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January 24, 2022

Notary Happy Days Goes to China!

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:29 pm

This was originally published many years ago.

Intro Joke:
A New Yorker was in the middle of downtown Shanghai with his wife and
kid. They walk into a restaurant where everybody in sight is Chinese
and nobody speaks a word of English.

The wife asks, “Where’s the bathroom?”
His kid asks, “Do you have egg rolls?”
And the guy asks, “Is the food authentic?”

I grew up watching Happy Days. I loved Richie, Potsie, Chachi, and
the gang. But, a Notary recently had to fly to Shanghai to do a
notarization for the Chinese version of Happy Days called “Yu-Kuai
Tian” which loosely translated means cheerful or happy day(s).

A Notary was called in to do a notarization for the staff of Yu-Kuai
Tian. He thought the notarization would be for a screenplay or a
writer’s contract. Boy, was he wrong.

NOTARY: Hi, I’m here for the notarization.

MANAGER: Solly no Yingrish! You wait!

ASSISTANT: Oh yes, we have been expecting you.

NOTARY: So, who am I signing for? One of the managers or the writers?

ASSISTANT: Oh, they didn’t tell you? You’re signing for the Chinese
Henry Winkler — “The Fong.” He’s late today because he was out last
night with one of his lady friends. One of his classier girlfiends who
doesn’t slurp when she eats her shark fin delight of three soup.

NOTARY: Sounds like an Ayy! One gal.

ASSISTANT: He’s out in back finishing repairing the transmission in a
rickshaw. He won’t be ready for you until 3pm. You can try one of our local restaurants.
They are quite good.

NOTARY: Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll try the one with the green
sign. I’ll just hope for the best.

ASSISTANT: But, before you go, please meet Mr. Yu and his guys. We
call them Yu’s guys!

NOTARY: Okay, how Yu’s guys doin’? This is how we talk in New York by the way.

(At the restaurant with the green sign. All of the staff are Chinese
and speak almost no English and all of the customers without exception
are Chinese as it is in downtown Shanghai.)

WAITER: Hello, I your waiter. My name Cha-Chee Wang.

NOTARY: You’re kidding. Cha-chee, like in Yu-Kuai Tian?

WAITER: Yes, I work there on my off day as wing man for The Fong. With my husband, Jo-Nee.
Jo-Nee love Cha-Chee.

NOTARY: I don’t care what I eat, but there is one thing that matters to me.

WAITER: You like dish called Potsie Sticker. It kind of dumpling.

NOTARY: Well, what I wanted to know is — is the food authentic?

WAITER: Yeah, food authentic all right. Half hour after you eat, you hungry to breathe
Oxygen. We in China after all. No Americanized food here. We don’t even know what that mean.
But, today long day. Potsie also work here. He having worst day in life. He so
out of it, it take him half hour to make “minute fried rice.”

NOTARY: Well maybe you should have Joannie come and help him.

WAITER: We try, but Joannie Chan busy. Anyway, one order of Potsie
Sticker coming up. By the way, last week was Chinese New Year – year
of the monkey, but sorry, we not serve monkey here. Try down street.
Delicacy — very expensive.

NOTARY: Thanks, but when I said authentic, maybe I had no idea what I
was getting myself into.

(30 minutes later)

NOTARY: Thanks for the great meal. Let me give you 40 ren-min-bi,
that should cover it. Back to the set.

THE FONG: Heyyyyyy!!!!! (with two sexy Chinese girls: one on each
side of him in cheerleader outfits.)

NOTARY: Wow, I get to meet the Chinese Fonzie in the flesh.

THE FONG: No, don’t touch the leather. Just got it restored at Wing’s
leather repair down street. And don’t touch the hair either.

NOTARY: Okay, I promise not to.

GIRLS: We promise not to either! hee-hee-hee…

THE FONG: Eyyyy!!!!! (puts two thumbs up.)

NOTARY: Good thing we’re not doing thumbprints.

THE FONG: If we did, you not need ink, plenty of grease already on
thumbs from mechanic work not to mention coconut oil on hair for good
look.

NOTARY: Okay, I’ll need to see some ID.

THE FONG: Okay, legal name Fong Xiao-Leng, similar to Bruce Lee’s
Chinese name. But, people call me The Fong!

NOTARY: In real life I am not allowed to notarize outside of the State
of New Jersey where I am legally commissioned as a Notary Public, but
since this is a fictional comedy blog, I will take some liberties and
illegally use my stamp here in Shanghai.

