Notary Butt Dialing – No Ifs ands or Butts
When it comes to Notary butt dialing, there are no ifs, ands, or butts. One Notary had a cell phone with a waterproof case. His acupuncturist spilled massage oil all over his last phone, ruining it. So, the Notary bought a waterproof case that gradually disintegrated over time to the point where the lock screen button in the plastic fell off. So, the Notary couldn’t lock his phone without sticking a key through the plastic to the phone’s actual metal button – and putting the metal to the metal.
So, just once, this Notary decided not to lock the phone as he put it in his pocket. He put it on the page with the 16 icons and thought — what are the chances the iphone will have the green phone icon pressed? That’s one out of 16, and if it does, what are the chances it will actually call someone. After, two minutes, the phone had already called two people this Notary actually really wanted to talk to whom he hadn’t talked to in years. He was starting to trust his butt more than his fingers!
But, what if you butt-dialed an actual signing company? Would they think that the Notary was an actual butt-head? Would the two of them butt heads together?
At least the notary wasn’t just sitting on his butt like the feeling you get from lenders who are late in sending documents. This notary’s butt was being proactive! And rather than risk a traffic ticket or his life while talking into his cell while driving, this notary could butt-dial and drive at the same time. Driver’s seats should come equipped with built-in cell phones. Rear-view mirrors, welcome your new modern cousin – rear-sensitive seats!
If smartphones can let you digitally sign for things, it might not be long before we see smartphones for butt-dialing clients. By flexing the precise posterior muscle, maybe someday they’ll be able to sign documents in remote locations. Face to face notary encounters, make way for butt cheek to butt cheek encounters.
And now for my reBUTTal: One notary accidentally butt-dialing someone he might want to do business with is like hitting the lottery – the odds are against it. The stories of desperate gamblers who think otherwise too often REAR their ugly heads. END of story. Now if you’ll excuse me, my butt is calling.
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