admin, Author at Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com - Page 53 of 149
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

June 1, 2019

LA COUNTY – Traffic ideas

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:54 am

Dear County / City of Los Angeles,
My name is Jeremy Belmont. i have lived in this county for 20 years. I love it here, but you have some serious logistical problems. In this article, I will show that there are several principals that can be applied to traffic retrofitting that are easy, low in cost, and effective. Additionally, there are other techniques which might be more invasive and costly that also could prove optimal in certain specific situations. I will divide this article into sections and categories to make it easier to digest.

Categories.
1. Earthquake preparedness
2. Bicycle & Scooter issues
3. Quick retrofitting for roads & intersections
4. Non-invasive large scale solutions
5. Invasive and costly solutions to serious traffic snags.
6. Downtown considerations

Category 1. Earthquake preparedness.
We live in a city that is prone to earthquakes. Yet since I have been here, we have not had anything more than a tremor. In the event of an unexpected earthquake (such as if mother nature forgets to send a memo), Los Angeles traffic could be crippled not for days, but for years. Highway bridges and overpasses on the 405 and other highways are the most vulnerable crux in our traffic system. Should there be a bad earthquake, and these bridges fall, it could take years to get them all fixed.

My solution is to start fixing the problem long before there is a problem. The worst issue is traffic going over the hill into the valley. East-West traffic from Los Angeles to Santa Monica is another huge issue. Having wide routes that go through the hills that are surface streets makes sense because those will be stable in an earthquake. Such an idea will be unpopular with the local residents as it will tear up their hills, however, for the general good of society it is necessary and it is also necessary to start the project as soon as possible as that may be our online lifeline to the valley. Without it it could take six hours on a good day to make it from Hollywood to Studio City — I kid you not!

Retrofitting bridges and overpasses is another idea. Having detailed plans and available resources and building materials to rebuild destroyed bridges is something to think about now and NOT after there is a problem.

Category 2. Bicycle & Scooter issues
Bicycles and scooters are very environmentally friendly modes of transportation. There are various problem associated with these modes of transportation.

1. Bicycles & Scooters are not subjected to laws regarding REAR LIGHTS.
I believe that all vehicles on any divided road (with divider or double yellow lines) should be required to obey the same laws of the road that a motorized vehicle does. The laws state that bicycles must obey the laws of the road, but these laws are not enforced much.

2. Bicycles & Scooters are not subjected to laws regarding FRONT LIGHTS
Front lights SHOULD NOT BE FLASHING as this is very disturbing. Yes it gets them noticed, but that is the only thing you notice which means that your attention is distracted which could cause death or bodily injury not to mention annoyance.

3. Bicycles & Scooters should NOT be allowed to be used on a sidewalk unless they are on a designated bike path. Bodily injury happens regularly when bikes & scooters use the sidewalk. It is also very disturbing to walk out of a building only to have a near miss with a scooter. There seems to be no law enforcement for these vehicles and this needs to change.

4. Bike Routes.
The city spends lots of money creating poorly thought out bike routes. The result is that the width of the road available for motor vehicles is restricted to allow for an occasional bike. I was on Figueroa and cars could not move. Yet there was a bike path and bikes coming on schedule every two minutes. This is an inefficient use of space. If you got a fixed fee per vehicle your aggregate revenue would go down as a result of this mis-allocation of resources.

Principals of Bike Routes
(a) Bike routes should be built in places where they will be heavily used. Usage could vary over time depending on how thoughtful the route is. A user-friendly route might experience regular increase in traffic while a dangerous and poorly thought out route might not get used much at all.

(b) Bike routes should NOT be built in places with heavy motor vehicle traffic as those roads are already congested enough. Bike routes can weave around the city and should ideally use roads that typically have light traffic. Or, if car traffic can be re-routed (which is not easy) then bikes might be more suited for streets like Figueroa.

