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November 7, 2021

America Last Title

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:10 am

Many Notaries worked for First American Title during the Trump administration. But, now that Biden has taken over, America Last Title has had phenomenal growth in market share.

But, I’m not worried. If American banking goes South, we can always rely on the Bank of China to bail us out! I’m tempted to say that we’ll already be eating Xiao-Leng-Bao and Jian-Bing, but I already am, and found a great place in Rowland Heights in a food court. Hand made and Shan-Dong province style. Love it.

Somehow I think that the majority of Americans want America to fail. But, when they can’t afford to eat or pay bills, they will reconsider. By then it will be too late. But, they can still get a job at America Last Title… maybe.

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August 14, 2021

Being a notary vs. waiting on table

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:00 am

When I have new notaries on board, I normally give them a welcome call. I asked one guy what his professional background was. He told me he was a Notary for a month. I told him that a month doesn’t constitute a professional background, but that a 20 year teaching background would. Then he said that he was a Real Estate intern for half a year. Finally, I asked him, “Are you young?” I forget that young people don’t have a professional background or necessarily know what one is. But, if they keep having a boring and dull life going into the office, they will attain one in 10 short years. But, what about being a waiter?

WAITER: Welcome to Mel’s Diner, can we interest you in a drink?

CUSTOMER: I’ll have the jackhammer.

WAITER: Can I see some ID?

CUSTOMER: I’ll sign the journal, but I won’t thumbprint.

WAITER: Hmmm. So, what’s your sign?

CUSTOMER: I’m a Leo.

WAITER: So, you were born, July 28th, 1997.

CUSTOMER: You are trying to trick me. I was born the 29th.

WAITER: I wasn’t trying to trick you. I have bad eyesight. And I don’t use a journal because my state doesn’t require waiters to use a journal.

NOTARY: You sound like a Notary in one of those states that doesn’t require journals. But, when you get busted by the FBI and the journal is your only evidence that you weren’t involved in a serious act of fraud, you could get put in jail or end up in court forever.

WAITER: Good point. What if someone orders an illegal drink with a fake ID, I don’t keep a record of it, and he gets in his car, runs someone over, and I get blamed. That “journal of official waitorial acts” could be my only defense.

CUSTOMER: I never thought of that. You know, you CAN thumbprint me. I even brought my NNA thumbprinter.

NOTARY: Are you a Notary too?

CUSTOMER: Not yet, but I’m going to become one, and I’m learning something right here about being a Notary. It can be a dangerous job if something goes wrong.

NOTARY: It’s like driving. It’s safe 99.9% of the time, and then something unusual happens and then only your seatbelt can help.

WAITER: Many people don’t like precautions unless they sound like Covid-19 precautions — then they like endless restrictions and precautions.

CUSTOMER: If I were running this joint I would say — you can have that jackhammer, BUT ONLY if you sign this journal. But, you can’t sign the journal unless you wash your hands three times and say hail Mary, and then walk around in a circle counter clockwise, use a sanitized pen, and then sign it wearing an N-95 facemask.

NOTARY: How about sound effects. If someone orders a jackhammer, shouldn’t that come with sound effects. Maybe get some sampling?

WAITER: How about this? “Chu chuh chuh chuh chuh…… HEY SULLY, we’re that pipe you brought ovuh? chuh chuh chuh chuh …. WHAT? I CAN”T HEAR YOU. I got my ear plugs on.”

CUSTOMER: Wow, that changed the whole customer experience in an even better way than those meaningless restrictions.

WAITER: Sully says he likes the part about the hail Mary as you go around three times.

NOTARY: Is Sully a real person?

WAITER: He’s real to me! So, let me guess. Would you like to try a virgin Notarita?

NOTARY: Sounds great, but the drink sounds underaged. I don’t want to get in trouble.

CUSTOMER: It’s okay, the drink has been aged 21 years. We just need to make sure that you are of proper age and sound of mind.

NOTARY: Here’s my ID. Wow, this is like life in reverse.

WAITER: So you could notarize that drink because it’s old enough.

NOTARY: It’s age is passing, but it doesn’t have an ID.

WAITER: But, it does have a signature — in fact it’s our signature drink.

