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September 2, 2014

Notarized Occupancy Affidavit

Where to get a Notarized Occupancy Affidavit

Typically Occupancy Affidavits are included in a loan document package. The document basically makes you claim that you reside in the property being borrowed upon as your primary residence, and not an investment property, second home or property to be rented out.

As with any other document, make sure the document is complete before calling the mobile notary you found on to help you. Also, make sure your identification is current and on your person. Also, remember that if you make any untrue statements to the notary while you are under Oath, that could be considered an act of Perjury. Affidavits in general are notarized using a Jurat which requires the signer to sign in the presence of the notary and to swear under oath.

Good luck and be honest!


September 1, 2014

$30 loan signings. Is it worth it even in the best of circumstances?

Filed under: Marketing — Tags: — admin @ 8:05 am

Believe it or not, there are companies out there offering signings for $30 and $35. Can you believe this? The nerve of some people to offer a notary such a small amount of money for such a huge headache. Even if you are signing only one document, the headache of trying to send documents back, invoice, get paid, and schedule is simply not worth it.

I remember that when I was a notary I did an assignment for $30. It was a single document. I actually got a few assignments like this. When I did regular mobile notary work for offices, I would charge about $35, but they would pay me cash on the spot. There was no waiting for payment or wondering if I would get paid. It was immediate gratification.

Back when I was first starting out in 1999, Nation’s Direct gave me signings for $30. But, I was not expected to walk the borrowers through the loan. One of their staff members did it over the phone. All I had to do was notarize a few signatures and wait for their phone call to end. It was not the best pay, but this is how I got started in the business, so I don’t regret it. But, if I was offered this type of pay now, I would have a fit!

Even if a $30 signing is within a mile and is only a single document, is it worth it? Maybe if you are really hungry. Maybe it is better than not getting any offers at all, but most notaries would rather that the phone just doesn’t ring.


August 30, 2014

Taqueria El Notario — a Notary Taco Joint

Filed under: Humor — Tags: , , — admin @ 3:13 am

We wrote some other fun blog articles about The Notary Hotel, Notary Fast Food, Notary haute cuisine, and others. But, this one is about a notarial taco place. Hope you like it. Just don’t over do it with the hot sauce. It is very potent here.

Dot your eyes, and cross your tortillas!
Welcome to Notary Taco, or as we call it Taqueria El Notario. Please make sure you have errors and “emissions” insurance if you eat the three bean burrito for the sake of our other patrons. Since we had a few Notary wannabe gangsta’s, instead of a drive through window, we have a drive by window. The window is extra low in case you are driving a low rider. I guess I’m a few decades behind the times, but in Los Angeles, we still have a few of those around.

Before you read our menu, please read the following disclosure:

Notice of Right to Carnitas
As a customer of Taqueria El Notario, you have the right to eat carnitas at any time during business hours. There is no limit to how many carnitas tacos you may consume. Please sign and date to indicate that you have read this document and are aware of your right to carnitas… and pastor!

Here are a few of our choice items:

Habanero Rescission Sauce
If you still alive 3 days after consuming this, you have the right to rescind.

Personally Known Pico de Gallo
Eat this regularly with our home-made chips, and you will feel like you know us.

Pollo of Attorney
I know it sounds a bit loco, but our pollo is so good, we got it patented by an Attorney, hence the name!

Backdated Burrito
The freshness of the ingredients is up to date, it is just that we put yesterday’s date on the burrito.

Salsa Verde Venue
State of California; County of Los Angeles! — The salsa is green at this venue

Avocado Affidavit
This chunky guacamole is so good you’ll swear by it!

Tequilla Lime Testimonium Ice Cream
Just be-clause…

Revoked Refried Beans
Eat these and your commission will be suspended, revoked or terminated — if you have gas.

Notary Commission Carnitas
One of our customers has been eating this dish his entire notary commission — hence the name.

Lengua Tacos
Enjoy one of these before you take an Oath.

Quit Claim Quesadillas
One customer liked these so much she sold her house to be able to afford them every day!

Many notaries come here daily. We hope you like our sauces, dishes and desserts. We hope you liked it, and we hope you come again.

