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January 17, 2011

Taxi: Reverend Jim Becomes a Notary

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 8:08 am

TAXI – REVEREND JIM BECOMES A NOTARY

ALEX: Louie, what happened to the fifty bucks I had in my locker?

LOUIE: What are you asking me for? Do you think a busy man like me has the time to nose around your locker? Whereas… that nose of yours has all the time in the world.

ALEX: Is that another nose crack, Louie?

LOUIE: If the honker fits, wear it.

NARDO: Somebody stole money from my purse!

ALEX: Somebody would imply it was a human being. And that would be wrong. Because it was Louie.

LOUIE: Hey! I’m starting to feel insulted here.

NARDO: Louie, if you don’t give me back my money, I’ll report you to the commissioner!

LOUIE: (into intercom) Listen up, you losers. I did not steal your chump change or whatever you want to call it. I’ve got better things to do than loot a bunch of lowlifes. I swear to God.

TONY: What about swearing to a notary, Louie?

LOUIE: A notary? I swear to notaries all the time. Like “Get away from me, you @*!# notary.”

REVEREND JIM: Did somebody say they need a notary?

TONY: Yeah, we want Louie to make a statement under penalty of perjury… Did you hear that, Louie? … That he didn’t steal Alex’s or Elaine’s money.

ALEX: That’s called an affirmation, Tony.

REVEREND JIM: Lucky for you and me. I just applied to become a notary.

ALEX: You, Jim?

REVEREND JIM: Yeah. I got to thinkin’…

LOUIE: There’s trouble.

REVEREND JIM: Boss, you know how you boss people around all the time? That makes you the “bosser”. But now that I’m a notary and have my notary seals, you’ll be able to call me… “embosser.”

TONY: That’s why you became a notary, Jim?

REVEREND JIM: That, and they get all the chicks.

ALEX: Well if Jim’s a notary, I think he should make Louie swear under oath that he’s not lying about stealing our money.

LATKA: In my country, notaries are the most revered office holders in the land. They work with estates, deeds, powers-of-attorney. They protest notes and bills of exchange.

ALEX: They do all that in this country.

LATKA: They also have notary groupies.

REVEREND JIM: Damn. I should move to Latka’s country.

LOUIE: Go! And take Potato Latka here with you.

ELAINE: Make him swear he didn’t take the money!

REVEREND JIM: Boss… This affidavit contains a jurat notarial certificate. I want you to sign on the dotted line that you didn’t take any money from Elaine or Alex.

LOUIE: I ain’t signing that.

ALEX: Because you’re guilty!

LOUIE: Isn’t my word good enough for you people?

EVERYONE: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

LOUIE: How ‘bout two words… @*!# @*!# You’re coercing me into signing that thing. That makes it null and void!

REVEREND JIM: Not if I add a free act and deed that indicates you weren’t coerced.

TONY: Wow, Jim. You really know your stuff!

REVEREND JIM: I do? Wow, and to think it was just a guess.

.

You might also like:

Compilation of Notary Sit-Com Episodes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

Cheers: Frazier & Dianne get a notarized love letter
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=cheers

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Two and a half notaries! A Notarization Experience

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular Overall,Sit-Coms — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 4:44 am

This is a story about a happy notary in Malibu named Charlie. He lived with his brother Sam and his brother’s son Kevin.

Charlie: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Kevin: A Notary of course — ANYTHING BUT!
Charlie: Don’t knock until you try it
Kevin: All you guys do is stamp your dumb stamp on dumb documents.
Charlie: True, but it has its perks. That’s how I met Monica!
Kevin: Good point! Charlie notarizes Monica — Ooooh!

Sam: Hey, wait a second, I was dating Monica. I REFERRED her to you!
Charlie: Correct — you WERE dating Monica. And by the time we finished the Oath verbiage, she had forgotten all about you, so help you God!
Sam: Hey, that’s not fair, I’m never referring another of my friends to you ever again.
Charlie: Relax, it was all over within days. I gave her a 3-day right to rescind our relationship, and then I didn’t call her back.
Sam: That is JUST like you.

