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January 14, 2022

Psych Notary Episode

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (some),Popular Overall,Sit-Coms — Tags: — admin @ 11:54 pm

This was originally published many years ago.

There is a sit-com on Ion television that you can sometimes get on other cable stations called Psych. It’s about a psychic Shawn Spencer and his sidekick Burton Guster. In any case, the psychic is a fake half the time who sees real clues that nobody else saw him see and then pretends to have a vision.

In this episode, a Notary is found dead and his stamp is found missing. The detectives arrive on the scene.

LASSITER: The body is dead — and it’s cold. It could have been lying here for a good seven to ten hours in my estimate. The cause of death seems unclear.

JULES: Let’s take the body to the lab and see if there is any sign of food poisoning. The victim seems to be a Notary Public, and you know how those type of people are — you know — eating on the road on the run.

SHAWN: You’re right. He might have eaten a poisoned fish filet or….wait a second, I’m getting something… (puts his right two fingers to his head) This MAN, did not die from accidental food poisoning (pause)… he was murdered.

LASSITER: You and your unsubstantiated hunches. I just can’t stand it. And what’s worse is that you’re right more than half the time.

SHAWN: Some people say that I’m talented. Oh, and I’m sorry about your tragic breakup.

LASSITER: Yeah… so am I. I really fell for her.

SHAWN: Don’t despair Lassie, there are other fish in the sea… and coral, particularly Staghorn coral.. and sometimes Pillar coral, and it really sucks when that filmy type of algae gets stuck on the coral.. hmmm. I wonder how that happens. But, I digress. My point is that I’m sure you’ll find someone else.

GUS: Yeah… You’ll find someone. Algae on coral? Ain’t no algae on coral.

SHAWN: I’ve seen it. At least half a dozen times.

GUS: Where?

SHAWN: Snorkeling

GUS: Since when do you snorkel?

SHAWN: I snorkel… Why, you didn’t think I snorkeled? I’m a snorkeler. And I can communicate with fish too. Watch this (puts face near the fish tank and blows bubbles in the air) bubble bubble bubble… See. I told you. I am all about the sea.

JULES: Well, we’ll have to inspect the scene thoroughly and then round up some suspects. Hmm. It seems that this man is a Notary, yet his Notary seal seems to be missing. Perhaps this Notary was murdered to cover up a botched notarization.

LASSITER: Or perhaps the Notary had an exclusive contract with his boss, and his boss found out….

SHAWN: That the Notary was cheating on him… I think you’re projecting, Lassie. Your ex-girlfriend.

LASSITER: She never cheated on me! She was arrested for conspiracy.

SHAWN: Sure she didn’t. I understand. We need to know who the last one who was in the room was — and that man (or woman) will be… the killer.

GUS: What if there were two of them.

SHAWN: Okay… I’m getting something. (puts right fingers to side of head). I know who the killer is… or should I say… “Killizz”

LASSITER: According to this security footage, a well known gangster named Tommy Walker was the last man to come here.

SHAWN: Wait a second, I recognize those finger tattoos. Put them all together, one one hand is says love, and on the other hand’s fingers it says hate. And mom told me not to use four letter words. The killer had a document missing a page and the Notary refused to sign it. So, the killer murdered the Notary, stole the Notary’s stamp and backdated the notarization so that it would APPEAR to have been done long before the murder even though it would not be recorded until after because of some last minute travel arrangements gone bad.

JULES: How do you come up with this?

SHAWN: I have a natural gift.

(Meanwhile the main suspect Tommy Walker, a hardened criminal is at home eating fruit loops and watching the muffets when our dynamic team of sleuths barges in)

LASSITER: (pointing gun) You’re under arrest for the Murder of John Q Smith, Notary Public at large.

TOMMY: I didn’t kill him. He just died shortly after our Notary appointment.

SHAWN: Ah-ha, but your Notary appointment yielded no actual notarization. Or did it. Wait a second… I”m getting something (see’s notarized form in the bag) I see a … win a trip for two to Disney Land…

GUS: Shawn!

