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April 10, 2017

Documenting your Experience & Personal Style in your notes

Filed under: Your Notes Section — admin @ 7:18 am

A good notes section on a notary profile should cover many aspects. But, the first several paragraphs should talk about experience and personal style.

You can mention:
1. How many loans you have signed. You can mention how many years you have signed loans, but a # of loans is better.

2. Make a list of types of loans or financial products you have signed
Annuities, Applications, Cash Sales & Purchases, Debt Consolidations, Debt Settlements, eSignings, Helocs, Modifications, Purchases, Refinances (1sts, 2nds, Piggy Backs, FHA, VA, Conventional, Commercial, Residential), Reverse Mortgages, Seller’s Documents, Time Shares, and more…

3. Make a list of documents you have signed
Affidavits, Auto Titles, Boat Titles, Contracts, I-9’s, Living Wills, Permission for Minors to Travel, Powers of Attorney, Wills, and more.

4. Signing Agent since 1995.
Mentioning the year you started is better than counting how many years you have been doing this, otherwise you have to update your notes every year which you won’t remember and change it from nine years to ten years as a signing agent to eleven to I lost count or forgot!

5. Related Experience
If you are a Mortgage Broker, Originator, Escrow Officer, this is related experience and should come directly below your Notary Signing experience. It goes in the top part of your notes, but below the relevant experience. In short, put it in the bottom of the top of your notes if that makes sense (like anything else I say.)

6. Unrelated Experience
If you were a Realtor, Paralegal, Teacher, Programmer, or something unrelated, do not put this at the top of your notes. This is more of background information and goes somewhere in the bottom of your notes section. Realtors feel their experience makes them a better Notary and they feel they are “familiar with the docs,” but, they are not that familiar with I quiz them — not familiar at all. The Mortgage folks have relevant experience, the others do not.

7. Experience dealing with stressful situations
A few people who were police, military, or in customer service dealing with the most difficult of people can claim that they can diffuse stressful situations. This is a valuable skill that you can learn from unrelated professions. Dealing with people in general is very useful in the Notary world. The Notaries who get ahead have good people and business skills which are actually more important than your clerical Notary skills (but, don’t tell anyone I said that.)

8. Your personal style
Rather than use a bunch of baseless adjectives with commas between them to describe yourself, paint a picture of how you do your work and what sets you apart from the rest. Anything unique you can say about yourself will gain points. Do you triple check your work? Do you introduce yourself at the door? Will you stay until midnight if necessary? These are helpful things to know. Don’t just be professional, reliable and modest as all of our other notaries make the same claim.


April 7, 2017

The Noterator

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:10 am

There was a sudden rash of bad Notaries in America and nobody knew what to do. But, at the Secretary of State’s office, they had the solution. Since there was no way to bust each bad Notary one by one, they created a machine that could sense a bad Notary a mile away and terminate him. This machine was called, the Noterator.

NOTERATOR: Did you back date that document?

NOTARY: No, I swear I didn’t.

NOTERATOR: Hasta la vista — baby. (boom!!!)

A group of Notaries near by saw what happened and decided to run. The Noterator caught up with them and told them not to make any more fraudulent notarizations otherwise they would be in trouble. But, this group of Notaries didn’t listen. Fraud was so embedded in their personalities they couldn’t help themselves. Two of the Notaries got involved in a scheme to cheat someone out of their house by falsifying a Grant Deed. The next thing they knew…

NOTERATOR: I’m back!!!

NOTARY #1: How did you find us?

NOTERATOR: I always find bad Notaries. I can small them.

NOTARY #2: So are you going to terminate us?

NOTERATOR: I can’t read the document because it’s not written in Austrian. Just kidding. You falsified a Deed of Trust and Grant Deed. You’re coming with me. The Noterator grabbed both Notaries by their collar and put them in Notary jail.

NOTARY #1: We might be in jail, but at least we are safe from the Noterator here.

NOTERATOR: You thought wrong! (boom!!!!!!)

In the end, Notary #1’s commission was not the only thing that expired. A word of advice. Don’t mess with the noterator!


April 6, 2017

Notaries need to be aware of the destruction of our planet & lives

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 8:09 am

In America, we seem to have it good. And we are oblivious to the problems that surround us. Native Americans are a lot more cynical and in touch with the negative aspects of American life. To many of them, America is a concentration camp where the land is sytematically raped over and over again and that has conducted many genocides and was a model for Adolf Hitler. The cruelty against the Lakota was a model that Hitler used for how to treat “inferior” races. White people are unaware of these realities as our history books skim over the horrors that our government did to Native Americans. Additionally, we whites are not the ones being pulled over all the time. And if Native Americans wrote the history books, they would most likely deny the plethitudes of raids on wagon trains that were part of the stimuli for governmental cruelty against Native Americans. Both sides evade the truth, but we can learn from both sides too.

