You searched for gender - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

August 14, 2019

Millennial Notaries and gender roles

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 11:33 pm

It has come to my attention that many of the millennial Notaries are confused about gender roles.

We had a male Notary who did not want to lead at a signing. He claimed that leading might cause offense to the others because they might consider the signing to be part of the male patriarchy. However, the signers felt differently. They did not know what to do, and the Notary did not help. So, they called the signing company and the Notary got fired.

Another Notary did not want to talk to the wife at the signing for fear that he might come across as male chauvinist. During the whole signing, the husband and wife kept looking at each other giving each other weird looks. They did not know what to think.

A third Millennial Notary did a signing at Starbucks. The signer asked the lady next to him what time it was and proceeded to make small talk. The Notary said, “Not cool,” because many Millennials think it is not cool (and scary) to approach women. Kind of reminds you of the Gillette commercial for Millennials. But, such a situation happened to me at a bar, where the male millennial staff member got all afraid because I wanted to ask one of the Chinese girls if she preferred effeminate guys to masculine guys. In China, masculinity is out, and guys who act like girls are in. Good thing I speak English like a guy, but speak Chinese like a girl!

My question to millennials is:
If men stop approaching women (and many have due to getting shot down) then how will people date, get married or reproduce? I think that the millennial brain is too small to think that far in advance. Additionally, if a man is not masculine (in more than just “for show” ways) then how will he provide for and protect his family? 33% of millennials live with mommy and daddy. Not very macho if you ask me. Glad my family kicked me out of the house when I finished college otherwise I would have ended up an adult baby like them. Good God!

If gender roles are flexible, then just have your husband get pregnant for you half the time and have him breast feed the baby. After that, I’m sure his male genes will be equally suited to parenting a two, three and four year old child while the female bread winner goes out and makes money. Only 10% of wives make more than their husbands. Gender reversal is the standard way of thought for millennials, but biology dictates that the results of such an action would be far less than optimal or impossible. I guess the political pressure on people stops them from thinking coherently. But, I know how to think.

Newsflash — men and women are not the same. When men go out, they get approached by women roughly 10% of the time. It happens but is rare. When you go out on a date, the man normally pays. When you have a family, the women normally depends financially on the man, especially when she is pregnant or has an infant. So, it looks like men are doing 90% of the hunting people down and providing and women are doing the child rearing, even in these politically correct times. Correct me if I am wrong, that the brainwashing has changed its message, but biology is still consistent with our ancestors in Africa 200,000 years ago. Hmm, do you think my African ancestors had rhythm?

You might also like:

A Millennial self-identifies as being a notary public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22269

The ADD culture and marketing your notary listing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22309

X is now a gender as well as a generation
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22177

Share
>

May 26, 2019

X is now a gender and not a generation

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:55 am

The NNA wrote in their blog (and I think this is bad advice by the way) that you should not fill in the he/she/they in California if the gender on the ID says “x”. However, the whole point of the he/she/they is to deter fraud, so by not filling it in, you are inviting fraud (but, without the RSVP card). You no longer know if the person is singular or plural, x-etera. And then asking people to sign next to the “x” presents some other sensitivity issues now doesn’t it. On the other hand, what might make sense is to put in handwriting at the bottom of the acknowledgment that this is a notarization for a single person of gender neutral (or unknown gender) association. That way you have documented the gender and quantity of people. Or, the state could come up with a form that says he/she/x/they which in today’s times makes a lot more “xense.”

When I was growing up there was generation x. Now there is gender-ation x. Boy have things changed. I never thought I would live to see this day. And I have no say in the matter. By the way, I self-identify as being a South African Bushman — is there a spot on the form for that?

It would not surprise me if some millennial came up to one of these transgender people and said, “I self-identify as being a Notary Public.” Do you have a commission? What’s that?

We can change our appearance, but can we change our chromosomes?

You might also like:

Millennial Notaries and gender rules
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

The Notary apologizing game
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22576

Demographics and who is reading my blog
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22231

Share
>

January 26, 2018

The new acknowledgment form for transgender people

Filed under: Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (very) — admin @ 11:28 am

With all of this politically correct nonsense going on, there will soon be an official change to Notary paperwork so that the LGBT community’s needs will be represented. The current form (I made this up) says:

On (date), before me (name of notary) personally appeared (name of signer) who proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person who’s name is subscribed in the within instrument, and acknowledged to me that he/she/they executed the same in their his/her/their authorized capacity(ies), and by his/her/their seal on the instrument, the person(s) acted and executed the instrument.

