Humorous Posts Archives - Page 2 of 13 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

March 18, 2019

Marriage therapy for Notaries

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:24 am

THERAPIST: So, how is everybody today. What’s on your mind.

WIFE: I can’t believe Norman. He is so in love with his job that he wants to take his Notary seal to bed with him. I think he’s more attracted to his seal than to me. If only he lasted as long as his commission did.

HUSBAND: Believe me, my seal makes my certificate rise more than you do.

WIFE: I bet the raised impression your embosser leaves gives you a rise as well.

HUSBAND: It helped me pick up where you left off.

WIFE: See what I mean? This is what I have to deal with.

HUSBAND: She always nags me about my signature. I don’t see anything wrong with my signature.

WIFE: You never see anything wrong with anything you do. Typical man.

HUSBAND: That’s not true, I see something wrong with my marrying you.

THERAPIST: How does his signature make you feel?

WIFE: His signature looks like a ten on the Richter scale of an earthquake chart.

THERAPIST: Don’t make blanket statements like that. He sometimes doesn’t see how what he does is wrong.

WIFE: Okay. But, he really is more attracted to his seal than he is to me.

HUSBAND: Well, my seal doesn’t nag me to death… that’s part of the allure.

WIFE: I wish there were a way that he could be attracted to me.

HUSBAND: Well that would be coercion and you know what the California Notary Handbook says about that!

WIFE: Well if I could coerce you, then our marriage could enter a new page.

HUSBAND: My journal is pretty much out of new pages.

WIFE: So, get a new journal.

HUSBAND: Well that’s exactly my line of thinking, but I would need a good divorce Attorney before I can do that.

THERAPIST: Well, what are your goals in a marriage?

HUSBAND: I’d like to try thumb printing.

WIFE: That is so inky… and kinky. How about tonight?

THERAPIST: I feel we are making progress, but don’t make me swear (or affirm) to that fact.

WIFE: I prefer affirming, because I’m anti-God. Or maybe I’m pro-God and that is why I don’t want to use the lord’s name for a petty Oath.

HUSBAND: My goal for a marriage first and foremost is to not get nagged constantly. The rest is all details.

WIFE: My goal for a Notary marriage is to not be put in situations where I am provoked to nag.

THERAPIST: Well maybe we should role play.

WIFE: We tried that and my husband didn’t the costumes and wasn’t getting turned on enough.

THERAPIST: No, not that kind of role play. Why not have Brian try to give you a little more attention, and you try to be conscious of how he doesn’t want to be nagged. Take notes every day on how your relationship develops, and we’ll talk about it next week.

WIFE: Sounds like a deal. But, before I go, can I check your ID?

THERAPIST: Okay. My middle name is just listed as an initial here.

WIFE: Could you sign my journal too? This is just standard procedure for Notaries.

THERAPIST: Habits — got it.

Share
>

March 15, 2019

Dr. Phil moderates dispute: Notaries vs. Signing Companies

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:36 am

Dr. PHIL: You have asked me to moderate your ongoing dispute between Notaries and signing companies. I hope that we will have a fruitful session and resolve some of your issues.

FRANK: Thank you Dr. Phil. We Notaries have been complaining for years about low-ball fees. We are sick of it and want to get paid what we deserve.

SAMANTHA: Thank you Dr. Phil. We signing companies used to have better quality Notaries to work for us. In the last several years, the quality keeps going down and down. We feel we shouldn’t have to pay much money to these Notaries who in our opinion, should not be commissioned in the first place.

FRANK: If you want better quality Notaries you are not going to get them based on what you pay.

SAMANTHA: Well, if you want more money, you won’t get it with your communication and notary skills.

Dr. PHIL: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Now, Frank, I don’t know what your level of competency is as a Notary Public. If you want to get paid good money, you have to be good at what you do.

FRANK: Oh, I’m good at what I do.

SAMANTHA: No he’s not. He claims to be good at what he does. We tested him and he got 30% on our test which is so easy, high-school student could pass. We only hire him because the other Notaries are either just as bad, or charge a lot more.

Dr. PHIL: Too bad you don’t get paid for deluding yourself, you’re good at that. Now, you think you are good at what you do, but Samantha here has given you a standardized test and you failed. How can you call yourself a great Notary when you failed a very basic sounding standardized test?

