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April 19, 2011

Judge Duty vs. Jury Duty

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:27 am

Once upon a time there was a mean judge who never gave jurors a break. Many of the jurors on his cases had hardships meaning that nobody could replace them at work or that they didn’t get paid for even one day of jury duty. He caused so much suffering to so many people and didn’t even care. But, one day his luck changed.

The judge woke up in the morning, went to the kitchen to find a little box of chocolates on the kitchen table with a note. The note said that some people needed his help in Mexico to decide on a disagreement between cartels. He would receive instructions later. Someone had picked the lock and quietly entered, turning off his high-end alarm system somehow and getting out without making a sound. Obviously the work of seasoned professionals.

The next day when the judge went to work he noticed some shady looking people walking slowly through the neighborhood. He called the police, but the police informed him that they were not in fact committing a crime, so they could do nothing. That night he got a phone calls from a man with a Mexican accent telling him that he should get up early tomorrow and await further instructions.

By this point the judge was terrified and called the police again. But, the police said that no crime had been committed and that there was no evidence of a break in and no fingerprints either.

The next day, the judge woke up to find his car was missing, but there was a brand new Cadillac SUV in his driveway with keys on his kitchen table. There were instructions to drive to a particular municipal airport and not to call the police, otherwise there would be trouble. Fearing for the safety of the wife and kids he did what the instructions said and drove to the airport. From there he was escorted onto a small plane that flew into Zacatecas province in Mexico.

He was to do a quick trial between the Zacatecas cartel and the Sinaloa cartel. They ad a disagreement over money that would lead to a huge shoot out if not resolved quickly. The cartel guys who hired him informed the judge that although this is inconvenient for him, it will greatly benefit society if he provides his service. The judge agreed although he didn’t want to be there.

The judge was given free hotel accommodations courtesy of his contact person Juan who was very polite to the judge. Meals were provided by Juan’s sister Carmelita who made the best tamales in Zacatecas. But, tamales were not for free. They charged the Judge 32 cents per Tamale. Juan explained that at court snack bars, the jurors are not there by choice, but at least they get snacks for a reasonable price so he would extend the same courtesy to the judge.

The next day, the judge was informed that the expert witness would be delayed and the that court case would be delayed for two weeks. No phone calls were allowed during this time. Finally, the witness showed up, and there was another delay because the Sinaloa cartel couldn’t show up. So, a few more days waiting time. After 17 days, finally they were ready for a trial. The judge listened to both sides of this crazy argument and worked out an agreement.

After that the judge asked why they wanted him of all people. They explained that they didn’t like Mexican judges because they were all corrupt and that they wanted a nice gringo judge. It took the judge five hours to work out their problems. Then they flew the judge back to Los Angeles, gave him his car back and left him alone.

The next day, there was a thank you present once again on the kitchen table with cash paying the judge $15 per day for his service — exactly what California jurors are paid for their service. He also got paid 34 cents per mile radius from his hotel to the court room plus mileage fees for the flight to Mexico which was paid for by Juan. $468.26 cents was what the judge got for his service.

Meanwhile the judge lost his job due to being absent. The judge’s wife left him because she was terrified and his own kids were not allowed to talk to him. All for $468.26. On the other hand, he probably single-handedly prevented dozens of people from being gunned down which makes it worth while in some way, shape or form.

The moral of the story is that jury duty can be very beneficial for society and justice, but it also causes severe problem to people’s lives, their bosses, customers and family. The courts think they can pay pennies for disrupting our lives, but they don’t seem to understand how much harm they exact on us for some benefit to society.

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Notary Lives Matter

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:48 am

Notaries frustrated with the oppression of not being paid by signing companies decided to create a new group called, Notary Lives Matter or NLM.

They took over a signing company in Orange County and declared the entire block a police free zone. Their demands were that the police would help them get paid. But, the police didn’t want to bother.

