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January 12, 2020

A Starbucks signing with two deaf girls

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:25 am

A Notary wanted to meet clients at Starbucks for a caffeinated signing. I guess the Notary didn’t want to go to their messy home. The Notary showed up early, the signers showed up late, and the signing was uneventful.

But, at the next table over, there were two black girls who were deaf, and a white guy who could “speak” sign language, but could also speak verbally. Girl #1 moved her hands around to express a thought. Girl #2 opened her mouth in shock. The Notary who saw the whole thing asked the speaking guy what deaf girl #1 had just said. The speaking guy translated the sign language used to mean, “Girl, you sign like a white girl.”

Then the Notary asked if there was a black way of signing and the speaking guy shrugged and said he didn’t know, although he found the situation very comical. I bet Oprah would find it interesting too!

JOKE: What language do signings agents speak? Sign language!

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November 15, 2018

The Starbucks Oath Question

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: , — admin @ 10:25 am

I created a quiz question for written quizzes about Starbucks. It is a very interesting and caffeinated question. Here it is…

A Notary goes to a signing.

The Affiant asks for an Oath on a document that is an Affidavit that reads, “I love Starbucks.”

The Notary proceeds to attach a Jurat…
and made a statement that was, “Do you solemnly affirm that you are the one who signed this document and that your name is John Smith?”

What did the Notary do wrong?

COMMON RESPONSES

1. Ask for ID?
Many Notaries feel the Notary should ask for ID. It is true that Notaries are responsible for identifying people. However, that is not central to this question and since the document, certificate, and journal entry have not been completed or stamped, that is irrelevant at this point. Unfortunately, Notaries tend to get sidetracked on irrelevant details that are not central to situations while missing very critical points that can get them in trouble. Talking about ID at this point would be going off on a tangent, especially if that is the only thing you mentioned — although in most states you probably would have to identify the signer.

2. Create a journal entry.
Yes, you should ideally create a journal entry. But, that too is not central to the question at hand.

3. The notary used Acknowledgment wording.
I have never heard of a state that makes you take an Oath while doing an Acknowledgment except perhaps that Massachusetts wants to make sure the signer signed on their own free will and makes them make some sort of statement confirming that fact.

4. Make sure the venue has the correct information.
This document has no venue, and Oaths in all states but Florida (not completely sure about this by the way) do not have certificates. Certificates have venues, but if you don’t have a certificate, you don’t have a venue. Oaths once again typically do not have certificates, and therefore do not have venues.

CORRECT RESPONSE

1. The Notary did three things wrong

(a) The Notary added a Jurat when he was asked for an Oath. Although Jurats have Oaths or Affirmations, Oaths do not have Jurats. Humans have diabetes, but diabetes does not have humans. So, please do not assume that an Oath has a Jurat. An Oath can be done as an independent notary act, and most Notaries don’t know this because they do not read up on Notary tutorials, nor do they ever do Oaths as independent acts. In fact, most Notaries do not do Oaths as part of Jurats either — they just skip over it and assume nobody will notice, or they think that filling out the subscribed and sworn written verbiage is the actual Oath (which is not true because Oaths are verbal by definition.) An Oath is a purely verbal act, however, in Jurats there is a written documentation that accompanies and documents the verbal act.

(b) The Notary gave an Affirmation when he was asked to administer an Oath which is bad for two reasons — one, because the notary did not do what he was asked and, two, because the notary CHOSE the Notary act on behalf of the signer which you are not allowed to do. Only the signer or client can choose the Notary act. So, what the Notary did looks like it is bad service, but also illegal.

(c) The statement the notary made was about the signature and the name of the affiant, but not about the content of the document. The Affiant asked for an Oath on their document, so therefore, the Oath should be made purely on the content of the document.

“Do you solemnly swear that this document is true and correct to the best of your knowledge so help you God?” — would be okay.

“Do you solemnly swear that you love Starbucks? — is paraphrasing and is okay assuming you don’t butcher the statement in any way that detracts from the logic of the statement.