THE FONG: Okay, so where do The Fong sign?

NOTARY: Right here

(The Fong signs in the wrong place and Notary scolds him)

NOTARY: No not there. You signed in the wrong place!

THE FONG: Wait second. You say The Fong… w-w-w-w-wong? The Fong NEVER wong!!!

NOTARY: Yeah, you were supposed to sign right here, and you signed
down there where the signature of the Notary is supposed to be.

THE FONG: Nobody say The Fong w-w-w-w-w-rong…. Not even The Fong’s mother.

NOTARY: Just admit it… You were wrong.

THE FONG: I can’t say it. I was w-w-w-w-w-w-… I just can’t.

NOTARY: Try one more time. Never mind. We’ll sign this fresh duplicate
I brought. Be more careful this time.

THE FONG: Okay. (scribbles The Fong on document)

NOTARY: No, that’s wrong. Your legal name is Fong Xiao-Leng, not The
Fong. The Fong is your nickname. You can’t legally be notarized using
that name.

THE FONG: Hey, this is blog entry. I do what I want. But, you say I
w-w-w-w-wrong again? We take this outside! NOBODY say The Fong wrong.

(The Fong grabs the Notary and takes him outside behind the garage)

THE FONG: You want on chin? Hurt more — show less. Or on gut? Hurt
more, nobody see.

NOTARY: What are you talking about?

THE FONG: You say The Fong wrong. Nobody say The Fong wrong and live
to tell about it. I punch you hard. You choose place.

NOTARY: Go for the gut. My dumplings weren’t that good anyway. I
think I prefer Americanized Chinese food come to think of it. But, I
have one condition. You can only punch me if you admit that you were
wrong.

THE FONG: Deal… (punch)

NOTARY: Oh my God… What are you, a Shao-Lin monk? That really hurt.
Ouch. I’ll spend the rest of the day bent over. Now it’s your turn.
You have to keep your end of the bargain and admit that you were
wrong. Fair is fair.

THE FONG: Okay. I keep bargain. I was w-w-w-w-w-w-w….

NOTARY: Yes, this is a Deed for the sale of one of the rick-shaws you repaired.

THE FONG: Do you notarize auto-sale paperwork?

NOTARY: I notarize any documents about anything that starts with a key
and goes vroom vroom!

THE FONG: Eyyyy!!!! That sound like something The Fong would say.
Anyway… I was w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w.

NOTARY: You can do it. Good thing I ate lightly.

THE FONG: I was wr-r-r-r-r… It so hard. I was w-w-w-w…. WONG! I was wong!

GIRLS: I can’t believe he said it. The Fong was wrong!

NOTARY: Okay, now sign this 3rd copy I made as Fong Xiao-Leng and
we’ll be all done and I’ll take the next flight back to America.

.

You might also like:

You know you’re a Notary when…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16038

The Lonely Italian — parody in a notary context
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15842

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December 26, 2021

The most interesting people I have met in my life.

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:28 am

I am getting older now. I am 52, and sometimes I reflect on my life. When I was younger I met many interesting people. In high school and college I met a lot of interesting people. As I entered the work force I encountered different people from walks of life I was not so familiar with. I grew up around intellectuals and met very few blue collar types. The blue collar people in Boston are very interesting in their own way, and are famous for their sarcasm which they call “sahcasm.” Then I moved from Boston to Los Angeles and worked in the Chinese community. They are definitely a very different social group. After a few years I started being a Mobile Notary and started 123notary not long after that to market my personal services. As an adult, I meet people in bars and in the park, but I don’t meet too many people other than Notaries. But, I digress. Let me make my list.

The most interesting people I have met.

1. My father. He studied math in school and became a programmer. He always had a deeper understanding of politics, life, business, etc. He seems to have forgotten his deeper understanding in his old age and now believes all of the BS that the mainstream media feeds him. What happened?

2. My mother. She was an expert pianist and knew about music and culture from around the world. She lived with anthropologists in college who were very interesting people. And she knew people from around the world.

3. My neighbor Uri. His mother was an intellectual and they both read and read and read. He grew up in Haifa, Israel. He knew about the world, politics, and his father was engaged in international business. Uri joined his father after finishing high school. Unfortunately he had a childhood bout with cancer which caught up to him in his early forties and he died. I would say that he helped me to learn how to deal with situations and difficult people — be tough and stand my ground. Nobody teaches you that back home in our community where people are very soft.

