Welcome to the Notary Casino where your dreams can come true. There are many Notaries here as guests, and also working here in various capacities. Notaries were hired to witness players counting cards to see if they are cheating. Just don’t mess with the big boss (they call him the embosser) of the casino otherwise he’ll make sure your term expires.
For entertainment, there was a Notary doing Notary tricks.
They had a Notary would could make a signature disappear. It was written in time released invisible ink. Then, they had an Elvis impersonator who could make signers disappear. The henchmen of “the embosser” could make people who didn’t pay their gambling debts disappear, but that’s a different story. The third Notary specialized in doing card tricks with ID’s and could make an ID appear out of nowhere with a little help from some friends in China (who didn’t get caught… yet…)
Drinks at the Casino were all commissioned by their local county clerk. There was Rum from The Domincan Republic; County of Santa Maria; Issueation Date Feb 02, 2004. Instead of expiration dates, the alcohol had issueation dates so you would know how aged it was as 12 to 21 years is considered perfect. For dinner they offered a seal steak and Apostille cut oatmeal for breakfast. The squid ink pasta was a huge hit with Notaries as they loved the fact that they could finally eat ink and brag about it to their friends.
The staff is very attentive and they acknowledge all people who walk into the casino. They also witness all of the guests, and their movements (creepy.) Notaries were hired to witness witnesses — if that makes sense. (sounds like Russia during the cold-war)
The most popular slot machine is called Signing Company. This game is a real gamble because if you win, you don’t know if it will pay you, or how long it will take to get paid. One Notary was glued to this machine for sixty days and only left to go to the bathroom. To win this game, instead of getting three cherries, you need to get signatures, all with middle initials.
Finally, this casino wanted visitors to spin the wheel, but only when they were about to depart. Each section on the wheel had a different prize or lack of a prize. You could win a contract with signing companies that actually paid if you hit 10. 11 was a dud. 12 was a date with Jeremy from 123notary. 13 was “spin again”. 14 was nothing. 15 was win $100. But, the grand prize was a top spot on 123notary and a collection agency that would pay you all of the money owed to you by signing companies (after their collection fee was deducted) and then they would sue the companies to get their money.
The Fedex Box
All visits to the Notary Casino end at the Fedex box. Any money you won will be Fedexed to you in the form of a cashier’s check sent to your residence. Don’t lose the tracking number! And remember, what happens in the Notary Casino stays at the Notary Casino.
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