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December 27, 2014

Signing Companies that require lots of Fax Backs

Notaries regularly complain about signing companies that require fax backs. But, the good news is that those companies often hire beginners! Whether you like this list of signing companies or not, at least the information here has some type of value. You either love them or you hate them!

Accurate National Signing Service
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5512

American Title
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5840

Ameristar Signing
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6110

Bank of America Loans
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6040

FASS
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2829

Global Notary
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2517

Mortgage Connect LP
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3430

Nation’s Direct
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2436

Service Link
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2384

Signing Stream
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5872

Signing Trac
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5761

Solution Star
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5978

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Fax Backs are a Pain
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=846

Notary Suicide Hotline
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6995

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December 23, 2014

Do you notarize loose certificates as a notary?

… Are we both on the same page here?

Staple it please…
I was reading a discussion on one of the notary forums. They were talking about whether or not you can notarize loose certificates as a notary. The answer is that a notary certificate needs to be either embedded in a document (meaning that the wording is typed in a document below the body of the document,) or attached to the document with a staple.

What is a certificate?
Just to clarify, a notary certificate is a piece of paper with notarial wording on it. It might be an Acknowledgment Certificate or a Jurat. There are other types too such as Copy Certification by Document Custodian in California and other particular states. These certificates are commonly referred to as Jurats, although they are technically not necessarily Jurats as most of them are Acknowledgments.

What can happen if you don’t?
A loose certificate can easily be attached to a different document by accident or on purpose. Imagine that you notarize a Power of Attorney for someone who had several powers of attorney notaries. The wrong certificate could be added to a different Power of Attorney. In a more serious case, they might be attached to a document signed by a completely different person. Such a mistake can be easily caught, but imagine the trouble that might ensue if nobody saw the mistake!

Additional notes & thumbprints are prudent
Just to be on the safe side, it is prudent to put additional information in the certificate such as how many pages the document has, the document name and document date (if any; and which might differ from the signature date,) the capacity of the signer (not allowed to be verified by the notary in particular states,) and more! Some certificate forms even allow a designated spot for a thumbprint which I always used for international documents just to keep people out of trouble — and the foreign government workers told my clients that they appreciated the extra effort!

“…. see attached”

Illegal requests
Many companies in the loan signing business will be in a hurry to get a new “Jurat” for a notarized document if the seal was smudgy, or if they needed to have a new version of the document drafted and signed. They will commonly ask you to mail it to them which is completely illegal. You will be pressured to do so or the loan might not fund. Don’t cave into the pressure. It is your job to uphold the law no matter what horrible consequences come to your clients. Ask for the original document back, and then staple the new certificate form to the document and send it back after destroying the original certificate form. There is nothing illegal about doing a second certificate for a legitimately notarized document providing that the initial one isn’t left hanging around! Additionally, you might inform these Title company workers that their request was illegal and if they make any other illegal requests, you will report them to their state’s secretary of state! Maybe better wait until the second offense so you don’t lose the client. But, if you tolerate illegal requests, you will be encouraging the perpetrators to do it to other unsuspecting notaries who might cave in and get themselves in hot water with the state! (gulp)

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You might also like:
10 tight points on loose certificates
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15449

Sending loose certificates is illegal!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2470

Signing agent best practices: 63 points
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4315

Notary certificates, notary wording & notary verbiage
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1834

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December 21, 2014

123notary Reviews

There are many sites out there that recommend 123notary. However, there is no organized way to find testimonials or reviews about 123notary.com. There are individual notary web pages that mention that they are certified or elite certified by 123notary.com. There are resource pages which recommend 123notary as a resource as well. Additionally, on Facebook, there are discussions where notaries give their honest opinion about which notary directory they like the most. Sometimes they like 123notary most while others prefer Notary Rotary or Notary Cafe.

Here are some links to sites that have unbiased commentary about 123notary.com.