One signing company worker who made the mistake of putting in overtime came out of the bathroom to find these unruly Notaries demonstrating in the entrance and parking lot. They made her “take a knee” and say, “I can’t breathe.” Then she turned on the air system and said, “I can breathe a lot better now.”

The police didn’t want to confront such a large number of disgruntled Notaries, so nobody got arrested. But, on the other hand nobody got paid. The moral of the story is to research companies on Notary Rotary and 123notary’s forum to make sure that companies pay. Otherwise you might be saying, “Hand up …. hand up…. don’t shoot…. don’t shoot — Notary Lives Matter!”

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April 18, 2011

Jan 23 = 123notary day.

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:17 am

I have decided to designate January 23rd as 123notary day because that day is 1-23. I am surprised it took me twenty years to think of this. I am considering having sales on particular items every year on or around this day. In 2020, we are doing to be having a sale on certification, elite certification and upgrades. I plan to bundle these products for a sales promotion. We did exactly this in 2013 and the sales were fantastic.

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April 15, 2011

My premonitions about my trip to NM came true

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:23 am

Before my last trip to New Mexico, I had several dreams which I wrote down that were premonitions.

I dreamed about a Spanish resort and grounds. I was to meet with my banker at this place. I thought this meant I would have to call a bank or make a payment before I left on my trip. I actually did not stay at a Spanish resort, but visited one that I had visited before. I never found out what the grounds represented in the dream. The bricks in the garden represent plans for the future. My trip was a relocation trip. I had planned on considering moving to New Mexico, but I reconsidered due to many factors.

I had a dream that I would go to a cool bar that I read about in a magazine. I went to an eclectic restaurant with a bar. It was the coolest spot in town with all types of nostalgia all over the restaurant. In the bathroom there were sinks made from whiskey barrels. There were route 66 nostalgia all over the walls. The restaurant had animal heads from hunting trips mounted to the walls. The food was good too, but finding this place in the middle of nowhere was weird.

Then I had a dream about a hotel room where I would turn left at the end of the room and go up two flights of stairs and then turn right to go to the bathroom. I went to a Syrian lady’s store where to go to the bathroom I needed to go out the back door, turn left, go the distance (on flat ground) of two flights of stairs, and then turn right, go up four stairs and then into the bathroom. Interesting coincidence.

I also had a dream I would see a UFO and feel an odd vibe. I never saw anything, but I was driving on the border of AZ and NM and felt a weird feeling. The back of my neck started going numb. I decided to get out of there as I did not know what was going on.

My trip resulted in horrible leg pain, so I am taking Chinese herbs and getting a lot better. My gall bladder got inflamed during my trip and now I am nursing it with green juices, herbs and meditation. The trip was disappointing, but perhaps next time will be better.

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April 6, 2011

The Jeremy Diet

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:01 am

The Jeremy Diet’s intention is to have all of the necessary nutrition you need in a day by eating sensible and hopefully yummy foods. It should be low in processed sugar, and high in vegetables, having enough protein, fiber, omega 3, K2, b12, and other essentials.

Here is my idea of a good daily diet program.

FIBER:
To live a long life, it is suggested that you consume a lot of fiber, enough so you have two bowel movements per day. Fiber helps to clean out your intestines so that toxins exit your system quickly. The following are good sources of fiber.

Psyllium husk: This adds bulk to your bowel movements. It is sold as a capsule in drug stores. It might slightly dehydrate as well, so drink lots of water if you consume this product.

Bran: Many cereals are made from bran or include bran in them

Berries: Berries have more fiber than any other whole food, especiallyblack berries

Fruits & Vegetables in general

Whole Grains

OMEGA-3
The best source of Omega three would be salmon, trout, halibut, and tuna. But, other fish have it too, but in smaller amounts. You can look up omega three content of the various fish online. Milk also has omega 3 in smaller amounts. Flax seeds have large amounts of Omega three. Walnuts have it too, but also have a lot of Omega 6 . The ratio of omega 3 to 6 in walnuts is about 1:4 which is fine, but it will not raise your overall ratio of Omega 3 to above 1:4. Fish and flax seeds will raise your overall Omega 3 to 6 ratio to a more healthy level. Omega 3 is good for your brain, and also decreases inflammation which can cause muscle pain and diseases.

