Notary Archives - Page 10 of 12 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
123Notary

Notary Blog – Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice – 123notary.com Control Panel

January 23, 2011

Notary Hell – “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat”

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 11:34 am

Welcome to Notary Hell

Notaries who have done bad deeds (or signed bad Deeds) in their personal or professional life are often committed to Notary Purgatory, or Notary Hell. Many Buddhist Notaries commented that there are seven heavens and seven hells, birth, death, and rebirth. In Notary Hell, the Power of the Devil, supersedes the Power of Attorney (even if it is Authenticated by the Secretary of State.)

In Notary Hell, misdeeds, negligence, and malfeasance are considered good things, although they prefer active acts of treachery.

Common Experiences
Notaries who are condemned to Notary Hell are subjected to all types of cruel, but not unusual tortures. Some notaries have all of their documents burned in the eternal fires of hell. Others have to do a daily signing for a “reader” who reads every letter of every page, and then claims not to be sure if they want to sign. These “readers” can take up to three hundred hours to complete a signing in 130 degree heat. The devils in Notary Hell are very despotic, they like to emboss the notaries around. One devil came around with a giant red hot steel embosser and embossed a notary’s hand. Other notaries are branded on their left shoulder with a red hot iron notary seal, so that it will be obvious which part of Notary Hell they are confined to.

One notary had a near death experience that he shared with us. His soul actually left his body. Unfortunately, because of all of the misdeeds he had committed (including backdating) that he went to hell. At first he was concerned that he was in hell. But, then after a few minutes he realized that he recognized half the people there since they were his Mortgage Broker clients.

Another notary commented that when he was in Notary Hell, everything he notarized was in invisible ink, so all of his work was virtually erased.

The Warning Signs
For those who are weak in terms of their conscious, a not so subtle warning sign is often sent to the notary from the higher world. The notary will be sent to Notary Hell for a few minutes in a dream, to scare the hell out of them. If the notary does not repent, the next time the notary commits a serious error or omission, the gates of Notary Hell will open up, and the Notary Devil himself will come for a personal visit to the notary’s official address based on their records with the Secretary of State.

Entry Procedures
All notaries are required to register with the Secretary of Hell, or as the locals call it, “The Demon Vee” within 30 days of arrival. You must have an identification document that was issued in the last ten years, but hasn’t been burned (or melted) yet. Notaries are required to take their Oath of Office. There is no prerequisite residency requirement for entry. Applicants must be 18 years or older and have committed a Felony or multiple acts of Mural Turpitude. There is no proctored exam necessary as an entry requirement for Notary Hell. References from scummy people are appreciated although not required.

There are many mansions in my father’s kingdom
But, you only get a cramped spot in the basement of the mansion next to the boiler room. Although Notary Hell is horribly unpleasant, due to funding cuts in the Secretary of Hell, most of the torturous punishments have been put on hold — at least for now.

DEVIL: Welcome to Notary Hell

NOTARY: But, all I did was backdate a few times

DEVIL: You don’t know how that affected other people’s lives, do you?

NOTARY: Are you preaching to me?

DEVIL: Well, I’m not exactly the most credible of witnesses, but let’s just say, that I’m aware of the severity of your mal-actions.

NOTARY: So, what now?

DEVIL: It’s time to get you registered. Right this way.

CLERK: ID Please?

NOTARY: Here it is. By the way, it’s hot in here!

DEVIL: Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.

CLERK: Have you visited Notary Hell before?

NOTARY: The time when my client wouldn’t turn down his TV came pretty close.

CLERK: Birth and death date

NOTARY: What’s the point, I’m dead aren’t I?

CLERK: Well, we like to keep track of these things. We like to keep accurate journal entries, just like good notaries are supposed to do — hint, hint.

NOTARY: Journal Schmournal. So, I kept a journal. People signed it. Big deal.

CLERK: We take these things very seriously in the brighter world. If it had been a lesser infraction, we would have sent you to Notary Heck.

NOTARY: Okay, okay, okay. I got it.

CLERK: If every notary were as negligent as you, the entire profession would be compromised. Ha! More business for me!

NOTARY: Okay, so what now?

CLERK: Now, we take you to your accommodations. Follow the demon dressed in red, and take a left at the pitchfork in the road.

NOTARY: Got it.

DEMON: Welcome to Notary Hell.

(walking to the notary’s accommodations)

NOTARY: Oh, look to the left. I didn’t know Saddam Hussein was a Notary.