Additionally, if you think that America is the land of freedom and that we should fight in other countries so that they can have freedom like we do, consider this. Native American dances have been outlawed until recently in America. How can America be free when you don’t have the freedom to dance? What a farce!

The dumbing down of American Notaries
The big corporations want to dumb down American to keep us subservient to them. They don’t want uprisings or anyone to challenge their supreme rule. These corporations and banks control the puppets we call government and control us in many ways as well. They do it partly by giving us medical care that keeps us sick, a school system that teaches us blind subserviance, media that controls how we interpret political events, and food that makes us lethargic so we don’t fight back or think.

1. Destruction of rivers, ground water, ecosystems, and land.
In our country’s effort to expand and make lots of quick money, there was a lot of destruction that took place. 60,000,000 buffalos were extinguished and the species went practically extinct. This was so some people could make quick profits on selling hides, and others claim it was a plot to make it impossible for Lakota people to survive on their own without being dependent on the government.

Oil companies routinely drill for oil all over the place. This includes in ocean water which leads to spills which are impossible to completely decontaminate. This includes pipelines which routinely leak which contaminates ground water and rivers which are tributaries to the Mississippi river. In fact, on Dec 15th there was a huge lead in North Dakota from a pipeline built in 1980 which leaked 180,000 gallons of oil into a stream. Pipelines in Alaska were put above the ground so that wildlife could still run around and not be confined. But, the extra expense of putting it above the ground was due to environmental activists. The oil companies are too unconscious, stupid and greedy to care about the long-term environmental damage they are doing. It is up to Notaries to let them know that we like planet earth and want to keep it clean.

People rely on the Mississippi and Missouri rivers for their drinking water. If even one tributary becomes polluted, the entire line of the river system becomes uneafe for human consumption. Oil companies would love to just trash all of our water supplies on a whim without a care in the world. It is up to Notaries to write to their congressladies and let them know that we ain’t gonna take it no more!

2. The medical industry is designed to keep us permanently sick & dependant.
Most of the medical drugs people take have side effects that can make you sick. Are you trying to stay sick or get better? The medical industry profits when you are sick, so it is in their interests to keep you sick. Take a closer look at whatever medications you are taking and make sure they are not making you stay sick. Also, see if there is a more natural way like acupuncture to stay healthy. But, there’s more. Chinese herbs can also make you sick. Herbs can be contaminated and have side effects too. Although Chinese medicine’s intent it to keep you healthy, it can make you sick too. Acupuncture seems to be a healthy way to stay healthy as it involves needles, not herbs grown in filthy Chinese soil.

3. The food industry is designed to keep you unassertive
The big corporations want to dumb down American to keep us subservient on them. They don’t want uprisings or anyone to challenge their supreme rule. These corporations and banks control the puppets we call government and control us in many ways. They do it partly by giving us medical care that keeps us sick, media that controls how we interpret political events, and food that makes us lethargic so we don’t fight back.

Soy is one of the biggest myths as well. Studies found that Asians were living longer because of soy products. But, soy products are horrible for males as they slow our metablism down and contibute to obesity. You can read more about soy online.

Wheat is yet another one of the most destructive foods known to mankind. In the 1950’s before wheat had been ruined through genetic modification, it used to have at least some nutrition. But, these days it is a source of empty calories which leads to obesity.

High Fructose Corn Syrup. Say no to this non-food. You are harming your body and increasing your chance of diabetes drinking this. Drink only real fruit juice no matter how expensive it is. The fake stuff might be 30% cheaper, but it isn’t juice and it isn’t food. You get 15% juice for $2.80 or 100% juice for $4.00. Which is more affordable for your body? Remember, berries, apples, grapes, etc. are God’s medicine for your body. He created them for your arterial health. He didn’t create corn syrup for you to drink because he loves you. But, the big corporations are too stupid to get it through their heads that they should not be killing their customers.

Milk is good, but slows you down if you have too much. It has estrogen too which is not good for guys. We need the nutrition from milk, but the processing doesn’t do is much good. We should probably have a neighborhood cow named Bessy who could give us some warm fresh milk with no additives. Yogurt, cheese and other milk products have the same properties. Some nutritionists claim you shouldn’t have any milk if you want to lose weight. I am not an expert at this topic, but you can read about it online.

