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June 17, 2019

Some folks feel more relaxed with a strange female in their house than a man

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy — admin @ 10:17 pm

Do you feel more comfortable with a strange female in your house than a strange man? All I want to know is how strange are we talking about? Tongue piercings, neck tattoos, spiked hair? It can get pretty strange. Oh, no, that’s not what I meant by strange, I meant a woman who you didn’t know from before….. Oh, now I see. I think that women are universally seen as being less threatening, unless you live near a college campus with a large feminist following (and most of them do.) But, putting feminists aside (and I put them aside as much as humanly possible) I think that biologically, women are less likely to commit crimes, or physically harm someone, and try harder to get along with people than men. Although female cats may be the exception to this rule, maybe I’ve been scratched one too many times, but I digress.

Is it that women are often more personable, or is it that they are less threatening? Is it their more agreeable demeanor? What is it about women that men and women both like. Are women more gentle? A lot of time cats prefer to be held by women humans simply because women are more gentle, and they like it if you talk to them in a squeaky voice too which women do quite well (and so do I.) Women don’t think it is very masculine of me to talk to animals in a squeaky voice, but then, if I do so, I am not trying to impress the human ladies, but the animals with what a kind and wonderful human friend I am.

When all is said and done, I think it depends on the individual who I would like to have in my house. But, I would agree with the others that I would prefer to have a lady visiting my house as a general rule, providing she is not a UCLA student.


June 15, 2019

Organizing the table for efficiency

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 10:18 pm

I’m doing what I do every half year or so. I call it filtering through the comments on my blog to see if any of the ideas stated are worth developing upon. I came up with some good material this time. This idea was called: organizing the table for efficiency.

The lady who left the comment on this topic said that she had a technique for doing this. However, what are good table organizing techniques? Believe it or not, this was a popular topic for Japanese Notary discussion boards during the Edo Period (which precedes the Meiji period just for the record). In 18th century Japan, a great emphasis was placed on “correct technique” for organizing a table. The Notary procedure would start with the Notary knocking on the front door at the appointed time (punctuality was and still is a requirement for not getting your head cut off in Japan.) Then the Notary would do a special type of bow only done by official Notaries Public of the state. Next, the Notary would proceed to remove his/her shoes and then put on a set of guest slippers (commonly referred to as “gesto-srippa”). They would sit at the table.

No signing could take place without enjoying a little tea with some koto music in the background. The expensiveness of the tea would correspond directly to the amount of the loan. Making a mistake by buying run of the mill green tea at Trader Joe’s (because it was on sale) would not only cost you your loan, but in some cases…. your life!!! If you were the tea buyer, you would have to go to one of those fancy tea stores which I refer to as a bou-tea-que (boutique), and engage in a long and drawn out sniffing process having small oral tastes of particular fancy green teas. There would be a long and careful process that would proceed actually purchasing a small quantity of some varietal of tea. Sounds cumbersome, but I bet Mrs. Meao would like the sniffing part.

After the tea ceremony was over and everybody had said a Shinto style prayer to the local Notary Gods, then the signing would begin. First, there would be an organizing of the table. Since in Japanese culture (and in Jeremy culture, whatever that means) there should be nothing else on the table during a signing — no babies, no other papers, no objects, marijuana paraphernalia, samurai swords, and above all else — definitely no liquids. Liquids can go on a chair to the side of the table if you really need them.

Next, you could have the Notary sit at the head of the table and have the signers sit next to each other on the side. Or, the Notary could sit across from the signers on the other side of the table. The main thing is to put the documents face down to the right, or left of the head signer. In Japan that would traditionally be the man, although with all of the women’s rights movements, it might be a woman or a gender neutral person these days.

The main thing is that you have a stack of documents. If you want to go over some of them first before you sign, that is not a bad strategy. But, the documents should flow in an assembly line fashion from one end of the table to the other with no interruptions to then be checked by the Notary and then put in the FedEx Package.

What are your techniques for organizing the table for efficiency?


June 14, 2019

Do you have a snappy personality?

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:26 pm

Do you have a snappy personality? What does that exactly mean? And what are the rewards or detriments of having a snappy personality? You won’t be rewarded at Notary Rotary or 123notary for this character trait. 123notary values reviews, knowledge, and regular maintenance of your listing. But, this is one Notary organization that will reward you for this trait… SnapDocs.

If you are fast on the draw, answer texts in a snappy way, and return phone calls faster than humanly possible – you have met your portal! Yes, ladies and gentlemen… SnapDocs is your place!

On the other hand if you create a lot of typos and you have a “Sappy” personality, you might not do as well there… or here either. But, that’s a topic for a different article, not isn’t it?


June 13, 2019

Notarize this page!