(c) Bike highways are something that exists in Europe and might not be cost effective in America. However, bike riders who I spoke to said that a completely separated route would be attractive to them for safety reasons. A bike highway could be elevated, and only built in places with heavy bike traffic. Kiosks could be built for items that bicyclists might like. Locked parking areas for bikes would be good too.

(d) Share a bike system. These days, more and more cities are having shared vehicle systems. You can rent a scooter by the minute. You can rent a bike in Beverly Hills. These systems use apps and credit cards. It is popular, but not safe as it is not run by the city. My idea is to have the city run a simple system where you can rent a segway, bike or scooter, and use it on a separated road. You can pay a machine with cash, smart card, use an app, or use your iPhone to do the transaction. Payment flexibility is something I like. The system would be designed where you cannot run your vehicle off the established route and cannot steal the vehicles as it might be physically impossible to move them off the route (somehow… that is an engineering question… above my paygrade.)

(e) The slow vehicle route. Imagine a system where you see bikes, segways, scooters, and golf carts. These vehicles do not differ drastically in weight compared to bikes vs. cars or trucks. They go similar speeds as well. If they had their own routes that would be safe. But, to make sure you get enough traffic in the routes, having more options for payment, and vehicle choices would increase traffic. If you could pay a dollar and jump on a golf card with some other people to go two or three miles down the road, how convenient is that?

(f) If the idea of separate bike routes happens, buildings could be constructed near the bike paths where users of the system could live.

The below points are for bike routes integrated with regular roads.
(g) Cars need to turn right, but when they do, they might smash into a bicyclist.

(h) Going through intersections is dangerous as someone running a red light might hit you. For roads with bike routes that the city would like people to actually use, you need a safe way for bikes to go through intersections.

(i) Having fewer intersections on bike routes makes sense. Less intersections = less danger.

(j) Having a bike route temporarily go in the middle of the street separated by curbs would be good so that at intersections cars could be in the lane to the right and not pose a danger to the bikes. To get into that middle lane, bikes might need to cross a cross walk, or cross through heavy traffic which once again is dangerous. Streets that intersect with one way streets would pose less issues for bike traffic as bikes could travel on the left on intersections with right turn possibilities and then cross over and be on the right when the left turn avails. This way bikes would not have a conflict of interest with cars at the point of intersections. I would need to draw a diagram to clearly show this point.

The other way to do this is to have a bike route that is always in a middle lane, but have stop lights for the bikes so that the cars can turn into the right lane so that they can prepare for a turn. Using this approach the bikes would stop while the cars are going and vice versa which would cause a lot of delays. On long streets, having cross-overs only every two to three blocks would reduce time lost.

(k) Having bike fly-overs at major intersections would be safe. However, this is expensive. But, by sharing the cross over with pedestrians, scooters, etc., it might be more efficient or cost effective overall.

(l) Allowing bikes to swerve in and out of traffic, from roads to sidewalks and all over is very dangerous and a problem. Bikes need to follow rules and behave orderly.

(m) Bikes should ideally be registered and operators should need a license to operate on a divided road (i.e. with double yellow lines). This will increase the level of safety and education about the rules of the road. Right now we have anarchy which is annoying and dangerous.

Category 3. Quick Retrofitting for Roads to increase traffic.
Roads in Los Angeles are typically overused, and clogged most of the day, particularly during rush hour. There are various causes for this situation. Not having enough road space, clogged intersections, parking on major streets, valets, etc. I have a list of solutions to this type of problem.

1. Building more roads is a solution to the issue of road space. This involves knocking down large swaths of territory and destroying many homes. In the long run it would really help the city, but there would be many complaints in the short run.

2. Having multi-purpose roads is the main reason why traffic is so bad. Roads are used for driving, parking, bus stops, bikes, turning on short distance trips, and other purposes. By having certain roads focus on certain purposes, that might allow traffic to flow. If certain roads are optimized for driving straight for three or more miles, those roads would really move quickly, especially if the traffic lights were optimized. To achieve this goal, parking would need to happen on side streets or alleys and those who want to do lots of left turns should probably not use a long distance optimized road.

