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July 28, 2014

The wife fainted on the floor!

Filed under: Guest Bloggers — Tags: — admin @ 7:10 am

A young beautiful Indian couple in their 20′s had asked me to come to their home to get some documents signed and so I entered their house and proceeded to get the documents out for the signing when suddenly the wife fainted onto the floor! I was stunned! The husband didn’t really know what to do so we got her on the couch to lie down and I personally called the paramedics. Meanwhile, the husband seemed more bothered about the fact that I was a guest in the house and was extremely concerned that I was there to witness the event. I was trying to help his poor wife, but he was trying to politely walk me out the door so that I wouldn’t be involved at all. I think he was a bit shocked and stunned at what had just happened but seemed more concerned of the fact that I was there than his wife’s current state. After he walked me out the front door, I actually stayed outside and waited for the paramedics to show up. They checked her and found out that that she was really dehydrated, which caused her to faint. Luckily, the next time I went back to get the documents taken care of, they were fine and I got them signed!

Tweets:
(1) The wife was really dehydrated which caused her to faint. A cause for a resigning!

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July 27, 2014

Your Notary Survival Kit

Filed under: Ken's Blog — Tags: — admin @ 3:06 am

Your Notary Survival Kit
You already have the essentials when going out on an assignment. Your “kit” includes your stamper (perhaps in multiple sizes), embosser, pens (black and blue) plus an assortment of forms. That’s just the essentials, undoubtedly you carry more. Some might need a fingerprint pad. It’s wise to carry pen refills, or spare pens. You have learned to have a 12V cell charger in the car at all times; perhaps you carry a spare cell phone battery. Over the years you have learned from the Scout Motto of “Be Prepared” and are ready to handle most situations.

Great. But how about items for yourself? We tend to travel far for our fees, often without much in the way of prior notice. Having a survival kit is really a good idea. We all know the basic survival needs include food, clothing and shelter. A pull top can or two of Spam, along with a box of crackers and a few granola bars can come in mighty handy. That Spam is salty stuff, best to add a bottle or two of water. Hmmm, where is that water going to go? Add to the survival kit a few packs of “TravelJohn”, it’s unisex and works for anyone. It’s a nifty product that gels urine instantly and remains odor free and spill proof. Capacity? 28 ounces, you should not have had a 6 pack if you are driving! To prepare for “solid waste” a large zip lock (double seal top?) works well. A roll of toilet paper would be a welcome addition in times of need.
On to clothing; at least carry two wool blankets. OK, you are a trained professional driver, but the nail that finds its way into your tire has no respect. A warm jacket is also nice. A hat, gloves and raingear should be considered. Does it sound like you are going camping? Perhaps you will need to sleep in the car. A flashlight with long lasting lithium batteries would be nice to have.

For shelter you probably have the car. If not, a way to summon help, when out of cell coverage; might be essential. Nonsmoker? Good for you. But then you probably don’t carry matches or a lighter. A pair (essential gear should have backup) of butane lighters for making a signal fire might solve a big problem, with a very small investment. A powerful flashlight is also good.

Had a long signing session in a loud environment? Reach in the glove compartment for an Aspirin. Do you require regular medication? If you are stranded how will your body react to not receiving your regular pills? Were they coughing? A quick squirt of hand sanitizer might make the difference between being sick and avoiding their bug. “Mad Money” should always be with you, ideally hidden in the car. Two hundred in cash might be just right if the road is closed and you need to spend a night in a motel, or have a fan belt replaced.

The above items are by no means an all inclusive list that is right for everyone. My writings are intended to make you consider the concept of a survival kit. We must individually determine what is necessary. Keep in mind that we often go to strange places; many rely on their GPS to get to the site and home again. Roads in both urban and rural areas are subject to closure. It’s not a sure thing that you will be getting home as expected. Take a few moments to consider what you would like to have stored in the trunk of the car. That kit of essentials might be just standing by for a long time. Select items that can survive extreme heat and cold.

If you think about, plan for, and prepare for being stranded; panic will not be an issue. Just imagine yourself in that situation; what would you want to have with you? Be Prepared!

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July 26, 2014

Do not call the Title Company?

Filed under: General Tips — Tags: , , — admin @ 8:56 pm

One notary had instructions from the signing company that said, “Do not call the Title Company”
He felt that those instructions meant — if you want to get paid, call the Title Company, otherwise you are a sucker!

One of the most ill-reputed signing companies (you’ll recognize the name if you hear it) used this technique. Then, they sent a partial payment for several of the loans the notary signed — it was enough to confuse his bookkeeping and get him off their back.

Title companies have a reputation, and can also fire the signing company which would be a huge loss of revenue for the signing company. The Title company can be your best ally in a billing dispute. Try the Attorney General as well if all else fails.