“Do you solemnly swear that you love Starbucks, so help you the Starbucks Goddess.” — if you are politically correct and have multiple choice for what divine entity you want to swear to, you might be able to get away with this one. Read your state notary handbook and see if they allow swearing to the Starbucks Goddess, or as I call her — The Goddess of Caffeine.

“Please raise your right espresso…” (fill in the rest according to your imagination.)

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You might also like:

Notary Starbucks – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18926

The Starbucks Signing in the 30 point course
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14291

Airplane meals versus Notary Oaths & Affirmations
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19549

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January 20, 2017

Notary Starbucks – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra

Filed under: General Stories,Popular on Twitter — Tags: , — admin @ 12:42 am

Welcome to Notary Starbucks where Notaries go to meet clients, get caffeinated, and blend with others. When the check comes, they get to do the signing for a change. Choose from a wide selection of Notarial coffees and snacks. Additionally, this is the only type of Starbucks where tables have separate mini-wings that open up on the sides of tables to accommodate drinks, so they won’t spill on your documents if you tip them over! Better yet, you get to use the new Starbucks Notary App that gets your waiting time paid in advance! At regular Starbucks, you see writers with their laptops writing screenplays about superheroes that never sell. At Notary Starbucks, they write screenplays about notaries that never get paid.

We offer a Notary cake that is rectangular and has an imprint of a Notary Seal in the middle. Just don’t eat the cake after the expiration date imprinted in it! Try the molten Notary cake too. It has chocolate Notary seal ink in the middle! Below is a list of our coffee blend selections.

Antigua Affidavit Blend

Conforming Columbian Dark Roast

Arabian Acknowledgment

Subscribing Sumatra

Sulawesi Signature Whole Bean

Interest Only Italian Blend (Light Roast)

All strong enough to keep you awake while waiting for your client who’s had too much java to provide a signature that isn’t too shaky from all that caffeine.

But, Notaries don’t only go to their local Notary Starbucks to enjoy snacks, they meet their best clients there. They even had a new Starbucks App that would penalize clients from coming late to appointments where they would meet at Starbucks.

CLIENT: I’m almost there, but running late

NOTARY : No problem, you prepaid $25 waiting fee. You’re only halfway through that.

CLIENT: I thought that was the Notary fee.

NOTARY: Nope? My last client kept me waiting here for 30 minutes only to stand me up. That’s why I use “The Waiting App.” It’s $10 per signature, plus $10 travel fee for me to come here from home not to mention waiting time. You’re out $12.50 for keeping me waiting.

CLIENT: But, you didn’t do anything!

NOTARY: I wouldn’t call waiting for you not doing anything. Waiting for paint to dry – maybe. I came when I had other offers, and I sat here drinking Burundi Buydown with cream and sugar — too much sugar, I’ll never make that mistake again. This is time out of my day. You think I work for free?

CLIENT: But, you’re not working?

NOTARY: If I spent the entire day at Starbucks, “Not Working” I wouldn’t be able to afford my Murundi Mortgage, or my real Mortgage for that matter. I get paid for doing signatures, and if those people don’t want to show — they pay for my opportunity cost that I spent waiting — and sipping.

CLIENT: Sipping. You lazy bum. Don’t you have anything better to do?

NOTARY: As a matter of fact, I got an offer for an $80 signing while I was waiting for a late client. I turned him down since I got a down payment via the Starbucks Notary App.

CLIENT: Why of all the low-down.

NOTARY: Hey, you’re the one who can’t show up on time, not me buddy. Blame yourself.

CLIENT: I’ve decided not to come. I don’t like your attitude.

NOTARY: Great, I’ll call the $80 guy back. It’s only been two minutes. I’ll tell him I’ll be there in another two. Or have him meet me for a FHA French Roast right here at Notary Starbucks. In the meantime, I’m sort of trying to win the affection of a female Notary sitting next to me. Thanks a latte.

CLIENT: Fine — Bum!!!!