You might also like:

Welcome to The Notary Hotel

A date with a notary at “Le Jurat”


August 29, 2014

Notary Information for Beginners – Best Posts

Filed under: Loan Signing 101,Public Interest — admin @ 11:02 pm


What is a Notary Public?

What makes a mobile notary a mobile notary?

10 ways to find the perfect notary!

Notary Journals from A to Z

Everything you need to know about journals

Identification requirements for being notarized

Notary Certificates, Notary Wording & Notary Verbiage

Become a Notary

Notary Applicant Information

Notary Oath of Office information

Notary Acts

What is a Jurat?

Everything you need to know about Acknowledgments!

Distinguish Acknowledgments from Jurats

How many acknowledgments do we need?

Optional info on Acknowledgment Certificates

Information about various notary procedures

Interesting and uncommon notary acts

Common Notary acts from A to Z

Additional Info

Industry standards in the notary business

Fraud and forgery related to the notary profession

Which states allow e-notarizations?

Notarizing your foreign language document!


August 29, 2014

Put up or shut up!

Filed under: Ken's Blog — Tags: , , , — admin @ 3:25 am

Put up or Shut up
I write this from the viewpoint of the Title, Escrow, Signing Service, etc. I am looking for a reasonably priced, no hassle, dependable Notary. I want a Notary that I can depend on to do the job right, taking up a minimum amount of my time. Our firm processes many projects concurrently, and my time is better spent talking to my clients than to a Notary. A fast way to my “do not call list” is to needlessly waste my time.

As I look thru the notes sections on I see much self praise. Most Notaries seem to have a very high opinion of themselves, usually “backed up” by fuzzy, unsubstantiated claims to perfection. I’m not a “bottom fisher” – we generally pay $150 for edocs, and expect to receive a package that is useable, without corrections; or having to FAX to our borrower. We pay fast and often; understanding that Notaries appreciate prompt payment.
Our firm prefers to use a select few reliable Notaries. Occasionally, we need to add a name to the list. That’s one of the hardest aspects of my job. Selecting a representative that truly embodies our standard of excellence is my responsibility. My clients see ME when the Notary arrives. It is my reputation, and commission that are “on the line”.

Talk is cheap. If you want to impress me, show me the money. Put your fee “at risk”. Offer me a total guarantee of perfection. That does impress me. I frequently select a Notary who offers me a total guarantee that the package will be perfect. For that Notary I’m willing to sweeten the fee with extra incentive pay. It’s no secret that some projects are very much more important to me than others. My “key clients” must, really must; receive royal treatment. We both know the Notary fee is generally trivial compared to my commission. But even more important is for me to maintain my clients trust. An extra $50 won’t break me; it’s worth it for the right Notary.

If you really are the Notary Super Star you claim to be; put it in writing. Tell me how you triple check the package. Let me read the many positive reviews posted about you. Then, to clinch the deal; offer me your “flawless” guarantee. I pay more than most. But, I want a partner with a vested interest; not just a “hired hand”. I know, there are dozens of ways to have a “flaw” in the documents. It’s not complex; but does require the ability to pay attention to detail.
For Notaries on our really exclusive “error free” list; we make some concessions. We need to know that you are happy to receive our call and will perform to a very high standard. It’s part of our business model that some deals don’t fund; and, if you made no error it’s not your fault; nor will it affect your pay. After a few routine, or one high priority assignment, you are on the list. We take the “no flaw” aspect very seriously. Miss an initial on page eleven of the Mortgage and you fall from grace forever; no second chance, no check will be sent; never to be called again. We will FAX you the error in lieu of a paycheck.

Our terms are harsh, our standards are very high; and our pay is over industry standard. Like I said, don’t waste either my or your time. Unless you are confident you can deliver a flawless package every time – work for someone else. But, if, you are “that good” – we will treat you with the respect you deserve; and welcome you as a partner; not “just a Notary”.


August 28, 2014

The notary asked Siri a notary question. I knew something was wrong.