Read this one first!
Leon Austin comments that 123notary certification is hard, but in terms of return on investment, has been one of the best!
http://leona.activerain.com/post/921279/123notary-certification

Trustlink
3 reviews about us. Two had amazingly good luck while another is sore about his free listing being removed. Can’t please them all!
https://www.trustlink.org/Reviews/123Notarycom-205850296

Notary Memphis
This site gives a quick description of the perks of 123notary and other notary sites.
http://freepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~timgatewood/notary/notarylinks.html

Houston Mobile Notary Service
They describe the benefits of 123notary Elite certification.
http://www.houstonmobilenotaryservice.com/accreditations.html

Helpful Links
Find helpful links here about many notary organizations including 123notary!
http://www.alldocumentsmobilenotary.com/helpful-links/

How to get started as a mobile notary.
123notary is listed as a resource
http://afterhoursva.com/how-to-get-started-as-a-notary-signing-agent/

#123notary on our blog
We have many posts under the tag #123notary on our blog. It is us talking about us, but interesting reading none-the-less.
It includes one negative review about us from a Russian lady who complained she got too many calls for notary work from our site. Of all the bad reviews I’ve ever gotten, that is the absolute best.
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=123notary

CA Notary Services
This notary is Certified by 123notary and his page shows up on the first page of Google because he links to his own page from his other sites. Interesting!
http://www.123notary.com/notary-info.asp?id=82389

The Delaware Notary Association
They list 123notary as a resource
http://www.delawarenotaryassociation.org/default.aspx?PageId=9

Florida Preferred Notary
This Notary is Elite certified by 123notary!
http://www.floridapreferrednotary.com/Resources.php

Instagram Photos of 123notary
http://iconosquare.com/tag/123notary

Julian Hill
He produced a VIDEO about his notary service in NYC & mentions he is 123notary certified
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d90AQInXPBg

Here is an Elite Certified Notary’s website
http://www.mobilesignings.com/?p=101

Frank Tabacca is a member of many notary organizations and 123notary certified!
http://www.marinprecisionnotary.com/about/

Notaries discuss 123notary’s Elite Certification
This discussion doesn’t exactly support my cause of selling more Elite certifications. Many notaries claim that more certifications are not necessary. One compares them to Boy Scout Merit Badges. However, in real life, Elite certified signers get 4x the business than those not certified by 123notary in similar positions in the search results!
https://www.facebook.com/123notary/posts/10151408367726466

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123notary’s Google+ Page
This is brand new, and it is yet another place to read our notary posts and shares. There is also a community where you can post your own content. Anyone with a Gmail account can participate in our community. Just join!
https://plus.google.com/115707701763602775915/posts

123notary’s Linked In Page
For discussions that are fun, visit our Facebook page. But, if you want practical down to business discussions, our Linked In members are top notch in this respect and will deliver riveting opinions!
https://www.linkedin.com/groups/123Notary-Notary-directory-information-discussions-4139192

My personal Twitter
I use it more for notary tweets than anything else, but there are all types of tweets there if you are interested.
https://twitter.com/jbelmontnotary

123notary listings on 123epayment.
Purchase listings here. But, you might ask Carmen first before you make a purchase just to be on the safe side.
https://www.123epayment.com/result.asp?cat=5

Our travel blog! Great foodie & travel information
http://blog.meander411.com/

123ecourses.com
This is where we have our certification courses and tests!
http://www.123ecourses.com/

123notary vs. Notary Rotary
The notaries disagree as to which site gets them more business. Read the nitty gritty!
http://www.123notary.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=23

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December 16, 2014

A forged document vs. a forged notary seal?

What if the document was forged.
Imagine that you are a notary public who just got in huge trouble for notarizing a forged document. It is not your responsibility to know that the document was forged. It is only your responsibility to know that the person who was documented as signing the document appeared before you, proved their identity, and signed the document before you notarized it.

Forged Identification
Or what if the ID used for the notarization was forged? You can still take journal thumbprints and that can get you off the legal hook a lot faster if you keep a record of those thumbprints. But, what about a forged notary seal?