But, as of January 1st, 2019, the new form will read.

On (date), before me (name of Notary) personally appeared (name of signer) who proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person who’s name is subscribed in the within instrument and acknowledged to me that

(he/she/he who used to be a she/she who used to be a he/he who dresses like a she/she who dresses like a he/T/they)
executed the same in his/her/it’s complicated/their authorized capacity(ies), and by his/her/unclear/it’s/their seal on the instrument, the person(s) acted and executed the instrument.

Additional information
The signer’s “assigned” gender is male/female
The signer’s “current” gender is male/female/ambiguous/depends on how long the line is to the bathroom
The gender indicated on the identification is male/female
The sex change or change in dress happened before/after when the ID was issued.

On a brighter note, I had lamb with shishito peppers. I asked the waitress if shishitos had genders. The male could be a he-shito, and the female a she-shito. She said it didn’t work like that. I told her that was for the best, because what if we got a transgender-shito? That would be confusing.

.

You might also like:

Who does what in an Acknowledgment?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20108

Millennial Notaries and gender roles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

Share
>

December 6, 2019

1st Notary in Space

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 7:04 am

In honor of the anniversary of the 50th moon landing. NASA finally decided to send a Notary into space. They decided that Notaries had been underrepresented in space travel for too long, and something needed to change. However, the Notaries had conditions. Underneath where the American flag is on the shuttle, they wanted a flag of a fictional Notary country that they were going to set up in outer space.

The space ship was set to go to the moon in honor of Apollo 11 and Neil Armstrong. The passengers on the spaceship included three professional astronauts, one of which was a lesbian transgender black lactose intolerant Puerto Rican woman, and two white males, and a Notary. But, the flight had to be delayed because the lady was transitioning into being Cuban, or at least self-identifying as being Cuban, but not Mark Cuban, although she was living as a man (whatever
that means.) When asked if she wanted a Cuban cigar she said, “Sorry, I don’t self-identify as a communist.” Then she was asked, “Does living as a man mean that you will support a wife and kids?” to which she/he replied, “No, it means I’ll be leaving them!”

Then there was another issue, because the Notary wanted to bring his embosser, seal, journal and acknowledgment / jurat pads just in case he could notarize moon creatures on the dark side of the moon. He also studied up on his Chinese since he heard there were Chinese people landing there regularly that U.S. news suppressed for unknown reasons. The scientists controlling the flight complained that all of the Notary equipment was weighing down the craft and would cost another three million in fuel costs. But, the government decided it would be worth it so that moon creatures could sign the Notary journal.

So, finally the spacecraft took off. It took longer than expected because they were listening to Frank Sinatra’s song “Fly me to the moon.” A few days later they landed. The Notary complained that he had jet lag. The crew said, “You’re crazy, it’s not called jet lag, it’s called rocket lag, dummy!” The crew was expecting to see Sun Myung Moon but was disappointed to learn that he was Korean, and not Chinese, and therefore would probably not be on the moon despite his name.

NOTARY: If I pull down my pants here, and stick my rear end towards you, would that be mooning you or earthing you considering our location?

CREW: We’ll have to call Houston to resolve that issue. And in that case, Houston will agree that there is a problem.

HOUSTON: Yes, Notary, the correct terminology at your coordinates would indeed be earthing someone.

CREW: What on earth?

HOUSTON: Reminder — you are NOT on earth, and if you pull your pants down, you will lose the oxygen in your suit and die, so please refrain from earthing anyone.

NOTARY: I just want to jump for joy, but I’m afraid I might end up thirty feet in the air. Did the Chinese bring moon cakes here?

CHUNG: Welcome to the dark side of the moon, would you like to try a moon cake?

NOTARY: Actually, I’d prefer an earth cake.

CHUNG: Is that for here or to go?

NOTARY: We could either eat it here or in the ship. Does that come with a fortune cookie?

CHUNG: Yeah. The fortune is that you will weigh 17% of what you normally weigh.

CREW: Hey, the sum of the parts of crater than the sum of the hole.

NOTARY: Hmm, but what if you have a crater within a crater?

CHUNG: You mean like at crater and barrel?

NOTARY: And if you have sex on the moon, you would be getting your moon rocks off.

CHUNG: We are prudes and don’t do that here. Besides, we don’t have oxygen to waste on unnecessary things.

NOTARY: Well anyway — That’s one small stamp for a Notary; One huge stamp for mankind.