4. My neighbor Swami. Swami speaks five languages. Tamil, English, Arabic, Japanese, and French. He probably knows other Indian dialects too. He was an expert engineer, international business person, spiritual leader (his name says it all), and more. A very interesting conversationalist to say the least. He also taught me a thing or two about cooking his way where you grind each spice separately by hand. Wow! His wife was from Japan, and he could speak to her in her language. And he specialized in selling pipes to the Saudis for their hospitals. What a specialty that was!

5. My junior high school friend Mike. Mike studied for years after high school at Harvard extension and at other schools. He has known me since childhood and can talk about any subject and make interesting points – generally contrarian points which makes the conversation interesting. We still talk regularly and it never gets boring.

6. My college hallmate Bube. His father was a big time engineer back in Tanzania where he grew up. Bube studied 12 hours a day and would not put his books down unless there was a good party. He could talk about any subject and loved studying karate. Alas, the good times are over and my college friends are long gone. I actually emailed him a few years back to see how things were going.

7. People at the wedding of my 2nd or 3rd cousin. I met lots of people from my mothers village in the middle east who I had never met before. So many people were business people and had such good stories to tell about hotels, satellites, refrigerators, etc. All business stories. The one I remember was about the guy who made millions selling refrigerators — but he doesn’t even know how to plug one in — he hires the right people. So, I had a fun time at that party. But, like all good things — they come to an end and I don’t know those people except for my aunt who also tells stories quite well.

8. Mitch. When I started 123notary, I had no idea who to hire for programming. I hired a local Chinese company. They were okay. But, they became unhelpful and then I looked in the yellow pages and found Mitch. He has been handling most of my web business ever since. We go out a few times a year and the conversation is really interesting. He is a unique thinker.

9. Carmen. Carmen and I worked together from 2003 to 2020. She took the calls for 123notary and we talked all the time. There was never a dull moment and she had a deep understanding of human nature. Not always a very positive understanding, but I like to keep it real, so that worked for me.

10. Walter. Walter is my psychic counselor. We go over health issues, spiritual issues, business and life issues. He was a monk before, and is very knowledgeable and interesting and can discuss a vast array of topics. I have never met anyone like him. If I ever die, I will remember all of the fascinating sessions I had with him and how my life was meaningful as a result.

11. My Guru. My guru that I follow now is the spirit of Yogananda. One of the most interesting people I have ever met — at least in spirit form. He understands spirituality, and shamanic healing, and much more. It is hard to communicate with spirits, but I am partially shamanic, so I can do some, and Walter (interesting person #10 on this list) can communicate for me.

12. Angels. Walter is not only an interesting person, but he helped connect me to angels. I do volunteer work for a particular angel doing psychic battle with evil spirits. We cleared out most of the evil spirits from Arizona and California. Those spirits had been plaguing the area for thousands of years and we as a team got rid of them in only five years which is amazing. But, when we channel this angel, we get amazing information about life, health, spirituality, and much more. I have never gotten such interesting and useful information from anyone. Not from any book, not from any video, and not from any living person. Sorry to freak all of you out with my relationships with the dead — but this is how I live, and it is for the best.

13. The Assassin. I met an assassin at a bar. He was from Israel (half of Israelis are probably assassins) and he does his business in Africa — otherwise he would probably get arrested. He teaches governments how to defend from sieges, or how to do sieges. This is how they live in the Middle East I guess. Interesting cocktail party conversation but wouldn’t want to live through it. The irony is that he looked like a goofy hippie. Go figure!

14. Youtube personalities. Youtube has been my connection to the world. During Covid it was my only connection. I have met so many interesting life coaches via youtube. I guess I met them but they didn’t meet me. The host of valuetainment is named Patrick Bet-David and he is one of the most interesting people and always has new topics for his videos which are commonly interviews.

15. Other Notaries & Industry People. There are a few Notaries and people I met from 123notary who were very interesting over the years. They do not make the top ten list, but they were pretty inspirational and unique. A few of them helped me with my quiz questions too which to me is very valuable.