LADY NOTARY: I’m enjoying this Interest Only Italian Blend. They claim that if you drink it, you will enhance the interest of Notaries of the opposite sex.

NOTARY: It’s working. But, I have to go. The $80 guy wants me to show up at his house in 10 minutes. Send me a text. But, do you think I’ll get in trouble with the police?

LADY NOTARY: Why? For driving under the influence of that Subscribing Sumatra Frapaccino you had an hour ago? The high on that lasts for four hours. You might be driving all jerky, or irratically smash your seal into the document at your signing.

NOTARY: Nah, I’ll be fine.

LADY NOTARY: Oh yeah? Well, how many fingers am I holding up?

NOTARY: I can’t tell. Your fingers are shaking so much. It might be easier to meet ladies at a Notary bar rather than here. Everybody’s so jumpy and over caffeinated.

LADY NOTARY: Ya think? I’m not that bad compared to the lady who started out sipping sumatra which is a gateway coffee drink and then moved up to the crackaccino!

NOTARY: Good point. Gotta go! $80 is calling my name. Anyway, later. I’ve gotta Java now if you know what I mean!

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You might also like:

The Starbucks Signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14291

The Starbucks Notary wises up
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4207

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February 22, 2015

Point (3) RTC (4) Closing Disclosure; Story: The Starbucks Signing

The Starbucks Signing
Marcy hadn’t completed her certification test yet. After all, why should she. A little test couldn’t be that important, right? But, she was anxious to get started. She completed her notes section on her 123notary profile. She wrote:

I am reliable, prompt, punctual and professional. Call me for any mobile notary job!

She got her first call a few days after signing up. She answered the phone as her infant was screaming. The screaming was so loud that the person on the other end of the line couldn’t hear what she was talking about. The client decided that Marcy wasn’t very professional.

Then, another call came in. She answered it and got the job. She was to notarize a Grant Deed. She had never seen a Grant Deed, but how hard could it be to notarize. She knew how to fill in an Acknowledgment form. Her baby started screaming right when she was leaving. She left the baby with her husband and went out to do her job. She arrived 20 minutes late as a result of her baby having a fit. The customer said, “Your profile claims that you are punctual, but you are 20 minutes late!” Marcy said, “But, I am punctual, it was just this one time!”

Then a third call came in. They needed a loan signing done. Their house was under repair, so they agreed to meet at a local Starbucks. Marcy’s husband wasn’t around, so she decided to take her baby with her. Luckily for her, the signers loved children, particularly infants. The signing started off okay. Marcy had received a FedEx package of the documents. Everything was in order. She put the documents on the table, and kept the borrower copies in the FedEx. She didn’t know how to introduce the documents because she had never studied loan signing. Her course book was sitting on her desk collecting dust. She would soon learn that book knowledge would help her out of a very serious bind that was about to happen. Ooops!

The couple was signing away, when the toddler spilled Marcy’s mocha all over the Right to Cancel. All Marcy could say was, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Marcy decided she had the Right to Cancel and obligation to cancel the appointment and have them start all over another day with another notary. She went home feeling mortified and devastated. But, she didn’t have to. Marcy made several simple mistakes. What were they?

(1) No drinks on the table. Drinks spill all the time. If you have drinks on the same table as documents, you are going to have a problem, it is just a matter of time. Drinks go on a separate table or a chair as a matter of policy. If Marcy had obeyed this signing policy, she would not have gotten in trouble.

(2) Don’t bring your three year old to a signing no matter what. It is not reliable or professional to do so, not to mention the trouble they could cause.

(3) The Right to Cancel was damaged, but there was a borrower’s copy of that document in the FedEx which Marcy could have used to substitute for the damaged one. An easy fix to a common problem. It is also common that borrowers sign in the wrong place on the Right to Cancel. You need to swap that document out if that happens as well.

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Point (3) The Right to Cancel

The Right to Cancel (Right to Rescission) gives the borrower in a non-commercial / non-investment refinance three calendar days not including Sundays or Federal holidays to read over the documents and consider their options. If borrowers want to spend three hours reading every page of the document, the Notary is encouraged to inform them that this is a signing appointment, and that they can review their borrower copies over the next three days and cancel within that time period if they have any dissatisfaction with the documents.

