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August 3, 2010

Funniest things that happen to Signing Agents

Funny situations at signings for signing agents
Signings are usually very normal, but our notaries and signing agents have seen almost everything from roach infested houses, to naked signers, to having a tornado come to the signing. Here are some noteworthy experiences that are from our FACEBOOK profile on May 25th, 2010. WHICH ONE IS THE FUNNIEST?

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Chicken coops
I had to walk around the chicken coops while he collected just hatched eggs. I brought home a 1/2 a dozen.

The two year old
A two year old decided to take all our blue pens hide them and mom could not find them, Lesson keep more pens in the car.

The angry husband
It was probably when a couple began arguing with me present. The husband yelled that she never let him read anything in peace or make a decision so he took his car keys and screeched out the driveway only to end up accidentally running over his kid’s bike in the driveway. We had to wait for him to return so that he could sign the papers as well but… She kept muttering under her breath that he doesn’t understand what he’s signing so what ‘s the point (had to agree with her he seemed unnecessarily confused). Funny thinking about it now but it was dramatic and awkward then. Only two weird incidents like this but they stick out like sore thumbs lol

5 dogs & 3 kids
As a signing agent, I had to notarize for a couple who had 5 HUGE dogs and 3 super hyper kids, that were taller than me, mind you I’m only 4′ 11″ (in high heels! lol ), before I even rang the door bell, I knew it was going to be a challenging job, there were toys all over the front yard, and of course there was a HUGE gate, that I had to get on a tippy toes in order to reach the latch, I walked to the front door, and sure enough, as soon as one of the kids answered one of their huge dogs decided to jump on me and smell me!! to get to know me of course! lol, oh man, I’m cracking up just remembering! The family was so friendly and full of love, it was not a bad experience at all after I shared all my extra pens and paper with the kids.. they were so sweet they even took my business cards and handed them out to their friends and colleagues, I really appreciate that! All in a notary’s day’s work!!

The mistress
I had called the Borrower the day before to confirm, and for some reason I guess the Wife thought I was the Mistress, because that night at 2am, I received a phone call, screaming at me, yelling at me, asking me why i was cheating with her husband, etc!!!!. When i arrived in the morning to the signing, it was the most awkward thing in the world!!!

He had the H1N1 Virus and died soon after
Was told by the signer if her boyfriend came home to grab the papers and run. That was stressful. But the worst one of all happened in April of this year. The signer was an old man with a walker. He started the conversation with I have the H1N1 virus with a 102* fever. He said “Is that okay with you?”. I told him to go home, get better and then resign. I called a few days later and he had died. Very sad.

The little boy
I went to a signing out in the middle of nowhere. The little boy, probably about 4, comes running out and hugs my legs. The Daddy tells him to get back in bed, he hugs tighter, Dad starts to count to 3.. I tell him you better run. Just as his Dad gets to 3, he tears loose and runs and jumps in bed. Then he yells out.. “Hey Lady, whats your name?”.. I say Susie, he yells out “Good Night Susie”..

The naked daughter
Awkward…at a extravagant house w a couple in the morning. Middle of signing the 3 year old daughter comes running out naked. Wouldn’t stop jumping all over the couches and running around. NAKED.

The argumentative selling agent
I had a sale in which the Selling agent and the Seller were arguing. The Selling agent had called the police because he said their dog had bit him when they conducted the final walk through. The Seller’s insisted it did not happen. It was a hostile closing environment until the agent decided to drop his pants to show the teeth marks on his buttocks! I was in tears from laughing so hard. It remains my funniest closing to date.

Can you help give birth?
I was scheduled to do a closing and the borrower called me the morning of to cancel unless……..I was willing to come to labor and delivery as the wife had gone into labor that morning…..but they really wanted to sign that day. I called the company and they said it was my call. I decided to go. They had to get me cleared through security. We would sign a few pages and take a break, then sign a few more and take a break. I did let them know that they could kick me out at anytime…..lol. We did complete the closing. I didn’t stick around for the birth and don’t know if they named the baby after me or not…..but it has been a great story to tell!

