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February 5, 2011

The Signing from Heaven

The Signing from Heaven

The call comes in when you have nothing on your calendar. It’s for signing about 5 miles from your home. You notice that it’s from a very highly rated title company that you have been trying to link with for years. They are very exclusive about who they hire. They have several highly pro-notary policies. They always pay their notaries public in full, as long as you did not make any errors. It does not matter if it “closes” or not. If the borrower refuses to sign or rescinds; they consider only the work that you did. Their standard pay is $150 and the docs are always shipped to you at least 3 days prior to the signing date. The appointment is usually set 5 days prior.

When the docs arrive, (they ship them to you), you examine them closely. You notice that they took the time to accurately fill in the venue section with both the correct state and county where the signing will take place. There is no lengthy “Statement of Information”; only a request for a copy the signer’s IDs – and the borrowers are requested to sign the photocopy of their ID. The package is sent in a single PDF which includes the return airbill. The date of the signing has been set; however you are requested to arrange with the borrower a mutually convenient time for the actual signing. They respect and trust their notaries public and your check is included in the shipment.

You arrive at the signing location, with a nearby parking spot; to be greeted warmly. After introductions, they serve coffee and cookies on a spacious and well lighted table. They confirm that they have previously received and reviewed their “borrower copy” directly from the title company. They mention a mistake was found and provide you with a sealed FedEx envelope that they say contains, directly from title (the shipper’s address), a new HUD; to replace the one you brought. They inform you that you will also find in the envelope a note from the loan officer authorizing the document “swap”. You notice on the table the borrowers have prepared copies of their driver’s licenses and have placed the originals on top of the photocopies.

As you examine the IDs you notice that there are no sounds in the room. The TV is off, there are no children anywhere in sight; nor are any animals in the room. The borrowers tell you they have examined the entire package, and with the sole exception of needing a new HUD; they are ready to sign. Moreso, they request that you only present to them documents that need signatures, and that you “turn the page” on documents that do not need any signatures. When you reach the first page to be signed you notice that the spelling on the IDs exactly matches the spelling on the documents from the lending institution and title / escrow.

Processing the 87 page document set proceeds at a rapid pace. They sign using a neat clear full signature exactly as printed “under the line”. The borrowers have no questions, but do mention that they allocated a full hour to sign the documents. Half way thru the documents you are brought a refill of very excellent coffee, and a few more cookies. Towards the end of the document set the borrowers compliment you on your punctuality and mention their desire to send a complimentary letter on your behalf. After all the documents are signed, and the oath given; they mention a future need for a traveling notary and request your card. They notice the FedEx airbill/envelope and express appreciation that you will be handling the actual shipping of the package back for them.

Smiles and handshakes are followed by a last piece of cookie and final sip of that superb coffee.

Dear reader of this post regarding “The Signing from Heaven”;

The last line of this post can be found in a song by The “Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band” specifically, the song title is: “I’m The Urban Spaceman”. Please find the lyrics – you will have to do a bit of hunting, to find the last 3 words of my post regarding “The Signing from Heaven”; which are also the last 3 words of that song.

You might also like:

Borrowers and their filthy homes

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January 25, 2011

Reverse Blackmail at a Notary Signing

Filed under: Drama & Tragedy,Ultra-Popular — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 12:04 am

A notary accidentally notarizes an incompletely filled out document. The client holds on to it with hopes of blackmailing the notary. The notary gets a call:
Client: “Hello, I have an incompletely filled out document that was notarized by you… I am going to report you to the Secretary of State and your commission can be revoked, suspended or terminated if I do so. I need you to do 20 notarizations over the next few weeks, otherwise I will report you!”