E&O won’t help unless you made an error.
Some notaries think that since they have Errors & Omissions insurance that they will be covered. But, does E&O cover legal expenses? The real problem is that E&O will probably say that the notary didn’t make any errors — it was someone else who forged their seal. Therefore it is a criminal matter, and the notary in question is not at fault — providing you can prove that the notary seal indeed was forged.

If your notary seal was forged, how would you prove it?
My notary seal’s impression was copied onto an Acknowledgment form. The notary’s handwriting on the form didn’t match mine at all and they didn’t cross out the his/her/their or the (s) on the certificate either proving that they were not me, and most likely not a notary (at least not a good notary.) If the borders on the seal don’t match yours, that is another clue. If you don’t have a journal entry of the transaction, that might void the notarization entirely in certain states — not sure what the law says about that one. But, it could constitute proof that you didn’t do the notarization in question if there is no journal entry, assuming that you always keep a sequential journal entry of all notarial transactions.

What if you are sued?
Unfortunately, as a notary, if you are sued for fraud, or being involved with fraud, you could lose $20,000 in legal expenses only to be proven innocent. You lose, even if you win. E&O insurance won’t protect you if you are not at fault. So, if you are falsely accused because someone else did fraud including a seal forger, a corrupt Title Officer, or someone else, you can get in big trouble. It is best to try to reason with the plaintiff and prove to them through whatever evidence that you have that you are not one of the parties to be blamed. You can also tell them that you will counter sue for legal expenses and time lost if proven not guilty.

Identifying the fraud
One of the issues in catching a fraudulent impostor notary is that they are hard to catch. The only people who have seen them would be notary customers. Those customers would have found the person’s number online or in the yellow pages or through a referral. Notary clients very rarely check the ID of the notary, so the notary could be an impostor and get away with it for a while without being caught. But, why would an impostor notarize many people. Chances are that the impostor notary would be well acquainted with the individual who forged loan documents, or could be the same person which means that nobody would see him or catch him. If he forged the signature of the borrower as well, then it gets very complicated. Three forgeries in one! If they forge a notary seal, the forged seal might have the name of a real notary on it. In such a case, the real notary would be able to prove through his journal that he never notarized that forged document. Additionally, the forger would have to not only forge the signature of the borrower, but also of that particular notary which would require quite some skill. I always used an embosser that left a raised seal in the document. A fraud would have to be pretty clever to forge my seal and my embosser and use it like I did — and in the one case where my seal was forged, they didn’t have the brains to do it correctly and got caught (but, not necessarily prosecuted – or at least I was not informed of what happened after the fact.)

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You might also like:

Fraud & Forgery related to the Notary Profession
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2294

An absurd forgery of MY notarization
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19974

Facial recognition techniques can help you spot fake ID
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20242

Penalties for notary misconduct and fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21315

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December 11, 2014

Notarized Warranty Deed

Filed under: (4) Documents — Tags: , , — admin @ 3:22 am

Where to get a Notarized Warranty Deed
Where to get a Notarized Warrantee Deed

I have never been good at spelling, but I was a very prudent notary public in my day. Have your Attorney instruct you on how to draft your Warranty Deed. When the document is complete, call a mobile notary from 123notary to help you notarize this Warranty Deed or find a notary office somewhere in your area that you can visit during business hours. You will need the signer to have current government issued photo-ID.

If you are getting an Acknowledged signature, you can sign the document before you personally appear before the notary public.

Good luck getting your Warranty Deed notarized.

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They claim they never signed the deed
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19479

Quit claim deed
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18905

Good Deed Bad Deed
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16285

Index of information about notarized documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

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November 24, 2014

Is $75 enough to print 2 sets of docs, notarize & do faxbacks?