Kevin: Hey, what’s the difference between a Notarization, and a Notarization experience?
Charlie: Oh, about $1500

Maid: Keep your ink off the counters. By the way, I’m taking three days off this week. Tell Monica I said hi.
Sam: What? I thought you said it was over?
Charlie: I never said it wasn’t. For me it’s over. For her I don’t know. By the way, who is that person who keeps calling and then keeps hanging up?
Maid: I had the number traced. It seems to be coming from Topanga. Isn’t that where Monica was from?
Charlie: Oh brother.

(ring ring)
Maid: Hey Charlie, it’s for you. It’s a customer. Natalia. She sounds nice, you better take it.
Charlie: Hey Natalia. Are you up for another notarization with Vodka?
Natalia: Am I ever. Bring your notary stamp and your notary bond with you darling.
Charlie: I’ll be right over. Oh, but this time, let’s have the vodka AFTER the signing.
Natalia: Anything you like, just as long as — you — are there!
Charlie: I figure if we can remember to do the signing first, then after we have the vodka it won’t matter what we remember, because we won’t remember!
Natalia: 8 — sharp. don’t be late!

Tweets:
(1) 2 & a half notaries: What’s the difference between a notarization and a notarization experience?
(2) 2 & a half notaries: Find out what happens when Charlie notarizes Natalia and then have vodka afterwards!

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January 15, 2011

Roseanne calls the NNA when she thought she was calling the NRA.

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:10 am

Speaking of rebooting a show that doesn’t deserve to be rebooted. Here’s what happens when a Trump supporter becomes a Notary Public.

Roseanne was using Google to look up the NRA, but due to a typing error, found the NNA instead, and then started reading.

ROSEANNE: Hmm, this NNA organization sounds really helpful. They teach you everything you need to know to be a Notary, plus they sell ammunition… um, I mean supplies like Acknowledgment pads. I wonder if you can shoot an Acknowledgment.

DAN: Hey, shoot me over an Acknowledgment!

ROSEANNE: Oh, so you can shoot an Acknowledgment. Cool. I’m gonna call the NNA. (ring ring) Hey NNA, what would you carry if you were on a Notary trip?

NNA: Oh, well, we have an NNA carry-all bag.

ROSEANNE: I like these people already (yelling) Hey Dan, these folks have a carry-all bag! Hey NNA, can you fit a dead moose in one of your bags?

NNA: Um, I’m afraid that these bags are more for Notary supplies and can fit a journal, and a few pads of paper, seals, etc.

ROSEANNE: Well can you teach me how to operate one of them seals, take it apart, and clean it real nice… and reload it?

NNA: We can sell you some replacement ink. You just press the seal down to operate it.

ROSEANNE: Ahh (nasal), do I need any ear protection headset when I shoot your seal gun off?

NNA: I think you’re confusing us with the NRA.

ROSEANNE: I just want you people to know that I support second amendment — the right to bear Notarial arms.

DAN: Honey, you have the right to bear arms, but till you lose a little weight I’d wear long sleeves if I were you.

ROSEANNE: Stay out of it. If that ain’t the kettle calling the pot black. And then speaking of pot, can you operate a loaded notary seal under the influence of Marijuana?

NNA: Um, I believe that is a state specific question that is not covered by Notary law. Please consult an Attorney.

ROSEANNE: Do you know any Attorneys who smoke pot, or Attorney Notaries? Well, they’d have to smoke tons of pot if they would want to be Notaries, right?

NNA: The Notary profession is a very respected profession that has been around for hundreds of years. Please do not defile our profession. We gain tremendous pride from reading about our Notaries of the year as they contribute tremendous integrity to our profession.

ROSEANNE: Well, whaddo I gotta do to be Notary of the year?

DAN: Wait for a really crappy year when everybody else really sucks.

