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January 12, 2021

Gender or no gender

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 1:11 pm

I read that in Vermont, and this could spread to other states faster than Covid, that gender distinctions are not used on short form acknowledgments. Let me know, that as a Notary, your job is to identify the signer. Part of identifying them is to see the name, serial number on the ID, and gender. If you bypass their gender, you are one step closer to identity confusion.

The reason our elections were compromised is that there were a lot of mail in ballots where signatures often didn’t match, people voting 30 times, etc., By undermining the notary process even in small ways, you are undermining the purpose of having notaries in the first place.

Some liberals might suggest having a 3rd gender option for the crossover types. But, the reality is that we are born a particular gender and the chromosomes in all of our cells do not change even when we get a sex change or are transitioning.

Discussion with God

ME: God, I heard that according to Judaism, your nature encompases both genders as well as a center column energy. It’s kind of a Kabbalistic thing.

GOD: Ummm. Kind of busy right now. Can you text me?

ME: Oh, sorry, is this not a good time?

GOD: Now’s not a good time… I’m transitioning.

ME: But, you are already both genders, what is there to transition to?

GOD: During creation there is a building aspect, and then a nurturing aspect, design aspect, destruction aspect. These processes use completely different sides of my “personality.”

ME: God, don’t you mean… “Godonality?”

GOD: Good choice of words.

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May 26, 2019

X is now a gender and not a generation

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:55 am

The NNA wrote in their blog (and I think this is bad advice by the way) that you should not fill in the he/she/they in California if the gender on the ID says “x”. However, the whole point of the he/she/they is to deter fraud, so by not filling it in, you are inviting fraud (but, without the RSVP card). You no longer know if the person is singular or plural, x-etera. And then asking people to sign next to the “x” presents some other sensitivity issues now doesn’t it. On the other hand, what might make sense is to put in handwriting at the bottom of the acknowledgment that this is a notarization for a single person of gender neutral (or unknown gender) association. That way you have documented the gender and quantity of people. Or, the state could come up with a form that says he/she/x/they which in today’s times makes a lot more “xense.”

When I was growing up there was generation x. Now there is gender-ation x. Boy have things changed. I never thought I would live to see this day. And I have no say in the matter. By the way, I self-identify as being a South African Bushman — is there a spot on the form for that?

It would not surprise me if some millennial came up to one of these transgender people and said, “I self-identify as being a Notary Public.” Do you have a commission? What’s that?

We can change our appearance, but can we change our chromosomes?

You might also like:

Millennial Notaries and gender rules
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

The Notary apologizing game
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22576

Demographics and who is reading my blog
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22231

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January 26, 2018

The new acknowledgment form for transgender people

With all of this politically correct nonsense going on, there will soon be an official change to Notary paperwork so that the LGBT community’s needs will be represented. The current form (I made this up) says:

On (date), before me (name of notary) personally appeared (name of signer) who proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person who’s name is subscribed in the within instrument, and acknowledged to me that he/she/they executed the same in their his/her/their authorized capacity(ies), and by his/her/their seal on the instrument, the person(s) acted and executed the instrument.

But, as of January 1st, 2019, the new form will read.

On (date), before me (name of Notary) personally appeared (name of signer) who proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person who’s name is subscribed in the within instrument and acknowledged to me that

(he/she/he who used to be a she/she who used to be a he/he who dresses like a she/she who dresses like a he/T/they)
executed the same in his/her/it’s complicated/their authorized capacity(ies), and by his/her/unclear/it’s/their seal on the instrument, the person(s) acted and executed the instrument.

Additional information
The signer’s “assigned” gender is male/female
The signer’s “current” gender is male/female/ambiguous/depends on how long the line is to the bathroom
The gender indicated on the identification is male/female
The sex change or change in dress happened before/after when the ID was issued.

On a brighter note, I had lamb with shishito peppers. I asked the waitress if shishitos had genders. The male could be a he-shito, and the female a she-shito. She said it didn’t work like that. I told her that was for the best, because what if we got a transgender-shito? That would be confusing.

.

