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October 9, 2016

Notary Restaurant Posts Compilation

Filed under: Compilations,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 9:33 pm

We keep writing more comedy posts about restaurants with a Notary theme. Here are the one’s we’ve done so far and there are more coming soon!

Notary Italian Restaurant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16493

Sam’s Notary BBQ
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16490

Notary Indian Tandoori Restaurant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16497

Notary Sushi Bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15093

Taqueria El Notario
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9890

Notarizing at a sushi restaurant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22301

A bar only for cool notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22546

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Related Posts

Notary Cheers: Sammy gets a name change form notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

Three Notaries go into a bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3660

Notary Happy Days goes to China & has Chinese food
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16536

The Notary Dating Show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15312

You know you’re a Notary when…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16038

My date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4473

Welcome to the Notary zoo
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15994

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October 5, 2016

Notary Casino 2

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 11:59 am

Welcome to the Notary Casino where your dreams can come true. There are many Notaries here as guests, and also working here in various capacities. Notaries were hired to witness players counting cards to see if they are cheating. Just don’t mess with the big boss (they call him the embosser) of the casino otherwise he’ll make sure your term expires.

Entertainment
For entertainment, there was a Notary doing Notary tricks.
They had a Notary would could make a signature disappear. It was written in time released invisible ink. Then, they had an Elvis impersonator who could make signers disappear. The henchmen of “the embosser” could make people who didn’t pay their gambling debts disappear, but that’s a different story. The third Notary specialized in doing card tricks with ID’s and could make an ID appear out of nowhere with a little help from some friends in China (who didn’t get caught… yet…)

Dining
Drinks at the Casino were all commissioned by their local county clerk. There was Rum from The Domincan Republic; County of Santa Maria; Issueation Date Feb 02, 2004. Instead of expiration dates, the alcohol had issueation dates so you would know how aged it was as 12 to 21 years is considered perfect. For dinner they offered a seal steak and Apostille cut oatmeal for breakfast. The squid ink pasta was a huge hit with Notaries as they loved the fact that they could finally eat ink and brag about it to their friends.

Staff
The staff is very attentive and they acknowledge all people who walk into the casino. They also witness all of the guests, and their movements (creepy.) Notaries were hired to witness witnesses — if that makes sense. (sounds like Russia during the cold-war)

Games
The most popular slot machine is called Signing Company. This game is a real gamble because if you win, you don’t know if it will pay you, or how long it will take to get paid. One Notary was glued to this machine for sixty days and only left to go to the bathroom. To win this game, instead of getting three cherries, you need to get signatures, all with middle initials.

The Wheel
Finally, this casino wanted visitors to spin the wheel, but only when they were about to depart. Each section on the wheel had a different prize or lack of a prize. You could win a contract with signing companies that actually paid if you hit 10. 11 was a dud. 12 was a date with Jeremy from 123notary. 13 was “spin again”. 14 was nothing. 15 was win $100. But, the grand prize was a top spot on 123notary and a collection agency that would pay you all of the money owed to you by signing companies (after their collection fee was deducted) and then they would sue the companies to get their money.

The Fedex Box
All visits to the Notary Casino end at the Fedex box. Any money you won will be Fedexed to you in the form of a cashier’s check sent to your residence. Don’t lose the tracking number! And remember, what happens in the Notary Casino stays at the Notary Casino.

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You might also like:

Welcome to the Notary Casino
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15255

Welcome to the Notary Zoo
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15994

Welcome to the Notary Hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

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October 2, 2016

Notary Dating & Romance from A to Z (Compilation)

Filed under: Compilations,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:02 pm

Over the years, we’ve written many comedy posts on the subject of Notary dating. Here is a compilation of our best romantic Notary posts.

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Affiant — a social media site for Notaries
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410
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But, I’m still a virgin!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14915
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Jane the Virgin Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14899
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How Notary work is similar to online dating
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15763
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My date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4473
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My 2nd date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7074
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My big phat geek wedding
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17053

Notarization on the Steve Harvey Show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13704
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Notary Pick Up Lines Part 1
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9851
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Two and a half Notaries — learning the ropes (string)
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=twoandahalfmen
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Yes, it’s the Notary dating show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15312

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September 29, 2016

Notary Aptitude Test 2

(1) Notary Stamp is to Notary Seal what Attest is to:
(a) A test and a verbal verification (b) swearing and stating (c) The 123notary signing agent online test and proof (d) Oath and affirmation.