Notary: “You mean, I have to be your notary on call? How degrading! I can’t believe I made a mistake like that! Please make a copy of the notarization and forward it to me so I can see it.”
Client: “Well, I can get it to you right away. I need something notarized, but don’t have ID. This is why I am having so much trouble.
Notary: “Can you put your request in writing? Email it to me and I will take a look at it right away.”
Client: “Okay, I’ll send it in an email”
Notary: “Ha HA, you just committed a misdemeanor, and I have it in writing! Give me my original document back, and I won’t report YOU to the Secretary of State!
Client: “You wouldn’t!”
Notary: “You gave me no choice. Now the hunter is the hunted.”
Client: “Ah…. could you put that in writing…”

Tweets:
(1) A notary accidentally notarizes an incompletely filled out document, then gets blackmailed!
(2) I need you to do 20 notarizations or I will report you to the SOS who will revoke your commission!

You might also like:

A client tries to blackmail a very seasoned notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4223

Backdating from A to Z
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=2424

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January 22, 2011

Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports: Learn which companies are involved!

Bounced Checks, Collection Agencies, FBI reports…

For some of you, this is old information that you have already been following. However, many notaries do not have time to read everything that goes on on the forum, and this news about signing companies will be of interest and a convenience to them!  It is hard for me to keep up with what is going on on the forums on a daily basis, but I have noticed that a lot of bad things happened in September 2011.  There were a few loan signing companies that had a reasonable reputation that suddenly stopped paying notaries.  One or more companies was reported to be out of business.  I am going to summarize the more important events of the last month or two here. I will only mention the more noteworthy signing companies here.
 
All Service Notary & Signings
Sept 16 – A notary gives up on trying to collect their bill and hands it over to a collection agency. Additionally, this notary reports the signing company to a credit bureau!  Another notary reports trouble getting paid from this company.  A third notary says, that after a long time, they finally received their check — but, that was in early August. The situation looks like it has deteriorated since then.
 
CRES Closers
One notary says that they are the BEST to work for!  Another says they met his fee and that they were great to work for. A third notary claims that they sent payment super fast!  Wow, it is nice to hear good things about a signing company these days!
 
Equifax Settlement Services
One notary got paid, but says the company says that they will take THREE MONTHS to pay for jobs in the future because they have to wait until the loans fund.  Another notary discusses the letter they sent to the BBB about this company. A third notary discusses the difference in what this company offers different notaries for the same work.  One gets $85, while another is offered $125!
 
FASS – First American Signature Services
Notaries are complaining, but not about payment issues.  One notary was taken off the list because FASS found a less expensive notary.  Back in 2010, FASS took over service for a big Title company and dropped the notary who had been servicing the signings for that Title company.  Another notary feels that they were treated rudely after some sort of argument about “quality issues”.  Although there is a lot of complaining going on here, I don’t see any wrongdoing on the part of FASS. They are just shopping around to find the best notaries for them — and trying to get high quality service as well. America is a free country and nobody is obligated to keep the same notary for life.
 
Final Link
Three notaries have complained that this company doesn’t do a good job of getting back to people. Not returning calls, etc.
 
First Preference Signing
Four notaries all claim in unison that this is the best company that they have ever worked for. 
 
Harvard Abstract
Three notaries are claiming that this company is easy to work for and that they pay quickly.
 
HVR Notaries
Two notaries claim that this is a good company to work for.  One says, “They met my fee”, which is a very good sign these days with all the low balling.
 
Insured Closings
Notaries claim that there have been several reports of BOUNCED CHECKS from this company.  Watch out!
 
National Loan Closers
This company is reported to be asking for $25 to keep notaries on their list. This is causing a lot of disturbance in the notary world.  Notaries feel that companies should be paying them, and not vice versa. 
 
Nations Direct
We have gotten many complaints about low-balling and micromanagement. One notary’s signing was interrupted by a phone call, where she was asked if she was using a blue pen.  On the other hand, it is prudent for a signing company who uses many newer notaries to call and check up on people. Obviously, many of the notaries they hired screwed up and ruined many loans which is the reason for all of the babysitting.  Please try to look at things from the signing company’s perspective. They are trying to get the job done.  Also see: Nations Direct has been around for more than a decade!
 
Nowclosings.com
Many notaries are claiming that this is one of the BEST signing companies they have ever worked for.

N3 Notary
A few notaries are complaining that company has badgered them too much during their signings. 