NOTARY: In that case, that makes it okay. So, honestly, are all of your clients as interesting as us?

WAITER: Some are a lot more interesting. But, it’s hit and miss, especially the ones who forgot their ID.

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June 12, 2021

Notarizing Paul Revere

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:45 am

A Notary was bored, and invested in a time machine. He wanted to see how people lived in different times and places. So, he set the machine to send him to ancient Egypt to see the pyramids in Giza. But, the machine malfunctioned and he ended up in the Boston area in 1775.

The Notary got out of his British looking phone booth, and walked around on a dirt road bewildered thinking, “Where am I? This doesn’t look like Egypt. I want some felafel.”

A crazy guy on a horse almost ran him over screaming, “The redcoats are coming — The British are coming.” The British were leaving Boston to march to Concord to confiscate some ammunition, weapons, gunpowder, etc., from the colonials.

NOTARY: Hey watch where you’re going.

PAUL REVERE: You shouldn’t walk in the middle of the road lad, it’s dangerous.

NOTARY: And learn to signal your turns. It’s common courtesy.

PAUL REVERE: I’ll work on it. Wait a second, what century are you from. Those are very odd clothes.

NOTARY: Ay lad… now I’m talking like you guys. I’m from the future and my time machine broke.

PAUL REVERE: We can’t even get gun powder easily here in the middle of a revolution, so I don’t think I can help you. But, do you know where I can get a good Notary Public?

NOTARY: Ay laddie, I’m a notary, and I brought my stamp. It doesn’t expire for a while, but I’m commissioned in Massachusetts

PAUL REVERE: Massachusetts colony?

NOTARY: It becomes a state. There are 50 states in my time.

PAUL REVERE: 50 lad? My head is spinning. Next thing you tell me is that we become the most powerful country in the world, and they give partial credit to me just for riding Barnie around screaming the news.

NOTARY: Actually, you become a well loved historical figure. Here, can you sign your John Hancock here?

PAUL REVERE: I know John. He’s an acquaintance of mine. He lives in Massachusetts you know. Born here and will probably die here.

NOTARY: His signature will become famous. He will sign the Declaration of Independence in another year or so.

PAUL REVERE: Wow, so I’m going to be famous and he is too. I’ll drink to that. Jump on back, I’m going to Monroe Tavern in Lexington to warn the locals, and then on to Concord. Just let me sign your log book, I hope this is not considered backdating by about 240 years, but… as they say in the valley — what… ever… Please stamp my document. Do you need wax for that?

NOTARY: We don’t use wax in my time.

PAUL REVERE: Okay, we’ll have a pint in Lexington, and then on to Concord. Then we can try to see what we can do about time machines. Hey, I have a friend in Phili who loves gadgets and futuristic inventions. His name is Ben Franklin — great with the ladies. We can ask him to ride up. It’s only a few days Southwest of here.

NOTARY: I guess I’m stuck here, so we’ll have hasty pudding, drinks and do some sniper attacks on the red coats in the mean time.

PAUL REVERE: Good. Are you good with a musket?

NOTARY: Gee, we’re a little close on this horse. So much for social distancing.

PAUL REVERE: Don’t worry, I don’t have smallpox. Onward ho…. Yee Haw!!!

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June 10, 2021

Comments on good journal entry procedure

Filed under: Journals — admin @ 3:09 am

I have written thorough information on journal keeping in other articles. But, here is a summary of some of the more critical points.

1. KEEP A JOURNAL – or else. Even if your state does not require you to keep a journal, it is your only evidence if investigated by the FBI or if summoned to appear before a Judge. This happens more than you think to Notaries so be prepared and keep records in a journal.

2. Don’t forget to enter the type of NOTARY ACT that you are performing in the journal. This is generally a Jurat, Acknowledgment, Oath or Affirmation. Copy Certification might be considered a Jurat in some states, but you could put both names to be thorough.

3. Obviously enter the ID INFORMATION in your journal unless you live in a state that forbids that. Otherwise you have no evidence that you looked at their ID. Make sure the photo looks like them and that the signature on the ID matches the one in the journal and the document. If you want to get cute, ask them their sign and see if it matches their birthday.

