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January 11, 2011

Names for Notaries to name their children

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 11:31 am

We think of Notary work as something that we just do. But, what if we encourage our children to become Notaries? It might help if they had a Notarial sounding name to do well in the industry. Here are my ideas.

Affi-David — you can name his brother Affi-Goliath
Rescinda / Rescindo
Affirma — sounds like a health product or hair care.
Embosston — sounds more like a city.
S. Crow
S.S. — comes next to the venue.
Journal — keep it simple
Notario — just don’t use this name in Texas without a disclaimer.
Ginnie Mae
Paula Ursula Davenport — initials would be PUD.
Ferdinand Harry Armstrong — initials would be FHA.
A. Paul Steele

Feel free to leave your comments if you have any other ideas.


You might also like:

Names for notary businesses with commentary

Deceptive identities – companies that change their names


January 6, 2011

Your jumbled or too short notes section is costing you 50% of your business

Notaries just don’t get it. They think that 123notary is a magic service. All they have to do is pay us some money and they will be rolling in jobs. They also have to follow our advice if they expect to get anywhere. Get reviews on your listing, pass our test, and for God’s sake, fill in your notes section. Below are some common problems with people’s notes sections.

1. Omitted
Many Notaries just don’t get around to filling in their notes or claim that they have nothing to say. Say something for God’s sake. Talk about your radius, professional background, types of documents or loans you are familiar with, or your personal style doing business.

2. Jumbled
Most Notaries write a long paragraph that includes their name, equipment, a few adjectives about how great they are, hours, counties and anything else they can think of. This is a disorganized mess and it means that your brain is a disorganized mess. Clean up your act and divide your notes section into logical paragraphs and keep it easy to read and formatted in an attractive way.

3. Fluff
Most Notaries tell you lots of fluff about themself that any other Notary would claim. Claiming it doesn’t make it true, and those reading your notes are tired of seeing the same old claims thousands of times in a row only to find out that the claims are very rarely true. I am professional, reliable, responsible, accurate, etc. are claims that won’t get you anywhere. Being experienced helps, but reliable counts against you. The most unreliable and unskilled Notaries are the first ones to claim to be reliable — think about that. Notaries that actually have merit talk about specific types of loans they sign, specific Title companies they are on the white glove list for, and specifics about what they do to get your job done. Facts — not fluff please unless you are in the pillow business!

4. TMI
Too much information can also be bad. If you are experienced with two hundred types of documents, it might not be a good idea to list them all. I would not list more than twenty, unless you have a link to your web site where you can list them all. Listing 500 zip codes also creates a mess on your profile and on my site. Please don’t do this. Keep the right amount of information and keep it straight.

5. Misinformation
Some people claim to speak Spanish when in fact they cannot get through a loan in Spanish. If you claim to know a language and put it in the language box, do NOT do so unless you know enough to get through a signing. This will involve understanding a lot of Mortgage and Legal terms which are not always known to the layperson, and you might not know from hanging out with Aunty Consuela who talks to you in Spanish about issues concerning daily life, your kids, your husband, your cooking (and how you added too much salt yesterday,) etc.

6. Omissions of quick & good content
Popular things to add that are typically not added in notes sections include:
Radius — those reading your profile would lose to know your radius.
Last minute assignments — since many are looking for you to jump and run, saying up top that you do last minute is good.
Equipment — Don’t write a novel on this, but some quick pointers on what you have might help.
Languages — Add this
Loan Types — a comprehensive list of loan types helps a lot. Don’t leave any out.

7. Rambling
Going on and on about how you put the client first and how you keep things confidential and you value professionalism to the utmost is using lots of words to say basically nothing. Be informative in what you say, and make sure the reader can put their finger on what you really mean rather than just rambling.

8. Education
You can mention all of the agencies you are certified by or background screened. Any designation is good. The more the merrier.

9. Keep your notes updated regularly
We keep track of how often you update your notes. Many people have had the same information for five years and we don’t like that. Login and brush things up from time to time.

10. Mistakes
Don’t make spelling mistakes as people will refuse to hire you based on that. Title companies assume that if you make a spelling mistake you will also make a mistake with their loan which is a reasonable assumption.

11. Ask for help
We help people with their notes. We make quick commentaries and can tidy things up. We can’t write it for you, but we can rearrange your notes or clean them up.


