Stay with me here! It may be a wild ride. Yee-haa!
A few years ago, a Texas professor showed his class this wonderful, funny animation, a kind of protest song, “Cows With Guns,” about the underdog…or in this case, the undercow. That was where I first saw it. You can still see and hear this humorous short animated musical cartoon: http://www.cowswithguns.com/cgi-bin/listen_animation.cgi?cart=1344148843.
I am smiling and thinking that it’s kind of like that in the notary business: naturally peaceful, calm notaries begin to feel they have to arm themselves with guns in response to formerly secure, mild-mannered clients who used to be their friends but are now arming themselves with guns. Some people feel taken advantage of…and that stress makes them try to retaliate. They crack. Now that we’ve had our laugh, here are a few stories that are snapshots of how crazy things are…at least in some parts of the country.
There are companies that prey on people, particularly the elderly, and try to get them to take on more debt than they can manage. Internet loan companies are notorious for that. One Texas notary came to the door ready for a signing, and was greeted by a man with a rifle pointed at her. All he knew was that his grandmother had taken out a few loans and had a few debt collectors after her. Says this Texas notary, “He looked at me suspiciously, and growled ‘My grandmother is sick. What do you want?’ He thought I was coming to collect a debt…when in reality, I was doing a notarization from a debt relief company to help the grandmother get out of debt.” In Texas, the law basically states that someone can fire a gun if there is even a remote possibility that a person is threatening you…so a Texas notary might very well feel the stress and carry a weapon, too.
A second Texas notary says, “I have done more than one notarization where there are guns in the house. Cows with guns? How about borrowers with guns? Now I know a few borrowers who feel that they need guns…but a closing is no place for a weapon.There is already too much stress.” She continues, “One time a woman did not want to sign because she thought she was being cheated. She took out a rifle and yelled, ‘Oh no you don’t! I’ll kick your butt!’ and started shooting at the ceiling. She didn’t care what she hit, and that is a fact. I got out of there so fast I almost forgot my notary bag with my glasses and the paperwork for the refi. I had to go to the bathroom real bad, but I got out of there and stopped at a gas station a few miles down the road,” our Texas notary concludes.
Another Texas notary adds, “One man insisted on my doing the entire notarization for refinancing his house while he kept a pistol on the table. Turns out it was an air pistol, but he was acting like it was a real one and he kept fingering it. About halfway through the signing, he went outside to shoot a cat with it. But it could have been me! I didn’t know the difference; I couldn’t tell it was an air pistol. As a Texas notary, I have seen many homes where there are guns…and they are 100% real and loaded!,” squeaks the notary.
An Arizona notary tells us, “Some folks are just crazy…and are probably too crazy to responsibly use the money they borrow. One time, I was greeted by a man in the driveway with a rifle. His girlfriend was in the house and he didn’t want his wife to come in and sign to refinance. Their marriage basically broke up right there in the driveway.” She bites her nails, and continues, “Then there was the man who started yelling ‘This is FRAUD!’ It wasn’t fraud, just some of the documents weren’t correct…and I never found out what he was yelling about…but he had an AK47 in a gun cabinet, and I just decided to skedaddle out of there,” she says. “Another Arizona notary told me that, in one town, a notary was murdered. This woman was a part-time notary, and she was missing and found dead under mysterious circumstances…right after she went to notarize a mentally ill man at his home. A lot of women who are Arizona notaries carry guns in their cars or trucks these days when they go out on jobs,” this Arizona notary asserts.
As all the pro-gun sites claim, only people kill people; guns don’t. Certainly cows don’t. However, as one Arizona notary asserts, “In my experience, people who are so emotional and irrational aren’t always capable of using weapons responsibly…and if those people are my clients, I’d rather they didn’t deal with me with a loaded weapon! If I do not know the people whose signatures I am notarizing, and I have to go way out in the country and deal with these folks…as a single female notary in Arizona or Texas, I just might carry a gun. Based on some of the borrowers I have met recently and the situations I have seen and heard about….If only cows had guns, we’d all be vegetarians–and would probably be a lot better off!”
(1) The notary went out and bought a gun because he heard the borrower had a gun!
(2) Mild mannered peaceful notaries are arming themselves with guns to protect themselves from crazy borrowers.
(3) One Texas Notary went to a signing & was greeted by a man pointing a rifle at her.
(4) 1 borrower felt she was being cheated, whipped out a rifle and said, “Oh no you don’t!”
(5) people who are so emotional & irrational aren’t always capable of using weapons responsibly, especially at a signing!
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I’d rather stop being a Notary than carry a gun