DEMON: Little mix-up. We sent him to the wrong hell.

NOTARY: Oh look at those cauldrons, notaries are being boiled in oil.

DEMON: The one good thing about having Saddam around is that we never run out of oil.

NOTARY: Just out of curiosity, is there wifi here?

DEMON: No, but we have cable. We have the Kardashian channel playing 24/7.

NOTARY: Is this my cell?

DEMON: Here’s your palatial estate.

NOTARY: And you call this notary hell?

DEMON: Yeah, but now all your dead relatives know you have a palatial estate and they’ll be visiting you in one hour. And by the way, the thermostat is on the mantle. You can turn it down to 130 during daylight hours — if you like.

NOTARY: That’s quite thoughtful of you.

DEMON: Shhhh. don’t let that get out!

.

You might also like:

Notary comedy articles about heaven & hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16640

Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

Commission Impossible
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16067

Share
>

Tactics and Weapons

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:51 am

Tactics and Weapons
Sounds like preparing for war? Well, let’s be frank. There is an ongoing war, and it’s between notaries for a limited amount of assignments. To fight this war, and win the jobs; you need to hone your Tactics and select appropriate Weapons. Of course we are not directly engaged in violence among notaries. Our fight is one of image. The notary that “appears” to be the most qualified – gets the job. Tactics in this dissertation are the procedures leading to the goals to be accomplished; Weapons are used to facilitate achieving those goals.

All other things being equal, the smarter general defeats the less intellect. Similarly, the one with “6 shooters” defeats the single shot flintlocks. Enough introduction, time to put these concepts into practice and get your phone ringing.

The first goal is being the most easy to reach notary possible. The Tactic is to present your contact information for notary services at multiple levels. The first Weapon in your arsenal is the humble business card. Distribute widely, Doing an edoc in an office building? Hand one to the lobby security guard. Do the same for apartment houses, doctor offices, and every other place. Web sites are cheap, create a good one. Most internet service providers that host sites have easy to use tools that assist in creating decent web sites. Pay the generally trivial fees and register on the various notary services web sites. They pay per click to attract seekers of notary services. That’s a start.

Prospective clients will generally try to reach you via email or phone. Your cell phone is where the calls will come in. Is it modern and able to use the newer, more penetrating frequencies? If the signal is weak at your home, consider a signal booster. It’s illegal and dangerous to use a cell phone while driving without a fully automatic Bluetooth device. Another weapon in your arsenal should be a small tape recorder (I know, they are mostly “solid state”) to record the details rather than attempting to take notes while driving. General Patton had a gun on each hip, two guns. You should have two cell phones. One for voice, one for email; that allows you to look at an email while talking about it to your client. Carry in the car 12v charger cable(s), or a spare battery.

Now that you can communicate effectively, you need the skills to be able to handle virtually any legal request; that is goal two. Your Tactics include total mastery of appropriate laws, and the methodology to process unusual and complex requests. Weapons? The key one is diligence in being a never ending student. Nobody knows it all. However, many have shared their skills and knowledge on the various notary oriented web sites. Spend a few hours each week sifting thru the “I never got paid” griping to find the golden procedural tutorials, tips and advice.

Goal three is being a better you. Solicit a variety of frank and factual opinions about how you conduct yourself. The Tactics for self improvement vary, but certainly include introspection of your personality and “bearing”. The Weapons vary from professional psychological help in extreme cases, to just accepting the feedback of others. Few bother to ask how they could have done better with their interpersonal skills.

The notary that wins the assignment battle is reachable, knows their stuff, and is a pleasure to work with. You can be sure your competition is actively working to surpass you in each aspect.

.

You might also like:

Notary Public Just Say No #3
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=376

Stories of Notaries that fail and what they do wrong
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=143

Share
>

ID – A Growing Problem

Filed under: Identification For Being Notarized,Ken Edelstein — Tags: , , , , , — admin @ 10:44 am

Confirming the identity of the affiant is a complex issue. Notary laws regarding ID requirements vary by state. Some states are very specific and have a list of what constitutes proper ID. They may or may not permit the use of a substantiating witness. I am not aware of any jurisdiction that requires multiple IDs to notarize; if you are aware of this situation please comment. One of the vendors: https://www.driverslicenseguide.com/products_summary.html has guides ranging from 25$ to over $200 (published annually!). Clearly, ID fraud is a growing issue.

