Trump Caught on Hot Mike with a Notary!
We’ve all heard the scandalous 2005 tape by now of Trump with Billy Bush talking about how he can grope women with reckless abandon, simply because he’s a star and can get away with anything. Well now 123notary has unearthed an exclusive tape from 2006 of Trump talking to a notary between takes on season 3 of The Apprentice!
Trump: Did you see that babe’s signature? That thing had more curves on it than she does. I give it a ten.
Notary: Of course I saw it. I’m a notary. Although I prefer the professional “witness” over “see”. I also prefer that other signature over there.
Trump: That’s a flat signature. A flat signature can’t be a ten. Speaking of curves, I’d like to grade her on a curve. I give her a nine. Put it this way: I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. And I can get her into bed, because I’m a star. Now, if I was grading Rosie O’Donnell on a curve, she’d be a negative three. Imagine how low she’d be if I wasn’t grading her on a curve?
Notary: Mr. Trump, why are you groping my seal?
Trump: I’m a star. I can grope anything I want to. I like how it’s not flat. Do you remember that contestant who made fun of my hair?
Notary: The one you said “you’re fired” to?
Trump: I’m suing her. I want you to notarize a demand letter.
Notary: Are you demanding I do that?
Trump: Notarize two demand letters.
Trump notices curvy contestant coming his way.
Trump: Ooh-la-la. I better down these Tic Tacs. Not that my breath isn’t the best breath that anyone ever had.
Notary: Better than a baby’s breath?
Trump: Please. My breath has it all over a baby’s breath. I like the formula for obscene wealth. Not the formula you suck on when you’re not busy sucking on… Hello, my darling!
Curvy contestant: Hi, Mr. Trump.
Trump: Good thing I’m between wives, but hey, if I can cheat on my taxes, I can cheat on wives, am I right? Don’t answer that question, I’m always right. I did have that threesome once when I was literally between wives.
Curvy contestant: I like your hair.
Notary: (Re: not having to sue her.) At least it’s not three demand letters.
Trump: Want to touch it?
Curvy contestant touches it.
Trump: It’s real. As real as what I’m staring at right now.
Curvy contestant: They’re fake.
Trump: Make that…
Notary: Three demand letters. (to curvy contestant) You just implied his hair is fake.
Curvy contestant: Would you sign my breasts?
Trump: I’d be happy to. Cancel the demand letter.
Notary: Would you like me to witness that?
Curvy contestant: Pervert.
Notary: No, I’m a notary. I can help make his signature on your breasts official.
Trump: Even if your rack isn’t “official,” am I right? Don’t answer that, I’m always right. Let’s see, where’s my Trump pen? Unbelievable pen. Every Trump University graduate gets one.
Trump signs away. A little too hard. In a beat, we hear… PHTTTTTTTTTTT. At this deflated moment, Trump responds…
Trump: Your nine just became a one.
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How to spot fake ID at a notarization
Most Notaries study Notary law. But, do we keep handbooks that are up to date about spotting fake ID’s? Perhaps we should . Our primary task as a Notary is not to make people feel good, and is not to get the job done either. It is to identify signers and make sure that fraud doesn’t take place. It is better to say “no” rather than to get a Notary job done wrong — hence the name “no”–tary. Otherwise we would be yestaries and the world would go down the tubes.
ID Handbooks
The NNA and other vendors have books going over every state’s identification documents. They can tell you about distinguishing features, new watermarks, and other telltale signs that the ID is genuine.
Jeremy’s Solution — an online ID database
Personally, I think there should be a computer system to let the Notary look you up on a Federal or state database — but, that’s just me.
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Things to look for one the ID
(1) Physical Description
Sometimes the physical description doesn’t match the signer. With ladies changing their hairstyle frequently, it is hard to tell their identity.
(2) Mispellings
Then, there could be misspellings in the name or a wrong name variation.
(3) Tampering
Obvious signs of tampering are almost a guarantee of a fake ID. I saw one of those once and only once.
(4) Watermarks
Finally watermarks are used in identification documents and currency to prove authenticity. It is possible, but hard for a fraud to replicate an authentic watermark. In China I’m sure they’ll figure it out as faking things is their specialty. But, for the rest of us it would not be so easy.
(5) Lack of raised lettering
Many of the newer ID’s have raised lettering. However, without a guidebook, you won’t know which states and which identification years of issue have raised letters.
(6) What’s your sign?
Ask the signer their sign. If they are using a fake ID with wrong DOB it will be very difficult for them to immediately recite their sign. You can also ask for their zip code to spot a fraud.
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Most Notaries do not inspect ID’s carefully. They just record the information in their journal. Unless something fake is jumping out at them, they will not notice that something is wrong. It pays to get a handbook and become and expert. After all, the whole point of being a Notary is to deter fraud. In my opinion, each state’s Notary division should require all Notaries to be experts at spotting fake ID’s in addition to other critical related skills. Maybe one day technology and training will improve.
Smokey bear says — say no to forest fires. Notary Jer says — say no to fake notary identifications — if you can spot them.
You might also like:
Seven error free ways to identify a signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15288
Notarized document expired identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8294