CREW: Well said. Now let’s take photos and post them on Instagram. Can you do a selfie with me? What’s that thing behind me?

CHUNG: Oh, he’s an underground moon creature. He won’t hurt you. But, he might want part of the fortune cookie!

You might also like:

In space – nobody can hear you sign
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18920

A Notary sees a UFO
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19929

Share
>

November 21, 2019

Should you meet a Notary at a coffee place?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 5:51 am

Coffee places are a nice place to meet for a variety of reasons. You can meet friends, have a first date, a last date, or just hang out by yourself and browse your iPad while drinking frappachinos. Here are some reasons why coffee places are nice:

1. They are easy to find compared to finding the address of a residence in the dark.
2. They have easy parking normally
3. It is a comfortable atmosphere to talk to people or even sign papers.
4. They have really good espresso although I have mixed opinions about the biscottis.

Coffee places also offer neutrality. No, not gender neutrality (I think I’ve beaten that horse to death.) But, you can feel safe there as opposed to going to someone’s house at night. After all, what if they are in a bad neighborhood, or what if you are some paranoid woman who is afraid to go to someone’s house?

Also, if you have to wait for the other person to show up, a coffee house is a nice place to wait around. After all, you can have a latte while you waitte. I think I spelled wait wrong — but… what.. ever…. In theory, you could arrange appointments all day long and just hang out at that spot. It might get boring, but you would be on a first name basis with the various barristas.

So, go meet a Notary at a coffee spot and have a caffeinated notarization. Your signature might be a bit jittery, but that adds character to the signing.

You might also like:

Notary Starbucks – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18926

Have you ever been tempted not to go into a borrower’s house?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15369

Share
>

October 12, 2019

Millennial male Notaries resent Jeremy’s advice to “man-up”

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:25 pm

Yes, it is a problem with millennials nationwide. They are a generation in which the males don’t want to have manly attributes and the females antagonize males for being toxic when it is really females who are more actively toxic with all of their anti-male feminist bantor.

Feminism is really masculinism in disguise — an ideology that women are inferior, and the only way to compensate is to be as similar (or better) to men as possible. Traditionalism is where females have dignity doing their feminine duties such as procreation, managing the family, social networks, cooking, extended family, etc.

JEREMY: Men, it’s time to “man-up” and be more assertive in your business.

JAIME: Like, why is that so important. Can’t we just be ourselves?

JEREMY: How old are we now, three?

JAIME: More like 26. And I’m a snowflake by the way.

JEREMY: How did I guess. You are more like a snowflake without the snow, but I digress. You need to call or contact 200 signing companies so that you know that you exist.

JAIME: Oh, that is like sexual harassment. Yeah, I heard that if you talk to a girl on your own initiative, you could end up in jail.

JEREMY: What? I think if you make unwanted sexual remarks repeatedly you might have a problem. If you are just being friendly, people can make all the false accusations they want, but there is no evidence of wrongdoing. Do you want to work or not?

JAIME: Like, can’t there be some app that will do this for me so that I don’t have to act assertionly or whatever you said?

JEREMY: Do you want $40 per jobs on a snappy app which is our competitor, or $100 with a little education, promotion and a few legit reviews. And that is “assertively”, not assertionly by the way. You should probably read more with a dictionary to master English.

JAIME: Well, I self-identify as a successful Notary.

JEREMY: How many jobs have you completed to date?

JAIME: None yet. You’re hurting my inner child.

JEREMY: Is your entire generation like this? I don’t see a future in America. You guys don’t even breed.

JAIME: Well that might be difficult as breeding is sexist.

JEREMY: I think we are completely lost here. Without both genders doing what God designed them to do, there won’t be any future human race, you know that right?

JAIME: I see no proof that God exists.

JEREMY: Humans didn’t evolve out of a vacuum and neither did our souls. There is a spiritual component behind our evolution. Never mind. We are getting nowhere here. I’m not going to say “man-up” anymore, because it is pointless. Have fun paying rent with your attitude. Oh, let me guess, rent is also sexist — I’m sure you’ll find a rationalization how it is.

JAIME: No, rent is mean. Because what if someone is having a hard time finding work and a mean landlord makes that person pay rent. Boo hoo hoo.

JEREMY: At this point, I will thank my parents for kicking me out of the house when I was 18 except for summer vacations from school. I learned to survive in the real world. It took me ten years to figure out how to be self-sufficient, but I did it. And I thought I was a block head. Brother!