4. THUMBPRINTS are almost foolproof. ID’s can be faked, but all thumbprints in the planet are unique to a particular individual. To deter fraud and help the FBI catch very very bad people (and yes we have stories from 123notary members about exactly this.) then keep a thumbprint for all notarized documents in your journal. NNA sells a nice journal with room for thumbprints and you need an inkless thumbprint pad too which is not expensive.

5. DOCUMENT DATES
Most people don’t know what a document date is or what it means. It is an arbitrary date inscribed within the document which normally corresponds to the date the document was drafted or signed. It is yet another indication of which document you are dealing with, just in case you notarize two documents from the same signer with the same document name.

6. SIGNATURES
Signers must sign all journal entries that pertain to documents that they are being notarized on.

7. PRICES. The price you are charging the signers should be indicated in the journal. If you are charging a travel fee, or a flat fee for a mobile signing, indicate this somehow in your records, perhaps on the top entry of a particular signing.

8. ADDITIONAL NOTES? The NNA journal has a section for additional notes. If you have credible witnesses, they sign there. If you notice anything unusual about the signing, write it down as that could jog your memory when you are in court several years after the fact. It is hard to remember all of your signings and roughly 15% of our full-time Notaries who have been around for several years have been to court due to Notary related reasons.

9. STORAGE. Keep your used journals in a safe and dry place. You might get a query for an old journal entry and you need to be able to find them. Your Notary division might want your journals if you quit your commission or you expire, so keep them where you can find them where nobody will steal them.

That’s all for today!

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June 6, 2021

Widening your net — an advertising strategy

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 11:26 am

Are you a mobile notary? If you are reading this, the answer is most likely yes. Most people want more business, but can’t figure out how to get it. I have written many articles on this topic. But, let’s look at it from a new point of view.

COUNTIES
Most Notaries advertise in a handful of counties. From time to time we get someone who only does their home county, and might begrudgingly go to a close neighboring county, but only if you pay enough. This is not the attitude of growth and success. Then there are those who go everywhere.

Number crunching has proven to me that those who have lots of counties get far more clicks. If you have one county, you might get half a click per day. But, each extra county you have your clicks go up by (.1) or more clicks per day. If you have twenty counties, you will get a lot of clicks.

You might be thinking that you will have to drive too far and it is not worth it. But, by driving far, you get new clients, more work, and more experience under your belt (assuming you wear a belt, some wear suspenders.)

If you agree to go farther, you need to charge more. But, if you are new, you can work for cheap in order to widen your net. I got many new clients by going where others refused to go. Or if Star Trek wrote this — those Notaries went where no Notary had gone before…

ASK FOR MORE REVIEWS
If you ask everyone who likes your work for a review, you get more reviews. Normally you have to ask ten people for a review, and email each of them a link, and then get an average of one review. By widening the net of who you ask, you can get more reviews. It is a similar concept as my strategy about counties.

WIDEN YOUR NOTES
Most Notaries don’t write enough in their notes. Those who do write don’t always strike a chord with what they write. Writing fluffy content that doesn’t grab your attention, or using baseless adjectives about how great you are will alienate readers. Cold hard facts organized well with a warm fuzzy description about what you are like is my winning philosophy. But, the attitude of writing more notes and then having me review it (free as a courtesy of course) you are widening your net. This costs nothing, but few really put in the effort. It’s a lot easier than driving three more hours per day.

BE ON MORE DIRECTORIES
More directories = more calls. Some are worth paying, most are not. But, if you never try them you will never know. We recommend particular directories. Read our other blogs in the advertising section and find out.

GET MORE CERTIFICATIONS
Why only get LSS or NNA certifications. Get more. If you advertise with 123notary, get ours too. If you want more knowledge, try the Notary2Pro certification — that is what we recommend the most although it is not that popular these days. More certifications = more 3rd party credibility from reliable sources. If you say how great you are you come across as cheesy, but if your reviews from title companies say you are great and you have four or five certifications, then nobody will argue whether you are great or not.

EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE
Some people will only study if it is “assigned.” These are what I call sheeple or beta-people. They never think for themselves but only follow others. Knowledge is power. If you are rock solid on your notary knowledge and industry knowledge and practice communicating well without rambling or giving indirect answers, this is a marketing strategy. It is not widening your net per se, but strengthening your chance of turning a call into a job. People are impressed by solid knowledge, not snow jobs! So, keep getting knowledge. A little every day adds up, especially if you master what you know.