FRANK: Well that’s because I’m anything but a standard Notary. And by the way, you’re just as bad as she is.

Dr. PHIL: Well, what do you think your average standard person is going to think if they know you failed your test?

FRANK: They’ll think I’m an idiot.

Dr. PHIL: So, do you think someone functioning at the level of an idiot deserves high pay? Do you think they deserve to be hired at all? Would you hire someone who failed a professional exam?

FRANK: Oh, well now that you put it that way. Hmmm. Well I thought I was good at what I did. I don’t get complaints?

Dr. PHIL: You have a complaint sitting right next to you. Do you think you’re being honest with yourself?

FRANK: In all honesty, yes… wait, can I start being honest now? Well at least I thought I was being honest with my self.

Dr. PHIL: The fact remains that you are not honest with yourself about how you are severely lacking in your knowledge of notary and signing basics. Those that hire you are not happy about that fact. They will never pay you much as long as you don’t live up to their expectations.

FRANK: What about my expectations?

SAMANTHA: We put up with this type of attitude to save $50 per signing. If we didn’t do that, we would not be able to turn a profit.

Dr. PHIL: Well you get what you pay for. Frank here is not living in reality and exhibits no willingness to learn his profession to the point where he seems hireable. Now, let me ask you a few questions Samantha. How often do the Notaries you hire make mistakes and what are the potential damages to your finances when they do make mistakes? Try to give me as many realistic scenarios as possible.

SAMANTHA: When we hire new Notaries, we screen them out first to get rid of the ones that sound really bad on the phone. The ones we hire, we encounter a 3% error rate, at least with the new hires.

Dr. PHIL: And what are the damages?

SAMANTHA: It’s really hard to say. Sometimes we have to resign. Other times we have to redraw documents. Once , a client lost his lock. But, in one isolated incident, an identity thief was notarized with a fake ID that a good Notary would have spotted. That cost us $20,000 and time in court.

Dr. PHIL: So, that sounds dangerous to me. What is the average cost of a notary mistake, all factors considered?

SAMANTHA: After doing the math, it looks like the average mistake might cost $400. Since mistakes only happen 3% of the time the cost per average job hiring questionable notaries might be $12. We are saving a lot more than $12 to hire cheaper Notaries so it seems worth it to me.

Dr. PHIL: What about the cost to your reputation and the risk of losing clients because you hire less than perfect Notaries?

SAMANTHA: That is always an issue, but since we clean up problems quickly, we haven’t lost more than a few clients. But, that does seem to be a bigger issue. How many Title Company clients have we lost due to the quality of the Notaries we have hired, and how many more would we retain or attract if we used better Notaries. It might be worth $30 extra to hire a better Notary.

FRANK: Now, I’m out of business for sure.

SAMANTHA: Unless you study. It wouldn’t kill you to crack a book.

FRANK: It might.

Dr. PHIL: It looks like we have had a good discussion here. I have learned something, and I think you, Samantha have learned more about the various factors in this complicated equation of who you hire, how much you pay them, and why. Now, Frank, have you also learned that you need to study more to be able to pass standardized tests to make a good impression on people who hire you?

FRANK: 123notary is the only entity who has quizzed me recently, and they are a directory. They don’t even hire people. I don’t think anyone else cares if I know anything, so why should I care?

Dr. PHIL: If you want to get more work at higher prices, you should care. I read an article that says that 123notary certified signers make $8 more per signing and get a heck of a lot more work.

You might also like:

Marriage Therapy for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21220

Bikers on Boats; Notaries heisting signatures
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21160

Notarization on the Steve Harvey Show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13704

Share
>

March 5, 2019

Bikers on boats; Notaries heisting signatures

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:59 am

A pirate is no different than a biker on a boat. But, what about Notaries in cars heisting signatures.

NOTARIES: This is a stick up. Hand over your signatures. This is a heist!

SIGNERS: But, we have no signatures

NOTARIES: Then start signing. Hmm. That sounds familiar. And make sure we get paid on time.

FRANK: You don’t get paid during a heist. You just take what you take.

JOHN: Okay you’re right. But, with all of this signing, I should get a check cut for $50 at least.

SIGNERS: Umm, what are we signing?

JOHN: How about this napkin.

SIGNER #1: I’m afraid that the pen might rip the napkin.

