Welcome to the Notary Dating Show. I’m your host Jeremy! Tonight we have a fun crowd. Tony wants to meet a nice Notary from the female gender, and boy do we have some choices for him. We have Tammy, Mandy, and Wendy, all of whom are interesting young ladies who are not only fun — but, they’re experienced! I know if Jimmi Hendrix dated a Notary, he would want an experienced one, but let’s see how Tony feels. Now, let’s introduce Tony!
JEREMY: Tony! Welcome to the show.
TONY: It’s great to be here. I just can’t believe this is happening. I’ve been finding all the wrong girls. I just can’t relate to them.
JEREMY: Do you think — that it’s because they’re not Notaries?
TONY: That might very well be Jeremy. It is a distinct possibility.
JEREMY: Okay… Now, we have three young ladies from the female gender on the other side of that curtain. You can each ask each other a few questions, and then decide who you want to meet.
TONY: Well, how do I know if they’re hot if I only get to see them after the questions?
JEREMY: We do it this way to reduce the element of distraction.
TONY: Oh, got it….
TAMMY: Hi Tony. I’m Tammy. I just wanted to know, have you ever notarized a paraplegic?
TONY: Hmm, I can’t say that I have. That sounds a bit hair raising.
TAMMY: Well, his hair was the only thing he could raise. He couldn’t move his arms and had to sign by putting a pen in his mouth.
TONY: Oh my God. That must have been a very memorable signing. I feel sorry for the guy.
TAMMY: Me too. I just wish I could do something to make it up to him.
TONY: Well, it’s not your fault that he has that problem.
MANDY: Hi, I’m Mandy. So, have you ever done it in an airplane? I mean notarized someone at an altitude of a mile high or higher?
TONY: Actually, I met someone in an airport for a signing. We met at the airport Starbucks. He was so high on caffeine that he was about to fly away before the plane even docked.
WENDY: Hi, I’m Wendy. The other day, I notarized an accomplice to a murder. I got such a rush out of that. I was wondering what the most hair raising notarization you have ever done was.
TONY: Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that…. I notarized a cartel boss at Men’s Central. He was the silent type. Very unnerving.
WENDY: So, he didn’t offer you a coupon for his “products?”
TONY: Very funny. I stay clear of that type of thing.
JEREMY: So, Tony, which girl did you like the most?
TONY: Hmm, I kind of like Tammy. She takes a lot of concern for others who she doesn’t even know. I just wonder if she is as nice to people who she does know, even when they become the same old thing after half a year of dating.
TAMMY: You’ll find out!
JEREMY: That’s right, you will find out because your first date has been scheduled for Le Jurat — enjoy notarial foods including certified angus beef, soup du jurat, and embossed giant oreo cookies a la mode. The valet will need your parking stub to be notarized, and don’t forget to ask the waiter when your 1st payment is due –that is a tradition to ask at this restaurant where almost all of the clients are loan signing agents! After six months of dating Tammy you will find out how she treats people who are no longer new and exciting, but let’s just start with the first date!
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