You might also like:

How to write a notes section if you are a beginner

2014 excerpts from great notes sections


August 1, 2010

Business Cards

Filed under: Marketing Articles — Tags: , , , — admin @ 3:53 am

Here are some tips for business cards.
If you are a notary, your business card is one of your best marketing tools. Business cards help existing customers remember who you are and how to contact you. Additionally, it is smart to hand out business cards to co-workers of customers, and other people in any building where you have done a notary job. The fact that they have seen you and know you do notary work makes them ten times as likely to use you rather than someone else. Additionally, you can mail business cards with flyers to title and signing companies who are prospective clients. You can also hand out business cards at convelescent homes, jails, bailbond offices, and other business too, to make yourself known to prospective clients. Having the right information on your business card can make an extra special impression. Here is what you can put.

(1) Your commission #. You will appear more professional and official if your notary commission # is printed on your business card. Of course, when you renew your commission, you will have a different commission #, so you will have to redraw your cards.

(2) A picture of yourself ads personality to the card and this is popular with successful realtors and other professionals.

(3) Great artwork always is a great touch.
I have pictures of Yellow mountain in China on my card.

(4) A registered business name makes you look professional. Many notaries do business using their personal name, but “Ellen’s notary service” looks much more professional than “Ellen Smith, Notary Public”.

(5) A phone number, address, and email address are generally helpful

(6) A link to your social media sites is always good.

(7) Hiring a professional designer to do the layout for you could give your card a great look.

Your opinions are always welcomed!

Here are some forum posts relating to business cards:

Notary Marketing 102 – a free comprehensive marketing course

Business cards

Do company names help?

Stealing a business name


January 25, 2022

Vampire Notaries: 24 hour service

This was originally published in 2013

It was a dark and rainy night.
A couple called a company called Vampire Notaries for a late night signing.

The company’s motto was:
“We are part vampire; We provide 24 hour service”

They were going to sign a simple affidavit. The couple thought the business name of the notary sounded romantic in an erie way. In any case, the vampire(s) showed up a the appointed time.

It was 2am on a rainy night. There was thunder; There was lightening. The couple was cozying up next to the fireplace sipping wine. Then, there was a slow, but emphatic knock on the door. Knock………… knock……….. knock………. Each knock was heavy and decisive, but not frighteningly loud. There was a four second pause between each knock.

Two seemingly normal men in their 30’s were at the door. They both had clean cut hair, and were clean shaven. Everything was normal about these two guys, or at least, so it seemed. The only distinguishing aspect of their appearance was their long black coats. But, it was raining, so perhaps they needed a long trenchcoat, right? Or, was this part of their usual attire?

The couple asked why there were two of them. The answer was, “We like to work in pairs”. The couple gave each other a weird look, and then they asked what was next. Vampire #1 asked to see their identification. The couple gladly handed their drivers licenses over. Vampire #1 stared at the picture of the lady, and said, “That’s a nice picture, you have nice rosy cheeks… you must have good circulation! Do you work out?” Next, Vampire #1 wanted to see the documents. The couple was instructed to sign the documents. Next, it was time for pawprints. Vampire #2 asked for a right thumbprint from the husband. At this point, the wife asked, “Aren’t you asking for a lot? The next thing you will ask for is a DNA sample, a retinal scan, or even a BLOOD SAMPLE.”.

At this point, Vampire #1 exclaimed,
“Funny you should mention that” — and gave a knowing glance to the the other vampire.

Then it was time for the wife’s thumbprint. The husband said to Vampire #2, “You really do spend a lot of time looking over my shoulders and breathing down my neck. Vampire #2 said, “They don’t call us Vampire Notaries for nothing!”. Finally, the wife noticed that Vampire #1 was doing 90% of the work. She asked why one Vampire did almost all of the work. Vampire #2 explained, “I prefer to watch!” — with a delighted look on his face.

After the notary work was all done, the couple paid the notaries. But, Vampire #2 said, “We are not done yet”. The wife asked, “What more could we possibly do?”. Vampire #2 walked over to his briefcase, and whipped out four dixie cups and announced, “It’s time for our midnight elixer!”. Vampire #1 brought a small bottle of sangria, he glanced at the couple’s Anderson Valley Syrah and said, “You are drinking the WRONG type of wine!”.

So, all four of them enjoyed a two ounce sip of Sangria (the Italian word for BLOOD) from their little chalices. After that, the vampires were about to part ways with this young couple. The lady said to the man, “They seemed nice, but that was a little strange”.