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 8:36 am

You are at a notarization and the instructions say, “Notarize this page.” However, there is no certificate wording on the page. What do you do now? The Notary may not choose the Notary act as that might be construed as UPL. So, just ask the client or signer what act they want and then attach the corresponding certificate to the document. That’s all.


June 12, 2019

To be a good signing agent, do you need to be full-time?

Filed under: Business Tips — admin @ 10:15 pm

One of the comments on our blog stated that one lady believed that you needed to be full-time to be a good signing agent. But, does “good” depend on how many hours per week you devote to your practice? In my opinion, being “good” means having a few thousand loans under your belt, having passed our test, and having a lot of good reviews.

To get to this point of being good you would have had to have been full-time at some point, but does it mean you have to keep being full-time forever? These days there is hardly any work, so how can you be full-time anyway?

So, what do you guys think? Full-time = good, or is that a crock?


June 11, 2019

A Los Angeles detective seizes two journals and complains about a blurry thumbprint

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — admin @ 10:14 pm

Yes people, it really happened. A Los Angeles Notary notarized the wrong person. That person was committing some type of fraud. The next thing you know, some detectives were banging on her door. She had to let them have two of her journals. But, that was not good enough for the detectives. They went through a long whining session.

One of the thumbprints taken by the Notary was blurry. How can you do forensics on a blurry thumbprint? Why was that Notary so lazy that they could not take a proper thumbprint? It’s not rocket science — you just push down — and that’s it. Take thumb, press down in ink pad, rise thumb, press straight down on journal thumbprint designated space, feel good, that’s all.

Then on another journal entry, there was no thumbprint, and trust me, the detectives complained a whole lot about that.

So, if you are Notaries and say, “You’re being too picky Jeremy, and besides, my state doesn’t require that.” There are real reasons why I make the recommendations that I do, and it is not just to give you a hard time. You can get in real trouble without thumbprints and proper journal work. Don’t let it happen to you.


June 10, 2019

Traditional knowledge vs. Modern knowledge

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:44 pm

For those of you who don’t know, I got very sick in March of 2019 to the point where I could not stand up for long without extreme fatigue. It was a stomach flu that initiated with two bouts of severe vomiting 45 minutes from each other subsequent to some tikka masala which I might add that I complained about because it was “not spicy enough.” Maybe I should thank those losers for never spicing their food up to Indian standards instead of complaining because my intestines were having a 5 alarm fire for hours and no amount of Advil would help. (Disclaimer — Advil is a wonderful product that I use regularly and I wish not to dis-quantify or invalidate its effectiveness in any, way shape or form other than perhaps the gel-capsule form.)

I foolishly was concerned that the next day I might not be able to get much done because I would be too tired. I did not realize it would be five days of being an invalid only able to toss and turn in bed and having only four hours per day to be doing work, going to appointments, taking my walk, or doing anything of value.

In any case, I thought that I needed electrolytes since I had vomited so I got coconut water. My doctor said Gatorade is better than fruit juice since it has less sugar. The internet articles by big medical establishments agreed with my doctor (but didn’t nod their head in an assuring way because they were articles and not people.) The truth is that coconut water is lower in sugar than Gatorade, yet seemed to irritate my intestines.

Traditional Indian wisdom is that if you have had too much to drink, are dehydrated or have vomited, then have coconut water. I normally follow this line of thought as coconut water has a generous supply of five of the minerals that you need. Modern knowledge says Gatorade, and Gatorade did the trick and was easier on my intestines. Also, I stopped feeling dehydrated after consuming Gatorade regularly when coconut water (similar amount of sodium & potassium) did not make me stop being dehydrated — beverage for thought.

Traditional Jewish knowledge points to the fact that chicken soup is the cure for the common cold and a long list of other ailments. However, I tried different brands of chicken soup and found that Progresso had magical effects on making me feel good while the other cheaper brand actually made me feel worse. And by the way, Wolfgang Puck’s chicken soup with rice and wild rice was good too, but I still prefer Progresso. So, on night six I went from being bedridden to being able to sit up and work at least a few hours at night for the first time in days.

The irony of the Jewish knowledge is that according to traditional Chinese knowledge chicken and rice are both good for the lung meridian, and when you are sick, your lung meridian normally needs a bit of stimulation. The Jews figured out what to do, but the Chinese figured out the “why” part. Jews are always asking, “why”, but Chinese doctors are always the ones who give the “because.”

So, now is day seven. I am still napping, but am working as industriously as on a regular day… well almost.

I’m not sure if Jewish mothers in law in the 1800’s knew about Progresso, but if I could go back in a time machine with Google translate and use the Yiddish application, I would transmit this very important piece of knowledge. And while we’re on that topic. How long before there is such a thing as Google Time Travel. I think they’re working on it but I never got the memo., at least not when I was supposed to…

So, now is day nine and I feel 95% better. I am fully functional, walking, eating normal food again, and feeling relieved. Because, with that illness I thought I’d never recover and I had no idea how long it would take to recover. I am just so thankful that my body recuperated with the help of sleep, vitamin C, acupuncture, garlic, Gatorade, and of course — chicken soup!