Dating: (Chaperone Not Included)
In addition to having the borrowers sign this document, it is often the Notary’s responsibility to make sure it is dated correctly. On the top of the document there should be a section that reads: “The date of the transaction, which is ____________________”. This is where the Signing Agent places the current date; this is known as the “transaction date”. Towards the bottom of the document it states: “no later than midnight of________.” This date is called the “rescission date”, and it states when the Right to Cancel period is finished. In this blank you would write the last day for the borrower to cancel, which is three days past the current date (excluding Sunday and major holidays). If it is Saturday the 20th, and Monday is a holiday, the last day to cancel would be Thursday the 25th.

What if the lender dated the document incorrectly? Cross out the incorrect date, write the new date, and have the borrower(s) initial the change. Never use white-out.

What if the transaction date is correct, but the lender is giving them too many days to cancel? Sometimes lenders are generous and give one or two extra days. Don’t correct that because it’s not an error; it is an act of generosity.

If the borrower carelessly signs where it says, “I wish to cancel”, the best way to remedy this situation is by using the borrower’s copy of the document (by the way, this question is on the exam); doing this will save everyone a great deal of trouble. If that is not possible, cross out the signature and have the borrower initial it. Then have them sign in the correct location.

Cancellation by Fax. The borrower always may cancel their loan by fax with all lenders by law within the (3) day right to cancel period.

Here is a list of all Federal holidays:

New Year’s Day
Martin Luther King Day
Washington’s birthday AKA and observed on Presidents day
Memorial Day
Independence Day
Labor Day
Columbus Day
Veteran’s Day
Thanksgiving Day ( the Friday after is a regular day unless the lender states otherwise )
Christmas Day

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Point (4) The Closing Disclosure (formerly The Truth in Lending)

The Truth in Lending is now antiquated.

Notaries have become moderately familiar with the new Closing Disclosure. I want to stress some important points about this document that you should memorize.

1. The Closing Estimate
Previously there was a document called the Good Faith Estimate whose current replacement would be the Closing Estimate. Although these two documents are not even close to being identical, they go over the estimated costs of the loan among other information.

2. The Truth in Lending
This is now an antiquated document. The Truth in Lending had some bizarre and unhelpful verbiage about the prepayment penalty. It said you, “will, won’t or may” have a prepayment penalty. The Closing Disclosure states if you will or won’t but omits the ambiguous word, “may” from the document.

3. The APR
In addition to going over the APR, there will be a new figure discussed on the Closing disclosure called the TIP which is the total interest percentage.

4. Taxes, Insurance, Escrow Fees
Estimated escrow costs, insurance, taxes, servicing, assumption, and appraisal costs will also be covered in this new and exciting document.

5. The property address
Many loan signing courses claim you should look for the property address on the Deed of Trust or Mortgage. You can, but it is also on the Closing Disclosure on the upper left corner.

6. The Loan Amount & Rate
This is also covered on the upper half of page one.

7. Fees associated with the loan
The Closing Disclosure replaces the TIL and the HUD-1 Settlement Statement. So, items from the Settlement Statement such as fees or costs associated with the loan will be covered on this document.

8. Calculating Cash to Close
This is a very practical section that covers total closing costs, closing costs financeed, down payment, deposit, funds for borrower, seller credits, and adjustments. The bottom line in this section is the cash to close total amount.

9. Summary of Transactions
The sale price of the property, closing costs, HOA dues, deposits, loan amount, sellers credit, rebates, and local taxes are all part of the accounting spreadsheet in this section.

10. The additional information section about the loan
This section covers other specifications about the loan such as whether or not assumption is allowed, if there is a demand feature, negative amortization, late payments, partial payments, escrow accounts, and more…

11. Next, there is a basic loan calculation similar to what the TIL had with the total payments, finance charge, amount financed, APR, and the new figure which is the TIP.