3. Unclogging intersections is an interesting problem. There are various ways to do this. Here are some ideas. Some of these ideas I learned about by reading about logistics and city planning on the internet.

(a) Move bus stops away from major intersections. They clog lanes so that only middle lanes can flow. Moving a bus stop a block and a quarter down the street will allow cars to get in and out of the bigger intersections and bus takers will only have to walk an extra block. I think they need the exercise, what do you think?

(b) Don’t allow parking within a block of a major intersection. Having side streets accommodate more parking is a good idea. It is common to have difficult parking restrictions on side streets to please the residents. The consequences is that that main arteries get clogged with parking and that causes traffic congestion, and causes heart attacks in humans if your arteries get blocked by plaque.

(c) Don’t allow parking on major streets in general. Traffic is safer and faster without parking.

(d) Having modified roads that can accommodate a smooth passage for utilizing the “three rights = a left” idea might be good.

(e) Additionally, right turns could be done by entering onto a ramp a block before a major intersection. You would have to knock down a few buildings for this, but it would eliminate the normal congestion at intersections caused by too many turns.

(f) Pedestrians typically cross while people are trying to turn right. this is dangerous and annoying. Having the pedestrians cross 200 feet down the road means more walking, but that reduces the amount of activity at the intersection itself which is good for safety.

(g) Pedestrians could also wait longer to cross, but then have crossing in all directions including diagonally. This would reduce the danger of cars hitting you or startling you by coming too close. This is by far the easiest of all of my suggestions.

(h) There are more complicated logistics solutions. If cards turning left turn left a block or two before the intersection onto a side street at an intersection where there is a lot less going on, and then make a right and then another left onto their main street, that is one way of reducing traffic at major intersections.

(i) Right/Left crossover sections of streets are a new method of traffic reduction that are growing in popularity. If right and left are reversed at an intersection on a cross street, then making a left turn becomes easy. Making a right turn would be more effectively done by turning off to the right a block early, going a block or two, and then making a left and then another right onto the main street which at that point would have reverted back to traffic on the right.

(j) Having rotaries at intersections or rotaries after intersections for those who want to turn around and then go a direction which would otherwise have involved a left turn… This is a way to achieve such a goal without a left turn signal, or a bridge.

(k) Having underground routes for people going through an intersection would free up road space for those doing a right or left turn.

Category 4. Non-invasive large scale solutions.
Going from downtown to Santa Monica during traffic can take forever. Just going two blocks downtown can be a nightmare due to the fact that traffic gets stuck and pedestrians are always blocking your turns which is an issue I addressed above. Building more highways is costly and there is no space. So, what is the solution? Having roads that are designed to move quickly, with optimized traffic lights makes sense. If certain roads are designed to go East quickly and other roads are designed to go West quickly, the city can move. South of the 10 freeway, there is less congestion on those roads.

My idea is to have certain streets downtown be optimized to just get cars out of the city as fast as possible with lights that keep turning green. Those roads could feed into streets South of the 10 such as Adams, etc., that could be optimized to go fast in a particular directions, again with lights that keep turning green. Whether those roads become one way or remain two way, they could focus on people going East on certain roads and West on others. Such a system would reduce load on the 10 freeway and get people where they are going in minutes instead of hours. It might also be an ideal way to get to Culver City or Torrance.

Category 5. Invasive and costly traffic solutions.
Building rotaries is expensive. Large rotaries that are bigger than what is conventional might be a real boon for fast moving traffic. This would involve tearing things down. But, would allow for a fast moving city.

One idea I had would be a rotary that is two miles in diameter with a completely rebuilt city in the middle, or the same old city in the middle. A controversial idea to be sure, but very interesting to think about.