As mentioned in a prior post, the City of New York will issue an “inmate release ID” with any name the prisoner chooses; if they can’t ascertain the true ID via fingerprints (1st offender?). A new initiative in NYC is to issue “Municipal IDs” to virtually anyone. There are rules and some proofs are required; but the general opinion is that they will be easy to get; with any name or address you choose. Applications can be submitted at the main NYC library or one of the Credit Union offices. Picture their situation if the proof of birth is hand written in Latvian from the local parish, without an e-mail address or telephone. Thus, even a crude forgery becomes a “valid NYC ID”. Glad you don’t live in New York City? But, you have problems too.

If your state does not have a specific list, it’s generally acceptable to accept the classic: “Government Issued Photo ID” – so do you take the NYC ID discussed above? Getting away from the proclivities of New York; most states certainly take other states Driver License, but who can really tell a genuine from a forgery? Without subscribing and always carrying an ID guide, it’s virtually impossible to know what to look for in unfamiliar driver licenses. Worse, some of the passports I have seen are totally handwritten, nothing machine printed; a few even seem to use common package sealing tape to “laminate” the ID photo, yikes!

I have been presented everything from a Food Town membership card to a Diplomatic Passport issued by the State Department. I notarized a Secret Service agent’s mortgage papers. Have I previously seen an SS agent card? Of course not. It looked “good” – so I accepted it. Yes, he did have a pistol also, inadvertently briefly exposed. He also had a DC driver license, again a first for me. Probably they were authentic; but as notaries we are not trained in ID verification.

Some might argue that a national ID card, the same for everyone is the solution. I doubt if such a measure would ever become reality. Thus, we are, with virtually; no strike that – with absolutely no training tasked with determining if the ID presented is authentic. Even a highly trained state trooper can be fooled with a good forgery. So far, there does not seem to be a solution. Here in New York State the notary is required to view (not verify!) “adequate proof” of ID. The determination of “adequate proof” is the responsibility of the individual notary – NY State does not publish a list of acceptable IDs. The list would be helpful; but forgery is still a big issue.

Inexplicably, we have the technology at hand capable of doing the job. There are databases of information about the authenticity of documents. There must be (probably with some exceptions) databases of currently issued and valid IDs. It would be nice to be able to take a cell phone picture of an ID and have it verified by competent authorities. Alternatively, many phones have the ability to scan fingerprints for their lock screen. Perhaps that technology will come to the aid of notaries struggling to verify the identity of the affiants prior to adding their stamp and seal.

.

You might also like:

Quiz about Notary identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15144

How to notarize with expired identification
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8294

Share
>

January 22, 2011

Cattle call Notary offers

Filed under: Ken Edelstein,NSA Pricing, Fees & Income — Tags: , , , — admin @ 10:29 am

Cattle Call Notary Offers
Do you Moo? Actually it’s more of a sheep call than a cattle call. Cattle are rather large and both genders can be a handful when riled, ask any cowhand. I would have preferred to title this blog “Sheep Call Notary Offers”, but the commonly used term will suffice, and it worked to get your attention; as you can’t deny that you are indeed reading this. Sheep are wonderful animals, so gentle and trusting. They baaahh a bit when you shear their wool, but that’s the extent of their complaining. Unlike cattle that like to roam individually, the sheep tend to herd together; they are so easy to manage! I’m sure some are aware of “leg of lamb” and “mutton chops”, but they choose to ignore their ultimate fate.

I just received still another of the Sheep Call notary offers. It has the usual “we pay xx$”; really? I love our free market democratic form of government. There is nothing wrong with some firm sending me a solicitation to buy their product for xx$. But the reverse offends me. By reverse I am referring to solicitation for my services that try to price set for me. They got it back asswards. It is the seller who sets the price and the payment terms. With my notary services I, not they, am the seller. I set the price and payment terms. To put it bluntly, it’s my way or the highway.

My name is http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com not “Undisclosed Recipients”. My self image, regular readers already know this; is more like a Lion than a Lamb. Many prefer to deal with docile manipulateable sheep. I know, when the rent is due you are against the wall and tend to shed your Lion’s attire for a cloak of wool. The callers are very astute at voice reading and want to be able to control their notary. Sometimes to a level of detail that goes beyond the offensive. If you absolutely must “play lamb” for a while, so be it. But work quickly at formulating a plan that allows you to shed the wool and return to Lion attire.