NNA: Well, let’s first start with getting a Notary commission and learning our Notary Basics, shall we?

ROSEANNE: Is there a way I can become Notary of the year on false pretenses? I’m a good liar. I lie about my age and my sex life. Hey Dan, I’m 30 right?

DAN: Yeah, and you’re really hot too, and I’m not just talking about your flashes.

ROSEANNE: See how good I am at telling the truth about myself in a deceitful way?

NNA: You see maam, the Notary profession is based on integrity. The role of the Notary is to keep accurate records, deter fraud, and be completely honest in all transactions.

ROSEANNE: You missed your calling in life, you should have been a church lady, isn’t that special? Or a mime, that way I wouldn’t have to hear you.

NNA: Well just let us know when you are commissioned, and we’ll take it from there. Just make sure you get this all done before the end of Notary season. (hangs up.)

NNA PERSON #2: There’s no such thing as Notary season.

NNA: You have to make hunting references when you’re talking to this lady otherwise she can’t relate to anything you’re saying.

NNA PERSON #2: Okay, time for lunch. Are you up for anything gamey?

NNA: In Chatsworth, CA? Good luck!

.

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Letter to the NNA about Notary Testing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19401

Need an NNA Alternative?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19234

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January 14, 2011

NotaryMatch.com — a dating site for notaries!

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 11:46 pm

Have you ever noticed that the happiest notaries are the ones who are part of a tag team combo? They wife or husband is often a notary too. They tend to be happier and more successful too. The question is, did they become notaries after marriage, or was it a pre-existing condition? Maybe their wife was a vampire Notary, and after they were bitten, they became a notary too. I’m not sure if it works that way. I’ll have to ask the secretary of state’s office.

Either you find someone compatible and make them a notary, or you could find someone to marry who is already a notary. I’m not sure which way is better, so try both! To find a single notary, just go to notarymatch.com or notarymingle.com. Find thousands of single notaries who are looking for that special someone!

One notary used this site, but had mixed results. They met someone to go out with, but they didn’t go out on a “date.” They had a “date and time” and had to record that in some sort of journal.

The girl recorded:
Date & Time: April 17th, 2012 6:23pm.
Type of Act: Eating (Casual dinner)
Document: Not Applicable
Document date: N/A
Name: John Doe — as reads on driver’s license
Address: 1777 Laurel Street. Brick, NJ 08888
Type of ID: Passed online screening. Not a murderer or sex offender. Driver’s license
Additional Notes: Will record after the “Date & Time”
Signature: Refuses to sign on the first date (men!!!)
Fee: “Barter” — He will pay for dinner
Thumbprint — hoping for more than a thumbprint if he’s cute

So, they had a fun date & time. But, after the date & time the girl asked the guy:
Girl: “Can you sign my journal?”
Guy: “Sorry, I don’t usually sign notary journals on the first date!”
Girl: “Oh…. you’re exactly the type of guy I want to marry!”
Guy: “Let’s just see if we make it through the second date, and then we can start thinking about marriage. One step at a time please!”

All I can say is, thank god it wasn’t a “backdate.”

Tweets:
(1) Find a notary to date on notarymatch.com AND notarymingle.com! Find his/her/your(s) special someone
(2) “Sorry, I don’t normally sign a girls journal on the first date!”

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Seinfeld — George Needs a Notary

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 10:11 am

George is visiting his folks.

ESTELLE: Georgie, your father and I have a surprise for you.

GEORGE: Oh God.

FRANK: Your mother and I are gonna renew our vows.

GEORGE: Renew your vows? The vows you recited at your wedding? I’ve got news for you. Whatever they were, they didn’t take.

ESTELLE: Don’t get smart with us, Georgie! Your father and I want to renew the love we have for each other! And you’re giving me away.

George reacts.

Then at the coffee shop with Jerry:

JERRY: Giving her away? You should be thrilled. Just as long as you don’t have to take her back.