Silver Lake near the 101 is such a place where a rotary or underground road would reduce the huge snags. There are too many intersections and roads going diagonal. The entire are is a mess that could be cleaned up with some expense. Regardless of the solution, the area’s logistics need to be simplified somehow. And there is more than one way to build a rotary. There are convoluted multi-rotaries that are connected to each other with different types of turnaround techniques too.

Hollywood & Highland and crossing over to Burbank have horrible traffic. Creating some underground routes and solutions to traffic snags that would make traffic move smoothly to Burbank would be wonderful. It would probably be possible to achieve this goal without any more bridges going over the 101

Tearing down huge swaths of buildings and creating routes that go straight through the city is controversial but would solve a lot of congestion. Bike routes could be built on these routes and maybe parking solutions as well. The city needs roads that are designed to get people across the city fast without too many intersections. Rebuilding allows for this. Additionally for bikes, long passages with no interruptions are safer and more convenient. This route could go underground near intersections as well. The problem comes when an uncongested new route interfaces with a highway that is badly congested. The uncongested route will become congested trying to take ramps onto the highway. So, what is the solution? Perhaps not connecting to the highways makes more sense. There is no sense in spending billions to create yet another traffic jam.

As a general rule, my strategy for invasive solutions would be to make a list of the city’s worst traffic snags and then to itemize them in order of how critical they are. Those areas should be worked on one by one finding the most sensible and cost effective solution on an individual basis. Cities across the United States are not known for their logistical skills, so it might be necessary to call in professionals from other areas to help with decision making skills.

Category 6. Downtown considerations.
There is too much going on downtown. Too many pedestrians clogging intersections. Too many buses, and too many cards. To simplify, if particular streets would cater to bikes, pedestrians and buses, and other streets would cater to cars, traffic might actually move. If certain streets allow pedestrians to cross without waiting long then pedestrians could move through the city with ease. You only need a few streets to be optimized for pedestrians, so they would not monopolize the whole city center. On streets optimized for cars. you might have pedestrian bridges, but pedestrians would have to wait a lot longer. This way cars could get in and out of the city.

I also like the idea of an elevated pedestrian and bike route. This way you could walk through the city without cars trying to run you down. Expensive, and the bike traffic does not merit this expense, but when you combine pedestrians which come by the thousand, it suddenly becomes a worthwhile investment.

Share
>

May 31, 2019

Your number of loans signed just went down?

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 10:30 am

When I do welcome calls, I will spend the better part of a day offering our newsletter to people and asking them how many loans they have signed. It is so hard for people to think about how many loans they have signed. Don’t they keep some sort of count? When I was a Notary people used to ask. Of course that was back in what I call the “Pre-Instagram Age.” That is a time not far after the horse and buggy went out of style.

When I ask people by phone how many loans they sign, although the answers are awkward, at least I feel I am getting an honest, but not necessarily accurate number. People are more comfortable telling me how many years they have been signing. But, if you signed one loan per year for ten years, that is equivalent to someone who signed ten loans per day in one day. Which experience is worth more and what does it all mean?

But, when I go through people’s profiles and look at their number of loans signed and it says 5000, and then I call them and ask them how many loans they have signed, the answer usually goes down. I ask because I assume they didn’t bother to update their numbers for a year or two… or six. But, I uncover lies, deception, and deceit when I ask this question. How did we go from 5000 loans down to 1500. Did you sign negative loans over the last six months?

Maybe I should keep track of who the liars are. Hmmm. That might be a longer list than I care to know about.

As always, keep your number of loans signed up to date and if possible — honest and accurate, or as accurate as humanly possible.

You might also like:

Number of loans vs. number of years using “since”.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19270

What types of loans do you know how to sign?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16712

A list of things you probably did not add to your notes section
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22287

Share
>

May 30, 2019

What defines what a signature is?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — Tags: — admin @ 10:44 am

I never stopped to think about this until today. What defines a signature? A signature is a type of a mark that is systemically used by a particular individual to identify themselves by name on a document. It is normally a cursive version of their name (do they still teach cursive to the youngins these days?) Some people might print their name in a unique way. Some disabled people might do a signature by x with some subscribing witness. Someone signed using Chinese characters with me as their Notary. And then there are the doctor scribble type signatures too. All of these are acceptable as signatures.

