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June 6, 2019

Notary weapons: numchucks, torture rack, and more.

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:08 pm

It is imperative that Notaries develop an arsenal of weapons so as to survive the Notary industry unscathed. There are instances where one must defend themselves from signing companies. Numchucks are excellent for this purpose — and you don’t have to be Asian to use them although it doesn’t hurt either. But, if you grip them too hard you might have “numbhands”! And if you are incompetent people from Boston someone might call you “numbnuts.” But, there are other problems that could arise in the Notary arena that must be discussed.

Suppose you have a signer in front of you, who is not convinced that they want to sign. A resourceful Notary will employ all options to solve this unpleasant and slightly embarrassing situation. The use of a torture rack seems like the most efficient. That way you can easily convince the signer that indeed they really do want to sign.

Then there is the crossbow. Good for signature by X signings since the X looks like a cross. Also handy if your signer is a cross-dresser.

After careful review, the use of a mace seems overly heavy handed and will knock your signer out cold. Therefore we recommend against the use of maces, clubs, and bats, not necessarily in that order (unless you are a fan of the Movie “Gangs of New York.” However, if used as purely an intimidation tool, a mace might prove useful. Then there is also a Pakistani spice called Javetry or Mace which is completely different and not to be confused with a bat-like mace — unless you have a large clump of it.

So, in addition to carrying a stamp, acknowledgment pads, pens, and other standard Notary items, next time you go to a signing, consider taking a torture rack with you. You might actually have an opportunity to use one. (FYI – Macy’s is having a sale on foldable torture racks at 50% off while supplies last.)

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June 5, 2019

Flossing vs. Reviews. Both are habits

Filed under: Reviews — admin @ 11:13 pm

When I talk to Notaries, I try to get them into good habits. If you floss every day, you will be less likely to get cavities in the long run. It takes 45 seconds per day every day. You cannot floss for twenty minutes once a month and hope to get the same result. Asking for reviews is also something you can do one minute a day every time your client says, “gee I love your work.” If you invest that one minute per day — or per opportunity, you can acquire lots of reviews over time and accumulate a lot more business which can change your life.

In any case, both flossing and reviews are habits, and they take roughly the same amount of time to do unless a 30 second gargling session follows your flossing in which case the flossing ritual might take slightly longer. However, there are differences between these two activities as well. You will not bleed much when asking for reviews, unless you are Woody Allen (he’s a bleeder.) Also, you will be less likely to end up having a lengthy conversation flossing unless you like to converse with the mirror about who is the fairest notary in the land, or, unless you have your BFF on speakerphone while you are flossing which I find just rude.

So, ask for reviews every day and you will get more business, feel better about your self, have a better rounded Notary profile, and best of all, have a good notary check up.

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June 4, 2019

Most Notaries don’t like Yelp

Filed under: Advertising — admin @ 11:21 pm

The experienced Notaries tend to drop out from Yelp. The jobs tend to be cheap and the volume tends to be high. However, Yelp is a great way to get reviews. If you ask your Yelp clients to write reviews for you on 123notary, you might do a lot better on our site. Additionally, single document signings tend to be fast, and are a great way to fill in time when signings are slow which is most of the time these days.

Using Yelp is also another way to get a lot of useful experience under your belp.., I meant belt. To get ahead as a Notary, people want to know that you have handled thousands of signings. The faster you get those signings accomplished, the more higher quality work you might get.

So, understand what Yelp is and see it for what it is. It might be a boon for your business, so use every advantage you can get. And one more thing: to have healthy reviews, use Yelp, but to have a healthy body, eat kelp!

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June 3, 2019

I’m a high end Notary in a low ball world

Filed under: General Articles — admin @ 11:24 pm

Are you a highbrow Notary in a low-brow world, or a high-end Notary in a low-ball world? join the club. There are lots of Notaries out there with tons of experience who have a lot of trouble getting paid well or getting work at all. On the other hand, there is what I call the double bell curve effect in the Notary world. There are lots of new Notaries, lots of mega-experience Notaries, but not so many people in the middle.