JOHN: Just shut up and sign — this is a heist. I repeat. This is a heist.

FRANK: Okay, we have the signatures now what?

JOHN: We get in the get away car. I hope Charlie’s not drinking coffee again. That will spill when we take off.

CHARLIE: Ready. Donuts this time and a Starbuck’s can. I’ll just chuck it out the window.

FRANK: Okay, take off.

(sirens)

POLICE: License and registration please.

FRANK: Is there anything wrong officer?

POLICE: We got a complaint about you.

JOHN: We didn’t steal the signatures, honest. They were given to us.

POLICE: The complaint was not about signatures. It was about a Starbucks can that was thrown out the window. Breaker 1 breaker. Littering call being responded to with a 123.

FRANK: The irony of it all. Charlie, I knew you shouldn’t have had any coffee. At least we weren’t speeding.

JOHN: With this traffic, who can speed. Besides, we don’t get paid enough for driving this far just for a few signatures.

POLICE: Okay, you are going to get a warning for this, but I’m going to send it to you by text. Sound familiar?

JOHN: Sure, kind of like cattle calls. We’re used to that. Just don’t give us any $40 offers please.

POLICE: Don’t worry I won’t. And if I ever need anything notarized, trust me, I’ll call anyone except you!

FRANK: Thanks a bunch!

Share
>

March 1, 2019

A Notary can get a job in a bank more easily

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:34 am

If you are a Notary Public and want to get a job, sometimes it is easier to get a job at a bank, insurance agency or Real Estate office. Or , if you already have experience working for these types of offices and want to apply for a new job and have an edge, it might be helpful to become a Notary.

It is far easier to get a job in a bank if you are a Notary Public. Of course you need to have other skills to make hiring you viable. To become a Notary, just contact your state notary division. Commissioning requirements are different in each state, but generally easy unless you live in California where you have to pass a difficult test.

As a Notary in a bank, you will be notarizing mainly for customers, occasionally for staff members, but you can also freelance off hours. If your boss wants to see your journal, he has the right to request seeing a particular journal entry, and he can see it in your presence. Don’t hand over your seal and journal to your boss for him to walk off with – that might be considered a crime!

Being a Notary makes it easier to get a job in general, and you can also use your commission to freelance during nights and weekends. Many Notaries make a comfortable supplement to their living doing loan signings at night.

Share
>

February 8, 2019

Mission Impossible — Notary Version

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:33 am

Tom Cruise Does His Own Stunts in his Biggest Blockbuster Yet – Mission Impossible: The Notary

Your mission, if you choose to accept it… deal with a difficult signer who wants his family to move and if the signer signs a deed in trust, he’ll be locked into the mortgage and won’t be able to sell the house. You’re Tom Cruise. If they pay you 20 million more than a notary’s salary, you’ll accept anything!

Cut to: Tom is in the middle of a signing in a high rise for a husband and wife. The deranged high school drop out son doesn’t want the family to move. Since the signer would suffer economic consequences if he sold the house within several years of the new mortgage, the son runs in the signing, swipes the Deed of Trust, starts running up the stairs towards the roof and jumps off with his parasail. Tom quickly follows, encounters a rooftop party up there, pushes a reveler off the sofa, hops on the couch and leaps off it even more effectively than he did on the Oprah Winfrey Show couch, landing on the fleeing guy’s parasail just as he jumps off the building.

After the parasail lands, Tom and the son dismount. After a fist fight ensues, the son jumps into his getaway car. Tom hijacks another car with a bumper sticker that reads “Honk if You Hate Scientology.” Suddenly Tom’s eardrums nearly shatter from a whole bunch of cars loudly honking. After Tom notes what they’re honking at, a very, very wide bumper sticker that reads, “Honk if You Hate Signing Companies that take more than sixty days to pay if you’ve already sent two invoices,” Tom gives the other loud honkers the thumbs up and starts loudly honking himself.

Tom keeps following the other bad guy/signer, ending up in an industrial area on a narrow street. The car he’s pursuing is now two hundred feet ahead. With a truck coming toward Cruise at a 90-degree angle, he’ll be blocked unless he wants to shave his roof off! Tom screeches to a halt, rolls under the truck and runs towards the other car now a block ahead of him but blocked by 73 pedestrians on a field trip. The bad guy signer exits his car and starts to run, Tom runs towards him, flings his embosser at the guy’s head, knocks him out and retrieves the deed of trust!