GEORGE: They’re throwing a ceremony. The whole kit and caboodle.

JERRY: Notice it’s never half a kit and caboodle?

GEORGE: (annoyed) Yeah. I’ve noticed. Oh and get this – Kramer’s my father’s Best Man.

JERRY: He’s never been the best anything.

GEORGE: My folks are renewing their vows. And Ellen, who is again dumping me, keeps renewing her vow never to see me again.

Kramer enters and joins them.

GEORGE: How come you’re the Best Man?

KRAMER: I think that goes without saying.

GEORGE: This whole thing’s a joke. They’ve been at each other’s throats for forty years. How can renewing their vows change anything?

KRAMER: I’ll tell you what you should do. Bring a notary to the ceremony and have him certify the vows. That way, they’ll have to abide by them or they can be locked up for perjury.

GEORGE: (a beat) Kramer, that’s a brilliant idea.

JERRY: Careful. You could be locked up for perjury.

GEORGE: No, don’t you see? Either they’ll have to love and obey each other, and stop their incessant yelling, or they’ll be thrown in jail. Either way – I win!

Later at the renewal ceremony…

KRAMER: (to Estelle) Just look at you. You’re the picture of relative youth!

ESTELLE: Relative?

KRAMER: No, I’m just the best man, but I feel like family.

GEORGE: Where’s the notary? This has disaster written all over it, I just know it.

JERRY: Relax. You’re not losing a mother, you’re losing your mind.

NOTARY: Sorry I’m late. Half-way here, I remembered I forgot my seal.

GEORGE: You remembered you forgot your seal?

JERRY: He remembered. And he forgot. He’s Even-Steven.

NOTARY: (to Frank) Before you recite your vows, I’ll need you to sign them.

FRANK: What are you talking about? Who the hell are you?

NOTARY: Your vows. I’m the notary.

Justice of the Peace hands vows to notary.

FRANK: I didn’t order any notary.

GEORGE: I did. It’s my little gift to you. To make sure that this time… they’re official.

FRANK: What are you talking about?

GEORGE: Your vows! The love you two express for each other has to be given… the gravitas and respect it deserves. If you abide by your vows… everything will be hunky-dory.

FRANK: And what if I don’t?

GEORGE: … I’m sure they’ll let you two have conjugal visits.

FRANK: Here, give me the damn paper.

Frank signs it.

GEORGE: (to Jerry) Now I know how Carter felt when he pulled off that peace treaty.

ELAINE: Can we get this show on the road? I need to get back to de-linting sweaters for Mr. Pitt.

JERRY: He’s got you de-linting sweaters now?

ELAINE: Hey, it’s a step up from un-salting his pretzels.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: We’re gathered here today to witness the re-joining of Frank and Estelle Costanza. May I have the vows please?

Notary hands him the freshly sealed and document to refer to.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: (reading) “I, Frank Costanza, take again as my wife, Estelle Costanza…”

KRAMER: (teary-eyed) This part always gets me.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: “ … as a continual thorn in my backside…”

GEORGE: Continual thorn? Stop! Let me see that. (Grabs vows, starts reading) “…to aggravate me for the rest of my life. I, Estelle Costanza, take again as my husband, Frank Costanza, the cheapest man who doesn’t clip his ear hair I’ve ever known…” Are you nuts? You can’t recite these vows!

FRANK: Why not? They come from our hearts.

ESTELLE: Your father’s right. For a change.

NOTARY: Their new vows are on an affidavit on which they’ve already affirmed under penalty of perjury that the information is the truth. Your father signed it in my presence. Notice my seal.

GEORGE: I see your seal! Well that’s just great. Now they’re legally obligated to drive each other bonkers, along with me!

JERRY: (to notary) Question: The next time my friend here gets a Dear John letter, if your seal isn’t on it, does that mean he didn’t officially get dumped?

NOTARY: No, he’d still be dumped.

JERRY: (to George) Hey, I tried.

.