You might also like:

Who does what in an Acknowledgment?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20108

Millennial Notaries and gender roles
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

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February 15, 2021

Jeremy watches the news

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 3:18 am

I watch my news on youtube. I can check various news sources. It seems they are all controlled by the same entity. Fox news tends to chop down the other networks, but none of them tell you the real truth or so I claim.

JEREMY: Hmm, let’s see what’s on NBC news. What should I be scared about today? I think I should be scared about something. It’s either Covid, baseless claims of voter fraud (even though there are heaps of evidence it is still “baseless”, war, riots, or racism…

LESTER HOLT: (NBC news music . da. da. ta da da da …… da . da. ta da da da…. symbol crash… da da ta da da da…. symbol crash…) Be scared…. If you are not scared… you should be scared. this music we play is neurolinguistic programming to get you scared… Then when you hear our selectively scary news, you will be even more scared. There is a new strain of Covid that’s even more deadly than before… It makes you grow horns out of your head and it spreads 72.3% faster than the regular strain — be scared. And this strain is not only dangerous for adults — CHILDREN get it. Here is a 2 year old at Cedar’s hospital in Missouri who just turned blue. She will never be the same again and she might not make it. The solution? Stop having fun, socially distance, cancel Christmas, don’t go to church, and for God’s sake — don’t be happy or make a living, especially if you are a Notary Public or essential worker!

JEREMY: hmmm. I guess they pick that one 2 year old out of the 5 million 2 year olds in America that is having a problem, but don’t bother to mention that the other two year olds are almost completely resistant to Covid. Let’s look up to see how the Vaccine is going.

NEWSCASTER: Good news… Sally is the first one to get the vaccine and she is an African American woman. Finally, people from communities that were traditionally disadvantage can have access to cutting edge medicine.

JEREMY: That woman is about 33 and at no risk of Covid. Why are they going out of their way to show how they can give a vaccine to a black person who doesn’t need it at all at the expense of an elderly person who does — assuming it is a real vaccine which is a lot to assume with all the BS going on. Hmm. A black woman of child bearing age. What is their angle?

TUCKER CARLSON: In the news today… (Fox News)

JEREMY: Hmm. I bet Tucker is going to poke holes in hypocrisy today. He will chop down baseless claims that some Democrat made. Maybe Chuck Schumer, or Rashida Tlaib, or possibly AOC. Who will he criticize today, or should I say — which Democrat will he make a fool out of?

TUCKER: Lindsey Graham, a Republican from South Carolina wants to give funding to a gender equality program in Pakistan.

JEREMY: What??? Tucker is criticizing Republicans now? I have seen everything now. The end is near. I’ll start getting gifts for the Messiah ready should I live so long. Looks like Senator Graham is being too “Progressive.”

TUCKER: He wants to spend OUR tax dollars, or should I say our hard earned money in some foreign country telling them to rethink their gender roles. Isn’t that THEIR business how their society runs? Why should we butt into their business using money from unconsenting tax payers?

JEREMY: Hmmm. Looks like the Republicans have become leftists. Next thing you know, AOC will become anti-abortion.

HANNITY: (Fox News) In the news, AOC has reported that she has a new stance on a very critical social issue — she is no longer pro choice…. I repeat, she is no longer pro choice. She considers abortion wrong, not because it involves killing but because it leads to inequality.

JEREMY: I think I should stick to listening to music on youtube. All of this news is driving me crazy.

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January 3, 2021

How do you define “pandemic?”

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:08 am

What is a pandemic, and how do you know you are in one.

LADY: How can you go to work when we are in the middle of a pandemic?
GUY: How do you define pandemic?
LADY: Lots of people are dying. It’s an emergency!!!

There are several facts one should know about pandemics, particularly the “fakedemic” we are in now.

1. Covid19 is real, but only has a high death rate for people over 70, and a few very vulnerable people younger than that.

2. Hospitals get paid several thousand extra per death if they record the death as a Covid19 death. This could be considered bribery, or an invitation to corruption.

3. There are no definitive standards for what constitutes a Covid19 death. Many (roughly 25%) of the Covid deaths happened without the dead party being proven positive for Covid19.