12. There is a section listing other disclosures which will list the appraisal, contract details, liability after foreclosure (keeping it positive), refinance, and tax deductions.

13. And last there is contact information of the Lender, the Real Estate Brokers, and the Settlement Agents.

Sign below.

——————————————— ———-
Applicant Signature Date

Eventually I will create some test questions out of this material. I already have one, but I will derive some others as well.

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You might also like:

30 Point Course Table of Contents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14233

30 Point Course (5-7) HUD, Occupancy Affidavit & Deeds
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14546

The Right to Cancel done Wrong!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10001

Notary information for beginners: Best Posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10472

How do you explain the APR to a non-borrowing spouse?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4455

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January 3, 2011

The Starbucks notary wises up!

Our notary got stood up at Starbucks the other day, and did what Bostonians call “wising up”. The next night, our notary friend was too tired to travel, unless the price was right. But, he got a call.

9pm… ring ring.
Notary service

Hi, my name is Jim, are you a “notary republic?”
A republic is a country. I am not a country, I am a notary, and I am open to the public — and the public is you
Oh… (long pause). Can you notarize a document?
Yes, that is what I do.
I don’t want to pay a travel fee.
No problem. Meet me at my local Starbucks. Can you come right now?
Sure… Where are you?

I’m in Glendale, how far are you from Glendale?
About 20 minutes.

Great, meet me at 9:20… I can’t schedule after that in case I get a paying job with a travel fee. If I schedule later than that, I might have to give up a $100 job in order to accomodate your $10 job. Understand?
Sure, I guess.

9:15… ring ring
Notary: Hi Jim
Customer: It is not Jim, I am Samuel. We need a notary tonight in Burbank. We are going on a trip and need travel documents. We can pay you $100 travel fee if you can do two signatures included.

Notary: Speak of the devil, I just told my last client that I might get a $100 job tonight. It is the power of positive thinking. Tomorrow night I am going to tell everyone that I might get a $200 job.
Customer: Why stop at $200 — go for $300, just as long as I am not paying!

Notary: So, when do you need service by?
Customer: We are leaving at 11pm, so get over here as soon as you can.
Notary: I have a 9:20pm appointment at Starbucks. If he doesn’t show up on time, I’ll just come on over and should be there before 10pm. If he shows up, I’ll tell him that his appointment is 10 minutes and that I have to run, in which case I’ll be there around 10pm.
Customer: Super.

So, the Starbucks notary meanders down to his favorite hang out spot — Starbucks — of course — isn’t it all of our favorites?
He waits until 9:20pm and then gives three minutes grace period just in case Jim didn’t synchronize his watch to nuclear time. At 9:23 Starbucks notary leaves just as he sees a nervous guy who lacked confidence driving up. Starbucks notary thought — I don’t have time for this, the guy didn’t even call to let me know he was close. So, our notary friend drives off to Burbank. Meanwhile keeping the phone by his side, he anxiously waits for his #1 client to call him and wonder where he was. But, the phone didn’t ring.

At 9:34 our speedy notary arrives at the destination at Burbank, CA. He notary bag by his side, he energetically prances towards the front door. Samual greets him with his document all ready, and five crisp new twenty dollar bills eagerly waiting to be received by our notary friend. The notary checks their identification, takes paw prints, notarizes their signatures, collected his money, and by 9:41 is ready to leave with his wallet fat with cash and then…

ring ring…
Ummm. this is Jim… didn’t we have an appointment at Starbucks?
Notary: Yes Jim, We had a 9:20 appointment and I was at Starbucks waiting for you, but you didn’t show up. I had a conflicting appointment. If I had waited for you, I would have missed my other appointment — and they were ready to go — and not late like you.