HIGHER PLACEMENT
Many people like higher placement on 123notary and it is a potent advertising strategy, but that is different from widening your net. That is more like deepening your net, or heightening it… or something.

SUMMARY
There are many ways to widen or expand your advertising net, and this strategy pays off big time. I used it myself and I became full-time as a mobile notary which most Notaries cannot do. There are other ways to expand your reach as well like social media and networking. I strongly suggest the widening strategy! It works!

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May 1, 2021

Precautions as a notary are like wearing your seat belt

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 6:28 am

One out of seven seasoned Notaries I talked to has ended up in court at least once. Generally this happens because of something outside of the Notary’s control. Fraud, theft, or someone taking advantage of a confused elder are the main reasons for court cases.

Notaries who have never been to court think it will never happen to them. It is like car accidents. Bad ones do not happen much, but when they do, if you are not wearing a seatbelt and/or don’t have good airbags, you might be in big trouble. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t happen tomorrow, or in twenty years. So, take precautions. Think of these as wearing a facemask if that makes it more relatable.

If a signer is senile, elderly, in a hospital or nursing home, make sure you can identify they correctly and that they can explain to you what they are signing. Don’t ask yes or no questions as they will say yes to anything and are probably on morphine and not all there. If they go over the document point by point, then they know what they are signing today. They might not remember a year from now though, and that is dangerous for you if it goes to court.

Your journal is your only evidence, so if you say, “My state doesn’t require a journal” you are a fool. The state might not require it, but a judge or investigator needs the journal as that is your only evidence of what actually happened.

PRECAUTIONS
1. Make sure the name on the ID proves the name on the document. Don’t use the “you can have more but not less” rule, because notaries always forget which document you can have more on – the ID or the document. So, remember my rule. “The name on the ID must prove the name on the document.” The ID name can be matching but longer, or matching and identical to prove the name.

2. Take a thumbprint unless your state forbids it. I personally might take a thumbprint anyway in Texas because the state forbids selling or distributing that information and not taking it — and that is your only hard evidence of the identity of the signer. Fake ID’s abound, but fake thumbprints do not.

3. In the “Additional Notes” section of your journal write down about the situation, the mental state of the signer, who else is there, and that the signer explained the document to you. This could save your rear if you go to court three years later because you will not remember what happened off the top of your head. Write down anything else noteworthy about the situation to job your memory when investigated.

4. Decline jobs that are too sketchy or if you are unsure that the signer knows what is going on.

5. Have the signer verify who the other people are with them if they are elderly. Sometimes they are not related and sometimes they are scamming the signer.

6. Make sure you know how to give Oaths correctly. You could lose your commission if a judge finds out otherwise.

SUMMARY
I was investigated 3 times, but had my paperwork and thumbprints in order. It took me minutes to query jobs done a year or so ago since I had a stack of journals all in chronological order. I always identified people correctly and took notes in my journal for credible witnesses and other pertinent facts. Be sure to do the same, or even more. If you do everything correctly, you still might end up in court, but it will be a shorter case as you have more compelling evidence as to what happened — especially the thumbprint which is your only hardcoded proof of identity.

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April 13, 2021

The “It can be more but not less” rule

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 6:26 am

Don’t learn this rule. It is interpreted backwards as often as it is interpreted correctly, or scrambled completely.

BAD RULE: “It can be more but not less” rule.
APPLICATION: You can SIGN more but not less…
QUESTION: More but not less than WHAT?
More but not less than what it says on the ID or the document?

This stupid quick rule does not elaborate what you can sign more than and also misses a very critical point. If you cannot prove the name on the document using a photo ID, then you are taking a huge risk as a Notary.

Different states have different standards for identification. Georgia requires you to look at the ID but doesn’t mention whether the ID should match (might be outdated information, but that was what I read a few years ago.) California requires the name on the document to be proven based on the ID and also requires thumbprints for powers of attorney and deeds affecting real property (smart move.) But, regardless of the state, taking precautions and keeping thorough records can keep you out of court and shorten the length of investigations.