Right before the vampires walked out the front door, Vampire #1 whipped out a purple light. The couple saw what these guys looked like in the light, and their eyes turned a very disconcerting color, and their teeth turned color too, emphasizing their fangs.

“Oh my god”, screamed the wife.

“Fare well”, retorted the vampires… and left, with the door making a medium-loud clunk as it closed.

The next day, the couple woke up. Everything seemed normal. The husband brushed his teeth. The wife took her shower. They enjoyed a slow breakfast with all of the usual items. Then, it was time for a kiss before going to work. But, the wife noticed something.

“Fred, What are those strange marks on your neck?”

(1) The company’s motto was: “We are part vampire; We provide 24 hour service”
(2) 2 seemingly normal men in their 30’s were at the door. It was raining, so maybe they needed trenchcoats, right?
(3) Wife: “The next thing you will ask for is a blood sample.”
Vampire Notary: “Funny you should mention that.”
(4) Vampire Notary: “I like your ID picture. You have nice rosy cheeks, you must have good circulation, do you work out?”
(5) After the signing w/Vampire Notary, the 4 of them enjoyed a sip of Sangria (the Italian word for BLOOD)
(6) The day after the signing w/the Vampire Notaries the wife asked: “Fred, what are those strange marks on your neck?”
You might also like:

Top 12 things to do when you are on hold

Notarization for an exorcism

The 24 hour icon and what means

Notary with Tourettes Symdrome


December 31, 2021

The future of Notary work

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 8:03 am

The way the world looks, the way things are going, it looks very bleak, but not for notarizing those who are owing (borrowers).

I looked into my crystal ball, and it was revealed to me. And no, I didn’t get the cheap kind at crystal balls for less. I saw a world of chaos, turmoil, crime, strife. Perhaps inflation would go way up, and interest rates too. People would be dying in mass from the long term side effects of the vaccine that was supposed to keep us “safe”. Where is your safety now Fred said looking down at his demised wife Sylvia lying in her grave three years after taking one of the vaccines. Did the FDA approve it? Was it tested in the long run? No, because there was no time. We had to administer it to as many young and middle aged people as possible who had a one in ten thousand or less chance of dying from Covid, and that was to keep them “safe.” They were more in danger of dying from being struck by lightning or being molested by a variety of politicians in NY or NJ whose names we won’t mention. But, I digress.

Then, it seems that God is upset with the world and upset with America. He has retracted his blessings. But, what does that mean for the Notaries of America? Is that good or bad for us they ask? Here is my thought.

Between disasters, war, vaccine related deaths, and economic chaos, there will be more people buying and selling properties. Notaries these days do lots of “buyers” and “sellers.” Foreclosures often require a notary too. Refinancing tends to be higher when interest rates are low, but in this crazy reality we are entering, people might get refinances if interest rates go up in anticipation that they would go up much more.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us other than WW3, Armageddon, The Messiah, and hopefully a store near me that sells powdered Mexican style pequin pepper (goes great in stir fries). But, I see that Notary work will be busy probably for the next ten years or more.

I believe that the angels got me into this business partly because they knew it suited me. And partly because in 2000 when they got me into this, they saw the shutdowns and quarantines coming and wanted me to have a job I could do from home so I would be economically stable. Well, I am feeling very fortunate and grateful for the good graces of these higher beings who saved my rear that time and many other times.

My only advice to you Notaries out there is:
Get more reviews
Get a catchy business name and register it.
Become an expert at writing a compelling notes section
Stay close (or closer) to God, so when he destroys the planet he’ll consider saving you as an individual even if he sacks your community (no joke).
And try the Thai green curry on Wilshire — it’s really excellent; just the right amount of spice.


October 26, 2021

The goal of 123notary

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 8:03 am

The goal of 123notary is to keep title companies who use us happy. 123notary gets more title and escrow searches than any other directory out there. I have to compete as an individual human with 100 million dollar companies. They only way I can do this is because we live in a talent market these days rather than a purely capitalistic system.

I focus on having the best notaries, filtering out free listings that don’t measure up, filtering up good listings that deserve higher placement, etc. All of this is to give the best search results for title.

I quiz people, help them with their notes, coach them on getting reviews, teach industry competency, and even help people choose business names from time to time.