Pacific Document Services
Checks that they sent out have allegedly gotten LOST in the mail. One notary has filed an official complaint with the FBI to try to get this company shut down. Another notary received a check that BOUNCED.  This is one of the most serious cases I have seen all year!  The opinions expressed here are the opinions of particular notaries and not of 123notary.com.
  
Safir Signing Agents
Multiple notaries are complaining about no-pay and SLOW-PAY.
 
Service Link
This company has lowered their fees, and we have had many complaints from notaries about LOW-BALLING from this company.
 
Superior Closings
The people that run this company have been functioning under four different business names over the course of time.  They are reported to be out of business now.
 
The Notary Biz
Many notaries are discussing whether or not this company is still in business.  One notary had a discussion with the owner who claimed that they were no longer in business.
 
The R&R Group
Several notaries are complaining about non-payment, and one is owed $375 by this company
 
Trans State Services
Many notaries are really happy with this company.  Good working conditions and timely pay!
 
Vital Signings
This company has a good payment record, but many notaries are complaining that there are too many steps involved in the signing process and a lot of babysitting.

Tweets:
(1) Here is a list of companies that bounced checks, had FBI reports, or were notorious late payers to notaries!

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January 13, 2011

Honey, I notarized the kids (don’t try this at home)


We were expecting a notary
It was about nine o’clock. We were expecting a notary at the house to do a refinance. My wife Molly had been away all week. It was an investment property and Molly did not need to be here to sign. The kids would just not go to sleep…

“Why can’t we watch TV anymore?” Joey whined.

“Because someone is coming. Someone from the bank is coming to see us…”

“Who? Do I have to be good? Do I have to stay in my room?”

Joey started chasing Milly around the house… “Joey! Milly! STOP THAT– stop running or the notary monster will notarize you!”

“What’s ‘notarize’? Who does that? What is it?” Milly squeaked.

“The notary has this big clamp. He puts it on the paper we are signing… and if you are not good, he will clamp you with it, too. And it will hurt!”

Joey jumped up and tried to touch the lamp hanging from the ceiling. At that moment, the bulb popped…

“That’s IT!!! You’re done!!!” I yelled. Just then the doorbell rang.

The Notary arrives
I opened the door. It was Mr. Eugene the notary. He was about 5′ tall, with black hair streaked with gray…and he had dark inky circles around his eyes. He carried a notary bag and walked with a limp toward the table. “I’m Mr. Eugene,” he pointed out.

“Eugene– great to meet you. We are going to whip through these documents…but we might also want to notarize these kids,” I winked. But let’s do the signing first.”

We did whip through the documents. He was a thorough notary, and seemed very intent on every detail. When we were done, I asked, “May I see you in my office here?” I led the way…

Would you wear this mask?
I shut the door so we would have a moment away from the kids. “I sort of threatened the kids; they’re really being bad this week… Would you help me ? I made this stamp out of this cardboard…and this costume…I’m going to–would you wear this mask? It will look really scary…”

“I really shouldn’t do this… ” he looked blank.

I decided then and there to be the notary monster myself.
I had cut up an inkpad (I had one from my clerical days) and made a cardboard stamp that read “notarized.” The stamp was 6″ across and looked scary…especially when I inked it up with black ink. I put on the two-headed black monster mask, adjusted it, put on the cloak, grabbed the seal… Mr. Eugene followed me out of the room. He looked worried.

“Where are you kids?” I bellowed in a strange, foreign, angry voice. The stamp said notarized backwards turned like a mirror image…

“No! NO!” yelled the kids, running away from me…” I caught them just as they were headed into the garage… and stamped each of them on their foreheads…then all over their arms and legs…

Just then the phone rang…
Just then the phone rang. It was my wife, Molly. “Honey, I notarized the kids.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. I heard the door slam. It was Mr. Eugene.

“I’ll explain later… I can explain… Don’t call the police.”