The problem as I see it is that there are many Notaries who perceive themselves as being high-end simply because they have experience. They hide behind their years of experience to compensate for the fact that they cannot explain a single Notary act and don’t have a clue how to deal with many common Notary situations. Another problem is that in today’s economy there are too many Notaries and too few jobs. With Snapdocs, if you are not fast to respond to texts you will be put lower on the text order algorithm and might stop getting offers altogether. So, how can you win during these desperate times? The answer is that there are no guarantees. However, being high end in virtue instead of high end in claim will help you a whole lot more. What do I mean?

I recently emailed about 150 notaries regarding their certification. I wanted them to study and quiz again at no cost. Half of them emailed me back and the other half did not. The ones that emailed me back did not read the email carefully. They omitted to read the part that said they had to study a lot. So, I responded to people one by one reminding them (the same way you remind children) that you have to study. I only got four requests from people who had studied sufficiently, and most of those four passed. What about the other 150? Why are people so stubborn, lazy, ignorant and uncooperative? If you can’t pass our certification test (which is really hard these days) then you are NOT a high end Notary. You are only a poser and a chump.

Additionally, getting more reviews on your profile will attract browsers, and so will having a well written notes section. To sum it up, a lot of expertise goes into being a Notary, but less than 1% of the people on our site have that knowledge or have any interest in acquiring that knowledge. This whole industry has turned low-end on me and I’m getting really sick of it. Even if it gets you nowhere, there is a certain dignity and professionalism in knowing your stuff. So please do so.

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June 2, 2019

China’s economic growth and how that affects you

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:32 pm

I always accuse Chinese people living in America of living in an Asian bubble. Only talking to people who are just like them and never expanding their social network to the outside world leaves them in this bubble. In real life it is not exactly like that but it sure seems like it. However, I forget that Americans live in another sort of a bubble. They might know people from foreign countries but they don’t know what is going on in those foreign countries unless they travel to those places themselves. What does this all mean?

For those of you who don’t know, China has been growing at a huge rate for the last forty years. Economic growth was over ten percent per year for decades and has now slowed down to about 7% which is still high. America, due to all the red tape, and aging and tired work force, and an acute labor shortage is only growing around 2% per year. Additionally, China tends to take over entire industries. I remember twelve years ago I knew three ladies in the fashion design business. Their business was ravaged by the Chinese and 90% of their work force became suddenly unemployed unless they wanted to go back and forth to China. China has taken over a lot of the semiconductor business and is likely to take over many more industries as time goes on. But, why should you care?

If China is growing 5% per year faster than we are, that means in 14 years they will be twice as powerful as the USA. There could be mass unemployment in certain industries. There might also be economic projects headed by the Chinese on American soil. We could become subjugated by them in many ways as time goes on.

The other problem which is particularly noticeable with Notaries is that Americans have a poor study ethic and an aversion to technical subjects. This is a problem as the jobs of tomorrow will be increasingly reliant on technology. Chinese not only have a high IQ for technical tasks, but they like studying hard and working in these industries. If they are the only people who can handle technology, that means we will be their servants — if we are lucky. Or we might end up left out of the global economy and die of starvation in slums. I might be completely wrong in my fears, but there is a large basis for my thoughts and worries.

The average American family has their kids study less than an hour per day while Chinese families have their children do triple that. When American kids finish college, they typically don’t know how to do anything — what a waste of money. Personally I think college is a con job unless you want to be a teacher, doctor or lawyer. If you want to do anything practical, you should go to school for that purpose. If the Chinese are the only people who function at a higher level economically and we don’t, what future will we have?

The moral of the story is that if you want your children or grandchildren to have a future, have them study match, science, and programming a lot. Get them tutors, and start them off at a very young age. That way they will be able to do real work when they are sixteen. This takes discipline, and that discipline could help us all avoid a horrible economic crisis in years to come. And in the mean time, if you are a Notary, then spend a little more time studying how to be a great Notary because the average score on my last email quiz was 40%. Would you hire a notary in the 40% competency range?

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June 1, 2019

LA COUNTY – Traffic ideas

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:54 am

Dear County / City of Los Angeles,
My name is Jeremy Belmont. i have lived in this county for 20 years. I love it here, but you have some serious logistical problems. In this article, I will show that there are several principals that can be applied to traffic retrofitting that are easy, low in cost, and effective. Additionally, there are other techniques which might be more invasive and costly that also could prove optimal in certain specific situations. I will divide this article into sections and categories to make it easier to digest.