4. The media and school system
Our media reports what is going on in the world showing what they want to show us. Any source of information is inherently biased, and the media here is no exception. They can lead you to believe that Saudi Arabia is our friend and killed terrorists in Yemen while another source of media can prove that mostly hospitals, schools and children were the ones killed in Yemen. The media controls how you think, and you need to think outside the box and get a wider source of input to avoid being a zombie in the hands of the big corporations. Additionally, our school system doesn’t teach enough critical thinking. It doesn’t teach us how to see through the bullshit. We learn to unthinking and subserviant drones of big corperations. No entrepreneurial skills are taught which is why most people who own small stores in America are Pakistani, Arab, or Korean, but not American! However, the Notary industry is the other way around as we are mainly American born folks. The media is feeding you brainwashing just as the grocery store is feeding you food that enhances your state of lethargy, and your school system taught you to be a drone. It’s time to learn to think, people! And BTW, this lethargy is what holds you back from passing the 123notary certification test which is pure and unadulterated education without all of the brainwashing!

5. Now we know what is bad, but what is good?
Berries including pomogranites clean your arteries and were given to us by God. Hunter and gatherer societies were healthy because they ate more berries. But once mankind started farming, they ate more wheat and barley which slowed us down. Nuts (raw and unsalted please) are a great source of protein, vitamins, healthy fats, and minerals. Dark chocolate is yet another food with polyphenols that helps boost metabolism, has the highest concentration of antioxidants, improves you mood, and has been proven to help you be a better Notary (source unknown.) Vegetables and fruits in general are good as they have vitamins, minerals, fiber and other good energies that scientists haven’t been able to understand yet (but, I claim to.) If you eat lots of berries, you will have the strength to protest oil pipelines and save the planet. You’ll also have the strength to make more money, so you can afford more berries (which aren’t cheap by the way.)

Some tribes in Peru survived on a diet of Yams, Beans and Corn. Imagine living your whole life eating only three items. But, these are three healthy items and they are easy to farm as well. Root Vegetables are healthy and low in calories. But, don’t eat fries. Have a baked potato with the skin on. The skin has so much nutrition. I had a baked potato the other day and felt like a million bucks afterwards. Daikon, carrors, turnips, beets are all good root veggies.

What about alcohol?
Some people say that alcohol dulls the brain and is bad for you. In my experience beer does horrible things to your brain and makes you a dummie. If you combine our educational system with beer, you will end up with a completely useless excuse for a human being. Hard alcohol seems to do more damage to your body and arteries. But, red wine in small amounts is drunk by intellectuals and high class people in France, Spain and Italy as a cultural habit and they are smart (not necessarily hard working with all of the siestas, etc.) Red wine has resveratrol, antioxidants, helps you live longer, is good for your heart, and cleans your arteries so you don’t die of a heart attack when a borrower yells at you because they don’t like their APR>

6. Conclusion
The point of this article is a grass roots attempt to get humans here in America to understand that the oil companies are run by people who are NOT human. They don’t live on planet earth. And after they finish their systematic destruction of our planet, they will run back to their planet with all of the money they made off us. We humans do live here and need to protect our three most valuable assets namely: 1. Mother Earth 2. Human dignity, and 3. The blog at 123notary. The solution is to make it unprofitable to engage in the unclean harvesting of fossil fuels and for it to be economically viable to use solar energy. This can only happen if we write to our congressmen and demand:

a. Oil pipelines should be abolished. They leak regularly and the oil companies will not take long-term responsibility for the damage the pipelines do. Not only should new pipelines be banned worldwide, but existing pipelines should be dismantled as they are dangerous as our last 180,000 gallon North Dakota spillage incident proved. Additionally, those involved in government to allow such abominations should be fined and jailed along with those who participated in building these genocidal contraptions!

b. Off-shore drilling should be abolished. Those involved should be fined and jailed as we cannot bring the cleanliness of our oceans back to their original state. World destruction is a crime and should be treated as such.

c. Fracking creates huge contamination of ground water and contributes to the rates of cancer in areas nearby where fracking took place. Yes, fracking lowers the price of energy, but the cost is cancer and human misery. There much be a better way. Frackers should be sent to prison and fined. Or should receive a karmic punishment of being forced to live permanently in an area which they ravaged. Get it through your head that fracking is a fricking bad idea!