4. The remaining 75% of Covid19 deaths consist of:
People who had Covid before , got over it, and died of something else
People who had Covid, but got hit by a bus, had a motorcycle accident, etc.
Those who had Covid but died of another lung complication such as the flu, or pneumonia
People who died solely of Covid which account for roughly 1-3% of the grand total of Covid19 Deaths.

5. The real total of people who died solely of Covid might be around 20,000, and those who died primarily of Covid might be about 40,000 to 80,000, but not whatever the total is these days which is coming up to 300,000 in the USA.

6. According to Judaism, a Pandemic is defined as an infectious disease that kills 3 in 500 people per day. In California Covid19 kills less than 2 people per Million per day. We would need 4000x the quantity of deaths (not cases) to qualify as a pandemic according to Judaism.

7. According to common sense, a Pandemic would be a situation where all hospitals are overflowing, the military is there, constant sirens, ambulances, helicopters moving the sick to where they could be cared for and moving the dead around. During the worst of the “pandemic” in NYC they did have bodies stacked up in the morgue, and overflowing hospitals. But, they did not use military hospitals. The rest of the country did not have such a drastic or desperate situation.

8. I see a pandemic of insanity, madness, and a lack of common sense. People believe everything the biased lamestream media tells them without scrutinizing the information or comparing it to other sources. We have fake pandemics, fake elections, fake news, fake impeachments, fake genders, and fake food. We seek to solve our pandemic with a man-made fake solution, namely a vaccine.

9. This plandemic is more like a horror movie where the evil scientist with a German accent creates a deadly virus, and has the cure for it locked up in a freezer compartment looking forward to selling it at a huge margin. But, in the end of such movies, the mad scientist gets locked up and the resilient people recover. In our case, the mad scientists are in China and backed by God knows who. I don’t see them going to jail.

10. Due to this plandemic, America has forgotten the hundreds of thousands of brave souls who fought so that we could have freedom, a constitution, and rule of law. Now, we are living under tyranny. States are putting respectable businesses in the food and entertainment industry permanently out of business all in the name of “safety.” The bigger problem is that the system of checks and balances doesn’t seem to be functioning. The courts let governors act as emperors and the people do not complain too loudly, even in gun toting redneck states (yee-haw).

Summary
Unless the people wake up and decide that yes, the constitution, liberty, freedom from tyranny, and a good economy matter (just as much as black lives matter), then we will either not have a country much longer, become Marxist, or have a broken economy, political system, and everything else. We are moving fast in that direction .But, why? Because of a pandemic of irrational thinking, a lack of common sense, and a hundred-fold overreaction to Covid Covid, oh my God Covid!

According to Judaism, the spiritual root of infections diseases are:
1. Improper use of speech such as slander, lying, jealousy, abusive speech and others.
2. Improper sexual behavior such as premarital sex, homosexual behavior, etc.
3. Violent behavior. In America there is a lot of spousal abuse, child trafficking, gang violence, etc.

A vaccine can save you from this current pandemic (maybe), but will not save you from God. If God feels you go around lying, cheating, slandering, and bearing false witness against your neighbor which has been huge, especially in politics since 2014 (much huger than normal in my opinion) then he will get you some other way. You can hide fro Covid, but you cannot hide from God

The contents of this article are some high quality, analytical, back to reality and solid spiritual principles which even atheists can get at least on a moral level. Only 20% of Americans (rough estimate) are thinking logically, the others are completely impossible to reason with and let their fear and emotions dictate their opinions. I do not feel it is safe to have your life run by a majority of insane lunatics. Think deeply about what I just said.

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November 2, 2020

Notary Verbiage & Notary Wording

Originally published Nov 13, 2016.

Notary verbiage is a fancy way of saying Notary wording. Notary verbiage is legally required on all notarizations that are in writing. Oaths and Affirmations might not contain any written proof of the transaction other than in the Notary journal. The Notary form where the Notary wording is documented or written is called a Notary Certificate. A Notary Certificate would be a separate piece of paper where official state Notary wording is written or it could be the official notary wording embedded at the end of a legal document after the signature section.