K2
Vitamin K2 is less known and is responsible for transporting calcium from the arteries where it clogs things up and depositing calcium in your bones and teeth where it is needed. K2 can be found in: Goose & Duck liver, Natto (Japanese fermented soy beans), certain European cheeses (look them up), and certain types of eggs.

COFFEE & TEA
Coffee, black tea and green tea all contain different types of antioxidants. Chai tea from India comes with spices in it such as cloves, cardamom and ginger which are also loaded with antioxidants.

NUTS
Walnuts: Have half an ounce of Walnuts for Omega 3. It is also good for protein, and good for the brain, liver and kidneys. Almonds: Half an ounce of Almonds for protein, and vitamin E plus other minerals.

CHOCOLATE
Small quantities of dark chocolate (with no alkaline or milk products) are the highest source of antioxidants.

PROTEIN
Wild Salmon – low in fat, high in Omega 3, protein, high in vitamin D, B12, and other nutrients. Sustainably farmed salmon from a reputable source that does not use chemicals is a reasonable alternative.

Tempe: Although salmon tends to lower triglycerides and increase good cholesterol which lowers bad cholesterol, it is good to be vegetarian on some days to keep the overall cholesterol low so you don’t need lipitor.

Beans & Rice: Beans and rice or beans and corn have protein, but not enough for your daily requirement unless that is all you eat. But, to supplement a low meat intensive diet, some beans and rice are good.

Tofu is also a source of protein.

Milk or Yogurt: A glass of milk daily is a good source of protein and calcium.

Nuts: As mentioned in the nut category which I kept separate, nuts have about 4 grams of protein per ounce. A human needs about 50-60 grams of protein per day, so nut protein is a supplement and is not a good main source of protein.

Meat: Meat tends to be high in cholesterol. Bison, rabbit and turkey breast meat are lower in cholesterol. Lamb and chicken with skin on it tend to be higher in cholesterol. Meat is healthy, but should be eaten in moderation as it can lead to clogged arteries and can be somewhat toxic.

FRUITS
It is good to have a few items of fruit per day. Apples are healthy for your liver and intestine primarily, but are good overall. Oranges are good for C and B vitamins and nourish the heart energy in your body. Bananas nourish the intestines and have lots of potasium. Other fruits are good too.

BERRIES
I’m putting this in a separate category from fruits. Berries are good for keeping arteries clean of plaque. They are also beneficial to the kidneys and bladder especially cranberries. You can have berry juice. But, fresh whole berries are better as they have more enzymes when fresh plus they are the highest fiber whole food available. Blackberries are higher in fiber than any other whole food. You can also have berries in smoothies mixed with yogurt or other dairy.

ANTI-OXIDANTS
Antioxidants are critical as they help to keep your body from aging and help to prevent cancer.
Chocolate: Small quantities of dark chocolate (with no alkaline or milk products) are the highest source of antioxidants.
Berries
Tomatoes
Soy
Nuts
Lemons and lemon peel especially (detoxifying)
Wine – particularly red wine which is higher in resveratrol,
especially particular brands

KIDNEYS & BLADDER
Berries: (mentioned above) nourish the kidneys and bladder. It is good
to have a mix of berries as they all have different antioxidants. Cranberries are one of the most potent berries for the bladder and kidneys and should be a staple. But, pure cranberry juice is more potent than mixed and try to avoid products with high fructose corn syrup.

Mushrooms: Shitake mushrooms are anti-cancer and good for kidney health in general. Other types of mushrooms are also good for the kidney.

Bananas: Bananas nourish kidney qi as well.

Lamb: Lamb is high in cholesterol but has been known to boost kidney qi if eaten regularly.