Filed under: Humor — Tags: — admin @ 8:43 pm

I knew something was wrong with this notarization. I went to a notary office. I presented my passport as identification and the document. The notary said that he normally accepted drivers licenses and wasn’t sure if he could accept a passport.

First off, this notary is an idiot, of course you can accept a passport. That is the most formal type of government issued photo-ID with a physical description and expiration date. But, in any case.

So, the notary fumbled around. He couldn’t find his California Notary Primer. He couldn’t find the number to the NNA hotline — if that is still an active program. He had forgotten most of what he had learned about notary law and was in a real quandry now.

I mentioned to the notary, that he could look online at the Secretary of State’s website to see what identification requirements are for being notarized in the state of California. The notary said he didn’t have time for that. So, what does the notary do? He whips out his i-phone and asks Siri.

Notary: “Siri, can I accept a passport as identification for being notarized in California?”
Siri: “May I help you with something?”
Notary: “Yes, I just asked a question.”
Siri: “Um… I didn’t quite make out what you said, can you rephrase that?”
Notary: “Yes, can a notary accept a passport as identification for being notarized in California?”
Siri: “Hmmm, I can’t quite understand your thick Boston accent, can you have someone who speaks a little more normal ask the question?”
Notary: “Never mind…”

So, I showed the notary how to fill out his journal. I also let the notary know that Siri is not authorized to give advice on issues relating to notary law and that she could be sued for the unauthorized practice of law, not to mention impersonating a virtual notary!


August 28, 2014

I Love Lucy – The Power of Attorney

Filed under: Humor — admin @ 7:06 am


LUCY: Ricky?

RICKY: (reading paper) Yeah, hon.

LUCY: I just got my hair done. You like?

RICKY: (buried in paper) It’s nice.

LUCY: You like the color? It’s my natural color, you know.

RICKY: (buried in paper) Uh-huh.

LUCY: Blue!

RICKY: (buried in paper) Sounds lovely.

Lucy rips paper away from Ricky.

LUCY: Ricky Ricardo, you haven’t been listening to a thing I said!

RICKY: I’m sorry, honey. I’m just trying to forget about the show I’m doing at the Copa.

LUCY: Show?

RICKY: I have so much to do beforehand, I don’t know how I’m gonna get it all done. The rehearsals. The publicity. The contracts. The manager wants one thing splained. The agent wants another thing splained. Ey-yi-yi-yi-yi.

LUCY: I’m good at splaining! Ricky, I know! Fred can be your power of attorney.

RICKY: Fred can be my what?

LUCY: He can act as your agent. You know Fred used to be a notary public.

RICKY: Fred? Really?

LUCY: As a landlord, he figured it might come in handy with other duties on the job. But he didn’t renew his commission. Not that he wouldn’t if you needed him to be your power of attorney.

RICKY: How come he didn’t renew?

LUCY: Ethel told me it was a secret.

RICKY: A secret? Lucy… you were never good at keeping secrets…

LUCY: Ricky, I promised Ethel I wouldn’t say anything…

RICKY: Lucy!

LUCY: (spilling beans) Two tenants wanted him to authorize an affidavit of domestic partnership.

RICKY: Without getting married first? Ey-yi-yi-yi-yi. Well, I don’t blame Fred for not renewing his commission.

LUCY: Bob and Arnold.

RICKY: Two… guys??

LUCY: Yep.

RICKY: We won’t be able to accept gay marriage until they land a man on the moon! Or Liberace gets married.

LUCY: Fred authorized the partnership. Whoops.

RICKY: So that’s the secret you weren’t good at keeping!


FRED: Who feels like playing gin rummy?

RICKY: Not me, Fred. I got a lot on my plate.

ETHEL: Fred never has a lot on his plate.

FRED: If you learned how to cook, maybe I would.

LUCY: Ethel, Ricky needs to find a power of attorney. Know anybody?

ETHEL: Uhhh… You mean drafted or notarized?

RICKY: Speaking of “drafted,” Fred, how will the notary know if the document was professionally drafted or drafted by a licensed attorney?

FRED: In fifty years, notaries will have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy, as long as you signed it.