Tweets:
(1) Kid: “Do I have to be good?” Mom: “Stop running or that Notary monster will notarize you!”
(2) The stamp said “notarized” backwards turned like a mirror image. The kids were terrified.
(3) I decided then and there to be the notary monster myself.
(4) The notary has this big clamp, and if you’re not good, he’ll clamp you with it, and it will hurt!
(5) I cut up an ink pad and made a cardboard box that read “notarized” backwards like a mirror image.
(6) Frank: “Honey, I notarized the kids.”
Molly: “What do you mean?”
Frank: “I’ll explain later, don’t call the police!”

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January 4, 2011

Witnessing the intake forms for Notary Heaven

Clerk: “NEXT!!!!”

Clerk: “You were. Ahh. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a decent notary. You never backdated. That’s just herely.”
Sal: “Pardon?”
Clerk: “Heavenly. But… On your Match.com profile, you front-dated to make yourself younger, but the women you met also front-dated and it all evened out, so no problem there. Back to your records… You never signed without having a current ID with a matching name. You were rarely late to any appointments, and you made a courtesy call when you knew you’d be late. Too bad you were late on your child support payments.”
Sal: “Better late than never.”
Clerk: “As in dead vs. never exist, I agree. Sign here.”
Sal: “I never had any kids, by the way. You must be confusing me with somebody else.”

Clerk: “You must be confusing me with somebody who confuses you for somebody else.”
Heavenly Notary: “Can I see some ID?”
Sal: “I just died. My ID is with my body down there.”

Clerk: “His commission seal expired after he did. I already checked it in.”
Notary: “Your right thumb print, please. The one you hitched a ride with to get to the dance where you met your future wife to whom you gave thumbs down to timely child support.”
Sal: “Boy, you guys really know how to stay on topic.”

Clerk: “You are hereby appointed to Notary Heaven section 263, upper level.”
Notary: “Really? Upper level! I must have done something right? By the way, up here, is upper level a good thing?”

Clerk: “It’s where we put decent notaries who didn’t make their child support payments. It’s up in the nosebleed section. But since noses don’t bleed here, no worries. Be glad you’re not headed to where we stick the backdaters.”
Sal: “Uhh… Where’s that?” Clerk: “Notary purgatory. For all of eternity, they’ll have to remind clients to stop signing differently on each page, so it’s consistent.” Sal: “Okay, but once again, I never had children. Perhaps there’s another Sal who used my social security number and…”
Heavenly Bouncer: “You’re coming with me, kid…”
Sal: “Thanks for calling me a kid. I guess compared to all of eternity, I am on the youthful side.”
Bouncer: “Up these stairs over here.”
Sal: “They don’t have escalators in heaven? Not that I’m complaining.”
Bouncer: “You’re getting aerobic exercise. It will make you feel therely.”

Sal: “Oh, okay. Wait a minute! … There-ly? Don’t you mean here-ly?”
Bouncer: “We just left heaven. This is heaven-adjacent. The address still sounds reasonably fancy, but the neighborhood’s a little seedier. For the seedier folks who shirked their child support payments.”
Sal: “Listen… I didn’t get your name.”
Bouncer: “What do you mean?” Sal: “Your name. I didn’t get your name.” Bouncer: “My name is ‘What do you mean.’ In heaven-adjacent, it makes confused new members sound like they’re my friends.” Sal: “Is there any way to appeal the whole child support issue?”
Bouncer: “You can take that up with the staff in section 263.”
Sal: “What do you mean?” Bouncer: “Yes?” Sal: “Never mind.”

263 Host: “Welcome to section 263. We’ve been expecting you! The accommodations here are adequate, and the food isn’t terrible.”
Sal: “That doesn’t sound… terrible.”
263 Host: “As for the enticing food descriptions in the menu, don’t ask me to affirm them under the penalties of perjury. Oh, and the full portions are reduced by thirty percent, because SOMEONE in the brighter world didn’t make their section 263 support payments. Ring a bell?”
Sal: “How could I have been a deadbeat before I was actually dead?”
263 Host: “Have a nice eternity.”