You might also like:

Seinfeld: George’s parents get a vow renewal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15132

The Seinfeld episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

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January 13, 2011

Sam’s Notary BBQ

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:52 pm

A former Notary decided to open a barbecue joint. He was proud of the fact that BBQ is one of the few foods in the world that are indiginous to America. In fact, BBQ was invented by the Taino tribe of Puerto Rico and Haiti whose decendents are the modern day Puerto Ricans! To make it even more American, he had indiginous favorites like corn, pinto beans, green chili, and rabbit. Those were foods enjoyed by the Native Americans centuries before Christopher Columbus made his famous journey. But, this Notary saw how there were so many different BBQ styles that were regional. So, he created fake Notary seals for each type of BBQ specialty that he offered. He didn’t want to just do Texas style or Kansas City — he did them all.

He offered Florida style BBQ which I was unable to find on the internet. But, I read that it has fruit reduction sauces kind of like how Pollo Loco was doing it a decade ago. So, on the napkins, there was an imprint of a Florida Notary seal with an expiration date, and a county of Alachua of all places.

He offered Tennessee style backdated baby back ribs.
He had Kansas City (County of Leavenworth) style beneficiary brisket.
Next there were South Carolina satisfactory evidence style beer can chicken with mustard sauce
And Finally, there was Texas testamonium style beef ribs.
For an encore, he decided to add an uncommon BBQ item to the menu. Smoked Seal.
He had a few protesters outside his place for a while who were livid, until he offered them a sample of the seal meat. The liked it so much, they asked for a job!

And if a Notary backdated and got caught, Sam BBQed them… just kidding.

So, that is the story of Sam’s Notary BBQ Joint!

.

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Welcome to the Notary Casino
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15255

Scribbles: A Notary Comedy Club
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Notary Ambulance

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:55 am

There was a Notary in New York who wanted to be important. He was always overlooked. The only think people wanted was a $2 notarization. How are you supposed to survive in New York on $2 even if you do a few dozen Notary acts per day? He did loan signings and got the usual fee, but wanted something more. He thought for days about this perplexing problem and then came up with something. If he could get to his appointments earlier, then he could do more work every day, and maybe even get respect.

So, the Notary drove around and thought. The more he drove the more he thought and the more he thought the more he drove until it came to him. An ambulance was behind him and in a huge hurry. He saw through his rear view mirror the words Ambulance. Hmmm. The Notary had an idea. He would write the word NOTARY on a sign on his roof in mirror image writing so when someone saw it in their rear view mirror, they would know to get out of his way. There was only one thing he was lacking — a siren. This Notary didn’t want to get locked up. If you use a siren, that might be considered impersonating an emergency vehicle which might mean jail time. So, this Notary practiced doing verbal sirens.

Finally the day came when his Notary sign was complete, and he had perfected his siren impression which he learned to do by attending a comedy workshop. Yes, the same comedy workshop that sponsered the hit series, Notary Suicide Hotline. He was ready to go out into the world. So, he drove down the streets of New York, he did his siren. Everybody ignored him. The only people who paid attention were ones who laughed and made wise cracks about his funny looking sign and funny looking old car. Oh well. This Notary tried, and failed. But, at least he used his creativity!

But, then one day, he was driving along, and someone saw his sign in his rear view mirror. That person pulled up next to him and said, “Hey, I need a Notary… what do you charge?” He said he had a $50 minimum for traveling gigs. Well, this customer wanted to only pay $2 per signature, but had 1000 signatures, and would pay $100 each fifty signatures, and would pay in cash in advance. The Notary had struck it rich. The Notary went to the job, got paid cash, and laughed his way to the bank.

So, the moral of the story is, if you try different creative approaches to solving business problems, you never know what will happen!

.

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Ken’s guide to hospital signings
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3764

A tale of four notaries in hospitals
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=463

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Friends: Phoebe’s boyfriend won’t take No-tary for an answer

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 6:37 am

Phoebe has a guy who won’t take no for an answer… She’s trying to break up with him, but he always thinks she’s kidding.