LIVER & GALL BLADDER
To nourish the liver, you need foods like kale, spinach, Swiss Chard, daikon, romaine lettuce, beets, seaweed, cherries, celery, and apples. In general, dark green foods nourish the liver and are high in minerals and vitamin K. They also boost your metabolism if you want to lose weight. But, there are foods of other colors that are very purifying and nourishing for the liver. Since the liver is your body’s toxicity processing plant and nutrition storage depot, it is imperative that you keep the liver clean otherwise one day it might not be able to do its job effectively which could cause damage to other body parts such as your eyes, or your legs.

HEART
Tomatoes, oranges, red bell peppers, rare or medium rare beef, and chocolate are excellent foods that nourish the heart. If your heart is weak or if you have a heart condition, it is good to eat these types of foods daily.

STOMACH & SPLEEN
Both of these organs correspond to the earth element. However the foods that nourish these organs are not identical. Potatoes, peanuts, and lemons nourish the stomach. But, Carrots, ginger, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, and dark yellow or orange foods nourish the spleen. The earthy orange foods normally have high amounts of vitamin A

INTESTINES & LUNGS
To nourish the intestines you need foods corresponding to the metal element such as bananas, cabbage, broccoli, cruciferous vegetables in general (look that one up), onions, garlic, mango, celery. It is also recommended to have cereals high in fiber that might include bran. Psillium husk is a great fiber supplement that is excellent for adding bulk to your bowel movements and helps to scrape the walls of your intestine which need to be cleaned of hardened fecal matter.

Good bacteria vs. bad
Your intestines have billions of bacteria floating around. It is critical to understand this. Good bacteria aids in proper digestion. But, bad bacteria makes you crave sugar which is not healthy for you. Bad bacteria grows faster than good bacteria. Chlorine (bleach), and antibiotics in food or medicine kill all of your bacteria. So, when your bacteria grows back, it will be mostly bad bacteria. Foods that feed your bacteria are called prebiotics and include fermented foods such as:

Yogurt & Kefir
Wine
Pickles
Kombucha
Miso Soup – A Japanese soup made with fermented soy.
Natto
Kim Chi (korean pickled spicy cabbage with garlic)
Dosa (South Indian pancake made with fermented rice and bean flour.)
Uttapam (Another south indian pancake made with fermented rice flour.)

Fermented foods are found throughout the world. So, to get a good variety, it is good to familiarize yourself with some foreign foods.

SPICES
It is generally good for your circulation, liver health, and overall health to have spices in your cooking. There are many spices, particularly in Indian cooking.

OILS
There are different oils out there and much debate as to which oils are good for you and which are bad. In my opinion, fats should be consumed sparingly.
Vegetable oil: This is a processed oil loaded with omega 6 which
causes inflammation which leads to disease.
Olive Oil: A natural unprocessed oil. But, not ideal to cook with. Better if had raw on salads, etc.
Coconut oil: A natural minimally processed oil good for cooking.
Butter: High in cholesterol, but a natural form of grease.
Pork Fat: High in cholesterol, but natural grease.
Avocados & Raw Nuts: A source of healthy fats. But, consume in moderation.

SWEETENERS
There are many sweeteners out there. Which ones are healthier? It is hard to say. But, less processed sweeteners seem more healthy to me. Kane sugar: Popular in health food stores as an added sugar in packaged products.

High fructose corn syrup: a highly processed sweetener that I recommend avoiding if at all possible.

Sugar found in fruit: Fine, but don’t over do it. If having fruit juice it is possible to get too much sugar, but it is hard to overdose if eating whole foods as God intended us to eat.

Stevia: Not sure, see what the internet says about this. I believe it is a leaf.
Others: Not sure. I am not educated in this matter and cannot comment.

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SUGGESTED DIET

1. The antioxidant snack – have once per day (good for heart & kidneys)
(1/2) an ounce of Walnuts
(1/2) an ounce of Almonds (raw is better)
1 ounce of dark chocolate
Berries: fresh or dried, or berry juice.
These foods taste good together.

