JEREMY: Now for the Notary news of the day. It has been alleged that China interfered with a process within the local secretary of state’s office that influenced a decision on Notary policy. Now, Notaries are not required to verify if an ID is actually real using a serious of logical steps.

TUCKER CARLSON: This is fake news!

HANNITY: That’s not fake news. Jeremy runs a blog with Notary articles. It is not news to begin with. It’s fake non-news.

TRUMP: All I want to know… is why does most of the trouble we have in the United States, most of the spying, espionage, interference with elections, interference with notary divisions, and most of the new infections diseases always come from (pause) … Chi—na.

JEREMY: I love that you got more than that the last ten presidents all put together. I love how you got touch on trade with China. I love how you give the media a hard time. But, the thing I love most about you, is how you say, “China.”

TRUMP: Thanks, I appreciate that. After all the abuse I’ve taken, it just makes me not want to go to work in the morning. But, now I’ll be living in Florida and going back to running my businesses. So, maybe I’ll feel like going to work in the morning. You have to go to work in the morning. I repeat myself a lot. And sometimes I repeat myself.

TUCKER CARLSON: I have a better idea. Why not call it “un-news.”

LAURA INGRAHAM: ha… I kind of like that. That has a ring to it. Un-news. Fake un-news.

JEREMY: Umm. How can I say this. This is not news, un-news, fake news, or anything of the sort. It is a satirical article for Notaries. They get bored, my job is to inform and entertain.

TUCKER: CARLSON: Good point. It isn’t fake news, and it shouldn’t be. We would never publish anything like this. Why would we? Why would anyone? Why would you? It doesn’t make the world a better place, not does it make your life any better.

JEREMY: I like to write useful information sometimes and other times I like to write about nonsense. Why not. I write it because I have freedom of press just as long as I don’t try to promote it on Facebook.

LAURA INGRAHAM: Yes, Facebook thinks that freedom of press is a risk to national security, at least if it is on their platform.

JEREMY: I think that the problem is that Zuckerberg learned Chinese, and started thinking like they do over there — repression. But, I learned Chinese and feel the opposite. But, I studied in Taiwan and have a Taiwanese accent in Chinese. Hmm. If I learn a Peking accent will that change my world view?

TUCKER CARLSON: It might change your worldview and it should. Where you live affects your consciousness. It always does, and there is no denying it. In fact, where you live affects your way of thinking to such a degree, that you should strongly consider not living in a place that makes you think like a freedom hating control freak.

JEREMY: Unless you like being a freedom hating control freak. Some people like that kind of thing — especially in California where I live.