Oh… I didn’t realize I was late. I showed up at 9:24.
Notary: You didn’t confirm that you were nearby, and I had to go. But, on a brighter note, I am coming back, and I can meet you at Starbucks in about nine minutes.
Jim: I don’t think I like how this arrangement is going
Notary: Well, I am the one who kept my end of the bargain at the risk of losing a much more lucrative job. You were the one who would have made me late. Maybe it is I who should be the one who doesn’t like the arrangement — hmmm?
Jim: Never mind, I’ll just go home and get it notarized tomorrow by another “noterizer”. Good bye!
Notary: Well, you got a free travel fee out of me. I traveled from my house to Starbucks. My fee is $10 travel fee. You can mail me a check for my trouble.
Jim: No way… besides, I’m the one who did most of the driving… see-ya.

Tweets:
(1) A client wanted to save $ & agreed to meet the notary at Starbucks, but kept the notary waiting for 45 minutes.
(2) The notary waited until 9:20 for his $10 client to show, then had to run to a $100 paying gig!
(3) When you wait for a client to show up who’s late, ur held hostage w/o waiting fees or travel fees.
(4) If customers come 2u, let’em know if they don’t show up on time, they’ll only have 3 minutes grace period.

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May 1, 2020

What are dangerous places for a Notary to be?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 8:25 am

Female Notaries think a lot more about safety than males do. But, even big strong guys can get into danger. If someone is crazy, they might attack anyone, even a big strong guy with a military background.

People’s houses at night.
Going to people’s houses sounds scary. But, in real life, if they have been screened for a Mortgage, they do not stand much of a chance of being dangerous, at least in my experience. However, their neighborhood might not be good at night.

On the other hand, going to a house for a single document might be dangerous. You don’t know who these people are, they have not been screened, and you might be going there at night.

Realistically, the danger is more than you will get into a car accident or bitten by a dog than have an incident with a crazy human being. In my twenty years in this industry I have heard of one Notary getting pushed down some stairs. That is out of 60,000 Notaries on hundreds of millions of assignments.

You might be okay at the house but run into gangs at the local gas station – it happened to me, and we covered it. I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two.

You might be at a tenement building and some rowdy intoxicated people might be outside. I have heard of this happening once in The Bronx. You could also get harassed by hoodlums on your way back to your car. It might be time to have the appointment at a Starbucks in a better neighborhood. But, it’s up to you.

Nursing homes
If you notarize at nursing homes, your chance of ending up in court is high. That is another type of danger.

Cafes
Some Notaries might notarize at a cafe late at night. Our local taco place is notorious for having crazy people, arguments, and police. The problem is that the police don’t seem to be there at the same time as the crazy people. Just because you are at a “safe” neutral location doesn’t mean a meth addict won’t walk in and start trouble. Being afraid of your clients is a legitimate fear, but the real danger is more likely from a drug addict, bad driver, or inclement weather.

Jails
Many Notaries are afraid to notarize at a jail. That is the safest place to notarize because the bad guys are on the OTHER side of the bars and there is tight security and check points.

The Street
If you notarize on your trunk on the street, you could get hit by a car. I had to park illegally and made the signer come out to sign on my trunk. They complained. I said that this is the only way I could do it otherwise I would have to leave as there was no place to park.

General Tips
It is generally a good idea to be aware of high risk individuals. Those who seem intoxicated or who are acting unusually. People might seem agitated, angry, or afraid for example. Additionally, people might get upset if you refuse to do an illegal notarization and that could trigger a situation. Other people might get upset that their rate is higher than expected. You need to know what to say and how to handle these types of situations. Personally, I have been to about 6000 total signings two thirds of which were loans. I have never been in a dangerous situation. The only disconcerting situations I have had involved animals and gang bangers who were “around” when I went to bad areas to do signings. But, these dogs and gangsters didn’t actually actively do anything to threaten me — I just felt threatened by their presence. Maybe I am worried about nothing. Maybe I overreact to certain things because I am not from that type of neighborhood and because I don’t like dogs.

As a rule, use your senses, and if you feel something is not right, step out. Also, make sure you know your escape route, because there is a small possibility you might need to use it.

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March 13, 2020

Meeting a client at a taco place because it is “safer”

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:18 am

Many Notaries are afraid to go to bad neighborhoods or decrepit homes and choose to meet clients at a Starbucks because it is safer. But, in this example, the nearest place is a taco place. Is it really safer?