16. My former guru and his guru. They gave me a very good grounding on life, spirituality, and prophesies. They predicted a lot of the nonsense that is going on in America and the world right and what is to come — which you won’t like. My former guru’s guru Babuji came to me in spirit forms a few times and we channeled him a few times. But, my knowledge of him is more through his books. One of the most valuable thing my former guru taught me was to live in harmony with nature. The whole world seems to want to go as far away from nature as possible with artificial light, computers, pharmaceuticals, vaccines, covid masks. But, I try to be as natural as modern society will allow, and my first guru was a good influence in this respect.

SUMMARY
I have never written a blog article quite like this, other than going over the most interesting moments in my life. I wonder what is to come. My psychic says I will do business with China starting in 2024. I hope I learn better Chinese by then and I hope it goes well.

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November 7, 2021

America Last Title

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:10 am

Many Notaries worked for First American Title during the Trump administration. But, now that Biden has taken over, America Last Title has had phenomenal growth in market share.

But, I’m not worried. If American banking goes South, we can always rely on the Bank of China to bail us out! I’m tempted to say that we’ll already be eating Xiao-Leng-Bao and Jian-Bing, but I already am, and found a great place in Rowland Heights in a food court. Hand made and Shan-Dong province style. Love it.

Somehow I think that the majority of Americans want America to fail. But, when they can’t afford to eat or pay bills, they will reconsider. By then it will be too late. But, they can still get a job at America Last Title… maybe.

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October 31, 2021

In 2028, will there still be a notary industry?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 7:32 am

I am working so hard, that sometimes I often lose track of how what is going on in the world is going to play out. I feel that the Messiah is going to reveal himself in 2034 (my guru says that is the year. I feel that society as we know it will be wiped out before that. Of course not all of it will be destroyed. God likes to wipe out civilizations with wars, invasions, plagues, diseases, floods, earthquakes.

All of the crazy things happening now have historical precedents in the bible, or were discussed in the Bible. Isaiah discusses a lot of the social realities of today, believe it or not, and that was written about 2700 years ago.

Covid was the appetizer. People were all afraid of Covid but not the economic consequences. Inflation, labor shortages, supply chain backups — who would have guessed. I thought we would have deflation, unemployment problems, and warehouses full of stuff that nobody wanted. Boy was I wrong. I think whenever I predict the future, I should just reverse what I predict, and that will be the accurate representation of the future. Just like the Seinfeld episode — The Opposite.

I feel that in this unpredictable environment, if there is something I really want to do, I better do it now, because I might not be able to later. On the other hand, going to China was my long term goal, and now is by far the worst time to go to China with all of the vaccine nonsense going on.

So, if Covid was the appetizer, then what is the meal? Asteroids, Earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, WW3, starvation? All of these thoughts run through my head. My psychic channeled the angels and they said we would also have volcanoes — good God! If these things happen, they will happen in the next ten years. My guru said that the asteroid will come in 2028 and it will rain fire and God knows if our satellites will survive this. Our banking system is tied to satellites, so I wonder how safe our assets will be.

And if these things happen, what will happen to the Notary industry? If half of Americans die in the next ten years due to the various plagues, will there still be a Notary industry? What will I do? Will I do business with China? How many Chinese will still be alive? 98% of Chinese are atheists. I don’t think God will let too many atheists survive the plagues before the coming of the Messiah or as the Hebrews call him, “Mechiach Ben David.”

I think there will be a remnant of what once was in 2028 as far as the Notary industry goes. There will be a lot fewer people if my prediction is correct. I predict that America will have a population of 140 million in 2028 which is generous compared to what I think God will do to most of the rest of the world, especially places that lack faith in God or decency. Most of Asia will be completely wiped out including most of Israel if I guess correctly. But, some of Israel has to survive otherwise where will the Messiah live. There has to be a logic to my train of thought.

So, I am afraid. Sometimes I want to just scream in terror. I don’t know what to expect. Perhaps I should just not think about it. The death of an industry and a nation — both of which are my home and economic stability.

When my father was in his early 50’s, my mother died. His friends told him that he was getting older — and that if there was anything he really wanted to do, he should do that now. I am giving this advice to myself. I think I want to spend more time with the cactuses in Tucson and work on my health.

I’m not sure what I will do for a living in 2028 if the Notary industry is over. I better learn more Chinese so I can do some trade work. That has always been my dream.

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June 4, 2021

RON — did you invest more than you made in revenue?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 10:44 am

The field of RON or Remote Online Notarizations is an unstable one. I have met many Notaries who do it, and a few who even like it. Some get tons of business, others get a job once in a blue moon, and many get nothing.