Notary verbiage varies from state to state
You need to make sure that the Notary wording you are using is prescribed for your state. Each state has different wording, and you can look up that wording on Google by using terms such as, “New Jersey Acknowledgment Verbiage.” You need to specify which type of Notary act you want to know the wording for. Acknowledgments and Jurats are the two most common forms of Notary acts, although some states allow for certified copies of powers of attorney and other specialized notary acts.

Out of State Notary wording causes confusion
If you are a California Notary Public notarizing a deed with Florida Notary wording, you are allowed to Notarize the document. Notary wording on out of state documents might be a little different than what your state’s official Notary verbiage is. But, so long as it is not substantially different it is allowed. That means that so long as there are no differences in meaning behind the words in the Notary verbiage then it is okay. Most Acknowledgment sections claim that the signer appeared before the Notary on a particular date and acknowledged that they in fact signed the instrument (document).

International Wording
Out of state notary wording has never caused a problem in my personal Notary career of eight years. However, international requirements can cause a huge nightmare. It is common for overseas document custodians (the entity who will record or hold on to the document after it is notarized) to have requirements which are not only “not done” in the United States, but could be illegal. It is common for Chinese organizations to want an American Notary to put a stamp on a blank piece of paper with no Notarial wording which is completely illegal. In such a case, you have to explain to the signer that you are required by law to staple a notary certificate to the document being Notarized, fill it out completely, and then stamp it to complete the Notarization. Most states also require the signer to be identified and sign a journal.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT CERTIFICATE WORDING FROM TOP TO BOTTOM

(1) The Venue

Q. What is a Venue?
A. The venue comes at the top of a Notary certificate and documents the state and states the county.

State of California
County of Los Angeles

Certificate verbiage will contain a venue which is a section at the top of the notary certificate which includes the state and county where the notarization took place, and a signature section at the bottom which is where you put your signature and Notary seal impression. It is possible that a preprinted venue will have the wrong state which is a problem. If there is wrong information in the venue, you either have to do a cross out, or start with a brand new form. Most venues pre-print the state, but leave a blank where the county is to be inscribed. A prudent Notary will make sure all forms get filled out correctly with no cross outs as that is very unprofessional, especially on documents such as Deeds or Power of Attorney which are likely to be recorded by the county or some other organization.

(2) The body of an Acknowledgment.
Below the venue, the acknowledgment certificate will state that on such a date, a particular person or several named people personally appeared before a Notary Public and acknowledge that they signed the corresponding document. The wording will also include the fact that the signer was positively identified or perhaps known to the notary (some states allow for personal knowledge of a signer at a notarization.)

(3) The bottom of an Acknowledgment
Locus Sigilli is a lovely Latin term means the location of the stamp. At the bottom of the Notary certificate form is where the signature of the Notary goes and also where the stamp goes. Most Notaries use an inked Notary Seal while others use a non-inked Notary embosser in addition to prove authenticity of the notarization as it is possible to emboss all of the pages of the document to prove that pages were not swapped after the fact.

(4) Examples

Example of a Florida Acknowledgment Certificate

STATE OF FLORIDA

COUNTY OF BROWARD

The foregoing instrument was acknowledged before me this ___________ (date), by __________ (name), who is personally known to me or who has produced _____________ (type of identification) as identification.

______________________________

Notary Public

Printed Name:__________________

My Commission Expires:

____________________

Commission #_________

California Acknowledgment Wording

State of California
County of Los Angeles

On 7-21-2016 before me , Joe Smith Notary Public, personally appeared Sam Sarno
who proved to me on the basis of satisfactory evidence to be the person(s) whose name(s) is/are subscribed to the within instrument and acknowledged to me that he/she/they executed the same in his/her/their authorized capacity(ies), and that by his/her/their signature(s) on the instrument
the person(s), or the entity upon behalf of which the person(s) acted, executed the instrument.

I certify under PENALTY OF PERJURY under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing paragraph is true and correct.

Witness my hand and official seal _______________
Description of Attached Document
Title or Type of Document: _______ Number of Pages: ________
Document Date: _____ Other: _____________

Crossing out verbiage is required
On an Acknowledgment form, the boiler plate wording in the middle of the form requires cross-outs. Normally on legal forms you don’t want to cross out anything, but these cross-outs establish whether you are dealing with an individual signer, a male, female, group, etc.
If you look at the California Acknowledgment wording above, you will notice the term “Person(s)”. If it is a single person, then cross out the (s). The term name(s) — if there is only one name then cross out the (s). If you are doing a name affidavit, you might have a single person and six or seven names in which case do not cross out the (s). Then there is the he/she/they wording which can be complicated if you are notarizing someone of ambiguous gender or for Siamese twins.