In this tough economy, many notaries have simply dropped out. The remaining notaries, as tough or as proud as they portrayed themselves to be have simply had to compromise their standards for what they charge. Many signing agents with ten or more years of experience told Carmen (in confidence) that they were forced to accept $60 signings just to stay afloat. So, we won’t mention any names, but you know who you are. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Americans complain about what Indians would regard as a luxury!
Notaries complain endlessly about how unfair it is that they only get $75 for so much work with such high expenses. My take on the situation is quite different because I travel. A policeman in India makes $50 per month (not including bribes.) Can you imagine living on $50 per month? How would you rent a place to live? You would be living on top of each other twenty to a room and eating dahl and rice in small quantities once or twice per day if you were lucky. Can you imagine this type of poverty that hard working Indians endure as a matter of standard procedure? And what about the folks in the countryside who work for 20 rupees per day which is about 40 cents. That is about $12 per month. When you get these $75 assignments, just say to yourself, “I made four months of a Bihari farmworker’s salary in two hours! Yippee!”

If you are doing worse than last year, do you get upset?
It is a human tendency to be sad when you are not getting what you want, or what you used to easily get. But, this human tendency needs to be changed. We live in a changing world where what was impossible yesterday might be easy tomorrow, and vice versa. You need to just do the best you can do and not base your life today on whether it is better or worse than last year. Notaries base their fees on 123notary on what they paid last year. If I charge $150 this year, but only $120 last year, they are upset that they are paying more this year than last year. What really matters is not what happened last year, but if your investment is getting you a sufficient return.

Let’s do the math
If you get $75 for a loan signing, how much work and expense is really involved. You might spend 20 minutes on the phone on average including follow up calls, scheduling and making sure the documents arrive through whatever medium is used. You might need to drive thirty to forty-five minutes both ways to the signing. You might go through 350 pages of paper, and some toner or ink printing the documents which is not for free unless you have a gift certificate to office-max.

Your real expenses might be $4 of car expenses including gas, oil changes, and other wear and tear.
If you can purchase paper for a bulk price you might use up $3 in paper, and $2 in ink or toner (just guessing)
You might use up two hours of your time including everything: 1 hour driving; 30 minutes signing; 20 minutes on the phone; 10 minutes doing fax backs. (best case scenario)
After expenses, you get $66 profit and you can deduct your miles at the Federal mileage rate as well!
If you spent two hours total, you got $33 per hour.

On the other hand, if you spent an hour each direction, had to wait four hours for documents, and the signers read every letter of every page and asked a million questions, plus spent an hour on the phone with Fred the lender, then you might have invested seven hours which would leave you with $9 per hour which is still above minimum wage in most states.

$20/hour is not bad for someone who can just walk in off the street.
I would say in all honesty, that the average signing agent probably makes about $20 per hour for their assignments. More seasoned signing agents who command higher rates like $125 or more per signing might make $45 per hour on average. Being a relatively inexperienced signing agent is not a high skilled job like being a nuclear physicist. You do not merit $50 or more per hour unless you are the best 1% of notaries in the business or are an Attorney. All you need to be a notary signing agent is to be a resident of a state (not even a citizen in many states,) fill out an application (most states don’t even have a notary exam,) get bonded, and take a quick class in loan signing; $20 per hour is not bad for someone who can just walk in off the street and start doing loan signings. For a notary with three years of experience, they should be making more like $25-$30 per hour. That is what I made when I was doing signings with that level of experience!

You might also like:

Pricing strategies for mobile notary work
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=697

Pricing formulas and time spent
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=588

Sample prices for various types of loan signings
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=84

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November 18, 2014

HUD-1 The Settlement Statement

Filed under: (4) Documents,Ken Edelstein — Tags: , — admin @ 9:04 pm

“We are waiting for approval of the HUD before we can send you the docs”. I’m sure you have heard that frequently. Arguably the single most informative document in the package. The HUD, along with the Note, Mortgage and TIL (you better know what the letters stand for) comprise the heart of the deal. Although the HUD is usually not notarized, you DO have to take a look at it.