If you go to someone’s home for a notary job, we have only one story about a Notary getting hurt due to violence from a borrower. We have another story about someone pulling a gun, but that was because a crazy dog was running around the neighborhood. There is a chance you might get a disease if the house is filthy and has mold. There is a chance you might be harassed by dogs. But, the chance of physical violence from a signer is about one in 50,000,000.

Our local taco place has many antagonistic people. Arguments happen regularly. The manager is a jerk and his assistant is a very rude young lady. I once had to call the police on a meth addict who was bothering me and then got in his car. But, he went out of his parking spot and back in and then out and back in. The police refused to come and that guy probably got in an accident after that taco meal because he was out of control and very intoxicated.

You are not necessarily safe in a public cafe. Crazy people and homeless people can go in and out of the door. There is no security. There is no lock on the door. At a signer’s house, nobody else can get in, and they are not likely to hurt you.

Just an FYI. Use your judgement. On a brighter note, Starbucks seems to be well run across the board and I have not had any bad luck at any of their branches other than when I got the palpatino grande and I’ll leave it to your imagination what the consequences of that were.

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January 24, 2020

What hobbies could a mobile notary have?

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:52 am

Most Notaries work a lot, or complain that they don’t get enough work.
But, if they had time for hobbies, what would they do?

1. Finding new mechanics
Being a mobile notary puts a lot of wear and tear on your car. Trying out new mechanics for fun seems like a great past time for Notaries.

2. Eating on the road.
If you like to try out new restaurants and cafes, being a mobile notary puts you in lots of different neighborhoods. Starbucks has some new sandwiches that I just tried with arugula which were not bad.

3. Reading blogs
If you want to be a better notary, read blogs, take notary courses, and know your stuff. You can join forums too and chat not to mention Facebook groups.

4. Editing your profile on 123notary
Sounds like a lot of fun, but your # of loans signed goes up daily, but do you edit it daily? Change it from 87 to 89 please — let’s stay current.

5. Reading articles on your iPhone
Between signings you have free time. Check out your stock values on your iPhone and read a few articles too. See what Xi Jin-Ping and Kim Jong-Un are up to. Maybe they will invite Trump for some kimchee or kung pao – you never know!

6. Notary Monopoly
Notary monopoly is a little different. Instead of buying properties, you buy relationships with signing companies. Some are high paying and others require fax backs and take three months to pay. If you backdate, you might get the “go to jail” card. Lots of fun for mobile notaries.

7. Cooking dishes that can be interrupted.
There is a special cook book filled with dishes that you can abandon in the middle of cooking them when you get that call for a last minute signing. This is the only way to go because you never know when you will get that call.

8. Having a “stamp” collection
But, what type of stamps are we talking about? Can you buy them on eBay?

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December 31, 2019

The Loan Ranger

Filed under: Sit-Coms — admin @ 11:03 pm

The Loan Ranger and Tonto ride in after a long morning chasing bandits, only to discover that there is a problem at Johnny’s signing.

JOHNNY (THE NOTARY): There’s a problem at the signing!

TONTO: What type of problem kimosave.

JOHNNY: The interest rate is too high.

TONTO: That is none of your business. Refer them to their lender. Now, Loan Ranger and I need to ride off into the sunset. Ooops, forgot that daylight sayings doesn’t start until next week — we ride off into non-sunset!

—————–

SALLY: The ID doesn’t match the signature, what will I do?

LOAN RANGER: No problem kimosave… Hey, he got me started on that — it’s an Indian thing. Okay, just ask for another ID. If they don’t have one, then call in. This is a problem for the Lender and not us. Now, we ride into the day.

SALLY: Wouldn’t it be more romantic to ride off into the sunset.

LOAN RANGER: Yes, but that would mean waiting around for three hours and fifteen minutes and neither one of us has time for that unless we took a really long break at Starbucks.

SALLY: Good Point.

———————

GARY: Hey, the signing company won’t pay me.