By movie’s end, Tom finishes the signing, drops it at Fed Ex before the cutoff, and then asks the baddie in handcuffs:

“By the way, where did you get that parasail? It was an impressively smooth landing, no jerky motion or anything!”

Bad guy: “I went to Parasailsforless.com!”

Tom’s too rich to buy anything for less.

Share
>

February 1, 2019

The Me Too Movement affects Notaries in the workplace at a bank

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:32 am

Me Too Movement Meets the Bank Notary

In this era of sensitivity when it comes to unwanted sexual behavior in the workplace, even bank notaries need to be mindful.

Male co-worker: (to female notary) “Ooh, I love your seal.”

Female notary: “I’d like to have HR ram it up your rear end for sexual harassment.”

Male co-worker: “Wait. How is having something rammed up my rear my end not sexual harassment?”

Female notary: “Typical guy. With you, everything’s sexual.

Male co-worker: “Are you willing to sign an affidavit swearing under penalty of perjury that with me, everything’s sexual?”

Female notary: “Why ‘affidavit’? Sounds like ‘David’. Why not ‘affiMary?’

Male co-worker: “Look, I realize we all need to be more sensitive and attuned to sexual equality. But isn’t that a little nuts?”

Female notary: “Nuts?”

Male co-worker: “As in ‘crazy,’ not… you know!”

Just then, the boss arrived and asked the female notary, “Can I see your journal?”

Female notary: “You may be my boss, but I’d really appreciate it if you keep your suggestive comments to yourself, sir. How much of my journal do you need to see?”

Boss: “I need to review the misfeasance report.”

Female notary: “Misfeasance? Why not… Miz..feasance?”

Just then, Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein enter the bank.

Matt: (to female notary): “Sweetheart, I need to get something notarized.”

Female notary (beaming): “You’re Matt Lauer!”

Harvey Weinstein: (to Matt): “Hey! Don’t call her sweetheart. That’s sexist!”

Female notary: (to Weinstein) “Shut up, you pig.”

Share
>

January 4, 2019

An American Notary dates Chinese Notary using an app.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:35 am

An American Notary named Sam did not speak a word of Chinese, but yet dated Sun-Yee who didn’t speak any English other than what was necessary to pass the Notary exam. They met at a hotel convention center while taking their exam.

SAM: Hi there. I just love your hair.

SUN-YEE: Sorry, no English.

SAM: No problem, we can communicate using this app. I used it with my last foreign girlfriend who was Russian.

SUN-YEE: Oh, Russian.

SAM: The app didn’t translate the subtle nuances of Russian expressions into English. But, she was hot, so I didn’t care and neither did she.

SUN-YEE: Oh, I look up New Ants. Do you mean newly born ants from ant hill?

SAM: No, read this screen — “NUANCE.”

SUN-YEE: Oh, SAT word. Nuance. ha ha ha. I understand now.

SAM: Read this — would you like to date me?

SUN-YEE: I don’t know, are you into Notaries?

SAM: Read this — it takes one to know one.

Anyway, Sam and Sun-Yee happily dated for two months until the translate app got hacked and all of the messages were scrambled. Sam’s comment to Sun-Yee got him slapped.

SAM: Read this — You look nice today (hacked translation) You look like you are having an affair today.

SUN-YEE: Smacks Sam in the face.

SAM: Ouch, what was that for. Hmm. Was it something I typed? Maybe it is time to learn Chinese, and Russian while I am at it.

SUN-YEE: Hmm, I use dictionary to look up what you said for second opinion.

SAM: It is says something good, will you unslap me? Never mind. I’ll use my broken Chinese. If Chinese English is called Chinglish, then what is Americanized sounding Chinese? Am-Ching? NI HEN PIAO LIANG JIN TIAN pointing to i-phone.

SUN-YEE: Ohhh. I so sorry, translate wrong. I unslap you now. XIE XIE, NI YEH HEN HAO KAN.

SAM: Gee thanks… You said I am also very good looking. Hmm, I wonder if your dictionary has the term credible witness?

SUN-YEE: Oh, that sound’s dirty. You want someone to watch? SMACK!!!!

SAM: I seem to be getting beaten up here. This is pre-spousal abuse. How will I marry this girl?