Probably the most important things for you to check are lines 303 and 603 on the first page. But first take a look at items D and E on the top. D & E name the borrower and seller. Generally you will meet either the borrower or the seller; occasionally both. Now you know if you are meeting with the borrower or the seller, and a quick check of 303 and 603 will let you know if there is “Cash (x) From” due. You are expected to notice cash from and to pick up the payment.

Generally the check is made payable to the Settlement Agent. The agent is named in box H at the top of the form. The check(s) are usually made out to the name in box H. On page 2 in the 1100 series of entries there is often a notary fee listed. Sorry, but that is not the amount that you will receive; it’s the amount payable to the Signing Service. If it says $350 and you took the job for $75; you can be sure the Signing Service considers you a hero. As you recall they said they are only getting $125, you might have a slightly different opinion of them.

There is generally a separate signature page. Oddly, the signature page is often not numbered and really has no “tie” to the HUD itself. Take care here; often the signature page requires two signatures. It’s an easy mistake to just obtain the first required signature but not the second. It’s also easy to become a favorite with the settlement company. They need several copies of the HUD and often make them and stamp them with “Certified True Copy” – they are always delighted when the notary prints a few originals, five is a nice quantity; and has original signatures on each.

Sometimes you will receive the entire package minus the HUD; which you are told will follow as soon as it’s approved. Wanna take a chance? If so, go ahead and print the two copies of the docs that you currently have in your inbox. Don’t be too surprised if you are told to shred what you printed. Numbers on the can HUD relate directly to other numbers in the package. If at all possible wait for word that the HUD is “final” prior to printing the package.

As the HUD is the key “money expenses” page; it’s common for the borrower to receive email with “preliminary” numbers. Obsolete HUDs (that are not the “final”) look very similar to the “final” that you brought to the table. Take care that an earlier HUD, printed by the borrower is not mixed in with the documents that you printed. Borrowers will frequently want to compare the one they printed (left hand) to the one you brought (right hand). Be absolutely sure that you return the one sent to you and not the one sent to the borrower.

There is a silver lining to the gray cloud of HUDs. It’s a federal form and almost always the HUD is basically identical and it’s easy to find information. However, I have seen “HUD clones” that do not follow the standardized format. Take care to look closely to determine how these are signed (perhaps also initialed?). Rarely notarized, it’s an easy form to process. Return a few copies of what was sent to you, signed in all the right places.

You might also like:

What are some typical types of affidavits
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21334

Index of loan documents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=20258

TRID information courtesy of Carmen
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18932

The 30 point course – a free loan signing course
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14233

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November 10, 2014

Is having an NNA background check really necessary to get work?

Filed under: Marketing Articles — Tags: — admin @ 7:22 am

There is not enough work for signing agents these days. We have heard that in the last month or two it got a little better, but this is the worst the mortgage business has seen in seventeen years. To be a CSS, you need a yearly background check. But, it is expensive, and many feel that it is unclear if they really need this to get work.

What does the NNA background check query?
Social Security number trace
County criminal court records
Federal criminal records
Statewide criminal records
Nationwide criminal database
Motor vehicle records
National sex offender database
USA Patriot Act lists
Office of foreign assets lists

But, I’m already background checked through my state!
Although California background screens notaries when they apply for a notary commission, this is only done once every four years. Additionally, the standards for working in the finance industry are higher than those for becoming a notary, and the state background checks don’t check as many sources of information as the signing agent background check does.

Sharing Personal Information?
Another question is whether the NNA or other testing agencies will be sharing your background information with financial institutions or others and whether or not this is legal. I do not have detailed information on this matter. However, the background check is pass fail, and some notaries are claiming that the only information that will be shared is if you passed or failed, and not your personal information.

On NotaryRotary, one notary claimed on May 26th, that before a background check can be done — you have to agree that NNA or BGO may share a detailed report of your background screening with any institutions that issue a written request. So, it remains fuzzy as to how much of your personal information can be shared. Another notary claims that her social security number was not shared, but that her Driver License information was.