Categories.
1. Earthquake preparedness
2. Bicycle & Scooter issues
3. Quick retrofitting for roads & intersections
4. Non-invasive large scale solutions
5. Invasive and costly solutions to serious traffic snags.
6. Downtown considerations

Category 1. Earthquake preparedness.
We live in a city that is prone to earthquakes. Yet since I have been here, we have not had anything more than a tremor. In the event of an unexpected earthquake (such as if mother nature forgets to send a memo), Los Angeles traffic could be crippled not for days, but for years. Highway bridges and overpasses on the 405 and other highways are the most vulnerable crux in our traffic system. Should there be a bad earthquake, and these bridges fall, it could take years to get them all fixed.

My solution is to start fixing the problem long before there is a problem. The worst issue is traffic going over the hill into the valley. East-West traffic from Los Angeles to Santa Monica is another huge issue. Having wide routes that go through the hills that are surface streets makes sense because those will be stable in an earthquake. Such an idea will be unpopular with the local residents as it will tear up their hills, however, for the general good of society it is necessary and it is also necessary to start the project as soon as possible as that may be our online lifeline to the valley. Without it it could take six hours on a good day to make it from Hollywood to Studio City — I kid you not!

Retrofitting bridges and overpasses is another idea. Having detailed plans and available resources and building materials to rebuild destroyed bridges is something to think about now and NOT after there is a problem.

Category 2. Bicycle & Scooter issues
Bicycles and scooters are very environmentally friendly modes of transportation. There are various problem associated with these modes of transportation.

1. Bicycles & Scooters are not subjected to laws regarding REAR LIGHTS.
I believe that all vehicles on any divided road (with divider or double yellow lines) should be required to obey the same laws of the road that a motorized vehicle does. The laws state that bicycles must obey the laws of the road, but these laws are not enforced much.

2. Bicycles & Scooters are not subjected to laws regarding FRONT LIGHTS
Front lights SHOULD NOT BE FLASHING as this is very disturbing. Yes it gets them noticed, but that is the only thing you notice which means that your attention is distracted which could cause death or bodily injury not to mention annoyance.

3. Bicycles & Scooters should NOT be allowed to be used on a sidewalk unless they are on a designated bike path. Bodily injury happens regularly when bikes & scooters use the sidewalk. It is also very disturbing to walk out of a building only to have a near miss with a scooter. There seems to be no law enforcement for these vehicles and this needs to change.

4. Bike Routes.
The city spends lots of money creating poorly thought out bike routes. The result is that the width of the road available for motor vehicles is restricted to allow for an occasional bike. I was on Figueroa and cars could not move. Yet there was a bike path and bikes coming on schedule every two minutes. This is an inefficient use of space. If you got a fixed fee per vehicle your aggregate revenue would go down as a result of this mis-allocation of resources.

Principals of Bike Routes
(a) Bike routes should be built in places where they will be heavily used. Usage could vary over time depending on how thoughtful the route is. A user-friendly route might experience regular increase in traffic while a dangerous and poorly thought out route might not get used much at all.

(b) Bike routes should NOT be built in places with heavy motor vehicle traffic as those roads are already congested enough. Bike routes can weave around the city and should ideally use roads that typically have light traffic. Or, if car traffic can be re-routed (which is not easy) then bikes might be more suited for streets like Figueroa.

(c) Bike highways are something that exists in Europe and might not be cost effective in America. However, bike riders who I spoke to said that a completely separated route would be attractive to them for safety reasons. A bike highway could be elevated, and only built in places with heavy bike traffic. Kiosks could be built for items that bicyclists might like. Locked parking areas for bikes would be good too.

(d) Share a bike system. These days, more and more cities are having shared vehicle systems. You can rent a scooter by the minute. You can rent a bike in Beverly Hills. These systems use apps and credit cards. It is popular, but not safe as it is not run by the city. My idea is to have the city run a simple system where you can rent a segway, bike or scooter, and use it on a separated road. You can pay a machine with cash, smart card, use an app, or use your iPhone to do the transaction. Payment flexibility is something I like. The system would be designed where you cannot run your vehicle off the established route and cannot steal the vehicles as it might be physically impossible to move them off the route (somehow… that is an engineering question… above my paygrade.)

