Perhaps you have seen the film entitled Lakota Woman. Well this blog is about Lakota Notary Woman. She does her Notarizations the tribal way.

SHELLY: Hi, I need something notarized?

LAKOTA NOTARY: Well you have come to the right place. But, I must inform you. We do our notarizations the Lakota way.

SHELLY: Is that something your state notary division requires?

LAKOTA NOTARY: Not exactly. It’s not prescribed and not prohibited. The sun dance on the other hand was illegal for a long time.

SHELLY: Well today’s not that sunny so it shouldn’t be a problem. In any case, here is my document. It is an Affidavit of eye witness. I witnessed a crime taking place and the police wanted me to have this notarized.

LAKOTA NOTARY: Hmmm. Okay, could you sign it in my presence. We need to do a Jurat if you want an Oath with this Affidavit. But, you are the one who chooses what notary act you want. So… would you like a Jurat or something else?

SHELLY: Just as long as it has your stamp.

LAKOTA NOTARY: Yeah… about that. Ummm. How can I explain this to a “wasicun.”

SHELLY: Is that the name for us now? I believe in being politically correct and prefer to be called a “Wasicun-American.”

LAKOTA NOTARY: It means one who is not from our tribe who robs us of our resources. But, because you are paying me, you are giving resources to our people. Hmmm. We’ll have to find a new name for people who meet your description.

SHELLY: How about “Human Being?”

LAKOTA NOTARY: More like, “Human from other tribe who pay us cold hard cash.”

SHELLY: That has kind of a ring to it.

LAKOTA NOTARY: Okay, anyway, politics aside, and with our people, politics is never aside by the way, please sign the document.

SHELLY: Here ya go!

LAKOTA NOTARY: Would you like to swear under Oath or affirm on your honor? Buffalos prefer Oaths but dogs prefer affirmations… oh yes they do, isn’t that right… isn’t that right?

SHELLY: I’ll stick to an Oath.

LAKOTA NOTARY: Okay, do you solemnly swear that the contents of this document are the truth, so help you the great spirit?… That’s what we call God around here. It’s a Lakota thing.

SHELLY: I do.

LAKOTA NOTARY: Now…. in our culture, we don’t stamp documents, we do a stampede. WE believe we are the descendants of buffalos. So, I will do a buffalo stampede on your document.

SHELLY: That might tear the document. The police might not like that

(Lakota Notary lady puts on her buffalo outfit… does tribal song and dance to tape recording of buffalos stampeding. Takes toy buffalos and stampedes them across the document and then stamps the document.)

LAKOTA NOTARY: This is a ritual of our people to honor our ancestors the buffalos. Plus we like playing the drum, buffalos and dancing. But, I gave you the 20 second version because I know how you busy people are. But, there is one last thing we do during our buffalo style notarizations.

SHELLY: What is that?

LAKOTA NOTARY: We end it with a buffalo slider burger with green chili from our Zuni brothers from the South in New Mexico.

SHELLY: Oh, yummm. This is good, and just the right size. Thanks, and I’ll call again if I need to be stampeded… I mean notarized.