The goal is not to have the most listings, but to have a critical mass of Notaries who are worth calling and who have very complete looking listings. And I feel I have achieved that goal, although it is a lot of work to maintain!


July 4, 2021

Kaizen – constant improvement applied to the Notary profession

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 3:09 am

Toyota uses this Japanese concept of Kaizen. That means that you are constantly trying to improve yourself and how you do things. I am always trying to improve myself too. This is how we attain mastery.

As Notaries, what happens is that the new people tend to be very motivated, pass a bunch of tests, get background screened, get a million in Errors and Omissions, and try hard to do well.

The problem is that once people are in the door, they tend to stop trying as hard. I think that constantly reading up and trying to master Notary principles, sharpening up your marketing techniques and passing new certifications is a good thing. If you want maximum market share, you have to make a list of things you can do that you are not already doing — or, a list of things that you could try to do better.

Always making your notes section better every two or three months is another critical thing to do. Always asking people who like you for reviews is essential as well.

The most critical thing that motivated Notaries do is to email me and ask for tips. I remember the last Notary in Texas who asked me for tips. She was ALREADY doing a bang up job as far as I am concerned. She had a good notes section, reviews, and was getting experience. She had a good personality as well. She needed to get certified by us and a few other agencies for best results to impress people. But, she had a boring business name. So, I told her that a business name that has a feel to it would help. I made some suggestions of names that will have a warm and fuzzy effect on people. We’ll see what she does with the tips. The main thing is that she asked for tips, and she is always trying to improve herself.

The other thing you could do to improve yourself is to learn Japanese and visit the original Toyota manufacturing plant in Japan — and one more thing — don’t forget to bow, very important.


June 18, 2021

12 ways to negatively advertise yourself and fail as a mobile notary

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 8:51 am

Notaries hire us to advertise them and promote them by virtue of listing them. But, many notaries do counterproductive things with their advertising. Let’s take a closer look.

1. Have a generic sounding business name like “Nationwide Notary Service” , “Statewide Signing Service”, or “Illinois Notary Service.” You will get confused with a lot of others and not stand out. Or just don’t have a business name at all.

2. Don’t ask for reviews — ever… And make sure your work isn’t that great, which will alleviate the risk of getting a positive review. Or you could try to get negative reviews.

3. Never answer your phone, and if you do, make sure to have screaming kids in the background, try to sound muffled, don’t speak into the phone, and don’t be polite. Never announce who you are when you answer your phone — make them guess.

4. Give roundabout answers to questions via phone and insert lots of unasked for information which you think makes you look knowledgeable, but to them makes you look like an annoying novice who won’t stop talking.

5. Use baseless cliche adjectives to describe yourself like “responsible” and “reliable”

6. Leave your notes section blank on your 123notary listing profile.

7. Ramble on and on in your notes section without letting people know your credentials or what you know how to do.

8. Don’t fill in your # of loans signed on your profile. Let people guess and when they ask, say, “lots” rather than giving them actual tangible information such as an actual number.

9. Only work two days a week, and only three hours on each day.

10. Only serve your home county and refuse to go anywhere else for any price.


11. Don’t get any. Or at a minimum, don’t get certified by any agency with tough testing standards. Why bother?

12. Make sure you don’t know your notary knowledge at all. That way you can ensure that you will make Notary mistakes, get in lots of trouble and lose clients.

If you follow all of my tips, I guarantee that you will do really poorly in your business unless you have a very loyal following already. On the other hand, do the opposite, and you might do well. In addition to these tips, if you send back packages late, or in incomplete form, and speak in a rude way to clients, that will enhance your ability to fail in business. Once again, do the opposite and you might succeed.

I wrote this article in jest, but the reality is that most Notaries are not doing everything, or even half of everything they need to do to succeed. Making it as a mobile notary is not a matter of luck. There is a checklist of things you need to do: Notes, Reviews, Certifications, Notes, Business Name, Phone Etiquette, Notary Skills, etc.

The good news is that we have many articles and even free courses on our blog for ALL of these points. And you can become an expert with n


April 29, 2021

A Notary notarizes the My Pillow Guy

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 6:08 am

NOTARY: Hello Mike, how is everything?

MIKE: It’s been rough. People are cancelling me left and right because of my political beliefs. It’s like living in a communist country.

NOTARY: Well, I’m not going to cancel you. May I see some ID?

