They already do get paid what they deserve. It is called a free market.
RAND PAUL: At $300 per hit it’s anything but free. And with the test scores people get on Jeremy’s test, I’m not sure if they deserve more than $30 per signing… on a good day.
JEREMY: Good point. I was supposed to say that.
TUCKER CARLSON: Well you can say that next time.
LAURA INGRAHAM: And that’s the angle!
BYSTANDER: AT $300 per hit, I would just notarize myself.
JEREMY: That’s illegal
TUCKER CARLSON: That’s correct, and that wraps it up. Now, on to peace in the Middle East, or the lack of it. We have an interview with Bibi Netanyahu…>