———————–
Old Version
———————–

Sal: “Hi, I’m Sal”
Clerk: “You sure are. Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated. You never signed without having a current ID with a matching name. You were rarely late to any appointments, and you made a courtesy call when you were going to be late. Too bad you were late on your child support payments.
Sal: “Hey, excuse me. I think there is a mistake here. You see I…”
Clerk: “Sign here”
Notary: “Can I see some ID sir?”
Sal: “Hey, give me a break, I just died. My ID is with my body down there. I never had kids by the way, you must be confusing me with…”
Clerk: “Sure you didn’t. Where have I heard that before.”
Notary: “Your right paw-print please.”
Clerk: “You are appointed to Notary Heaven section 263, upper level.”
Notary: “And what did I do to merit such a place? By the way, is that a good place?”
Clerk: “That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments. It’s a whole lot better than where we put the backdaters. I’ll leave that to your imagination.”
Sal: “Okay, but once again, I never had children. Perhaps there is another Sal who used my social security number and…”
Bouncer: “You’re coming with me kid…”
Sal: “Oooh, strong grip…”
Bouncer: “Up these stairs over here.”
Sal: “Is this heaven or is this a prison?”
Bouncer: “Think of all of god’s creation as a karmic realm of one sort or the other. Certain realms are more desirable than others.”
Sal: “Is there any way to appeal the whole child support issue?”
Bouncer: “You can take that up with the staff in section 263. Have a nice day!”

263 Staff: “Welcome to section 263. We have been expecting you! The accommodations here are honest, and the food is not bad, but you only get 70% portions because our funding got cut because SOMEONE in the brighter world didn’t make their section 263 support payments. Sound familiar?”
Sal: “Yeah, about that. I was hoping that we could…”
263 Staff: “NEXT….”

Tweets:
(1) Notary Heaven Section 263: That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments.
(2) Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated.
(3) I just died, my ID is with my body down there.
(4) Notary Heaven Section 263: That’s where we put good notaries who didn’t make their child support payments.
(5) Hmm. It says here on your Akashic records that you were a good notary. You never backdated.
(6) I just died, my ID is with my body down there.
(7) The notary heaven clerk noted that his commission seal expired after he did.
(8) Notary purgatory: For all of eternity, dead notaries get clients who sign differently on each page.

You might also like:

Compilation of comedy articles about Notary Heaven & Hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16640

The signing from hell (Carmen’s version)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=765

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January 2, 2011

Threatening for payment?

Taking the job
I dont like to do a job and then have to threaten folks to get paid. It goes against my general fiber and overall nature. I excel at what I do and expect to paid accordingly.  I took a job toward the end of the month (May). It was a settlement company. You know the ones that broker the rich and famous insurance polices that are worth 4 or 5 million and they pay out  a fraction of what they are worth, and then wait for them to  die so they can collect the full value of the policy. This is similar to JG Wentworth’s policies.

Agreeing on a fee
Well, we agree on a handsome fee of 150.00. I successfully complete the assignment.  Nothing eventful and everything went well. I was even early..:)  After the completion of the assignment, I completed a W-9 and submitted an invoice and patiently waited. After about 2 weeks I emailed my contact on a Monday and was told that I would have payment toward the  end of the following week.  My eyebrows cautiously started to rise, but, I understand company billing policies, so I let it go. By the following week on Thursday there was no check. I emailed once again, and the reply I got was that they had missed the cut off and I would receive a check at least by the next Friday.

Contacting the signing company’s client for payment?
Now, I am becoming VERY angry. So I wrote back that this sounds very much like the run around to me and it is unacceptable . I also let them know that if forced I will have to take matters into my own hands meaning that if I don’t receive payment ASAP I will be contacting their client for payment. With correspondence sent I waited. The following afternoon I receive a brief response. and I quote  “Carmen, accounting pushed your check and it’s in the mail” And I thought to myself. Great BUT why did I have to be strung along and lied to in the first place. Why didn’t you just cut the check and be done with it.  It has been a month already. Why did I have to threaten you and worse  yet  now our relationship has been strained and severed. I am confident they will never call me again Nor do I want them to. I don’t want to have to put up a fight to get paid. If I perform a job without incident and give it 100% with no error on my part I except to get paid. PERIOD. I have every right to expect this. We have every right to expect this!!!