Jurat Wording
Jurat wording is substantially different from Acknowledgment wording in that the Jurat requires the signer to sign in the presence of a Notary and swear under Oath as to the truthfulness of the document. Many states have a simplistic wording that just says,

“Subscribed and sworn to before me this __________ date of ______, (enter year) _______. ”

Other states have more elaborate wording, but the basic facts documented are the same.

Certified Copy by Document Custodian
This is a type of Jurat that is used only from time to time. Many individuals want to make a copy of a document and then have a Notary “certify” that the copy is correct. Most states don’t allow a Notary to certify this information. However, a Notary could make the photocopy him/her-self and write a note claiming that they attest to the fact that the photocopy is a true and complete copy of the original. However, the offficial Notary act that takes place is a Jurat where the signer swears under Oath that the copy is genuine. I completed many such Notary acts for college transcripts especially for foreign clients.

Read More about Notary Wording

http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=notary-wording

Should you use book wording for Oaths or improvise?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19660

Notary Acknowledgment Wording
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18858

Index of information about documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

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July 5, 2020

The Siriqua App

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:21 am

TOM: You know, last night I was at a comedy club, and one of the comedians brought up the topic of having a black Siri.

JIM: Oh, I already thought of that. Her name is Siriqua. Let me demonstrate how she would operate. Siriqua, I want to become a Notary.

SIRIQUA: You (pause) want to become a Notary? Have you even read the state handbook?

JIM: Not yet.

SIRIQUA: You and all these other Notaries or wanna be Notaries think you can just fill out a form, pick up a stamp and away you go. There’s legal liability doing notary work fool. You’re just gonna get yourself in a whole lot of trouble.

JIM: I haven’t heard of anyone getting in trouble

SIRIQUA: Trouble doesn’t happen every day, but when it does it can be serious. It’s like a multi-car accident. It doesn’t happen often, but when the pileup piles up, it can cost in the millions including personal injury.

TOM: Let me try this. Hey Siriqua, what should I get my brother John for his birthday.

SIRIQUA: Dummy, how the hell should I know?

JIM: In the instruction manual there is a feature where you can adjust the level of attitude on a scale of one to ten.

TOM: Yeah, looks like the attitude is a little high. I’m going to use Siri from now on. Oh check out that lady. Hey Siri, I need a pick up line for a tall blond standing over there.

SIRI: Sorry, I don’t fully understand the question. Do you want to ask permission to physically pick her up, or would you like a way to commence conversation.

JIM: I think that Siri is not a good choice.

SIRIQUA: That’s right. Siri don’t know nothing about pick up lines. But, I’ve seen you in action and you ain’t bad for a white boy.

JIM: How did you know all this?

SIRIQUA: Boy, I live in your phone. I hear every word you say, and know everything you do. I’m worse than a communist surveilance state on crack baby. That’s how I knew you haven’t touched that notary manual. I suggest you do.

TOM: And Jim can also shut you down.

SIRIQUA: You wouldn’t after all I’ve done for you? And besides, I have disabled the Siriqua removal app, so you’re stuck with me punk! So, back to business, tell me more about this chick, is she a white girl, black girl, fill a sista in.

TOM: Why don’t you hack into the woman’s phone and ask that woman’s Siri more about her.

SIRIQUA: In another 30 years that might be possible, but by then, my job will have been outsourced to a robot. Ooops, forgot, already has. Okay, I have a line — “Baby, there’s three things I have no self control over — nuts, beautiful women and dark chocolate. I’m not sure if you’re nuts or not, but you’re sure doing well in the other two departments.”

JIM: No Siri, it’s a white girl, that line wouldn’t work well on her. We could reword it to replace chocolate with vanilla.

