JERRY: Hey, how’d you like to become a remote online notary?
GEORGE: I’m not even remotely interested.
JERRY: Hmm, sounds like you’re not a good candidate.
GEORGE: Well what’s involved.
JERRY: Well for one, I’m going out on a limb here, but I would assume that you would need to be remote.
GEORGE: You mean I would have to go to Wyoming? I’ve always dreamed of going to Yellowstone, but living there?
JERRY: AND, you’d probably have to be online.
GEORGE: Oh, no, I’m right here — nothing virtual about me. I’m the real deal. You can touch my arm… No really.
JERRY: I think I’ll pass. But, if you got in trouble as an ONLINE NOTARY, your career would really be ON THE LINE.
GEORGE: I like that. That was a classy line.Or maybe if you got in trouble, you would be OFF THE LINE, kind of like laundry that’s in trouble. Offline. Right?
JERRY: Maybe. And the third qualification is that you have to be a Notary.
GEORGE: What is a Notary. I don’t think I’ve ever met one.
JERRY: Oh you’ve met one.. more than one. Elaine used to be a Notary. She never talked about it much.
GEORGE: GET OUT!!! (pushes Jerry) You know, let me get a sense of how this notary thing works. I’m going to look it up on my iPhone… huh… ohhh…. Online Notary and more… This is going to be good. I’ll call them right now.
SALLY: Online Notary and more, this is Sally. What are you wearing?
GEORGE: What do you mean what am I wearing. This is an online Notary service, right?
SALLY: I’m wearing something really short with black nylons. I’m sliding my online seal slowly up my leg.
GEORGE: Just out of curiosity is that a physical leg or a virtual leg?
SALLY: Oh, it’s real baby. Now, I’m slowly sliding off my left nylon.
GEORGE: Your left or my right.
SALLY: It’s mine, not yours. Okay, let’s get to business. How do you want it?
GEORGE: I want an online notarization.
SALLY: You will need an online ID and an online document. Do you have both of these?
GEORGE: Umm. (pause) No.
SALLY: You’ll need online payment too.
JERRY: I think you’re unprepared. Better see what is going on by visiting one of those online Notary portals. Maybe they will explain the process. Let me have the phone. Sally, it was nice. George isn’t ready for this yet.
SALLY: Maybe when he’s a little older, at least in cyber maturity.
GEORGE: Once again, thanks for the vote of confidence. But, I learned something today. I am an in person type of guy. Yup. That’s what I am . I know what I am and I’m proud of it!