Phoebe: It’s like nobody takes anything I say seriously. I could say the world is ending, locusts are swarming everywhere, hot lava is gushing and…

Joey laughs.

Phoebe: What’s so funny?

Joey: The way you said ‘gushing.’ Really comical.

Rachel: (to Phoebe) Honey, people take things you say seriously.

Pheobe: Then why won’t Leon believe me when I tell him I’m dumping him?

Monica: What did you tell him?

Pheobe: I’m dumping you.

Joey laughs again.

Joey: Funny!

Monica: Maybe you should write him a Dear John letter.

Ross: Better yet. You should WRITE him a notarized Dear John letter. Then he’ll know you mean business and it’s official.

Pheobe: A notarized Dear John letter! I like it.

Chandler: If it’s notarized, and it’s official, wouldn’t it be a Dear Leon letter?

Ross: What good is a Dear Leon letter? If she’s calling Leon “dear,” he’ll never get the hint.

Pheobe: Let’s call 123Notary.com.

Notary: Do you have the document ready?

Pheobe: You mean we have to write a document?

Notary laughs.

Pheobe: Why did you just laugh?

Notary laughs again.

Pheobe: I’m hanging up now. (then) Who wants to help me write this thing?

Joey: Okay, I’ve got the beginning. “Dear John.” Whew! I’m spent.

Rachel: “Dear Leon: It’s just not working out between us. I wish you all the best. Pheobe.”

Chandler: No, don’t wish him all the best. Wish him none of the best. Better yet. Wish him all of the worst.

Monica: Chandler, you don’t want to be mean.

Chandler: It’ll have a seal on it. It’s like the notary’s being mean.

Pheobe: How’s this? ‘Dear Leon. Stop bothering me. Now. Forever more. In the next life, if there is one. And in the next life after that if there is one.”

Joey: What about the next life after that?

Pheobe: We’ll see.

LATER AT THE NOTARY…

Notary: I’m gonna need some I.D.

Pheobe: (re: driver’s license picture) Oh, don’t look at that.

Notary: I need to look at that.

Pheobe: But I look horrible in that picture. Can’t you look at this?

Notary: The tattoo of you on your thigh doesn’t constitute an official I.D.

Pheobe: (handing over driver’s license) Okay. But don’t laugh.

Notary laughs.

Pheobe: I told you not to laugh!

Notary: I’m not laughing at the picture. I’m laughing at the way you said ‘I told you not to laugh!’

Pheobe signs the journal. Leon gets the official boot. And Pheobe gets her freedom. At least until the life after the next life after the next life.

.

You might also like:

Cheers: Frazier & Dianne get a notarized love letter
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=cheers

Compilation of Notary Sit-Com episodes!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15949

Shark Tank — 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares!
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=shark-tank

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Wheel of Fortune – Notary Edition

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 1:01 am

WHEEL OF FORTUNE – Notary Edition

Pat: Let’s say hello to our contestants. Joe here is a notary public from Commishigan. Sounds like fascinating work, Joe.

Joe: More than hosting a glorified “Hangman” for over thirty years.

Pat: Ouch. You got me there, Joe. And hello to Marie. It says you are a notary public from Seal Beach. “Seal”. Makes sense. Okay, the puzzle is a 17 letter word. You won the coin toss, Marie. Take a spin.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: Well, if you’re looking for big money, you picked the wrong profession.

Marie: Cheap shot, Pat.

Pat: Speaking of cheap – $200.

Marie: Any S’s?

Pat: Three S’s. Go again.

Marie: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $450

Marie: X?

Pat: No X’s. Unless you’re signing a document that way. Joe, your turn.

Joe: Big money! Big money!

Pat: $1000!

Joe: Any R’s?

Pat: Two R’s.

Joe: I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat. I mean the one besides how it is Vanna White still has a job.