2. Fresh juice (good for liver & intestines)
Spinach or Kale
Apple
Lemon
Celery

3. Stir Fry, Curry, or Soup
Cabbage, kale, or other vegetables cooked up with a little meat. Barley is good in soups too.

4. Fish
It is good to have fish a few times per week to get your omegas.

5. Cereal
Cereals are a great way to get fiber, vitamins and minerals. It is quick and convenient. Just don’t get an overly sweetened cereal.

6. Fresh Fruit
Fruit is easy and you don’t have to cook it. Whole fruit is better than fruit juice as it contains fiber and because it is fresh. But, if you can’t get fresh fruit conveniently, juice is a good way to get nutrition. You can get some of your fruit nutrition from real fruit and some from bottled juice.

7. Bottled Juice
If you want to nourish all of your organs in one meal, juice is an easy way to do it as it is easy to refrigerate and you can mix different juices together. Orange juice for heart, berry juices for kidneys, carrot for vitamin A, and green juices or apple for liver. For intestines it seems better to have cruciferous vegetables.

8. Sushi
Sushi is a nice way to get different types of fish, vegetables, and rice. I have natto sushi as well for my K2.

9. Other
In general, any type of fruit or vegetable is good, and it is good to get a variety and mix them up. Certain foods I think should be eaten daily like nuts, berries, and dark chocolate. But, other foods can be mixed up.

FOODS TO AVOID

Avoid overly sugary cereals, pastry, processed foods, processed oils, and processed proteins. Eat real food.

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April 3, 2011

Blaming the government for the will of the people & Covid Karma

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:01 am

Originally posted in September, 2020

I have been so upset with the government for allowing our constitutional rights to be betrayed for light and transient cause — a fake pandemic with fake death statistics where hospitals get paid extra if they say a death is Covid19 related.

But, the people want this, at least in California. In Georgia people want to go out with their guns and protect their church. In California people want to sit, do nothing and behave as if we are in grave danger from some fake emergency that requires the shutting down of most aspects of society and then lots of nagging and other unnecessary restrictions.

I still have not seen anyone even cough and only heard of one person who knows someone who I have met who died. One person dying is not a pandemic. If this were a real pandemic, you would see people dying in mass on the street, overflowing hospitals, and real panic.

But, what type of karma would a person have for wanting to put their neighbor out of a job? That could kill their neighbor. No work means no money. That can lead to evictions and starvation. If you encourage your governor to shut everything down, are you responsible if your neighbor dies?

The interesting thing is that most of the people out of work in California like the idea of being out of work and like the idea of saving themselves from the inescapable clutches of this mystery Covid19 that I had not seen a single soul have. So, can I say that they are “doing it to themselves?” Putting themselves out of work?

Some people are just so dumb. They don’t realize there is a problem until it hits them in the face. Do we have to wait until people are dying on the street because they were evicted in mass? Do we have to wait until people die of starvation in their apartments? The economy might bounce back in Republican states, but the air is so clean in Los Angeles that the economy cannot be functioning at more than 40% at best.

Let me sum it up for dummies.
Not working >> Not having money >> Getting evicted >> Starving in the street.

Now, if the government gives you a temporary hand out to tide you over, but your job doesn’t rematerialize magically when the government check dries out — the eviction and starvation is temporarily delayed by a few weeks.

It is kind of like staying at home doesn’t save you from Covid, it just delays how fast you are likely to get it by a few weeks. It doesn’t prevent you from getting it.

Vitamin D prevents Covid.
Having a job prevents evictions.
We would all be so much better off taking vitamin D pills, A, C, veggies and keeping going to work. But the damage is already done. We did it to ourselves. This is our karma.

All I can say is thank God I have a job. When my site went down for 7.5 days I began to see how hopeless it might be for the others who don’t have work. But, I cried not having work. People in my part of town don’t seem the slightest bit upset that most people aren’t working. Are they insane? Or do they just had bad karma.

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April 1, 2011

The Judge, The Jury & Waiting Room

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:28 am

I am always upset when I have to do jury duty. I like being on a jury, but all the waiting time, delays, and inefficiencies drive me up the wall. Most of all, I don’t like being held captive for an indefinite period of time. I have things to do and I lack patience.

