Welcome aboard the Notary (choo-choo) Train.
Today is going to be a busy day. We are traveling from Fort Stockton, TX to Tuc (choo-choo) son today. I wish you all a very nice trip. And since this is The Notary Train, if you need anything Notarized, you are in luck. We have in-house or in-train Notaries commissioned in Texas, New Mexico and Arizona just waiting to (choo-choo) help you.
ATTENDANT: Welcome aboard. May I see some ID please?
RALPH: Here it is. It is an official TX Driver License.
ATTENDANT: I’ll need a blood sample too.
RALPH: I thought you’d never ask. But, I don’t give that out to strangers. But, how about a thumb print?
ATTENDANT: A right thumbprint will do. I was just kidding about the blood samples. After all, a simple retinal scan would be just as good.
RALPH: Hi, I need this document signed. And can you backdate?
TX NOTARY: Umm, isn’t that illegal?
RALPH: Never mind. I’ll ask the other Notary. HEY, I need this document Notarized.
NOTARY #2: When do you need it done?
NOTARY #2: No problem, we are about to cross through a time-zone change on our way to El Paso. Once we have passed it, it will be yesterday.
RALPH: So, you can backdate?
NOTARY #2: I won’t have to. In the mean time, let’s get some Notary snacks at the snack bar. How about a crepe with chocolate sauce that is dispensed from a leaky Notary Seal?
RALPH: Cool. Can I get bananas too?
NOTARY #2: Yes, but you cannot emboss them.
RALPH: Oh, too bad. So, who pours the tea around here?
NOTARY #2: Oh, we have an official TEA agent do that along with transporting blood samples.
RALPH: I love this train. I love it even more when you take a plane ride and arrive at your destination before you left your departure point. That’s a real brain teaser.
TEA AGENT: Can I offer you some tea, or a blood sample?
RALPH: Oh no, I stopped being a vampire years ago.
TEA AGENT: I didn’t, now you know why I love my job so much!
SALLY: Why is this train taking so long? I hope we get to Tucson before my commission expires.
TEA AGENT: Your commission never expires on The Notary Train baby! It’s good for life! By the way, you have a pretty neck.
SALLY: What kind of a psycho are you? Oh getting a phone call.
CALLER: I am trying to track down a particular Notary who did a signing for me in 1968.
SALLY: Well, on The Notary Train, we have lots of tracks if you want to do some tracking. But, you might have to call the Secretary of State. Good luck!
RALPH: I just love The Notary Train. It’s the only Notarial entity that is commissioned in one county and expires in an entirely different one. That’s a great concept — almost as good as reverse time travel.
NOTARY #2: Okay Ralph. Time to do your notarization without backdating. It’s 11:30pm Mountain Time on the 3rd now. Whip out those documents! It’s party time!
RALPH: Okay, let’s do the deed — I mean sign the deed. By the way, why is that guy staring at my neck still?