SHAWN: Oh, sorry, no… check right behind the Disneyland document and you will find the incriminating document. Yes… A falsified Power of Attorney with a classic missing page… The NNA warns people about that type of situation.

JULES: Oh my God Shawn. You’re right. This Notarization was dated several days ago, but the ink is still fresh.

SHAWN: Caught… in the act. And… we happen to have access to this Notary’s Notary journal which has no record of your transaction on May 5th, “el cinco de Mayo” of the Power of Attorney in question. Which proves that either the Notary kept lousy records, or that you faked the notarization. We’ll have to take the form to the lab so that Woody can inspect the ink for aging.

TOMMY: Okay, I did it. I stole the Notary’s seal, but I didn’t kill him. The killer

SHAWN: Or “Killizz”

TOMMY: is STILL at large. We’ll have to wait for the autopsy. In the mean time… hello travelocity.

JULES: Not so fast. We have the right to detain you until we resolve this.

GUS: Good thing this Notary kept good records because many Notaries on 123notary don’t think they need to keep a journal since their state doesn’t require it. And the ones in California who are required, don’t understand that each document and signature require their own journal entry. You can’t just put them all on the same line and expect that to be a legal record.

SHAWN: How do you know all this?

GUS: Because I used to be a commissioned Notary Public for the state of California, County of Santa Barbara — thank you very much for asking.

SHAWN: Oh cool, so can you notarize my stuffed penguin I’ve had since childhood?

GUS: You never had a stuffed penguin.

SHAWN : Did too, you just never saw it.

GUS: Where did you keep it?

LASSITER: Gentlemen, let’s be done with this inconsequential rambling and get to the task at hand. We need to take Tommy into custody and then question him. Meanwhile, we need to see Woody to see what the autopsy reveals.

WOODY: Hmmm, I’ve checked the body thoroughly and it seems that the Notary was administered a tiny amount of poison that would make him drowsy for just the amount of time it would take Tommy to borrow the Notary’s seal, stamp a document, return the seal and then leave. Tommy probably figured the Notary wouldn’t suspect a thing. HOWEVER, since the Notary had an allergy to some of the chemicals in the poison, the Notary died on the spot. Although the death was accidental, the poisoning was not.

LASSITER: Involuntary manslaughter. Tommy will get a much shorter sentence. A petty crime gone wrong.

SHAWN: Couldn’t the Notary die on an x, or on a dotted line instead of on the spot. Wouldn’t that be cooler.

GUS: Shawn! A notary can’t die on an x marks the spot. That’s ridiculous. He could die on a chair.

SHAWN: Or a gezebo. Or … wait a second, or a pagoda. But, that would probably only be a Japanese Notary.

GUS: Unless it was an American tourist Notary who was on vacation in a place where there are pagodas.

SHAWN: True, but would the American Notary carry their seal with them to Osaka to a pagoda and then just die there?

GUS: I don’t know. But, the Notary seal might drop out of his bag while he was bowing. When Americans bow, they bow too low. Japanese bow just a little bit — just the right amount.

SHAWN: How do you know so much about bowing?

GUS: I studied Hokkaido style karate — that is how I know. And if you studied that too, the knowledge would come from within you.

SHAWN: Right now the only thing coming from within me is an intense desire to eat a pineapple. Wanna share one?

GUS: Okay!

LASSITER: You guys are both insane. But, we cracked the case and we can all go home now, except for Tommy who’s going to do some real time.

SHAWN: Yes, unless he also finds a way to backdate his prison sentence!

.

You might also like:

Best Virtual Comedy Compilation Updated 2018
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See our string of Psych episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=psych

Psychic – Notary Psychic Tarot Card Reading
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19126

Suicide – Notary Suicide Hotline
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6995

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January 13, 2022

A notary gets sued, but E&O won’t help out!

This was originally published many years ago.