Tweets:
(1) One notary had instructions from the signing company that said, “Do not call the Title Company”

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July 25, 2014

In SC all you need to get married is a notary

Poor Sandra really wanted to be married. She read a lot of blogs and learned that all she needed to get married was a South Carolina Notary Public. So, she visited 123notary and looked up some notaries. She read through the notes sections carefully to find notaries who could marry her. Finally she found someone.

Charleston Notary & Wedding Service — get married with us!
This outfit sounded better than Weddings 4less, the nearest competitor.

So, Sandra called them up, and asked about their services.
Sandra: “Can you marry me?”
Vickie: “You mean, will I marry you?”
Sandra: “Either way, I need to get married. Let’s get it over with.”
Vickie: “I just emailed you a picture of me.”
Sandra: “Oh, I’m so disappointed. You are the wrong gender!”
Vickie: “It doesn’t matter. It is only a wedding!”
Sandra: “No, it is just that I can’t marry a woman, and if I did, I would choose someone a little younger and more graceful looking.”
Vickie: “Oh no, I’m not going to marry YOU, I’m going to MARRY you to a guy. You have a guy, right?”
Sandra: “It’s okay, I can’t marry you anyway, because my fiance Chuck would be disappointed, not to mention immasculated. His true love running off with ANOTHER WOMAN. Shocking!”
Vickie: “Well, we don’t want to immasculate anyone, especially not on such short notice. How’s 5pm Thursday. I can meet you on the East side of town in the area where there is that huge lawn and the pretty buildings from the 1800′s. ”
Sandra: “Sounds like a deal. I do.. I mean I will be there. By the way, do you accept credit cards?”

Tweets:
(1) If ulive in SC, all you need to get married is a Notary. Just make sure the notary is right right age & gender though or u’ll b disappointed
(2) I need a notary to perform a wedding for me. But, do I get a refund if the marriage doesn’t work out?

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July 24, 2014

Notary runs his business out of his car

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 8:40 pm

This particular NYC Notary Public, Shahid Pervez was found offering notary services out of his car which he parked on the Upper East Side of New York City. He offered services to those near the Indian and Pakistani consulates.

This Notary drove two hours a day from his suburban home in Fairfield, CT to get to his lucky corner in the city on Madison & 64th Street and offer NYC Notary Services.

For those of you who are considering having a mobile office, this guy brings new meaning to the concept of mobile offices. He plugged a copy machine into his cigarette lighter and offered curbside copying services. Just for the record, notaries should invest in a high power inverter, high power battery, and have equipment that won’t drain your fragile car of its energy resources. Notaries are advised to get a truck if they want a mobile office due to the enhanced power resources that a truck might have.

Shahid’s advantage is that people in his area are confused and in a huge hurry. They need something emailed, copied, or notarized now and there is no time to wait. The time efficiency of his service is so amazing that he is saving people thousands in lost labor per day by being fast, and being where they need him to be.

Mr. Pervez even has a flyer in the consulate advertising his services: “Notary Copies Green Car 64th Street and Madison Avenue.” He charged $1 for copies, and $2 to $100 to notarize forms. By the way, legally, you can only charge $2 per signature in New York.

Translation is no problem for Shahid who is fluent in five languages including: English, Hindi, Arabic, Persian, and Urdu with a smathering of French, Spanish, and Italian as well.

Shahid makes between $40 and $500 per day and averages about $50,000 per year. It might not be big money, but it keeps him off the streets — so to speak.

Unfortunately, although it is possible to get a vendor license, working from your car is never allowed. Personally, I think that he should open up a Newspaper booth type spot and sell soft drinks, chai, samosas, newspapers, notary services, copies, and more. That should bring in about $100,000 per year in net revenues, don’t you think?

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July 23, 2014

The signing at Big Bend!

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:12 am

The call came in. It was a guy in Mexico who needed a stamp from a Texas Notary Public. But, he couldn’t get his feet on Texas soil, and the Texas Notary couldn’t notarize on the other side of the border. So, what to do? After talking with his hiking buddies, this Texas Notary Public who we will call Tex got an idea. The online information about Big Bend National Park says that the river route is a canoe excursion that is popular with many. You are allowed to dock on the Mexico side of the river to repack your stuff, but you cannot leave the boat and walk around.

This is the one part of the United States where you can cross the border unofficially without breaking the law. Now, if the Mexicanos who peddle goods want to cross over to sell something to you, they can get in big trouble with the immigration folks.

So, this notary had an idea. He had seen picks of the Thailand floating market where business is done on small boats. He was going to meet this Mexican gentleman on a canoe. Both of them would have a canoe, and their transaction would be done on the river.

A floating notarization!

So, Tex drove down to his vacation with his notary bag and camping gear. He liked to sing, “This is a song about a boy named Mary.” It’s a cowboy song from the good old days. His father wanted him to grow up tough, or not at all. In West Texas, probably not at all, but that is a separate discussion.

