How can you enjoy Halloween to the fullest this year as a Notary?

1. Scare people by not wearing a mask.

2. Scare people like me by telling me that you don’t take vitamin D — to me that’s even worse than sneezing during a pandemic.

3. Dress up like a Covid virus with the little spikes, etc.

4. Dress up like Fauci. I am more afraid of him than anyone at this point. I start screaming when I see him.

5. Scare people by telling them what their oil bill will be this winter due to Bidenomics, hyperinflation, and his ban on many types of domestic drilling. Trump had a big mouth but we never had trouble like this under his leadership.

6. Tell people that you are not the real Notary, but that you stole someone’s seal and notarized their document with it. (you might get arrested for that one)

7. Tell people that if they are bad, they will be reincarnated into a Notary Signing Agent — oh no, anything but that!

8. Go trick or treating and tell them that you will be hanging around there for a while because your doordash pizza delivery was booked using THEIR address.

9. You could use the new environmentally friendly shaving cream cans to vandalize someone’s property. Once again, you might be arrested for that, and for good reason. On the other hand, if they just ran out of shaving cream, they might appreciate that.

10. Knock on someone’s door with a really scary costume. Then say, “You think this is scary? Not as scary as Kamala’s performance managing the border. Speaking of which, I might be a cartel member who sneaked in, or a Taliban member. They can just waltz on in now.” Then they will say, “Not with that lack of an accent, you don’t scare me.”

11. Knock on someone’s door with a broken border wall, and some kids dressed up like Osama Bin Ladin who jump through the hole in the fence. That will make a statement regardless of which side of the political fence you are on.

12. Dress up like a Notary seal. Make the costume yourself. Just make sure you don’t leak ink, unless that is part of the gag.