(2) Document Date is to Signing Date what Match.com date is to:
(a) Ditching date (b) Marriage date (c) Engagement date (d) Backdate (e) No relation

(3) Backdating is to signing what _____________ is to lying about your age.
(a) Match.com profiles (b) rescission date (c) Notary Applications (if you’re under 18 or not a US citizen) (d) notarizing an acknowledgment an hour before your signing appointment.

(4) Name on Title is to Name on a Document as name on Birth Certificate is to:
(a) Name on your ID (b) Your street aliases (c) Death Certificate (d) Mother’s maiden name

(5) Jurat is to Oath, what Oath is to:
(a) Quaker Oaths (b) Oath written text (c) Swearing (d) Attest

(6) Original document is to wet ink signature as commission paperwork is to:
(a) Secretary of State’s seal (b) name of your state (c) Felony conviction (d) Commission impossible

(7) Venue is to State what State is to:
(a) Secretary of State (b) City (c) County (d) Zip code

(8) Witness is to bank robbery what Notary act is to:
(a) Acknowledgment (b) Jurat (c) Protest (d) Unmarked Bills

(9) Subpoena is to testify what credible witness is to:
(a) Busy-body (b) Bank Robber (c) Subscribing Witness (d) Identify

(10) Middle initial is to document what ___________ is to identification
(a) Name (b) Middle Name (c) Matching or longer (d) Name on Title

(11) Digital signature is to an eSigning what a/an ________________ is to the future of the Notary profession.
(a) eDocuments (b) Notary (c) eNotary (d) 123notary

(12) SnapDocs is to the Notary Profession what Walmart is to:
(a) eBay (b) Retail (c) Amazon (d) Life

ANSWERS:

1. Note to readers, seal has two meanings. It could mean a stamp, or a signature). Answer (a) is correct even though it is part joke and part true.

2. (e) is the correct answer as the document date is arbitrary and could be any date, and has no relation to the signing date although it is commonly the same date as the signing date by convention.

3. (a) Match.com profiles typically have women who lie about their age and roll back the years about five to ten years. But, do men also backdate their age?

4. The name on Title is your official name that the property is registered to which carries a certain amount of official merit to it and permenance just like the name on your birth certificate. However, people do change their names after the fact that could lead to different names on the document or ID. Correct answer is (a).

5. (c) Swearing is a part of the Oath just like an Oath is a part of the Jurat process.

6-12 Figure it out on your own! That was fun!

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You might also like:

Notary Aptitude Test
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15853

Two & a Half Notaries: Detering Notary Fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

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August 26, 2016

Startup Apps that could ruin the Notary business

If you think that technology is changing faster than you can deal with. You are right. But, the worst part is that new technology is putting a lot of Notaries out of business. Snapdocs makes it easy for companies to find low cost competition. 123notary is getting more clicks than it did when Snapdocs came around, but Notaries are complaining about the low cost competition. So, here are some new startups to watch out for.

Notaryz
This company makes it possible to get notarized via web-cam (not legal in many states) or get a Notary to come to you for $30 plus parking. Notaryz doesn’t encourage tipping, but they don’t forbid it either. If you want a Notary who specializes in loan signing, Notaryz will tell you how those Notaries performed on the standardized test they have. Notaryz will also connect you with 3rd rate Attorneys who can’t get a real job who will give you discounted help drafting Powers of Attorney, permission to travel or other documents without you having to leave your desk. Notaryz is doing some brisk business, however is dealing with some tough competition from “PersynallyAppear” — an app that finds you a Notary who will personally appear before you without any digital signatures or web cams.

Roomyz
Are you upset with your roommate and want to pull a prank on them? Well, this new app called Roomyz is for you. They will play a joke on your roommate, send flowers from a nonexistent admirer, or throw water on them while they are leaving the house. Just download a photo of your roommate, use the dropdown menu to select the prank of your choice, or use the text box to indicate a customized prank, and let Roomyz do the rest. You can select from pranksters with reviews and pay them using our “pay once completed” app. Roomyz will take 15% of the proceeds, the rest if for the agent.

PayMyNotary
This app might be a little more popular with Notaries. If Notary can submit proof that a job was assigned to them and the journal entries to prove that the job was done (or somewhat done) then PayMyNotary will go after the signing company who hired you. They will fax, text, call, send threatening demand letters, contact Title, and even go to the Better Business Bureau. PayMyNotary will even contact collection agencies using the new app “Kullect” to get companies to pay.

Kullect
Kullect will let a Notary choose from hundreds of collection agencies to find the best price and best terms to get signing companies to pay them. Just download the information about the Notary jobs done for a particular company, journal entries, and then Kullect will do the rest (unless the server is down in which case you’re on your own.)