ETHEL: Lucy, you didn’t happen to open that big round thing on your face with lipstick again, did you?

LUCY: I’ll have you know these are the natural color of my lips.

ETHEL: You didn’t answer the question.

LUCY: See, I am good at keeping secrets!


ATTORNEY: Very well, Mrs. Ricardo. Now you are attorney in fact. You can take this to any notary, get it notarized, and Mr. Ricardo’s contracts will be perfectly valid for both his manager and his agent.

RICKY: Now, Lucy, just because you’re an attorney in fact doesn’t mean I want you coming up with some hairbrained scheme to get into the show.

LUCY: Now why would you think that?

RICKY: Why wouldn’t I think that?

LUCY: As your attorney in fact, it wouldn’t be breaking the law if I…

RICKY: Lucy!

LUCY: Okay, okay. Jeesh. What a grouch.


NOTARY: Have you your document and I.D. ready?

LUCY: Here’s my driver’s license.


RICKY: Anything wrong?

NOTARY: This can’t be your license. Under “hair color,” it says “red.”

LUCY: Well what’s wrong with that? It is red.

NOTARY: Do you swear under oath that’s you were born with that hair color?

LUCY: Ehhhhhhhhh.


LUCY: Need a replacement?

RICKY: Huh?! But… I thought that was you.

LUCY: You thought wrong. Lucky for me I can fit into her dress.

RICKY: Where are my bongos? What’s that pungent odor I smell coming from that beatnik over there?



August 28, 2014

Bob Newhart – Notary Envy

Filed under: Humor — admin @ 7:05 am

The Bob Newhart Show – Notary Envy


MR. CARLIN: Notaries hate me.

BOB: Go with that, Mr. Carlin.

MR. CARLIN: I asked one to notarize a contract I drew up with the guy who sold me my toupe. And he wouldn’t swear it looked real.

BOB: The contract, or your hair?


BOB: I’d say they probably both looked real.

MR. CARLIN: Then how come you’re staring at my head like there’s road kill there?

BOB: I wouldn’t call it staring.

MR. CARLIN: I didn’t get to the other reason I hate notaries.

BOB: What’s that?

MR. CARLIN: They lead exciting lives.

BOB: Compared to who?

MR. CARLIN: Compared to me, that’s who.

BOB: Well, Mr. Carlin, some people find performing exciting. Others find performing notarial acts exciting. Maybe you’re the second kind.

MR. CARLIN: For that, they gave you a degree?


CAROL: Scuse me, Bob? Emily’s on the phone.

MR. CARLIN: Carol, would you go out with me if I became a notary?

CAROL: What’s my other option?

MR. CARLIN: (to Bob) See why I hate notaries?


BOB: Hi, honey, I’m home.

EMILY: Hi, Bob. Dinner will be a little late tonight. Howard’s been interrupting me every five minutes.

BOB: Why should tonight be any different?

EMILY: How was your day?

BOB: Fine. Mr. Carlin has notary-envy.

EMILY: Notary-envy? I never heard Freud’s theory about that.

BOB: After he came up with that other theory, why try to top himself?


HOWARD: Hi, Bob. Hi, Emily. Do you have any cold cream?

EMILY: I think there’s some in the medicine cabinet. I’ll go look.

HOWARD: You keep your cream in the medicine cabinet?

EMILY: Oh, you want cold… cream. We just have milk.

HOWARD: Oh well. I’d ask to borrow a cup, but that would make me sound like a clichéd neighbor.

BOB: Howard, have you ever had notary-envy?

HOWARD: Have I! Those seals. Those embossers. It turns me positively green with envy. Then again, flying around the world as a pilot turns me green, but not with envy.

BOB: Thank goodness for vomit bags.



August 28, 2014

Mary Tyler Moore Show — Mary Dates a Notary

Filed under: Humor — Tags: — admin @ 7:04 am

Mary Tyler Moore Show – Mary Dates a Notary

Mary wraps up her call at WJM.

MARY: (on phone) That’s great, Tom… I look forward to seeing you too… Yes, I… (looking around to see if Murray and others notice her) … swear under oath I’m looking forward to seeing you too… Bye-Bye.