We had a notary public whose name will remain anonymous. I will not disclose her location either. But, she is being sued because a lender pulled a fast one on a borrower. The borrower is suing everyone connected to the loan. But, the borrower should know that the notary public has nothing to do with the loan, doesn’t know the lender, and doesn’t benefit from the loan other than to collect their small fee.

The story gets worse though. This notary’s E&O insurance policy wouldn’t help out with any of the legal expenses, or potential damages simply because they claim that the notary never made a clerical error which is true.

The notary public went to get legal counsel, and a neighbor / friend of the notary public offered to help at a discounted rate. But, the discounted estimate for the entire case was $30,000. It doesn’t make sense to me why a notary should pay $30,000 to defend themself from a false accusation.

In any case, we should pray for this notary public, so that she can get off the hook of being falsely accused. She did nothing wrong and shouldn’t suffer like this.

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January 12, 2022

But, I’m still a virgin!

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:55 am

This was originally published many years ago.

I was meeting with my editor / comedy writer. He told me that my writing had improved a lot in the last 18 months. I took a look at my writing and found that he was correct. But, I still make mistakes. So, as he was looking at one of my articles, he found a few small mistakes. “You missed an explanation point!” “There should be a question mark here, and a common in the following sentence.” So, I added the punctuation that I missed. Then, he found something more serious.

ANDY: You missed a period!

JEREMY: Does that mean…?

ANDY: You’re PREGNANT!

JEREMY: But, I’m still a virgin!

.

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January 10, 2022

She was on another directory for 8 years w/o a single call. Then she joined 123notary!

Filed under: General Stories,Popular Overall — Tags: , , — admin @ 8:59 am

This was originally published many years ago.

My assistant Adine just talked with a Notary who had a wonderful testimonial about 123notary. Adine was calling a long list of people to tell them winning techniques for getting reviews on their 123notary profiles. One of the people she called told her that she had been on another popular Notary directory for eight years — and without a single call. Then, she joined 123notary and the phone started ringing off the hook.

Everyone has a different experience on 123notary ranging from immediate success to almost no results. But, it is always refreshing to hear dramatic stories about the effectiveness of our site. This story reminds me of a quote that one of my writers came up with for Twitter a few years ago.

“Sell your car and buy a top spot on 123notary”

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January 9, 2022

Which rules are laws, Lender practices, or best practices?

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Notary Rules or Industry Rules?

It is confusing with all the standards in the Notary business. When 123notary teaches Notary practices, we are not teaching laws, but solid practices. Many Notaries argue with us about our practices because they are not required by law. That is the whole point — we are not teaching law because we are not authorized to, and because we don’t know it. We do know solid notary practices, and teach it as you can get into trouble for not knowing your basics. However, notaries have many misconceptions about the rules of the industry. So, let me clarify.

1. You can always over sign — industry practice (not a law)
Is this a Notary law, industry practice, or what? This statement means that you can sign a document with a name that is longer than the name typed in the signature line. However, that does not make it legal to notarize that longer name unless you can prove the name with an ID. Pleasing the Lender is one aspect of being a Notary. Obeying the law is a much more important one. If you displease the Lender you get fired. If you get in trouble with the law you can end up in jail. Pick your poison.

2. The name on the ID has to match
Please keep in mind that there are four names we have to keep track of:
(a) The name on the ID
(b) The name typed on the signature section of the document.
(c) The name signed on the document
(d) The name on the acknowledgment.

In theory these names could all be different variations, but it is cleaner if they are identical. The critical points are that:

(e) The name on the Acknowledgment must be identical or matching but shorter than the name on the signature line of the document. If the signature on the document says John W Smith, you can put John Smith or John W Smith in the Acknowledgment to please the law, but the shorter name might not please the client.
(f) The name on the Acknowledgment must be provable based on the name on the ID, but does not have to be an exact match. The ID could say John W Smith and you can put John Smith in the Acknowledgment if you like.
(g) The name signed on the document can be identical or matching but longer than the name typed on the document to please most Lenders, but legally notarizing the longer signature or shorter signature is dependent on proving all of the components of their name with an ID.