d. Solar, wind and other sustainable clean energy sources should be used to their fullest potential. As alternative energy production becomes more mainstream, there will be more competition to create the infrastructure necessary for its production, hence creating a lower price for this type of energy. Having more government incentives to stimulate solar paired with penalties for unclean harvesting of fossil fuels will create a worldwide change. America has lots of windy areas, and the American Southwest is one of the sunniest areas in the world. There is plenty of energy at our fingertips and there is no reason to destroy the earth.

e. Medical Drugs are often horrible for your body. By taking these drugs you create a culture of dependency much like the culture our government estalished in Indian Reservations where unemployment is as high as 95% and people are permanently dependent on the government. Americans have the same type of dependency, but on the drug industry. Don’t take medical drugs is there is a nateopathic safe way to stay healthy. Don’t feed the monster that wants to keep you sick and subjugate our species!

f. Food.Eat healthy food and make a policy to avoid soy, high fructose corn syrup, fries, wheat, and other unhealhty foods. Instead, try nuts, berries, fruits, vegetables, oats, responsibly farmed salmon, etc.

g. Teachyour kids how to think outside the box. Teach them how to see situations from multiple points of view. Otherwise a Nazi style holocaust could happen right in front of your eyes and you will be duped into thinking that the Nazis are the good guys. And then ten years after the fact you will say, “I can’t believe I was so blind, how could this happen in America!” According to the Lakota people, genocide has been happening in America since the very beginning and is still happening in 2016. Wake up and smell the coffee — but, don’t put soymilk in the coffee, try non-GMO almond milk instead!

h. Buy a high position on Don’t let the media brainwash you. Let me instead! Spend all of your money on 123notary! We’re a good agency because we don’t kill children in Yemen, we don’t destroy the earth drilling for oil, and we give good health tips! We’re good for you just like eating berries and turnips! Pass our certification exam, get lots of reviews on your listing, and let me help you write a great notes section at no cost!

And remember — the big and powerful people created the concept of God to control you. But, you should believe in God anyway, because without God consciousness, the devil will come in to replace him — and demonic consciousness leads to oil pipelines, narcotics, killing off buffalos and other bad things. It’s complicated!


April 5, 2017

Do you know your Federal holidays?

Filed under: Loan Signing 101 — admin @ 8:08 am

Many Notaries are a little rusty on Federal holidays. Plus, a few of the Federal holidays are a little bit complicated to understand. Here are the 2017 holiday schedules. There are ten Federal holidays in all.

Jan 1 — New Year’s Day
Jan 16 — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Feb 20 — Washington’s Birthday
May 29 — Memorial Day
July 4 — Independence Day

Sept 4 — Labor Day
Oct 9 — Columbus Day
Nov 10 — Veterans Day
Nov 23 — Thanksgiving Day
Dec 25 — Christmas Day

New Year’s Day When we ask people to name a holiday in January, most people omit to answer New Year’s Day as it feels like it is celebrated more in the end of December — but, that is New Year’s eve which is not a Federal holiday.

Martin Luther King Day Then we have MLK day. If we celebrated holidays in chronological order, Columbus Day would come before MLK day. We would have a day commemorating when slavory in the new world was originated, when it ended, and when civil rights began to be recognized. But, we have our holidays in inverse chronological order with MLK day, then Lincoln’s Birthday and then finally Columbus Day. Martin Luther King, Jr. was the most famous civil rights activist in America. He had a dream about people finally treating each other fairly for once. The Twitter MLK had a dream where people would be judged each other by the content of their 140 characters, and not the color of their link(s). I had a dream too, and then my alarm clock went off.

Washington’s Birthday is the most misunderstood of holidays. The reason being that it is also informally called President’s day. The holiday is based on a merging of Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays as celebrating both was just too much. Incidentally, Washington’s birthday is an optimal day to get a discount on a Sealy mattress. If your mattress is more than eight years old — it’s time to replace! Without George Washington or someone like him, we might still be a colony and have to pay a 3% tax to the British without having any representation.

Memorial Day: The holiday I always forget is Memorial Day. Perhaps, we should call it forgetial day. Independence Day is always fun, but it feels more like Afghanistan with all of the fireworks going off and car alarms. I guess that is what the revolution felt like — but, our flag (and my hubcaps) was still there, and that is the main thing.

Labor Day (pronounced “Lay-bDay” in Boston) must be popular with the union folks, but Notaries don’t get enough credit for their labor, especially with all of the micromanaging and fax backs. If Notaries were in charge, we would have Fax Back day, where we burn fax backs in a parade and then stomp on the embers. Sounds like something they would do in Iraq.