I think that for a jury to give someone “justice” they should not only be impartial, but intellectually capable of understanding a complicated case with conflicting information. Additionally, they should have the discipline to go through all aspects of the case during deliberation point by point in a meticulous way. When I was on a case, the other people did not want to discuss the case during deliberation. They all made up their mind within one second just like that. I was a bit offended, but what could I do. I wanted to discuss the benefit of the doubt, but they wanted to vote guilty as they had no doubts.

For a jury to be a good one, people should be tested to see if they are really impartial and can make fair decisions. Most people cannot. Most people don’t have the patience to sit in court for days and sort complicated issues out. But, what if juries were trained and selected so that only people who were fair and disciplined could be on a jury. And what if those people were paid as well? This is not the same as being a professional juror, but a screened juror. Just my idea.

THE STORY
A judge had to be in court by 11am for his case. He went to the gas station. It was closed, and there was a sign on the front saying, “closed for jury duty.” A guy cleaning up in the back called the clerk for the judge. The clerk was in the court building but in the waiting room doing nothing. The judge was out of gas and needed help. He needed to be towed to the next closest gas station, but the tow truck only took cash. So, the judge went to the bank, but the bank had a line 80 people long because most of the tellers were on jury duty. The manager at the bank called the tellers on the judge’s behalf only to find that they were also in the waiting room and not on a case. Finally the judge called the tow truck company and told them he could not get cash in time. They said it did not matter anyway because they were short staffed as their main driver was doing jury duty, but once again not on a case as he was in the waiting room.

Having juries is an important part of American due process and justice. However, society suffers when services are not rendered because people are on a jury. Perhaps that is a price that society has to pay for justice. But, society also pays a price when the court system virtually hijacks people and makes them sit all day in waiting rooms — however, there is no benefit to society to force people to sit idle for hours on end. Maybe one day the court system will figure this out.

In any case, the judge had to walk to court in the rain. It took him two hours. But the time he got there it was 12:30pm. By the time he got there the jurors were all at lunch. So, he had to wait until 1:15pm to get started. Finally, 1:15 arrived, a bunch of jurors came up to see if they could be selected. However, the case involved a police officer who had been involved in some type of misconduct. The prospective jurors were interviewed briefly by an Attorney who dismissed all of them as they all had some type of bias against police officers. The moral of the story is that the jurors had their time virtually stolen from them not for jury duty but for court inefficiencies which was bad not only for them, but for their clients.

The tow truck juror gave the judge a lift to his car, and then came back with a tow truck, and then towed him to another gas station. The judge got gas, thanked everybody and then went home only to find a summons. The judge had been selected for jury duty. He would have to give up all of his cases indefinitely because he too had jury duty and would be on the hook indefinitely as they don’t accept hardship as an excuse anymore.

I hope you enjoyed my cute story. The moral of the story is to screen people over the phone or using an app rather than having people sit doing nothing all day long for no reason. I’m sure the millennials will agree with me on this issue.

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Notarizing a dominitrix

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 9:20 am

NOTARY: I”m here to notarize your application.

DOMINITRIX: Oh, you must be my 4:30.

NOTARY: Excuse you me?

DOMINITRIX: Sit over there!

NOTARY: Okay.

So, the notary sits in a bench surrounded on both side by whips hanging from a board and bizarre outfits on the other side hanging on hangers. He is perplexed as he has never been to a place like this before.

DOMINTRIX: You have been very very bad. Come with me.

NOTARY: No you see, I don’t backdate — I’m not bad.

DOMINITRIX: Okay, please bend over.

NOTARY: Excuse me? You see, I’m the Notary. I’m not your client of whatever it is that you do here.

DOMINITRIX: Oh…. misunderstanding. I thought you were Frank, my 4:30 appointment. He’s the one who has been bad. Can I give you a sample anyway?

