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November 14, 2016

Trump caught on mike with a Notary

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Popular on Facebook (A little) — admin @ 11:10 pm

Trump Caught on Hot Mike with a Notary!

We’ve all heard the scandalous 2005 tape by now of Trump with Billy Bush talking about how he can grope women with reckless abandon, simply because he’s a star and can get away with anything. Well now 123notary has unearthed an exclusive tape from 2006 of Trump talking to a notary between takes on season 3 of The Apprentice!

Trump: Did you see that babe’s signature? That thing had more curves on it than she does. I give it a ten.

Notary: Of course I saw it. I’m a notary. Although I prefer the professional “witness” over “see”. I also prefer that other signature over there.

Trump: That’s a flat signature. A flat signature can’t be a ten. Speaking of curves, I’d like to grade her on a curve. I give her a nine. Put it this way: I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. And I can get her into bed, because I’m a star. Now, if I was grading Rosie O’Donnell on a curve, she’d be a negative three. Imagine how low she’d be if I wasn’t grading her on a curve?

Notary: Mr. Trump, why are you groping my seal?

Trump: I’m a star. I can grope anything I want to. I like how it’s not flat. Do you remember that contestant who made fun of my hair?

Notary: The one you said “you’re fired” to?

Trump: I’m suing her. I want you to notarize a demand letter.

Notary: Are you demanding I do that?

Trump: Notarize two demand letters.

Trump notices curvy contestant coming his way.

Trump: Ooh-la-la. I better down these Tic Tacs. Not that my breath isn’t the best breath that anyone ever had.

Notary: Better than a baby’s breath?

Trump: Please. My breath has it all over a baby’s breath. I like the formula for obscene wealth. Not the formula you suck on when you’re not busy sucking on… Hello, my darling!

Curvy contestant: Hi, Mr. Trump.

Trump: Good thing I’m between wives, but hey, if I can cheat on my taxes, I can cheat on wives, am I right? Don’t answer that question, I’m always right. I did have that threesome once when I was literally between wives.

Curvy contestant: I like your hair.

Notary: (Re: not having to sue her.) At least it’s not three demand letters.

Trump: Want to touch it?

Curvy contestant touches it.

Trump: It’s real. As real as what I’m staring at right now.

Curvy contestant: They’re fake.

Trump: Make that…

Notary: Three demand letters. (to curvy contestant) You just implied his hair is fake.

Curvy contestant: Would you sign my breasts?

Trump: I’d be happy to. Cancel the demand letter.

Notary: Would you like me to witness that?

Curvy contestant: Pervert.

Notary: No, I’m a notary. I can help make his signature on your breasts official.

Trump: Even if your rack isn’t “official,” am I right? Don’t answer that, I’m always right. Let’s see, where’s my Trump pen? Unbelievable pen. Every Trump University graduate gets one.

Trump signs away. A little too hard. In a beat, we hear… PHTTTTTTTTTTT. At this deflated moment, Trump responds…

Trump: Your nine just became a one.

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4 Comments »

  1. This article, though trying to be funny is in very poor taste.

    Comment by Ellen Welsh — December 9, 2016 @ 2:47 pm

  2. Definitely poor taste and unprofessional. Very disappointed in notary123:(

    Comment by Laura Kays — December 9, 2016 @ 8:12 pm

  3. I Read your Sharing About Donal Trump Behave He Is Pretty Gross Men Be The USA President ! 123 Thank You For Sharing This Information .

    Comment by Maria Mandrick — January 6, 2017 @ 7:41 pm

  4. To Be The USA President.

    Comment by Maria Mandrick — January 6, 2017 @ 7:44 pm

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