Just for the record, it is illegal to notarize a dead person, so I advise that you don’t break the law in any way, shape or form. I also recommend that you defend the constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic. It is the domestic ones who are the worst these days. Since it is April Fools day, I took the liberty of publishing this silly article. Here are my points.

1. Six Feet Under
Dead people are normally six feet under which satisfies the social distancing requirements. Unfortunately it might be hard to see them and identify them if you are separated by six feet of dirt. But, you could improvise.

2. Notarizing Spirits
If you notarize a spirit, make sure the spirit has ID, and that it is good spirits. I’m not sure how that applies or what that means. I think a human might be in good spirits, if happy spirits are around us. I noticed that during the period of spiritual darkness in mid 2020 my mood declined due to the pervasive influence of malevolent spirits. I was told that would go away in April 2021. Let’s hope for the best.

3. Notarizing a Voice
If you notarize a voice for someone in an insane asylum, first of all realize that all of us hear voices. Some people hear them louder than others or more frequently. The problem is if you believe the voice. I am mildly clarevoyant and regularly talk to the spirit of my guru, healer spirits and a particular angel, but I know these “people” well and know what is in character for them to say. But, the voices that crazy people hear might be demonic spirits. The voices might be “real” , but not savory. But, the bottom line is that the voice must physically appear before you and present ID to be notarized.

4. Dead People Vote for Democrats
The joke is that living people usually vote for Republicans, but vote Democrat after they die. If you are notarizing ballots in any mail-in election, it might be hard to do signature verification on a dead person. It might require some creativity. But, in defense of states requiring notarized ballots, those states were not questioned by Trump’s Attorneys. So, Giuliani must have some faith in the notarization process. He should send some of his signature cigars out to Notaries who did a good job.

5. Half Dead
People who are half dead in a hospital who cannot think clearly or communicate well or hold a pen properly are prime risk for lawsuits. One in seven notaries on our site who has been in business full-time for several years ended up in court. If you want to increase your chances of appearing before a judge, engage in risky hospital notarizations. It pays to speak directly to the signer for hospital signings. If they are sleeping and cannot talk to you, that is a bad sign.

6. The Vaccine
My psychic says that those who take the vaccine will become infertile, genetically adulterated and become the living dead and we will have something like a zombie apocalypse of some sort. He said they would become something inhuman. I’m not sure about his credibility, but there is aluminum and some DNA strings that can affect your immunity in various ways which is not natural and scary. I wouldn’t take it. But, you might have to notarize the half dead one day so brace yourself.

7. Carmen
Carmen passed away in late July, 2020. She doesn’t need to be notarized in heaven, but if you want to chat with her, get used to communicating with the dead. She still has a good sense of humor and might give you some good tips.

Summary
This article is for comedic purposes only and you cannot legally notarize a dead person’s signature even if they signed before they died. Don’t try it.

A Notary went to notarize Dr. Fauci. Fauci said that the only way he could be notarized would be by looking at the numbers.

The notary said he wanted $15 per signature and if there were two signatures then $30. The notary assured Fauci that the rising quantity of signatures do not translate directly into an increase in hospitalizations.

But, Fauci said he could not consent to being notarized until the numbers went down and that he bases his decision on “the numbers” and “the science.”

So, the Notary said, “Okay, I’ll lower my price to $14 for the first signature or $23 for two.” Fauci said, “Deal.”

Then the Notary asked if he would have to wear a facemask or if Fauci would, or both of them — or would it depend on “the numbers?” Fauci said that both of them would and that they would have to sterilize the pen, stamp, and documents as well.

A bystander stated — the human immune system is strengthened by getting sunshine, happiness and by being exposed to viruses so it can build up its strength and genetic knowledge of viruses to be able to effectively fight future new viruses. By locking yourself in your house, depriving yourself of sunshine, social interaction that leads to happiness, and virus exposure which strengthen the immune system — you are leaving yourself in a vulnerable state for when you finally come out of hiding and will be a lot more susceptible to future viruses.

Then the Notary said, “Yes, but you can’t say that because that isn’t consistent with the narrative.” The bystander said, “Good point — carry on.”

The Notary went so far as to get a plexiglass divider between himself and Fauci that he hauled in his car to the site of the signing just to add to the insanity and inhumanity of the situation.