Back to the offensive solicitations. My general response is to state my fee and that I am available for the assignment. I add that PayPal payment is required prior to printing the edoc. That is a real “turn off” to the bottom fisher. Actually I find my response much more efficient than asking for an “unsubscribe”. I don’t want to be bothered, or offended by receiving such tripe. Truth to tell, sometimes I step a bit “over the line” in my response. I have a cute cartoon graphic called KMA.JPG. Sometimes I send it as a response to cattle calls. The acronym’s first letter stands for the word “kiss”. If you want a copy just send me an email. It would be great if all notaries sent the soon to be infamous kma.jpg in response to these lowballers.

Sure we are all notaries. But, poise, character, image, and deportment differentiate us. Your feeling of self worth, backed by your training and skills are what sets you apart. The fact that you are a member of 123notary.com is a strong indication that you, unlike most notaries; really know what you are doing. There is a good chance that your 123notary.com listing is the reason that you were included in the email directed to the flock of sheep. But, show them wrong!

Frankie Valie and the Four Seasons recorded “Walk Like A Man” (or Woman) and that is what you should be doing. Cattle / Sheep call emails are mass attempts to demean notaries. They are an offer for bottom dollar, collection grief, late docs and an extended lesson in being micro managed. The only thing these people deserve is what the herd leaves behind when it passes.

You might also like:

Read about lowball notary fees
http://blog.123notary.com/?s=lowball

Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

Share
>

January 20, 2011

Hospital Signings

Filed under: Hospital & Jail Signings — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 2:52 am

“Many notaries say they do not do hospital signings because they are depressing,” admits a Virginia notary. “However, these notarizations do provide an opportunity to give hope to people who may not be around much longer, and allow the notaries to see a side of life that makes them grateful for whatever they have.” “It’s always worth doing something for someone in pain,” adds one Tennessee notary who did the following notarization.

“It was for a diabetic who had had some kind of complications. She asked me to come to the hospital. She was on a gurney, but she needed cash out from her home, a refinance, and she was desperate,” recalls this accommodating Tennessee notary. “Every time her blood sugar dipped, we had to stop.” It is hard to imagine that nurses and doctors would allow a signing to take place under such conditions… but, I guess when people need money, they allow for all sorts of things. The woman got her money out of her home so she could pay her medical bills. “I wonder if she got to do anything else with some of that refinance money,” our Tennessee notary asks. “She was a fun person, but I guess all that sugar caught up with her. I try to avoid hospital signings, but will do them if people can’t find anyone else,” she says.

One Maryland notary signed a veterinarian at an animal hospital. The refinance took place right on the operating table after the young doctor had finished operating on a cocker spaniel who had a cyst. Operations on dogs cost anywhere from $1000 on up, so this knowledgeable young vet was able to purchase a new home in an area of Maryland from which lots of dog lovers commute to D.C. This particular dog belonged to a retired army colonel, and was his pride and joy. “It was the only ‘hospital signing’ where I wasn’t working for the patient,” our Maryland notary recalls.

A more dismal hospital visit was made by a mature male Virginia notary who was shaken by what he saw. “It was in the middle of a hurricane, well, during one part of a hurricane. Getting there was awful. But I was asked to go notarize a will. Well, this guy was in the hospital bed…and I realized he had been amputated from the navel down. But it gets worse,” says our Virginia notary. It seems they “had amputated one leg–but it was the wrong leg…so they ended up amputating both legs.” The notary pauses as if he is sighing. He asks me not to include the name of the hospital, and adds,”You have trouble sleeping after seeing something like this. This man didn’t know how long he would live, and he had pretty much lost his faith in doctors, the military, and everyone else but me. This put a lot of weight on me, and I tried to be as kind as possible and not show how truly upset I was. That man never recovered, but I have never recovered from seeing him and hearing his story,” says our Virginia notary.

A slightly more upbeat hospital signing was for a ‘cash out,’ a refinance, and the notary was asked to come to the hospital. “I ended up signing this woman on the commode,” says our undaunted Maryland notary. “Sometimes,” she points out, “you just have to go the extra mile… even if it just means sitting still.”