3. The Lender is the boss of the Notary Public (true for signings, but not for the actual notary work)
The Lender is your boss as to the general assignment, and what happens with loan documents. They are NOT your boss about Notary issues and you should not ask them for Notary advice ever as they might have you do something illegal out of ignorance or greed. You ask your state’s notary division if you have a Notary question and perhaps the NNA hotline and that’s it. The Notary can ask the Lender their preference in how something is notarized if there is more than one legal way to do it, but you can not ask a Lender how to do your job. You are the appointed Notary, not them. If they want to do it their way, they should come over with their stamp and do it their way which hopefully is legal — but, it is their commission at stake if it is not legal. Don’t risk your commission depending on the Lender or Title for Notary advice.

4. The Notary is the boss of the Lender?
The Notary is a state appointed official who represents their state, although the state is not the entity that pays them. If there is a discussion between the Lender and the Notary as to how a Notary act is done, the Notary dictates how it should be done. If there are multiple legal ways to do something such as fixing a mistake by crossing out and initialing vs. attaching a loose certificate — then, the Notary can ask for the Lender’s preference, but not for advice. However, there are liability issues with doing cross outs and initialing. It looks like tampering and you don’t want to end up in court. So, once again, it is the Notary’s discretion as to how problems are solved when there are multiple methods to solve. You can ask the Lender what they like or you can dictate to the Lender what you are going to do. But, the Notary is the boss of Notary work. If they don’t like it, they can find another Notary. It is best if you explain the reasons why you want to do something a particular way. If your reason sounds prudent, there is a chance you might get some respect for your decision. Most Notaries don’t think issues out carefully and do not have well thought out reasons for anything they do. Read our course more and become reasonable! Your commission might depend on it.

5. Send me a loose certificate or jurat in the mail (illegal)
Acknowledgment or Jurat certificates must be stapled to the documents they are associated with. If there is one floating around, you cannot create another one until you destroy the original yourself. Some states do not allow creating new certificates for botched notarizations and require you to do the notarization all over again. Consult your notary handbook on this issue, especially in California where there are many new rules created in the last few years that I have heard about but not actually read to my satisfaction.

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January 8, 2022

Notary Suicide Hotline

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , — admin @ 5:04 am

This was originally published many years ago.

This blog entry seems appropriate now that the holidays have set in. I’m sure many of us have a solid dose of holiday related depression with less sunlight, and an interruption of our daily routines.

“Hurry — we have a level 3 on line 2!”, said the neurotic manager of this organization. What organization was this, you might ask? It is none other than the Notary Suicide Hotline. But, I have never heard of this, you might say! It all came to Jeremy in a dream…

The dream…
It was a few days ago. Jeremy had a dream that he and a few notaries were having sandwiches. The bread was a foot long, but each sandwich only had a small cutlet in it. Then Jeremy went up to the 7th floor of a haunted mansion to hide, because he felt bad that the notary industry was so slow, and felt afraid too! So, Jeremy went to his psychic to do dream interpretation. The sandwiches had lots of bread which represented hard work, but very little cutlet which represented nourishment. That meant that the notaries were working too hard for not enough money!

Another dream
Then, the next night Jeremy went to sleep there was another dream. In the dream, the NNA had become very concerned about the emotional well-being of notaries throughout the country. Many were depressed, and a few even contemplated ending it all. Something had to be done. So, the NNA created the Notary Suicide Hotline.

