A Notary walks into a bar. He is filled with frustration. His last client didn’t have any ID. Who could he vent to? So, he told his story to the bar tender not expecting any sympathy. The bar tender told him that it might come as a surprise, but he checks peoples ID’s from time to time as well. Then, the Notary said, “So you do understand after all! But, what do you do when someone doesn’t have ID?”
The bar tender said that he had all types of techniques. When young looking people come into the bar asking for a beer, they don’t always have ID. Many of them left it at home. But, this bar tender had “other” systems for verifying age.
BAR TENDER: Which singer sings the lyrics, “What have you done for me lately?”
TEENAGER #1: How should I know?
BAR TENDER: Emileo Estafan is a great plumber
TEENAGER #2: Glad you like him. I let my parents deal with stuff like plumbing
BAR TENDER: You look like a draft dodger with that haircut
TEENAGER #3: If I were afraid of a draft, I would put on a jacket!
BAR TENDER: See, none of these punks are drinking age. If they were, they would know who Janet Jackson is. They would know that Emileo Estafan is a famous Cuban musician, and they would have gotten my Vietnam joke. The tricky kids to deal with are the ones that listen to “oldies.” Of course to me, the music I listen to is not old — it’s mostly from the 80’s, and during that time, I thought that the world would just keep being like that forever! How did I know that Rock & Roll would die!
NOTARY: I see. I’ve learned a lot from you. Unfortunately, my job is not to verify that you are drinking age by virtue of an identification documents, my job is to verify your name so you can sign legal documents affecting real property.
BAR TENDER: Oh, that’s heavy stuff.
NOTARY: Whose that guy wearing shades who just walked in?
BAR TENDER: Him? He’s my parole officer. I got busted for serving under-aged kids by mistake. Hey, it happens. That’s why I developed my list of 70’s and 80’s type questions, so I can be really sure I won’t get locked up again!
NOTARY: Well, I’m glad you have a reliable system! Me — I’ll stick to credible witnesses — preferably two of them, female ones, on both sides of me while I finish this beer!
BAR TENDER: Never heard of those, but like the idea about the ladies.
NOTARY: Now, I have a question for you. How many were there in the Jackson Five?
BAR TENDER: Oh, that was before my time. I haven’t a clue.
BAR TENDER: You got me. I just hope all five were over 21.
NOTARY: They are, but not when they functioned in a set of five. Actually including their manager, there were more than five, but that ruins the joke.
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