You might also like:

A tale of 4 notaries at hospitals
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=463

Making family members leave the room
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3604

Share
>

January 17, 2011

Unilateral Commitments

Filed under: Ken Edelstein — Tags: , — admin @ 12:20 pm

Unilateral Commitments
Hello, Roundy Round Tires, do you have a Never Flat for my Go Go Mobile? Great, I might be stopping by later this afternoon, say 2PM. Can you assure me of instant service if I decide to show up? No, I don’t wish to make an appointment at this time; I just want your assurance that if I decide to honor you with my august presence; I will be instantly accommodated.

Farfetched? Consider the notary version: Is this the notary savant? I am thinking about having some legal papers notarized, will you be available at 2PM. Well, I have not really gathered my thoughts yet. I just want to be sure you will be available if the mood to be notarized strikes me.

Is this string along notary? Good, I want to know if you will be available for a signing today at 2PM. Cutting to the essence of a real assignment, I ask for the borrower name and phone number. Well ….. we don’t have that information yet, but I just want to be sure that you can process the assignment (IF, not said), when it comes. So, you’re not sure about details, only that you want my commitment of availability, is that what this call is about?

I have had this same conversation, with slight variations; many times. In short; you promise availability, and there is a possibility that they might call back. If you discuss your fee, the chances of them calling back decrease. But, fee is not the issue here. What’s in play is your reputation for truthfulness and willingness to grab at straws. I choose my words carefully.

If my schedule permits, assignments are accepted. Well known (by me) firms, those with whom I have a trust relationship go on the calendar based on a phone call. Others, especially the ones that “talk” the “good buddy” BS; are required to prepay. Many are the signing service schedulers who sound like they could not beat a squirrel at chess. They are trolling for dopey notaries. It is there intent to obtain commitments and exactly how little you will (hope to) receive.

Well, http://kenneth-a-edelstein.com does not consider trollers as worthy of much conversation. They are honestly (sometimes I feel that is more than they deserve) told that I value my time and will only allocate a portion of it if there is a mutual commitment. Some persist; we just want to know if you will be available. They are told: currently yes, but that yes is only for the duration of this call; I will accept an assignment for the same time slot if the phone rings in ten seconds after this call. Similarly, wee hour callers must prepay DURING the initial call, no wake twice!

Personally, I think it’s a hoot that frequently on various 123notary.com forums agents complain about a lack of “loyalty”. Really? Wakie wakie, they want (even more aggressively than you) to maximize their profits. If that be at the “expense” of you – they will merrily do so. However, agents with integrity will not “play along” with the availability game. They will openly and frankly describe their time management policy. I think that will be perceived as a plus. If you are fastidious with your calendar, you are probably the same with processing the docs.

My boss might need a notary this afternoon, might you be available. I might is the answer; to borrow a part of the question. Followed by mentioning that “currently” I am, but “might” not be so at a later time. Do you wish to schedule an appointment? Possibly my honest answer is a “turn off” to the caller. If so, so be it. But, to me, a factual, frank, honest answer works best.

.

You might also like:

Notary Etiquette from Athiest to Zombie
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13718

Share
>

Two and a half notaries! A Notarization Experience

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular Overall,Sit-Coms — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 4:44 am

This is a story about a happy notary in Malibu named Charlie. He lived with his brother Sam and his brother’s son Kevin.

Charlie: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Kevin: A Notary of course — ANYTHING BUT!
Charlie: Don’t knock until you try it
Kevin: All you guys do is stamp your dumb stamp on dumb documents.
Charlie: True, but it has its perks. That’s how I met Monica!
Kevin: Good point! Charlie notarizes Monica — Ooooh!

Sam: Hey, wait a second, I was dating Monica. I REFERRED her to you!
Charlie: Correct — you WERE dating Monica. And by the time we finished the Oath verbiage, she had forgotten all about you, so help you God!
Sam: Hey, that’s not fair, I’m never referring another of my friends to you ever again.
Charlie: Relax, it was all over within days. I gave her a 3-day right to rescind our relationship, and then I didn’t call her back.
Sam: That is JUST like you.

Kevin: Hey, what’s the difference between a Notarization, and a Notarization experience?
Charlie: Oh, about $1500

Maid: Keep your ink off the counters. By the way, I’m taking three days off this week. Tell Monica I said hi.
Sam: What? I thought you said it was over?
Charlie: I never said it wasn’t. For me it’s over. For her I don’t know. By the way, who is that person who keeps calling and then keeps hanging up?
Maid: I had the number traced. It seems to be coming from Topanga. Isn’t that where Monica was from?
Charlie: Oh brother.