BAD RULE: “You can always sign more.”
QUESTION: More than WHAT?
Don’t use rules that leave ambiguities otherwise you will miss critical points due to an omission in the logical process.

JEREMY’S RULE: “The ID must prove the name on the document.”
Interpretation: The name on the ID can be matching and identical or matching but longer than the name typed in the signature section of the document. Additionally, the name you put in the Acknowledgment section should be provable based on the ID. It is possible to put a shorter name on the Acknowledgement than the name signed or printed on the document.

Example.
If the ID says John Smith
But, the document printed name says John W Smith
You could notarize this person as John Smith even if the person signs John W Smith.
Would the title company get mad at you? Would the county recorder record the notarization? Not sure, but at least you would not be breaking notary law by notarizing this way!

JEREMY’S RULE #2: “You can sign more than how the name is printed in the signature section, but not less.”
COMMENT: This is a more elaborate and thorough version of the more but not less rule. If you memorize incomplete rules, you will make logic mistakes and could end up in court as a consequence. It doesn’t happen often, but it could eventually. Why take chances and why be a bad notary? Understand all of the aspects of notarization and yes — it is a lot more complicated than you thought and requires intricate thinking.

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April 12, 2021

10 things you need to know as a Signing Agent

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 7:28 am

Most people are confused when they begin their career as a Notary signing agent. They don’t know what they need to learn or do, or how to get clients. Those in the business for many years have the opposite problem. They think they know everything while they know very little — at least when I test them. Here is what I think Notaries should learn and how to learn it.

1. Be a good Notary. What does that entail?
You need to know the rules for each notary act and how to fill out forms. You also need to know how to administer Oaths correctly and few Notaries do this well or take it seriously. You can lose your commission if a judge finds out you didn’t give an Oath on any particular Affidavit, Jurat or sworn statement that you notarized. It is easy to learn how to do this, but few make it their business to know their job. Read your state’s notary manual regularly. You can also read blogs from NNA, 123notary or other Notary agencies. But, your state notary division is gospel, and the agencies are sometimes wrong — so treat their information as commentary. Keeping a journal is also imperative, because when you are in court, and 15% of serious Notaries end up before a judge sooner or later, your journal is your only evidence. The more thoroughly you keep your journal, the happier the judge will be with you. If you identify someone incorrectly or carelessly you might be empowering an imposter to steal a house from someone or commit fraud. We teach all of these points on our blog on Notary Public 101.

Summary of point 1.
Understanding All applicable Notary Acts, Identification procedures, Journal procedure, and Oaths are the bedrock of being a good Notary.

2. Understand The Right to Cancel
Residential owner occupied Refinances typically have a Right to Rescind document. Understanding how to date this document properly is not rocket science, but experienced Notaries flake and goof and get the dates wrong when I test them on a regular basis. It is not rocket sciencem, and no, the NASA website doesn’t cover this, it is a matter of counting to three and not counting Sundays or Federal Holidays.

3. Understand FAQ’s about loan signing.
When is my first payment due?
Where is my rate, APR?
Do I have a prepayment penalty and where is it?
Where are my closing costs and fees itemized?
Do I have to send a check or other documents not included in the package?
How long can I read my borrower’s copies before rescinding
How do I cancel my loan?

Many Notaries feel that they need to be experts at all of the documents. As a general rule, you should know the difference between the Correction Agreement LPOA and a Compliance Agreement, although there are so many variations in these documents that they are all different and you have to read each one — but, being familiar and knowledgeable about these document variations pays off as this is a FAQ that people are concerned about. Most loan signing courses go over this information and you should memorize this as people at signings will ask about it.

4. Understanding Reverse Mortgages, TRID, Helocs, Purchases, etc.
LSS’s course seems to do the best job teaching these types of loans (or documents) that are new in popularity over the last few years. Most signing courses were written ten or twenty years ago when Reverse Mortgages either didn’t exist or were not a popular item. Since as a Notary, you are not allowed to explain the terms of a person’s loan, but only allowed to help signers find information within the loan, it is NOT critical to understand these loans or documents, but make you look good if you did. So consider point four to be a plus, but not a necessity.