The call
Notary: “Hello… (sob) It’s too upsetting”
Frank: “I’m sorry about what you are going through. Would you like to talk about it?”
Notary: “Yes… well… It was another $40 signing… boo hoo hoo!”
Frank: “I’m so sorry to hear about that — please hold”

Frank “Hey Sully, we have a level 3 on line 2, can you handle it?”
Sully: “I got it!”
Frank: “Sorry to keep you waiting, I am going to transfer you to Sully — he specializes in exactly this type of crisis”
Notary: “Oh…okay”
Sully: “Hi, this is Sully, I heard that you were offered yet another $40 signing”
Notary: “Yes, it is terrible — we deserve more, especially with fax backs!”
Sully: “I’m so sorry about that. How many fax backs were there?”
Notary: “There were 12. I can’t figure out why they need so many!”
Sully: “Maybe they are insecure. Just remember — it’s THEM, not YOU”
Notary: “Really?”
Sully: “Yeah, they are the guys with the problem, not you!”
Notary: “Do you really mean that?”
Sully: “Sure, we get this all the time. they are paranoid that someone didn’t sign ONE little document on one out of a hundred loan documents. My attitude is — deal with it. Don’t put the notary through hell. If the notary makes a mistake, just don’t use them again unless they have a good track record.”
Notary: “That makes me feel so good. You are really on my side!”
Sully: “Hey… we have been dealing with this for a long time. It never ends. And for $40. It is ridiculous. They should pay at least $90 for those types of signings. But, don’t feel bad, just ride the wave until the economy picks up. They, maybe you’ll get lots of $125 signings, especially if you have experience.”
Notary: “I feel so hopeful now. I pictured everything being gloomy forever!”
Sully: “Nothing lasts forever. What goes down, must come up again, right?”
Notary: “That’s true. When the economy was good before, I thought it would last forever. Now that things are slow, I am depressed thinking that things will be slow forever. But, that isn’t true. Everything in the notary industry is cyclical!”
Sully: “You got it. So… you’re not thinking of ending it anymore, right?”
Notary: “No, you talked me out of it. How can I ever thank you?”
Sully: “Well, this week we are having a special, buy three NNA journals, get a half-price ticket to one of our seminars, what do you think?”
Notary: “Well, how much are three journals?”
Sully: “$40, but without the fax-backs!”
Notary: “It’s a deal!”

So, ends our level 3 suicide hotline call. Thank got it wasn’t a level 10. Level 9 is when a notary is standing at the edge of a bridge holding a stack of pre-fax-back loan documents. I’ll leave it to your imagination what a level 10 is. You need a lot more experience handling those types of calls.

Tweets:
(1) The Notary Suicide Hotline — making sure notary commissions expire before the notaries do since 1932.
(2) Notary Suicide Hotline: “I have a level 3 on line 2, can you handle it?”
(3) Notary Suicide Hotline: “May I help you?”
Notary: “I’m tired of $40 signings w/fax backs!”
(4) Don’t put the notary through hell. If the notary goofs, just don’t use them again.
(5) Dream: A long sandwich w/3 little cutlets inside.
Interpretation: Notaries doing too much work for too little money.

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January 7, 2022

The Joy of Saying NO

This was published originally many years ago.

A call comes in from SSS (Sleazy Signing Service) asking if I was available to do a notary job. “Yes” I reply; please tell me more. The job is “precisely” 1.3 miles from your location. It has a single “tiny” PDF. There are “about” 12 pages, and we will provide a return account number for making a UPS label, at no cost to you. I am starting to get the feeling that this is a bottom fisher, but am curious as to the location. Where is the signing to be done? They give a location in the middle of Manhattan, the absolutely worst place for traffic. Mass transit also goes there but the service is quite slow and the waits for bus or train are lengthy. The subway train is faster, but the platforms are not air conditioned and it’s like standing next to a pizza oven.

“Shall I send you a confirmation and the docs?” You can, but first you need to understand how I run my business. I am the seller of the service and set both the price and the payment terms. My fee is $150 (much more than I usually charge, but I had a bad feeling and wanted to get rid of this particular SSS); and that is payable within the next 10 minutes on my site, via PayPal, prior to my printing of the documents.

We don’t work that way, we are willing to pay $40, and you will have to include an invoice when you return the completed documents and we will send a check during our next disbursement cycle; are you interested? No. I didn’t hear you, please repeat what you said. No. Dial tone.