The costs of being a RON are hundreds and a lot of work. You need to get commissioned, perhaps get an online journal, and software, and approvals from the various platforms or agencies that deal with RON identification and other processes such as Pavaso and about six other popular options.

With Coronavirus abounding, people thought there would be more of a demand for RON. Many state governors made abrupt executive orders allowing it, and there were changes in legislation in various states (I don’t know the details) allowing more online notarizations.

Whether or not RON is secure, or whether you can identify people sufficiently was not much of a concern for the politicians. Their goal was to find yet another way to keep you at home. It’s like Yakov Smirnoff’s comedic commercial for Russian Express Card.

American Express Card — Don’t leave home without it
Russian Express Card — Don’t leave home…. ever…

How much work you get as a RON might depend on whether or not there is a virus. It also depends on how the culture adapts to new technology. People overseas who need an American Notary have to use it. Most of the clients for RON are in Dubai, London, Berlin, Israel, Italy, China, or some foreign place (that often has some sort of really long wall).

Worth it or not?
If you like dealing with all of the computer technology and think it’s cool, in the long run it might work for you if you can figure out how to market yourself. For others who are doing it just for the money, the money is not there yet, so don’t do it unless you can’t live without it.

People on 123notary who list that they are a RON get a lot more clicks. It is impressive and lets the world know you go above and beyond what the average Notary does.

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June 1, 2021

Fake Notary News

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 6:32 am

JEREMY: Now for the Notary news of the day. It has been alleged that China interfered with a process within the local secretary of state’s office that influenced a decision on Notary policy. Now, Notaries are not required to verify if an ID is actually real using a serious of logical steps.

TUCKER CARLSON: This is fake news!

HANNITY: That’s not fake news. Jeremy runs a blog with Notary articles. It is not news to begin with. It’s fake non-news.

TRUMP: All I want to know… is why does most of the trouble we have in the United States, most of the spying, espionage, interference with elections, interference with notary divisions, and most of the new infections diseases always come from (pause) … Chi—na.

JEREMY: I love that you got more than that the last ten presidents all put together. I love how you got touch on trade with China. I love how you give the media a hard time. But, the thing I love most about you, is how you say, “China.”

TRUMP: Thanks, I appreciate that. After all the abuse I’ve taken, it just makes me not want to go to work in the morning. But, now I’ll be living in Florida and going back to running my businesses. So, maybe I’ll feel like going to work in the morning. You have to go to work in the morning. I repeat myself a lot. And sometimes I repeat myself.

TUCKER CARLSON: I have a better idea. Why not call it “un-news.”

LAURA INGRAHAM: ha… I kind of like that. That has a ring to it. Un-news. Fake un-news.

JEREMY: Umm. How can I say this. This is not news, un-news, fake news, or anything of the sort. It is a satirical article for Notaries. They get bored, my job is to inform and entertain.

TUCKER: CARLSON: Good point. It isn’t fake news, and it shouldn’t be. We would never publish anything like this. Why would we? Why would anyone? Why would you? It doesn’t make the world a better place, not does it make your life any better.

JEREMY: I like to write useful information sometimes and other times I like to write about nonsense. Why not. I write it because I have freedom of press just as long as I don’t try to promote it on Facebook.

LAURA INGRAHAM: Yes, Facebook thinks that freedom of press is a risk to national security, at least if it is on their platform.

JEREMY: I think that the problem is that Zuckerberg learned Chinese, and started thinking like they do over there — repression. But, I learned Chinese and feel the opposite. But, I studied in Taiwan and have a Taiwanese accent in Chinese. Hmm. If I learn a Peking accent will that change my world view?

TUCKER CARLSON: It might change your worldview and it should. Where you live affects your consciousness. It always does, and there is no denying it. In fact, where you live affects your way of thinking to such a degree, that you should strongly consider not living in a place that makes you think like a freedom hating control freak.

JEREMY: Unless you like being a freedom hating control freak. Some people like that kind of thing — especially in California where I live.

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April 25, 2021

The Biden presidency is better than I thought

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 5:56 am

The thing I dislike about Biden is that he doesn’t keep most of his promises. However, the promises he didn’t keep were things I didn’t want him to do anyway which is why I am happy with him as a president…. so far.

He said he was against a border wall — yet, he says that America is not ready to accept thousands of Honduran refugees. My opinion is that we can’t take care of our own people, so how in hell are we going to take care of thousands of homeless refugees. The problem is so bad that Mexico is considering building a wall and making the Hondurans pay for it — or so it seems based on their brutal police behavior towards the migrants.