TONTO: Use letter from hell from 123notary reference page. Ain’t nobody — does it betta!

GARY: Thanks Chaka-Tonto

TONTO: You are welcome kimosave — and remember — Through the fire, through whatever, come what may… for a chance at loving you…

GARY: Do you know the dance moves too?

TONTO: In my tribe we have our own dance moves when we dance to Chaka Khan with many feathers and chanting.

GARY: Gee — I wish I could be an Injin.

TONTO: You watch film — Boys on the Rez — you learn real story. Spend time on rez — get real picture.

GARY: Oh, you mean poverty, fry bread and green chili?

LOAN RANGER: It is more than that. They have stories that they use to teach their children how to cope with life.

GARY: I like stories, especially with green chili. What if you meet a girl you like, what do you say?

TONTO: My teepee or yours! Just kidding. Now we go kimosave!

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December 24, 2019

Notary IQ Test: 123notary is to Snapdocs what…

Here is yet another Notary IQ test to test your Notary knowledge and thinking skills.

1. A Jurat is a Notary act that:
a. Has to be sworn to.
b. Has to be signed in front of the notary and sworn/affirmed to as opposed to an Acknowledgment which doesn’t have to be signed in front of the notary.
c. Has to be affirmed to. It is bad to ask people to swear as that might offend certain people.
d. Requires a Jurat certificate and an Oath or Affirmation.

2. Acknowledgment is to Jurat what:
a. A pre-fab home is — to a home that is built on site.
b. A chicken that has an egg inside it and then lays it — to a stork that brings your baby.
c. An Oath — to an Affirmation
d. A venue — to a certificate.

3. An Oath is to an Affirmation what:
a. Traditional is to politically correct.
b. God is to your personal honor
c. A New Yorker says in traffic to what a Millennial in California says at a formal appointment of office.
d. Choosing God to Choosing your diety of choice (pick option 4 for Lord Krishna).

4. A Mobile Notary is one that
a. Lives in Mobile Alabama
b. Used to live in Mobile Alabama
c. Travels to jobs
d. Charges a travel fee.
e. Prefers to book jobs at Starbucks… his “office” so he can have mocha-java while waiting for clients to show up. Sounds like the modern day Fonz having an “office.”

5. 123notary is to Snapdocs what
a. Source of information about real Notaries — to source of information about sad excuse for Notaries.
b. Directory is to Portal
c. Old school vs. High Tech
d. Public reviews vs. Thumbs up or thumbs down.
BTW, I just had a glass of 14 hands Merlot at a restaurant. The waiter asked me how I liked it and I said, “14 thumbs up, but not necessarily from the same seven hands.”

6. NNA is to 123notary what
a. One stop shopping is to advertising and signing agent training
b. Conferences are to blog articles and phone sessions with Carmen
c. A good source for ammunition is to a good source of higher paying Notary leads. (or am I confusing them with the NRA? — sorry, old joke.)
d. A big company where you don’t get to know the staff personally vs. a small company where everybody knows Jeremy & Carmen, but not Raymond.

7. The additional / optional information section on an Acknowledgment is critical because
a. It is good to show you are thorough
b. Jeremy says so
c. You can identify the document in multiple facets on the certificate so that it would be obvious if the certificate were swapped out to a different document.
4. To prevent someone from using the certificate on another document.

8. The most effective use of an embosser would be
a. To create a raised impression on all pages of every document you notarized to detect page swapping after the fact. Also, to prevent page swapping onto other documents that were not notarized by you.
b. To create a really large Oreo cookie.
c. To look hype when you arrive at a notary appointment — check out my embosser yo! Stainless!
d. You could use it as a weapon in case the signer tries to attack you — hey, it happens.

That is all for today students. I hope you enjoy our quiz. You can discuss potential answers in the comments or read Notary Public 101 to learn how I would answer some of these.

You might also like:

Testing Carmen on a bridge in 2003
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21264

The lady who studied 30 hours for her elite test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21238

Notary Aptitude Test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15853

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