Columbus Day (not popular in the Lakota reservation) is the day we celebrate how — in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and Italians named our country! Vikings discovered America in the 1100’s, but didn’t get much if any credit in history books while Siberians “discovered” American accidentally while hunting caribou in 28,000 BC. and appropriately named it, “The sheet of ice to the East.”

Columbus committed acts of genocide on native peoples and forced many indiginous peple into slavery not to mention forced conversions to Christianity. Personally, I think that Columbus Day should more accurately be called, “The White Man Day.” Columbus had many goals such as the pursuit of gold, and geographical knowledge that would lead to the subjugation of the Americas for economic gain through colonialism, a trade route for African slaves, sugar, and tobacco. How progressive!

GINO: “Hey, we a named a your country — capiche?”

JOHN: “Oh, cool. What did you name it?”

GINO: “A- MER-ica!!!!!”

JOHN: “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Veteran’s Day is a day we remember Veterans, but they very rarely have the opportunity to sign a VA loan on their own holiday.

Thanksgiving is a much nicer holiday. We gave thanks to the American Indians in Massachusetts for teaching us how to plant corn and survive in a cold and unfamiliar ecosystem. Subsequently, 96% of East Coast Native Americans died of diseases courtesy of European immigrants. What about the remaining 4%?

Black Friday is thought of by Notaries as a holiday because nobody works on Black Friday. However, it is officially a working day according to the government. HOWEVER, it is up to the Lender if they include Black Friday as a day to rescind or not. Half of Lenders do not county Black Friday in the three day period and treat it more like a Sunday.White Saturday is the day when people eat leftovers (generally white breast meat) and should be renamed, “Leftover day.”

Christmas, the most commercial holiday of the year is a day that hardly anyone works and is an official Federal Holiday. People normally take the 24th off as well, although it is technically a working day. If you call Notaries on the 24th, they will turn down work on account that they are baking cookies or spending time with the grandchildren.

If the Lakota Nation could name a holiday, they would call it “Broken Treaty Day” where broken treaties that the USA and native people’s made were systematically broken on a whim. What’s the point of having a treaty if you don’t abide by it?

Anyway, now we know our ABC’s, how America was discovered, the kinds of unfriendly behavior the early colonialists engaged in, how we thanked the Indians, how people got their civil rights, how we eat leftover turkey, and how we bake cookies in rememberance of our savior and lord from Nazereth while declining Notary calls. The end!


April 4, 2017

Treat them better than they deserve

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 9:17 pm

Do you get reviews easily? Some “lucky” people like Ken have no trouble getting results in the review department. Is he just lucky? He has gotten over 400 reviews. I removed some of the older ones so his count will be lower than that. The answer is that Ken is the master of offering superior Notary service. He simply offers people more than they feel they deserve, or at least more than any other Notary will give them. He shows up on time, well dressed, offers to do a little extra, answers all of their questions in a very professional way with as much competency as an Attorney too — Ken is a smart guy, don’t underestimate him.

To be honest, getting back to my Attorney reference, Ken is actually a lot brighter than many Attorneys who I have spoken to over the phone. Attorney Notaries (who I deal with) are not generally the cream of the crop otherwise they would not be messing around with Notary work when they could do $400 per hour work instead. Ken is as smart as the $400 per hour Attorneys in my experience, but works for a very reasonable price. But, I digress.

The point of this article is to find ways you can treat your client better than they deserve. The key here is to put yourself in the client’s shoes (flipflops if you live in California or Hawaii.) What would you want if you hired a Notary?

Being considerate over the phone – giving the client your full attention.
Reasonable prices with every aspect of the pricing spelled out ahead of time and no surprises.
Show up on time
Confirm the signing when you are on your way so nobody has to wonder
Convenient credit card billing, or perhaps Paypal or Square.
Professional Dress
Not rushing the clients
Explain what is legal and not in a Notary context, but don’t give legal advice outside of Notary law (which you are required to know by the way in case you forgot.)
Answering all of their questions (and laughing at all of their jokes.)
Offer them a coupon for their next Notary job
Give them a few business cards for their friends who they might refer you to

And last…
Don’t make fun of their photo on their ID
Don’t bring up guns or religion unless you are in a bad neighborhood, a church, or a church in a bad neighborhood.
And for God’s sake — don’t park in the driveway unless you were invited to. The driveway is for them to park, not you!

If you can think of any other way to treat signers better than they deserve, please comment on this blog or forever hold your peace.


April 3, 2017

How do you create a seamless Notary experience?

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 7:10 am

These days, customer service is never that great. If you call your bank, you talk to a robot for a long time pressing three because your credit card has been turned off and then two because you did not pay your bill and then four because of some other reason. They are there to give you the run around and then put you on hold to talk to someone in India who you can’t even understand.

