I remember back in 2005 I went to Bombay to visit a friend. I took the train downtown to cash a few travelers cheques. I have never had an experience this bad and have brought a lot more cash with me ever since. You have to sign a traveler cheque when you buy it and then sign again when you cash it in. My signature was a little different than my normal signature, but not different by much. But, the clerk had had a lot of trouble cashing in traveler’s cheques and he was paranoid. He did not like the differential between my signatures. So, I had to forge my own signature so to speak. I had to practice signing the way I had signed when I originally signed the cheque a few times on a blank piece of paper. What a ridiculous ordeal. My passport wasn’t good enough for him yet it was good enough for airport security. Good God, or should I say Good Krishna?

In any case, I signed the way he liked and got my money.I spent my rupees on apple pie that had been in the same oven as melting cheese and it tasted horrible. I have so many India nightmares I never want to go back again but perhaps I will to see the mountains and meditate there with the Gods near Dehradun. My guru says I need to go where I can see snow in the mountains and meditate there for three days. One day I’ll do it, but not this year, because China is on my mind. Sounds like a Ray Charles song.

(From 2019 – about how I got sick and was bedridden)

For those of you who don’t know, I got very sick in March of 2019 to the point where I could not stand up for long without extreme fatigue. It was a stomach flu that initiated with two bouts of severe vomiting 45 minutes from each other subsequent to some tikka masala which I might add that I complained about because it was “not spicy enough.” Maybe I should thank those losers for never spicing their food up to Indian standards instead of complaining because my intestines were having a 5 alarm fire for hours and no amount of Advil would help. (Disclaimer — Advil is a wonderful product that I use regularly and I wish not to dis-quantify or invalidate its effectiveness in any, way shape or form other than perhaps the gel-capsule form.)

I foolishly was concerned that the next day I might not be able to get much done because I would be too tired. I did not realize it would be five days of being an invalid only able to toss and turn in bed and having only four hours per day to be doing work, going to appointments, taking my walk, or doing anything of value.

In any case, I thought that I needed electrolytes since I had vomited so I got coconut water. My doctor said Gatorade is better than fruit juice since it has less sugar. The internet articles by big medical establishments agreed with my doctor (but didn’t nod their head in an assuring way because they were articles and not people.) The truth is that coconut water is lower in sugar than Gatorade, yet seemed to irritate my intestines.

Traditional Indian wisdom is that if you have had too much to drink, are dehydrated or have vomited, then have coconut water. I normally follow this line of thought as coconut water has a generous supply of five of the minerals that you need. Modern knowledge says Gatorade, and Gatorade did the trick and was easier on my intestines. Also, I stopped feeling dehydrated after consuming Gatorade regularly when coconut water (similar amount of sodium & potassium) did not make me stop being dehydrated — beverage for thought.

Traditional Jewish knowledge points to the fact that chicken soup is the cure for the common cold and a long list of other ailments. However, I tried different brands of chicken soup and found that Progresso had magical effects on making me feel good while the other cheaper brand actually made me feel worse. And by the way, Wolfgang Puck’s chicken soup with rice and wild rice was good too, but I still prefer Progresso. So, on night six I went from being bedridden to being able to sit up and work at least a few hours at night for the first time in days.

The irony of the Jewish knowledge is that according to traditional Chinese knowledge chicken and rice are both good for the lung meridian, and when you are sick, your lung meridian normally needs a bit of stimulation. The Jews figured out what to do, but the Chinese figured out the “why” part. Jews are always asking, “why”, but Chinese doctors are always the ones who give the “because.”

So, now is day seven. I am still napping, but am working as industriously as on a regular day… well almost.

I’m not sure if Jewish mothers in law in the 1800’s knew about Progresso, but if I could go back in a time machine with Google translate and use the Yiddish application, I would transmit this very important piece of knowledge. And while we’re on that topic. How long before there is such a thing as Google Time Travel. I think they’re working on it but I never got the memo., at least not when I was supposed to…

So, now is day nine and I feel 95% better. I am fully functional, walking, eating normal food again, and feeling relieved. Because, with that illness I thought I’d never recover and I had no idea how long it would take to recover. I am just so thankful that my body recuperated with the help of sleep, vitamin C, acupuncture, garlic, Gatorade, and of course — chicken soup!

I went to Texas in November on a relocation trip. I wanted to get a sense of the various cities so I could figure out if I wanted to relocate. Needless to say, driving from Los Angeles to Texas was a lot of driving. I was anxious to get out of town. So, I got my work done as fast as possible. The minute I was done, I bolted. The first day I drove 700 miles from Los Angeles to Deming. Then from Deming to Hobbs so I could see more of Southeastern New Mexico and then the next day I got to Dallas.