Of course this is an extreme example. Their offer of $40 would entail at least 2 hours of effort, and the expenditure of over a gallon of near 5$ fuel. You know the components of doing any notary work. Calls, printing, travel, record keeping, trip to UPS, dunning for peanuts (in this case), etc. What I can’t understand is the (feigned?) surprise at SSS when I declined their offer. Are there notaries out there who will jump for any lowballer offer? I sure hope not.

However, NO is not always the best answer and you can’t say that “perhaps” or “maybe” you will take the assignment. But you CAN tell them you will be accepting the assignment – AND – will be checking their reputation. If you find they have a negative or no reputation, you will be requiring that they pay “up front”. Some might never mention that process, and will choose to do their “credit checking” as soon as they can get to a computer. If they have a good history, just do the job. But, if they have a bunch of negatives – call and “require” payment in advance.

Back to the fee amount. You know what you must charge to earn a living. Isn’t it about time that you put your foot down and declined lowball offers. Some notaries are out there taking the low fees; and the SSSs in this world have endless phone time to find them. Are you fed up with finding on the HUD that the SSS received $250 and your share is $75? I work with several very honorable Signing Services that take 25$ to 50$ “off the top”. But I always receive the majority of the fee. The reason you don’t is that you have trouble saying NO. Practice, look in the mirror and repeat NO NO NO – I refuse to allow anyone to take advantage of me.

I’m sitting at my PC typing this for you. I am exceedingly happy that I do NOT have a toxic receivable of $40 to chase after putting in 2+ hours in midtown traffic. I prefer to try to influence my fellow notaries to just say NO to the lowballers. You can do it, think: NO NO NO. After you decline the first lowballer you will feel great, and will be ready to “dump” the ones that follow.

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January 6, 2022

A tale of four notaries in hospitals

This was originally published many years ago.

 A tale of four notaries and their adventures at hospitals.
 
Hospital notarizations are very tricky and there is a lot that can go wrong. We have several resource pages regarding hospital notarizations to steer notaries away from pitfalls.  The characters in this story are NOT based on real characters, but each one of them has either a single attitude or attribute that is similar to a real person that I am acquainted with.  This silly story will show how each notary fared and how their way of thinking worked in the long run.  The various notaries include an Arkansas notary, an Illinois notary, a Florida notary, and a Pennsylvania notary public.
 
(1) Jeremy Blunt, a notary in Arkansas was called to do a hospital notarization in Little Rock on the following day.  Jeremy, with his blunt, but thorough manner told them, “Make sure to tell the nurses not to drug the patient within eight hours of the signing.”.  The caregiver, who was happy to have a thorough notary, overlooked Jeremy’s blunt manner and was very willing to coordinate a temporary lapse in morphine, so that the signer (an elderly relative) would be able to sign the papers.  Jeremy called an hour before the signing to have the caregiver read the ID information to him, and had the caregiver verify that the signer had not been drugged recently, was awake and able to conversate, and wouldn’t be drugged until after the notarization, and that the nurses had been informed.  The caregiver was standing next to the bedridden signer to MAKE SURE that no intravenus drugs were given.
 
Jeremy arrives at the signing with his notary bag, records the ID in his journal, gets a signature in his journal and the document(s), fills out the certificate form(s), stamps them, affixes his official Arkansas notary seal, staples the documents together, and is done.  Jeremy gets his fee, thanks everyone in a very blunt way, and leaves.  The signers say, “That Jeremy gets the job done — he’s a bit blunt, but polite, and he saved our rear ends big time!!!  That OTHER notary let us down.  Thank god for good notaries!”
 