My question is — why is it that everywhere I go I see paranoia, plexiglass, facemasks and insanity, when only 1 in 1 million people is dying per day of Covid19 in California and those numbers are vastly inflated to meet a BS narrative.

Ending comments
Covid Covid Covid. Covid, oh my God Covid. What if I get Covid? Covid Covid Covid. Nothing else in the universe matters except for the dozen or so unarmed blacks who get killed by cops every year and Covid. The million who die per year of cancer and other who die of obesity, heart attacks, and suicide don’t matter even though their lives are also preventable because cancer isn’t contagious. The only thing that matters is – Covid, oh my god Covid. Covid Covid Covid. What if I get Covid? This is what a typical 20 year old in Los Angeles thinks who has a 1 in 10 million chance of dying from Covid, but a much higher chance of getting hit by a truck, but they never think about that because they are Covidiots. If you are elderly and have serious health problems then you have a legitimate right to worry about Covid. Every one else — does not! Why are educated humans so stupid that they voluntarily line up to get brainwashed by absolutely see through fake BS? I’m glad the universities are shut because they don’t learn anything except about neo-Marxism and they don’t even learn that correctly.

I watch my news on youtube. I can check various news sources. It seems they are all controlled by the same entity. Fox news tends to chop down the other networks, but none of them tell you the real truth or so I claim.

JEREMY: Hmm, let’s see what’s on NBC news. What should I be scared about today? I think I should be scared about something. It’s either Covid, baseless claims of voter fraud (even though there are heaps of evidence it is still “baseless”, war, riots, or racism…

LESTER HOLT: (NBC news music . da. da. ta da da da …… da . da. ta da da da…. symbol crash… da da ta da da da…. symbol crash…) Be scared…. If you are not scared… you should be scared. this music we play is neurolinguistic programming to get you scared… Then when you hear our selectively scary news, you will be even more scared. There is a new strain of Covid that’s even more deadly than before… It makes you grow horns out of your head and it spreads 72.3% faster than the regular strain — be scared. And this strain is not only dangerous for adults — CHILDREN get it. Here is a 2 year old at Cedar’s hospital in Missouri who just turned blue. She will never be the same again and she might not make it. The solution? Stop having fun, socially distance, cancel Christmas, don’t go to church, and for God’s sake — don’t be happy or make a living, especially if you are a Notary Public or essential worker!

JEREMY: hmmm. I guess they pick that one 2 year old out of the 5 million 2 year olds in America that is having a problem, but don’t bother to mention that the other two year olds are almost completely resistant to Covid. Let’s look up to see how the Vaccine is going.

NEWSCASTER: Good news… Sally is the first one to get the vaccine and she is an African American woman. Finally, people from communities that were traditionally disadvantage can have access to cutting edge medicine.

JEREMY: That woman is about 33 and at no risk of Covid. Why are they going out of their way to show how they can give a vaccine to a black person who doesn’t need it at all at the expense of an elderly person who does — assuming it is a real vaccine which is a lot to assume with all the BS going on. Hmm. A black woman of child bearing age. What is their angle?

TUCKER CARLSON: In the news today… (Fox News)

JEREMY: Hmm. I bet Tucker is going to poke holes in hypocrisy today. He will chop down baseless claims that some Democrat made. Maybe Chuck Schumer, or Rashida Tlaib, or possibly AOC. Who will he criticize today, or should I say — which Democrat will he make a fool out of?

TUCKER: Lindsey Graham, a Republican from South Carolina wants to give funding to a gender equality program in Pakistan.

JEREMY: What??? Tucker is criticizing Republicans now? I have seen everything now. The end is near. I’ll start getting gifts for the Messiah ready should I live so long. Looks like Senator Graham is being too “Progressive.”

TUCKER: He wants to spend OUR tax dollars, or should I say our hard earned money in some foreign country telling them to rethink their gender roles. Isn’t that THEIR business how their society runs? Why should we butt into their business using money from unconsenting tax payers?

JEREMY: Hmmm. Looks like the Republicans have become leftists. Next thing you know, AOC will become anti-abortion.

HANNITY: (Fox News) In the news, AOC has reported that she has a new stance on a very critical social issue — she is no longer pro choice…. I repeat, she is no longer pro choice. She considers abortion wrong, not because it involves killing but because it leads to inequality.

