Notary Public Authority

The clown business gets slow because of Covid-19 (which is no joke) and a clown desperate for business joins 123notary. He starts getting jobs right away because his notes section is so unique with comical references and cute jokes. He goes on his first signing.

CLOWN: I’m Larry and I’m here to do your signing.

SIGNER: Oh, wonderful. Please come in Larry. Love the face paint. I think this clowning around Notary service will really take off.

CLOWN: Before we handle the Deed of Trust, I’m going to juggle the borrower copies, the main copies, and this plastic cup. This is way more entertaining than your last signer I bet.

SIGNER: Yeah. I read the reviews. “This guy is a clown!” and “He’s good at juggling appointments.” So far you didn’t botch any signings it looks like.

CLOWN: Yes, but the scheduling is hectic. Last week was like a circus going to all of my appointments. It will get worse if the interest rate becomes negative. They will pay you to borrow money.

SIGNER: Interesting. Hey look, I have my own rubber Notary stamp…. Ooops, it squirted you.

CLOWN: Hey, aren’t I supposed to do that? On the other hand, maybe that’s why you picked me. In any case, my slogan is — when it comes to getting your signing done on time, and correctly the first time — we don’t clown around.

SIGNER: I like that tiny car you have outside. How do you fit in it?

CLOWN: Oh, I fit with ten other family members. We run around the car three times before getting in. Half of my sister hangs out the window, but it’s all good. Okay, now let’s get serious… please disregard my red nose when trying to be serious. Let me clear my throat… Um-hmmm. Now, I’m serious… (honk honk). We’ll begin with the Deed of Trust, and then we have the Note. Make sure the property address is correct otherwise you might be paying for someone else your whole life.

SIGNER: Okay…

(20 minutes later)

SIGNER: We finished the package!

CLOWN: Now, since you have high ceilings, we went over that by phone, I am going to walk around the signing table on stilts…

SIGNER: Well done. BTW, Fedex is around the corner and their open until 11pm even during Covid.

CLOWN: Super. And last, but not least, a signing with me is never complete unless the signer gets a pie in the face!!!

SIGNER: Excuse me….. too late. I’ll write a review with a photo warning your other clients of what to expect from you.

CLOWN: Most of my clients are bored with their life and this is exactly what they need. Besides, you didn’t have dessert yet tonight, right?

SIGNER: And I am behind on doing the laundry, now I have one more reason to get it done and fast, not to mention take a shower.

THE WIFE: Ha ha ha… He deserves that pie. He has no sense of humor about anything. Thanks Mr. Clown Notary. Let me double check your work to make sure you didn’t clown around notarizing documents…. nope… it’s all good. I use to be a Notary myself, but not the type of Notary you are.

CLOWN: Thanks for everything. I’ll drop the package right away.

Jeff the therapist gets tired of dealing with insurance companies, secretaries, and the daily hassle of being a psychotherapist and longs to become a Mobile Notary. However, he seems to have trouble transitioning into his new life.

JEFF: He, my name is Jeff Winkler and I am here to facilitate the signing of your refinance. Do you have any prior medical conditions I should know about?

SIGNER: No

JEFF: Are you on any medications that could complicate our signing?

SIGNER: Ummm. Lipitor

JEFF: Oh, is your cholesterol high?

SIGNER: No, because I take Lipitor. If I didn’t take Lipitor, then my cholesterol would be high.

JEFF: I understand. Do you ever hear voices?

SIGNER: I think we all hear voices. My wife is the only big voice that I hear.

THE WIFE: I heard that!

JEFF: Great, well here is the package. Can we sit at the dining room table?

SIGNER: Fine

JEFF: Will your insurance be covering the signing?

SIGNER: I think the Notary fees is listed on the TRID or the Settlement Statement. It’s $200 and out of that I’m sure they pay you at least $35.

JEFF: Yup, sounds like your insurance company covered it and is giving the service provider their usual 20% or so for doing 99% of the work. Let’s see…. Now, here is your rate and on this other document your APR. The APR is higher than the rate, how does that make you feel?

SIGNER: It’s supposed to be higher because it incorporates fees and closing costs into the percentage plus it’s compounded.

JEFF: Aren’t I supposed to explain that to you? Maybe you should be the signing agent.

SIGNER: Does that bother you?

JEFF: No, but it perplexes me. Perhaps you have been through this several times and know the drill. I’m still fresh out of medical school with Loan Signing Systems. I just got a degree in signing from them. Was your mother also a borrower?

SIGNER: We had a loan under my father’s name as a child.

JEFF: How did that make you feel?

SIGNER: I think that is pretty standard. I was not aware of my parents’ financial arrangements.

JEFF: So you had no feelings about that. Uh-huh. I’m taking notes. Do you feel comfortable signing the entire package?

SIGNER: I’m already 90% done.

JEFF: Yes, and on this document here, you need to sign with your middle initial.

SIGNER: Yes, I will… By the way… How does that make you feel?

JEFF: I feel a sense of completeness when you use that middle initial. Something I never felt as a child.

SIGNER: I’m afraid our time is up.

JEFF: Hey! I’m supposed to say that. You’ve taken over my job as a Signing Agent AND as a therapist.

SIGNER: How does that make you feel?

JEFF: It makes my life easier and it provides comic relief?

SIGNER: Great, next time you can lie on the couch during our session. I’m doing a construction loan and I’ll request you. I run a few businesses and we are always doing signings.

JEFF: Oh, perfect. Here’s my card. I also do Weddings and Bar-Mitzvahs

SIGNER: Mazel-Tov. See you next time. There’s a Fedex station around the corner on Wilshire. It’s open late.