Do you really need it?
I read many Linked In discussions on this topic and learned that it is becoming increasingly necessary to be background checked to get work. The requirement is taking effect little by little instead of all at once. Another claims that it is the NNA background check that many companies are looking for and background checks by other agencies are not being accepted nearly as much. One notary claims that NNA background checks are a cost of doing business at the moment which cannot be circumvented. One long time notary claimed that he did just fine without the background check, but his point of view is in the minority at this time.

Summary
Although I personally feel that yearly certifications and annual background checks are overkill, it appears that many companies are requiring this, and that more will soon follow suit. To me, a very thorough background check once in four years is plenty. The chance that you will suddenly become a freelancer working for Al-Qaeda in the middle of your notary term is slim. And the chance that you will suddenly engage in Mortgage fraud is also slim. We have only heard of two notaries out of millions that have been convicted of any serious frauds involving jail time in the last decade.

You might also like:

Do you have to be a CSS to get work these days?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8914

Background Screening for notaries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2418

Can a notary perform a marriage?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1891

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November 4, 2014

The Affidavit of Occupancy

An affidavit of occupancy is a simple document (sometimes notarized), that offers the borrower generally three choices. The first option (generally by making initials) is to have the property as a Primary Residence. This option typically requires the borrower to occupy the property, usually within 60 days; for a minimum of one year. The second option is to acquire the property as a second home, while maintaining a primary residence elsewhere. The third major option is to declare the property as Investment Property, not to be occupied by the borrower; but to sell or rent for rental income. It is unlikely that the borrower cannot accurately choose the correct option.

Care should be taken by the borrower to initial the correct choice. The wrong choice can result in financial and even criminal penalties at a later date. If the borrower is buying to live in, there is really no issue. However, when the intent is speculation or rental; it’s accurate disclosure or risk problems. Lower Mortgage Rates are available for owner occupied. This is why the intent to rent or speculate must be disclosed.

Affidavits of occupancy are especially relevant for small-time or independent real estate investors. If a borrower were to select “investment property” then choose to move in permanently – there probably would be no problem. Of course they would be paying a higher mortgage rate, lenders are rarely annoyed by such activity. It is the reverse, claiming to move in; getting a lower mortgage rate, then renting it out that causes problems.

Since affidavits of occupancy are not heavily regulated or governed by formal, industry-wide guidelines, they’re often originated in-house by the mortgage lenders or other real estate professionals. Thus, unlike the standardized HUD, there really is no uniform structure to the Affidavit of Occupancy. Actually it might just as well be called an Occupancy Certification, or similar. The only aspect that seems to appear with regularity is the need for the borrower to specify how they intend to utilize the property. This is generally done by initialing a specific paragraph, but some variations may call for a complete signature.

This form is a redundancy to similar assurances that appear in the Mortgage, namely, how the borrower intends to utilize the property that secures the loan. The occupancy statement contains strong language, 30 years in prison, fine of a million dollars, etc., per Title 18 US code Sec. 1001, and others. They are a separate document that the borrower cannot ignore, often notarized; and help the lender to charge a higher rate for loans that have greater risk. Typically, rental or investment property has greater risk. The difference can be half a percent that will be several thousand dollars or more over the life of the agreement.

They serve as an extra layer of protection against mortgage fraud and provide lenders with a clear chain of evidence that can be used to expose and prosecute such fraud. Whereas a homeowner might be able to make a plausible if unconvincing argument that he or she misunderstood the intent of the “occupancy question” that’s often buried within the structure of a mortgage settlement document, he or she has little chance of avoiding penalties for breaking an affidavit of occupancy. The affiants who “break” these (often) sworn statements risk being charged with mortgage fraud. At the very least the lender can demand full payment of all money due.

In processing this document care should be taken to be sure that all borrowers initial/sign the section that specifies the intended use of the property. Some lenders might require a non-obligor to also sign/initial. It’s probably a safe bet to have any signatory to the document also initial/sign the selection section.