(e) The slow vehicle route. Imagine a system where you see bikes, segways, scooters, and golf carts. These vehicles do not differ drastically in weight compared to bikes vs. cars or trucks. They go similar speeds as well. If they had their own routes that would be safe. But, to make sure you get enough traffic in the routes, having more options for payment, and vehicle choices would increase traffic. If you could pay a dollar and jump on a golf card with some other people to go two or three miles down the road, how convenient is that?

(f) If the idea of separate bike routes happens, buildings could be constructed near the bike paths where users of the system could live.

The below points are for bike routes integrated with regular roads.
(g) Cars need to turn right, but when they do, they might smash into a bicyclist.

(h) Going through intersections is dangerous as someone running a red light might hit you. For roads with bike routes that the city would like people to actually use, you need a safe way for bikes to go through intersections.

(i) Having fewer intersections on bike routes makes sense. Less intersections = less danger.

(j) Having a bike route temporarily go in the middle of the street separated by curbs would be good so that at intersections cars could be in the lane to the right and not pose a danger to the bikes. To get into that middle lane, bikes might need to cross a cross walk, or cross through heavy traffic which once again is dangerous. Streets that intersect with one way streets would pose less issues for bike traffic as bikes could travel on the left on intersections with right turn possibilities and then cross over and be on the right when the left turn avails. This way bikes would not have a conflict of interest with cars at the point of intersections. I would need to draw a diagram to clearly show this point.

The other way to do this is to have a bike route that is always in a middle lane, but have stop lights for the bikes so that the cars can turn into the right lane so that they can prepare for a turn. Using this approach the bikes would stop while the cars are going and vice versa which would cause a lot of delays. On long streets, having cross-overs only every two to three blocks would reduce time lost.

(k) Having bike fly-overs at major intersections would be safe. However, this is expensive. But, by sharing the cross over with pedestrians, scooters, etc., it might be more efficient or cost effective overall.

(l) Allowing bikes to swerve in and out of traffic, from roads to sidewalks and all over is very dangerous and a problem. Bikes need to follow rules and behave orderly.

(m) Bikes should ideally be registered and operators should need a license to operate on a divided road (i.e. with double yellow lines). This will increase the level of safety and education about the rules of the road. Right now we have anarchy which is annoying and dangerous.

Category 3. Quick Retrofitting for Roads to increase traffic.
Roads in Los Angeles are typically overused, and clogged most of the day, particularly during rush hour. There are various causes for this situation. Not having enough road space, clogged intersections, parking on major streets, valets, etc. I have a list of solutions to this type of problem.

1. Building more roads is a solution to the issue of road space. This involves knocking down large swaths of territory and destroying many homes. In the long run it would really help the city, but there would be many complaints in the short run.

2. Having multi-purpose roads is the main reason why traffic is so bad. Roads are used for driving, parking, bus stops, bikes, turning on short distance trips, and other purposes. By having certain roads focus on certain purposes, that might allow traffic to flow. If certain roads are optimized for driving straight for three or more miles, those roads would really move quickly, especially if the traffic lights were optimized. To achieve this goal, parking would need to happen on side streets or alleys and those who want to do lots of left turns should probably not use a long distance optimized road.

3. Unclogging intersections is an interesting problem. There are various ways to do this. Here are some ideas. Some of these ideas I learned about by reading about logistics and city planning on the internet.

(a) Move bus stops away from major intersections. They clog lanes so that only middle lanes can flow. Moving a bus stop a block and a quarter down the street will allow cars to get in and out of the bigger intersections and bus takers will only have to walk an extra block. I think they need the exercise, what do you think?

(b) Don’t allow parking within a block of a major intersection. Having side streets accommodate more parking is a good idea. It is common to have difficult parking restrictions on side streets to please the residents. The consequences is that that main arteries get clogged with parking and that causes traffic congestion, and causes heart attacks in humans if your arteries get blocked by plaque.

(c) Don’t allow parking on major streets in general. Traffic is safer and faster without parking.