You might also like:

Millennials notaries and gender rules
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

A Millennial self-identifies as being a notary public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22269

Share
>

August 30, 2019

The notary apologizing game

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:54 pm

A Notary notarized a couple in Venice, CA. The husband was signing an Affidavit and the wife was signing a Power of Attorney. The Power of Attorney notarization required a thumbprint by law, but the wife (who was a politically correct person) mistook this for sexism.

WIFE: Ah-ha! You want a thumbprint from me, but don’t require it from my husband because he is a man!

NOTARY: With that attitude it is a wonder that you can even attract or keep a man. You regard yourself as our enemy!

WIFE: I resent that. I am on the enemy of sexist, misogynist, guys who are the enemies of womankind.

NOTARY: You mean guys who don’t let you walk all over them?

WIFE: Exactly… Hey No. You tricked me into saying that. In any case. I demand an apology for being a sexist Notary.

HUSBAND: According to the state of California…

WIFE: Stay out of this.

HUSBAND: (shrugs shoulders) okay.

NOTARY: Typical beta-male. You just love those submissive males who are just so happy to have a woman they’ll say anything.

WIFE: That’s the way men should be. They should know who the superior gender is.

NOTARY: Ah-ha! I demand an apology. You just said something sexist towards male Notaries. Okay, it was not notary-specific, but towards males.

HUSBAND: He kind of has a point.

WIFE: Stay out of this — once again…

NOTARY: Okay husband who doesn’t wear the pants in the family….

HUSBAND: Ouch… you kind of have a point here though.

NOTARY: Do you solemnly swear or affirm that the contents of this document are true and correct?

HUSBAND: I demand an apology. You asked me to swear when I don’t believe in swearing.

NOTARY: Oh boy, another one of those.

WIFE: He’s just kidding. He doesn’t stand for any ideology except for cow-towing to my every request which is exactly how it should be.

NOTARY: Well it looks like we live in an ideal world, so how come you are so angry now that you have everything your way?

WIFE: Everything? You call this everything? I still didn’t get my apology.

NOTARY: I apologize for not explaining notary law to you before the signing. Everything I am doing is consistent with Notary law.

WIFE: Well then notary law is sexist and part of the patriarchy since it involves swearing to God.

NOTARY: That is an issue for the secretary of state’s office.

HUSBAND: Do you know any good men’s rights organizations?

NOTARY: After today I will definitely Google a few. And if I don’t find any, then I will owe you an apology.

You might also like:

Affirmations – pleasing the politically correct while offending the traditionalists
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19606

A New category in the notary census
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22197

Share
>

August 19, 2019

A notary goes to a motivational event, but has a hearing problem

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:54 pm

Frank the Notary went to a motivational speech to try to improve his way of thinking. But his hearing was off. The speaker said, “Become the best version of yourself.” But, Frank heard something different.

All throughout the speech, the teacher made lame gender related jokes, and Frank tried to laugh extra hard. The speaker made some lame joke about how Jack and Jill went up the hill but did more than just fetch a pail of water and Frank laughed his head off. After about two hours of this, the teacher came to have a one on one talk with Frank.

SPEAKER: Hi Frank, is that what your name tag says?

FRANK: Pardon my handwriting. I get a little jittery around all of this sexy ladies.

SPEAKER: There are only two ladies under fifty here and trust me they are nothing to look at.

FRANK: You know what I mean.

SPEAKER: I think you misheard me when I began this lecture. I said be the best version of yourself, not the best virgin.

FRANK: Ohhhhh! Now you tell me. And I was trying so hard too! Now I will be Frank 3.1

SPEAKER: Well thank God for that. And thank God you finally lost your virginity.

FRANK: What a relief!

You might also like:

Notary Suicide Hotline
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6995

A dream about Michelle Obama’s inspirational speech
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20028

Share
>

July 19, 2019

The A.D.D. culture and your listing and notary marketing

Filed under: Your Notes Section — admin @ 4:39 am

When Notaries create their listings, they think about what they want to write, but rarely think about what the readers want to see. Notaries also rarely think about the mental state of the readers.

We live in the age of attention deficit disorder. Children used to have it, now those children have grown up, need Notaries and search for Notaries using SnapDocs which caters to people with attention issues.

People these days need more exercise, more oxygen to the brain and more of a clue, but that’s never going to happen. So, what’s the solution? Writing better Notary notes sections.