Octavio was on his boat and met Texas at the appointed bend in the river. Octavio had a waterproof jacket for the documents too. A prepared camper. Tex handed Octavio the journal to his boat and said, “Don’t drop it in the river or I’ll be mad!” All went well. Tex stamped the document, handed it to Octavio, and they both went on to enjoy their camping, hiking, boating weekend out in Big Bend National Park.

The End.

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July 22, 2014

What is iClose? Is it like uVerse?

What is iClose?
is a web-based closing system offered by a settlement services provider. With iClose, the borrower appears before a Notary Public (inp person) to sign a hard copy of a limited power of attorney (LPOA). The LPOA allows a representative of the title company or lender to sign the borrower’s mortgage documents (I don’t like the way this is sounding). Typically, the borrower will then log onto the online iClose system to review and approve the loan documents using an e-signature (electronic signature.) The title company or lender representative signs all paper documents in the closing package, including the Deed of Trust (Mortgage), and a title company or lender Notary notarizes the signature of the representative.

Why use iClose?
In my opinion, this sounds like a very unorthodox way to sign loans. It sounds complicated, not really that fishy, but convoluted. Wouldn’t it be easier to just sign your own loan? That way your name and thumbprint will appear in the Notary Journal if there is ever an investigation. The chance of something negative happening is small, but on a half million dollar loan don’t you think that doing it in a straight way makes more sense?

To sum it up, I think I like uVerse better than iClose, although I’ve never seen either.

Tweet:
(1) iClose is a web-based closing system where a representative signs for you after you sign an LPOA.

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July 21, 2014

He pawned his used notary seal at the pawn shop

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:23 am

Of course it is illegal to let anyone else even hold your notary seal. That is why the idea of a notary pawn shop is so hillarious!

Notary: “I’d like to pawn my embosser.”
Clerk: “Oh, that’s great, we have a lot of customers interested in embossers these days, what’s it made out of?”
Notary: “Genuine stainless steel.”
Clerk: “We prefer the gold plated ones, but that will do.”
Notary: “So, what can you offer me for it?”
Clerk: “$20 cash.”
Notary: “Oh well, I need the money so I can pay my cable TV bill. The signing companies are behind on paying me.”
Clerk: “Hmmm, maybe they should visit me as well. Do they have embossers too?”
Notary: “I don’t think they need one, they get us to do all of their dirty work.”
Clerk: “Shame. ”
Notary: “So, who are you going to sell it to?”
Clerk: “I know a guy name Vince. He can get a fake ID from China and pretend to be you and notarize stuff.”
Notary: “Great.”
Clerk: “You don’t mind being investigated by the FBI from time to time, right?”
Notary: “Hmmm, I never thought about that.”
Clerk: “Oh well, too late, the notary seal belongs to me now.”
Notary: “Wait a second…”
Clerk: “It’s too late, if you call the FBI now, you’re as guilty as I am. You committed a felony by selling your notary seal to me.”
Notary: “Felony? But, I needed the money!”
Clerk: “Too late buddy, you should have read your state notary manual. They are cutting the education budget this week. You can thank God that at least you know how to read even though you choose not to.”
Notary: “Good point… Uh, is there any chance I can buy back my notary seal?”
Clerk: “Sure. I’m a business man. $100 even will do it.”
Notary: “$100?”
Clerk: “It’s better than being investigated by the FBI and going to jail. But, on the other hand, then you’ll get your cable TV for free!”
Notary: “Hmmm… 3 hots, a shower, and free cable.”
Clerk: “Just one thing.”
Notary: “Uh-huh?”
Clerk: “Don’t drop the soap.”

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July 20, 2014

The Seinfeld Episode About a Notary

Filed under: Guest Bloggers,Humor — Tags: , — admin @ 7:15 am

George’s parents (of all people, parents who constantly bicker with one another) are renewing their vows. George wants a notary to witness their vows in writing…

The Seinfeld Episode About a Notary aka Sign-Feld

GEORGE: Get this. My parents are renewing their vows.

JERRY: Frank and Estelle? (off George’s nod) The vows to argue with each other till death do they part?

GEORGE: What makes you think death’ll stop them? You think the Grim Reaper’s grim now?
Wait’ll he meets the “ungrateful dead”.

JERRY: Renewing their vows. It’s kinda sweet actually.

GEORGE: Remember that notary Kramer hired to authenticate the picture of Jesus on a piece of toast?

JERRY: The guy who swore it was Johnny Depp.

GEORGE: I still say it was Colin Farrell. I need Kramer to throw me his name. I may hire him.

JERRY: Looked more like Uncle Sam to me.

GEORGE: No way was that Uncle Sam.