(d) Having modified roads that can accommodate a smooth passage for utilizing the “three rights = a left” idea might be good.

(e) Additionally, right turns could be done by entering onto a ramp a block before a major intersection. You would have to knock down a few buildings for this, but it would eliminate the normal congestion at intersections caused by too many turns.

(f) Pedestrians typically cross while people are trying to turn right. this is dangerous and annoying. Having the pedestrians cross 200 feet down the road means more walking, but that reduces the amount of activity at the intersection itself which is good for safety.

(g) Pedestrians could also wait longer to cross, but then have crossing in all directions including diagonally. This would reduce the danger of cars hitting you or startling you by coming too close. This is by far the easiest of all of my suggestions.

(h) There are more complicated logistics solutions. If cards turning left turn left a block or two before the intersection onto a side street at an intersection where there is a lot less going on, and then make a right and then another left onto their main street, that is one way of reducing traffic at major intersections.

(i) Right/Left crossover sections of streets are a new method of traffic reduction that are growing in popularity. If right and left are reversed at an intersection on a cross street, then making a left turn becomes easy. Making a right turn would be more effectively done by turning off to the right a block early, going a block or two, and then making a left and then another right onto the main street which at that point would have reverted back to traffic on the right.

(j) Having rotaries at intersections or rotaries after intersections for those who want to turn around and then go a direction which would otherwise have involved a left turn… This is a way to achieve such a goal without a left turn signal, or a bridge.

(k) Having underground routes for people going through an intersection would free up road space for those doing a right or left turn.

Category 4. Non-invasive large scale solutions.
Going from downtown to Santa Monica during traffic can take forever. Just going two blocks downtown can be a nightmare due to the fact that traffic gets stuck and pedestrians are always blocking your turns which is an issue I addressed above. Building more highways is costly and there is no space. So, what is the solution? Having roads that are designed to move quickly, with optimized traffic lights makes sense. If certain roads are designed to go East quickly and other roads are designed to go West quickly, the city can move. South of the 10 freeway, there is less congestion on those roads.

My idea is to have certain streets downtown be optimized to just get cars out of the city as fast as possible with lights that keep turning green. Those roads could feed into streets South of the 10 such as Adams, etc., that could be optimized to go fast in a particular directions, again with lights that keep turning green. Whether those roads become one way or remain two way, they could focus on people going East on certain roads and West on others. Such a system would reduce load on the 10 freeway and get people where they are going in minutes instead of hours. It might also be an ideal way to get to Culver City or Torrance.

Category 5. Invasive and costly traffic solutions.
Building rotaries is expensive. Large rotaries that are bigger than what is conventional might be a real boon for fast moving traffic. This would involve tearing things down. But, would allow for a fast moving city.

One idea I had would be a rotary that is two miles in diameter with a completely rebuilt city in the middle, or the same old city in the middle. A controversial idea to be sure, but very interesting to think about.

Silver Lake near the 101 is such a place where a rotary or underground road would reduce the huge snags. There are too many intersections and roads going diagonal. The entire are is a mess that could be cleaned up with some expense. Regardless of the solution, the area’s logistics need to be simplified somehow. And there is more than one way to build a rotary. There are convoluted multi-rotaries that are connected to each other with different types of turnaround techniques too.

Hollywood & Highland and crossing over to Burbank have horrible traffic. Creating some underground routes and solutions to traffic snags that would make traffic move smoothly to Burbank would be wonderful. It would probably be possible to achieve this goal without any more bridges going over the 101

Tearing down huge swaths of buildings and creating routes that go straight through the city is controversial but would solve a lot of congestion. Bike routes could be built on these routes and maybe parking solutions as well. The city needs roads that are designed to get people across the city fast without too many intersections. Rebuilding allows for this. Additionally for bikes, long passages with no interruptions are safer and more convenient. This route could go underground near intersections as well. The problem comes when an uncongested new route interfaces with a highway that is badly congested. The uncongested route will become congested trying to take ramps onto the highway. So, what is the solution? Perhaps not connecting to the highways makes more sense. There is no sense in spending billions to create yet another traffic jam.