NotaryStandUp
This app sends daily jokes to Notaries that they can tell their borrowers. Every day, you get fresh new jokes, so there is no danger of telling the same joke twice. You might get fired by a few signing companies using NotaryStandUp, but you will laugh all the way through the process and your customers will swear that you are a “Stand Up Guy.”

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Apps that Notaries have never heard of that could change your life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16311

New Apps for the iPhone7 that you’ve never dreamed of
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10977

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July 27, 2016

Notary comedy articles about Heaven & Hell

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 11:23 pm

Our posts on Notary Heaven and Notary Hell have always done well. Just don’t backdate or be late on child support payments otherwise you’re likely to end up in the latter.
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HEAVEN
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The Signing From Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2639

Witnessing the intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

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HELL
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Notary Hell — “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat!”
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13196

The Signing from Hell (Carmen’s blog)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=765

Trouble getting paid? Try our demand letter from hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15339

Scary results when a Notary uses our demand letter from hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2006
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PURGATORY & OTHER
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Notary Purgatory
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18936

Notary Funeral — when the commission expired
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17076

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July 13, 2016

Are you a Yes-tary or No-tary?

It was a month or so ago. I was asking Notaries Notary questions about what you can and cannot do. Unfortunately, Notaries often don’t take Notary rules seriously or have just never been adequately trained. The “more, but not less rule” is no good unless you understand which direction the rule runs. The ID can have more than the document, but 40% of Notaries think that it is okay if the name to be notarized on the document has more meat on it than the name on the identification. Good God! My point here, is that the whole point of having a Notary is to verify people’s identity who signed documents. The Notary profession helps to deter and prevent fraud as a result. But, if Notaries do whatever, and don’t follow state rules, then the purpose of having a Notary is defeated or undermined.

To put it shortly, the entire point of a Notary is to say No. If you feel uncomfortable or awkward saying No, then you should not become a Notary. In many Middle-Eastern and Asian cultures it is considered bad manners to say no, so they say, maybe, or later, or perhaps next time, or make up some excuse for not saying yes. Since they can’t outright say no, they beat around the bush. But, as a Notary, you might be facilitating fraud by not saying no. So, get used to saying no. Stand in front of the mirror and say, “No…. NO…. NO!!!!” Do it the way Joey from Friends practices saying, “How you doin’?” in front of the mirror dozens of times mastering his facial expression and verbal inflections. Take pride in saying no. However, for those Notaries that don’t like saying no, worry not! There is a solution. Become a Yes-tary.

But, what do Yes-taries do? Yestaries say yes to illegal requests. Unfortunately they cannot be commissioned and don’t have a stamp. But, maybe they should have an unofficial Yestary Public stamp just to make their job more comedically offiicial. What would be the duties of a Yestary? If someone wants to be Notarized as Mickey Mouse but lacks sufficient ID, you say, YES. If someone claims to be Kim Jong Un and looks Korean enough to you, say yes and stamp his document. If a Taiwanese client wants you to stamp a loose piece of paper because their government requires such a Yestary act, you can do it as a Yestary, but not as a Notary. Because a Notary’s job is to say No!

But, what if they won’t pay your travel fee if you say no? It is actually illegal in many states for a Notary to notarize a document in which they have a beneficial or financial interest. I feel that if the Notary will not get paid a travel fee if they refuse to notarize, then they now do have a beneficial interest of a sort and would be willing to break the law so they would get paid. Get your travel fee up front before you see the signers or the documents or the identifications. That way if a signer isn’t there, or if the name on the ID is not matching, or some other problem, you can forfeit your Notary fee, but still get paid for your trip. Remember, your job is not to please the client, but to uphold the law even if that means hurting someone’s feelings by saying no. Hurting someone’s feelings is better than going to court as a result of facilitating fraud or having your commission revoked!

One last note, it has been reported that some Yestaries have gotten a rare intestinal disease from saying yes too much to illegal requests. Some call it an illness, I call it karmic retrobution. The disease is called “yesentery” and comes from ingesting unclean Notary requests. If you get this disease, just consult your doctor and take some prescribed antibiotics. Good luck!

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You might also like:

Seven error free ways to identify a signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15288

ID: a growing problem
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15074

Credible witnesses: The process explained
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16695

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March 18, 2016

Shark Tank — 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares!

123, IT’S SHARK TANK!

First into the tank is the inventor of a directory that will help notaries vastly improve their business.