Most Notaries as a lot better than that. But, how many customers could claim that they had a seamless experience with your notary service? What are the components of a seamless experience?

1. The initial phone call
Good: You said, “Hi, this is Marcy” instead of “Hello.” You were polite, friendly and answered all of the questions the way they were asked without trying to boast.
Bad: You didn’t answer the phone the first time. The second time there was a baby screaming in the background. You answered saying, “Hello” instead of stating your name. You answered all of the questions in a round about way while rolling your eyes.

Also read: Answering questions the way they were asked:

Answering questions the way they were asked

2. Negotiating
Good: You asked for a reasonable rate — not too expensive and not too cheap, just right. You based your rate on time and distance and explained your rates fully including any potential extra charges.
Bad: You asked for too much money and complained about how there might be fax backs or other snags.

3. Confirming
You confirmed the signing an hour or two before you were due to let them know you were coming and to make sure they were going to be there.

4. Dress
You dress professionally. Business casual is fine: Formal shoes, long pants, tie optional, dress jacket a plus. Your hair should look good, your tattoo of skeletons should be hidden, and you should smell good.

5. Arriving
You arrive on time, park on the road (not the driveway) and announce yourself at the door? You find a nice place for you all to sit down and put the documents nicely on the table. You explain how the signing process is going to be managed and then you start signing.

6. Signing
You answer all questions about the documents that you are legally allowed to and refer all other questions to the Lender whose phone number is in your list of phone numbers which includes Title, The Lender, The Signing Company, etc. You don’t talk about politics, religion, or make inappropriate jokes or statements at the signing. You could also offer to answer any Notary questions or do an extra notarization at no cost just to be nice.

7. After
You confirm with the Lender or whomever hired you that the signing is done. You deliver the documents to a staffed Fedex or UPS station and drop them off as promptly as possible. If allowed, you might consider getting the signer’s email address so you can email them an invitation to write you a review.

A seamless experience means that it was good from start to finish with no problems, snags or headaches in the process. Most Notaries are not perfect. So, if you can provide the perfect service almost every time, you might get lots of reviews.


March 31, 2017

Secretary of State hacked by Russians!

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:06 am

Some of the Russian mischief-makers who allegedly hacked the election were fresh out of school and hacked the California Secretary of State’s Notary Division by accident, because their English not incredible good. These hackers deleted the files of a handful of prominent Notaries statewide making them “ghost Notaries.” Their commissions were real, but there were no database records anymore. Fortunately, the Sec of State keeps backup records in paper for every Notary in the state, so with much labor, they were able to recreate their records.

On a more humorous note, Hillary Trump became a commissioned California Notary when she is not even a resident here. Considering California gave her a huge popular vote win, she thought it was the least she could do, then realized deleting her acknowledgment certificates was the least she could do. Ivanka Trump became an eNotary due to the hacking attack. She was sorry the Russians didn’t hack off the “k” in her name while they were at it, but has learned to live with a weird one like “Ivanka.” If you call living in tacky gold overpriced real estate “living.” And Vladimir Putin got the control panels to approve residents with felonies to get commissioned as Notaries in exchange for some spying favors — and only if they say he looks buff with his shirt off riding a horse . What started out as a failed hacking attempt became a travesty of justice!

The official new rates for California Notarizations are:

Acknowledgments — 1 pint of vodka
Jurats — 2 pints, but you have to swear that it’s the best vodka in town.
Sworn Oaths — Just swear you can walk in a straight line — or sign in a straight line.
Depositions — You can’t drink in court, so we’ll stick to the $20, but payable in the equivalent amount of rubles.

Even the titles of common documents were renamed
Deed of Mistrust
Affidavit of non-Compliance
The Note
The Right to make people think you canceled
The affidavit of alleged shortage of available capital.

Additionally, the Russians thought they would help Trump by fraudulently changing the venue for the Great Wall of China to be on the U.S. / Mexico border and make Mexico pay for it.

That’s all for tonight. And remember that it is hip to be Red Square.


March 30, 2017

Notarization at Standing Rock

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:05 am

A Notary was asked to do a Notarization at the protest of the DAPL pipeline. But, finding the place was a nightmare and cell phones don’t work up there in North Dakota. Let’s look at the map the Notary thought to himself. Sitting Bull is there, Standing Rock is here. I’m not sure if I’m looking for a Bull or a Rock, but I am sure that I’ll be sitting or standing unless the weather warms up. Boy, it’s arctic up here.