As a general rule, my strategy for invasive solutions would be to make a list of the city’s worst traffic snags and then to itemize them in order of how critical they are. Those areas should be worked on one by one finding the most sensible and cost effective solution on an individual basis. Cities across the United States are not known for their logistical skills, so it might be necessary to call in professionals from other areas to help with decision making skills.

Category 6. Downtown considerations.
There is too much going on downtown. Too many pedestrians clogging intersections. Too many buses, and too many cards. To simplify, if particular streets would cater to bikes, pedestrians and buses, and other streets would cater to cars, traffic might actually move. If certain streets allow pedestrians to cross without waiting long then pedestrians could move through the city with ease. You only need a few streets to be optimized for pedestrians, so they would not monopolize the whole city center. On streets optimized for cars. you might have pedestrian bridges, but pedestrians would have to wait a lot longer. This way cars could get in and out of the city.

I also like the idea of an elevated pedestrian and bike route. This way you could walk through the city without cars trying to run you down. Expensive, and the bike traffic does not merit this expense, but when you combine pedestrians which come by the thousand, it suddenly becomes a worthwhile investment.

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May 31, 2019

Your number of loans signed just went down?

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 10:30 am

When I do welcome calls, I will spend the better part of a day offering our newsletter to people and asking them how many loans they have signed. It is so hard for people to think about how many loans they have signed. Don’t they keep some sort of count? When I was a Notary people used to ask. Of course that was back in what I call the “Pre-Instagram Age.” That is a time not far after the horse and buggy went out of style.

When I ask people by phone how many loans they sign, although the answers are awkward, at least I feel I am getting an honest, but not necessarily accurate number. People are more comfortable telling me how many years they have been signing. But, if you signed one loan per year for ten years, that is equivalent to someone who signed ten loans per day in one day. Which experience is worth more and what does it all mean?

But, when I go through people’s profiles and look at their number of loans signed and it says 5000, and then I call them and ask them how many loans they have signed, the answer usually goes down. I ask because I assume they didn’t bother to update their numbers for a year or two… or six. But, I uncover lies, deception, and deceit when I ask this question. How did we go from 5000 loans down to 1500. Did you sign negative loans over the last six months?

Maybe I should keep track of who the liars are. Hmmm. That might be a longer list than I care to know about.

As always, keep your number of loans signed up to date and if possible — honest and accurate, or as accurate as humanly possible.

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May 30, 2019

What defines what a signature is?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 10:44 am

I never stopped to think about this until today. What defines a signature? A signature is a type of a mark that is systemically used by a particular individual to identify themselves by name on a document. It is normally a cursive version of their name (do they still teach cursive to the youngins these days?) Some people might print their name in a unique way. Some disabled people might do a signature by x with some subscribing witness. Someone signed using Chinese characters with me as their Notary. And then there are the doctor scribble type signatures too. All of these are acceptable as signatures.

But, how do you know this is their genuine mark? Just check their drivers license and make sure the signature matches up. Sometimes signatures evolve as a person gets older. But the basic stroke style should be about the same. If it doesn’t match up, then you might be at risk notarizing that signature. The signature in Chinese characters I was a little apprehensive or as the Chinese say, “Zhao-ji” about, but I checked the ID and it matched.

In the old days in America, the upper class used to seal deals actually using seals, which is where the expression seems to have come from. They used candle was and a stamp of some sort to seal their business deals on pieces of paper. I saw that in a movie when someone sold a slave.

And in China some people use a square and very intricate seal with four characters on it sometimes written in their antiquated form. They are very beautiful and you can look them up online under the term, “traditional Chinese seal” and then look up images. They could be made from marble or wood, or many types of materials I guess.

But, once I notarized a movie producer from Israel. His signature was some sort of a line with a hook and a dot. He claims he signed million dollar deals with that signature. The only thing I had to say to him was, “You call that a signature?”

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May 28, 2019

Sometimes I feel like Charlie Hebdo

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:34 am

I remember two years ago where half of France was saying, “I am Charlie.” The fact was that Charlie was obnoxious and offensive. He did not deserve to die, but there is no dignity in mocking prophets either. A muslim cop lost his life defending people during that attack. Talk about irony.

