(From 2019 – about how I got sick and was bedridden)

For those of you who don’t know, I got very sick in March of 2019 to the point where I could not stand up for long without extreme fatigue. It was a stomach flu that initiated with two bouts of severe vomiting 45 minutes from each other subsequent to some tikka masala which I might add that I complained about because it was “not spicy enough.” Maybe I should thank those losers for never spicing their food up to Indian standards instead of complaining because my intestines were having a 5 alarm fire for hours and no amount of Advil would help. (Disclaimer — Advil is a wonderful product that I use regularly and I wish not to dis-quantify or invalidate its effectiveness in any, way shape or form other than perhaps the gel-capsule form.)

I foolishly was concerned that the next day I might not be able to get much done because I would be too tired. I did not realize it would be five days of being an invalid only able to toss and turn in bed and having only four hours per day to be doing work, going to appointments, taking my walk, or doing anything of value.

In any case, I thought that I needed electrolytes since I had vomited so I got coconut water. My doctor said Gatorade is better than fruit juice since it has less sugar. The internet articles by big medical establishments agreed with my doctor (but didn’t nod their head in an assuring way because they were articles and not people.) The truth is that coconut water is lower in sugar than Gatorade, yet seemed to irritate my intestines.

Traditional Indian wisdom is that if you have had too much to drink, are dehydrated or have vomited, then have coconut water. I normally follow this line of thought as coconut water has a generous supply of five of the minerals that you need. Modern knowledge says Gatorade, and Gatorade did the trick and was easier on my intestines. Also, I stopped feeling dehydrated after consuming Gatorade regularly when coconut water (similar amount of sodium & potassium) did not make me stop being dehydrated — beverage for thought.

Traditional Jewish knowledge points to the fact that chicken soup is the cure for the common cold and a long list of other ailments. However, I tried different brands of chicken soup and found that Progresso had magical effects on making me feel good while the other cheaper brand actually made me feel worse. And by the way, Wolfgang Puck’s chicken soup with rice and wild rice was good too, but I still prefer Progresso. So, on night six I went from being bedridden to being able to sit up and work at least a few hours at night for the first time in days.

The irony of the Jewish knowledge is that according to traditional Chinese knowledge chicken and rice are both good for the lung meridian, and when you are sick, your lung meridian normally needs a bit of stimulation. The Jews figured out what to do, but the Chinese figured out the “why” part. Jews are always asking, “why”, but Chinese doctors are always the ones who give the “because.”

So, now is day seven. I am still napping, but am working as industriously as on a regular day… well almost.

I’m not sure if Jewish mothers in law in the 1800’s knew about Progresso, but if I could go back in a time machine with Google translate and use the Yiddish application, I would transmit this very important piece of knowledge. And while we’re on that topic. How long before there is such a thing as Google Time Travel. I think they’re working on it but I never got the memo., at least not when I was supposed to…

So, now is day nine and I feel 95% better. I am fully functional, walking, eating normal food again, and feeling relieved. Because, with that illness I thought I’d never recover and I had no idea how long it would take to recover. I am just so thankful that my body recuperated with the help of sleep, vitamin C, acupuncture, garlic, Gatorade, and of course — chicken soup!