(ring ring)
Maid: Hey Charlie, it’s for you. It’s a customer. Natalia. She sounds nice, you better take it.
Charlie: Hey Natalia. Are you up for another notarization with Vodka?
Natalia: Am I ever. Bring your notary stamp and your notary bond with you darling.
Charlie: I’ll be right over. Oh, but this time, let’s have the vodka AFTER the signing.
Natalia: Anything you like, just as long as — you — are there!
Charlie: I figure if we can remember to do the signing first, then after we have the vodka it won’t matter what we remember, because we won’t remember!
Natalia: 8 — sharp. don’t be late!

Tweets:
(1) 2 & a half notaries: What’s the difference between a notarization and a notarization experience?
(2) 2 & a half notaries: Find out what happens when Charlie notarizes Natalia and then have vodka afterwards!

Share
>

January 15, 2011

Advice to new notaries: Interview with a Veteran Notary

Filed under: General Articles,Popular on Linked In — Tags: , — admin @ 8:20 am

I love doing loans signings, and have done them for ten years. I have been in Real Estate for 30 years, but I like the loan signings better. I’ve met all kinds of people, and the NSA has a chance to help them all.

RE new NSAs: Notaries have to know when to keep their mouth shut. If there is something on the loan docs the borrower wants to know about, always give them a general answer– but if you say the wrong thing, forget it!
For instance, a notary could say “I can get you a better interest rate!” But we don’t know why those figures are there– why the person has the rate he/ she has. Don’t comment! That particular loan can fold. But the notary may not know the workings of the escrow to get it to that point. ALWAYS have the borrowers contact the Loan Officer. I am old enough to know that if that borrower is so upset, I can handle it.

You can look around the home and know how to handle the signing. For example, at Christmas, I went to a home where the borrower was disgusted. They were packing to go on a trip, and a lot of things were set up to go. They had a baby. That tells me “Say some reassuring things.” I mother them. The loan had taken 7 months, and it was Christmas eve day. It had taken so long! I told her I understood, and that I could leave if she wanted me to. She saw I was experienced and that I cared, and she calmed down and signed. She might not have signed for another notary.

One time a borrower did not show for about 30 mins– there was a girlfriend living in the house, and there was a wife– the man was buying her out! I had to tell them to stop the bad language, and she was also afraid that he was going to take all the money. I said “I’m out of here”— but then they calmed down and signed. A new notary would have panicked and left. But I got them to sign: their marriage was over, and they needed the money. I did a reverse mortgage for a man who sold Fuller Brush. The man wanted to read it all– three hours! I looked around the house, and he had nothing there! He didn’t even have enough income to support himself and his disabled son. I knew he needed the loan and I let him read. I asked him “Do you know what I just read?” He didn’t. I had to make him understand what the APR is (briefly; a generic answer–like you have on 123notary–in the Ninja book.) After the signing, he came to the house and handed my daughter a $50 gift certificate. He was so grateful. This was years ago.

Every situation is different. You need to adapt to that situation. You are doing the borrower a disservice if you just point and sign.
You should also never backdate. There is always someone who will talk if you do something wrong. The only person who is not going to talk is me. But you can never trust the company not to come back to blame you in the future–so don’t backdate!

These borrowers are real people– not just numbers. Be sure you know about the documents!
Instead of taking low-ball offers — take a course and study the loan documents! This will give you a lot of business. You do not need to take low offers to start out. Your printer and computer, phone, car insurance, gas– all these come out of what you make. You can’t print and do all this and do a loan for $60.

You might also like:

Interview with Timios title
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6718

Share
>

January 13, 2011

Notary Ambulance

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:55 am

There was a Notary in New York who wanted to be important. He was always overlooked. The only think people wanted was a $2 notarization. How are you supposed to survive in New York on $2 even if you do a few dozen Notary acts per day? He did loan signings and got the usual fee, but wanted something more. He thought for days about this perplexing problem and then came up with something. If he could get to his appointments earlier, then he could do more work every day, and maybe even get respect.

So, the Notary drove around and thought. The more he drove the more he thought and the more he thought the more he drove until it came to him. An ambulance was behind him and in a huge hurry. He saw through his rear view mirror the words Ambulance. Hmmm. The Notary had an idea. He would write the word NOTARY on a sign on his roof in mirror image writing so when someone saw it in their rear view mirror, they would know to get out of his way. There was only one thing he was lacking — a siren. This Notary didn’t want to get locked up. If you use a siren, that might be considered impersonating an emergency vehicle which might mean jail time. So, this Notary practiced doing verbal sirens.

