Notary Casino Archives - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice -

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – Control Panel

October 5, 2016

Notary Casino 2

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , — admin @ 11:59 am

Welcome to the Notary Casino where your dreams can come true. There are many Notaries here as guests, and also working here in various capacities. Notaries were hired to witness players counting cards to see if they are cheating. Just don’t mess with the big boss (they call him the embosser) of the casino otherwise he’ll make sure your term expires.

For entertainment, there was a Notary doing Notary tricks.
They had a Notary would could make a signature disappear. It was written in time released invisible ink. Then, they had an Elvis impersonator who could make signers disappear. The henchmen of “the embosser” could make people who didn’t pay their gambling debts disappear, but that’s a different story. The third Notary specialized in doing card tricks with ID’s and could make an ID appear out of nowhere with a little help from some friends in China (who didn’t get caught… yet…)

Drinks at the Casino were all commissioned by their local county clerk. There was Rum from The Domincan Republic; County of Santa Maria; Issueation Date Feb 02, 2004. Instead of expiration dates, the alcohol had issueation dates so you would know how aged it was as 12 to 21 years is considered perfect. For dinner they offered a seal steak and Apostille cut oatmeal for breakfast. The squid ink pasta was a huge hit with Notaries as they loved the fact that they could finally eat ink and brag about it to their friends.

The staff is very attentive and they acknowledge all people who walk into the casino. They also witness all of the guests, and their movements (creepy.) Notaries were hired to witness witnesses — if that makes sense. (sounds like Russia during the cold-war)

The most popular slot machine is called Signing Company. This game is a real gamble because if you win, you don’t know if it will pay you, or how long it will take to get paid. One Notary was glued to this machine for sixty days and only left to go to the bathroom. To win this game, instead of getting three cherries, you need to get signatures, all with middle initials.

The Wheel
Finally, this casino wanted visitors to spin the wheel, but only when they were about to depart. Each section on the wheel had a different prize or lack of a prize. You could win a contract with signing companies that actually paid if you hit 10. 11 was a dud. 12 was a date with Jeremy from 123notary. 13 was “spin again”. 14 was nothing. 15 was win $100. But, the grand prize was a top spot on 123notary and a collection agency that would pay you all of the money owed to you by signing companies (after their collection fee was deducted) and then they would sue the companies to get their money.

The Fedex Box
All visits to the Notary Casino end at the Fedex box. Any money you won will be Fedexed to you in the form of a cashier’s check sent to your residence. Don’t lose the tracking number! And remember, what happens in the Notary Casino stays at the Notary Casino.


You might also like:

Welcome to the Notary Casino

Welcome to the Notary Zoo

Welcome to the Notary Hotel



January 10, 2011

Welcome to the Notary Casino

Welcome to the Notary Casino, where your dreams and ours come true!

Your dream is to have fun, and we will fulfill that fantasy. Our dream is to get you to lose most of your money in the slot machines, and it looks like we are well on our way to that dream.

Spin the embosser! Oh, it landed on a 7. You win… this time.
You win twenty embossed chips! And chips on your shoulder after you lose them later on gambling them away.

Now, it’s time to celebrate in our buffet. The noodles are in the shape of chips. If you want more, just say, “Hit me.” (If you’re into pain, you can also say “Hit me.”) Enjoy our ice sculpture in the shape of a witness.

Instead of pounding steaks, we emboss them in a giant embosser. Additionally, in the seafood section we sell real seal meat sushi and Angus beef. If you want the certified Angus beef, ask for a complimentary Notary. Additionally, if you get in an argument with your husband, you can make him eat his words after you spell them with our letter shaped noodles! The catch at the Notary Buffet is that you have to make a Notarized pledge under Oath that you will finish what’s on your plate. Either that or put the rest in escrow.

There’ll be entertainers and impersonators. Don’t expect to know who they’re pretending to be – We don’t get top drawer entertainment. But as Notaries, you’ll be able to check their ID to learn their actual identities.

Now, time for the slot machines. If you get three oranges, you win one chip. If you get three witnesses, you win ten chips. If you get three embossers, you win the jackpot! We can attest to that.

All we ask is that you personally appear before the slot machines — it’s a legal thing…


You might also like:

Notary Family Feud

The Big Bang Theory: Feeling in control Notarizing

Scribbles: A Notary comedy club