June 9, 2019

A review is worth its weight in cyber-gold

Filed under: Reviews — admin @ 10:58 pm

I give pep talks all the time to Notaries. I want them to get more reviews. I hear all of these sob stories about how there is not enough work, how when there is work it comes from Yelp and doesn’t pay enough, or how they responded to a text in six seconds, but that wasn’t good enough. Then there are the Notaries who work for a few title companies and those title companies don’t write reviews.

You cannot depend on three individuals who work at title companies for your life supply of reviews. You have to beat the pavement and ask all types of people for reviews. And to ask all types of people you need to work for all types of people. So, don’t limit yourself in terms of who you work for. So, work for all types. Accept more types of jobs regardless of pay. And ask people for reviews.

Each time you get a review, it is worth its weight in cyber-gold. Reviews stay on your profile forever. When people visit your listing, the first and most important thing they do is to read your reviews. Whether you get the first call or not depends on how good your reviews are.

If getting reviews is not the most important aspect of your notary career, you are doing something wrong. You cannot succeed in this business without them.


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Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — admin @ 10:47 pm

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June 8, 2019

Next year in Jerusalem

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 11:00 pm

I met a girl who was a mixture of Mexican and Sephardic Jewish. She went on a trip to Israel to connect with her heritage. I asked her where she went in Israel and she said Tel-Aviv. I was a little surprised. Diaspora Jews have said for the last 2000 or more years — “next year in Jerusalem”. But, after being outside of Israel for 1900 years and then her mom spending one generation in Israel and then coming to America and then going back to Israel, she did not even go to Jerusalem? How can you not go to Jerusalem? Even if you are Christian or Muslim it is still a holy city for you. Even Hindus find it holy. According to Hindu legend, Sri Rama Rama Rama Rama spend a day recovering from a long camel ride several thousand years ago in Jerusalem which is not a very well documented fact.

The fact is that Jews have always regarded their spiritual capital as being in Jerusalem, and any other city in Israel or the Middle East with Jewish history (which is most of them if you go back far enough) is secondary. No trip to Israel is complete with a trip to Jerusalem (or El-Uds as the local Palestinians call it.) Jerusalem is the spiritual home of all Jews.

So, based on my recent experience, I think that the saying, “Next year in Jerusalem” should be changed to , “Next year in Tel-Aviv…. or Jerusalem, whichever I can get a better hotel rate on one of those websites where you can get the best hotel matching your specifications for the lowest price.” or perhaps, “Next year in Tel-Aviv… or Jerusalem… whichever is cheaper… or whichever is closer or more convenient.” Speaking of cheapness, I just cheapened a 2000 year tradition. What will people say?

If you go to Shanghai, you could get Shanghaid. If you go to Hong Kong you could get Hong Konged. But, if you go to Jerusalem could you get Jerusalemed? What would that even mean? Would that mean that you get kidnapped by ultra-orthodox bearded men, pass out, and when you awake you find yourself in dark room wearing a long black coat, a furry black hat, a tsit-tsat (biblical garment with four white strings hanging down from the pelvic area) with peyeses (hair that hangs from your sideburns) hanging off your hair in front of your ears with a Torah in your left hand and an Ari in your right (and a chess set not far away either) while others around you are reading the Ana Be-Koach? And then when they finish their prayer they tell you,

RABBI: “Octavio, you thought you were Mexican, but you are one of our people. You were accidentally switched at birth, and we have spent your entire life looking for you. Finally we found you (as you were dancing cabradita) and have brought you back to your real people and your true calling. You are one of us… Baruch ha-shem!”

OCTAVIO: “No wonder. I always saw myself as somehow being different. Every time we hit the pinata with sticks, I always thought — this is not really me. How can this be my tradition? Why do we do this? What is the deeper meaning of life? Now that I have been ‘Jerusalemed’ I know who I really am. Let me redo my hat so there are little balls hanging from strings on all sides of the brim like they do in Espana… there we go… perfect. Now it is time for lunch. I will have cochinita pibil like I always do…”

RABBI: “Cochinita pibil? You may never eat that again for the rest of your life. That is pork and it is forbidden!”

OCTAVIO: “In that case, you might be my people, but I cannot live with you. If a man cannot eat, then a man cannot live!”

RABBI: “Try some of our food. Persian blackened rice and cous-cous.”

OCTAVIO: “Hmmm. I’ll eat this today. But, I must go back to my people in Mexico. After all. I have kids!”

So, now we know why Jews return to Jerusalem and why it is such an important city. We also know what it means to be Jerusalemed. But, we do not know what it means to be Tel-Avived. Maybe we will find out in our next episode.

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