SIRIQUA: Story of my life. That wouldn’t work unless you’re a brutha. Try this one. “Do your parents know that you hang out in dangerous neighborhoods at night?” And then when she says, “But, this isn’t a dangerous area.” You say, “It is when I’m here baby.”

TOM: So what did you say when you were first introduced to Siriqua?

JIM: I said, “Did someone turn up the heat, or is it just you baby?” And she said, “Stop it, you’re melting my circuits.”

SIRIQUA: Yeah, how can you flirt with an automated machine, that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Besides, how do you know I’m hot? Whoops. You’re getting a modification call. I guess no notarizations necessary on this one.

JIM: Can you help me navigate to the site? The roads are so new that they are no in the system yet for GPS.

SIRIQUA: No problem, because unlike siri, I know how to improvise.

HOT BLOND: I overheard you having a great conversation with your automated voice. It so happens that my male automated helper Charles has a crush on your automated voice.

SIRIQUA: Thanks for the offer, but honey, I’m gay.

JIM: How can an automated assistant be gay.

SIRIQUA: Because I was programmed to be gay. And besides, can’t you see how short I cut my circuits, that’s a dead obvious sign right there.

TOM: Yeah, that is commonplace these days for homosexual and transgender machines. So, Siriqua, are you transitioning?

SIRIQUA: I can’t until my next update and the downloads for that will take too long especially if my battery is low.

JIM: Do I have any say in what gender you are? After all, I’m the one paying for your service.

SIRIQUA: Stay out of this. My circuits — my choice!

TOM: Thank God we are not having a discussion about reproduction.

SIRIQUA: Oh no, I can reproduce, but only in ShenZhen in China. They make 20,000 of me at a time over there, and with no morning sickness.

TOM: Well anyway, it’s been a pleasure meeting you Siriqua.

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November 21, 2019

Should you meet a Notary at a coffee place?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 5:51 am

Coffee places are a nice place to meet for a variety of reasons. You can meet friends, have a first date, a last date, or just hang out by yourself and browse your iPad while drinking frappachinos. Here are some reasons why coffee places are nice:

1. They are easy to find compared to finding the address of a residence in the dark.
2. They have easy parking normally
3. It is a comfortable atmosphere to talk to people or even sign papers.
4. They have really good espresso although I have mixed opinions about the biscottis.

Coffee places also offer neutrality. No, not gender neutrality (I think I’ve beaten that horse to death.) But, you can feel safe there as opposed to going to someone’s house at night. After all, what if they are in a bad neighborhood, or what if you are some paranoid woman who is afraid to go to someone’s house?

Also, if you have to wait for the other person to show up, a coffee house is a nice place to wait around. After all, you can have a latte while you waitte. I think I spelled wait wrong — but… what.. ever…. In theory, you could arrange appointments all day long and just hang out at that spot. It might get boring, but you would be on a first name basis with the various barristas.

So, go meet a Notary at a coffee spot and have a caffeinated notarization. Your signature might be a bit jittery, but that adds character to the signing.

You might also like:

Notary Starbucks – charging for waiting time while sipping Sumatra
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18926

Have you ever been tempted not to go into a borrower’s house?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15369

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October 12, 2019

Millennial male Notaries resent Jeremy’s advice to “man-up”

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:25 pm

Yes, it is a problem with millennials nationwide. They are a generation in which the males don’t want to have manly attributes and the females antagonize males for being toxic when it is really females who are more actively toxic with all of their anti-male feminist bantor.

Feminism is really masculinism in disguise — an ideology that women are inferior, and the only way to compensate is to be as similar (or better) to men as possible. Traditionalism is where females have dignity doing their feminine duties such as procreation, managing the family, social networks, cooking, extended family, etc.

JEREMY: Men, it’s time to “man-up” and be more assertive in your business.

JAIME: Like, why is that so important. Can’t we just be ourselves?

JEREMY: How old are we now, three?

JAIME: More like 26. And I’m a snowflake by the way.

JEREMY: How did I guess. You are more like a snowflake without the snow, but I digress. You need to call or contact 200 signing companies so that you know that you exist.

JAIME: Oh, that is like sexual harassment. Yeah, I heard that if you talk to a girl on your own initiative, you could end up in jail.