NOTARY: A sample of what dare I ask?

DOMINITRIX: Of my work. Frank looks like he is either late or not coming at all. Why don’t we notarize my form first.

NOTARY: Your ID please….. And please sign my journal here. Please sign on the x.

DOMINITRIX: I have my own X over there. But, it is not for signing, unless you want it to be.

NOTARY: Good God, what do you use that for?

DOMINITRIX: That is for restraining people.

NOTARY: I see. Hold on… Okay, your form has been notarized. That will be $50 for travel and my notary services.

DOMINTRIX: So, would you like a sample now that we are done and I have a little free time.

NOTARY: Am I going to regret this?

DOMINITRIX: Yes, but not that much. First of all, we need a safe word.

NOTARY: Okay, how about Locus Sigilli.

DOMINITRIX: Location of the stamp? How do you know Latin? That is what I studied at school.

NOTARY: It is a Notary term or “terminus notarius.”

DOMINTRIX: Now you are talking fake Latin.

NOTARY: Better than pig Latin.

DOMINITRIX: Good point. Okay, I am going to restrain you to this device. It any of my work gets to be too much, just say the safe word.

NOTARY: Deal…

So, the dominitrix proceeded to whip the Notary with over a dozen different whips, floggers, crops, and paddles and then tried to force the notary to admit to forging a signature. The Notary refused to admit it no matter how horrible the punishment was. At the end of the sample session which only lasted five minutes the dominitrix asked why he would not admit to forging the signature. The Notary said because if someone had forged the signature it would have been a client. The dominitrix admitted that he was making sense.

DOMINITRIX: One more thing.

NOTARY: Let me guess. You also do weddings and bar-mitzvahs?

DOMINITRIX: No… don’t forget your seal and journal.

NOTARY: Oh yeah… In any case…. have a nice day and most of all — don’t be bad!

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February 21, 2011

$400,000 cash at a signing. Can I have some?

$400,000 cash
I went to a closing and the client showed up with $400,000 cash, wanting to close on a condo without having his wife or anyone else know about it. I was really uncomfortable with it so I told him that we had to reschedule and I couldn’t take the cash. The man was really persistent, insisting that he trusted me with the money and that it would be ok but I refused. I had to get his wife to sign off on it anyway. I was shocked that had that much cash on hand!

Commentary from Jeremy. If the cash got stolen, lost in the mail, or stolen by the Lender or his helpers, there would be no way to track where the loss occured and the Notary could get blamed. Only the Mafia deals with that much cash unless they pay you electronically using MafPal.

3 refinances in a row!
I had a very convenient signing once where I had a bunch of refinances to do all in a row – the Dad, the Mom, and 3 brothers who all lived next door to each other. So I would do one, and move to the next house, and then the next house, and then the next! It was super convenient and I wish I had more signings like that!

A divorce signing
One Sunday, I had to do a signing with a husband and wife who were divorcing. The husband wanted to refinance his house as he still had payments on it. A brand new Porsche sat in the driveway. For some reason they refused to let me in the house! So we did the signing outside on a trash can while the father and mother in law stood watching us. The new car was totally worth more than the refinance! Such a funny situation!

As I live in the South, I once had a day where it was so humid in my breakfast sunroom, the ink on the papers printed on my ink jet printer started moving! I had to go to the library that day to print all my docs out! So when it’s hot and humid, don’t keep your ink jet printer in the sunroom!

You might also like:

Waiting for Santa on a Christmas Signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16134

Married for 62 Years — an “golden” signing
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16124

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January 31, 2011

Jeremy’s visit to hell

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:08 am

I asked my guru if I could see heaven.
He said that a person’s spiritual condition dictates whether or not they can be let into heaven. After 25 years of meditation, that is not enough. So, for the rest of you who do not engage in regular tything and devoted prayer multiple times a day, heaven is definitely out of the question. But, you will likely end up in Notary Purgatory where your commission will never expire. I wanted to see the mansions, the halls of records, or at least something that looks like heaven. Sylvia Brown and Jesus hyped the place up and got me all curious. Hmm.

