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June 17, 2016

Jesus the Notary

A long time ago, there was a Notary born to a virgin mother in a manger in Kern County, CA. His name was Jesus and/or Emanuel, but his Latino friends called him Manuel. Later on, many songs were written about him and there was much rejoicing. However, four out of five dentists surveyed changed his name in the songs from “Emanuel” to “Enamuel.” In any case, this magnificent man did many wonderful deeds for mankind and humanity alike.

He helped a blind musician to see. The musician said, “Thank you Emanuel, now I don’t have to get paid in ones anymore. People kept asking me if I was a stripper and I said — no! If you think I’m a stripper with this body, then I ain’t the only one who’s blind around here!”

He helped a clueless mobile notary to get paid by using to look up signing company reviews. The Notary said, “I’ve been on 123notary for ten years and didn’t realize that feature existed. I should read the blog more often! Thanks Emanuel”

He helped a mobile notary client to walk and the client thanked him. But, the mobile notary who served that client regularly said, “Thanks a lot Emanuel, now I lost a client!”

Later, he went to Lake Mead in Nevada, and walked on water near the Hoover dam. Then he wrote some graffiti on the dam saying, “Jesus was here.” After that he took a long walk in the Mojave Desert and got really thirsty. He had a few bottles of wine in his backpack, but no water. So, he turned wine into water. After all, wine dehydrates.

This holy Notary also preached to the Notary masses and spoke in mystical parables.

1. Notarize unto others as you would have them notarize unto you!

2. Backdate not as it is a sin. And if you feel otherwise, imagine if the universe went backwards for a day every time you did so. If your work is always in order, the universe will always deliver in order for you!

3. The road to heaven is laden with potholes and notary clients who don’t have ID’s. By being prepared for all obstacles, all obstacles will cease to exist. Basically, get a vehicle with good shocks and confirm signings by phone lest you be delayed unnecessarily.

4. If you have a Notary client who has suffered misfortune or is wretched, offer this person Notary work for free, and you shall receive blessings in Notary heaven — yes, the Notary heaven written about in the 123notary blog — the article is fairly accurate based on what we know.

5. What ye seal, ye shall reap. Do good Notary work and there will be no shortage of Notary clients. Do good Notary work regularly and your good fortune will be exponential like the water in the ocean and stars in the sky.

6. If thou art annointed before doing a notarization, wash the oil off otherwise it will get all over the documents.

7. If a signing company is rude to you, turn the other cheek and do not seek revenge. If the signing company is rude, the rudeness remains. If you are rude back, dost the rudeness not multiply?

8. Do not notarize in public, for notarizing in public is what hypocrites do! Do not notarize for man, notarize for God’s divine approval.

9. And remember — the Kingdom of Notary Heaven can be seen within you.

10. There are many mansions in my father’s kingdom, (even a few with olympic sized pools) and they all need refinancing from time to time, so Notaries will never be out of a job in Notary Heaven.

The holy Notary walked around from coast to coast wearing orange robes and speaking in tongues that fascinated many. But, there were many who did not like Jesus. For Jesus spoke out against unrightious signing companies and their hypocritical practices charging $450 and only paying the Notary $50, not to mention often not paying them at all. The son of God publically criticized these immoral and sinful scoundrels publically and was hated for it. Once, he found a Lender doing a signing in a church, and Jesus violently turned over the table and said — not in my father’s house shall you perform a Notary signing!

It all ended, when a particular signing company hired some Attorneys to sue Jesus. The first lawsuit ended with a settlement that Jesus had to wear a crown of thorns with a sign that said, “King of the Notaries”. But, after the second lawsuit, they had Notary Jesus crucified.

He was nailed to a cross. And when he asked for water, they gave him Notary ink to drink. There were two other Notaries on crosses to either side of him. Both were common criminals convicted of backdating and Notary fraud including failure to administer an Oath as well as property embezzlement. His twelve Apostilles were unable to make it to visit him on the cross because it was the end of the month and they were all busy with signings. Several hours later, Jesus died. Later on Jesus rose from the dead and then decided to move onto Notary heaven.

Tragic as it was, many Notaries claim that Notary Jesus died for their Notarial sins, and that all the backdating, name variations they notarized without matching ID, and other crimes against the Secretary of State and society would be forgiven.