Signing on the hood & Affidavit of &#%
There are a couple of them that stick out in my mind.
1- the request to notarize an affidavit saying this lady never had*****with another ladies husband. people think just because i notarize it it is the truth.
2- the lady who insisted i come to her home at 11 pm and sign documents on the hood of my car, down the block cauz she didnt want her boyfriend to know what she was doing. Oh yeah, she snuck out of the house through a window in her nightgown lol. And she was a fairly large woman.

1 – I went into labor at a signing and tried to hide it from the borrower because the first comment he made when I walked into the front door was, “you’re not going to have that baby today are you?” (I did actually)
2 – I had a borrower on a reverse mortgage closing who was expecting me to arrive with a brief case full of cash because he was receiving $70,000 as a lump sum disbursement. Also, he lived in a mobile home on blocks and planned on putting the cash in a floor safe.

Once you get here we can untie my husband
I accepted a signing and when I inputed the address into my GPS, it turned out to be a hospital. I called the client to ensure I had the correct address and she stated, “yes, we are in the lobby waiting for you. Once you get here we will untie my husband’s hands so he can sign this will.” Needless to say, I cancelled!

The tornado
I was sitting at the kitchen table facing the patio, which was high off the ground, doing a signing. It was cold in the house and I thought the borrower had turned on the heat when she got up, but it was too noisy to be heat. My mouth flew open as a huge stainless steel barbecue grill traveled quickly past the patio doors. What I thought was the heat, turned out to be the freight train sound of a tornado! We looked outside and a tree was down, the legs of their covered swing had gone through the side of the neighbor’s garage, and the people across the street had shingles ripped off a quarter of their roof like you would rip the label off a jelly jar. News crews came to cover the tornado while we finished up the signing. My car and the borrower’s house were fine.

Are you allergic to cats & snakes?
As I walked to the door I knew it was bad..bo meets me asks if I am allergic to cats. Um no. Good she said she has 40 and we go in..She turns and asks what about snakes? Um NO..We walk in and cats and snakes..big ones all in and out of cages all over the place..My lungs hurt from the stench..Got out in a big hurry! Yuk!
Let us know which one you think is the funniest, and let us know if you have some funny stories of your own. As you can see, our signing agents have a very interesting life — at least from time to time.
(1) The notary was asked to notarize an affidavit that claimed the signer never had $&%
w/the other ladies husband!
(2) One you get here (to notarize) we can untie my husband!
(3) One signer asked, “Are you allergic to cats or snakes?” What kind of signing is this going to be?

Other related reading material.

Compilation of Notary sit-com episodes
Tips on being the worlds worst notary or signing agent
Humorous and interesting posts from the forum



  1. Carmen and Jeremy, you guys have done a great job with your website. If not for you all I would not have the work load I presently have. I am doing alot of Re-fi’s. I am still studying the Mortgage signing package I bought from you guys. I feel pretty ready for the test, but want to 100%. You guys are the best and hope your site survives for many, many years. This site is not only informative, but an asset to Notaries like myself. You guys ROCK. As a cancer patient you have given me an avenue to do more with my life, where I set my own hours. I have turned no job down, but know if I am having a bad day that is an option. Keep on rocking Jeremy, CARMEN, and the rest of you awesome people at 123notary. 123notary, a one stop place for all imformation needed for notaries around this great country of ours.

    Comment by Fred Herrera — September 28, 2010 @ 11:50 am

  2. Carmen and Jeremy, I started my signing business on your site in 2006. The very day I created my listing on your site, I received 2 orders — my first. This business has been my most successful business ever, and I don’t forget how much you helped me. Carmen has also helped me with her advice.

    I have you both to thank, in part, that I didn’t lose some precious things when my other business began to fail me. Thanks guy!