It is the real intent of this document to curb the activities of those who wish to obtain property at a low mortgage rate for speculation or to become “little” landlords. Sometimes it takes years for the housing authorities and the lender to discover the fraud. Those false statements can and do incur harsh civil and criminal penalties. In addition to the mortgage fraud; housing violations are common. The form is simple and easy to understand. There really is nothing for the notary to “explain”. A notarized false statement is exactly that; in addition to being a crime.

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You might also like:

The Signature Name Affidavit
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16298

Ken’s Guide to Deeds of all types
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16285

The Compliance Agreement
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15828

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October 31, 2014

Signing with a former Airline Captain

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:18 am

NOTARY: Hi, my name is Captain Ronnie, and I’ll be your notary signing agent today. I’m experienced in the airline industry and will make sure your loan lands safely.

BORROWER: I’m more concerned that my loan gets off the ground at this point. By the way, love the captain’s hat.

NOTARY: Well, don’t worry. We’ll begin boarding procedures momentarily. They’ll make an announcement. I’m sorry that I couldn’t have been earlier, but, I was standing for five minutes in the parking area waiting for a shuttle. Then it dawned on me that there are no shuttles servicing your driveway with direct service to the check in area. Silly me!

BORROWER: That’s okay. Which way is the gate? We’re in the hallway now, so should I go into the living room or the dining room?

NOTARY: I think the living room better be the gate, because the dining room will be the plane.

BORROWER: I think I better go out for a cigarette before the captain turns on the no smoking sign.

NOTARY: Good point. I didn’t think of that.

BORROWER: I was instructed to show my identification and boarding pass when boarding the dining room table, and that the names on both must match. Is that true?

NOTARY: Yes, let me see that? I’ll record that information in my journal. Okay, now please remove all metal objects from your pockets and let me scan you.

BORROWER: What about my pen that says Chase Financial?

NOTARY: You are allowed to use that pen, but I’m not allowed to bring a pen with the name of the bank. By the way, I can’t let you into the dining room until you explain what that huge chunk of metal is in your head.

BORROWER: Oh, I had an accident as a kid, and the rest is history.

NOTARY: Got it!

(5 minutes later)

BORROWER: I’m back and all nicotined up — ready for take off. I hope I don’t get jet lag after this signing.

NOTARY: I wouldn’t worry too much about that unless you’re going to a different time zone. But anyway, first let’s get our luggage in the overhead compartment.

BORROWER: This is my dining room. There are no overhead compartments and I have no luggage.

NOTARY: That makes it all the easier.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has turned on the seat belt sign. Please return to your seat and put on your seat belt.

NOTARY: The emergency exits are (making hand gestures) to the rear of the plane and also to the front. In the event of an emergency, calmly walk to whichever exit is nearest to you. If those exits are blocked, please move immediately to the closest window and jump out. Please bring one of the safety cushions below your seat to break your fall.

BORROWER: There are no safety cushions!

NOTARY: Feel under your chair.

BORROWER: Oh my god! There really are safety cushions. You might as well put a barf bag in the folder to my right, just to be true to your profession!

NOTARY: I brought my own safety devices. See this? It is a self-inflating notary seal. Great for crash landings as well as no-signs! Ooops…

(the self inflating seal popped and inflated itself as fast as an airbag.

BORROWER: Wow, that’s huge. I haven’t seen anything inflate so fast since I visited my neighbor’s teenage son’s bedroom and he showed me his… never mind.

NOTARY: I brought you one too. Yours is an oversized rubber ducky. You can ride if we have an emergency water landing. The experts say we are due for a tsunami sometime in the next few years, so it never hurts to be prepared. But, let’s not accidentally inflate yours too. They are so hard to fold back up.

BORROWER: Gee — thanks. Not exactly what I was expecting, but it is the thought that counts.

NOTARY: Now, we’re ready for take off.

BORROWER: Are you like that comedian who did a take off on take offs?