To be honest, very few Notaries ever get caught for their misconduct unless it is deliberate fraud with intent to injure or steal property from the signer. So, the forgiveness is more symbolic. But, in any case, to this day, Jesus the Notary lives — in spirit at least in Notary heaven. Just don’t be late on your child support payments if you want admittance to Notary heaven. But, other than that, all you have to do is believe, pray, and don’t sin or break any of the civil code section 2.1 through 5.13 or state law 3.53 through 4.119 pursuant to the Secretary of State’s Notary Handbook in your state. The end!

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Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven

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March 9, 2014 – a dating site for notaries! is a new dating site for notaries. Just sign up and fill out the quick form which asks for you:

age, gender, commission expiration date, state, seal type, border on seal, etc.

Instead of lying about your age, people lie about their expiration date.

If you are in Florida, you can officiate at your own wedding if you find someone you like on…

Popular questions people ask on are:
(1) What’s your sign?
(2) What’s your signing?
(3) Can we go out on a front date in back country or a backdate?
(4) What’s your expiration date?

Talk about low ball signing companies, backdating, getting paid, and more…

Sample Date:
Guy: “It is so nice to get to know you. I never thought I would date a fellow notary.”
Girl: “Neither did I. I guess that it is nice to date within your profession. That way you can understand each other.”
Guy: “It can be a little weird though. My last date checked my ID before we went into the restaurant.”
Girl: “That’s nothing, I did a criminal background check on the last guy I dated. You can never be too careful.”
Guy: “I thought girls liked dating criminals.”
Girl: “Girls are attracted to criminals. But, smart girls are smart enough to realize that attraction doesn’t always lead to a healthy or promising relationship.”
Guy: “Interesting”
Girl: “When I was on one of those other notary dating sites, I would excuse myself by saying, I have to powder my nose. But, since we met on, I’ll just say that I have ti re-ink my seal. I’ll be back in a few minutes!”

(1) Instead of “I have to powder my nose” I have to re-ink my seal…
(2) “Girls are attracted to criminals. But, smart girls are smart enough to realize that attraction doesn’t always lead to a healthy or promising relationship.”
(3) What’s a nice notary doing at a signing like this?

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My date with Jeremy

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A social media site for notaries — Affiant


April 10, 2012

Can a notary sign on a different day?

Can a notary sign on a different day? 

This is a tricky question and a bit vague if you ask me.  The date of a notarization corresponds to the date that the signer signs the notary journal (according to me).  Some signers will sign for an acknowledged signature a minute, day, week, month, year, or decade before the notarization, and that is legal according to California notary law, and probably in most if not all other states.  For Jurats, the signature must be made while personally appearing before a notary public.  Oaths should ideally have an accompanying journal entry, however, there is no signature on a purely oral Oath (BTW… jurats are used with written statements that have an accompanying oath).
So, in all types of notary acts, the signer should ideally sign the notary journal, and the date and time when they sign the journal establishes the notarization date.  Please keep in mind that a signing where the signer signs the document at 11:59pm and signs the notary journal at 12:01am the following day could be dated either day, but I prefer my golden rule of dating the notarization when the journal is signed.
The document date can be the date of the notarization or before, but is generally not after.
The signing date for an acknowledged signature can be the date of the acknowledgment or before, but never after
So, there are three dates that might concern the notary.  It is a crime to backdate a notary certificate, but putting a previous date in the certificate wording. It is also a crime to post date the date in the certificate wording.
So, what does it really mean to ask, “Can a notary sign on a different day?”
If the notarization takes place on Monday, where the signer signs the document by Monday, and signs the journal on Monday, can the notary stamp and seal the certificate wording on Tuesday if the notary has possession of the document?  This is not recommended, and is neglegence. However, if the signing was a late night signing on Monday, and you sign and affix your stamp to the document in your possession early Tuesday morning, that is still unacceptable, but sounds less unreasonable than letting it slide 24 or 48 hours!
So, the official answer to the above question is — NO!  Sign the certificate within a minute or two of when the journal is signed if humanly possible.

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Can you notarize a Birth Certificate?

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