In any case, I write blog articles that are not any more offensive than prime time television which is intended for children to watch. When TV makes a harmless joke, they are not criticized at all, but when I do the same thing, I have a lynch mob of intolerant leftists using intimidation to get me to stop publishing the type of posts that get clicks. They think they are the boss of what I write and they think they can call me horrible names and intimidate me to control me. This is very offensive.

America is a land of freedom of speech. I disagree with the abuse of this freedom to call people offensive names or make false accusations. But, we do have freedom of press and speech. If you attack people verbally or in writing for writing something you don’t like, you are endangering the very freedoms our national forefathers risked or sacrificed their lives for. Do you really want to life in a country where we either don’t have freedom of speech or people can’t use their freedom of speech because of a bunch of bullies who bully anyone who is (a) caucasian and (b) opens their mouth and says what they think or makes any small joke, or makes any reference to race offensive or not? This is the reality of contemporary American culture. We no longer have freedom of speech, especially if you are white. Talk about unfair color lines.

If you don’t like racism to happen to you, then don’t enforce color lines on whites. Suppressing whites might seem fair to you based on the horrors that happened in American history, but suppressing white speech is racism, not fair, and a violation of my constitutional rights. Freedom of speech and press means I can say what I like without being intimidated, harassed, or put in jail.

In Europe, due to Muslim extremists, whites no longer have freedom of speech. If they say anything against Islam they could be threatened or killed. Many of you are turning America into that kind of reality. If you see the long term effects of this bullying you would reconsider. The bullying is really disgusting. I don’t know what goes on in some of your heads, but you really feel justified demeaning people and its just plain wrong — and also dangerous if you value freedom.

Also read: What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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May 27, 2019

Aaron calls the “Above and Beyond” Notary Hotline

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:48 am

AARON: Hi, Notary hotline?

HOTLINE LADY: Hi, this is Roxanne (sultry voice), what kind of a question do you have for me today?

AARON: Ummm, this is the NNA hotline, right?

HOTLINE LADY: I think you’re mistaken. We’re not the NNA, we’re Above and Beyond.

AARON: Oh.. Um… Okay, so can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: What?

AARON: (a little louder) So, can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: I still didn’t hear you clearly, honey.

AARON: (yelling) Can I notarize a deaf signer?

HOTLINE LADY: Not so loud. What do you think I am… deaf??? To answer your question, you must be able to communicate directly with the signer. So, you could do what the deep water divers do and use a mini chalk board to communicate.

AARON: Can I bring my wet suit to the signing too? I’ve always wanted to do that.

HOTLINE LADY: With some of the clients you deal with, the oxygen tanks might come in handy. So (pause) what are you wearing?

AARON: What????

HOTLINE LADY: You heard me you shy little guy you. (pausse) What are you wearing?

AARON: Is this a real Notary hotline?

HOTLINE LADY: You keep confusing us with the NNA. The NNA sticks to giving professional answers to Notary questions. We do that, plus a little more, hence the name Above and Beyond Notary Hotline. I bet you’re wearing something sexy. Would you like to tell me what is it. I’ll tell you what I’m wearing.

AARON: Oh God. Ummm. I’m wearing (pause) a shirt.

HOTLINE LADY: Oooooooh. That sounds sexy. So, what do you do for a living?

AARON: I sell paper.

HOTLINE LADY: That sounds ex–citing. Do you think you could use a girl like me to help you sell a little more paper?

AARON: You might make the business a little less dry and academic.

HOTLINE LADY: Try steamy and sultry and definitely not academic. I’m a high school drop out, yet, I have a “way” (said slowly) with words. And another question for you in regards to your career. Are you living the dream or are you living for paper?

AARON: Ha ha ha, that’s a line from the Notorious BIG hip hop movie when they meet the agent in Brooklyn. In my case, I’m living for reams and reams of paper. My dream is paper.

HOTLINE LADY: Well anyway, it was fun talking to you. I hope I steamed up your car windows adequately.

AARON: You steamed me, shocked me, but you didn’t grill me. Tomorrow I have to talk to the boss about quotas and believe you me, he’s going to grill me about every single analytic number.

HOTLINE LADY: Well let me know if you need a good marinade. Can’t grill a sales employee without a good tomato and vinegar based marinade.

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