KAMALA: I suggest a $300 minimum fee for loan signings.
RAND PAUL: If you do that, then most Notaries will be put out of work. Hiring parties will still have the right to NOT hire people…. at all.
JEREMY: Stop making sense! If everybody made sense then nothing would get done.
KAMALA: I remember that 20 years ago, there was a little girl who dreamed about being a mobile notary, and driving a Mercedes C class on her way to signings. Every night after she came home from school she would study Notary journals. She had to look up every second word because it was written in legalese. That little girl would do anything to become a successful mobile notary.
JEREMY: Let me guess — that little girl was you.
KAMALA: Hey, I’m supposed to say that.
RAND PAUL: I think the “20 years ago” part is a bit of a stretch.
KAMALA: Stay out of it!!! — I’ve still “got it” and you know it. I saw you checking me out.
JEREMY: A point well made. But, during your debate with Biden you said that you thought mobile notaries only deserved $150 minimum fee. Why a sudden change in heart?
KAMALA: It was a debate…. (pause)… It was a deBATE… (pause). It was a debate!!!! It was a debate…………………………………… ha ha ha ha ha!!! It was a debate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAND PAUL: Isn’t she supposed to say that exactly 12 times?
JEREMY: Does Joe check you out too?
KAMALA: (frustrated look). None of your business!!!!!!
JEREMY: You can buy a lot of masala dosa with $300 per signing. But, the price of sambar is going up.
KAMALA: Not if you make it yourself. And I know where to buy the best ingredients!
TUCKER CARLSON: It looks like you are creating an elite class of Notaries who get all the work while everyone else starves. Is that the goal of socialism? It’s sure not my goal.
KAMALA: No!!! I just want people to get paid what they deserve.
JEREMY: They already do get paid what they deserve. It is called a free market.
RAND PAUL: At $300 per hit it’s anything but free. And with the test scores people get on Jeremy’s test, I’m not sure if they deserve more than $30 per signing… on a good day.
JEREMY: Good point. I was supposed to say that.
TUCKER CARLSON: Well you can say that next time.
LAURA INGRAHAM: And that’s the angle!
BYSTANDER: AT $300 per hit, I would just notarize myself.
JEREMY: That’s illegal
TUCKER CARLSON: That’s correct, and that wraps it up. Now, on to peace in the Middle East, or the lack of it. We have an interview with Bibi Netanyahu…
I’m already making $275-$300 a closing as a mobile notary in TX. Know yoyr worth and stop accepting pennies. Title companies have no problem paying the experienced professional mobile notaries.
Comment by T — October 11, 2021 @ 2:18 pm
Good one.
Comment by Shamina — October 11, 2021 @ 2:21 pm
At some of my signings, I make more than $300. When I have to drive on mountain roads and they are 3 hours or more one way. Kamala, stay in your own lane. You don’t have 1st hand knowledge of what being a mobile Notary involves. You are about as knowledgeable about this subject as you are about open boarders. NOTHING!!
Comment by Ryvona Stephens — October 11, 2021 @ 2:50 pm
This was Great!
Comment by Karen Frisella — October 11, 2021 @ 2:58 pm
That was good .
Comment by Matthew — October 11, 2021 @ 3:18 pm
Not funny Who posted this?
Comment by Rusel Heckert — October 11, 2021 @ 3:21 pm
Well that was different…
Comment by Rose Mata — October 11, 2021 @ 3:51 pm
While this piece is obviously satire, it should be labled as such. I liked the part about the low test scores on Jeremy’s test showing that many notaries deserve low fees. I remember having a slow day and not doing well on his test, though I had been a loan signing agent for years. BTW: I stopped doing loan signings some time ago because of declining signing fees. Companies that previously paid me fairly well for quality work found that the “Cattle Call” method got them lots of notaries willing to work for less money, and they were apparently willing to accept lower quality work.