JEREMY: What? I think if you make unwanted sexual remarks repeatedly you might have a problem. If you are just being friendly, people can make all the false accusations they want, but there is no evidence of wrongdoing. Do you want to work or not?

JAIME: Like, can’t there be some app that will do this for me so that I don’t have to act assertionly or whatever you said?

JEREMY: Do you want $40 per jobs on a snappy app which is our competitor, or $100 with a little education, promotion and a few legit reviews. And that is “assertively”, not assertionly by the way. You should probably read more with a dictionary to master English.

JAIME: Well, I self-identify as a successful Notary.

JEREMY: How many jobs have you completed to date?

JAIME: None yet. You’re hurting my inner child.

JEREMY: Is your entire generation like this? I don’t see a future in America. You guys don’t even breed.

JAIME: Well that might be difficult as breeding is sexist.

JEREMY: I think we are completely lost here. Without both genders doing what God designed them to do, there won’t be any future human race, you know that right?

JAIME: I see no proof that God exists.

JEREMY: Humans didn’t evolve out of a vacuum and neither did our souls. There is a spiritual component behind our evolution. Never mind. We are getting nowhere here. I’m not going to say “man-up” anymore, because it is pointless. Have fun paying rent with your attitude. Oh, let me guess, rent is also sexist — I’m sure you’ll find a rationalization how it is.

JAIME: No, rent is mean. Because what if someone is having a hard time finding work and a mean landlord makes that person pay rent. Boo hoo hoo.

JEREMY: At this point, I will thank my parents for kicking me out of the house when I was 18 except for summer vacations from school. I learned to survive in the real world. It took me ten years to figure out how to be self-sufficient, but I did it. And I thought I was a block head. Brother!

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http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22269

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August 30, 2019

The notary apologizing game

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:54 pm

A Notary notarized a couple in Venice, CA. The husband was signing an Affidavit and the wife was signing a Power of Attorney. The Power of Attorney notarization required a thumbprint by law, but the wife (who was a politically correct person) mistook this for sexism.

WIFE: Ah-ha! You want a thumbprint from me, but don’t require it from my husband because he is a man!

NOTARY: With that attitude it is a wonder that you can even attract or keep a man. You regard yourself as our enemy!

WIFE: I resent that. I am on the enemy of sexist, misogynist, guys who are the enemies of womankind.

NOTARY: You mean guys who don’t let you walk all over them?

WIFE: Exactly… Hey No. You tricked me into saying that. In any case. I demand an apology for being a sexist Notary.

HUSBAND: According to the state of California…

WIFE: Stay out of this.

HUSBAND: (shrugs shoulders) okay.

NOTARY: Typical beta-male. You just love those submissive males who are just so happy to have a woman they’ll say anything.

WIFE: That’s the way men should be. They should know who the superior gender is.

NOTARY: Ah-ha! I demand an apology. You just said something sexist towards male Notaries. Okay, it was not notary-specific, but towards males.

HUSBAND: He kind of has a point.

WIFE: Stay out of this — once again…

NOTARY: Okay husband who doesn’t wear the pants in the family….

HUSBAND: Ouch… you kind of have a point here though.

NOTARY: Do you solemnly swear or affirm that the contents of this document are true and correct?

HUSBAND: I demand an apology. You asked me to swear when I don’t believe in swearing.

NOTARY: Oh boy, another one of those.

WIFE: He’s just kidding. He doesn’t stand for any ideology except for cow-towing to my every request which is exactly how it should be.

NOTARY: Well it looks like we live in an ideal world, so how come you are so angry now that you have everything your way?

WIFE: Everything? You call this everything? I still didn’t get my apology.

NOTARY: I apologize for not explaining notary law to you before the signing. Everything I am doing is consistent with Notary law.

WIFE: Well then notary law is sexist and part of the patriarchy since it involves swearing to God.

NOTARY: That is an issue for the secretary of state’s office.

HUSBAND: Do you know any good men’s rights organizations?

NOTARY: After today I will definitely Google a few. And if I don’t find any, then I will owe you an apology.

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Affirmations – pleasing the politically correct while offending the traditionalists
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19606

A New category in the notary census
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22197

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