(2) Linda Liberty, a notary in Illinois was called to do a hospital notarization in Chicago the following day.  Since she had a strict policy of not butting into anyone’s medical business, not asking questions, and minding her own business, she omitted to ask the caregiver if the signer was on medication.  After, all thats NONE OF MY BUSINESS!  The next day, she gets to the hospital, the caregiver says, “Thank you for coming”.  Linda politely says, “Its my pleasure to serve the public wholeheartedly”.  Linda goes to the hospital room where the patient / signer is.  The patient is high on morphine and in a stupor, barely able to keep his eyes open. Linda says, “Sorry, but according to Illinois notary laws, I am not authorized to notarize someone who is not capable of thinking or communicating coherently.  I can not notarize this person in this condition, ID or no ID.  The caregiver (the daughter of the signer) said, gee, thats too bad.  Linda says, my travel fee is $60 for hospitals please.  The daughter says, “BUT, YOU DIDN”T DO ANYTHING”.  Linda Liberty says, “Excuse me, but I drove an hour and a half here in traffic, paid a toll for the bridge, sat here talking to you for twenty minutes, paid $15 for gas, and have an hour drive home. I did quite a bit and I want to get paid!!!”  The daughter said, sorry, but we can not pay you.  We are very sorry.
 
(3) Ralph Machiavelli, a notary in Florida (no relation to Niccolo… at least not by blood), got a call to do a signing of a power of attorney in a hospital in Tampa.  The power of attorney would be for the signer’s son in law to take over all of his banking and real estate transactions. Ralph had lots of experience and thought ahead.  This Florida notary public had had his fingers burned a few times and knew the techniques for keeping out of trouble and getting paid.  Ralph told the client that he collects a $75 travel fee at the door BEFORE he sees the signer.  He, then charges $10 per for stamp for an acknowledged signature which is the maximum allowed fee in Florida.  The son in law of the signer agreed, and they set the appointment for the next day at 10am.
 
Ralph gets to the appointment.  Collects his travel fee in CASH, and says, “Thank you very much”.  Lets see the signer now.  The two of them proceed to walk down the long corridor, around some bends, up an elevator, down another corridor, past a nurse station, to the left, to the right, and then into a room.  They found the signer was drugged, sleeping, and in no condition to sign or even talk.  The son in law tried to wake the signer up.  The signer eventually woke up after twenty minutes of blinking and saying, “mmmmmmm?”.   Ralph said, can you ask dad to sign this form?  The son in law said, I’ll try.  After twenty additional minutes of wasting time (a result of the medication), the son in law said, its no use, they drugged him this morning.  Maybe I have my $75 back?  Ralph says, “I’m sorry, but in addition to traveling, I spent forty minutes here waiting for your signer to sign something.  This was a complete waste of time.  Next time please make sure your dad is ready to sign at the appointed time. That means…. NO DRUGS”.  Ralph returns home with his money.  He pleasures himself with a nice baby back rib dinner, and then returns home.
 
(4) Sharisse Washington, Pennsylvania Notary Public at large, doesn’t stand for this type of nonsense or bluntness that happened in the above three stories.  She has thirty years of experience, and carries a handheld database of how to handle each situation with all its variations and pitfalls.  Sharisse minds her p’s and q’s, dots her i’s and crosses her t’s.  She informs everybody in a polite way, and doesn’t put herself in a position that anything will go wrong either.   This notary in Pennsylvania gets a call to go to a Philadelphia hospital to do a notarization the next day.  She politely asks the client if they have an ID for the signer.  She asks if they could read the ID to her, so that she can verify that they have the ID, and that its current.  She asks if the patient EVER recieves medication or is likely to receive it during the day of the signing. She asks if its possible that they could provide a “WINDOW OF TIME”, where they could be sure that the signer wasn’t going to be drugged.  She asks what the name and type of the document is.  She asks if it is in their possession and if they can read the document to her (so, she can verify that they really have it).  After she asks all of the questions on her database’s check list, the cordially thanks the client for answering her questions and assures them that she will be at the hospital lobby at 10am the following day. 
 