MIKE: Here you go.

NOTARY: Let’s see, you want to be notarized as Michael J Lindell, but your ID says only Michael Lindell. Sorry… I’m canceling you based on your ID, but not your political views.

MIKE: It has the J there. Time to see an eye doctor.

NOTARY: I just don’t like the way people cut you off, and without any type of landing pad. There was no cushion to your landing. And all because of your PILLOW-tical views.

MIKE: It’s because the pillow guy is “in bed” with the enemy, at least from their point of view. On the other hand, maybe the cancellers got up on the wrong side of the bed.

NOTARY: For them, every side of the bed is the wrong side.

MIKE: I’ll sign to that!

NOTARY: Well maybe you should resolve your issues with the left by having a pillow fight. By the way. I just love how you get all excited over something so mundane as a pillow. You get as excited about pillows as I get just thinking about my future trip to Japan where I will do sake tasting, see amazing parts of Tokyo with the most unique shopping on the planet, and see Buddhist temples in Kyoto.

MIKE: You’re right. I guess I’m a bit eccentric. But, that Egyptian cotton is something else.

NOTARY: I bet Amazon probably cut you off. They have become a bunch of Piranhas in the last few years which is an interesting insight. I guess their business name has a lot of metaphysical impact on their character.

MIKE: Hmm. Very interesting. I never thought of that. So, what does my business name make me — a big softy?

NOTARY: Actually, you kind of act like that… I think you are correct in your assertation. (pause) Please sign here. (pause) According to Judaism, your name is very important. The most famous story in the Torah is when Rachel’s son Benoni’s name was changed to Benjamin. From: son of my sorrows to: son of my right hand. Rachel had to change the boy’s name otherwise he would attract a negative and sorrowful future. But, you are named after an angel, so I guess you are on the right track. And I think angels like pillows.

MIKE: I should order some new wings from Amazon assuming I’m not banned from there. I should get a warranty on angelic wings too if I get some. Angel wings, not teriyaki wings — just wanted to clarify that.

NOTARY: Can you sign the journal? Uh-huh…. Okay. I’m going to stamp the document. You are good to go. Your new pillow contract is good now — REST ASSURED.

MIKE: Another pillow reference.

NOTARY: Have you ever thought of making coffins too? Dead people like to be comfortable too — I’ve heard.

MIKE: I would like to create a coffin for dead people who vote by mail who need to get in and out of that coffin and go to the post office. There’s a big market for those folks, at least as of 2020.

NOTARY: Good point.How about a briefcase with a very soft exterior, or a Notary journal with a very soft cover?

MIKE: Not much of a market for that, but sounds like a great idea. Well thanks for the Affidavit, do I need to swear to anything?

NOTARY: Your notarization was an Acknowledgment and doesn’t include an Oath. But, I am so good with Oaths, I can give them in my sleep… I swear it!

MIKE: Uh…. another pillow reference. I saw that one coming. Okay, it was fun. Let’s hope that this cancel culture ends soon.

NOTARY: And if it doesn’t, you can suffocate it with one of your products.

MIKE: Another one. That one I didn’t see coming!


April 8, 2021

Reminders for those of you who are listed on 123notary

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 5:44 am

Dear Notaries,
If you are listed on 123notary, please consider the following. To do well with your listing you need:

1. Login and confirm your listing every 120 days or sooner. We sometimes temporarily remove listings who show signs of being dormant.

2. Respond to emails from 123notary. Sometimes we ask about information that was omitted from your listing. Other times we send quiz emails which are fast and quick so we can assess your skill level. We take that very seriously and hope you do too.

3. Keep your notes section constantly evolving. It is hard for beginners to write a good notes section. But, as you get more experience, little by little you can add to it. Also, please read our content about writing a good notes section. Nobody in the industry has written more on this topic than myself.

4. Consider studying to be certified by 123notary. Many newbies are NNA and LSS certified with a few certified by Notary2Pro. The latter two have good testing standards. However, to do well on 123notary, it pays to be certified by us. So, if you plan on sticking around on our directory, please think about passing our test.

5. You might consider getting a business name. Think it over carefully and read our articles on the topic.

6. Keep refreshed on what is going on on forums, and refresh yourself on your local state notary laws too. Stay informed.

That’s all for today’s reminders. Staying on top of things takes time, but makes you a far superior force to be reckoned with in the market place.

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