Biden said he was against walls, yet DC is filled with fences and walls to keep the Americans out. If there is one thing Biden is afraid of, it is red blooded patriots!

Biden said he would make everyone in America wear a mask for three months or so, but he only made that requirement in Federal buildings, planes and trains. Masks are ALREADY required in those types of places. So, once again, Biden is not so bad.

And then he shut down a pipeline costing 12,000 oil workers their jobs, but hopefully being step one in saving the environment. What good is freedom if the environment is ruined, right?

Not an issue, because Biden also has a 12 step plan to rid us of silly things like freedom and civil rights — he will unveil that once the time is right. But, if we don’t like the plan, we won’t be able to discuss it on Parler as that has been disabled — at least as of late January 2021.

Never mind that Biden cannot pronounce the word “urban.” It’s okay. He’s doing all the things I want him to do and none of the things I don’t want him to do. But, there is one thing I will miss. I love how Trump confronts everyone, gets lots done, and most of all, the way he says the word, “China!!!”

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April 19, 2021

What if Covid was more like a real horror movie

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:28 am

The way people are behaving and what we see in the news is identical to some previous horror movies about infections diseases of the future. The whole reason this Covid fiasco is even possible is that the media has way too much influence, people are too quick to blindly accept whatever fake news you feed them, and that people travel so much that diseases can effectively spread all over the world in weeks.

But, what if the behavior conformed more to how Hollywood would film a film about Covid?

MARIA: Oh my God, the news. Mom. the news. It’s China again. People are dying in the streets.

MOM: That could happen here. Look at all those half naked wretched looking people with their eyeballs hanging out of their sockets dying from Covid. I always knew this would happen because I watch too many sci-fi thrillers. But, honestly the make up is much better in this one.

MARIA: Mom — that’s not make up, it’s real.

MOM: I’m immune to it. All those horror movies are like a vaccine against reality for me. I’m good. But, that Chinese lady on the left — great acting, all the screaming and everything like she lost everything.

MARIA: She DID lose everything and can’t go to him home for three months. They’re going to harness her to a bed where she can’t move.

(One Month Later)

RALPH: Maria, you told me this killer disease would be here in a few weeks and it’s here. I’m terrified.

MARIA: I”m over being terrified. I got it out of my system being scared last month.

RALPH: I’m scared every month. People keep getting infected, and when they do, their hair falls out and they turn grey with this crazed look on their face. It’s just like the wreaper disease.

MOM: It’s like curse of the living dead. And the only thing that can save us is the vaccine which won’t come out until next episode if we’re lucky.

MARIA: This isn’t a movie. It’s real mom!

MOM: I guess it would be more real to me if I actually knew people who got sick.

(Another Month Later)

RALPH: I was in bed for two weeks unable to move. Now, all I want to do is infect others.

MARIA: Ralph, you’re missing half your teeth, half your hair, and are walking around with your hands out forward like a zombie.

RALPH: I know. If you were paying more attention, you would notice that I am dragging my lifeless left foot along as well. I’m going to infect you after I scream like a teradaktyl and cough up some blood. ooops. I’m low on coughable blood. I’ll have to put that on the list next time I go to CVS if they even let me in.

MARIA: You evil fiend. I can’t believe the Ralph I know has turned into something so crazed and evil. But, on a brighter note, I can tell mom. She loves this type of stuff. She will probably know several movie references to your behavior.

(5 months later. Ralph dies a slow death having his skin eaten up by a rare infection and turning into a walking corpse.)

SANDRA: I’m sorry about Ralph. But, those of us who have not been infected and turned into zombies need to find a way to get —- the vaccine. It is the only solution.

MOM: But, you can’t get the vaccine without being notarized, and most notaries have become teradaktyl zombies. If you come into contact with them, you will become like them.

MARIA: Are there any Notaries who are still normal?

MOM: There are, but they are too afraid to go near anyone.

SANDRA: I just went outside. There is a line of people going on for hundreds of miles. The government has come to the rescue. Millions of people are going without food, showers, or medical care to stand in line for this vaccine. And they all look like zombies. Their brains have turned to mush and mentally they look like they aren’t even mentally there.

MOM: We should go and see that line.

SANDRA: It’s right down mainstream.

PEOPLE IN LINE: Vaccine….. vaccine…. we need the vaccine.