But, how do you know this is their genuine mark? Just check their drivers license and make sure the signature matches up. Sometimes signatures evolve as a person gets older. But the basic stroke style should be about the same. If it doesn’t match up, then you might be at risk notarizing that signature. The signature in Chinese characters I was a little apprehensive or as the Chinese say, “Zhao-ji” about, but I checked the ID and it matched.

In the old days in America, the upper class used to seal deals actually using seals, which is where the expression seems to have come from. They used candle was and a stamp of some sort to seal their business deals on pieces of paper. I saw that in a movie when someone sold a slave.

And in China some people use a square and very intricate seal with four characters on it sometimes written in their antiquated form. They are very beautiful and you can look them up online under the term, “traditional Chinese seal” and then look up images. They could be made from marble or wood, or many types of materials I guess.

But, once I notarized a movie producer from Israel. His signature was some sort of a line with a hook and a dot. He claims he signed million dollar deals with that signature. The only thing I had to say to him was, “You call that a signature?”

You might also like:

Can you notarize a signature in Chinese characters?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18784

The signature name affidavit — what is its purpose?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22541

Bikers on boats — Notaries heisting signatures
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21160

What if the signature or notarization is in the middle of the document?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20525

Share
>

May 26, 2019

X is now a gender and not a generation

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:55 am

The NNA wrote in their blog (and I think this is bad advice by the way) that you should not fill in the he/she/they in California if the gender on the ID says “x”. However, the whole point of the he/she/they is to deter fraud, so by not filling it in, you are inviting fraud (but, without the RSVP card). You no longer know if the person is singular or plural, x-etera. And then asking people to sign next to the “x” presents some other sensitivity issues now doesn’t it. On the other hand, what might make sense is to put in handwriting at the bottom of the acknowledgment that this is a notarization for a single person of gender neutral (or unknown gender) association. That way you have documented the gender and quantity of people. Or, the state could come up with a form that says he/she/x/they which in today’s times makes a lot more “xense.”

When I was growing up there was generation x. Now there is gender-ation x. Boy have things changed. I never thought I would live to see this day. And I have no say in the matter. By the way, I self-identify as being a South African Bushman — is there a spot on the form for that?

It would not surprise me if some millennial came up to one of these transgender people and said, “I self-identify as being a Notary Public.” Do you have a commission? What’s that?

We can change our appearance, but can we change our chromosomes?

You might also like:

Millennial Notaries and gender rules
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22535

The Notary apologizing game
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22576

Demographics and who is reading my blog
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22231

Share
>

May 19, 2019

Testing Carmen on a bridge in 2003.

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:29 am

Ah, another trip down memory lane. Notaries got very upset about my testing in 2017 and 2018. What they need to realize is that 123notary has been testing people from the very beginning, just not so frequently. Since there was so much hostility to my testing and so little appreciation from title companies, as of August 2018 I am cutting the testing to a minimum and doing it mainly by email.

But, back in 2003, I wanted to get Carmen certified. I am the kind of guy who just wants to get it done so I can move on to the next thing. but, Carmen wasn’t ready. She was driving over this huge long bridge down near the port of San Pedro. She was lost, confused, afraid, and not sure what to do once she got to the end of the bridge. Which way should she turn, where do we go now, where do we go now?

I was in a hurry to get Carmen certified, so I asked her a bunch of questions. She was a bit flustered, but she passed. Oh, what a relief. Sometimes when you just want to get the job done you have to just get it done. But, thinking back, next time I test someone on a bridge, I’ll give them the abridged version.

My philosophy is that if you know your stuff, you should be able to test anytime and anywhere – even in your sleep. But, I won’t call after 9pm unless you advertise as a 24 hour notary.