Finally after another two weeks, the app was frozen, and could not be used. Sun-Yee lost her dictionary, and the two of them had no way to communicate other than by having a certified translator make a notarized copy of every sentence they said. They took him along on one date and then Sam decided he liked the translator better than Sun-Yee. So, ends the story of Sam & Sun-Yee. The moral of the story is that technology is all so wonderful until you have a power outage or get hacked.

After that, Sam learned perfect Chinese, but then fell in love with a Portuguese lady and found that his study had been a waste of time. He should have been studying Portuguese. But, then his girlfriend dumped him and he got a job in Chinese teaching English and found that his Chinese was useful after all. Too bad he couldn’t bring his Notary seal to China otherwise he could have made a mint.

Share
>

December 28, 2018

Notary Stand Up Routine

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:22 am

COMEDIAN: This is a great crowd here. This is my first time performing for a group of Notaries. In fact, when I came here, I didn’t even know what a Notary was. Can you fill me in here?

NOTARY #1: We can’t fill you in, because we only fill in forms.

COMEDIAN: Well, think of me like a form. So, what was the most unusual thing you ever notarized?

SAMANTHA: I notarized a criminal once. It was kind of scary.

COMEDIAN: Oh, a little aiding and abetting here.

SAMANTHA: Not abetting — abutting. We were notarizing paperwork for the next door property.

COMEDIAN: Oh, thanks for abutting in and telling me.

TOM: I notarized a stripper once. I got paid with a lap dance for the first signature, and she paid for the other signatures in ones.

COMEDIAN: Why does this not surprise me. So, have any of you thought of naming your kids Affi-David?

PAULA: I prefer Liath, that way when he does track, I can say, “Go Liath!!!”

COMEDIAN: An interesting twist on reality. I just hope he doesn’t fall short in track.

NOTARY #1: When I was a teenager, my mom walked in on me when I was notarizing with my friend. We were just practicing.

COMEDIAN: Oh, kind of like playing doctor? How embarrassing.

SAMANTHA: When I became a Notary, my state proctored an exam at a test station, but I heard them wrong and thought they said attestation. So, I went to the wrong place and had to reschedule my exam.

PAULA: Yeah, I had to take a blood test to be a Notary in my test. I passed the test, but they remarked that my triglycerides were a bit too high.

COMEDIAN: How about Oaths. Have you administered any unusual Oaths?

TOM: I had to do a remote court appearance Oath. I asked the lady if she swore to tell the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God. But, she was an atheist, so I changed the verbiage to “un-God.”

COMEDIAN: Personally, I prefer “non-God” but I’ll settle for un-God. So, has anyone notarized standing up?

PAULA: I notarized at Standing Rock standing up. But, I didn’t have a stand up routine, so my next signing was at Sitting Bull.

COMEDIAN: I hope you didn’t get gourd by the Sitting Bull.

NOTARY #1: I once went to notarize an acupuncturist. She was going to pay me by working on my neck. She wasn’t there. So, I turned around and got stung by a bee right in my neck. At first it hurt, and then my neck felt cured of its stiffness. It’s funny how the universe works.

COMEDIAN: What do you think about doing Notary work in space?

PAULA: Great, if I get paid for my travel time, assuming I’m not in a time warp.

COMEDIAN: Speaking of time, my time is up. You’ve been a great crowd.

.

You might also like:

Best virtual notary comedy compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17693

Compilation of Notary related sit-com episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

Compilation of posts about Notary & Politics
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20357

Notary Dating & Romance Compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

Share
>

December 27, 2018

Ex-Notary, Ex-Con

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:51 am

An Ex-Notary and an Ex-Con got together to talk about life. The con artist told the Notary about all the nasty things he had done. The Notary told him about all the jobs he had done. They talked for hours. At the end of the conversation, the con artist (who knew something about notary law) told the Notary that many of the jobs the Notary had performed were done illegally.

NOTARY “What do you care about if something is legal?”

CON ARTIST “I may be a con artist, but I have to be an expert at law to avoid getting busted for something. You on the other hand have been breaking the law your entire commission thinking nothing of it and never got caught… ”

NOTARY “Who me? I never did anything illegal.”

CON ARTIST “Your stories indicate that you declined legal transactions which is illegal and accepted illegal transactions simply because you were comfortable doing that. You failed to administer Oaths when required and mailed loose certificates in the mail which is also completely illegal.”