It is a shame that we have to resort to all sorts of threats, trickery, letters/emails phone calls, etc just to get our money. This is a job in itself and It is very time consuming to keep up with these slow or no pay companies.

In closing, I know the task itself is hard but you have got to stay on top of it. As one of our notaries expressed to me…the longer you wait to try an collect the more likely you never will see a dime…..and this is the sad truth. PLEASE Check out these companies when you can BEFOREHAND.  It is not entirely foolproof but it can help weed out some of the bad ones before it costs you in time and money! Be on top of your billing, comply with all their billing request, such as W-9’s and start the collection process early.

Until next time….(now lets play the waiting game and see if the check actually shows up…lol)

Tweets:
(1) Their excuse was that they missed the cut-off and would pay up next Friday!
(2) She threatened to go to the client if they didn’t pay ASAP & then they paid promptly!

You might also like:

Notary Marketing 102 – A guide to getting paid
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19794

Does having reviews make it easier to get paid?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3227

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October 27, 2010

Stories of notaries that fail and what they did wrong.

Here are some stories about notaries who did no-no’s and what happened.

(1) A CA notary accepted a loan signing from a signing company. The notary waited until 30 minutes after their appt. began to call them & tell them that her car broke down and ASKS THE BORROWERS FOR A RIDE!! The borrowers graciously offer the notary a ride, but it gets better!!

The notary asks if they can stop at Kinkos to print docs. Then, the notary asks the borrowers to pay for the printing fees since the notary was flat broke. The husband borrower got put off and called the loan officer. The LO told the husband to GET OUT OF THERE and leave the notary @Kinkos.

The next day, the notary calls the loan officer and told him that the wife had to work late which is why they didn’t complete the signing, but that they would complete it tonight. The notary thought the signing company wouldn’t find out what happened. This is pure insanity.See More

(2) We get complaints every month about a notary who makes a mistake on a document. Then, the lender tries to contact the notary, but the notary doesn’t respond to emails or phone calls. Then, we get some lame excuse from the notary about how they were on VACATION or had some family emergency. If you are a notary, take responsibility for your work. Unless you are dead, you can still respond to an email. Wi-fi makes this possible.

(3) From time to time we get complaints about notaries who fail to return documents. The lender needs to know tracking #’s and when they can expect the documents back. Sometimes, the notaries just don’t answer their phone, or respond to email. This is the fastest way to get in trouble with 123notary and your clients. Let people know when and where you dropped their Fedex and what the tracking # is. Send them an email with the same information just to be redundant and show that you are a thorough and conscientious person.

(4) One notary arrived LATE to an appointment, didn’t handle the closing professionally, and then didn’t fax back the correct docs. The documents were also not returned properly. Can you believe this? That makes us all look bad!!!

(5) Another notary couldn’t call Title because she WORKED full time. News flash!!! — most notaries have full time jobs and do this on the side, but are able to return calls!

(6) Once in a while a notary will do a “No-show”. Some of these non-showing notaries will also ignore emails and phone calls from their clients. What a nightmare!

(7) An unusual case. A high quality signer who has been with us for a long time had a serious incident. He went to a signing at a Starbucks. The signers were there. Then he just disappears. I called him to see what had happened. He got a call from his wife that his daughter had hit her head. A parent’s nightmare!!! So, he panicked, and left without even telling the borrowers what had happened.

Where do we draw the line at family emergencies? This is a tough call for all of us.

Tweets:
(1) From time to time we get complaints about notaries who didn’t return docs. Let them know the tracking #.
(2) One notary couldn’t return a call because she had a full-time job. Do you buy this?

You might also like:

13 ways to get sued as a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19614

Just say no #2

Notary etiquette from A to Z

Best materials from our forum

California notaries with complaints

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