Comment by Edward Patrovsky — October 11, 2021 @ 6:59 pm
I do believe we should make more than we do these companies are expectation more from us notaries for FEE, IE scan backs and some are asking for scan backs within 2 hrs or right after closing hack NO !! I am on hte road doing closings all day long if they want scan backs asap they need to pay me lots more than, or they will get at end of business day. Just because title companies people are working from home and they get a salary does not take card of me. this is why the scan backs are so increasing now .
PAY US WHAT WE ARE WORTH! you are !
Comment by Katherine Louise Warweg — October 12, 2021 @ 12:36 am
I agree, Not funny!! Can’t believe that a political view from the right always seems to be about personal attacks rather than a policy. To that point, I can’t believe that a notary would agree that a base fee of $300 would kill the industry, when the industry has been around for decades where $300 was a norm in some places. Especially, to work against the industry just to be inline with a political party. Shame on you. You’d rather have us make less money just to be inline with your party. To that end, why should anyone vote for your party when it’s about ensuring that the American Dream can only be obtained by a few rather than the many. As a former Marine, we believe the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. That’s why as the few, we put our lives on the line for the many and we’re proud of it. The Few, The Proud, The Marines!!!
Comment by Richard Jackson — October 12, 2021 @ 12:19 pm
I do not do scan backs-they don’t pay enough-and they ask you for ridiculous times to return the scans–Once I leave my home with documents in hand -I do not have time to return home and scan-shame on the lazy companies that can’t seem to have their documents out on time when they have had them for months-and they want us Notaries to perform miracles–Hack NO
I do believe we should be paid more.
Comment by Elva Valdez — October 18, 2021 @ 5:52 pm
I sense that in the last few months, signing fees have started to trend downward, is that because more out of work newbies are in the notary business now, accepting slave wages? In California asking for a base fee of $125 for non-Title companies makes scheduling companies gasp. Last year this time a notary could ask $150 for a two-signer refi no scan.
I provide scans when the paperwork is mission critical like a Seller package or Buyer package due to funding problems. It is not my fault if I get the documents late and I do not have a magic wand but I am a team player. $300 fees, only if it covers a distance and it is practically the only assignment you can do for the day. I do this fulltime and I only take the signings that make sense to me or if I am called because I can negotiate.
Comment by Keaton Notary — October 22, 2021 @ 4:18 pm
How do i get $300?
Comment by Kyle Russell — October 27, 2021 @ 6:46 pm
Why would we balk at $300 a minimum signing fee…I get high fees but haven’t hit the 300 figure ..close….and I absolutely have increased my fees for full scan backs…for heavens sake it can take an hour or do so and a few of the companies are not willing yet to pay the higher fee…no problem for me…I just do not do business with them…if other notaries woke up and charged a higher fee for fax backs then these companies would pay….but there will always be someone to take less….I’ve an established record and therefore the companies pay my fee……..good luck everyone…know your worth!
Comment by ANN DYE — October 27, 2021 @ 6:58 pm
I find it interesting to see the fees in other parts of the country. I am in rural Iowa and getting business by quoting $100 for the signing and $0.60/mile for a refi. I have begun scanning the entire package and letting them sort the documents they want for another $10 or $20. If there is a question about mileage they can google it or usually have. My attorney friend charged $50 an hour travel time in addition to his other charges!! Gas continues to go up, tires are bigger and more expensive, paper cost is increasing, ink and toner is rising. As has been said we need to “Know our Worth” and cover our knowledge, expenses and ______!!
Comment by C Gary Bowers — October 28, 2021 @ 11:57 pm
All this rucus just because KH posted or said something about how much should I charge…..I have my own prices for travel fees, miles and Loan Packets, Besides the Secretary of State, I don’t need anyone to tell me what should I charge to use my Car, my telephone my printer my scanner and my time. Kamala Harris do your Job as Vicepresident and stop messing with peoples living-hoods.
Comment by David V Fuentes — April 2, 2022 @ 6:35 pm