You might also like:

The story of Jeremy & Mitch (who was the boss of the programmers)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20763

Testimonial from Karen about 123notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=22498

Certification matters more for newer members
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21085

Share
>

May 18, 2019

Don’t hate the portal — hate the game

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 11:06 am

A notary on our blog posted a comment calling SnapDocs, “SnapCrap” because the job offers were not worth taking. But, SnapDocs is not responsible for the bad offers, they just provide a super-efficient portal. Don’t hate the portal — hate the game. If the staff at SnapDocs could talk to that Notary, they would call her a “Portal-hater.” And just because you got played, doesn’t make the portal bad.

There are other Notaries on SnapDocs that always get their desired fee. I’m not sure how that is humanly, logistically, or mathematically possible, but I have heard this before. Maybe they live in an area where the buyers are hard up. So, the bottom line is, just because one medium of advertising doesn’t work for you, doesn’t make it inherently bad.

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about SnapDocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

Snapdocs – are the jobs just too far away?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21003

Share
>

May 16, 2019

Notary Quiz of the day

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:30 am

Notaries hate being tested, but love reading Notary tests on blog entries for some reason. I’ll have to ask my psychic why that is. Maybe it is because they are not on the spot with this. Here is a fun quiz of the day.

1. Notaries notarize
(a) Documents
(b) People
(c) Signatures
(d) Signatures on Documents
(e) People’s signatures on documents.

2. Initials. If you initial a change on a loan document, where should the initial go?
(a) To the right of the crossed out text
(b) To the left of the crossed out test
(c) Above the crossed out text
(d) Anywhere around the crossed out text
(e) Below the crossed out text to the right.

The processor I used to work for did not want me to cross out the text, but initial below the text and below the right end of the text. The processing dept. would do the rest according to good old Emily. I wonder how she is.

3. What is the difference between a conflict of interest, interest, financial interest, and beneficial interest? This reminds me of the joke about the Mortgage Broker who left the industry in 2008 because he lost interest.

4. A Notary was asked to notarize a document with no signature line. What should the notary do?
(a) Ask the borrower to write in a signature line.
(b) Tell the borrower that he cannot notarize the document without a signature and signature line.
(c) Write in the signature line himself.
(d) Refuse to notarize the document.
(e) Call Carmen at 123notary and ask for help.

5. A Notary does a job for an old lady at a hospital notarizing a document. The notary asked the lady if she understood the document and she said yes. Two months later all parties were in court because the lady did not understand what she had signed. What should the notary have done?
(a) Ask the lady to paraphrase the document.
(b) Tell the lady how he went to the white house to visit President Johnson and see how she reacts.
(c) Stick to jail signings — they might be criminals, but at least they are in their right mind (whatever that means.)
(d) Start a conversation about current events to do a “reality test.”

6. A Notary was asked to notarize at the peace process. The Palestinians said you can’t have peace without a process. The Israelis said you can’t have peace without security. The Notary said you can’t have a notarization without a signature. After a long discussion, the Palestinians wanted to be acknowledged twice for one signature, Since the Israelis wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of their people, at least a Notary could acknowledge their signature twice to compensate. What is wrong with this picture?

(a) The Palestinians wanted to trade one Israeli signatures they had captive for two hundred Palestinian signatures as a peace initiative.
(b) The signer is the only one who can acknowledge a signature, not a Notary.
(c) An Israeli Notary will not acknowledge a Palestinian signature until they acknowledge the State of Israel’s signature.
(d) Yes, a single signature can be acknowledged multiple times, but it is the signer who does the acknowledging.

You might also like:

Notary aptitude test 2
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17065

Does 123notary have the authority to quiz people?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19469

Notary Public 101 quiz questions
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19520

Quiz – you know you’re a good notary when you…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14912

30 point quiz – Jeopardy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14557

Share
>

May 9, 2019

Donnie Wahlberg and the Notary

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:18 am

DONNIE: Hi, I’m looking for a Notary who is reliable who can help me notarize a few Affidavits.