    Comment by Michael A. Gelman — July 19, 2013 @ 3:15 am

  3. I guess my signings have been pretty dull except for the places I have conducted signings. I have conducted a signing in a hospital room with a sick child in a crib and we used the bed for a table in ,Montgomery, AL. In a Nursing Home in Marion, AL and the man would sort of doze off while the wife was signing and we had to just say his name and he would wake up and sign his name. Before the signing started, I determined he was award and alert but he had to doze off while he waited for his wife to sign. On the hood of a car in the Wal-Mart parking lot in Thomasville, AL. In the waiting room of a Hospital at 11:00 pm in Troy, AL. While a couple has their CPA present and he kept advising them not to sign and they kept on signing and did not pay and attention to them. On a couch and coffee table which was to far away so I had to knell down by the coffee table. Many time on the corner of a kitchen table where they had to sign on their lap. And some places I cannot describe. As far as people signing and having problems when they start to act up, I casually mentions that I will soon be 80 years old and I guess that are afraid I might have a Heart Attack or something while I ma there because I have no problems after that.

    Comment by Lavergne Manuel — July 19, 2013 @ 4:18 pm

  4. I did a closing with the strangest people I have ever met in my life. Long story short~the woman was obsessed with her cat~kept telling me “cute”cat stories…at one point she stopped the closing because she had to get up and wash the cats face~I kid you not~ then the husband stood up and emptied his pockets, keys, wallet cigarettes & a small gun!
    He put it on the table with the barrel facing me. I tried to be polite & asked if it was a lighter~he proceeded to tell me that it was a 22 “they call this a vein chaser because the bullet will travel through your body” I asked him to point it away from me, which he did but then said “You afraid of that little thing? Wait til you see this” he reached over to a book case and pulled out a 45!!! I finished and left as quickly as I could!
    This past Saturday, I did a closing and the borrowers had a beautiful 3 1/2 yr old boy. Personally, I do not like when the parents let the child sit at the table because often they grab the papers, interject & are generally disruptive. I usually give them a piece of paper & one of my “magic pens” This child drew a picture he told me it was a picture of “electrocuted” He then moved over to his mothers lap~alarms screaming in my brain!!! Well Little “Johnny” did not want Mommy to sign~ He screamed at the top of his lungs grabbed at papers which I frantically snatched back~he held her arm and this kid had a fit like I have never seen in my life!! The parents just said “He is at that age” WHAT?! Then “You know how kids are” WHAT?? My husband was in the car in the road and could hear this boy screaming and was texting me asking me “what is going on in there””are you ok” I asked them if they had any type of discipline they used “no we haven’t started that yet” WHAT Finally my nerves were shot! I was shaking. I told them that I could leave but that the docs had to be signed that day and if they weren’t I could not guarantee if they could redraw etc on Monday etc….they really wanted to sign~but not bad enough to get Little Johnny under control/~you have no idea how this child was screaming & clawing! I finally said that I couldn’t take it “Mom you take him to the couch watch TV & calm him down while Dad signs & yes that is what I was calling them MOM & DAD. Mom got him some mild he calmed down and Dad signed then I said “OK Mom you come over and let Dad watch him” Well that boy lost his mind again!!! screaming punching pulling!! Dad took him outside but brought him back in in about 30 seconds then took him to the bedroom~brought him back in about 20 seconds~took him back in again~brought him back in 20 seconds! Mom and I moved around the room to higher and higher places and got it signed~at one point the kid was about to crawl up on a bar stool at the counter and I shoved it away really quickly so he couldn’t!! Finally we were done! Then now here is the real kicker~Dad looks at me and says “I guess we will find out in 5 years if we signed anything bad or not~you really didn’t go over the docs very well”!!!!! SERIOUSLY???? I think most people would have left~ so I calmly said “well I went over the HUD the Note and the escrows before he started and if you can get him to be quite I would be happy to go over them with you again” he just looked at me kind of sheepishly and said “I guess its allright”

    Comment by Chrystie — March 20, 2014 @ 9:34 pm

  5. I laughed so hard at some of these stories that my side hurts. I’ve been in this “never know what to expect” business since 2009
    and I love it because I have never seen two closings that are alike. It’s always an exciting challenge. Sad or funny we all have good memories and I truly appreciate the people I met along the way that allowed me to be a part of their life.
    Thank you Jeremy this was GREAT reading!

    Comment by Carmela Gould — January 15, 2019 @ 8:18 pm

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