Is there Starbucks in heaven?
If I could live in heaven I would want a mansion to share with some nice people in a huge network of gardens where I could get my divine Starbucks without getting in a car. I would want lots of hiking and things to do. My last request for heaven would be Notaries who administer Oaths, and administer them correctly. However, in heaven, people are honest which defeats the whole purpose of having Notaries in the first place. Hmm once again.

The evil spirits
An angel named Michael recruited me and taught me how to fight evil spirits. Every time I go to Arizona, the evil spirits harass me and do damage to my psychological state, my nervous system, and try to intimidate me as well using their methods. Unfortunately I am able to sense these evil entities and have been since about 2005. The evil spirits did some temporary brain damage to me in 2009 which resulted in severe paranoia, but did not affect my work. In 2016 I started receiving training on how to fight evil spirits. Since I am able to see when nobody else can that is 80% of the battle right there. It is called astral vision (look it up in your astral dictionary.) In late 2017 after a trip to central Eastern Arizona which is littered with BBQ joints and evil spirits who would love to make burnt ends out of me, I was marked. Being marked by evil spirits involves them dumping a bucket of astral matter on your head and body. This subtle matter makes you visible to spirits from far away like a homing beacon. These spirits would otherwise not notice me. In any case, I was being bombarded with spirits night and day. I was waking up in the middle of the night in terror. It is hard to fight back when you are so out of it that you see blurry and are not at all on the ball. In any case, the angels decided that the attacks were good for my learning to fight back, but they would end this by disguising me astrally which worked for the most part. But, before I was disguised, the angels had to escort me to a place that I had never been.

Hell
Hell is a place that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists all believe in. Their ideas about hell might vary, and Buddhists believe in multiple heavens and hells. I think that the Buddhist version is still overly simplified as humans don’t really know how many realms of existence there are in the astral plains.

In any case, I was expecting to see the bosses of corrupt signing companies having a party with all the money they saved from not paying people. This was not the case. There must be a separate hell for them. In any case, during my sleep, some angels decided that I needed a quick visit to hell. So, I went in my spirit body and descended down by floating while being escorted by the protection of angels. Here is what I saw.

There were 50 foot tall conical trellises that got wider as they got higher. These conical structures were made of poles that were covered with embers and littered with human souls that were confined to this inferno. The trellises were open on the top and you could float in, but attached to the ember ridden ground at the bottom. The ground was covered with reddish-black embers and hills as far as I could see into the horizon.

The purpose of the visit was to get “marked” with some of the astral smell or vibration by the boss of the evil spirits who were bothering me. This boss lived on the other side in hell, but had command of spirits on earth. Sounds scary. It is similar to gang bosses who are in jail yet call the shots as to who gets hit.

Afterwards
After I woke up the following morning I had to call the psychic to figure out what had happened and the angels explained it to me. Being marked with a subtle impression of the most evil entities sent a message out to the other evil spirits not to mess with me. It’s a little like wearing gang colors, or spending enough time in a bad neighborhood until you have their vibration and callousness. The spirits bothered me a lot less after my visit to hell which was only about half a minute. I have not been back since, and hope I never see the place again. Since them, the angels tried a much more reliable strategy of shielding me from the evil spirits by cloaking me astrally which was 99% effective (until I visited Riverside, CA for Mexican food.)

My message to Notaries is that heaven and hell are real. you might never see them in your physical incarnations, but they exist. And if you don’t do a good job as a Notary you might end up in Notary hell where demons burn you alive every day for all the sins you committed as Notaries Public. I’m not sure what happens to bad Secretaries of State who let Notaries run wild doing illegal things, but they might join you in Notary Hell.

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You might also like:

Notary Hell… “Yeah, but its’ a dry heat.”

Notary Hell – “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat”

Compilation of posts about Notary heaven, hell and purgatory

Notary comedy articles about Heaven & Hell

What are Jeremy’s favorite Blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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