The Notary finally got to the protest — and it was horrible. The police were shooting the crowd with water in 20 degree weather. That’s deadly. Then, he saw a young lady get sprayed in the face with industrial strength pepper spray by police. It’s time to bring out the Attorneys and scrutinize the police up there. An elderly lady was arrested for conspiricy and taken away without her diabetes medicine, and she nearly died according to one reporter. Another lady from Pine Ridge threatened to commit what Native Americans call “Sioux-icide.” The whole situation was a travesty of justice. One Native American protested who had grown up down south named Peggy-Sioux said it didn’t seem like the way things were handled in America, and due process had been violated as well as human dignity.

The Notary was asked to Notarize a statement about numbers that had been written on a person’s arm by a police offer. The practice was identical to what Nazis had done a few generations ago and the crowd was livid. So, the Notary tried to notarize the paperwork but couldn’t.

NOTARY: Sorry, my hands froze, I can’t move my fingers.

PROTESTER: Our people have lived her for countless generations. We are used to the cold. Here, let me show you a tribal secret.

NOTARY: Is this similar to the Mr. Miyagi secret?

PROTESTER: He stole that from us. (Rubbing hands together fervently singing tribal prayer. Then he grasped the Notary’s hands with his hot hands.) Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off — don’t forget to breathe, very important.

NOTARY: Hey wait a second, you stole that from Mr. Miyagi — not fair.

PROTESTER: The technique is from us, but the line is from him.

NOTARY: Wow, my hands are much better. Does the prayer work as well without the drums? Because I’ve heard stories.

PROTESTER: Oh, the drums are more for the state of mind for deeper consciousness.

NOTARY: Well then you won’t need that with me — I’m always in a deeper state of consciousness, at least until my GPS broke. That sort of threw me off, especially around here. Okay, my fingers are working for now. Please sign the journal, I’m stamping here, filling out the form here and signing my John Hancock.

PROTESTER: We prefer to think of it as signing our Crazy Horse.

NOTARY: There’s nothing crazy about your horse.

PROTESTER: Never mind. You wouldn’t understand — it’s an Indian thang!


March 29, 2017

Names for Notary businesses that can get you in trouble

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 7:25 am

In general, we recommend certain types of names for Notary businesses.

The name can include a geographical keyword such as the name of your city, state, or region such as Los Angeles Notary Services or Koreatown Mobile Notary.

Professional Keywords
It can also be more professional oriented such as Karen’s Signing Services, or Notary Pro to Go. One successful Notary used the name After Hours Notary, At Your Service Mobile Notary, Notary at your Door, etc.

But, what if you got yourself in trouble picking the wrong name?
Many Notaries use generic business names that nobody will associate with the profession like LMT Services. I would not want to hire them to be my Notary because their name doesn’t gel with the profession. You need what I call anchor keywords to tie in your business with the work being done and/or the area it is being done.

Names that might get you in trouble!
You could also name your business First American Notary and probably get sued by one of our nation’s largest title companies. If you used the same name a signing company used, that causes trouble too. Many companies pick names that are very similar to other company names and get mistaken for each other. National Signers, National Signing Solutions, National Notary Service, Signing National, etc. You can see. So, if you pick a name, try to avoid using words that other services use. Be unique, classy, and relevant to your profession and perhaps to your area. You could use a hotel-like strategy for naming your business like Comfort Notary, Quality Notary, or Holiday Notary. I don’t think those names would serve you well, but who knows. Then there is USA Notary which is too generic and national and not specific to a particular area. Canada Notary would be in the wrong country. Inuit Notary would be good in Alaska, but not anywhere else. Hopi Notary might be good in Arizona, but the tribal leaders might object — just make sure they don’t put a curse on you! Star Notary Service is too generic, but what about Celebrity Notary Service? Royal Notary doesn’t make sense because we have no royalty in America.

Here are some names of Notary businesses our Notaries have:

A1 Notary Services — Will get you up high in the yellow pages. But, might get you confused with steak sauce.
Bay Area Notary — Great name, and has been in business for over a decade.
SOMA Mobile Notary — What does SOMA stand for?
Golden Gate Mobile Notary & Apostille — Sounds like they definitely go to Marin County.
Affordable Notary — Will they be classy enough for my needs?
The Notary To Call — This one has 33 reviews. Sounds like they really are the Notary to Call.
TheBestNotary.Net — He did well with his business.
Arden Mobile Notary Service — It’s a name, but not flashy.
Diamond Star Notaries — Okay
Sunshine Notary Service — Warm and inviting, but do they do late night service?
Dash Notary — Sounds like a good bet if you are in a hurry.
CA Notary Services — They did well in business, but California is a huge state. I prefer a more pinpointed regional name.
One-Call Closing Services, LLC — Exciting. You just call them once and the job is as good as done.
On Call Closing Services — They are waiting for you. Sounds like they take their phone to bed with them.
Denver Metro Notary — A geographically informative name. I know their coverage areas just by the name alone.
Signed-N-Sealed — Very professional sounding.
I & S Notary and Wedding Services, LLC — I’d prefer IB + SD Notary & Wedding; sounds more romantic.
D & D Document — Easy to remember and gets to the point.
1-2-3 Spanish Notary — I prefer 1-2-3 Notary en Espanol if you want to appeal to the prospective clients.
Mobile Notary Services — Very generic; bad name! Probably not even registered with the county clerk.
The S and S Group — Sounds like they don’t do notary work as their main forte.
Indiana Mobile Closers — Statewide coverage? Cool
Notary Mobile Plus — Gets the idea across.
C & S Mobile Closers — Sounds like a generic name like JB Trucking.
Drive by Notary — Sounds like they do notary jobs but do drive by shootings on the side.
DJ Mobile Notary — Someone’s initials at use here.
Emily The Notary — Classy and charming.

So, what are my favorite names?
Emily The Notary — This is a personal and easy to remember name that connects you with the person’s name and what they do. It is simple for the brain to process too.
Dash Notary — This name captures the character of our industry. We live on the edge, always ready to rush off to a signing at the last minute. It is not so different from the term Minute Man which is popular in Massachusetts where we used to have Minute Men.
Golden Gate Mobile Notary & Apostille — This name incorporates a world-class local geographical icon with the notary business. Very classy and relevant to our profession, but with a $6 toll going South (ouch.)

What are your favorite names? Feel free to comment!


March 28, 2017

Get the Special Jobs

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — admin @ 8:03 am

I have one scheduled for the end of this week. (I guess that is somewhat meaningless as you don’t know when this is being written). Sorry. A special job is one that is: different, high paying, and probably requires integrity, experience and problem solving skills. As to those three requirements; they are attributes shared by my Notary Public readers, and to a lesser extent: me. I communicate with many of my peers; the vast majorities are “by the book”.

Back to integrity, experience and problem solving skills. As Jeremy has often commented, most Notaries laud themselves highly in their notes section. They are writing their own “feedback” and not writing about themselves. Sure, experience counts; and you probably have a lot. But, stressing the trivial in a boastful manner is not the answer. “I have completed thirty thousand loan packages without missing a single initial.” When I read that I think “You’re about due”.

Integrity can be demonstrated or advertised. It’s most often demonstrated by what you write in your communications. Do you stress the need for proper ID? Though at first thought it sounds improper to purchase proof of your integrity – it makes sense to do so. You pay a fee to earn the equivalent of the “Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval”. Most likely those with that seal had to pay for their product to be tested. Well, you want to “advertise” your integrity; so have yourself tested by NON-Notary based certification authorities. Your local Chamber of Commerce and the Better Business Bureau are obvious first choices. You’re not buying “integrity” – you are having your integrity checked and verified by already trusted authorities. To your prospective clients – if “they” say you are OK, “that’s good enough for me”.

My Special Job is about 50 miles away, more distant than I usually travel. It’s really a very simple assignment. I receive a package with a deed and a certified check. The deed gets notarized in the distant county (hmmmm, better be sure which it is) – and when that is completed the affiant gets the check. There can be no mistakes. Even though there is but one notarization, the distance puts it into the local area piggyback price range. I did suggest – yup – for a closer notary. Reply: I like your credentials.

This was not a repeat customer so there was no established trust. I was selected on the basis of my web site and my notes/reviews. By documenting qualifications, my client had no issue with “up front” PayPal; my requirement for any distant assignments. The client is paying over triple what an “unknown local notary” would charge. So I get to ride in the woods for a couple of hours, because he trusted the agencies that “vouched” for me.

Rock solid and reliable (in the mind of your prospective client) accreditations are what rings the bell. Take hiring a babysitter as an analogy. The baby is clearly more precious than any certified check. If at there is the statement: no baby ever fell out the window or drank bleach in my care – would you want to hire them? Probably not. However, kudos from “name” associations that do more than collect a membership fee – that is what wins. Imagine yourself on “their” side. What would give you the confidence to prepay and trust a high dollar slightly unusual situation to a person you never met? Answer that, then apply it to yourself.

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