NOTARY: “Nothing I did was illegal.”

CON ARTIST: “I could make a list of incriminating things you have done. Maybe you are the con artist as you are conning the public out of honest and legal Notary service. And now you are trying to con me into thinking you are on the level. You can’t con a con you know. You think that because you were comfortable with particular actions — that made them okay. Not true in the eyes of the law. The law doesn’t care what you are comfortable with.”

NOTARY: “That makes no sense.”

CON ARTIST: “You declined service to Joe who signed his Acknowledgment prior to seeing you. That is fine. The verbiage does not say he is supposed to sign in your presence. It just says he appears before you and acknowledge having signed the instrument.”

NOTARY: “Well, I’m more comfortable if he signs in my presence.”

CON ARTIST: “The legal wording doesn’t mention your comfort level, it just says what the signer has to do. You denied a legal request which is illegal. You are a criminal.”

NOTARY: Me? I thought YOU were the criminal.

CON ARTIST: “I’m honest with myself about what I did with my life. You are not. I am straight with myself and friends about being a con. You are also a con, but in denial.”

NOTARY: “Who me?”

CON ARTIST: “I conned to make a living. You con out of pure stupidity. Time to learn Notary law. Please consult your state Notary handbook. Isn’t it ironic that I care more about the integrity of your job than you do and that I care more about being law abiding than you do?”

NOTARY: “That is because you are smart and don’t want to end up in jail. I know that the only guy who is ever going to bust me for not knowing proper Notary procedure is Jeremy and the worst thing he can do is remove me from his directory.”

CON ARTIST: “Or when he comes to his senses he can report you to your Secretary of State for failing to administer an Oath when required.”

NOTARY: “Yeah, but that was only on a test question, so that doesn’t count.”

CON ARTIST: “Good point. No paper trail. You and I have a lot in common.”

NOTARY: “Yup, except I am an ex-Notary.”

CON ARTIST: “And I am an ex-Con.”

Share
>

December 26, 2018

A dream about a notary bathroom experience

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 10:55 am

Ah, but it was all a dream.

(harp music)

I was driving along and had to go to the dentist. I got my cleaning. Then I needed to use the restroom. The lady up front gave me a huge toothbrush with a key attached to it. I did my business and returned the key.

Then, I went to the NNA to pick up some journals. Since it was hot outside I had to keep drinking water and needed to use the restroom again. I was given a megasized Notary seal with a key attached to it.

Finally, I was on my way home on a long expanse of road. There were no stores for miles. In real life there would be a lot of stores, but this was a dream. Then my car broke down — definitely a dream symbology moment about how my life is going. The only store nearby was an adult toy store. As luck would have it, I needed to use the bathroom. They gave me a huge xyz that was 18 inches long with a key attached to it (perhaps another dream symbol for fertility?) In any case, the tow truck came as I was in the bathroom and I went running out.

The tow truck guy asked, “Is that a plantain in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”

This dream (just a story I made up, this dream never happened) is symbolic of my trip to New Mexico in June. I got dehydrated near Four Corners. It was 96 degrees and 10% humidity. I had just gotten a Navajo taco on a fry bread. I was driving south and my hands started going numb. This has never happened except when I am sleeping. I panicked. I decided the reason for this was too much sitting, and also dehydration in the dryness. So the next day I had coconut water, Gatorade, and lots of water. I pre-hydrated and drank far too much. I needed to go to the bathroom but there were none. There was no place to pull off the road in rural New Mexico. Finally I saw a ranch driveway and pulled over and did my business.

The part of the trip from Phoenix back to Los Angeles was brutal. It was 112, dry as a bone, and the brightness was killing me since I have no sunglasses. Maybe I should buy some. I was getting light headed. After a coconut water I felt a lot better. The minerals in that are magic. I have decided to take some Chinese herbs for circulation because my circulation has been horrible since I quit alcohol. That red wine really cleans up arteries which is why the French live so long.

Sorry for the obscenity in this article, but I thought it was funny. I thought of it as the dental assistant gave me the huge toothbrush bathroom key.

.

You might also like:

Notarization for an exorcism
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20948

Notary sexual harassment issues
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19698

Notary dating & romance posts compilation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17451

Share
>
« Newer PostsOlder Posts »