NOTARY: That was funny. I never thought of that.

BORROWER: This is hillarious… ha ha ha ha ha

ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has turned off the no laughing sign. You are free to laugh around the cabin.

BORROWER: You are too much.

NOTARY: You think I am too much, wait until you see your APR. It is up in the stratosphere.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has announced that we have successfully taken off. Please grab your pens and commence by looking over the Deed of Trust.

BORROWER: I think I need to use the bathroom. I hope there isn’t a line!

NOTARY: If there is, just use the bathroom towards the cockpit. It’s usually empty.

BORROWER: Okay, I’m looking at the Deed. It has my address correct, the lender information is correct, and the loan amount is correct. I feel like I am on stable ground.

NOTARY: Well, we’re in the air now, but glad you feel stable. I need you to initial each page on the small line in the corner, and sign at the end.

BORROWER: If I don’t like my rate, I’m going to make a paper airplane out of my Note, what do you say?

NOTARY: I think that is a bad idea, as Notes are not up to FAA standards.

BORROWER: I never thought of that.

NOTARY: Now, you’re beginning to sound like me. Now, let’s look at the Truth in Lending

ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has announced that there will be turbulent weather ahead. Please firmly attach your seat belt and finish your drinks.

BORROWER: No offence, but how come you didn’t offer me a choice of root beer or Pepsi and those airplane peanuts.

NOTARY: Oh I do, I usually wait until we have been in flight for about twenty-five minutes.

BORROWER: Okay, the TIL is not that bad. Why is my APR higher than my rate?

NOTARY: That is because of FAA regulations which require APR’s to fly at a higher altitude unless it is a loan that doesn’t include fees.

BORROWER: I never heard it explained that way, but I must say that I like your explanation.

ANNOUNCEMENT: We will be serving drinks and refreshments in a moment. Please adjust your seat to an upright position.

BORROWER: Okay, now it is time for peanuts, right?

NOTARY: We offer a snack pack for five dollars. Due to tight profit margins in the airline industry, we can no longer afford to give free peanuts.

BORROWER: No free peanuts? What kind of a Notarial airline is this?

NOTARY: Just kidding! Here are some peanuts, and pretzels. I brought some lemons and sugar too for fresh lemonade!

BORROWER: You are the best.

NOTARY: And don’t forget not to spill your drink on the loan documents! Keep it on a separate tray or chair as a safety precaution.

BORROWER: I would if the guy in front of me would put his seat in its upright position. BTW, Is that FAA mandated?

ANNOUNCEMENT: We will be landing in twenty minutes. Please finish your loan signing by the appointed time as the captain has another appointment immediately after landing.

BORROWER: Well, I don’t like to be rushed, but I do have a three day right to cancel if I find any issues with the loan after we are done.

NOTARY: Correct, and your borrower copies are in the overhead cabinet or under your seat.

BORROWER: Got it. Above the safety flotation device. Okay, the other documents seem pretty straight forward.

(10 minutes later)

BORROWER: Okay… I’m done signing.

NOTARY: Just sign my journal here, here and here. I’ll put the journal on your tray once you get the remains of your peanuts off.

BORROWER: Okay, here we go. (bump) Ooops. There was some sudden turbulence, and my signature went off the page.

NOTARY: That’s okay. It’s my journal. Just sign again above it. The county clerk only looks at your recorded documents, not at my journal.

BORROWER: Got it. Okay, done…

NOTARY: I need a thumbprint for the recorded documents as well.

BORROWER: I’m all thumbs. Here we go.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The captain has announced that we will be landing in one minute. Please return your seats to their upright position and keep your seat belts on. Please refrain from visiting the bathroom at this time. In the event of a crash landing, please lean forward.

BORROWER: Okay, thanks for the signing. Can I go home now?

NOTARY: You are home. We’ve landed at First American International Airport, and I have to go to my next gig. Enjoy the rest of your lemonade!

BORROWER: Thanks!

.

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