5. Explain or don’t explain
In our various blog courses we go over point by point what a Notary should explain or not explain. The 30 point course discusses this in detail. This is critical because otherwise you might get yourself in trouble talking about what you have no business of talking about. Or you might talk about something you know nothing about. Or, you might not answer a question which you should know the answer and express the answer about. Boy, this is complicated.

6. How to find new clients
There are many ways. We write about this in the marketing section of our blog, but you might have to scroll.

7. How to background screen clients
Not all clients are pleasant or pay on time. Use the 123notary or Notary Rotary forum to see which companies are worth working for. Please be informed that in the last two years there has been a drastic decline in forum commentary on our forum and on NotaryRotary’s, although theirs is much more well trafficked than ours. There is less quantity of reliable information about the various signing companies. But, still do your research.

8. How to collect from clients
Some people don’t pay on time, so you have to know how to keep records, how to bill people, and how to threaten them the right way if they keep you waiting for payment. We go over this in our courses.

9. Where to learn about general information
You should read the various blogs out there. NNA and 123notary have interesting blogs where you can learn and source information from antiquated entries on particular topics.

10. How to handle tricky situations
In Notary Public 101 we go over many sticky situations and explain how to think about them and how to handle them. Understanding this content makes you a more confident, trustworthy and safe Notary! It’s like a vaccine made out of knowledge!

Further Reading
As a general rule, I recommend getting certified by various entities, not just one. I recommend Notary Public 101 and the 30 Point Course in our blog as well as reading our blog articles about marketing and notarial issues in particular. LSS offers a very practical course that is more sensitive to what is going on in the industry now. Notary2Pro seems to churn out the best trained Notaries of any certification. 123notary has the hardest certification test and passing it will prove yourself better than the other certifications.

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April 9, 2021

Biden; Pipelines; The Economy; and Jobs (or the lack of them)

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 5:54 am

I guess I’m getting used to President Biden now. I am less put off when he speaks, forgets what he is talking about, or trips and falls. I think that he is not trying as hard. His voice doesn’t put so much emphasis on his keywords like “DIG-nity”, and “UN-ity.” He is saying these words in a less affected tone of voice which is pleasant. He is being more himself now rather than doing play acting which is refreshing. I never liked operettas anyway, although the songs are nice. But, the silver lining in the Biden presidency is that Kamala is a cool and stylish person and hopefully will designate masala dosa to being our new national dish, or at least our national top ethnic dish — high in protein and not lacking in taste especially if you use the “gun powder” seasoning — and yes, it’s spicy.

Pipelines
Biden put many pipeline people out of work. I am pro-environment, but putting people out of work doesn’t “work” for me. I prefer the idea of starting a solar program and putting those pipeline guys to work doing something OTHER than fossil fuel related. But, now we have less energy production, and dangerous countries like Venezuela, Russia, and Bahrain (It’s near Iran & Saudi Arabia) are going to benefit from Biden’s energy move – at least for now. But, I heard that we would have more solar jobs down the pipeline — bad analogy, but a good thought. The bottom line is that less Americans will have job, and the other Americans will have to pay more for imported energy resources. Sounds like a lose lose.

Minimum Wage
The economic departments know that when you raise minimum wage, you get higher unemployment. You don’t need a PhD to figure this out. If you price a product too expensive so that people can’t afford it, they won’t buy it. Beginner workers, or workers with drug problems or who are questionable, or just not that good will be a lot more likely to be unemployed. But, Biden and America don’t seem upset about this… yet. But, once unemployment hits 20%, even Trump haters will be scratching their heads. Some workers are worth $3 per hour, so they will be permanently unemployed even if minimum wage is $3.10. These people turn to selling drugs, robbing, and loafing as there are no other alternatives. Many people are in this situation already, but society ignores them.

Notaries
Biden wants many freelancers to be classified as employees. It will be a lot more paperwork and risk for signing companies to hire notaries as employees. They might have to play social security tax, unemployment, and other taxes on Notaries. It might get a lot more expensive to hire notaires, and notaries might be unemployed. 123notary might lose half its members. The future looks dreary. On the other hand, perhaps Biden won’t make any executive orders about this, or perhaps the courts won’t allow it.