Pat: That puzzle we’ll never solve.

Joe: “Errors and Emission”.

Pat: Speaking of errors, you just made one, yourself there, Joe. Marie, a break for you.

Marie: I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. Are there any O’s?

Pat: Three O’s.

Marie: I’d like to solve the puzzle. “Errors and Omission”.

Pat: As in the insurance policy that protects notaries liable for honest mistakes. Joe, too bad you didn’t have it when you made your honest mistake a minute ago.

Joe: Good thing a credible witness didn’t see me make it. Unless you call Vanna “credible.”

Pat: If it involves signaling things with her hands, I do. Especially the profane gesture she’s using right now!

.

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Notary Oscars
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16540

Notary Happy Days goes to China
http://blog.123notary.com/?tag=notarization-in-china

Yes, it’s the Notary Dating Show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15312

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January 12, 2011

JJ Draws a Notary Seal on Good Times

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:32 pm

JJ: Check out my new Notary Seal

FLORIDA: JJ, you aren’t a Notary

JJ: No, this is for an art project

JAMES: That doesn’t look like a Notary Seal, that looks like an explosion at a paint factory.

JJ: For your information, this is a highly desireable designer Notary Seal. We are going to market it to the most successful Notaries in Maryland and DC, if I can get out of this neighborhood without bumping into Charlie.

FLORIDA: Now, who’s Charlie?

JJ: He’s a guy who says I owe him $10

FLORIDA: Now, why would he say a thing like that?

JJ: Because I owe him $10

JAMES: Boy, how many times have I told you not to go around borrowing money from people. It’s better just to not have what you want than to have some bully chasing you around town threatening to beat you up all the time.

JJ: Oh no, I think you misunderstood. He isn’t threatening to beat me up.

FLORIDA: You see? There isn’t a problem after all.

JJ: Well at least not a problem for me. He didn’t threaten to beat me up. He threatened to be my family up.

JAMES: What? You come here now. You are going to find a way to pay that boy back if it kills you. Or I’ll kill you! You hear? I don’t want anything happening to Thelma or your mom.

JJ: Neither do I, but I think he is more interested… in you!

JAMES: In me? Is this guy crazy?

JJ: It depends how you define crazy. But, worry not. Check out the impression of this notary seal. Each word is a different color. Yellow, blue, red, green, with a black perimeter… I bet I could sell these on the street for a dollar each. They’re beautiful.

THELMA: And illegal. You can’t impersonate a Notary and give away copies of their seal impression. Everybody knows that.

JJ: What is this now, have you graduated from the academy of Notary Science now?

THELMA: I took a course. I know something.

JJ: Well worry not, because the notary seal is 200x as big as the real one, and is obviously a work of art. Besides, the Notary’s name is George Washington.

FLORIDA: Why not Abraham Lincoln. If it weren’t for him, you’d be drawing pictures of cotton on your day off.

JAMES: That’s a good point. Listen JJ, you find a way to get that $10 back to Charlie in the next 48 hours, or else you’ll be hearing from me, and my belt strap.

FLORIDA: Now, James.

JAMES: Don’t argue with me.

(the next day)

JJ: Uh huh… Excuse me. But, there is something I need to tell you all.

FLORIDA: We’re listening. I hope this is good. Are our lives in danger?

JJ: Not exactly. It seems that there was a terrible accident. I read about it in the paper, and heard about it from some friends down the block. Our friend Charlie was the victim in a hit and run accident. It seems that the perpatrator was a mobile notary who was mad because he couldn’t find a parking spot for more than an hour. He started driving irratically, and ran over Charlie.

THELMA: Does this mean you don’t have to pay back Charlie the $10?

JJ: I guess not. But, I have only one regret.

JAMES: What’s that? This better be good.

JJ: I thoroughly regret that I was not given an opportunity to sell the mobile notary one of my pictures of a notary seal impression before he was arrested.

THELMA: Well, there will be other notaries. Just you wait!

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