My dream was to have dim sum (Chinese dumplings brought around on little carts) and sit next to a Texas millionaire who was about 65 and wearing an oversized coyboy hat who would tell me all about how he made his first million while ordering in fluent Chinese with a thick Texan drawl. No such luck. My meal in Dallas was spent sitting next to some snobby guys in their mid 30’s who looked like they were more than just friends. The entire restaurant was snobby and unfriendly. It took a few days to figure out that every Texan I met hated Dallas and thought it was snobby. But, Dallas is where the sophistication is. Can’t we have sophistication without the attitude problem? I’m not moving to this place. So, I checked out some other towns and had excellent Chinese food in Richardson and Grand Prairie.

I drove down to Houston which had a very odd Gulf of Mexico vibe even when you were 50 miles or more from the water. Other people felt it too. The road rage in Houston was bad, and I got out of there, but only after a few hours bumming around Chinatown and having some good dumplings. The next day was the Alamo. I had been there before (and didn’t forget) and loved it the second time around. I had Texas style gumbo on the riverwalk, and a great Thai massage uptown too. San Antonio is the nicest city I have seen anywhere. But, I didn’t meet my Texas millionaire there. Next was up to Austin, and I had a nice conversation with a construction worker at a taco place. He said the city did nothing but grow out of control for more than ten years and he had no time off. After that it was back to Fort Worth for a German pancake, some Cajun food and more looking around town. But, no Texas Millionaire. The next day I left Texas and it was up to Oklahoma.

The minute I crossed the border into Oklahoma I stopped for gas. There was a long line. I started chatting with a very unassuming guy who was about 65 dressed in jeans and a baseball hat plus a vest. He told me he had a house in Dallas and another in Palm Springs. He had a solid business, and worked until late in life, saved up and lived the lifestyle that he wanted. Finally — I had met my Texas millionaire! He was nice too. After that I saw a little of OKC, and then to Tulsa. I had no idea that Oklahoma was such a spiritual state. I meditated and the vibration for meditation was better there than anywhere else I have ever seen. Hiking next to a lake was spectacular too as Oklahoma is picturesque and beautiful. I had previously thought it was Texas under another name, but it is really different and so much more asthetically pleasing than Texas which is ugly in most parts (although the Eastern extreme of Texas has pretty trees).

After that I spent some time in New Mexico. I stayed in Santa Fe for a few days and then down to Roswell, Ruidoso, and Deming. I had great Mexican and Vietnamese food in Roswell and a great hike in Ruidoso. Roswell is famous for UFO landings. So I made my UFO joke.

ME: Are you going to abduct me?
GREEN GUY: No, but can you like us on Facebook?

It was hard to find healthy food in most of New Mexico. The state revolves around meat. Vegetables are just not a big thing there and that is bad. It is hard to stay healthy and not get fat, diabetes, or heart disease if you eat meat and tortillas all day long. In any case, I spent a few days in Phoenix after that where I know where to get amazing salads, and then came home feeling exhausted. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so drained. Carmen thought I was tired. But, I think that staying around oil rigs on the road was toxic. The Texas panhandle, Western Oklahoma and SE New Mexico are all being drilled up and it stinks of gas there. America is being destroyed by oil companies and the government allows this. Solar is so much of a better idea. When will we all wake up?

In any case, my trip was fruitful (but not vegetable-full) in that I learned which cities I like and which I did not. All in all, I think that moving out of Los Angeles is a bad idea as we have so much more here than any other city I have ever been to. And, I met my Texas millionaire – not where I wanted to meet him, and he wasn’t fluent in Chinese with a Texan drawl, but he was still nice.

My best memory of the trip was at Eatzy’s in Dallas in the sandwich section. I told the clerk how I complimented some people on their dumplings. I said:

“Ni-men de guo tie fei chang hao.” Then I said, “How is my accent?” He said, “You need to say y’all more.” I don’t think people use the word y’all when they speak Chinese. But, since I learned in the South of China, maybe it will catch on.

How bizarre. I got an email from a Notary on our database who lives in the Los Angeles area. She claims that she came across a document that I notarized back in 2001. It was a Deed of Trust for 4811 South Alamada (Alameda?) Partnership. That was a long time ago. I don’t remember the signer who’s name was Hannah Kelly. I filled up about 50 Notary journals during my career mostly with loan signings.

The signings I do remember were for a guy in jail who blew up his apartment experimenting with explosives. I also Notarized his jurors as a matter of coincidence. I remember doing 40 sets of fingerprints in Pico Rivera for a room of people mostly from Puebla Mexico. I remember an Attorney in Arcadia who had really long Health Directives for middle aged Chinese families who were thinking ahead. I remember a signing in South Central at a hospital where they made me wait forever while they slowly filled out their power of attorney forms and then the lady asked, “Do you like your job?” I told her that she was supposed to have her documents ready BEFORE she called me. I really enjoy scolding people who disrespect other people’s time.