JB: Hi, Sharks. My name is Jeremy Belmont. And I’m seeking an investment of $500,000 for 10% of my company, 123Notary.com. How many times have you needed a Notary public, and thought “Damn. Where can I find me a decent Notary Public?” Sharks, your searches are over. With 123Notary.com, we get the most serious customers, because we have the best quality notaries. We get 170,000 visits per month. That’s 170,000 more visits per month than Mr. Wonderful makes to the barber.

MR. WONDERFUL: I’d much rather see my money grow than hair.

ROBERT: So walk me through the business model, Jeremy.

JB: We use a lot of social media and search engines to gather up steam, to get good traffic, and we also keep the site well organized. Make sure people have good notary public note sections, reviews. We spend a lot of time making sure people improve their knowledge and pass their certification.

BARBARA: How is that different from other sites?

JB: They don’t put as much attention into the marketing and organization as we do.

LAURIE: Tell us a little about you. How did you get into this line of work?

JB: I started out by being a notary public.

MARK: Good for you, man.

JB: Starting from the ground up is okay as long as you don’t get ground up.

BARBARA: I get a good feeling from you, Jeremy, and I’m going to make you an offer. But I need a little more skin in the game.

MR. WONDERFUL: Hopefully not the skin around your neck.

BARBARA: I wasn’t talking to you, skinhead. I’ll offer you $500,000 for 20% of the company.

MR. WONDERFUL: Ouch. She just cut the value of your company in half.

JB: I appreciate your offer, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to respect the other sharks and hear if anyone else has an offer.

MARK: I like what you’re doing. I like that you started from the ground up. As you know, I own the Dallas Mavericks. And every time they swear to me they won’t blow a shot, I’d like them to swear in front of one of your top-notch notaries, so I’ll tell you what. I’ll go in with Barbara if she’ll have me.

BARBARA: I’ll have you, Mark.

MR. WONDERFUL: Gross.

MARK: 500 K, 20%. But you get two sharks. Ten percent each.

JB: Would you be willing to split the difference at 15%?

ROBERT: I’ll take that deal.

JB: Would you agree to take that deal by signing this paper I have one of our top notaries witness?

ROBERT: I’m out.

LAURIE: You never told us. Why do you need the money?

JB: I want to buy an office.

MR. WONDERFUL: Where are you working now, out of your car?

JB: No, I’m working at home. I want to get an office, so I can have my staff all under one roof. It’s hard to stay unified when you’re all working in separate places.

MR. WONDERFUL: You live in your car?

BARBARA: You’re so mean.

JB: I don’t want to rent an office, because I don’t like the fact you can’t open the windows. I want to be able to customize it to my own needs, which includes having windows that actually open. I have a hard time working without oxygen.

MR. WONDERFUL: That makes you an “airhead” for the right reasons. I’m fine with that. Well, Jeremy, I’ll make you an offer. I don’t want any equity. Zero. Zip.

MARK: Here it comes.

MR. WONDERFUL: I want a 2% royalty for every signing you make. And after I make six times my investment back – Poof. I’m gone.

JEREMY: Darn. You’re still here.

LAURIE/BARBARA/MARK: For that putdown alone, we’ll match your offer.

JEREMY: I’m about to say yes in… 1…2…3!

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You might also like:

A string of all our Shark Tank Posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=shark-tank

A Notary enters the Shark Tank
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14088

Apps that Notaries have never heard of that could change your life
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16311

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>

February 26, 2016

January 29, 2016

Pastor Notary – can you Pastorize a document?

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 1:08 pm

We have many Notaries on 123notary who are members of the clergy. I always wonder when we will get a good Rabbi who can specialize in Kosher notarizations. But, I don’t think that the laws of Judaism discuss notarial acts just as long as you don’t notarize false gods or golden bulls. But, if Judaism did, I wonder what kind of picky rules they would have. In any case, we have many Christian clergymen who are in the Notary business. The perform marriages, and do general Notary work as well.

One borrower found it nice to have a member of the clergy at his signing. He had been waiting his entire life to say something to a clergyman during a signing. “Forgive me father, for I have rescinded!”

But, my question (sorry to sound tongue and cheek) is if these religious types only notarize documents, can they Pastorize a document as well? And if so, what would the Pastorization process be like. Would they plant some grass on the document to make it more like a pasture? Add a few cows? Or cook it briefly to kill the germs. Or would they make tacos al pastor? I guess the world will never know. But, if you ever come across a Pastor Notary, as him/her/them and relay what you learned to us over here at 123notary. We’re dying to know.

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You might also like:

You know you’re a Notary when…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16038

Welcome to the Notary Zoo
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15994

Can a notary be an officiate at a wedding or marriage?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18907

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