NOTARY: Well I’m reliable.

DONNIE: Oh you are? That’s great. Because the other Notaries failed to assure me that they were reliable, therefore you’re the one I’m going to hire for my two hundred documents.

NOTARY: Really?

DONNIE: No dumb-ass! You really think I’m going to take your word for it numb-nuts? The fact that you claim to be reliable doesn’t mean jack. This is ridiculous! I’m calling someone else.

DONNIE: Hi, I’m looking for a Notary who is reliable who can help me notarize a few Affidavits.

NOTARY: I’m cooking right now. I’m a bit of a gourmet.

DONNIE: Oh, I have a new brand for you for gourmets with attitude. It’s called “What the Puck, by Wolfgang Puck.”

(disclaimer — this is not a real brand and the reference was for purely comedic purposes and yes, we love Wolfgang Puck’s line of soups by the way in real life. Particularly chicken and wild rice because I like it wild.)

NOTARY: I find that kind of offensive.

DONNIE: Well I find it offensive that you act like you’re on vacation during a fricking business call. Get your head out of your ass and let me know if you wanna work or not?

NOTARY: I politely decline.

DONNIE: I’ll have to find someone else for my 200 Affidavits that I’m paying $10 per head for.

NOTARY: I changed my mind, I’m so behind on my payments.

DONNIE: You’re behind on payments because you put recreation ahead of work as a matter of practice. I need to find a real Notary who takes life seriously. (slams phone down)

DONNIE: (ring-ring) Hi, I need a Notary to notarize a few Affidavits.

KEN: Sounds super. Can you read the name as it appears on your ID?

DONNIE: What’s it to you buddy?

KEN: It’s a legal requirement and believe me, I’m not asking you for the pleasure of asking.

DONNIE: Fair enough. It says…. Donnie Wahlberg, Donnie spelled with an i.e. at the end like your giving an example. And Wahlberg which has an “h” after the a, and the berg has an “e”, not a “u”, not that there’s anything wrong with having a “u”.

KEN: Well I don’t have a “u”, nor do I have anything against “u.”

DONNIE: And you never will.

KEN: You’re probably not my type anyway, but it never hurts to meet new people.

DONNIE: You know something… I like you. You ain’t that bad! You didn’t say nuttin’ stupid like those other nitwits I talked to.

KEN: Hey, don’t knock it. I get a lot of work cleaning up after those clowns. Too bad the clown schools aren’t taking applications because then they could become professional clowns.

DONNIE: I’m not sure I want someone squirting me with water at a signing.

KEN: All I can say is just hope to god they don’t have cream pie for desert after the signing is over. You never know where that could go.

DONNIE: Yeah, tell me about it. You’re hired. By the way, 200 documents isn’t a problem for you, right?

KEN: cha-ching! I hit the jackpot. It just means more journal entries and a little self-massage of my hand when it cramps up. By the way, do you happen to have any good massage oil?

DONNIE: I actually know of some good brands from Whole Foods that my new girlfriend just tipped me off to. She just finished school to become a Thai masseuse, but she’s Irish which is another story.

KEN: Oh really. Tell me more… And by the way, she’ll have to change her accent. People go to Thai massage to hear, “Sawat de ka” and “I do for you.” and not “Ay, the luck of leprichauns… my father O’Flanahan knows a wee over two thousand stories about those creatures he told me as a lass, he did.”

DONNIE: A point well taken. I’ll take her to one of those accent reduction places for people whose American accent is too thick.

KEN: I like it! Just have her put a little nasal into it and whine a little bit. She’ll be perfect.