I remember driving to Hemet, Victorville, and Santa Clarita for a Settlement Agent named Emily who gave me steady work. I remember a Real Estate agent who had endless Grant Deeds to sign. That’s about it from my eight year career. Most of my signers were boring as hell, but I had a handful of memorable ones. Jail signings were the most interesting.

Also read: What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

It is important for Notaries to be happy, healthy, and have a sense of identity. So I suggest, The Notary Diet. My idea for a Notary diet is to be having power foods all day long so you can endure long hours of driving and sluggish signers.

Breakfast

Oatmeal
Put walnuts, sliced almonds, ground cocoa nibs (for antioxidants), and various types of berries (good for cleaning arteries) in your oatmeal along with a little brown sugar for taste. . This combination will give you minerals, brain food, and clean out your arteries too. Wine cleans arteries, but berries are a better way to do that in the morning especially if you have to drive.

Cranberries and pumpkin seeds are good for the prostate, so you can have a “he breakfast” with these natural ingredients added to your oatmeal or on the side. Then have a banana for your colon.

Green tea & Coffee are both good for you and have phytonutrients. But, green tea is better for phyting cancer! Just don’t drink too much as it is high in stimulants and may trigger palpitations and a phyte or phlyte reaction. I think they should call the nutrients PhytoOrPhlytoNutrients to be honest.

Lunch

Start with a apple for your liver and colon, then mango for your lungs. You can read about the attributes of these amazing and delicious foods online. Have less processed foods and stick to these proven winners so you stay healthy and avoid cancer and strokes.

Avocados are a natural super food. Lentils and rice are a great way to have energy to last the day. You need that during signings. Seeds and lentils have six times as much nutrition as regular beans or nuts believe it or not.

A sandwich with some meat and veggies is good too for protein, vitamins, minerals and fiber in each bite.

Dinner

Eggs have amazing nutrition. They have everything a chick needs to endure weeks in captivity. In fact, eggs have a lot of the nutrition that is almost impossible to get in other foods such as E, Q10, B12, and K2. You need all of these, but how do you get them, especially if you are a chicken fetus? Then have soups with celery, cabbage, kale, barley, potatoes, herbs and spices. This will be very good for your colon. If you want protein, salmon is a very healthy source of it.

Remember that spices can be very good for your circulation, liver and general health as they have a lot of phytonutrients which are critical to combating cancer and staying healthy.

Lentils are a superfood. Lentils have six times the nutrition as beans ounce per ounce and the same general type of nutrition.
Seeds have six times the nutrition as nuts and similar types of nutrients as in nuts.

I hope you like my ideas for staying healthy. You can look up super foods on Google and learn the ropes for staying healthy. I have super foods daily and they are really good for you. Exercising and having a healthy lifestyle is important too.

Exercise
Most Americans do not walk around enough. Dr. Mercola is a natural doctor and recommends walking nine miles a day in addition to going to the gym. He and other doctors inspired me to do more walking. I have been doing two walks a day, each for almost an hour and the weight is coming off. Walking and swimming are the best type of exercises for human beings. They are safe, pleasant and matching how God created us — just as long as you don’t get run over by a crazy six year old on a bike who is riding on the side walk. Yes, it happened to me and I gave the father a dirty look.

Supplements

The supplements I recommend are:

Grape Seed Extract — good for general circulation, eyes, toes, anti-cancer, brain health, scavenger anti-oxidant, and more.

Q10 — This occurs naturally in eggs and liver, but you can get effective Q10 in a supplement too. Great for rebuilding the tissue in your heart and arteries. I take this regularly.

Lutein and Zeaxanthin – Most people experience eye degeneration. Me too. But, by exercising and having greens and these supplements, believe it or not, my left eye is getting a lot better.

Psyllium Husks — This is a fiber supplement that will clean up your colon, give you healthy looking bowel movements and protect you from colon cancer.

Salmon Oil — This is a great way to clean up your blood from triglycerides the natural way along with diet and exercise. Or have a few ounces of salmon a few times a week. Make sure the salmon lived in a clean environment so you don’t get too many toxins.

Hawthorne Root — Great for general circulation

Milk Thistle & Dandilion — Amazing for rebuilding your liver’s cells. If you eat an American diet you need this.

B12 — If you are low in energy, there might be various causes. B12 complex can fill in one of the blanks.

Eggs — I treat eggs like vitamin pills. It has all the nutrients that are hard to find in regular foods.

Almonds – High in vitamin E.

Olive Oil — Also high in vitamin E and healthy in other ways.

Aloe — Good for moisturizing your colon.

Mulberry Juice – Great for cleaning up your arteries. In my experience it is more effective than any other berry and perhaps even better than wine.

Pumpkin Seeds — Good for the prostate.

Cranberry Juice — Also good for the prostate.