JERRY: So why are you hiring a guy who worships Johnny Depp? Wouldn’t it make more sense if you were Johnny Depp?

GEORGE: I want him to authenticate the vows. If he can corroborate…

JERRY: Attest?

GEORGE: That’s right. If he can affirm the vows to be genuine, maybe then the loony birds will have to live by them for a change!

JERRY: Unless their vows are to continue not living by them.

Kramer enters.

KRAMER: Guess who’s the new errors and insurance salesman? You’re lookin’ at him!

JERRY: What makes you an errors and insurance expert? Although I admit your expertise when it comes to ensuring you make errors is second to none.

KRAMER: Remember that notary I hired?

JERRY: The one who saw Johnny Depp in a piece of toast?

KRAMER: It was Jesus, Jerry! Anybody with half a brain could tell you that!

JERRY: You’re right, you just did.

GEORGE: What was his name, Kramer? I need to hire a notary.

JERRY: Why do you want to hire a notary who doesn’t know Jesus from Johnny Depp?

GEORGE: Or Colin Farrell! He got it wrong. Maybe he’s cheaper.

KRAMER: (offering) Here’s his business card. Come on, George. Don’t you think Colin Farrell has better things to do than pop up on a piece of toast?

GEORGE: Jesus doesn’t??

KRAMER: Jesus works in mysterious ways.

GEORGE: Do does Farrell. He doesn’t even do talk shows.

KRAMER: Jesus doesn’t even do Charlie Rose!

JERRY: Will you two knock it off?

KRAMER: I’m suing the guy for affirming it was Depp over Jesus. And now I can also sell him an errors and insurance policy that’ll absorb his liabilities for an honest mistake.

JERRY: If it was an honest mistake, isn’t suing him a little dishonest?

KRAMER: I’m Cosmos, not Jesus.

GEORGE: What kind of liabilities?

KRAMER: The difference between the cost of a certifiable Johnny Depp piece of toast on eBay versus a certifiable Jesus piece of toast on eBay. You do the math!

Elaine enters, munching on a piece of toast.

ELAINE: That’s it. I am done. He’s gettin’ a Dear John text.

JERRY: Who?

ELAINE: The teeth picker.

JERRY: Can’t you at least give him some floss first?

ELAINE: Floss. Toothpicks. Sucking between my teeth. The guy can’t take a hint.

GEORGE: Are you officially breaking up with the teeth picker?

ELAINE: The man is (displaying the last of what she’s munching on) toast.

KRAMER: (Eyeing toast) Is that who I think it is?

JERRY: Here we go.

GEORGE: If he’s so bad at picking up on hints and you want him to get the message you’re dumping him, don’t text him. Write him a Dear John letter on paper that a notary witnesses. So he can corroborate it.

ELAINE: Attest?

GEORGE: Yes! Affirm to be correct, true or genuine.

ELAINE: Since when are you the notary expert?

GEORGE: When I was a kid, I had a dream about being a notary. Other kids were dreaming about naked women. I was dreaming about squeezing embossers. Your own seal. Administering oaths. It’s a very respectable line of work when you think about it.

JERRY: So why didn’t you ever take it up?

GEORGE: Since when am I respectable?

TO BE CONTINUED…

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July 20, 2014

I need a notary, but I want to be a notary too?

Well, I thought I had heard it all. I guess not…..

A 123notary call comes in, I answer and on the other end is a very sweet lady inquiring about our loan signing courses. I ask her if she is a notary and she tells me that she is not. I find out her state of residence and proceed to look up the information on how to become a notary public in her state. I let her know that this is a prerequisite to becoming a signing agent. I spend several minutes with her explaining the ins and outs of the business.

As the conversation is coming to a close she says that she is ‘really looking for a notary’ Now, I am a little confused, I share this sentiment with her. She goes on to tell me that she had tried calling some of our notaries here at 123notary in her area because she has several documents that needed notarizing. She tells me that the notaries are so expensive and are way out of her budget so she gets the idea that if she became a notary that would solve the expense problem. And I ask how would that be possible because in most states it costs money to become a notary. She is unaware of this as well..she continues on and proceeds to tell me that she had felt that if she became a notary she would be able to save allot of money because she would just notarize her own documents. Oh no!!! I tell her that is is BIG no no! I explain to her that you can’t notarize your own signature. You still have to have another notary take care of any notarizations that you would need. She was quiet for what seems like an eternity when she sighs and says, “Its going to be money spent any way you look at it” I tell her, “yep, you got it”.

Before I could tell her potential for income…she thanked me for my time and then hung up…..

I got a chuckle out of it! You can’t fault her from trying.

Until next time…be safe!
Carmen

Tweets:
(1) Are you looking for a notary or do you want to BE a notary?
(2) She would become a notary to save money by notarizing her own documents. Smart!

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