You might also like:

Jersey Shores Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21228

Shark Tank – notarizing in the shower for executives
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20511

Share
>

May 6, 2019

123notary vs. Snapdocs; AT&T vs. Verizon

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 11:27 am

Snapdocs is a force to be reckoned with. Even though their notaries are bad, and Snapdocs charges a hand and a wrist to use, they still are getting a huge market share. Perhaps we need to compete with them the same way AT&T and Verizon compete.

Maybe I have to talk to the signing companies and offer them anytime minutes if they use our site more. Or maybe I need to offer them new features. Of perhaps I need to offer an easier way to find Notaries on our site.

Most hiring parties I interviewed don’t care if Notaries know anything, they just want people with around two years experience. But, people lie about their experience, so what do the numbers really mean. How many signings do you think these companies really want? If you have signed 200 loans will they try you if they like you?

Maybe I should find a way to pay signing companies to use my site. Every time you use a Notary from 123notary, you can get a chance to win a Starbucks card.

I cannot afford to create the technology necessary to rival Snapdocs, so I have to compete in other ways. Using my femininity is not one of those ways, mainly because I don’t have any.

Perhaps I should try to appeal to generation Z. I don’t even know what they like. I think I know more about foreign cultures in central Asia than I do about generation Z, the post millennials. I do understand generation Y. After you talk to them for more than two minutes, the only question that enters your head is… why?

I think that what will win the battle is finding out exactly what signing companies want and having new search features to give it to them easily. Wish me luck. In the mean time — keep stamping.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about SnapDocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

See our string of posts about snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=snapdocs

Share
>

May 1, 2019

What Notaries don’t like about Snapdocs

Filed under: Signing Company Gossip — Tags: — admin @ 10:49 am

With so many people complaining about Snapdocs, how is it that they survive. Or perhaps with their heavy bills for programming and engineering services, they are not surviving. I heard a rumor that they wanted to sell out to the NNA. I also heard their offer was rejected by the NNA. Their sister site in Germany called DerSchnappenDokument seems to be a little more financially sound though. Here are some things people don’t like about Snapdocs.

1. Cattle Calls (moo)
Notaries complain relentlessly about cattle calls. If so many Notaries don’t like it, then why do they list on SnapDocs? But, it’s worse. Since few Notaries want to work for free, and few Notaries (other than how Kim Kardashian would be if she were a Notary checking her Twitter followers every two minutes) check their texts every minute, it is hard to get responses to cattle calls. After twenty minutes the calls are going out to people an hour away who definitely are not going to work for peanuts. So, a lot of Notaries are annoyed that most of their texts are for jobs that are too far away. What a poorly thought out system! Then, when you finally do answer a text, you find out that someone else cheaper already answered or that they don’t want you. I personally think that Notaries should wear a bell around their neck and have a diet consisting mainly of grass if they want to continue this nonsense.

2. Thin Margins
Snapdocs charges companies to use their platform. Prices change over time and change based on your arrangement with them. Last I heard it was between $5 to $14 per job depending on which features you used. If you used the billing and downloading software, you might pay more while sourcing a notary alone might be cheaper. I don’t know the details but this is what I have heard. The problem is that companies who use Snapdocs feel that they should deduct the SnapDocs fees from what they pay the Notary. So instead of $80, they might only pay $66 to cover their costs. What companies need to know is that SnapDocs offers technology, convenience, and time saving and that the company using it should pay for that as labor saving technology. You should pay the Notary what they are worth instead of trying to bargain them down to rock bottom.

3. Discrimination
SnapDocs is an impartial search and information platform. But, due to the prominent photos of Notaries on their site, those who use the site are more likely to discriminate. Other sites have photos too, but on signingagent.com, the photos are a lot smaller and not as clear, and on NotaryRotary you don’t see the photo until after you have clicked. Users would be tempted to select Notaries based on how they looked physically or racially more than what their skill level was or how they wrote about themselves. At 123notary, it is more about notes, reviews, and certifications — things of substance.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of posts about Snapdocs
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21531

See our string on Snapdocs posts
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=snapdocs

Share
>
« Newer PostsOlder Posts »