Finally the day came when his Notary sign was complete, and he had perfected his siren impression which he learned to do by attending a comedy workshop. Yes, the same comedy workshop that sponsered the hit series, Notary Suicide Hotline. He was ready to go out into the world. So, he drove down the streets of New York, he did his siren. Everybody ignored him. The only people who paid attention were ones who laughed and made wise cracks about his funny looking sign and funny looking old car. Oh well. This Notary tried, and failed. But, at least he used his creativity!

But, then one day, he was driving along, and someone saw his sign in his rear view mirror. That person pulled up next to him and said, “Hey, I need a Notary… what do you charge?” He said he had a $50 minimum for traveling gigs. Well, this customer wanted to only pay $2 per signature, but had 1000 signatures, and would pay $100 each fifty signatures, and would pay in cash in advance. The Notary had struck it rich. The Notary went to the job, got paid cash, and laughed his way to the bank.

So, the moral of the story is, if you try different creative approaches to solving business problems, you never know what will happen!

.

You might also like:

Ken’s guide to hospital signings
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3764

A tale of four notaries in hospitals
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=463

Share
>

January 12, 2011

JJ Draws a Notary Seal on Good Times

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:32 pm

JJ: Check out my new Notary Seal

FLORIDA: JJ, you aren’t a Notary

JJ: No, this is for an art project

JAMES: That doesn’t look like a Notary Seal, that looks like an explosion at a paint factory.

JJ: For your information, this is a highly desireable designer Notary Seal. We are going to market it to the most successful Notaries in Maryland and DC, if I can get out of this neighborhood without bumping into Charlie.

FLORIDA: Now, who’s Charlie?

JJ: He’s a guy who says I owe him $10

FLORIDA: Now, why would he say a thing like that?

JJ: Because I owe him $10

JAMES: Boy, how many times have I told you not to go around borrowing money from people. It’s better just to not have what you want than to have some bully chasing you around town threatening to beat you up all the time.

JJ: Oh no, I think you misunderstood. He isn’t threatening to beat me up.

FLORIDA: You see? There isn’t a problem after all.

JJ: Well at least not a problem for me. He didn’t threaten to beat me up. He threatened to be my family up.

JAMES: What? You come here now. You are going to find a way to pay that boy back if it kills you. Or I’ll kill you! You hear? I don’t want anything happening to Thelma or your mom.

JJ: Neither do I, but I think he is more interested… in you!

JAMES: In me? Is this guy crazy?

JJ: It depends how you define crazy. But, worry not. Check out the impression of this notary seal. Each word is a different color. Yellow, blue, red, green, with a black perimeter… I bet I could sell these on the street for a dollar each. They’re beautiful.

THELMA: And illegal. You can’t impersonate a Notary and give away copies of their seal impression. Everybody knows that.

JJ: What is this now, have you graduated from the academy of Notary Science now?

THELMA: I took a course. I know something.

JJ: Well worry not, because the notary seal is 200x as big as the real one, and is obviously a work of art. Besides, the Notary’s name is George Washington.

FLORIDA: Why not Abraham Lincoln. If it weren’t for him, you’d be drawing pictures of cotton on your day off.

JAMES: That’s a good point. Listen JJ, you find a way to get that $10 back to Charlie in the next 48 hours, or else you’ll be hearing from me, and my belt strap.

FLORIDA: Now, James.

JAMES: Don’t argue with me.

(the next day)

JJ: Uh huh… Excuse me. But, there is something I need to tell you all.

FLORIDA: We’re listening. I hope this is good. Are our lives in danger?

JJ: Not exactly. It seems that there was a terrible accident. I read about it in the paper, and heard about it from some friends down the block. Our friend Charlie was the victim in a hit and run accident. It seems that the perpatrator was a mobile notary who was mad because he couldn’t find a parking spot for more than an hour. He started driving irratically, and ran over Charlie.

THELMA: Does this mean you don’t have to pay back Charlie the $10?

JJ: I guess not. But, I have only one regret.

JAMES: What’s that? This better be good.

JJ: I thoroughly regret that I was not given an opportunity to sell the mobile notary one of my pictures of a notary seal impression before he was arrested.

THELMA: Well, there will be other notaries. Just you wait!

.

Share
>
« Newer Posts — Older Posts »