MARIA: Their clothes are all ripped and their hair is all disheveled.

MOM: I know, it’s just like that zombie apocalypse movie I saw at universal. Great for Halloween. (ring ring)

THOMAS: Mom, you gotta think quick. Rumor has gotten out, that the last stash of the vaccine is at your house.)

MOM: Oh no. All of those zombies will surround our house, break the windows, and then eat us alive looking for the vaccine.

MARIA: But, they are braindead zombies. The vaccine might protect them from Covid-19, but not from the more serious problem that they have which is that they are zombies who believe everything the lamestream media feeds them and all without even the slightest of questioning.

MOM: I don’t think they even need to censor information. The news can just tell them not to read it and people are so obedient towards complete strangers that they won’t read it. It’s like they are under some spell of a higher level spirit like Amalek.

THOMAS: You can leave my Amalek out of it…. Oh, no… Amalak. I was thinking of our little cat Amali. That’s different. Amalek is the spirit of deception and distortion. He is supposed to be a bad guy according to the ancient Hebrews.

MARIA: Oh no, the house is already surrounded. But, some zombie police are there in their beaten up police cars, torn police uniforms and dented night sticks. This really is like a horror movie.

MOM: So, when does it end?

THOMAS: When Fauci gets fired!

MARIA: Now you’re talking. If he gets fired, does that mean I no longer have to wear a mask?

THOMAS: It could lead to that.

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April 9, 2021

Biden; Pipelines; The Economy; and Jobs (or the lack of them)

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 5:54 am

I guess I’m getting used to President Biden now. I am less put off when he speaks, forgets what he is talking about, or trips and falls. I think that he is not trying as hard. His voice doesn’t put so much emphasis on his keywords like “DIG-nity”, and “UN-ity.” He is saying these words in a less affected tone of voice which is pleasant. He is being more himself now rather than doing play acting which is refreshing. I never liked operettas anyway, although the songs are nice. But, the silver lining in the Biden presidency is that Kamala is a cool and stylish person and hopefully will designate masala dosa to being our new national dish, or at least our national top ethnic dish — high in protein and not lacking in taste especially if you use the “gun powder” seasoning — and yes, it’s spicy.

Pipelines
Biden put many pipeline people out of work. I am pro-environment, but putting people out of work doesn’t “work” for me. I prefer the idea of starting a solar program and putting those pipeline guys to work doing something OTHER than fossil fuel related. But, now we have less energy production, and dangerous countries like Venezuela, Russia, and Bahrain (It’s near Iran & Saudi Arabia) are going to benefit from Biden’s energy move – at least for now. But, I heard that we would have more solar jobs down the pipeline — bad analogy, but a good thought. The bottom line is that less Americans will have job, and the other Americans will have to pay more for imported energy resources. Sounds like a lose lose.

Minimum Wage
The economic departments know that when you raise minimum wage, you get higher unemployment. You don’t need a PhD to figure this out. If you price a product too expensive so that people can’t afford it, they won’t buy it. Beginner workers, or workers with drug problems or who are questionable, or just not that good will be a lot more likely to be unemployed. But, Biden and America don’t seem upset about this… yet. But, once unemployment hits 20%, even Trump haters will be scratching their heads. Some workers are worth $3 per hour, so they will be permanently unemployed even if minimum wage is $3.10. These people turn to selling drugs, robbing, and loafing as there are no other alternatives. Many people are in this situation already, but society ignores them.

Notaries
Biden wants many freelancers to be classified as employees. It will be a lot more paperwork and risk for signing companies to hire notaries as employees. They might have to play social security tax, unemployment, and other taxes on Notaries. It might get a lot more expensive to hire notaires, and notaries might be unemployed. 123notary might lose half its members. The future looks dreary. On the other hand, perhaps Biden won’t make any executive orders about this, or perhaps the courts won’t allow it.

Already in California, many people who worked freelance have left the state because they can’t get hired due to the AB5 bill which classifies many freelancers as people who must be defined as employees.

SUMMARY
Although I care deeply about the environment, I think that it would be better if Biden can offer incentives for companies to develop solar infrastructure. But, this industry is so weak in the USA. China leads the world in solar, so Biden might just be helping his friends in China sell solar panels to us. Creating a boat to jump to energy-wise seems a lot smarter than sinking our existing fossil fuel boat prematurely. We’ll find out the hard way. A carbon tax would be a good place to begin.