Already in California, many people who worked freelance have left the state because they can’t get hired due to the AB5 bill which classifies many freelancers as people who must be defined as employees.

SUMMARY
Although I care deeply about the environment, I think that it would be better if Biden can offer incentives for companies to develop solar infrastructure. But, this industry is so weak in the USA. China leads the world in solar, so Biden might just be helping his friends in China sell solar panels to us. Creating a boat to jump to energy-wise seems a lot smarter than sinking our existing fossil fuel boat prematurely. We’ll find out the hard way. A carbon tax would be a good place to begin.

But, in general, life would be so much better and profitable for almost all parties if the government would just shut up and back off. Now you know what I put my parents through — hint, hint!

A PARTING THOUGHT
I really like the idea of a solar pipeline. I’m not sure how that would work though.Maybe batteries charged by windmills could go on a conveyor belt through a pipeline. I wonder what Native Americans would say about that type of pipeline — I don’t think it would leak which is a huge improvement over the old kind.

Biden is not being realistic about solar energy. It will take time to develop a mature solar program. It has to start in a healthy way, grow, and become efficient. Currently there are no huge solar companies in the USA, only tiny ones. Coming up for a way to nourish the fast growth of free-market green companies is my goal. Maybe America will come to its senses and start talking about that.

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April 1, 2021

Tips on notarizing dead people

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 5:18 am

Just for the record, it is illegal to notarize a dead person, so I advise that you don’t break the law in any way, shape or form. I also recommend that you defend the constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic. It is the domestic ones who are the worst these days. Since it is April Fools day, I took the liberty of publishing this silly article. Here are my points.

1. Six Feet Under
Dead people are normally six feet under which satisfies the social distancing requirements. Unfortunately it might be hard to see them and identify them if you are separated by six feet of dirt. But, you could improvise.

2. Notarizing Spirits
If you notarize a spirit, make sure the spirit has ID, and that it is good spirits. I’m not sure how that applies or what that means. I think a human might be in good spirits, if happy spirits are around us. I noticed that during the period of spiritual darkness in mid 2020 my mood declined due to the pervasive influence of malevolent spirits. I was told that would go away in April 2021. Let’s hope for the best.

3. Notarizing a Voice
If you notarize a voice for someone in an insane asylum, first of all realize that all of us hear voices. Some people hear them louder than others or more frequently. The problem is if you believe the voice. I am mildly clarevoyant and regularly talk to the spirit of my guru, healer spirits and a particular angel, but I know these “people” well and know what is in character for them to say. But, the voices that crazy people hear might be demonic spirits. The voices might be “real” , but not savory. But, the bottom line is that the voice must physically appear before you and present ID to be notarized.

4. Dead People Vote for Democrats
The joke is that living people usually vote for Republicans, but vote Democrat after they die. If you are notarizing ballots in any mail-in election, it might be hard to do signature verification on a dead person. It might require some creativity. But, in defense of states requiring notarized ballots, those states were not questioned by Trump’s Attorneys. So, Giuliani must have some faith in the notarization process. He should send some of his signature cigars out to Notaries who did a good job.

5. Half Dead
People who are half dead in a hospital who cannot think clearly or communicate well or hold a pen properly are prime risk for lawsuits. One in seven notaries on our site who has been in business full-time for several years ended up in court. If you want to increase your chances of appearing before a judge, engage in risky hospital notarizations. It pays to speak directly to the signer for hospital signings. If they are sleeping and cannot talk to you, that is a bad sign.

6. The Vaccine
My psychic says that those who take the vaccine will become infertile, genetically adulterated and become the living dead and we will have something like a zombie apocalypse of some sort. He said they would become something inhuman. I’m not sure about his credibility, but there is aluminum and some DNA strings that can affect your immunity in various ways which is not natural and scary. I wouldn’t take it. But, you might have to notarize the half dead one day so brace yourself.

7. Carmen
Carmen passed away in late July, 2020. She doesn’t need to be notarized in heaven, but if you want to chat with her, get used to communicating with the dead. She still has a good sense of humor and might give you some good tips.

Summary
This article is for comedic purposes only and you cannot legally notarize a dead person’s signature even if they signed before they died. Don’t try it.

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