This Pennsylvania Notary calls at 9am to verify that they have the identification handy and that the signer is not drugged. Sharisse shows up at the hospital at 9:55 just to be on the safe side.  The client is there, thanks her for being early.  They go up to the room.  The signer is awake, sober, and conversational.  The signer signs the document and journal. Its a bit if a struggle being old and being weak, but the signer does it… because she is sober and awake… and sober…not drugged.   Sharisse does all of the remaining necessary paperwork, thanks everybody, collects her fee, and is off to her next appointment which she allowed a sufficient amount of time to get to.
 
Now that you have read how each of these four notaries handled a hospital job, its up to you to decide how you want to handle this type of job. Remember, that hospital and jail notary jobs and many more potential pitfalls and things that can go wrong than a regular office or home notary job.  Do your homework, be polite and stay out of trouble, and that way, you will be able to make a living. Otherwise, it is you who will be sorry.

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Power of Attorney in a nursing home
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2305

Do you like your job? A story of being kept waiting forever at a hospital.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=617

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January 5, 2022

The day I sold Carmen’s spot

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:41 am

This all happened around 2004. Carmen and I did not communicate as effectively together in those days. Carmen was given a top spot back then as a gift, but she did not see the value in it in those days. I asked if she wanted to get a formal upgrade and pay for the spot. She didn’t care then, and the key word is then. After that, there was this other lady in Los Angeles who was a Realtor and Notary. I think she is still with us although she dropped out for a few years. The Realtor Notary lady paid for the spot.

So, Carmen noticed that she wasn’t getting as many calls and complained to me about what had happened. Carmen got very angry I remember. I am not sure whose fault it was as our communication was not in writing. I think Carmen’s words are that it doesn’t matter if she is in the top spot. But, after losing the top spot, she started whistling a different tune. I am not sure if I waited for that other lady’s top spot to expire or if I bribed her to give it up. I can’t just take a legitimate Notary out of a spot you know — that is a violation of my terms and conditions. So, the minute I could legitimately get the other lady out of the spot which was a year or more after Carmen complained, I gave Carmen her spot back.

Carmen got so much business from her top spot that she became really good at selling top spots to other people. Carmen has been working with me since 2003 by the way. That was the year I got really busy with 123notary. The 123notary of today is very much formed because of that little communication mistake that happened back in 2004 or 2005, I forgot the exact year. Carmen has been the best top spot salesperson ever since. And I owe it all to a mistake.

.

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January 3, 2022

Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , , — admin @ 8:03 pm

Originally published many years ago

Notary reviews vs. Movie reviews

Imagine what the world would be like if Notaries got reviews similar to movie reviews. The world would be a much more interesting place for one! But, would it get too zany?

(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) The notarization was good, but the popcorn needed more butter (sorry for the corny joke)
(3) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(4) Some reviews spoil the movie — read the spoiler alert.
(5) I didn’t like the ending to the signing. Too predictable.
(6) The guy in front of me wouldn’t take off his hat throughout the entire signing
(7) There was a lot of character development the minute we got to explaining the APR.
(8) The Notary gave an award winning performance.
(9) The actor who played the Notary was such a natural it would be an easy mistake to take him for a real Notary!
(10) The notary had to go back to his trailer so that “make up” could do some touch ups on his seal, because his seal was beginning to smudge.
(11) I hate it when people talk during the signing, especially during the critical parts.
(12) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.
(13) The notary dimmed the lights as I was reading the details on my Settlement Statement. Luckily I brought a flashlight!
(14) The suspense hit its apex when the Notary couldn’t reach the Lender by cell phone. I never expected that!

Coming attractions:
Refinance 2,
Debt Reduction Retainers — the sequel.
The Notary Games.

Tweets:
(1) This notary gets two thumbs up!
(2) It was a very awkward notarization because the person behind me had their feet on the back of my chair.
(3) Notary Reviews vs. Movie Reviews: I didn’t like the end of the signing — to predictable.
(4) I wanted to bring a date to the signing, but I was the only one on the Deed of Trust.

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