MURRAY: Not that I was eavesdropping or anything, Mary. But when you swore under oath, I didn’t see you raise your hand.

MARY: Tom Bronson. He’s that new guy I’ve been seeing. Owns his own business. Really… very nice.

MURRAY: Not that it’s any of my business, but what’s his business?

MARY: (under her breath) He’s a notary.

MURRAY: A what?
Ted walks in from the studio.

MARY: He’s a notary! Notary public! Go ahead. Make the jokes.

TED: Noter Republic. That’s that dinky place near the Republic of Chad?

MURRAY: Notary… Public. It’s who Mary is dating.

MARY: Murray!

MURRAY: I’m sorry, Mary. If you didn’t want it to get out, he should’ve been a notary private.

TED: (chuckling) You’re dating one of those guys with the seals? How’d you guys meet? On… Affix-up?

Even Murray can’t help but chuckle.

MURRAY: Ted, did I just hear you demonstrate actual wit? Did you say… affix… as in to attach or impress a notary seal to a document… up?

TED: That’s right! You guys think I don’t know how to be witty, but I live, eat and breathe “witty.” I can “demonstrate actual wit” with my eyes closed.

MARY: (under her breath) As long as the cue cards fit under his eyelids.

Murray and Mary both appreciate Mary’s tiny dig.

MR. GRANT enters.

MR. GRANT: Mary, how ‘bout lunch? The new Italian place across the street is supposed to have killer lasagna. My treat.

MARY: Thank you, Mr. Grant. But I’m already meeting someone for lunch.

MR. GRANT: Oh… okay.

TED: Is that your… affix-up?

MURRAY: Ted, it was witty the first time. Now it’s… you.

MR. GRANT: That’s fine, Mary. You can spend lunch with someone you have a history with. Someone who knows all your imperfections and still likes you for who you are. Or you can go on some… fix-up.

MARY: Mr. Grant, it’s a man I’ve been seeing for awhile now. Okay? Not that it’s… anybody’s business. And he’s a notary public.

Mr. Grant stifles a giggle.

MARY: Notaries Public provide a valuable service. They certify contracts. They certify deeds. They’re public officers. They have their own seals. People swear in front of them.

TED: Like meter maids.

MR. GRANT: Ted… did I just hear you demonstrate actual wit? Did you swearing in front of a notary public with swearing because a meter maid just gave you a ticket?

TED: (closing his eyes) Now watch me say it again.


Mary’s apartment later that night. Rhoda is drilling Mary on how her lunch date went.

RHODA: So you had fun?

MARY: Yes… I don’t know about… fun, per se. It was pleasant. Very pleasant.

RHODA: A notary public. When you swear you had a good time, were you solemn enough during the oath?

MARY: Rhoda, you too?

RHODA: What, kid?

MARY: Tom is a lovely man. He’s a good person. He’s considerate. He’s… boring, Rhoda!



August 27, 2014

Notary celebrity glossies at the cleaner’s

Filed under: Humor — Tags: , , — admin @ 3:16 am

When you go to the cleaner’s in Los Angeles, or many of the restaurants, they will have pictures or glossies of celebrities. These glossies typically get signed by the celeb too. Celebrities grow on trees around here in Los Angeles. But, what if notaries were celebrities.

Can you imagine dining at Jerry’s Famous Deli? You finish your mishmash soup, and then you glance on the wall and it’s Susan the Notary in her notary outfit! OMG! Not only did Susan sign her photo, but she had the signature notarized too! Then, the next day you go to the Mailboxes place to pick up your mail and you see a glossy of the Mail Boxes Notary guy in his sports car!

But, in real life, how many notaries do you know who are celebrities? Maybe if you are Notary of the year with the NNA, you might be somewhat famous for a short period of time. If you insist on finding out what the solution is to this pressing problem, I’ll tell you! The notaries in our fictional stories would make great notary celebrities. Bar-tender Notary. Talk show host notary; Notary superman, and others. These guys would make great glossies. So, if we all close our eyes really tight and pray really hard, maybe this fantasy can become a reality!

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