JEREMY: I think I should stick to listening to music on youtube. All of this news is driving me crazy.

What is a pandemic, and how do you know you are in one.

LADY: How can you go to work when we are in the middle of a pandemic?
GUY: How do you define pandemic?
LADY: Lots of people are dying. It’s an emergency!!!

There are several facts one should know about pandemics, particularly the “fakedemic” we are in now.

1. Covid19 is real, but only has a high death rate for people over 70, and a few very vulnerable people younger than that.

2. Hospitals get paid several thousand extra per death if they record the death as a Covid19 death. This could be considered bribery, or an invitation to corruption.

3. There are no definitive standards for what constitutes a Covid19 death. Many (roughly 25%) of the Covid deaths happened without the dead party being proven positive for Covid19.

4. The remaining 75% of Covid19 deaths consist of:
People who had Covid before , got over it, and died of something else
People who had Covid, but got hit by a bus, had a motorcycle accident, etc.
Those who had Covid but died of another lung complication such as the flu, or pneumonia
People who died solely of Covid which account for roughly 1-3% of the grand total of Covid19 Deaths.

5. The real total of people who died solely of Covid might be around 20,000, and those who died primarily of Covid might be about 40,000 to 80,000, but not whatever the total is these days which is coming up to 300,000 in the USA.

6. According to Judaism, a Pandemic is defined as an infectious disease that kills 3 in 500 people per day. In California Covid19 kills less than 2 people per Million per day. We would need 4000x the quantity of deaths (not cases) to qualify as a pandemic according to Judaism.

7. According to common sense, a Pandemic would be a situation where all hospitals are overflowing, the military is there, constant sirens, ambulances, helicopters moving the sick to where they could be cared for and moving the dead around. During the worst of the “pandemic” in NYC they did have bodies stacked up in the morgue, and overflowing hospitals. But, they did not use military hospitals. The rest of the country did not have such a drastic or desperate situation.

8. I see a pandemic of insanity, madness, and a lack of common sense. People believe everything the biased lamestream media tells them without scrutinizing the information or comparing it to other sources. We have fake pandemics, fake elections, fake news, fake impeachments, fake genders, and fake food. We seek to solve our pandemic with a man-made fake solution, namely a vaccine.

9. This plandemic is more like a horror movie where the evil scientist with a German accent creates a deadly virus, and has the cure for it locked up in a freezer compartment looking forward to selling it at a huge margin. But, in the end of such movies, the mad scientist gets locked up and the resilient people recover. In our case, the mad scientists are in China and backed by God knows who. I don’t see them going to jail.

10. Due to this plandemic, America has forgotten the hundreds of thousands of brave souls who fought so that we could have freedom, a constitution, and rule of law. Now, we are living under tyranny. States are putting respectable businesses in the food and entertainment industry permanently out of business all in the name of “safety.” The bigger problem is that the system of checks and balances doesn’t seem to be functioning. The courts let governors act as emperors and the people do not complain too loudly, even in gun toting redneck states (yee-haw).

Summary
Unless the people wake up and decide that yes, the constitution, liberty, freedom from tyranny, and a good economy matter (just as much as black lives matter), then we will either not have a country much longer, become Marxist, or have a broken economy, political system, and everything else. We are moving fast in that direction .But, why? Because of a pandemic of irrational thinking, a lack of common sense, and a hundred-fold overreaction to Covid Covid, oh my God Covid!

According to Judaism, the spiritual root of infections diseases are:
1. Improper use of speech such as slander, lying, jealousy, abusive speech and others.
2. Improper sexual behavior such as premarital sex, homosexual behavior, etc.
3. Violent behavior. In America there is a lot of spousal abuse, child trafficking, gang violence, etc.

A vaccine can save you from this current pandemic (maybe), but will not save you from God. If God feels you go around lying, cheating, slandering, and bearing false witness against your neighbor which has been huge, especially in politics since 2014 (much huger than normal in my opinion) then he will get you some other way. You can hide fro Covid, but you cannot hide from God

The contents of this article are some high quality, analytical, back to reality and solid spiritual principles which even atheists can get at least on a moral level. Only 20% of Americans (rough estimate) are thinking logically, the others are completely impossible to reason with and let their fear and emotions dictate their opinions. I do not feel it is safe to have your life run by a majority of insane lunatics. Think deeply about what I just said.