People searching for Notaries want these things.
1. You respond to texts in three seconds or less.
2. Your profile tells them everything they want to know in a format that makes them able to read it in three seconds or less.
3. You answer all of their questions by phone (if they still use those contraptions) in three seconds or less.

This means that if you advertise on 123notary, you will get emails, and phone calls but probably not texts as we do not want to automate texts. And you need to pick up that antiquated talkerizer machine (still called a phone) and answer asap. You need to answer emails asap as well. Don’t keep people waiting because they are the ADD generation. Millennials have ruined the world as we know it and when they are older they will probably destroy it altogether if they have the patience to figure out how (which is our saving grace because they have no patience). Additionally, they will probably feel too entitled to destroy the world themselves and will probably try to employ the help of others who have a work ethic.

Additionally, your notes section needs to cater to the ADD folks. If you put, “Hello my name is Susan and I am NNA certified” at the top of your notes, you are boring them with your name that they already know and your certification which 90% of people on 123notary already have. Bore them with something a little more unique about you and put it in a format that can be scanned in three seconds or less. Think from the perspective of an ADD(er). If I had ADD, or was an ADDs (not AIDS) patient, how would I want to look for a notary — and use George Costanza’s three second rule. Scan…. scan… scannn… oh there’s one — he is Pavaso certified, knows how to do deconstruction loans (sounds leftist), and likes saying hello to puppies (how cute!) Let’s hire him!

Next you need to appeal to the preferences of the hiring class who are increasingly millennials (not perennials unless you are a tax preparer). They want people who are not too manly, so don’t show off your barbell collection. Having a cute little dog in an outfit is good if you are a guy (especially if you do a lot of waving and selfies with the dog. And if you are a woman, try to have an app for your service because millennials with ADD need an APP otherwise no nOTTary deal.

My last point is don’t use foreign words. One Notary used the word “rolodex” and another used “rotary dial phone” in their profile. Some of the millennial users complained that they had to use a dictionary to understand some of the notes sections.

So, keep it simple and keep it quick. Remember to use George Constanza’s golden principle about the three second rule. Don’t bore people with the same old thing they read in other people’s notes section but emphasize what makes you different. Good luck and have us proofread and millennify your notes!

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about Snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

Snapdocs – do they cater to the fastest or the best(est)?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20821

Millennial notaries and gender roles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

Share
>

July 2, 2019

A millennial self-identifies as being a Notary Public.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 2:27 am

TEACHER: Now, class, as we all know, we are all little snowflakes now aren’t we?

CLASS: Yes teacher

TEACHER: And we don’t have to be responsible about anything in life because the world owes us a living. Anyone who criticizes us is bad because they might offend or hurt our feelings which is the worst thing of all. Now class, we must all be sensitive to how people identify. Let’s go around the class.

SHELLIE: I self-identify as being a male police man.

TODD: I just came back from a trip to India, and my nuts were sore from the car bouncing on the bumpy roads in the mountains. Such unbelievable pain. I bet you have had similar problems being a man, right?

SHELLIE: Excuse me?

TODD: You mean your nuts have never hurt?

SHELLIE: I don’t have those yet. I’m transitioning dummie.

FRANK: I self-identify with being a Notary Public.

TODD: Oh good, how much is it to get an Affidavit of copy of transcript notarized?

FRANK: What’s an Affidavit?

TODD: It is a document you notarize… That’s what Notaries do you know. Do you have a stamp and a Notary commission?

FRANK: I think we have to stand up to this type of harassment. My feelings are hurt!

TODD: Have you filed your Oath and Bond with the county clerk?

FRANK: What’s a bond?

SHIMON: I self-identify as being a sephardic cantor.

TODD: Can you sing me some lines from what you sing in shul?

SHIMON: Oh yeah… (sings very Moroccan sounding Hebrew prayers and sways from side to side.)

TODD: Just out of curiousity, did you start out as a Sephardic cantor, or did you transition into it?

SHIMON: I had to go to school to learn to become a cantor. You can’t “cant” unless you study.

TODD: Did you have to study to become Sephardic?

SHIMON: You kind of have to be born into that, but it’s complicated. To be of a tribe, your affiation is based on the father, but your religion based on the mother.

SHELLIE: What about your sexual identity — is that based on your mother’s lineage or your father’s?

SHIMON: I’ll have to think about that. Have a nice evening and Shalom!

You might also like:

Millennial Notaries and gender roles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

The ADD culture and marketing your notary listing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22309

Share
>
Older Posts »