But, in general, life would be so much better and profitable for almost all parties if the government would just shut up and back off. Now you know what I put my parents through — hint, hint!

A PARTING THOUGHT
I really like the idea of a solar pipeline. I’m not sure how that would work though.Maybe batteries charged by windmills could go on a conveyor belt through a pipeline. I wonder what Native Americans would say about that type of pipeline — I don’t think it would leak which is a huge improvement over the old kind.

Biden is not being realistic about solar energy. It will take time to develop a mature solar program. It has to start in a healthy way, grow, and become efficient. Currently there are no huge solar companies in the USA, only tiny ones. Coming up for a way to nourish the fast growth of free-market green companies is my goal. Maybe America will come to its senses and start talking about that.

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February 13, 2021

Fighting tyranny my way

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 3:14 am

In order to fight the Marxismization of the USA, and tyranny, we must understand the power structure and how to apply pressure at the various levels of the chain of command.

TOP: Deep State & State Supreme Court Judges

MIDDLE: Governors

LOWER: Police & Sheriff & County Health Departments

LOWER(ER) Businesses subjected to unfair restrictions

LOWEST: We the people!!! (low, but dignified)

CHECK & BALANCE: Federal courts sometimes can help resolve local issues. I am not an Attorney and don’t know how that works. but, our checks and balances have been infiltrated by Marxists who oppose freedom of religion because it would be “suicide” according to a Federal circuit court in regards to a California case about freedom of assembly within religious buildings.

HOW I SEE IT

The deep state appears to be bribing judges and governors in many if not all states. Nobody quite knows who they are or how to stop them… for now. China might possibly be involved too. My psychic senses tell me the deep state is a bunch of rich board members who mostly live in Idaho who want power (but live off the grid so they have to generate their own power.) Unless you are a very good spy, it will be hard to figure out who the deep state is, but I think Trump is working on it.

The Supreme Court can shut down the power of a Governor to make executive orders, but they very rarely do, and when they do, they take forever. In California it took eight months for them to stop Newsom from making executive orders that contradict existing legislature. However, he still has orders that contradict with laws about discrimination against people with breathing disabilities via his face mask order.

The police in Los Angeles DO NOT enforce Covid related laws. They also do not protect us from discrimination as they see that as an issue for Attorneys.

The health department can shut down restaurants for disobeying orders that are arbitrary, tyrannical and unconstitutional that did not go through a system of checks and balances.

We the people in California sit and watch our rights being stripped from us by autocrats and oligarchies that do not function in an American system of checks and balances made by arbitrary orders that are not even laws and are far from constitutional as they normally violate our liberty and our freedom to assemble.

THE SOLUTION
California’s solution is to recall the governor, and we have gotten almost a million signatures. But, recalling takes time, and there is no guarantee that the next idiot in charge will be any better than the original as they are controlled by the same deep state and are not subjected to a system of checks and balances as the court system is limp and mainly dysfunctional.

I suggest a system of concerned citizens putting pressure on all levels of the system.

We should put daily pressure on the police and sheriffs to protect houses of worship from tyrannical shutdowns and allow businesses to function normally with full rights.

We the people should put pressure on the health department to not enforce covid-19 restrictions. The penalty for non-compliance with citizen demands would be severe harassment, protests and mass civil disobedience.

Restaurants, stores, churches, and other entities should stay open and defy oppressive attempts from authoritative organizations to suppress them. Fines for noncompliance should not be paid out of principle no matter what the consequence — even if it is jail time.

The supreme court judges or justices should be tried on charges of treason for failing in their duty to provide checks and balances and stop unconstitutional orders from being originated.

SUMMARY
The basic problem of the disaster of California is seen as a problem with a single human being — namely Gavin Newsom. He is a big problem, but I believe he is only responsible for less than 1% of California’s problems with unfair executive orders. The remaining percent of the problems are due to the fact that the courts allow him to do anything, law and health enforcement don’t stop him, and we the people sit and do nothing.

Covid-19 restrictions are not something temporary that will just go away. They are part of a larger undermining of American freedom and government that will strip us of our rights, money, freedom, government, culture, and anything that means anything to us. We will be completely destroyed if we don’t fight back. You cannot rely on Donald Trump alone to save you because he hasn’t saved anyone. Biden will sell us down the river. It is up to we the people to save America. Start putting pressure on the various levels of authority now!

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